


Suddenly

by Attacus_atlas



Series: I Fell In Love [1]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: BFFs to Bfs, College AU, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of soft domestic stuff, M/M, Mentions of CLC SF9 and a few other artists, Slow Burn, alcohol use, angsty through ch.6-8 sorry guys, college boys are jerks, implied internalized homophobia, really soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-20 05:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 177,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13710528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attacus_atlas/pseuds/Attacus_atlas
Summary: Not even a day into the second semester, Jinho’s roommate, Hyunggu points out that he still has yet to return the shirt that mysteriously found its way into his hamper at the laundromat to its rightful owner. Instead, he’s been wearing it as an incredibly oversized pajama shirt. In his defense, he doesn’t even know who the owner is. But, he promises to try and find them anyway, so Hyunggu will leave him alone about it.After classes, he heads off to the laundromat only to find the bottom row of washers filled, leaving only the top row available. It just so happens that he’s slightly too short to reach the dial and coin slots on the stacked, top row washers. Fortunately, a tall, kind soul is happily willing to help him out. And even more fortunate for Jinho, he doesn’t have to look too hard for the owner of the mysterious shirt. Turns out, it belongs to the nice man helping him.It doesn’t take long for them to become fast friends after finding out they both attend the same university. But a confusing series of events leads Jinho to question just where this tall, kindhearted med student fits into his life.





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late Valentine’s and Lunar New Year everyone! 
> 
> You may recognize me as the author of Wicked Fascinations. This is my apology for still being stuck writing Yan An’s chapter after a literal month. I promise I’ll try to have chapter four finished for you all soon! But for now, please take this soft mushy start of a side story starring the softest tall and small couple. I had another AU in mind that once again... shamelessly revolves around Hyunggu and Yuto, but as I was writing it (before I ever even started Wicked Fascinations! I promise I’m not abandoning it!) I fell In love with the interactions of these two. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the main story to the point I’d like it to be, but I’ll post this as part of a series just in case. 
> 
> For now, this will be my subject for when I need a break from Wicked Fascinations to clear my mind a little. I hope you enjoy it and I always appreciate feedback! Thank you for your patience!
> 
> (Also, you should all check out the MV Cube released for one of Kino’s self composed songs, Lonely. It’s super cute and super rude, just like him.)

“When are you going to give that shirt back to whoever owns it?” Hyunggu asked from the bed. He was sitting upright, gently swinging his feet back in forth over the edge like a child. He’d just cuddled Jinho awake for class and hadn’t left just quite yet, to Jinho’s dismay. The shorter man looked down at the oversized gray camo shirt he’d been too lazy to change out of before he went to bed last night.

“Oh, this one? I still don’t know who’s it is.” Jinho said with a yawn as he rubbed his eyes awake. It was too early to think about his extensive to do list just yet. Returning the shirt was going to have to happen after he did laundry later today so he’d have a clean shirt to wear afterwards. It’s cold outside and he’s been rather lazy about venturing outside and to the laundromat. He’s been wearing the same pair of pants for a week, regardless of the fact that they’re his warmest pants and he would have done the same thing whether he had any other pants clean or not. Flannel lined jeans that even made his thighs look great were a blessing and he wasn’t about to only wear them once before washing them again. 

“Just post a ‘found shirt’ poster in the laundromat. Someone is bound to go back to do laundry and see it.” Hyunggu suggested, pursing his lips. 

“Ah maybe next week. I have too much to do this week.” Jinho stretched his arms up over his head. He pulled the jeans on over his boxers, which were conveniently hidden under the hem of the gigantic shirt. Hyunggu rolled his eyes.

“You’ve been putting off giving that shirt back for a month. And you always use the ‘I’m too busy’ excuse. Just find out who’s it is and give it back already.” The younger whined from the bed, letting out a long exasperated sigh as he plopped down on his back onto the mattress. Jinho grumbled and left the room. He’d worry about it after his 8am class.

___________

Jinho, not so quietly, cursed himself for always skipping arm day when he did actually bother to go to the gym. He had tend thighs and nice calves, but his ever so slightly pudgy arms weren’t king him any good against what he guessed was at least 30 pounds of laundry. He could barely see over the clothing he had stuffed dangerously tight into the laundry basket he was carrying. The long, journey down the street was excruciating. It was a good 10 minute walk, short enough to not need a car, but long enough to make a month’s worth of laundry a struggle to carry.

When he arrived, he groaned loudly at the sight in front of him. Three moms were chattering at one of the benches by the window and by the hampers that were stacked beside them, it was clear they were washing at least three entire sports teams’ uniforms. All of the washers on the bottom row buzzed and rattled with their heavy loads. The washers were stacked in two rows along the wall to the left of the door, one lower and one upper. It was just his luck that the only ones open were the ones he happened to be too short to easily use. Last time he had to use them, he broke his laundry basket after standing on top of it to reach the coin slot and had to beg Hui to pick him up so he wouldn’t have to carry it all home in his arms. It was _not_ a fun time. Hui laughed at him the whole 5 minute ride home.

With a sigh, he trudged over to the washers and sat down his basket. He pulled his backpack off his shoulders and dug out the detergent and a plastic bag full of loose change. He was tall enough to open the washer door, and stuffed whatever he could into it before slamming it back. It was the cycle selection knob and coin slots that were the problem. They were just a few centimeters too high. It was a design flaw, really. They simply placed the same style of washer on the ground level on the top, not thinking of the people who wouldn’t be able to reach the necessities. Jinho grumbled under his breath and stretched upwards onto the tips of his toes trying to reach the knob.

“Do you need a hand?” A voice asked behind him. The sudden question startled Jinho and he lost his balance for a quick second, just long enough to visibly flail his arms before latching onto the washer door handle. He took a deep breath to collect himself and turned around, eyes meeting the tacky design screen printed across the man’s chest. He blinked a couple times before looking up to meet his eyes. They were gentle and friendly and slightly wide with concern. The man had a basket of darks on his hip and a bottle of detergent in his other hand.

“Do you, uh, need help reaching the knob? I don’t mind.” He offered once more, sitting his basket down in front of the washers and placing the jug inside of it. Jinho quietly struggled with whether he should let go of his pride and accept the help, or continue to embarrass himself in front of the three soccer moms and this very, very tall man.

“That would... um. Be nice.” He said as the man stood back up to his whole height. He smiled a kind smile in return and shifted a bit closer to reach the knob. Jinho told him which cycle and handed him the proper change to put in the coin slot. He even helped him fill the little detergent drawer. Bless this man and his height and kind soul. The tall man happily pressed go and gave Jinho a thumbs up. He practically snorted at the dorky gesture. 

“Thanks for helping me out.” He told him with a smile. The other widened his in return, eyes crinkling up in the corners. After a few moments, the wide smile was replaced with an odd look. Jinho raised an eyebrow at the tall man’s stare.

“Is that... I had a shirt just like that one and lost it after doing a load nearly last month...” Jinho sputtered. There was no way he’d run right into the owner of this shirt the first time he’d come back to the laundromat after accidentally bringing it home with him. Absolutely no way.

“Th-this shirt? It got mixed up in my laundry about a month ago. I meant to try to come back and find the owner, but hadn’t had the time. Is it seriously yours?” He pulled at the gigantic gray camo print shirt that hung from his body.

“I’m pretty sure it is.” The man rubbed at his chin, thinking it over. “I didn’t think it was just _that_ big though... I mean it was a little loose on me, but goodness... it swallows you whole.” He shot an amused grin at Jinho. He pulled the collar that was almost hanging off his shoulder up towards his neck, suddenly self conscious. The action made the other chuckle.

“I’m Yang Hongseok, I’m a student at the university here.” He said as he extended a hand. Jinho stared in shock at just how large it was and then looked at his own, noticing how stubby his fingers were. Reluctantly, he shook his hand, watching his get swallowed up. 

“I’m Jo Jinho, I’m a student too, but holy fuck your hands are huge.” Hongseok covered his mouth with his free hand as he bust out into laughter.

“And yours are so small!” He cupped Jinho’s hand into his palms and flipped it over. Jinho felt his face burn. Yes. His hands were small. He was small. This was not new or surprising.

“They’re so cute.” Jinho furrowed his brows. Cute? His hands were cute? Hongseok quickly stopped his laughter when he noticed Jinho’s slowly forming pout. “Ah, I’m sorry if you don’t like being called cute.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m just used to my roommate being the one who gets called cute. This is just... new.” Jinho admitted. Hyunggu was usually hanging off him or trailing behind like a puppy. He was generally the one being called cute by the old ladies and street vendors they walked past. This was a first for Jinho specifically to be called cute by another guy.

“Ah, I see.” Hongseok nodded and let go of Jinho’s hand. “So what’s your major?” He asked as he opened the washer door beside the one Jinho was using and started filling it with laundry. Jinho let out a sigh of relief as the subject changed, letting himself lean against the washers.

“Music composition and production. Fourth year. What about you?” Hongseok looked surprised at his answer.

“Wow! A fourth year? I can only imagine how stressed you are! I’m a third year in sports medicine, specifically studying to go into physical therapy.” He replied, stuffing one last sweater into the washer before closing it. 

“Physical therapy? I don’t hear that very often. Honestly I forget we’re a pretty renowned medical school.” Jinho scratched at the back of his head with an awkward laugh. Hongseok smiled and carefully poured in the detergent. 

“I don’t hear about people studying music composition too often either. All my friends are studying to go into some form of medical field. Is the program any good? I’m never on that side of campus.” He asked as he slid a few coins into the slot and turned the knob. The washer buzzed as it started up, stealing Jinho’s attention for a couple seconds.

“It’s not bad. There’s only a few of us in the major though, so we’re a pretty small class. Everybody knows each other. It’s nice. There’s more people studying vocal music or performance. Those classes are pretty big for the first year, but drop down to about a third by the end of the second year. They’re still bigger than us even then.” He explained, thinking about how many people Hyunggu had said were in his dance class. Too many is what Jinho had thought.

“Oh wow. That does sound pretty nice. There’s so many people in the medical majors... I only know my friends because we were in the same orientation group. There’s so many students that I struggle just with remembering names.” He said with raised eyebrows as he hopped up onto the dryers behind them. He patted the spot next to him, welcoming Jinho to sit with him. There were plenty of dryers that the other patrons could reach since they weren’t stacked like washers, so he didn’t feel too bad sitting on one. With a grunt, he heaved himself onto it. He heard Hongseok let out a quiet laugh at his struggle. He shot him a half hearted glare. It didn’t take long for them to get locked in conversation.

Turns out they both had very similar taste in music. Hongseok had agreed that there really wasn’t a language barrier as long as the music was enjoyable. He seemed very passionate about the subject. Jinho loved it. They carried on just about one British band for two whole loads of laundry, washed and dried. That somehow brought them around to different languages and Jinho was surprised to learn Hongseok already spoke two fluently and was learning two more. He was humble about his skill, but eventually admitted he could speak them all at least at a basic conversational level. Jinho was pretty confident in his English, so he thought it was interesting to be able to talk with someone who was actually fluent. 

Hongseok also had a love for cooking. All the different recipes he listed off as his favorite nearly had Jinho drooling. The taller man laughed when Jinho’s stomach growled especially loud after he described a foreign dish he’d tried to make over the weekend. Jinho thanked him as he offered to share some of the snacks he had packed. He held back a giggle at how much his lunchbox and system of packing it perfectly full resembled how his mom did it back when he was in primary school.

Even though his last load had finished an hour ago, Hongseok had offered to stay to help Jinho reach the washer controls for his last load. Jinho was thankful he’d run into and befriended an absolute angel. After his last load got thrown into the dryer, they made plans to meet up again so Jinho could return Hongseok’s shirt. The plan was just to meet back at the laundromat and Jinho would return the shirt after it was washed and dried. Simple enough. So long as he remembered to not wear the shirt that day, especially since he hadn’t washed it during this trip. Hongseok offered his phone to enter his phone number, just in case something came up and they couldn’t meet. Jinho easily agreed and typed it in, sending himself a text so he could save the number. He even put a shirt emoji next to Hongseok’s name to reinforce the reason for their meeting so he wouldn’t forget.

 

______

 

“I found the owner.” Jinho said as Hyunggu burst through the front door. He came bounding over beside his spot in front of the stove in excitement.

“You did? What was he like? How big was he? Like really tall? Really wide? Both? That shirt’s huge, so he had to be big. How come you’re still wearing it?” His questions came out rapid fire. Jinho let him finish before even attempting to reply.

“He was really nice. He helped me reach the knobs on the washers since only the top row ones were open. So he was tall. My face literally came to his chest. He was muscular, not wide. Just tall. He said that the shirt was even sort of loose on him. He goes to school at the university. He’s a third year studying to become a physical therapist. I’m meeting with him soon to return the shirt.” Jinho answered as he stirred the ramen in the pot on the stove. Hyunggu eyed it from where he was hovering. The older rolled his eyes. “You can have some when it’s done.”

Hyunggu twirled and dramatically threw a fist into the air in victory. “Thank you, Jinho!” He gave Jinho a quick peck on the cheek and ran back to his room. Jinho yelled at him for kissing him, after they’d talked about it not being allowed. Hyunggu was just too affectionate for his own good. He loved anyone and everyone, and it didn’t help that he switched between cute innocent puppy mode to flirting with anything that moves in a matter of seconds. He was the only child of some very close family friends and was practically his own brother with the amount of time they spent together growing up. Promising to room with him and watch over him during his freshman year of college was slowly revealing itself to be a mistake. Hyunggu had drug him outside at every ungodly hour to do anything and everything, kept him awake most nights with his rants and emotional stories, and made him worried sick when he didn’t come home for two days after a party. But he also came into his room in the mornings and curled up beside him so he’d be warm when he had to get up for class, stayed up all night with him in the studios, keeping him company and making sure he ate and stayed hydrated when he had a major deadline the next day. He was a good kid and took just as much care of him as Jinho did to Hyunggu.

Once the ramen was done, Hyunggu appeared out of nowhere, as if just the sound of the lid being lifted off the pot was enough to summon him. He ate happily and spilled every little detail about his first day of classes to the older. He’d already made a friend in his literature class and made plans to go out to dinner with the rest of the freshman dance majors so they could get to know each other better. Jinho was happy everything was going well. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about this kid as much as he thought.

______

That next week, Jinho arrived at the laundromat as promised, this time with not nearly as much laundry as last time. It was drizzling outside, but he’d brought the small hamper he could carry with one arm and fit both it and himself under an umbrella. The soccer moms weren’t there, thank goodness. It was surprisingly empty today compared to last week, but he guessed it was because most people don’t do laundry on Mondays and that the cold and rain could scare some away. Hongseok was sitting at the bench by the windows with a text book open beside him scratching notes down in the notebook resting on his thigh. Jinho was surprised to see him in glasses, he didn’t seem to be the type to need them. They were the kind with the thick top half rim and horns off the side. A classic, professional yet nerdy look that complimented his face. It really made him look like a student Jinho thought. He walked over to him and gently tapped his foot against Hongseok’s leg. He lifted his head and smiled at the sight of Jinho. 

“Hey there! How’ve you been?” Hongseok asked as he stuck his pen in his notebook and closed it to give the other his full attention. He closed it inside of his textbook and moved it to make room for Jinho on the bench. 

“Pretty good. It’s still early in the semester, so it’s not too crazy just yet. What about you?” Jinho responded with a smile as he sat his basket next to the bench and took a seat. 

“Ah, we have our first quiz on Thursday so I’ve been studying like crazy. Fortunately it’s just to review the stuff we covered last semester. Our majors must be a bit different if they’re still going easy on you this far in.” Hongseok admitted, scratching at the back of his head with a laugh. 

“I’m so sorry for you.” Jinho offered, he felt bad for not being as stressed at the beginning of the semester as this poor med student. “What are you guys reviewing?” He shifted in his seat so he could cross his legs.

“Oh goodness... what aren’t we reviewing?” Hongseok furrowed his brows and rubbed at his chin. “Well, the main thing we’re reviewing is different ways nerves can be damaged and what we as physical therapists can do to help after patients go through initial treatment. I was going through the different things that can happen to nerves along the spine when you came in.” Hongseok leaned back, supporting himself with his hands planted on the bench behind him. The light made his smooth tan skin glow, Jinho suddenly felt jealous he didn’t take better care of his skin. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know what to do about pinched nerves in someone’s neck would you?” Jinho joked, thinking about his upcoming long nights hunched over the soundboards in the studio. Hongseok chewed on his bottom lip and lifted his gaze to the ceiling.

“There’s not much I can do since I’m not licensed yet, but I could probably give you a massage? That should help loosen you up and make the muscles in your neck less tense.” Jinho sputtered at Hongeok’s offer. He wasn’t expecting an answer nor a free neck massage. When he turned back to Hongseok, the look on his face was completely serious. He was really, truly offering a free neck massage.

“I wasn’t expecting an answer like that, but I can’t say I’d argue against a free massage.” Jinho told him, still a bit flustered. Hongseok quickly looked away when he felt his cheeks burn, realizing his offer may have come a bit too quickly. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I can’t do it this week because of the quiz, but if you want one after Thursday you can just text me and let me know.” Hongseok hesitantly explained. “I’m free any day except in the mornings for classes and Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 to 8:00. So I guess just any other time besides then, you can just let me know.” He rambled on, feeling himself just get more flustered as he continued.

“Thanks for the offer. I might take you up on it next week. I’ll probably be in the studio all weekend and need it after being hunched over for 48 hours.” Jinho laughed to lighten the mood. It was amusing when Hongseok got embarrassed he decided. “Well, I should probably get the load in so I can get you your shirt back.” He stood up and kicked his basket over to the nearest washer. He heard Hongseok exhale in relief behind him. A smile stretched across his face as he loaded up the machine and turned it on without needing assistance. 

He and Hongseok chatted as they waited for their laundry, about anything and everything that came to mind. At some point, Jinho ended up quizzing Hongseok on the flash cards he’d written out. Jinho had no idea how his handwriting could be so nice, he was used to medical professionals having completely illegible handwriting. Most of the topics were completely foreign to him and he was sure he butchered a few names of muscles and nerves, but Hongseok still answered them all correctly. After a few rounds of flash cards, Hongseok brought up a cafe down the block. He talked about how huge the salads were and the soups filled to the brim with vegetables and meat. The kind with sausage and carrots made Jinho’s stomach growl.

“I could walk you there if you wanted? It’s not far. We could grab lunch after your load is dry.” Hongseok suggested, pushing up his glasses to rub at the small indentions left on the bridge of his nose. Jinho looked at the rumbling dryer.

“What would I do with my laundry?” He couldn’t just bring it into a restaurant with him and he was too paranoid to just leave it here.

“If you’d be okay with it, you can just leave it in my car and pick it up after we eat.” Jinho turned to Hongseok in surprise. It always surprised him when people could afford to have cars in college. It also surprised him people had the time to get their license. He personally, had yet to get his. Driving was just as intimidating as the combined price of a car, insurance, and gas was.

“That’d be great actually.” And maybe this way he wouldn’t forget to return the shirt.  


 

______

 

Jinho hadn’t intended to talk to Hongseok at the cafe for two hours, but there he was, sitting by the window as the sun went down and turned the rain gold, still chattering away. Hongseok was incredibly easy to talk to, and even after just meeting twice, Jinho found his company warm and comfortable. He was enjoying all the fun stories Hongseok shared about his roommates. They were the friends he had made freshman year and decided to room with for the past two years, Changgu and Yan An. Changgu was studying psychology and Yan An was studying to become a doctor specialized in head and neck surgery. They had just recently started dating after Hongseok had forced them to confess the feelings they’d had for each other since the first month they had known each other. Jinho didn’t see how Hongseok put up with the stress of rooming with two people with painfully obvious crushes on each other that didn’t do anything about it for two and a half years. He was thankful Hyunggu was so straightforward when in came to his love interests. 

“Dating is so stressful, but they both seem so happy now. They’re much less stressed than before they started dating at least.” Hongseok sighed. “But they’re so... clingy. And touchy-feely. It’s hard to stay in the apartment when they’re both home.” He scrunched his face up in mild disgust. Jinho laughed at his expression. 

“I’m glad my roommate hasn’t had a stable relationship long enough to do that sort of thing in front of me.” Thank goodness Hyunggu wasn’t looking for any long term relationships anytime soon. He might gag if he ever sees him being all disgustingly cute and domestic with someone.

“Are they having a rough time finding someone?” Hongseok asked, a sympathetic look on his face.

“O-oh no, he just doesn’t want to be with the same person for long periods of time right now.” Jinho waved his hands in an attempt to clarify. “He’s just having fun, he doesn’t really want to date.” Hongseok let out a soft, understanding “Ah” in response.

“What about you, then? You have to put up with him bringing random people home, I’m sure.” Jinho pursed his lips at Hongseok’s question.

“He never brings them home when I’m there. Sometimes I’ll come home early in the morning after spending a night in the studio just to be greeted by a stranger in their underwear drinking milk straight from the jug or something, but I’m luckily never around to see or hear what they were doing.” Jinho shuddered at the idea of hearing someone who’s practically his little brother sinning in the room next to his. Hongseok gave a sympathetic chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best you aren’t home.” He rested his chin in his hand and stretched his lips into a sorry, knowing smile. 

“Oh god, do... do you have to put up with... _That_ on a regular basis?” Jinho lowered his voice. Hongseok’s face burned and he avoided Jinho’s eyes. Jinho gasped and covered his mouth when Hongseok replied with a timid nod. “I’m so sorry.”

“I-I mean there’s not much I can do, they usually don’t know I’m home or don’t hear me come in when it’s happening.” Hongseok said in an attempt to defend his friends. “I walked in on them in the living room once, though. I still can’t bring myself to sit on the couch. I don’t think they saw me before I bolted back out the door.” Hongseok cupped his hands with his cheeks, trying to cool them down with his hands that were cold from holding his ice filled glass. Jinho gaped at the taller’s dilemma.

“I love my friends, I really do, but I regret setting them up sometimes.” He admitted, then paused, eyes going wide. He squished his hands further into his cheeks. “Oh god. Valentine’s Day is soon. It’s the day before we have a lab. I’m going to be so tired.” He stared wide eyed at the wooden table in realization. 

“Dude. You’re screwed.” Jinho told him before taking a drink of his coffee. Hongseok lifted his head with a look of desperation in his eyes.

“You gotta help me, the teacher will kill me if I’m nodding off in the lab.” He begged, suddenly grabbing onto Jinho’s hands and holding them tightly. Jinho jerked a bit at the sudden contact as it caught him off guard.

“Uh... you... you could stay at my place if you wanted? Just so you’d actually be able to sleep without hearing those two being romantic?” Jinho hesitantly offered. Hongseok’s face lit up. 

“I can give you that free massage in exchange!” He exclaimed, squeezing Jinho’s hands even tighter.

“Uh... Yeah. Sure.” He just technically invited a stranger to his house out of pity. What happened to his better judgement? It flew out the window as soon as he thought about what it would be like to be kept awake by Hyunggu moaning all night long in the room beside him, that’s what.

 

______

 

It still felt a little surreal when Jinho heard a knock on his door at exactly 8:30 pm. It was Wednesday, Valentine’s Day, and Hongseok was standing outside of his apartment. He came to have a quiet place to study and sleep for the night knowing his roommates would be... enjoying each other’s company a little too much tonight. Jinho still couldn’t believe he was letting a man he’d talked to in person only twice into his home. Given they’d talked many times through text since their last meeting, but he still didn’t consider himself close to him just yet. When he unlocked and opened the door, he was met with a brightly smiling Hongseok carrying what appeared to be an industrial sized lunchbox. Jinho raised an eyebrow as he stared at the ridiculously large bag.

“I brought dinner, as a thank you.” Hongseok explained and adjusted his glasses. “Can I come in?”

“Oh. O-oh yeah, here let me move out of your way.” Jinho stuttered and scooted next to the wall to hold the door open. Hongseok moved out of the way to let Jinho shut the door behind him and bent down to place the bag on the ground so he could take off his shoes.

“I’ll bring this to the kitchen, it’s just down this hall.” Jinho told him before picking up the bag. He grunted as he discovered it was much, much heavier than Hongseok had made it seem. He struggled to lift it up into his arms.

“I can get it if it’s too heavy, I had to use some of my ceramic bowls to hold the warmer stuff.” Hongseok said, holding back a laugh at Jinho’s efforts.

“No no I can get it. I just. Gotta. Oof. Get a good. Grip on it.” Jinho replied between grunts. Eventually, he got the bag positioned into his arms in a way that he was confident he wouldn’t drop it. Slowly but surely, he made his way into the kitchen, Hongseok trailing after him. It took him the same amount of time to pick up the bag as it had taken Hongseok to take his time to untie the laces on his boots and pull them off. He should have just let Hongseok carry the heavy bag, he could feel sweat already threatening to roll down his back. He let out a loud breath as he plopped it onto the kitchen counter.

“Whew! That must be a lot of food. You really didn’t need to bring anything.” Jinho told him, still trying to catch his breath. Since when did he get so unfit?

“It’s no trouble, it’s only fair of me to at least provide food in exchange for you letting me sleep here. It makes life easier for the host.” The way Hongseok responded sounded like he was reciting a line from a book about proper house guest etiquette and Jinho couldn’t help but laugh.

“I think Hyunggu is going to be out for most of the night. I think the dance club was holding some sort of Valentine’s party. So if you hear someone come in pretty late, it’s just him. I already let him know a friend was staying so he wouldn’t freak out if he saw someone sleeping on the couch.” Jinho went on as he slid the bag towards Hongseok.

“Ah, Okay.” The taller unzipped the bag and started pulling out one container after the other. Jinho couldn’t help but watch in awe at the endless amount of food he had brought. There were at least two main dishes and every side dish he thought he’d seen in his lifetime. 

“These need to go in the fridge, but these three still need to cool a little longer.” Hongseok said as he divided up the containers. When he lifted his gaze back to Jinho, the smaller was still staring in shock.

“Did you seriously make all of this?” He gaped in disbelief. 

“Yes, I made the pickled radish and kimchi last weekend and the gamjajeon just the other day, so I had a few leftovers. The rice is fresh from this morning and I made the soup and cooked the pork belly and vegetables before I came.” Hongseok told him like it was an everyday occurrence to cook this much. Jinho just blinked at him in silence. He was almost upset he’d eaten not that long ago. It may have just been cereal, since he was in desperate need to go grocery shopping, but it had still been enough to satisfy his stomach.

“So... can we put these in the fridge before they go bad?” Hongseok continued.

“Oh, yeah sorry.” Jinho snapped out of his awe and moved the designated containers to the pitifully empty fridge. Hongseok handed them to him one by one. He wasn’t going to say it out loud, but he hoped this became a regular thing because seeing his fridge this full was absolutely incredible. He’d have to ask for cooking lessons from Hongseok at some point, if he got used to eating like this before he graduated without learning to cook any of it, he was going to be screwed. 

“You can eat whenever you’d like. I ate before I came. So I’ll probably hold out for a little while longer.” Hongseok said as he folded up the large bag. He slid his backpack off his shoulders and onto the counter. “Is it okay if I just work here?” 

“Yeah, make yourself comfortable. The chairs can get a little painful after a while though, so feel free to just grab a pillow off the couch to put behind your back.” Jinho told him. He watched as he unzipped his bag and pulled out a laptop, two textbooks, and a notebook and pen. He settled down into the chair and sat his backpack in the other beside him. He already seemed so comfortable as he started organizing his set up. With minor adjustments here and there, he had both textbooks open to a page on similar topics, his laptop beside them at a slight angle to make it easier to see the screen, and his notebook right in front of him. “Well I’ll... just let you work, if you need me I’m in the first room on the left down the hall.”

He got a quick thumbs up from Hongseok as he started scribbling down notes. Jinho padded down the hall, turning back to look at Hongseok before entering his room. Should he be leaving this stranger unattended in his kitchen? It’s not like they had anything worth stealing, but that was where they kept the largest collection of sharp objects. The tall man currently hunched over textbooks at his counter didn’t seem the type to secretly be a murderer, but Jinho’s instincts automatically pegged any tall, muscular person as a potential murderer. He was a studious, dorky, potential murderer. 

Pushing that thought to the side, he did his best to concentrate on the art history homework he put off until last minute. The fact that all the vocal and music classes he had taken didn’t count towards his humanities credit made him irritable. Even more so since the counselors hadn’t bothered to tell him until his last semester of his fourth year. No offense, or actually, scratch that, _full offense_ to art historians, but not everything is about dicks. Even as a male himself, Jinho can easily say, the world doesn’t need to revolve around phallic imagery, but apparently all the artistic masters thought it did. It didn’t help that when they actually bothered to paint women, the anatomy was absolutely horrendous. He’d had enough experience to say most women were not naturally shaped quite like the ones they were studying this chapter. 

After an hour of trying to focus and failing, Jinho let his mind wander off for a little while. Here he was critiquing the paintings considered genius and classics for their poor depictions of women when he could even remember the last time he’d been with a woman. Two years? Three? That last date ended pretty badly, so he hadn’t wanted to jump into anything new a long while afterwards. But he was recently missing that type of affection. Maybe he should try stepping back into the dating pool instead of continuing his life as a bachelor wallowing in his hermitage. With a sigh, he let his head plop onto his notebook. Maybe a quick nap would clear his thoughts.

______

“Hey, Jinho? Do- Oh. Were you asleep?” Jinho blinked blearily at the figure standing in his doorway. He squinted until he could just barely make out Hongseok’s distinct eye shape.

“Mm... was I?” Hongseok gave him and amused smile as he rubbed at his eyes and stretched with a satisfied sigh. “What’d you need?”

“It’s been a while so I thought you might be getting hungry.” The taller responded as he leaned against the doorway. Jinho noticed the muscles in his arms bulge as he crossed his arms over his chest. His quest was no longer wearing the jacket he arrived in and Jinho wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed at how fit he was or to be impressed. Jinho tore his eyes away to look at the clock on his desk. The red led numbers informed him it was nearly 11 pm.

“Oh man, I didn’t mean to sleep that long.” The statement made Hongseok laugh a full, hearty laugh.

“I could have woken you up if you’d asked.” He offered, wiping at the tears in the corners of his eyes. “So, you hungry?” His mouth stretched into a crooked smile as he tried to hold back his laughter.

“I could go for some food.” Jinho answered and slid out of his chair with another long stretch. He followed Hongseok back out into the kitchen and started to pull the containers out of the fridge. As he placed them on the counter, Hongseok popped the lids off and sorted out what was fine left cold and what needed to be reheated. Jinho popped a couple containers into the microwave and typed in a loosely estimated time. He instructed Hongseok to retrieve a couple plates and silverware from the cabinets and drawers. He found them easily and set the dishes up on the counter with a comfortable smile. Jinho scooped out equal portions onto both of their plates once everything was warm enough to serve. Steam rose from the delicious meal in front of him.

“Do you want something to drink? I probably should have asked earlier.” Jinho turned his head to meet Hongseok’s eyes as he grabbed two cups from the cabinet. 

“Ah it’s okay, I remembered to bring my water bottle. But would you mind if I just refilled it?” He lifted his bottle off the counter and shook it, showcasing the fact that it was completely empty. 

“Oh yeah, I think we have enough water in the pitcher.” He pulled a large pitcher with a filter attached to the lid out of the fridge and slid it across the counter. There was just enough to fill the water bottle and his cup. Once they were both settled, Jinho thanked Hongseok for the meal sand dug in. Everything was just as wonderful as it smelled. He couldn’t hold back the hums of delight after he took a large bite of the pork belly. Hongseok smiled at him over a spoonful of rice. Jinho’s face scrunched up in satisfaction after each bite. He really, really hoped he’d get to eat a meal this good once more before he died.

“I take it you approve of my cooking?” Hongseok mused as Jinho practically started crying over one of the side dishes. He looked up at him with his cheeks stuffed full and gave a passionate nod.

“It’s sooooooooo good. How did you learn to cook like this?” The shorter man whined. Hongseok furrowed his brows with a flattered smile. 

“I just started by watching videos and looking up recipes. You get pretty good at it after a while.” He laughed, his proud smile not once leaving his face. Jinho narrowed his eyes at him in suspicion. He must have been cooking for years to be this good. Just cooking for “a while” doesn’t make you this good. “That and my dad’s cooking was horrible and I couldn’t take it anymore.” He eventually admitted. Jinho’s lips stretched into a playful grin at that. He knew there was something being left out of that answer. 

They finished the meal in comfortable silence. Chopsticks clinked against Jinho’s plate as he accepted defeat. He stretched his arms high up over his head and a loud crack came from his shoulder.

“Ah....” He crumpled back down and rubbed at his stinging joint. He really shouldn’t take naps at his desk anymore.

“Would you want that free massage now? You sound like you might need it.” Hongseok asked with his chin resting in his hand. With eyes scrunched shut, Jinho nodded pitifully. Hongseok looked around and made a little noise when he got an idea. “Why don’t we go to the living room? You can sit on the edge of the couch while I knead your shoulders.” 

“Okay.” Jinho trailed after him, still cradling his sore shoulder. Hongseok scooted all the way back into the cushion and patted at the open space between his legs. Jinho looked at him with an uneasy expression.

“C’mon, do you want the massage or not? This is the easiest way to do it since we don’t have a table big enough or soft enough for you to lay down on.” Hongseok reasoned. Jinho pouted his lips and took a seat between Hongseok’s long legs. He felt the taller man shift behind him and then a set of strong hands on his shoulders. It took a few moments, but once Jinho got used to the gentle pressure of Hongseok’s fingers through his thin sweatshirt, he felt himself start to relax. All the tension in his upper back slowly melted away. A pair of thumbs pressed into the tight muscles between his shoulder blades and moved in gentle circles up to the space on either side of his neck. 

“Oh god, that feels great.” Jinho groaned. His neck had been sore for three days and the rhythm of Hongseok’s hand pressing into his skin felt heavenly. “Right there.” 

“I’m not being to rough, am I?” Hongseok asked in a worried tone.

“No, no not at all.” Jinho felt a sigh escape his lungs. “Please do it harder, I’ll be okay.” 

“Alright.” Hongseok cocked his head and shifted a bit closer, angling his hands a bit higher. He kneaded into Jinho’s upper back with more strength, feeling the muscles loosen up under his touch. He pressed his thumbs into his back, just below his shoulder blades harder than before.

“Ah! Shit!” Jinho hissed. He wasn’t sure what just completely uncoiled out of the high-strung muscles along his back, but it was such a satisfying feeling he couldn’t bite back the profanity.

“Did I press to hard?” Hongseok panicked behind him.

“That just felt really, really good. It didn’t hurt.” Jinho reassured him and pleaded with his eyes for him to continue. Hongseok pulled his lips into a thin line and continued as instructed. Jinho got more vocal as Hongseok kneaded all the right spots. He couldn’t see the way Hongseok’s cheeks burned at all of the noises he was making.

Suddenly, the front door slammed open. Jinho and Hongseok both simultaneously turned their heads in confusion. Hyunggu stood in the doorway with a puzzled look on his face. Jinho blinked at him in confusion. The younger opened his mouth and shut it a few times, struggling to find the words.

“U-um... hello! I’m Hongseok, you must be Hyunggu.” Hongseok cut in to the awkward silence. He took his hands off the smaller man’s shoulders and fidgeted with his shirt collar, unsure what to do with them. Hyunggu furrowed his brows and gave a slight bow towards the man sitting behind Jinho on the couch.

“Hello... yes, I’m Hyunggu.” He flicked his eyes between the two men. Jinho’s expression came of as mildly annoyed, while Hongseok’s seemed frightened and distressed. “Did I... Uh... interrupt something? I heard... Uh... a lot of noise outside the door...” Jinho pursed his lips and suddenly avoided his roommate’s gaze, realizing he must have been louder than he thought. 

“I had offered to give Jinho a massage in return for letting me stay here.” Hongseok quickly answered. Jinho nodded towards his roommate.

“So you were just...” Hyunggu pointed a finger between the two. Hongseok kneaded Jinho’s shoulders once to demonstrate. 

“Just a back massage.” He told him once more.

“So you weren’t...” Jinho’s entire face flushed as Hyunggu made a lewd gesture to finish his question.

“No!” The two men cried out in surprise. Jinho looked back at Hongseok, who looked just as flustered as he was. Hyunggu let out a sigh of relief and rested his hands on his knees.

“I was so confused when I heard you through the door. I thought you’d had a change of mind and decided you were tired of being straight.” Hyunggu confessed. “It’s such a relief that wasn’t the case, I might have gagged if I walked in on you doing it with anyone, especially another man.” Jinho jolted to his feet, fists balled at his sides and face glowing red. Hongseok covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. 

“Yes, I’m still straight. Why are you home so early? I thought you had a party?” Jinho turned the interrogation towards the younger man. He replied with an incredulous gasp.

“How mean, are you not happy to see your honorary little brother?” He placed a hand on his chest dramatically.

“Not at this moment, no.”

“Well then. I just came back to get a spare change of clothes. A hot contemporary dance major offered to take me back to his apartment for the night. I didn’t want to wear the same clothes two days in a row.” Hyunggu huffed. “And just so you know, it’s already past 12 am. I figured you’d be asleep already, old man.”

Jinho frowned at Hyunggu’s explanation and rude remark. “Don’t you have an 8am tomorrow?”

“Yeah, and I’ll regret my decisions in the morning. I’ll deal with the consequences when they come, but right now I wanna get back downstairs and into the car. I’m not gonna pass up that fine ass because of some morning class.” Hyunggu waved him off as he hurried down the hallway. Jinho crossed his arms in disapproval. Hongseok lowered his hands and watched as Hyunggu practically came skipping back out into the living room with a bag slung over one shoulder.

“I’ll text you periodically so you know I’m safe, _mom_. I might even be able to record it with permission if you really want proof I’m using protection.” Jinho rolled his eyes at the suggestive wink Hyunggu gave him.

“Just get out of this apartment already or I’ll tell your parents exactly what you’re doing tonight.” Jinho’s voice was firm. Fear washed over Hyunggu’s face and he bowed deeply before bolting out the door. Jinho let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed onto the couch beside Hongseok. He drug his hands down his face and turned to the other man.

“I’m sorry that had to be your first impression of my roommate. I promise he’s a good kid, he’s just... a bit.. curious.” Hongseok’s cheeks were still dusted with a fine shade of pink. He rubbed at his neck and nodded in understanding.

“So uh, you think he’ll be okay?” He asked, seemingly concerned.

“He’s good about judging unsafe situations. If he gets into any trouble he knows to call me.” Jinho stared up at the ceiling. 

“Ah. That’s good.” The taller man fiddled with his hands. A few minutes of silence passed before Hongseok spoke up again. “I.. um... think I’m going to try to get some sleep. So I don’t doze off in the lab tomorrow.” He shifted on the couch and gave Jinho an uneasy look. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll go get a pillow and some blankets. If you want to brush your teeth or change, the bathroom is right across from my room. I should have mentioned where it was earlier.” Jinho replied, prying himself off the couch. Hongseok grabbed his backpack and trailed after him, thanking him once again for letting him stay for nearly the hundredth time. They split off and Jinho went to his room to search for blankets and Hongseok disappeared into the bathroom. The smaller man rummaged through the plastic bins shoved under his bed filled with spare sheets. He pulled out a heavy comforter and a soft, fuzzy throw blanket, hoping it would be enough. Before leaving the room, he grabbed one of the spare pillows at the end of his bed and stuffed it into the bundle. 

He heard the faucet running as he passed the bathroom. As best as he could, he set up the couch so it would be suitable to sleep on. Fortunately, Jinho’s parents had very kindly donated their plush couch to him when they moved to a smaller house. He’d slept on it plenty of times without waking up stiff and groggy, so he hoped Hongseok would feel the same. Humming along to one of the many catchy songs Hui had introduced him to, he straightened out the blankets and fluffed up the pillow. It looked inviting enough for him to sleep there himself. He thought about offering his own bed to Hongseok in exchange for the couch, but figured that was weird and quickly threw away the thought.

Hongseok padded down the hall and back into the living room, pulling the hem of his shirt down over the waistband of his flannel pajama pants. When he looked up from zipping up his bag, he was met with a friendly smile from Jinho. The smaller man threw out his arms with a cute little “tadaah!” that made Hongseok snort. He covered his mouth with his hand at the ugly laugh the childish gesture forced out of him. Jinho sputtered and joined in the laughter. He was happy his antics had managed to make the atmosphere comfortable again.

“Thanks for setting up the couch.” Hongseok breathed as he took in the unnecessarily tucked and folded blankets. He sat his bag down by the armrest and stretched his arms over his head. His toned stomach barely peeked out beneath the hem of his worn T-shirt. It had a faded design featuring a cartoony dog across the chest that almost made Jinho cringe. He wondered if Hongseok bought all of his T-shirt’s at the thrift store or if his taste really was that tacky. “It looks super comfy.”

“I can assure you that it’s better than my bed some nights.” Jinho told him with a laugh. Hongseok smiled and rubbed at his eyes beneath his glasses. The frames pushed his bangs up a little, flipping the edges up into little horns. Jinho walked over to the other side of the living room and flicked off the lamp. The light filtering in from the kitchen still dimly lit the room. 

“Ugh, I’m beat. Thanks again for what is probably the millionth time tonight.” Hongseok yawned. “I really appreciate it.” He pulled back the blankets and sat his phone on the coffee table after he checked to make sure his alarm was set. 

“It’s no problem. If you need anything you know where to find me. I’ll still be up for a little while longer, since I took a nap instead of finishing that paper I need to write...” Jinho gritted his teeth at the realization. 

“Okay, Goodnight Jinho.” Hongseok smiled.

“Goodnight.” Jinho gave him a small wave before walking back into the kitchen and turning off the light. He heard Hongseok’s glasses clink against the glass top of the coffee table and the couch creak as he settled in. Jinho chuckled quietly to himself over the fact that earlier he thought this man on his couch was possibly a serial killer. If he was anything, he was just a really ripped mother figure. Definitely not a murderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	2. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It didn’t take long for Jinho to realize Hongseok had become an important part of his life. A close friend he never knew he needed. He brings plenty of interesting surprises into Jinho’s life each day, and he couldn’t be more thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this and then vanished. I... lost something important to me and it took me while to feel like doing anything at all. It was hard to get out of bed, let alone write, so I hope you can all forgive me.
> 
> Because of that, I know this chapter isn’t my best... and there’s a clear change in the writing quality after the incident happened. I promise to do better next time.

“Hongseokkie!” Hyunggu exclaimed as he all but jumped into the older man’s arms as soon as he walked through the door. Hongseok let out a gasp of surprise, but still managed to catch the boy perfectly, even with the grocery bags still hanging from his arms. Jinho snorted behind them and shoved his way into the apartment, bags rattling as he tried not to smash the fruit into the doorway.

“Glad to see you too, Hyunggu. I definitely feel loved.” Jinho rolled his eyes as he kicked off his shoes. He felt a sudden weight on his back as Hyunggu latched onto him from behind.

“I couldn’t see you behind Hongseok I’m sorry, Jinho.” Hyunggu said with his bottom lip sticking out into a pout, giving the older his best puppy eyes. Jinho pushed Hyunggu’s face away with a laugh. The younger pulled bacj with a bright grin. Hongseok just watched with an amused look on his face as he unlaced his boots.

“You hungry, kiddo?” Hongseok asked as he passed by Hyunggu on his way to the kitchen, already very familiar with its location. The boy clapped his hands in excitement and nodded happily. He trailed after him down the hall. Jinho followed the two at a comfortable pace, knowing Hongseok still had to set up before he needed any of the ingredients he was carrying. When he arrived, Hyunggu was already pestering him about tonight’s menu. 

“Main course is going to be sundubu jjigae, so I hope you like things that are kind of spicy. I’m gonna make some braised potatoes and a nice bean sprout and spinach salad too. Jinho promised to take care of the rice and some shrimp pancakes.” Hongseok told him as Jinho entered the room. Jinho shot him a warm smile and sat the bags on the counter. He started pulling out the vegetables and fruits and sorted out what was going to be used and what he could put in the fridge for later. Hongseok did the same with the ingredients for the soup. Hyunggu helped by pulling out the proper pots and pans and setting them on the stove top. 

Cooking at Jinho and Hyunggu’s apartment had slowly become a whole family affair. When Hongseok came over, Jinho and Hyunggu became his assistant chefs, setting up the kitchen, washing and peeling vegetables, handing him proper utensils, and other simple tasks that take time and prolong the cooking process. It was nice, really. Jinho couldn’t explain how it became so comfortable and natural, but it did. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure he’d have it any other way. 

The kitchen filled with mouth watering aromas as Hongseok stirred the soup. Jinho chopped up an excess of green onions and cleaned the shrimp, knowing the extras would all end up in the soup. Hyunggu, having no menial tasks left to fulfill, sat at the counter and watched, hungrily. Jinho made the batter and combined all the other ingredients before dropping half cups worth of the mixture into the hot pan. It sizzled loudly as the pancakes quickly fried. Hongseok moved the pot onto the back burner to simmer and quickly started chopping up potatoes to braise. He coated them in a mixture of spices and sauces, turning them a rusty red color before rejoining Jinho at the stove. Neither flinched away when their arms brushed as they cooked. It was comfortable. Warm. Familiar. 

“Hey, Hyunggu? Would you mind washing the spinach and bean sprouts for me?” Hongseok asked over his shoulder. The boy lit up at the request, fervently nodding and hopping out of his chair. He hummed happily as he rinsed the vegetables and drained them in the colander to get rid of the excess water. Hongseok smiled and stirred the potatoes around the pan. Jinho finished the last pancake and stacked it onto the plate filled with the others. He carried it over to the counter and placed a large bowl over it to keep them warm. Hongseok scraped the potatoes into a bowl and handed them to the shorter man to join the pancakes on the counter. After removing the pan, he moved the pot back to the front burner and stirred it a few times. He let out a happy hum after checking the taste.

“Soup’s nearly there. Can you hand me the spinach?” Hongseok asked as he moved to the pan Jinho had been using. Why dirty another pan when it was all going to the same place anyway? Hyunggu handed him the spinach happily. Carefully, Hongseok poured the spinach into the pan on a low heat, stirring it until it was slightly wilted. He turned off the stove top and moved the spinach to an empty bowl, pouring in a teaspoon of a couple different sauces and tossing in the bean sprouts and toasted sesame seeds. Jinho took the bowl and placed it beside the other dishes once Hongseok finished. Hyunggu pulled a metal rack out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter, so they could safely place the pot on it without worry of damaging it.

Hongseok hefted the heavy pot over to the rest of the food with two thick pot holders wrapped around the handles. Hyunggu brought out three bowls and plates and sat out the silverware for everyone. Jinho brought over the rice and pulled the kids and coverings off of the dishes. The meal looked and smelled incredible. It was clear that they were all very ready to dig in by the speed at which they took their seats. 

“Thank you for the meal!” Hyunggu exclaimed with his hands clasped together and quickly bowing his head in Hongseok’s direction. 

“I’ll eat well~” Jinho chimed in and picked up his bowl to fill with soup. Everyone ladled the soup into their bowls until they were filled to the brim. Hongseok’s pleased smile stretched wide across his face as he picked up his chopsticks. Hyunggu snagged the first shrimp pancake as the taller man reached for it. The cheeky grin shot in his direction made it clear that it was part of Hyunggu’s teasing. Hongseok wrinkled his nose at him, never losing his smile. 

They ate in comfortable silence as they enjoyed the meal. Occasional hums of delight could be heard through mouthfuls of food. Spoons and chopsticks clinked against the dishes until the three sat back in defeat. They managed to make it through the majority of the soup, but not all of it. Jinho eyed it carefully as he plotted to make that last serving his lunch tomorrow. 

“Your cooking is so amazing.” Hyunggu stated, staring at Hongseok like he was an angel. He chuckled at Hyunggu’s compliment.

“Thank you, you tell me that after every meal.” The taller man couldn’t hold back his smile at the flattery. Jinho couldn’t stop the upward quirk of his lips either. Hongseok’s smile was contagious. 

“Because I cant let you forget it! I really mean it! You’re incredible! I can’t believe I’ve lived this long without eating a meal as good as any of the meals you’ve made for us!” Hyunggu continued, Hongseok growing visibly flustered at the praise. 

“I’m really nothing special...” He rubbed at his jaw, fighting the urge to hide his face. 

“Compared to the food offered at the dining hall, yours is five star material.” Jinho added, enjoying the rising flush in Hongseok’s cheeks a little too much. Hyunggu nodded in agreement.

“You’re a master chef compared to the cooks in there.” Hongseok buried his face in his hands.

“Now you’re just exaggerating!” He cried out with a laugh. Hyunggu giggled and placed a hand on Hongseok’s arm.

“Why would we exaggerate? You really are a great cook.” The boy’s smile was genuine as he continued. Hongseok shook his head with a goofy grin.

“I’m no _master chef_ though!” Jinho laughed at how red the tips of Hongseok’s ears had become. 

“Okay, Okay. I think that’s enough. If you compliment him anymore he might just combust.” The smallest man patted Hyunggu’s shoulder, earning a laugh in reply. The younger pulled his hand away to give Hongseok some space. He lifted his head and cupped his hands on his cheeks, still rosy from the praise. 

“Thank you.” He said, still visibly flustered. “But please stop.” The request felt halfhearted behind the boxy smile stretched across his face. It always made Jinho happy so see Hongseok smiling so genuinely that his eyes crinkled up at the corners. It made it feel like he did something right. Jinho really liked knowing he did something right.

________

Jinho lost track of how many nights Hongseok stayed with them that next week. He just knows that when the weekend rolled around after cramming for an exam on Friday, Hongseok was determined to have some fun.

“Monopoly? You want me to play monopoly with you?” Jinho deadpanned at Hongseok, who was grinning happily at the smaller man with the board game held close to his chest. 

“We’re not _just_ going to play monopoly...” he sat the box down on the table and pulled three bottles of soju out of a bag by his backpack. “We’re going to drunkenly be playing monopoly!” Jinho thought Hongseok’s face was going to crack from how big his smile was. He seemed so enthusiastic it hurt.

“That is... the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.” Jinho admitted. The bottles clinked as the taller man’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“Have you ever played monopoly as if it was a drinking game? How do you know it’s not fun?” Jinho pursed his lips at Hongseok’s question. He couldn’t say he’d ever done such a thing while playing monopoly but he didn’t want to admit to it nonetheless.

“I promise it’ll be fun.” The taller continued, setting the bottles beside the board game and ruffling Jinho’s light brown hair. Ever since Hui convinced him to try dying it, Hongseok hasn’t been able to keep his hands to himself. Every time Jinho got close enough, his long fingers would instantly be carding through the smaller’s hair. If it was anyone else, Jinho would have snapped. But it was Hongseok, how could he snap at Hongseok?

“Wanna come choose which piece you’re gonna be?” Hongseok asked as he opened the box.

“I’ll be the car.” Jinho grumbled as he went to go hunt for clean glasses in the kitchen. He didn’t even have to turn around to know that excited grin was back on Hongseok’s face. He didn’t understand why the other was so excited over all this. It was a board game and some alcohol. It’s not like they hadn’t seen each other drunk before. Or. Well. Hongseok has definitely seen Jinho drunk. He doesn’t exactly remember what drunk Hongseok was like, he may or may not have been on the brink of alcohol poisoning and lost any and all recollection of that night.

When Jinho returned to the living room, Hongseok was sitting cross legged beside the coffee table, waiting expectantly for his friend. Jinho narrowed his eyes at him and joined him on the floor on the opposite side of the table. Glass clinked against glass as he sat the shot glasses down on the tabletop. Hongseok popped open one of the bottles with his bare hands and filled both their glasses. Jinho wondered how in the world he did that so easily without destroying his hands as he watched the liquid swirl in the glass.

“You wanna roll first? I already sorted out the money, here’s your stack.” Jinho accepted the stack of fake money reluctantly and rolled the dice across the board. “Five.” The car clicked against the game board as Jinho made it hop 5 spaces. 

“Do you wanna buy that property?” Hongseok asked his with a mischievous glint in his eye. Jinho looked at the price. He could afford it if he wanted to, and you _did_ need to own property to win the game.

“Sure.” Hongseok popped a little plastic game piece right next to the tile as soon as Jinho responded.

“Now you get to celebrate.” He flicked his eyes to Jinho’s glass and back up to his face. _Oh._ That’s How this worked.

“You’re going to give me alcohol poisoning.” Jinho said before downing the glass in one go. He gritted his teeth as the liquid burned the back of his throat. 

“You’re awful competitive so I have a feeling you’re going to give yourself alcohol poisoning.” Hongseok teased before taking his turn.

Jinho quickly lost track of time.

They started playing at around 10pm, a terrible time to start an extensive game of monopoly while sober, let alone under the influence. By 12am, colorful plastic pieces were all over the board, some by the tiles they belonged to, others... not so much. The rules became clearer as the game went on, or they were too drunk to realize they weren’t, one of the two. Each purchase required a shot in celebration. Landing your game piece in jail got a shot and going bankrupt got three.The game paused when Jinho was a bit too tipsy to count and add the five bills he had in his hand.

“How much do I need again to afford education for my children?” Jinho slurred. Hongseok bust into a fit of bubbly laughter.

“We’re playing monopoly! Not Life! There are no children!” Each exclamation was punctuated with a tiny hiccup. With a close look at the board and the redness of Hongseok’s cheeks, it was obvious he was currently in the lead and very, very drunk. The plastic pieces were all in disarray, but Hongseok still had the most under his control. As it turned out, the taller man’s sportsmanship all but disappeared when intoxicated. He was _much_ more competitive than Jinho. 

“I can’t. Fucking. Count.” The smaller stated, to no one in particular. Jinho’s patience was easily tested after a few glasses, it was a surprise he’d made it two hours in. The drowsiness was also starting to set in so his eyes were struggling to stay focused.

“Then do you forth... forfeit?” Hongseok pressed, leaning against the table.

“Fuck you.” Jinho flipped through his money again with his eyebrows pinched together. 

“I love you too.” Hongseok cackled. 

“Okay yeah. I don’t know what this is.” He threw his money onto the table and flopped back onto the rug. Hongseok spread his arms out in victory. Jinho rolled his eyes and felt the room keep spinning long after his pupils had stilled. He wasn’t nearly as out of it as Hongseok clearly was, but the affects of the alcohol were still slowly creeping up on him. Brain function was impaired early into the game, but the vertigo just kicked in and Jinho reached out for something solid to hold onto. Hongseok cried out in surprise as Jinho accidentally latched onto his ankle. He hit his knee on the metal frame of the table with a klang. 

“Fuck!” He shouted as he clutched his knee close to his chest. With his balance compromised, it didn’t take long for him to fall onto his side and join Jinho on the rug. Seeing Hongseok’s face contorted in pain and confusion made Jinho’s drunken little heart ache.

“Are you okay?” He asked and cupped Hongseok’s cheeks with his hands. His glassy eyes went wide at the contact. Without a word, he stared at Jinho. Both their faces were tinged pink from the alcohol, but Hongseok’s ears suddenly burned at the events currently taking place.

“Yeah.” His answer came out just barely above a whisper. 

“Good.” Jinho’s expression easily changed to a pleased, drowsy smile. “Your face is really warm. It’s nice.” The smaller man continued holding Hongseok’s cheeks in his hands, gently squishing them before letting his eyes flutter closed. 

“You’re nice.” He mumbled in reply, too quietly for anyone to hear. He cupped one of Jinho’s hands in his own, feeling the warmth radiate off his skin. He was so close. He could feel the smaller’s breath wash over his face. It smelled like soju and the crystallized ginger they’d both eaten in hopes of calming their stomachs later. Jinho’s side rose and fell with each inhale and exhale in a slow stable pattern. He’d already fallen asleep.

“You’re really. Nice.” Hongseok repeated, no louder than before. “And warm.” A thin smile fell over his face as he let his eyes slowly shut just as Jinho’s had. It was warm and comfortable, and everything Hongseok could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been cooking a lot before the thing happened and I enjoy writing about the familiar process, so I hope I made you all hungry. 
> 
> [[EDIT: In case any of you are wondering, sundubu jjigae is a spicy soft tofu and seafood stew. Pretty sure it’s one of the famous cure all “hangover” stews often served in Korea for those suffering after a long night of drinking. I was planning on cooking it the weekend after I posted this, but the market I went to for ingredients was closed for no clear reason and so I didn’t get to. :( It was a disappointing trip to say the least... all I got out of it was ripped jeans and a bloody knee when I tripped and fell on the way there. Watch where you walk kids, sidewalks are dangerous.]]
> 
> The drunken monopoly was a quick thing I came up with in an attempt to be light hearted when I felt anything but... truthfully, I see these two having short tempers when they’re drunk and Jinho getting sleepy easily. So this is a very mild version I guess. But yes, I promise next chapter will be better. I’m still deciding on them having a marvel movie marathon or going to a med student after midterms party. I might write both and just split the party scene in half to continue into the chapter after that.
> 
> Thank you for the hits, kudos, and compliments.
> 
> I appreciate it a lot <3
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	3. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinho didn’t realize that agreeing to marathoning the entire Marvel movie franchise, meant that he was agreeing to watch 17 movies in one weekend. Hongseok happened to leave that detail out of their agreement before showing up at Jinho’s door with a tall stack of dvds in his arms. It was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’m back! I’ve been down all day because my wisdom teeth hurt so bad it hurts to function and exist right now, but that gave me time to finish this chapter, so here we go! Soft Hongseok and Jinho moments for everyone!
> 
> That being said, all my works are self edited, so if you catch any errors in grammar or spelling, feel free to let me know so I can fix it! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

“So how was your game night?” Hyunggu asked, leaning against the kitchen counter as he watched the two older men come groggily stumbling in, shielding their eyes from the fluorescent lights.

“How long have you been home?” Jinho questioned in reply, his voice raspy from sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and cleared his throat as he climbed into one of the tall chairs at the counter. Hongseok grunted as he joined him. He frowned with squinted eyes and rubbed at his knee. Hyunggu shook his head at the two.

“It’s already 3 pm, I’ve been home for at least a few hours. Long enough to come home, shower, make breakfast, and laugh at you two cuddling on the living room floor.” He laughed, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. Hongseok blinked in confusion as Jinho sputtered beside him.

“We drank three bottles of soju. It happens.” He choked out, suddenly having flashbacks to Hongseok and Hyunggu’s first meeting.

“What happened? When I woke up you were already sitting up but my leg was in your lap.” Hongseok turned his narrowed, tired eyes to Jinho.

“After you hit your knee on the table last night you fell over and I asked if you were okay while holding your face. My head was spinning so I did it in a drunken effort to keep it from moving and I guess I fell asleep like that. When I woke up I couldn’t feel my right hand because it was under your cheekbone.”

“Ah.” His hand was still absentmindedly running up and down his shin. “Sorry for cutting off the circulation in your hand.” 

“Jinho gets cold easy when he’s asleep. If he fell asleep that close to you already, it’s no surprise you ended up all tangled in the morning. He’s like a little magnet when it comes to warmth and he’ll latch onto you until he gets warm or until he wakes up.” Hyunggu explained. Jinho felt his cheeks heat up a little. Hyunggu only knew about his sleeping habits since he’d come in and cuddle the older man until he woke up for class in the mornings. Something he was both thankful for and frustrated by at the same time. Usually the cuddles meant he wanted to talk to him or wanted something from him, but still, Hyunggu was always so nice and warm.

“That’s... really cute.” Hongseok said, hands over his mouth like he said something he shouldn’t have. He nervously eyed Jinho, expecting a punch in the arm for the comment. Fortunately, Jinho let him off with a tired glare. He was still too hung over to do anything about it. And besides that, he was fighting the incredible urge to latch onto the taller man again in favor of sleeping off the hangover, so he couldn’t really provide a wholehearted retort. He slumped over onto the counter, arms stretched out in front of him. With a yelp, he shot straight back up in his seat when Hyunggu pinched his arm with a mischievous grin.

“What was that for?” He hissed at the younger.

“That’s for moping on the counter about your hangover. Eat something and just go back to sleep, you know that usually does the trick for you. Or are you intent on suffering with Hongseokkie?” Hyunggu turned with big sad eyes and a pouty bottom lip to their friend. Hongseok finally lowered his hand and raised an eyebrow at Jinho.

“We literally just woke up. I’m not moping, I’m deciding my plan of action.” He muttered in reply, rubbing at the victimized area of his arm. 

“I’ll make you breakfast, how about that?” Hyunggu offered with a laugh. “What do you two want?”

“Something that’s not greasy. My stomach can’t handle that during a hangover.” Hongseok said meekly. Jinho nodded in understanding and agreement. 

“Eggs and toast sounds perfectly fine with me.” Jinho added. 

“Egg sandwiches it is then.” Hyunggu clapped his hands and turned around to get to work preparing the meal. Hongseok turned back to Jinho, eyes droopy and lips drawn in a line.

“You know, I’m perfectly fine with you leeching warmth off of me. Changgu’s really touchy and clingy at home, so I don’t find it weird. I’m used to it honestly.” Hongseok admitted, hoping it would make Jinho feel less bothered.

“Ah, That’s.. good? It’s just weird when two men cuddle don’t you think?” Jinho rubbed at his neck, suddenly embarrassed again.

“Hyunggu cuddles with you in the mornings, so I don’t really see a difference?” Hongseok furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Hyunggu doesn’t count, he’s practically my little brother. Familial cuddling is different.” He explained, biting his lip as he slowly realized how ridiculous that sounded.

“I... think I get it. You’re still welcome to use me as a heater if you’re ever cold, though. I really don’t mind.” Hongseok answered, resting his cheek in his palm as he gave Jinho a sympathetic look. The smaller couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze and turned his focus to the stove where Hyunggu was standing.

“Okay, thanks.” 

__________

 

“I can’t believe you cried during Iron Man.” Jinho chuckled at his friend. Hongseok was sitting beside him on the couch, wrapped up in half the comforter they were sharing and a fuzzy throw blanket, sniffling.

“It’s a cinematic MASTERPIECE! How do you keep from crying when watching such a movie?” Hongseok gasped, a hand coming up to rub at his watery eyes. Jinho shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“So we’re literally two movies into this marathon and you already cried during the second one. Do you think you’ll be able to make it all the way through to the second Gaurdians of the Galaxy?” Jinho ran his hand through his hair, still in disbelief.

“Of course!” Hongseok exclaimed. “But... I make no promises for Winter Soldier.” He added and shrunk back into his nest of blankets.

“Of course you’d cry during that one. Of course you would.”

“And the second Avengers.”

“Oh my god.” Jinho pushed the blankets off of him and left the warmth of the couch to put in the next dvd. “Which movie is next in the timeline?”

“Iron Man 2.” Hongseok’s reply was quick and certain, like he knew it by heart, which wouldn’t surprise Jinho if he did. He nodded and popped the dvd back into the case and shuffled through the stack for the next one. He opened it with a clicked and stuck in the game system that he and Hyunggu had that conveniently played BluRay discs. The system whirred as it registered the disc. 

“Try not to cry during this one, it’s really distracting. I haven’t seen this one yet.” Jinho told his cocoon of a friend as he plopped back down on the couch. He hit a few buttons on the controller and started the movie, still unsure how to skip the previews.

“You’ve seen like two. It’s not my fault you missed out.” Hongseok pouted from under the blankets.

“I don’t have a lot of free time to watch movies as soon as they’re released, like _some_ people.” Jinho retorted.

“You say, as we have plans to go see Black Panther together on Thursday.” He mumbled in reply with narrowed eyes at the smaller.

“Hey now, you said you’d pay for my popcorn _and_ dinner if I went with you since no one else would. I’m not about to turn down free food. What kind of college student do you think I am?” Jinho reasoned. Hongseok sighed in defeat. He and Jinho had made plans to see the newest addition to the Marvel universe after a lot of pleading and bribing on Hongseok’s part. The only catch was that he had insisted that Jinho needed to watch all the movies that came before it, in order, based on the plot line. Jinho had originally agreed, not knowing just how many movies actually took place before. He quickly realized his mistake when Hongseok showed up at his door with a ridiculously tall stack of dvd cases and a face full of excitement.

He dreaded the first two until he heard Hongseok sniffle beside him, only to find him crying during the big climax near the end of the movie. After that, Jinho had to say he was thoroughly entertained. He didn’t expect Hongseok to cry during any movie, let alone a superhero-action movie. Hyunggu was out for the night, saying he was spending the weekend with friends to work on a project. He guessed it was probably half true. Hyunggu really was a good student and he always got his work done, but he nearly always had ulterior motives when “staying with friends”. He still wasn’t too sure about this Yuto guy he heard so much about. Wooseok seemed like a good kid though. When Jinho met him a few months ago, he couldn’t help but see him as a very, very tall, clumsy puppy.

They made it through the next two movies with no tears. Halfway through the third, Jinho found himself nodding off. It wasn’t his intention, to fall asleep. It was just so hard when he was on the big, comfy, plush couch. The warmth radiating from Hongseok didn’t help either. At some point he must have actually dozed off. He woke up when Hongseok was gently shaking him, suddenly closer than before.

“Jinhooooo!” He whined softly. “You slept through the big ending battle! Now you won’t understand what happens in the second Thor movie!” Jinho blinked his bleary eyes and pulled his head off Hongseok’s shoulder.

“Oh, sorry. I think I’ll survive if I don’t know all the details.” He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms up over his head. Hongseok pouted at him again, eyebrows knit together. Jinho rolled his eyes. “Hey, how about you go get me a soda out of the fridge? Since I got up to get the popcorn earlier? Maybe that’ll help me stay awake?” He suggested, wrapping himself tighter into the blankets. Hongseok grumbled about not being Jinho’s personal servant, but got up anyway. Jinho watched him walk into the kitchen and flip on the light. After a few moments of rustling, he heard the microwave buzzing, guessing Hongseok decided to make more popcorn before the next movie. 

“Here’s your soda.” He said as he walked back into the living room, a can in each hand. He sat one on the coffee table and popped the other open before handing it to Jinho.

“Thank youuuuuu~” Jinho happily accepted the drink. Hongseok padded back into the kitchen, stretching his arms up high. Jinho caught the waistband of his boxers just above his sweatpants. Honestly, he was jealous Hongseok owned the really nice boxers that were just too pricey to be convenient to buy for Jinho. He was stuck buying the cheap, cotton value pack that shrunk easily in the wash. Maybe he’d ask for underwear for his birthday. Would it be weird to ask your friend to buy you underwear? 

The sound of a bag tearing and the mouthwatering scent of buttered popcorn stopped his entire thought process. Hongseok turned off the kitchen light and came back, pouring the fresh snack into the empty bowl on the table. He changed the dvd and headed back to the couch. Jinho eyed the popcorn hungrily, already shoving a handful into his mouth before the other man even sat back down.

The brush of skin against his exposed arm made him freeze. Hongseok slid right up beside him. He had his half of the comforter wrapped around his left shoulder as his right arm pressed up against Jinho. He sat, momentarily stunned, as he watched Hongseok sit the bowl in his lap and sink back happily into the cushions. It felt strange. Jinho couldn’t place it. But he didn’t want to scoot away. Hongseok was so warm. There was no use in moving away if he’d only end up right beside him once more if he dozed off again. Hesitantly, he leaned back into the cushions beside him. Hongseok didn’t even budge, as if being this close was only natural. 

So they stayed like that. Side by side. 

Halfway through the movie, Jinho decided he didn’t mind sitting so close after all. He reasoned with himself that it was easier to share the blankets and reach the popcorn. And Hongseok really was an exceptional heat source. 

“Sorry to make you move, but I really gotta pee.” Hongseok said urgently as he shifted beside Jinho. He hadn’t realized his head was resting on Hongseok’s shoulder again.

“Oh sorry, you’re free to pee.” He said, lifting his head and scooting over to let Hongseok up. He quickly paused the movie so the taller man wouldn’t miss anything, even if he’d seen it a million times.

“Thank god.” Hongseok shot up off the couch and quickly scrambled down the hall. Jinho thought he heard him quietly complain about the floor being cold. He smiled in amusement. After a moment, he realized he was in need of a bathroom break too. The wait felt unfortunately long, even if only a few minutes had passed. Jinho found himself missing Hongseok’s warmth as he tried to focus on anything but his bladder. As soon as he heard the bathroom door crack open, he was off the couch and peeking down the hall. When Hongseok raised an eyebrow, he just uttered a quick, “my turn” and shot past him into the bathroom. He heard the other laugh as he closed the door.

Once he returned to the living room, he encountered a dilemma. Hongseok was right back in his previous spot, looking at him expectantly to join him. It was one thing for Hongseok to sit close and Jinho to choose not to move, but something completely different when Jinho was the one determining the distance between them.

“Do you want anything else to eat?” He asked, instead of making that difficult decision just this second.

“We’ve eaten two bags of popcorn and you’re still hungry?” Hongseok questioned in response.

“Over the span of five movies. Close to what... 7 hours? 8 hours? Maybe more? Of course I’m hungry.” Jinho crossed his arms defensively, suddenly aware of the slight pudge around his waist. He lowered his arms a bit, slightly self conscious when he compared himself to his well-built friend.

“Oh. Actually you’re right. I don’t know why I’m not hungry.” Hongseok’s face looked blank as the realization hit him. He turned back to Jinho. “Did we get any fruit when we went to the grocery last?” 

“I think we got some... pears? And maybe apples?”

“I vote fruit then. We probably just ate half our weight in butter from that popcorn. I can help wash them and cut them up.” Hongseok heaved himself back off the couch and walked past Jinho and into the kitchen. They washed and cut the fruit in casual silence, piling up the slices on a plate and bringing it back to the table. Jinho managed to sit down first, as Hongseok had carried the plate in. Once again, when he sat down, his arm brushed against Jinho’s, soft and warm. He couldn’t help the small smile that stretched across his lips. 

“Oh? What’s the smile for?” Hongseok teased, biting into a piece of pear. Jinho felt his cheeks heat up a bit in the dark room.

“You’re just really warm.” He answered honestly. Hongseok flashed a wide smile.

“I told you I make a good heater!” He leaned back against the cushions with a satisfied grin. Jinho pulled the plate into his lap and joined him, starting the movie again. 

He managed to make it all the way to the second Thor movie before starting to doze off again. He missed bits and pieces near the middle, blinking and realizing ten or so minutes had passed and he no longer knew what was happening. Close to the end, when he was really struggling, he gulped down the last of his soda. The realization quickly hit him that he drank too fast as he fell into a fit of hiccups. They came out as little squeaks that hurt his throat and made his chest tight with each one. He tried to keep quiet, but Hongseok reached over his legs to hit the pause button on the controller.

“You okay there?” Hongseok asked him. Jinho nodded when his response was cut off by another hiccup. He watched Hongseok’s lips quirk up into a smile. He pursed his lips to fight back the laugh threatening to bubble up his throat at the squeaks coming from the smaller. 

“Don’t punch me, but that’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard.” Hongseok sputtered.

“It’s not-“ getting interrupted was going to continue if he couldn’t get rid of these hiccups anytime soon. He took a deep breath and forced the words out of his mouth at a rapid pace. “It’s not adorable! I’m in pain!” His eyes were starting to water from the heartburn the hiccups were giving him. Hongseok hummed in thought. He turned to face the other direction, fiddling with the blankets. 

“Aaaugh!” Jinho cried as Hongseok whipped around with a loud “boo”. He stared at the man in horror, before another pitiful squeak escaped his throat.

“Well. Scaring the hiccups away doesn’t work on you.” Hongseok laughed.

“I thought you were a -hiccup- med student! You sho-hiccup-should know that doesn’t work!” Jinho pushed Hongseok away, scooting to the other side of the couch. 

“There isn’t really a 100% certified way of getting rid of hiccups. I’m sorry for scaring you.” Hongseok said, trying to hold back his amusement. “C’mere, I’m sorry. We’ll just have to wait for them to go away.” Hongseok pulled Jinho back to him by his shoulders. The smaller pouted between squeaks, but let himself be dragged back to the heat source regardless. “Should we try to continue the movie or wait?”

“Just -hiccup- hit play, at least I’m fully awake now.” Jinho grumbled. Hongseok nodded and grabbed the controller, hitting the triangular button in the center. The final minutes of the movie continued with Jinho’s hiccups mixing with the background music. Hongseok couldn’t hold back the quiet fit of laughter he’d been holding for the rest of the movie once the credits started rolling. Jinho pouted, disgruntled that his misfortune was so entertaining to the taller man.

“I’ll put in the next movie. Do you want a glass of water or anything?” Hongseok asked as he pulled back the blankets. Jinho nodded in response. At this point he was just mad. He hated hiccups, especially the painful kind. He was ready to give up and go to bed, but he dreaded the heartbroken look he was sure Hongseok would give him. Regardless of the never ending hiccups, Jinho felt his eyes drooping by the time Hongseok returned. The glass of water softly clinked against the table as the other sat it down before switching the dvd. He settled back down beside Jinho with a smile he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Which one is this?” He asked with a stifled yawn. He rested his head on Hongseok’s shoulder, no longer caring about personal space. 

“Captain America: The Winter Soldier.” Hongseok replied, slightly tilting his head onto Jinho’s.

“Is this the one you said you were -hiccup- sobbing because of when you left the movie theater?” Jinho rubbed his eyes with a small smile. Hongseok stuck out his lower lip.

“Maybe.”

_______

Jinho blinked open his eyes when he heard the sniffling. He slid his pupils up towards Hongseok. The taller man’s bottom lip was trembling and his eyes were glassy. He turned his eyes back to the screen. A fight scene? Maybe it was more of an argument, was taking place in the Avenger’s ship between Captain America and a guy he kept calling Bucky. Jinho fell asleep around ten minutes into the movie so he had no clue what was going on or why this scene was so emotional it made Hongseok cry no matter how many times he saw it. Gently, he pulled Hongseok’s arm close to his chest, in a sleepy attempt to comfort him. The man’s dark pupils snapped to Jinho and down to his arm. He wiped his eyes and sniffled again, leaning back against the couch and scooting even closer to the smaller man.

It was too much of a challenge for Jinho to stay awake for the rest of the movie to comfort Hongseok. He felt bad that he fell asleep on his crying friend’s shoulder, but 9 movies in a row was just too much for him. The sun was already starting to peak through the window and he really wasn’t ready to see it rise. But the next time his eyes cracked open, it was already high in the sky and making it’s way towards setting. He buried his face into the nearest object, his eyes still unfocused and bleary from sleep. His brain registered that he was now on his side with his back to the cushions of the couch and something warm between him and the edge of the seat cushions. 

His fingers curled around the cotton fabric under the palm of his hand and he felt his head slowly rise and fall. Slowly, he cracked open one eye. The blurry design of Hongseok’s T-shirt came into view. He was on his back on the couch, head resting on a pile of blankets and slightly turned towards the back of the couch. Jinho noticed the warm arm wrapped around his shoulder and buried his face deeper. It was so warm between their shared body heat and the thick blankets and he was still so, so sleepy. His brain didn’t process that his fingers were tracing the ridges of Hongseok’s ribcage until a few breaths after it happened. They were cushioned by lean muscle, but still prominent enough to easily find even when half asleep.

Stirring from beside him caused his eyes to flutter back open, as they had closed once more as Jinho drifted back into sleep. Hongseok’s face scrunched as he stretched his free arm up over his head and let out a low, rumbling hum. Jinho blinked up at him with tired, droopy eyes. The other rubbed at his equally heavy lids before smiling a soft, sleepy smile at Jinho. 

“Good morning.” Hongseok breathed just before covering his mouth to stifle a big yawn. Jinho felt a yawn tickling the back of his throat soon after and followed him, quickly curling back in against his chest. Hongseok huffed out a breathy laugh. “Still not awake yet, I take it?” 

He made a surprised noise when he attempted to pull his arm out from behind the smaller man only to find it pinned under his weight. Jinho scooted forward and lifted his shoulder a bit to let Hongseok free himself. His arm limply slid out from behind him.

“You cut the circulation off in my arm... oh geez, it’s asleep and tingly.” He groaned as the pins and needles started to set in. He gripped at his arm, kneading the muscles in an attempt to revive the blood flow and stop the prickly sensation. Jinho could feel himself drifting back off into sleep again. Things sounded muffled and distant. Hongseok’s warmth seeped through his T-shirt and warmed the cheek Jinho had pressed to his side and the fingers spread across his chest. 

What felt like mere seconds passed by before Jinho’s eyes cracked open again. The room was bathed in a dim, rosy, orange by the light filtering in through the window from the setting sun. Hongseok was lazily scrolling through his phone with one hand, the other buried in Jinho’s hair, tracing soft circles into his scalp. His limbs were still heavy after sleeping even longer. Hongseok’s dark eyes slid down to meet Jinho’s sleepy stare.

“Are you really awake this time?” He asked with a gentle smile. Jinho rubbed his eyes and nodded, his cheek rubbing up and down against the other’s chest. “You nodded off at the end of Winter Soldier. I realize now that a Marvel movie marathon all in one night was probably too much.” Jinho nodded again, eyes a little bit more focused. 

“We don’t have to watch them all if you don’t want to, I can just fill you in if there’s anything you don’t understand after seeing Black Panther.” He reasoned, finger still swirling around a lock of Jinho’s hair. The smaller man shifted so he could look up at Hongseok without straining his neck.

“No we can finish ‘em today.” He mumbled. “But we gotta take breaks in between this time.” Hongseok easily agreed. 

“We still have 8 left, think you can make it?” He asked.

“We have What now?” Jinho narrowed his eyes at the taller man. He got a nervous laugh in return. “Did you say 8? _8_ more left to go?”

“Yes?” 

Jinho groaned and buried his face back into Hongseok’s side.

“I’ll try.” He replied, voice muffled.

“Sorry, I should have warned you about how many there were before you agreed to this.” Hongseok ruffled the hair on the back of Jinho’s head. 

“I’ll try, but only if I don’t have to move.” _Because you’re really warm and the perfect shape to curl up against if I do end up falling asleep again, but I’d never admit it._ Jinho offered, hoping Hongseok would get that he meant neither of them should move because he was really comfortable. The other man hummed, dramatically thinking it over.

“Okay, but only if you ask me again in the cutest way possible.” Hongseok wagered. Jinho’s expression went stone cold.

“Get out of my house.”

 

_________

 

“How was the movie?” Hui asked as Jinho sat his stuff down beside the mixing table. Hui was his underclassman and best friend. They usually worked together on projects since they were two of the incredibly small number of students in their major, and long nights in the studio got lonely.

“I’ve never seen a grown man so excited for a movie in my entire life.” Jinho laughed. “He was already bouncing off the walls before we even walked into the theater. But it was really good, I’ll admit.” He pulled up a chair beside Hui and pulled a notebook and a few pens out of his bag. He and Hongseok had agreed on going to see the movie during the daytime when it was less crowded and the tickets were cheaper. This also gave Jinho the rest of the day to work on his production and composition work.

“Sounds like you had fun, then.” He said with a bright smile. “You ready to get to work? We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” Jinho nodded in return, flipping to a page full of scribbled lyrics and melodies.

“Should we work on the hook some more? The words just seem off and the backing track goes a little flat a few seconds in.” Hui suggested, Jinho quickly agreeing. They needed a song finished in time for midterms and they had only one week left. They were so, so close, but all the little details and fine tuning was holding them up. Jinho had especially been stressing over the little things, originally thinking he’d have to cancel the movie plans with Hongseok because he felt so pressed for time. Hui had forced him to take a break and go have a little fun. It definitely did him some good. His mind felt clearer now, maybe they could get this done in time after all.

Fortunately progress came in a steady pace. Hui adjusted some of the instrumentals to liven up the melody where it had gone flat, while Jinho went through all the different ways to say one sentence in both wording and in singing. 

“Oh, I liked that. Can you do that again?” Hui asked, pulling off his head phones as he turned to the older.

“What?” Jinho blinked at him,surprised he even heard anything through the massive black studio headphones.

“That little ad lib you just did. That sounded really good.” Hui explained. Jinho had to remember what he just did. It just sort of happened and he didn’t make note of what he did exactly. He took a breath and tried to recreate it.

“That little rise at the end is _really_ nice. You wanna do that again in the sound booth? I think we could use that.” Hui picked up his headphones again and nodded his head towards the glass in front of the sound table.

“Sure. Just the same thing?” Jinho stood up and made his way towards the sound booth door, notebook in hand.

“Yeah same thing. After we get a good one, maybe play around a bit? I think you’re going in the right direction.” Hui gave him a thumbs up and pulled the headphones back over his ears and started adjusting knobs and sliders to prepare for recording. Jinho got set up and waited for Hui’s signal. A raise of his friend’s hand told him everything was ready to go. 

A full hour passed by before Jinho reemerged from the booth, beaming in satisfaction. Hui welcome him with a round of dramatic applause. 

“That was great.” Hui patted Jinho on the back as the older passed him on his way back to his chair. “You’ve reached a whole new level. If the professor doesn’t pass us with flying colors just because of your voice, I’ll be thoroughly upset.”

“Now you’re just exaggerating.” Jinho scoffed, smile still plastered across his face regardless.

“No, I’m serious. I don’t know what it is, but you’ve just... really let loose these past few sessions. Everything is turning out great and your ideas are fresh and so much happier than before. It just feels like it’s naturally coming out of you now. I mean no offense, but last semester your ideas were all sad and negative as far as genres and lyric choice goes. They seemed sort of forced and almost over-planned and over-polished. It was bringing me down.” Hui admitted, rubbing at his neck. Jinho stared at him, partially out of shock and partially out of appreciation for his honesty. 

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” Hui paused, contemplating. “Maybe it’s Hongseok.”

“Hongseok? What do you mean?” Jinho raised an eyebrow, puzzled.

“I think making a new friend like Hongseok is doing you a lot of good. He’s been getting you out of the house more, encouraging you to eat better, and given you a chance to do things you don’t normally do. I think that’s just helping you refresh and look at things differently.” Hui put a hand on Jinho’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. “He’s making you happy. You won’t say it outright, but I know you haven’t been happy in a long time Jinho. I could tell. Hyunggu can tell. We’ve both tried our best to help you without being too pushy, but I thinking you just needed a fresh face and a new perspective. I’m glad you made a friend like Hongseok.”

Jinho stayed silent for a few moments, gaze falling to his feet.

“So you could tell?” He muttered, just loud enough for Hui to hear.

“You’re so focused on school that you didn’t go anywhere but your apartment, to the studio and to class for two solid months. You didn’t even go home for break. You didn’t sleep for five days during finals last semester. That sort of thing takes a toll on people. You looked like an empty shell on your worst days and like man who’s lived a long, rough life on your best days.” Hui sighed and took Jinho’s hands into his. “You needed a break and to just get away from school and work, but you wouldn’t listen to any of us when we tried to get you out of the house or out of the studio or to even just step back for ten minutes to take a breather. You were working yourself to death. I was so worried you’d just keep going on like that until graduation. I didn’t want to see my best friend up on stage, getting his diploma looking like a zombie when it was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life.”

Jinho avoided his gaze and avoided the sight of Hui’s hands gently squeezing his. Hui’s thumb brushed back and forth over his knuckles as he continued.

“After you met Hongseok, you looked a little brighter. Your eyes weren’t dull and lifeless after the first month and your dark circles have almost disappeared altogether. You laugh and smile more often and you just seem so much more confident and happy. I don’t know how Hongseok manages to get you out of the house and into a better mindset, but I’m truly thankful for him. As your best friend, I’m so genuinely thankful someone could do for you what I couldn’t. You had me so worried and I was at a loss for what to do. But now I’m not worried about you anymore. I know someone’s there for you when I can’t be.” 

Hui smiled, a big, wide smile full of affection and the unconditional love that comes with the type of friendship he and Jinho shared. Jinho wasn’t expecting an emotional speech from Hui after absolutely killing it in the sound booth, and it hit him right in the heart. 

“I’m glad you’re not worried anymore.” He said, feeling the tears already threatening to roll down his cheeks. “And I’m really glad I met Hongseok too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter, it was nice to write something so soft. And we finally get a scene with Hui! Hooray! Hui’s the caring dad friend we all need in our lives. 
> 
> Thank you to those who left comments on the last chapter and left some kind words. I appreciate your kindness. Think of this chapter as my thank you to you. 
> 
> I’m hoping to move this plot along as if it’s the second semester of college starting back up in January. That means I’m staying as chronologically as possible with real time. So this is taking place a week before midterms, which also happens to be two weeks before Spring Break for these hooligans as well as for me! I was running a little off schedule, so this is actually my midterms week, but the worst of it has finally passed. 
> 
> Next chapter is in progress and it’s going to be a bit of a wild ride as the story starts to heat up. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and any Kudos and comments! Have a happy beginning of spring and a happy March everyone! If you have testing and crazy deadlines going on, I wish you luck!
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	4. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinho’s not a partier, but he’ll make an exception just to see Hongseok’s dancing firsthand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! Sort of! It feels like it’s been a long time for me. 
> 
> I’m back with a.. sort of filler chapter. It’s all build up for the next chapter, so sorry it’s sort of short and there aren’t any twists and turns. I’ve got a plot all laid out for how it’s gonna go down the next 2 or 3 chapters, I just won’t have time to write them out the way I want until next week probably.
> 
> I spent this week recovering from getting 4 impacted wisdom teeth removed, so not much writing happened between the pain and medication (I still have swollen cheeks and huge bruises on my face, ouch). Who would have guessed I’d spend my entire spring break bedridden, in pain, and unable to eat home cooked solid foods. Because of that, I’m also going to warn you that my editing skills aren’t superb, especially when I’m not functioning at 100% due to pain meds making me a little woozy. If you find any errors, feel free to let me know!
> 
> [EDIT: Chapter now edited!]

Jinho scrunched up his face in confusion at his bright phone screen. It was nearly 4:30am and Hongseok had decided now was a perfect time to call him. He shifted so he was laying on his side rather than his face as he had been before and accepted the call. 

“Hello? Hongseok?” He mumbled, still a bit groggy. 

“Jinho?” Jinho squinted his eyes again, more confused now that Hongseok’s voice was filled with surprise. “I-I didn’t expect you to be awake!”

“Then why did you call me?” Jinho thought he heard shuffling in the background.

“Ask him about the party!” Said a sharp whisper on the other end.

“What was that?” Jinho was starting get frustrated.

“Nothing, Just Changgu asking me something, haha ha...” Hongseok’s nervous laugh trailed off before he clicked his tongue and continued. “So, I was... I was Uh... calling to see if you’d want to go to a party after midterms were over. The med students all get together at this one guy’s house to celebrate our short break from suffering and we’re encouraged to bring a friend. Would you wanna go?” 

Jinho stared at the wall in a drowsy daze.

“A party?”

“Yes. Saturday night after midterms are over.”

“I guess?”

“Is that a yes?”

“How many people are gonna be there?”

“Um. A lot.”

“Will I even know anyone?”

“Changgu and Yanan are going too.”

“So in other words, I won’t know anyone but you because those two will be off sucking face somewhere.”

“I...Well...”

“Can you... ask me again... later today.”

“Yes, That is absolutely a thing I can do. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t rush and just let me know whenever. I’m so sorry I woke you up. I hope you can get back to sleep soon! Sorry! Goodnight! Bye!” 

Jinho frowned at his phone after Hongseok hung up on him. Why did he sound so frantic? Hongseok was usually pretty calm and collected. He was just asking if he wanted to go to a party... at 4:36am. He was too tired to deal with any of this right now. What was Hongseok even doing awake at this time? Jinho knew he woke up pretty early each morning, but even he had a “never wake up before 6am” limit. He must have never slept at all from studying. He might have sounded that frantic because he was on his fifth cup of coffee. Hongseok only drank coffee in emergency cram situations so it would be more effective. Maybe it’s been a while and the coffee’s doing its job a little too well.

Regardless of the reason, Jinho had class at 8 and he really needed to stop thinking and just go back to sleep. And he did. His alarm woke him up and it felt like he blinked and it was 7:15am. Begrudgingly, he got out of bed with a groan. He hoped he’d be able to make it through classes today without completely passing out.

 

________

 

Jinho squinted his eyes at the two bickering figures across the street. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they were clearly arguing about something. His eyes were so tired they were refusing to focus, but he was pretty sure the one in the long gray coat was Hongseok. With an educated guess, he figured the curly haired boy next to him was Changgu. They were standing just outside a bookstore, with furrowed brows and animated hand gestures. Jinho was going to have to pass by them once he crossed the street if this darn stop light would ever change. 

“Walk sign on 65th street.” A monotone voice said from the little speaker box on the walk sign. It still freaked Jinho out that these signs talked now. But it was probably for the best so he wouldn’t zone out and miss his chance to cross altogether. As he crossed the street, he started to be able to hear bits and pieces of the conversation.

“I still don’t get why you were being so pushy about the whole thing. I mean it was 4 in the morning! Who asks things like that at 4 in the morning?” Hongseok looked absolutely exasperated at his friend and roommate.

“You were never going to ask if I didn’t push you to do it. You put it off for a week already!” Changgu, with a voice incapable of ever truly sounding harsh or mad, told him.

“How do I even know if he likes parties or not? I’ve never heard him talk about them or anything. And why would he want to go to one where he doesn’t even know anyone? Let alone with us?” Hongseok was attempting to reason with a level head, but his red tipped ears gave his temper away.

“For the same reason he’s over our place three or four times a week! To see you! Why else would he go? Don’t you see what’s going on here? I’m telling you-“ Changgu paused, face flushed in shock as his eyes caught Jinho, walking up to them with a raised eyebrow. “O-oh! Jinho! How are you?” He saw Hongseok’s shoulders stiffen before he whipped around in what looked like horror, to face Jinho.

“Really freaking tired, but surviving. How about you two? Things seemed awful heated a second ago. You okay?” He looked between the two taller men. He noticed the dark circles behind Hongseok’s thick rimmed glasses. “You look how I feel, buddy.” He patted him on the back and waited for an answer as the two exchanged glances. Hongseok’s eyes seemed frantic and pleading as he glanced at Changgu, while the other looked like he was trying to get Hongseok to explain.

“We’re good. Everything’s fine.” Hongseok quickly answered. Changgu’s expression shifted to disappointment.

“Did you decide if you were up for the party Saturday?” Changgu asked with a smile. Jinho gave Hongseok a confused look before turning to Changgu with a tired smile.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to a party, so why not? Better than getting drunk alone at home to celebrate the end of midterms, right?” Changgu’s smile grew big and boxy in reply.

“See? I told you he’d say yes.” He happily told Hongseok, who looked like he was struggling for words. 

“I mean, I’m not much of a partier, so I can see why he would think I’d say no.” Jinho offered, hoping to put Hongseok at ease. The poor man looked like he was going to lose it. He was beyond flustered and still trying to calm down from the argument. “But really, you okay there?” 

“I’m fine. I need to be somewhere.” Hongseok responded, his words clipped, before quickly turning and walking away. Changgu crossed his arms and huffed at his friend’s behavior. 

“He doesn’t look the type, but he gets anxious really easily.” Changgu explained, turning back to Jinho. “The fact that he hasn’t slept in three days isn’t helping either.”

“Dang, three days? Is he okay?” Jinho stared in the direction Hongseok walked off, worried.

“I think he just needs a break, but he’s really worried about the exam he has on Wednesday. That class has really been kicking his butt. I tried to cheer him up by suggesting we invite you to the party on Saturday and he got sorta anxious about it. He was worried you’d feel obligated to go even if you weren’t comfortable with parties and he didn’t want to force you.” Changgu sighed. 

“If I didn’t want to go I’d just say no. I thought he knew me better than that by now.” Jinho frowned.

“Then it could be that he just isn’t ready for you to see what he’s like at parties.” Changgu laughed.

“What do you mean?”

“He acts like a drunk suburban soccer mom.”

“Oh my god.” Jinho couldn’t help but snicker at the thought.

“He’s embarrassing truthfully, but it’s incredibly entertaining. Yan An managed to get a video of him dancing last year, I might still have it on my phone.” Changgu pulled out his phone and hurriedly scrolled through his camera roll, already laughing at the memory. Jinho had to admit he was eager to see it.

“Oh good I do. Now keep in mind, we were both pretty intoxicated by this point too, but Hongseok was definitely the star of the dance floor.” Changgu held out his phone for Jinho. The smaller man accepted it, already snorting at the thumbnail and hit play. He’d never seen such awkward dancing in his life. Hongseok was so in to it. He looked like a middle aged woman drunkenly jamming to an old rock band at an outdoor concert. There was absolutely no rhythm in his body once alcohol was involved. Changgu was dancing with him, still pretty badly, but he wasn’t quite as shamelessly into it as Hongseok. He could hear Yan An cackling behind the camera as the two hung onto each other and swayed. Jinho was laughing so hard he could feel tears threatening to fall from his eyes. The video ended with Hongseok dancing horribly to some 4Minute song. Jinho handed the phone back to Changgu and wiped his eyes.

“I can’t fucking believe what I’m seeing, I’m so excited to see that in person.” Jinho wheezed.

“Well, you don’t have to wait too long.” Changgu chuckled. “We can give you a ride over on Saturday if you want. The party starts at 8:00, but we’ll probably start heading over ten minutes early, so... around 7:50ish? Just let us know whether you want to be picked up or just come over to our place early and hang out before we go. Either way is fine with us. You’re always welcome at our apartment.” 

“If it’s cool with you, I think I’ll just come over early. I have a feeling I’ll be hardcore hibernating after all these projects and exams are over and if I’m at home there’s no guarantee I’ll wake up in time.” Jinho laughed. He was so ready to sleep through the entirety of spring break.

“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. I completely understand.” Changgu smiled and nodded. “Well, you looked like you were headed somewhere when you walked up, so I’ll let you get on with your day. See you on Saturday!” He waved and headed off into the same direction Hongseok went.

“Bye Changgu!” Jinho waved back, still smiling in amusement at the memory of the video.

 

__________

 

“I still just can’t believe you agreed to go to a party.” Hyunggu said, as he dug through Jinho’s closet.

“Yeah, Yeah, but why are you so intent on making me look nice for a college party? No one’s going to care what I look like after a few drinks anyway.” Jinho groaned from his spot on his bed. He was sitting cross legged as he watched his roommate tear through his wardrobe and chest of drawers for what he dictated was decent clothing. The younger turned around and shot him a deadpan look.

“You’ve been stressed and basically living like a hermit for two years now. I’m trying to get you laid.” Jinho sputtered as he turned back around and continued clicking the hangers against each other as he slid each article of clothing across the rack one by one. 

“Who says I need to get laid?” He mumbled, crossing his arms.

“You. You literally said you needed to get laid.” Hyunggu sighed over his shoulder.

“When did I say that?” Jinho knitted his eyebrows together.

“Two weeks ago when you got drunk with Hongseok and wouldn’t let me go to bed until you had thoroughly complained about how deprived you were. You made it _very_ clear how desperate you were for a ‘good fuck’ as you called it that night.” Hyunggu held a white and burgundy striped dress shirt out to the light, turning it over in his hands.

“O-oh...” Jinho curled in on himself a little further. He stayed silent until his roommate hummed in approval.

“Here, put this on after you shower and I’ll style your hair for you when you get out.” Hyunggu handed him the dress shirt, a pair of dusty brown dress pants and a matching blazer. He shuffled through one of Jinho’s drawers and pulled out a shiny, brown leather belt and a pair of white socks. “These too.”

“I’m going to be hanging out at Hongseok’s place for two hours before the party and you expect me to wear dress pants and a suit jacket? I’m not going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, I’m going to a college party. There’s no way I’m wearing this only for someone to spill beer on it.” Jinho stated in a cold tone. Hyunggu sighed and took back the outfit.

“Fine. We’ll go with something more casual. But I’m still styling your hair. Go get in the shower and I’ll just bring you your clothes, otherwise you’ll be late.” Hyunggu grumbled, digging through the wardrobe once more.

“Fine with me.” Jinho shrugged and slid off the bed.

“And here.” Hyunggu handed him a pair of black boxer briefs. “Don’t wear your cheap value pack underwear to the party. You don’t want anyone making fun of it if you do manage to win someone over.” 

“Did you literally go out and buy me a pair of underwear in the hopes that I’d get laid?” Jinho asked as he accepted the garment with a puzzled expression.

“Yes. You really need to step up your game. You’re already shopping like a stingy old man. So I took the first step for you. I’m never buying you another pair again, so don’t get used to it.” Hyunggu replied with a serious expression. 

“Okay I won’t.” Jinho raised his hands in defeat and turned to make his way to the bathroom to shower.

____

When he pulled back the curtain, he was greeted by Hyunggu’s second attempt at an outfit. Tight black jeans with a few thin rips at the thighs, a blue striped dress shirt, and a denim jacket hung from the towel rack. Jinho didn’t see how this was supposed to make him desirable, but it was still better than dress pants. He pulled on the boxer briefs and jeans, towel drying his hair a bit before sliding the shirt on and buttoning it up. It was still too hot and steamy in the bathroom for the jacket, so he left it on the hanger for now. He opened the door to let in some cool air before washing his face and going through his usual after shower routine. 

“You didn’t even tuck in your shirt.” Hyunggu sighed with disappointment as he leaned against the door way. Jinho’s eyes were shut tight to protect them from the soap currently covering his face, so he didn’t see the equally disapproving look he was being given. He splashed water over his face to wash off the lather, patting it dry with a towel as he turned to Hyunggu.

“Does it really need to be tucked in?” He asked, still not completely agreeing with his roommate’s game of dress up.

“Yes. At least part of it needs to be, otherwise no one can see your thighs. You have nice thighs and we gotta show them off.” He reasoned. Jinho did think his thighs were his best feature, besides maybe his face. 

“Then how should I tuck it in, master coordinator?” Jinho crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow at the younger. Hyunggu sighed again for the millionth time tonight. He stepped forward and pulled Jinho’s arms apart, lifting them upwards, but not so high that his shirt didn’t ride up. He unbuttoned the last two buttons and tucked one side into Jinho’s pants. 

“You’re a little too close to my crotch for this to not be uncomfortable, just so you know.” Jinho mumbled, silently willing Hyunggu to the other side of the room. 

“Fine, Fine. You tuck that side in the rest of the way.” Hyunggu backed away with his hands up in surrender. Jinho did as instructed, confused as to why he wasn’t told to tuck the rest of the shirt in. “Perfect. Now let’s take care of your hair.” Hyunggu clapped his hands together with a big smile. Jinho was suddenly afraid. Hyunggu guided him over to the toilet and shut the lid, gently pushing him down to sit so he could work easier. 

The older watched as Hyunggu pulled a hair drier and at least three different bottles out from under the sink and sat them on the counter. The plug clicked into the socket easily and he started meticulously drying Jinho’s hair in specific directions. Before it was completely dry, he shut off the dryer and sat it back on the counter, reaching for a shiny green pump bottle. He pumped out a couple squirts of foam and rubbed his hands together. He carefully worked the foam through Jinho’s hair, adding a bit of volume before drying it completely on the coolest setting. As he finished drying his fringe, he took a round brush and worked it upwards, slightly sweeping it over to the side.

The next product Hyunggu used in his hair almost smelled like candy. He fingered through Jinho’s fringe and delicately pieced locks together to keep them styled. He ran the excess through the sides, to gently sweep back the hair. He stood back and smiled at his work. The younger quickly rinsed his hands and dried them before grabbing the last bottle and gently shaking it. The cap came off with a pop and he did a light, quick spray around Jinho’s entire head and one extra at his bangs to hold them in place. 

“Done.” He breathed and stood back. He gave Jinho a pleased grin as he was lost for words when he looked in the mirror. His hair wasn’t doing anything crazy, it was just more than he’d ever done to it himself. His bangs were swept up and over, exposing his forehead, but not completely. 

“Okay, I’ll admit. I like it.” Jinho said, turning his head in an attempt to see the styling at every angle.

“So this is probably a stretch, but I had an idea...” Jinho saw Hyunggu’s reflection hold up a small makeup bag in his hands with a feeble grin.

“No.”

“It won’t be anything crazy! I promise! It’ll look like you aren’t wearing makeup. I’ll just even out your skin tone and fill in your brows.” Hyunggu said in defense, pouting at Jinho’s quick refusal.

“If it’s not going to look like I’m wearing anything, then why wear it at all?” Jinho reasoned.

“Pleeeeeaaase? I swear girls like guys with nice eyebrows. Scouts honor.” The younger stood up straight and put a hand over his heart, pulling the most serious face he could manage.

“...You were never once in your life, a Boy Scout.” Jinho pointed out.

“It’s a figure of speech, just please let me do a light base and fill in your brows, Jinho. I swear I won’t do anything else.” Hyunggu pleaded. Jinho rolled his eyes, already knowing the younger wouldn’t give up until he got what he wanted.

“Fine.” He groaned and sat back down. Hyunggu laughed his airy, bubbly little laugh like always does when he got just what he wanted and unzipped his pouch. Jinho hope he wouldn’t go against his promise of doing only the minimal, natural stuff.

 

________

 

Jinho showed up at Hongseok’s door 27 minutes late, because, as he had hoped wouldn’t happen, Hyunggu broke his promise of doing the least amount of make up necessary. While he would admit, it did still look pretty natural, it was still more than he had agreed to. A dusting of brown eyeshadow at the outer corners of his eyes and the thinnest, barely noticeable line of eyeliner just above his lash line were not agreed upon, but they didn’t look _that_ terrible.

Shaking his head to bring himself out of his thoughts, he knocked on the door loudly. He could hear the chattering of the three men through the door and hoped his knocks were loud enough. When the undeniably familiar laugh of Hongseok grew louder and sounded closer, Jinho knew he’d been heard.

“Jinho! You’re h-“ Hongseok’s welcome was cut short as his eyes met the shorter man. He stared in surprise, slowly giving him a once over. He was stunned, wordlessly blinking at Jinho as he stood in the doorway.

 

“Are you gonna let him in or what?” Yan An yelled from inside the apartment. 

“Y-Yeah, Sorry. Come on in.” Hongseok stuttered as he stepped aside to let his friend past him. Jinho uttered a quick thank you as he walked through the door, still confused from Hongseok’s unexpected reaction. He stepped out of his shoes and left them next to the collection of noticeably larger pairs along the wall. 

“Sorry I’m late everyone.” He apologized as he met eyes with the other two inhabitants of the apartment.

“Wow.” Changgu breathed. Yan An let out a soft “Ah”, as if Hongseok’s pause from earlier suddenly made sense.

“Is... is something wrong?” Jinho tugged at his sleeve, skin burning under all of the gazes locked on him.

“No, no. I just... this is the first time I’ve... You look good. Like _really_ good.” Changgu struggled for words. Yan An quickly nodded in agreement.

“We gotta step up our game.” Yan An stated, face serious. “We can’t let Jinho be the only one looking that good at the party.” He turned to Changgu with a determined look in his eyes. Jinho was still trying to grasp how either of them could manage to look any better than they already do on a regular basis. Those two looked like they stepped straight off the runway with their perfect features and long legs. Why were all of his friends so tall and handsome? It really just wasn’t fair anymore.

“Hongseok you too, Oh? Where’d he go?” Yan An looked around the room, puzzled. Jinho turned back towards the entryway. Equally surprised to see that his friend was no longer there.

“Maybe he got intimidated.” Changgu said. “Or flustered. I’d be flustered if I opened the door to find Jinho looking this stunning on the other side.” 

“Hey. I’m sitting right here.” Yan An whined.

“Oh you know you’d be eyeing him too.” Yan An pursed his lips, unable to answer.

A quiet cough brought their attention to the other side of the room. Hongseok was standing there, scratching at his neck and looking at the floor.

“Sorry I vanished. Emergency bathroom break.”

“He got flustered.”

Jinho’s face heated up the same time he saw the rose start to dust Hongseok’s cheeks. He fidgeted with the woven bracelet around his wrist as he avoided Jinho’s gaze.

“But you missed what I had to say.” Yan An told him. “We all have to show up to the party looking just as good as Jinho or else it’s just not fair.”

“I don’t look _that_ great.” Jinho stated.

“No, shut up. You look hot and we were just going to go in t-shirts and hoodies. Now we have to try harder.” Yan An firmly countered, a finger jabbed in Jinho’s direction. 

“We still have almost two hours until the party, that should be enough time, right?” Changgu asked, addressing everyone in the room.

“That should be plenty. I’ll take care of the outfits. Changgu, could you take care of everyone’s make up? You’re the best at it.” Yan An asked. 

“I’ll do my best!” His boyfriend beamed.

“What should I do?” Hongseok spoke up, running a hand up and down his arm.

“Just cool down for now, even your ears are red.” The tall blond pointing it out just made Hongseok’s blush even darker. He clapped his hands to signal the start of their mission and made his way back to the bedrooms in long strides. What would have taken Jinho ten steps only took him four. Changgu hurried after him, most likely to gather his make up supplies. Jinho and Hongseok were left alone in the living room.

“I suffered because of Hyunggu for three hours to look this good. It’s not fair for all of you to look any better than usual since you three always look great.” Jinho grumbled. Hongseok lifted his head at Jinho’s words.

“What are you talking about? We don’t look any better than anyone else.” Hongseok cocked his head, eyes still unable to meet the shorter man’s. Jinho felt his jaw drop.

“Don’t look any better than anyone else, _my ass_!” He replied in exasperation. “You three look like professional models descendant from gods. Don’t give me that nonsense.” Hongseok’s mouth quirked up into an embarrassed smile at the flattery.

“Hongseok! Get in here!” Yan An called from down the hall. Hongseok whipped around and scrambled back to the bed rooms. Jinho didn’t have to guess who ran the show in the apartment. It didn’t surprise him since Yan An seemed to be the bossy type. He was naturally great at ordering people around, and them unquestionably going along with it. Changgu reemerged wearing a different outfit and carrying a large case in one hand and a couple hair clips in the other. He shot Jinho a smile before starting to set up at the small dining table near the window.

“Feel free to make yourself at home, we’ll probably be a while.” Jinho nodded and took a seat on the plush love seat Yan An had previously been sitting on. He looked Changgu up and down. A black and beige short sleeve button down, tight black jeans with one tear at the left knee, black socks. Not too threatening. But hair and makeup was still to come and that made Jinho nervous. He’d only ever seen Changgu with his cute, soft curls. 

He watched as Changgu prepped his face. One product. Two products. Four products. Six products. Jinho was suddenly thankful Hyunggu took it easy on him. Then, Changgu started foundation. It was light and didn’t look much different from his natural skin, just appearing more even and dewy. He dapped a warm red onto the center of his lips and rubbed them together, spreading the tint and making it much less intense. It really only gave them some color, tinting them a warm peach in the end rather than the bright crimson that came from the bottle.

Jinho turned his head as he heard to sound of a hair dryer from the bathroom. He was silently preparing to once again feel like the ugliest person in the room as the three got themselves ready. Unwilling to watch Changgu’s meticulous process any longer, he pulled out his phone, choosing to scroll through Twitter instead. His feed wasn’t filled with anything particularly interesting tonight, so he just kept mindlessly scrolling to give himself something to do. 

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes passed before the other two finally emerged. Jinho looked up, face immediately falling when he saw them. They already looked great. How upsetting.

“I did good, huh?” Yan An asked smugly as he struck a pose, showcasing his long, black slack clad legs. The pants hugged his legs and were cropped just above his ankles. A deep red dress shirt covered his upper half, the top three buttons purposely left undone. Two thin gold chains hung around his neck, with small matching gold hoops on each ear. His blonde hair was parted perfectly in the 7:3 ratio, a few selectively loose strands falling over his face. A long, black velvet coat was draped over one arm. That looked like a deadly combination. 

Then his eyes fell on Hongseok. To say he looked good was an understatement. Tight black pants with 2 zippers running across each thigh, a large, loose sweater, thin enough to see the impressions of whatever was just underneath, and a black suede biker jacket coolly resting on his shoulders. His hair looked wet and perfectly tousled. Jinho felt his throat go dry. Was this how Hongseok felt when he froze at the door?

“Perfect timing, who wants to go first?” Changgu asked happily. Jinho turned, equally stunned by his impressively seductive, yet subtle eye makeup. His eyes were rimmed with a thin line of smudged eyeliner, blended out into a faint reddish brown. Shiny copper eyeshadow was brushed under his eye, making his chocolate brown eyes shimmer. Yan An pushed Hongseok forward and laughed his high pitched laugh when Hongseok nearly toppled over. His jacket slid off his shoulders and onto the floor, pulling the collar of his sweater off to the side, exposing his collar bones. He was quick to straighten it back out when he stood up. Attempting to save whatever dignity he had left, he pulled a chair up to Changgu’s makeshift workstation and took a seat.

“What should I do?” Changgu asked as he paused before Hongseok, looking between Yan An and Jinho for answers. Yan An shrugged, for once unable to give his opinion on the matter.

“You should do what you did to your eyes but with a dark red at the edges.” Jinho suggested, unsure where that answer or thought came from. He had no opinions on makeup since he never wore it or did it himself. However, the image of Hongseok in dark red eyeshadow in his head was just... a really, _really good_ image. To hide the rising heat in his cheeks at the thought, he bent down to pick Hongseok’s jacket up off the floor.

“Ooh, I like that. Good idea, Jinho.” Changgu grinned brightly, readying the products for the makeup base. Hongseok chewed on his lip, nervously. Jinho guessed he wasn’t so used to the whole makeup thing either.

“I don’t have the right shade of foundation for you, so I’ll just use a primer and maybe thin out my darker B.B. cream.” Changgu explained as he squeezed a small drop of light green primer onto the space between his thumb and forefinger on the back of his hand. He gently dabbed dots across Hongseok’s face, under his eyes, around his nose, and on his chin and forehead. 

Jinho was watching the whole time, he really was, but at some point he admittedly zoned out. He blinked and suddenly Hongseok’s eyelids were being dusted with a translucent layer of shimmery gray. Changgu sat back as he opened his eyes. Jinho nearly choked. His eyes had been given the same treatment as Changgu’s but with burgundy at the outer corners of his eyes, coal gray blended into his tan skin on the upper lid and the same striking brush of copper on his bottom lid. He caught Jinho’s stare out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to face him. 

“Damn.” Jinho breathed. 

“Is it that bad?” Hongseok’s eyebrows furrowed. Oh god, Changgu filled those in too. They were sharp and deadly when his bangs moved to expose them. Yan An grinned at Jinho’s reaction.

“I think you got _him_ flustered this time.” The blonde cackled. Jinho quickly tore his eyes away at Yan An’s unreasonable statement. Why would he be flustered? Because Hongseok looked ungodly beautiful in makeup? Not possible. Jinho didn’t have those sorts of feelings for his friend. He didn’t like men.

“So it looks okay then?” Hongseok turned back to Changgu, who nodded happily. 

“You’re all done!” He smiled wide as Hongseok got up to find a mirror. “Okay, your turn Yan Annie!” He waved his partner over with his free hand.

“You’ve really improved.” He smiled in return as he walked over. “Hongseok looks great.” Changgu pouted.

“And I don’t?” He asked in an offended tone.

“No one will ever look as good as you.” The blond assured him and bent forward to peck a quick kiss onto his lips. The kiss made Changgu’s face burn red on contact. Jinho fake gagged at the couple. Yan An shot him a pouty glare and sat up straight.

“You made me fucking hot.” Hongseok said as he reentered the room. 

“I know I did.” Changgu smirked. “Okay, now hold still.” He placed a gentle hand on Yan An’s neck as he started to apply primer to his face. Jinho had watched the process twice and wasn’t up for seeing the two making heart eyes at each other, so he turned to Hongseok as he took a seat in a chair across from him. Suddenly, it was hard to speak. Hongseok grinned at him when he caught his gaze. 

“So, Uh. How’s it feel to be done with midterms?” Jinho asked, trying to keep his voice even.

“I don’t feel like I’m going to die from stress anymore.” Hongseok laughed. 

“That’s good.” Jinho let himself smile, finally getting used to the new look. “Any plans for the rest of the semester?”

“The daycare Changgu works at is looking for an extra hand, so I think I might apply. A job would really help me out with expenses for the summer classes I was hoping to take. Other than that, it just sort of depends on my workload in each class.” Hongseok replied. Jinho raised his eyebrows, he could see Hongseok easily fitting in as a daycare worker. Without the seductive eye makeup of course. “What about you? Isn’t your thesis coming up?”

Jinho really didn’t want to think about that right now. Today was about letting loose for once, not thinking about school.

“Ah.. Yeah. It is, isn’t it?” He scratched at the back of his neck. 

“But let’s not talk about school. It’s spring break! Your last spring break! Let’s start it out with a fun night, what do you say?” Hongseok clapped, quickly reading Jinho’s expression and trying to lighten the mood.

“I agree!” Yan An exclaimed from his seat in front of Changgu. The latter smiled and nodded in agreement. Jinho couldn’t help but grin. Thank goodness for his new, optimistic friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter held your attention! I’m not going to have the chance to update for maybe a week or two, so I wanted to go ahead and post what I had. The party scene will hopefully make for a longer chapter to make up for how short and anticlimactic this one was. Things are about to get crazy for these two, so buckle up kids we’re going on an adventure once I can update again.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, kind comments, and hits! I appreciate them all!
> 
> [EDIT: Next chapter should be posted sometime this week. Hopefully between Monday and Wednesday!]
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	5. Too Drunk To Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole gang arrives at the party, ready to get wasted, but not ready for the events that are about to unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since last update was sort of short and this one turned out a little shorter than I had anticipated, here’s some bonus info for any of you that were curious!:
> 
> *Character info*
> 
> —Jinho: 4th year music composition and production major, makes a meager income producing jingles for commercials. Picks up any odd jobs he can get over breaks and works at his family’s restaurant during the summer to afford tuition and rent. Took a gap year after high school to be able to save up money to attend college. Roommates with Hyunggu.
> 
> —Hongseok: 3rd year sports medicine major, will soon work at/works at a daycare with Changgu. Works at the gym over the summer, always helps with the kids summer programs. Also took a gap year after high school due to moving back to Korea after living overseas for a few years and needing time to readjust. Roommates with a Changgu and a Yan An. The mom friend.
> 
> —Hyunggu: 1st year dance major, parents are shamelessly paying for the majority of his living expenses. Got a full scholarship. Volunteers at nonprofit charity organizations because he really wants to work at one, but feels bad taking money from them. Roommates with Jinho.
> 
> —Hui: 3rd year music composition and production major, lives with Hyojong in an apartment a few streets away from Jinho and Hyunggu’s place. Works at the corner grocery to get by. Prefers his friends to call him Hui, claiming being called “Hwitaek” just makes him thing he did something wrong. The caring dad friend.
> 
> —Changgu: 3rd year psychology major, works at a daycare with Hongseok. Currently dating Yan An. Roommates with Hongseok and Yan An. Too soft for his own good. Only cursed twice in his life. Sweater hoarder.
> 
> —Yan An: 3rd year Pre-med major, works as the receptionist at his father’s cardiovascular medicine office back in Shanghai over the summer, parents sponsor him and are paying his way through school. Currently dating Changgu. Roommates with Changgu and Hongseok. 85% leg.
> 
> —Wooseok: 1st year undecided, unemployed. Roommates with Yuto. Still trying to figure out what to do with his life. Trying his best. Just a very large child. 
> 
> —Yuto: 1st year Foreign relations major, star of the baseball team. Attending college on a full sports scholarship. Works at the Japanese restaurant downtown to afford food. Roommates with Wooseok. Can’t function without warm tea from the tiny cafe by the school bookstore.
> 
> —Shinwon: 2nd year Film major, works at the school bookstore and nearly every work study job available, no one knows how he does it or when he sleeps. Goes to every open mic night in town with his trusty guitar. Has his own place but always ends up at Hui and Hyojong’s apartment for some reason. 
> 
> —Hyojong: No one knows what major he is. None of his classes relate to one another and he can’t give anyone a straight answer when they ask. Works at the pet shop down the street. Roommates with Hui. Tries to talk him into getting a cat at least once a week.
> 
> ——————
> 
> Okay, now back to the story! I hope you guys enjoy this and don’t think it’s too cheesy. Various idols make quick guest appearances because I felt like they fit in to this scene pretty well. They aren’t major characters, and only a couple will make another appearance later on! I just chose people I thought would fit into medical school well...

“Group picture before you three get fucked up!” Yan An cried out in a childish, gleeful manner. Jinho snorted when he waved his hands for them to gather together. They were all four huddled in the kitchen, already with beers in hand. It was crowded, but the house was spacious enough for it to not seem cramped, of which Jinho was incredibly thankful for. Students from the various majors chattered about and darted between the groups of people. There were students from all years here, first years all the way up to masters and onwards. 

They’d been greeted by an incredibly friendly and joyful man that his friends had greeted as “Hyunsik”. He was in his final years in the med program and would be taking the final round of testing to be fully licensed next year. He was clearly much older than many of the party goers by the way he carried himself, but he didn’t look much older appearance-wise. He left them to enjoy the party after giving them the whole welcoming script. Bottled drinks were in the kitchen, casual party was happening in the living room if you just felt like chatting. Wet bar was open downstairs, being manned by two of his friends, as well as the DJ for partiers who came to dance. Outside deck was open, but it’s still chilly outside so be sure to bundle up. Jinho smiled at the mom-like nature Hyunsik and Hongseok seemed to share. The only rules were: don’t break anything, don’t do anything your body can’t handle, don’t throw up on the furniture, and don’t die. Seemed like they’d be pretty easy to follow.

“Smile!” Yan An squeezed his long arm around all of them and positioned the phone to get them all in the frame. Jinho grinned wide enough to make his little nose scrunch up. They just got here and he could already tell he was going to enjoy himself. Changgu and Hongseok were throwing terrible puns at each other through the whole ride there, making Yan An and Jinho cringe and laugh uncontrollably at how cheesy they were. He and his friends hadn’t stopped smiling since they stepped through the door. Yan An snapped a few pictures as they all smiled as brightly as humanly possible. Hongseok pulled a face and crossed his eyes for the last one, making Jinho bust into laughter as he caught it on the phone screen. The flash made Changgu’s embroidered silk jacket light up. He looked like he was glowing. Yan An cooed at him about looking even more like an angel than usual. The other two playfully made gagging noises and the couple’s never ending flirting.

“Okay, Okay. Now a sexy photo because we all look hot. Especially me.” Yan An declared. Jinho furrowed his brows. What sort of face was he supposed to make? Who even takes “sexy” group selfies? He looked back up at the screen and felt his breath catch in his throat. Hongseok had craned his neck just slightly and stretched a mischievous smirk across his lips. The half-lidded stare he gave the phone was deadly. Jinho didn’t know why, but he suddenly didn’t want Hongseok going near anyone else looking like that. He had to stop his hand from reaching for his sleeve.

Changgu bit his bottom lip and Yan An glared into the camera. Jinho still had no clue what to do. He settled on the best smolder he could manage just before Yan An took the photo. Maybe he should start practicing in the mirror. It had been years since he’d looked at anyone or anything with bedroom eyes. The expression felt strange and foreign on his face. His roommate would be ashamed.

“Hey send those to the group chat, I wanna use one as my Twitter header.” Changgu said, tugging on Yan An’s arm. Jinho snorted at how big of a change that would be from his current header, photos from his and Yan An’s date at the dog cafe. He was surrounded by what had to be thirteen dogs, all begging for the treats Changgu had in his hands. Every time Jinho saw it, he could hear Yan An laughing joyfully on the other side of the camera.

“Okay, hang on just a second.” Yan An answered as he quickly completed the requested task. Changgu’s phone made a tinkling chime noise as he received the photos and Hongseok’s dinged in his back pocket. “Do you want me to send them to you too, Jinho?” 

“Hyunggu probably wants to see what we all looked like before getting hammered, so send ‘em my way.” Jinho laughed. Hongseok grinned down at him, the mention of his adopted son lighting up his face. The taller really doted on Hyunggu. Jinho was worried he was going to turn him into even more of a spoiled brat than he already was with the way he babied him. He shook his head at Hongseok’s bright smile and took a swig from his bottle. This was some of the highest quality beer he’d had in a while. It was probably way more expensive than what he usually bought. The thought of how much all this cost made Jinho shudder. Good thing this wasn’t his party.

“We’re blocking the drinks... we should probably move back into the living room.” Changgu pointed out. The others quickly agreed and shuffled out into the significantly darker and more populated room. The occupants were engaged in soft chatter, piled on couches and standing huddled in groups around the room. Most were dressed like they just left their apartment after a nap, only go so far as to throw on a pair of jeans. Some had put in similar effort as Jinho and the other three. As he scanned the crowd, he hoped they were dressed up for the same reason as he was.

“Hey, we can introduce you to some of our classmates!” Changgu excitedly grinned, already tugging Jinho towards a group of strangers. He stumbled along after the taller man as his other two friends trailed behind. Changgu greeted the students with a cheery smile, receiving quite a few in return.

“You made it!” One of them boasted joyfully and clapped him on the back. He had loosely curled black hair and was just as tall and handsome as his friends. Were all med students gorgeous? Was that a requirement for acceptance? Beside him stood a slightly calmer man with pink hair, it was parted slightly to the side, showing off his sharp eyebrows. He had a deep dimple in his cheek when he smiled. Next to him was a light brunette of about the same height. Their arms were pressed tight against each other, Jinho figured they had to be a little more than friends judging by their proximity. “Why do you guys look great, holy cow. Did I miss the memo to dress up?”

“Good to see you Seokwoo. There was no memo, we just felt like looking good.” Changgu chirped. Then he did his cute little wave to the other two. “Jaeyoon, Inseong, nice to see you two again, too!” He pulled Jinho forward and quickly introduced him. “This is Jinho, he’s a friend of ours. Fourth year in music composition and production. He tagged along with us tonight.”

“Hi Jinho, I’m Seokwoo. I’m classmates with Yan An.” The tallest, black haired man said, extending a hand. Jinho smiled and shook it, admiring his friendly smile. He was dressed pretty casually, white T-shirt, denim jacket, matching skinny jeans, and mustard canvas sneakers. Jinho internally groaned. It’s not like Seokwoo needed to try that hard to look great, anyway.

“And I’m Jaeyoon, Seokwoo’s old roommate. I’m in my first year going for my graduate medical degree, technically my fifth year altogether.” He happily shook Jinho’s hand as well. He was dressed in a white hoodie, yellow plaid flannel, and black jeans. He noticed he and the light brunette beside him were wearing matching black and white tennis shoes. Real subtle.

“I’m Jaeyoon’s current roommate, Inseong. I’m in my second year for masters in bioengineering. Nice to meet you.” His smile seemed slightly sleazy to Jinho, but he couldn’t quite place why. He shook Jinho’s hand over enthusiastically. The thick sleeves of his orange sweater bounced up and down on his arm as he did so.

“You can say partner, you know. Jinho’s not against it. I mean he puts up with us, for goodness sake.” Yan An snorted from behind Changgu. Jinho cracked an amused smile. They weren’t fooling him anyway. Inseong seemed at least as clingy as Changgu. The couple looked at each other and back at Jinho with bright smiles. Seokwoo rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“They’re hopeless.” He told Jinho. “Practically married.” Jinho chuckled. 

“They definitely bicker like a married couple.” Hongseok added. Inseong let out an offended gasp, dramatically placing a hand over his chest. Jaeyoon couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.

“Don’t be so surprised, even I can admit we bicker. You argued with me about which toilet paper brand was better at the grocery yesterday for twenty minutes.” Jaeyoon said as he elbowed Inseong in the side. 

“I’m telling you, you get one and a half times more per roll for the same price as what you always buy. I’m just trying to save you money.” He argued. That sent a rumble of amused laughter through the group. It was easy to fall into comfortable conversation with these three. They jumped from talking about music and what style Jinho hoped to make in the future, then to school, to living arrangements and how Seokwoo dealt with Jaeyoon and Inseong, and back to how Jinho met them all.

Inseong especially got a kick out of hearing about how large Hongseok’s already oversized shirt was on Jinho. He and Hongseok talked about how they had lots of things in common and got along well, not failing to mention how quickly Hongseok adopted Hyunggu to seemingly no one’s surprise. Yan An and Jaeyoon exchanged an odd glance that Jinho couldn’t decipher. Before he could ask, Seokwoo took a jab at Hongseok’s usual fashion sense, comparing it to how nicely dressed he was tonight. By the time they’d thoroughly roasted him for his tacky thrift store T-shirts, Jinho was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Apparently the cheesy puppy T-shirt he wore during their movie marathon night was infamous amongst the group for being the worst one of them all.

“They’re comfortable and affordable. Not all of us med students are made of money, you know.” Hongseok defended, taking a long drink from his bottle in mild frustration. “At least I don’t hoard sweaters like someone we know.” He shot a pointed look at Changgu. Yan An cackled as his boyfriend realized he’d just been called out. He gasped at him in surprise.

“He’s not wrong. How many do you even own at this point?” Jaeyoon asked Changgu. He fumbled for words as he attempted to defend himself.

“A perfectly reasonable amount.” Was all he managed to reply with, quickly chugging the last of his beer to avoid conversation.

“I’ve seen you wear a different sweater each day for a month and a half.” Seokwoo stated, raising an eyebrow.

“He has 37 sweaters.” Yan An answered, as if he had it dedicated to memory. He took a drink from the can he had in his hand. It was the first of his promised two drink limit, he was the designated driver after all. Changgu gaped at him, completely lost for words. Jinho burst into laughter at how easily Yan An had just exposed him.

“Oh my god. I had no idea you had that many.” Hongseok gasped.

“You have a problem.” Jaeyoon told him, a serious expression on his face.

“How do you even know how many I have?” Changgu countered.

“I did your laundry when you were sick that one time and counted because I was curious.” Yan An replied with a deadpan look on his face. Changgu shrunk a bit in defeat. 

“Okay, So Hongseok has bad taste in graphic tees and Changgu has a sweater addiction. What’s left to expose?” Jinho chuckled jokingly.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you in anything besides a sweatshirt.” Hongseok pointed out. All eyes settled onto Jinho.

“I own decent clothes. I just don’t have a reason to wear them.” He responded in absolute honesty.

“I relate to that.” Jaeyoon said. Inseong nodded in agreement.

“You used to dress up more.” Seokwoo said, turning to Jaeyoon. “You dressed like a stuck up rich kid before with blazers and sweaters and polos. Now you just stick to hoodies and button downs.”

“They’re easier to take off.” Inseong pointed out, a little too quickly. 

“Why are you always like this?” Seokwoo groaned in response.

“What, it’s true. He wore too many layers before. It took way too long to undress him.” 

Jinho noticed the pale dusting of pink over Jaeyoon’s cheeks as he took a drink from his bottle. 

“Maybe we should switch topics?” He offered, for Jaeyoon’s sake. Inseong didn’t seem too shy to share some intimate information and Jinho wasn’t sure he was ready to hear about it either.

“Ooooor, we can introduce you to some more people?” Changgu suggested, scouting out the other occupants of the living room. His face lit up as he caught sight of some more familiar faces.

“That works. It was nice meeting you three.” Jinho smiled, giving them a wave as Changgu pulled him towards another trio of students. The three returned his wave and goodbye with fond smiles. The next bunch of students Changgu pulled him over to were three _very_ nicely dressed girls giggling over glasses of wine. Jinho suddenly felt intimidated. 

“We’re not super close to them, but you see those two over there?” Changgu pointed in the direction of two men standing by a window laughing loudly over some unheard joke as they slowly wove their way through the groups of people. “The taller one with the dark brown hair is Dongmin. He’s in Yan An’s program but only in his second year. His roommate Moonbin is _super_ sweet. He’s in the veterinary program, but I guess he chose not to tag along tonight. The shorter one with the auburn hair is Jinwoo, he’s in his third year for pediatric medicine. They’re really nice, but we just don’t get the chance to interact with them much.” Jinho nodded as he took in the information.

“And then over there, those two really tall guys? They’re great too. The one that’s laughing really loud is Inseong. He’s really funny. He’s in the pediatric medicine major too, but he’s in his fourth year. Youjin, the other one, is in the same year and major as Jaeyoon. He’s kind of scary since he’s so quiet, but he’s actually really nice too.” Jinho couldn’t help but stare. He wondered if they were even taller than Yan An or Hyunggu’s friend Wooseok. They were practically giants. Perfectly proportioned giants.

“And then....” he scouted around the room for any other familiar faces. “The girl with the bright red hair over there is Heeyeon. She’s a year above Jaeyoon and Youjin. And the shorter girl over there is Sejeong, she’s one of Yan An’s classmates too.” Jinho tried to retain the names, but quickly gave up after remembering he probably won’t see them again. Changgu stopped tugging him along when they reached the three girls he’d been headed for.

“Hey! Changgu!” The girl in the middle exclaimed and welcomed him with a hug and a smile. He returned the enthusiastic greeting and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. When they pulled away from each other, her round eyes immediately settled on Jinho. “Oh? Who’s your friend?” Her voice wasn’t high pitched like most girls’, it was smooth and reminded Jinho of dark chocolate. He didn’t want to be _that_ person while being introduced to his friends’ classmates, but _god_ was this girl gorgeous.

“I’m Jinho, fourth year music composition and production student.” He extended a hand and polite smile. The girl let her lips curl upwards and accepted the handshake. 

“Very nice to meet you, Jinho.” She didn’t even bother to hide the way her dark eyes shamelessly gave Jinho a once over. “I’m Seungyeon, third year psychology student. I’m Changgu’s classmate.” Jinho’s eyes fell on her bright red lips as she gave him a calculated smile. When his eyes snapped back up to meet hers, he had a feeling she was interested in the exact same thing.

“Let’s get you acquainted with the others, shall we?” Changgu asked, placing a hand on Jinho’s shoulder to catch his attention. “This is Seunghee, she’s a fourth year psychology student.” He directed his hands towards the sweet, roundfaced girl to Seungyeon’s right. She smiled and waved with her free hand. She was in head to toe black with pointed leather boots and a puff sleeve blouse. The exact opposite of Seungyeon’s short, tight leather miniskirt, shiny black bomber jacket, and red satin crop top. Simple, flattering and elegant. Gemstone earrings dripped from her ears and delicate rings adorned nearly every finger. The look suited her well.

“And this is Yeeun, first year psychology student.” Changgu moved his hand to the stick thin girl with chin length black hair to Seungyeon’s left. She was dressed in a black double breasted top with shiny black buttons, short shorts and pointed blue suede boots. She seemed to be the shyest of the group, only managing a small wave. 

“Nice to meet you, Jinho.” Seunghee smiled over her glass.

They went through a similar pattern of conversation as with the previous group. Going through the whole how they met story once more and ending up at ridiculous childhood stories. As one of Yan An’s stories started to drone on, Seungyeon initiated a separate conversation with Jinho. He was happy to go along as they pulled a little ways away from the others. They chatted for a long while before Seungyeon started to play with the metal buttons on Jinho’s sleeve, obviously flirting at this point. Jinho flirted back easily, only encouraging her more. The sound of Hongseok clearing his throat pulled his attention away from the exchange.

“I’m going to go get another beer, does anyone else want one?” He asked the group. Jinho furrowed his brows. Hongseok’s voice sounded strained.

“I’ll take one!” Changgu chirped, hanging off Yan An’s arm.

“I’d like one too, if you don’t mind.” Jinho said, smiling at his friend. 

“Me too.” Seungyeon added.

“Sure.” Hongseok said before turning on his heel. Yan An’s eyes trailed after him with a frown before shooting a quick side glance at Jinho. He just shook his head in confusion.

“That’s nice of him to offer.” Seungyeon stated, eyeing Jinho.

“Yeah.” Jinho turned back to her as she walker her fingers up his arm.

“When he comes back with the drinks, do you wanna go downstairs?” She whispered, lips brushing his ear. The touch made his skin prickle with electricity.

“I’d love to.”

A burst of bell-like laughter grabbed their attention. Yeeun was doubled over in laughter. Changgu and Yan An looked like they were trying to fight back a fit of giggles as Seunghee looked between them with a smug smile. Seungyeon giggled at them in amusement. It easily bubbled up out of her throat and brought a smile to Jinho’s face.

 

Tonight was going great so far.

 

Why did he ever doubt Hyunggu?

 

“Here’s your drinks.” Hongseok said flatly as he returned and held the bottles out to the two.

“Thank you!” Seungyeon said, happily accepting both bottles. Hongseok stood there a moment, watching them, before bringing Changgu his beer. Seungyeon gave him a funny look and handed Jinho one of the bottles. He accepted it with a quick glance at Hongseok. A tug at his sleeve brought his eyes back to Seungyeon. She nodded her head toward the stairs eagerly. He let himself be pulled along much like Changgu had done to him earlier, but _much_ more willingly. As they reached stairs, his eyes wandered back to Hongseok, who was watching them over his shoulder. It’s not like he was going to die of loneliness if they got separated, he had the others to stay with him. Why should Jinho be worried?

Seungyeon tugged on his sleeve again. Realizing he’d stopped at the top of the stairs, he quickly turned around with a grin, following her down the steps. Halfway down and he could already feel the music pounding in his chest. The loud bass resounded through the room. It was lit with neon lights and strategically placed, dimmed ring lights hung on the walls. It was light enough to see, but too dim to make out details of faces from more than a few feet away. Plush couches and ottomans lined the walls along with speakers tucked into every corner. The crowd in the center of the room bounced and slithered along with the music. 

With bottles in hand, they joined at the edge of the dance floor. Intending not to spill anything, they kept their dancing simple and swaying. Jinho was a bit rusty, but it didn’t take him long to be able to follow along to the music with ease. Having a dance major as your roommate had its perks after all. Seungyeon threw an arm around his neck and pulled him closer. They swayed in tune to the R&B track booming from the speakers. 

They fell into a cycle of dancing, drinking, repeat. It continued until they were pressed against each other in the center of the throng of people, unable to keep their hands to themselves. Jinho had an arm hooked around Seungyeon’s waist as she moved her hips side to side against him. The music changed to a brassy club beat and a wicked grin stretched across her face. With one swift movement she dropped down and slowly slid back up to face Jinho, dragging a hand up his leg all the way to his neck before leaving a long, hot breath on his skin. He craned his neck so that their faces were centimeters apart. A quick glance with his eyes towards the couches and they were weaving their way through the swarm of bodies. 

Jinho’s mouth was on Seungyeon’s neck before they even made it to the couch. His legs buckled as they hit the edge of the cushions and they fell into them with Seungyeon straddling his thighs. Her lipstick felt slick over his skin as their lips eventually met. The kiss was greedy, hungry. Jinho felt himself smile into it as she chewed at his bottom lip. Eagerly, his fingers slid up Seungyeon’s thigh, playing through the holes in her fishnet tights.

A satisfying warmth spread over his skin. A happy hum rumbled in his throat. Lips were quickly traded for tongues and he could taste cocktail and wine Seungyeon drank earlier. The mixture tasted like grapes and sour cherries as he explored. Her perfectly manicured nails raked through the hair at his nape and he pulled her closer by the waist. As she moved to his jaw, he felt the lipstick smudge across the corner of his mouth. Her long eyelashes fluttered over his neck, sending goosebumps across his skin.

Movement caught his eye as his breath hitched. He could make out a giggly Changgu in the throng of people. The other four slowly entered his line of vision. Seunghee and Hongseok were dancing together in the most ridiculous way he had ever seen. A laugh bubbled up from his throat, easily making its way out with no resistance thanks to the alcohol. Not even the weight of a girl in his lap could stop his amusement.

“Are you ticklish?” Seungyeon breathed, barely audible over the music. Jinho shook his head and pointed in the direction of the dance floor. Seungyeon turned her head and let out a “pfffft” as she caught sight of the two. “That’s such a turn off, but god it’s funny.” She cackled. The statement made Jinho realize they were still in a very public space. It was probably for the best that Hongseok’s terrible dancing had distracted him before he got... _too excited_.

Seungyeon slid off his lap and tugged him back to the dance floor with a smile. He did his best to wipe the lipstick off his mouth with the back of his hand and catch his breath as she pulled him back to their friends. Changgu welcomed them back with a wobbly hug and his biggest boxy grin. Yan An was too busy filming what Jinho guessed was more blackmail of Hongseok’s terrible drunken dancing to notice. He wasn’t sure if Hongseok and Seunghee were trying to do the robot or just jerking their bodies around to the music. They suited each other, in Jinho’s opinion.

Seungyeon pulled Yeeun over to join in. She seemed hesitant at first, but happily danced after words of encouragement from the others. She and Changgu did this cute point and sway thing that other partiers started imitating out of amusement. 

“Jinho!” Hongseok exclaimed and grabbed his arm. He must have just noticed he was there. “You came!” His grip was firm, a little too firm for someone as drunk as he was right now in Jinho’s opinion. But then again, he knew under that goofy grin and sparkly eyes that Hongseok was ripped.

“I came with you to the party, Hongseok.” He laughed as the taller man pulled him over to join him and Seunghee. 

“No, no you came back to me.” Hongseok said with a lilt to his voice.

“Of course I would.” Jinho replied easily. That made Hongseok’s smile widen until his eyes crinkled up in the corners. He tugged Jinho along into a weird skip, turn sort of thing. Jinho didn’t fight it and just went along. As they were about to do their third turn, the song changed. He noticed the people around them stop and stare behind the pair. Jinho turned his head to find what they were looking at. Hyuna’s “Lip and Hip” was blaring from the speakers as Seungyeon danced to the start of the song. Jinho held his breath at how dangerously short her skirt was. Some of the onlookers whistled. She shot a smirk at Jinho.

When the first verse started, she strutted towards his direction. He felt a hand on his shoulder as the song was about to transition into the chorus. Hongseok slipped past him and threw his hands into the air with each beat, somehow following Seungyeon’s exact moves. She looked surprised, but welcomed the dance partner regardless. They were able to perfectly reenact the part of the choreography where the dancers lean on each other with the addition of Hongseok. 

More people turned to watch and cheer as the two danced. Jinho stared in confusion at where the awkward, drunken, prancing Hongseok went. Why could he suddenly dance so well? He wasn’t sure who to look at, Seungyeon who was absolutely killing the dance, or Hongseok who was able to keep up with her. And when did Hongseok’s ass start looking so nice in those jeans? He shook his head, blaming it on those last few shots he had earlier that were just starting to hit him.

Two thirds of the way through the song, Seungyeon drug Jinho into the center. He panicked, unsure what to do since he didn’t know the dance. Seungyeon and Hongseok dropped down on either side of him and slowly stood up, hips first. Their breath brushed over both sides of his face from how close they were. He felt the hair on his neck stand on end and his heart beat dangerously fast in his chest. The crowd went crazy hooting and hollering at the scene. He thought he was going to combust from the heat rising in his cheeks. Seungyeon stepped around to face him directly, arms draped over his shoulders, moving her hips in time with the “uh uh” part of the chorus.

They pushed the flustered Jinho back into the wall of people to clear the floor and finished up with the end of the song. After the last beat, the crowd gave a round of applause. Hongseok and Seungyeon bust out into half embarrassed, half flattered laughter as the opening that had been made on the dance floor returned to its original size as people started to dance once more.

“That was incredible.” Changgu told them in awe.

“Thank you.” Seungyeon said, flipping her high ponytail out of her face and over her shoulder with her hand.

“When the fuck did you learn how to dance like that?” Jinho sputtered at Hongseok. “You were terrible a moment ago!” Hongseok patted his back and laughed.

“Shh. It’s a secret.” He replied, leaning his weight onto Jinho as he held a finger up to his lips. The shorter turned back to Seungyeon, suddenly too flustered to meet his friend’s gaze.

“That was really hot, by the way.” He said in a lower voice, so just she could hear. She giggled and pulled him in for a kiss. Seunghee over enthusiastically cheered from behind, her cheeks red from the alcohol. Jinho pulled Seungyeon closer by the waist and smiled against her lips. 

“Watching them wore me out, I gotta sit down.” Changgu said, already dragging Yan An towards the couches. He stumbled a bit along the way. “Woo, I feel dizzy.”

“It’s because you had way too much to drink as usual you lightweight idiot.” Yan An informed him. Hongseok scrambled out of the crowd to join them.

“Me too.” Seunghee nodded and followed after them, Yeeun trailing close behind.

“Wanna go sit down?” Seungyeon asked. Jinho nodded, eyes still locked on her lips. He felt dizzy and lightheaded and why was he breathing so hard? 

She led him by the hand out of the crowd and to the couches their friends were piled onto. She pushed him down into the empty seat beside Hongseok and threw her legs over his lap. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, but all he could feel was the warmth of Hongseok’s thigh against his. A hand sliding up his chest brought his eyes back up to Seungyeon’s, which were intently staring at his slightly parted lips. 

“Seungyeonnie~!” Seunghee slurred as she leaned against the armrest of the couch next to theirs. Seungyeon snapped her head around, just barely hearing her name over the music. Her smile was filled with a drunken fondness for her friend, despite interrupting her moment with Jinho.

“Go with me to get another drink, I can’t walk straight in my heels anymore.” The older girl pouted. Seungyeon rolled her eyes, but crawled out of Jinho’s lap anyway.

“I gotta pee.” Changgu suddenly interrupted, practically throwing himself off the couch. The four turned to him as he took a few wobbly steps before looking back at Yan An like a lost puppy.

“I’ll help you, hang on you hopeless drunk.” He sighed, taking his boyfriend’s hand and leading him towards the bathroom. Seungyeon shook her head in amusement and swiveled back around to Seunghee.

“Okaaay Seunghee.” She said, squishing the other girl’s cheeks. She turned to Jinho and Hongseok. “Do you want anything from the bar?”

“I’ll take whatever you choose.” Jinho replied, suddenly missing her weight in his lap. 

“Rum, please!” Hongseok grinned, leaning towards the two girls, pressing his chest against Jinho’s arm. Jinho thought he should cut him off, but the words just didn’t make their way out of his mouth to stop him. His limited attention span was focused on how close the taller man was.

“Okay, be back soon. Come on, Seunghee~” She helped the unsteady Seunghee off the couch and threw her arm over her shoulders, not so stealthily stumbling on the way to the bar. Yeeun hurriedly trailed after them, probably feeling responsible as the designated driver between the three. None of them needed any more alcohol in their system. At this point they all knew that, but they were too drunk to care. Jinho was just thankful he was still buzzed enough not to fall asleep just yet. All the contact was keeping him completely alert, unlike his usual, sleepy, drunk self.

He turned his head when he noticed the weight of Hongseok against his arm still remained. His heart skipped a beat at how close their faces were. Hongseok was staring at him with this soft, slightly sad expression on his face. Jinho felt defenseless and frozen. The soft pout on Hongseok’s lips made him feel guilty, but he wasn’t sure what for. He smelled like hard liquor and the cedar wood cologne he put on before they left the apartment.

“I-I’m sorry.” He sputtered, suddenly feeling the need to apologize. Hongseok furrowed his eyebrows.

“I don’t like Seungyeonnie.” He whined, almost too quiet to hear over the booming bass.

“Why not? She’s nice.” Jinho replied.

“I’m nicer.” Hongseok pouted, resting his chin on Jinho’s shoulder.

“You’re nice too.”

“How nice?”

“Really nice.”

“Really nice?”

“Yeah, really nice.”

“Do you like people who are really nice?”

“Well, I don’t like people who aren’t nice.”

Hongseok paused, staring hard at Jinho.

“So you like really nice people?” He asked.

“Yes.” Hongseok’s eyes softened even further at Jinho’s answer.

“Do you like me?” He continued.

“I like you, you’re my friend.”

“We’re friends?” The corners of Hongseok’s mouth curled downward.

“Good friends.” Jinho told him, confused at his reaction.

“I don’t want to be friends.” Hongseok answered, gently shaking his head.

“What do you mean?” Jinho asked, too drunk to catch on.

“I don’t want to be friends anymore.” Hongseok retorted, with a slight whine to his voice.

“You don’t like me?” Jinho was starting to get sad. He didn’t want to lose his best friend while he was drunk. What could he have done to make Hongseok not like him?

“I don’t like Seungyeonnie.” Hongseok’s answer was firm, but it didn’t make sense to Jinho.

“Why don’t you like Seungyeon?”

“She’s a thief.” He pinched his brows together in an unconvincing expression of anger.

“What did she steal?” Jinho was utterly lost. Hongseok stared at him for a few seconds, that sad look back in his eyes.

“You.”

Was Hongseok mad just because Seungyeon drug Jinho away during the party? Did he really want to stay together the whole party that badly? Surely not. That seemed too childish for Hongseok.

Jinho blinked at his his friend. 

“Don’t date.”

“W-what?” Jinho asked, once again confused.

“Please don’t date.”

“Why can’t I date?”

“I’ll be sad.”

“Why... why would you be sad?”

“Because I don’t want you to date.” Hongseok answered, eyes glassy at the thought.

“Why not? What if I want to date?” Jinho pressed, hoping to get a better answer.

Hongseok stayed silent. His eyes slid down to Jinho’s lips before flicking back up to meet his eyes. He lifted his head off of Jinho’s shoulder, but stayed the same distance away from his face. Jinho saw his chest rise in a deep inhale. The exhale was shaky and shallow. He looked nervous, unsure.

“Why-“ Jinho tried to ask again, but stopped as he felt Hongseok’s warm hand against his neck. 

His long fingers buried themselves in the hair at his nape and his thumb brushed against his cheek. Hongseok’s eyes shot back to Jinho’s lips before he leaned in. Jinho held his breath. His shoulders stiffened when their lips met. He felt another hand heavy against his thigh as Hongseok used it for support. It was different than Seungyeon’s kiss. It wasn’t hungry. Wasn’t heated. Wasn’t sticky from lipstick. It was soft. It was warm. It was a drunken confession Jinho hadn’t expected.

The weird feeling in the pit of his stomach was just as unexpected. It kept him from pulling away. It made his eyes flutter closed as Hongseok’s lips slid against his. It made everything feel fuzzy and surreal. It made him feel like he was melting. Jinho balled the thin knit of Hongseok’s sweater into his fist, gently tugging at it. It felt wrong after just kissing Seungyeon moments ago. It didn’t feel like he was allowed to be doing this. He didn’t like guys, so shouldn’t he only kiss girls? The thoughts didn’t stop him from letting Hongseok kiss him anyway.

Hongseok pulled away, barely more than two centimeters away from Jinho. The smaller sucked in a sharp breath, brain suddenly screaming for oxygen. He cracked eyes open just before Hongseok tilted his head and once again closed the distance between them. Jinho couldn’t explain why he kissed him back, but he did. Hongseok shifted on the couch, bending his long legs to scoot as close to Jinho as he could. He cupped the other man’s cheek with his other hand, softly running his thumb over the protrusion of bone he could feel just below the skin.

Jinho craned his neck to meet Hongseok’s lips, the man still towering over him even when sitting down. He let his hands play with the taller’s sweater, clenching and releasing his fist around handfuls of the soft fabric. He couldn’t hold back the upward curl of his lips as Hongseok placed a feather-light kiss on the corner of his mouth. He trailed down to his jaw and pressed his lips against the soft skin just below his ear. 

A shocked gasp made Jinho’s eyes crack open. Seungyeon was standing a few feet away, drinks in hand and Seunghee hanging off her arm. Her face was scrunched up in anger. Jinho frowned, guilt washing over him as he saw Seungyeon and the surprise on the other two girl’s faces. He sucked in another sharp breath as Hongseok’s lips latched onto his neck, trapping the words deep in his throat. All he could do was watch as Seungyeon scowled and turned on her heel. Seunghee continued to stare at them wide eyed, as Seungyeon pulled her towards the stairs.

Jinho gritted his teeth. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should go apologize. It was the right thing to. He didn’t like men. He shouldn’t be making out with his best friend. He shouldn’t be responding this way as he sucked on his neck. He shouldn’t like the way his lips felt against his skin. His heart shouldn’t be beating this fast. His stomach shouldn’t be doing flips. But he didn’t resist when Hongseok pulled him in for another kiss. He only kissed him deeper and more desperately in return.

Even as his only chance of the night to get laid stomped up the stairs, he couldn’t bring himself to follow after her. Maybe he was just too drunk to care. 

 

______

 

Jinho groaned as an arm tugged him down the hallway by his waist. He felt heavy and groggy and really wanted to be doing anything but walking at this very moment. The light hurt his eyes too much to open them, so he opted for keeping them scrunched tightly closed rather than having any idea of who was practically dragging him and where.

“Goodness you’re heavy.” A voice grunted. Jinho thought it sounded like Changgu. He tried to defend his weight, but all he could manage were a couple groans of frustration. They stopped and he heard a knock. A few minutes passed and he heard the knock again, this time a bit louder. Then a couple more minutes and an even louder knock. After some shuffling behind the door, it creaked open and he heard a soft “oh”.

“Hey Changgu.” Hyunggu yawned.

“Sorry if I woke you up at this ungodly hour, but we couldn’t find Jinho’s keys and Hongseok won’t stop whining unintelligibly about something. We found them both passed out on the floor at the party when we went to leave. Me and Yan An couldn’t handle both of these two once they woke up. I have a terrible headache and Yan An is just too short tempered to deal with more than one incredibly hungover person at a time. So I hope it’s not too much trouble for me to just drop him off at home. You weren’t answering your phone and we weren’t sure what to do.” Changgu explained.

“Oh, no, it’s no trouble. Jinho has to put up with my friends dumping me here when I’m drunk, so it’s only fair.” Hyunggu’s sleepy voice said. “C’mere Jinho.” He said before taking him from Changgu.

“Thanks, Hyunggu. You got him?” He asked.

“Yeah I got him. Thanks for bringing him home safe.” He grunted as he shifted Jinho’s arm around his shoulders. 

“It’s no problem. Have a nice night.” Jinho could picture Changgu’s tired wave in his head. He remembered the soft voiced man admitting he was a lightweight before the party and wondered why he wasn’t nearly as hungover as he was. Maybe he was already buzzed after those first two bottles of beer and was smart enough to stop before his third. Hyunggu shut the door and led Jinho into the apartment. He felt Hyunggu’s flannel pajama pants brush against his leg through the rips in his jeans. The younger helped him down onto the plush couch and out of his denim jacket. The movement made him dizzy and he held onto Hyunggu’s shoulder.

“You’re an absolute mess right now.” Hyunggu sighed, pushing Jinho’s bangs out of his eyes. “How much did you drink?” He untied his shoes and slid them off his feet, sitting them beside the couch. 

“I don’t know. Everything hurts.” Jinho groaned in reply. He slumped over and buried his head in the crook of Hyunggu’s neck, hoping to block out the bright light. The younger wrapped his arms around him and pat his back.

“So it was a bad night?” Hyunggu asked softly. Jinho nodded his head. He couldn’t remember much of it, truthfully. He just remembered what it felt to have Seungyeon in his lap, her lips against his, and her stomping away from him but not the reason why. He just knew he messed up somehow.

“I’m sorry it didn’t go so well. Let’s get you something comfier to wear.” Hyunggu gently pushed Jinho back into the cushions and patted his leg before getting up to get him a change of clothes. He came back with a big T-shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants. Quietly, he helped Jinho change and threw the clothes that smelled like beer and sweat into a pile next to his shoes. The shorter was too hungover to feel self conscious about it, not even bothering to hide the dark red and purple bruises littered across his neck and shoulders. 

“Do you want to wash your face? You’ve got lipstick stains that might stay there for a while if we don’t at least try to wipe them off.” Hyunggu told him, gently brushing a couple fingers over his cheek to check if one of them was a bruise. Jinho groaned and covered his face with his hands. He hated lipstick. Why did it have to be so messy? What was the purpose? Why did so many girls wear the kind that stained clothes and skin?

“I’ll go get a wash cloth, you hold tight.” Hyunggu got up once again and padded back to the bathroom. Jinho heard the water run from the faucet and the squeak of the knob as it was turned off. Hyunggu reemerged from the hallway with a bowl of warm water and a clean wash cloth in hand. The bowl clinked against the glass table top as he sat it down on the coffee table. Jinho pouted as the younger wiped at his face with the warm, wet cloth.

“Oh, don’t pout. You’ll feel better after I clean you up.” Hyunggu said, dipping the cloth back into the water and wringing it out. He ran the warm towel over Jinho’s forehead and neck, wiping the skin sticky with sweat until it was clean. He sat back on his heels and drew his lips into a line.

“How bad is your headache on a scale from one to ten?” He asked. Jinho hummed as he tried to do the simple math. 

“Nine?” He answered, resting his head in his hands.

“Okay, I’ll try to find something strong enough.” Hyunggu left the room once again. Jinho glared at the wall with a pout as he heard the younger rustling through the cabinet in the kitchen where they kept all of their medicine. Pill bottles rattled as he took them out to read each label. He was pretty sure most of the over the counter medications were expired, but he never bothered to go out and buy any replacements. Jinho ran his hands down his face, grumbling to himself about how dumb he was to drink as much as he did. He just wanted to hibernate for thirty years and forget tonight ever happened.

“Okay, this is all I could find. We really need to check the expiration dates more often.” Hyunggu said as he came back, reading the directions on the white bottle. “And you should really drink something. You probably feel like this because you didn’t drink enough water.” He sat a large bottle of water down on the table next to the washcloth and bowl of now lukewarm water.

 _Joke’s on you, I was a dumbass and didn’t drink_ any _water._ Jinho thought.

“It says to take two of these every four hours, so don’t be even more stupid and take more than that. If this doesn’t help in four hours, come wake me up and I’ll go to the store and find the extra strength version.” Hyunggu handed Jinho two pills and cracked open the lid on the water bottle before handing him that too. Jinho nearly gagged as he swallowed them. In an attempt to fight back the coughing, he chugged half the water. He quickly decided it was a mistake after it instantly made him feel waterlogged and more nauseous than before.

“Not so fast there. You need water, but not that much that quickly.” Hyunggu softly warned. Jinho nodded and sat the bottle back on the table. “Do you wanna just sleep here tonight?” His roommate asked. Jinho nodded, eager to be swallowed by sleep. “I’ll get your pillow and a blanket.”

Jinho watched him leave, feeling guilty for all the care he was receiving. He didn’t deserve a roommate like Hyunggu. Even though he was a spoiled brat, he was still the sweetest, most caring person he knew. He was only so spoiled because everyone loved him and babied him so much. He could be a little wild, but he’d easily drop everything just to help someone if they needed it. Jinho quietly thanked whatever higher power made their families such good friends and brought Hyunggu into his life.

“Here you go.” Hyunggu hurriedly dropped his pillow onto the couch and wrapped Jinho up in the thick blanket. Jinho plopped down onto his side, face buried in the pillow. Hyunggu crossed his arms and gave him a pity filled smile. He ruffled a hand through the older’s hair and chuckled quietly when he groaned. “Goodnight, Jinho. I’ll try to be quiet in the morning. Sleep well.”

He stood up and turned off the lights, leaving the living room for the final time tonight. Jinho rolled over and let out a long breath. It had been a very, very long night.

 

______

 

“Good afternoon, sunshine.” Hyunggu said in a soft, singsong voice as Jinho entered the kitchen. “Sleep well?”

“My head still hurts.” He grumbled in reply, yanking open the fridge to look for something to drink.

“Then you should drink some more water and not anything with caffeine. You’re probably dehydrated.” Hyunggu said in a reprimanding tone. Jinho pouted and grabbed the pitcher filled with filtered water before closing the door in defeat. The younger pulled a glass out of the cabinet and handed it to him. He poured himself a glass and sat down at the kitchen counter.

“Oh, and after you finish that, go shower and get ready. I know a place that makes really good hangover stew. You still look like you could use some.” Hyunggu said, not looking up from his phone as he scrolled through the online menu.

“Can’t I just go back to bed?” Jinho whined.

“Changgu texted me earlier that he forgot to mention you probably threw up the entire contents of your stomach on the way over last night, so no. We need to get some food in you before it just makes you even more sick to your stomach.” Hyunggu reasoned. Jinho stuck out his bottom lip but stayed silent. He could tell by the tone of Hyunggu’s voice he wasn’t going to let it go until he managed to drag Jinho outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we all get to wait and see what happens next! Will Jinho ever get to go back to bed? Will we ever know what Hongseok was drunkenly babbling about in the backseat of Yan An’s car? Will literally any other members actually make an appearance? Only time will tell! 
> 
> I’ve got a crazy week ahead and only managed to finish this up today because I was too brain dead from my exam to do much else... so, no clear time frame for the next update. Reasonably, it should be sometime in the next two weeks.
> 
> I’m considering including Hongseok’s POV in the next chapter, do you dear readers think that would throw off the flow of the story? And also, what do you all want to see as this new conflict in the plot progresses? Do you want it to stay soft and flustered and over all drama free? Or do you want me drop in some angst? I have an idea for either but I can’t decide if I really have the heart to hurt either of these two, even if it’s only a little.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments! I’m struggling!
> 
> And as always, thank you for the kudos and love! Hope you are all having a lovely day/night!
> 
> [Edit: Thank you to those who gave me feedback and asnswers to my question! I’m trying really hard to write out this next chapter, but in my major finals last for nearly 2 months and I’ve been dying under the weight of all my assignments so by the time I have time to write I get one paragraph down before I just fall asleep because I’m so tired. I’ll try to get the next chapter soon, just please know I haven’t abandoned it, I’m just going crazy because of school!]
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	6. Week After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinho doesn’t like to deal with things, feelings and people included.
> 
> It’s funny how life still throws the very things he’s avoiding right at him when he least expects it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! HAPPY LATE JINHO & HONGSEOK DAY! Like I’d warned before, finals are here for me and death by deadlines is eminent. I managed to whip up this chapter over the course of the last few weeks and though it’s a bit short, I wanted to post it since you’ve all waited so patiently already.
> 
> As usual, if you catch any errors that I missed, please let me know! I hope you enjoy this update (I apologize to those who didn’t want angst, it’ll only last for around two chapters, so don’t worry too much! Just bear with me!).

Jinho bolted upright in his bed. The series of events from last night, finally coming back to him. He drew his knees up to his chest and covered his mouth with both hands.

 

 

Hongseok kissed him last night.

 

 

And Jinho kissed him back. _Really_ kissed him back. Enough to know what every inch of his oral cavity tasted like.

The exact timeframe of the kiss was still a little hazy, but he knew it was longer than what he’d kissed Seungyeon. That, and he was pretty sure most of the bruises littered across his skin didn’t come from her either. But what really made him panic, was how he felt through the whole ordeal. He hadn’t tried to pull away. There wasn’t even a single thought in his mind of of pushing Hongseok away. Was it the alcohol?

He sat there, dumbfounded and slightly panicked in the dark of his room. What was he supposed to do when he drunkenly made out with one of his best friends who just so happened to be a man? He tugged at the hair on the sides of his head. He was confused and flustered and absolutely afraid. He couldn’t help but fear the possibility of that kiss being the end of their friendship. Just meeting Hongseok would be awkward now. Jinho had no clue if Hongseok even liked men. He’d never brought it up. So does he like men? Or was he just really drunk? Did the kiss actually mean that Hongseok liked him? 

With a groan, he let himself fall back onto the mattress. He drug his hands over his face, stressed over what he should do with this recovered knowledge. One single mistake and it felt like his life was falling apart. His face felt like it was going to melt right off his skull, it felt so hot. He kicked the blankets off and rolled over against the cool surface of the wall. He wanted to yell profanities out his window, but the thought of all the noise complaints he’d get held him back. Out of absolute desperation, he grabbed his phone and quickly opened the messenger app.

 

From Jinho:  
Are you awake

From Jinho:  
Please be awake

From Jinho:  
I’m having a crisis

 

He furiously tapped away at his phone screen, begging his best friend to answer. Seven texts later, his messages showed as read and the small typing bubble popped up in the corner.

 

From Hui:  
What’s happening? Are you okay? 

From Jinho:  
I kissed Hongseok

From Jinho:  
I mean we were both really drunk and he kissed me first but I only remembered just now and

From Hui:  
??????????

From Jinho:  
I DONT KNOW

From Jinho:  
I don’t know what happened we were talking and waiting for Seungyeon to get back with the drinks and Changgu to get back from the bathroom and then Hongseok kissed me and I missed my chance to get laid because Seungyeon saw and I didn’t do anything about it and I kissed Hongseok back and I mean really really kissed him back

From Jinho:  
And I don’t know for how long or when we passed out or how far we got but I know what the inside of his mouth tastes like and I can’t even think about him to figure out what I should do without thinking about that and he said he didn’t want to be friends anymore before he kissed me and I panicked because I don’t want to not be friends with him but then he kissed me and I’m really so very confused what am I even supposed to do when one of my closest friends kisses me and I kiss him back

From Jinho:  
But like I said we were both really drunk and I don’t know what I should do about the situation please help me I think I’m having an anxiety attack

From Hui:  
Slow down hang on

From Hui:  
First, take a breath and calm down

From Jinho:  
Okay

From Hui:  
Good.

From Hui:  
Second, who’s Seungyeon?

From Jinho:  
Third year psychology student in Changgu’s class. He introduced me to her at the party.

From Hui:  
And I take it she was into you and vice versa?

From Jinho:  
Pretty sure since she was in my lap with her mouth on my neck at one point before I fucked up

From Hui:  
Now, think about this.

From Jinho:  
Think about what there’s so much to think about what do I even start with

From Hui:  
Jinho. breathe.

From Jinho:  
Ok ok

From Hui:  
You said you kissed Hongseok back? Correct?

From Jinho:  
Yes

From Hui:  
Willingly?

From Jinho:  
Yes

From Hui:  
Now think about why. 

From Hui:  
Was it the alcohol? 

From Hui:  
Was it because you’d just done the same thing with Seungyeon and your brain wasn’t fully processing that it was a different person? 

From Hui:  
Or that you still wanted to continue the experience of kissing, regardless of who it was? 

From Hui:  
Was it because you were just turned on from before? 

From Hui:  
Or did you actually really truly want to specifically kiss him back?

 

Jinho took a deep breath as that last message came in. His head was still a little too scrambled to answer that question. He took a few more deep inhales and did his best to focus on what he remembered thinking.

He knew he was still desperate for some form of touch. The burning of Hongseok’s thigh against his and the heat from his skin under Seungyeon’s touch was enough to tell him that. The fact that he continuously thought about how he didn’t like men but continued anyway seemed to be best explained by the alcohol. Poor decision making and contradictory actions went hand and hand with drinking, right? Admittedly, Hongseok was a _really_ great kisser. Possibly even better than Seungyeon. That was probably why he couldn’t bring himself to pull away, or why he didn’t seem to care when Seungyeon walked off. Because it didn’t feel like he was really missing out on anything at the time. 

He stared at his phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard until he was certain.

 

From Jinho:  
I think I was just really, really desperate for affection and really really drunk.

From Hui:  
So there weren’t any feelings involved? Just alcohol?

 

Jinho hesitated, remembering how his stomach flipped inside of him and how everything felt fuzzy.

 

From Jinho:  
I don’t know what was feelings and what was tequila

From Hui:  
that sounds more like something Shinwon would say. 

From Hui:  
What was running through your head when it happened?

From Jinho:  
That I shouldn’t be doing it

From Hui:  
Why not?

From Jinho:  
Because I was just kissing Seungyeon minutes before then

From Jinho:  
And because I don’t like men. I’ve only ever liked women. 

From Jinho:  
I’ve never kissed a guy before.

From Jinho:  
I’ve never liked a guy before either so I had no reason to kiss any.

 

There was a pause on Hui’s end this time.

 

From Hui:  
Sorry Hyojong asked me something. 

From Hui:  
Sometimes guys kiss other guys when drunk. It doesn’t necessarily mean they like men. It happens just like plenty of other alcohol induced things happen. I mean you saw me kiss Hyojong that one time you dared me to do five shots in a row after I’d already had one too many cans of beer. Of course he kissed me back since it’s Hyojong, and he’s up for just about anything even when sober, but there weren’t any feelings involved. 

From Jinho:  
That’s true. You guys are still good friends... 

From Hui:  
What were you guys talking about before it happened?

From Jinho:  
He told me he didn’t like Seungyeon. I asked him why and he just said he was nicer and asked if I like nice people. I answered yes because I don’t know why I would surround myself with people who aren’t nice. He asked if I liked him and I said of course because we’re friends. Then he said he didn’t want to be friends and I asked if he didn’t like me. But he avoided the question and said he didn’t like Seungyeon. When I asked why, he said it was because she stole me. Then he told me not to date and that he would be sad if I did. Then he kissed me when I asked why he’d be sad.

From Jinho:  
Was that a drunken confession or am I crazy???

From Hui:  
That... does sound like a confession. 

From Hui:  
It sounds like you may have unintentionally made him jealous. Either for your attention or your affection. Hongseok seems pretty reserved about his feelings, the alcohol might have broken down that wall.

From Hui:  
Have you ever asked him what his preferences were? Or did he ever bring them up?

From Jinho:  
No, I don’t think so. At least I never asked.

From Hui:  
Maybe he was afraid to tell you? If he does like men, he was probably afraid you wouldn’t be as close to him if you knew. You aren’t a very touchy person, but Hongseok definitely is. You let him in and he probably didn’t want to lose that.

From Jinho:  
Maybe... but he knows I don’t care who likes who or what gender, so I still don’t really understand.

From Hui:  
You should really talk to him about it. He’s probably freaking out as much as you are right now if he remembers. 

 

Jinho frowned. He wasn’t ready to talk to the man he very intensely made out with a night ago.

 

From Hui:  
And before you do. Try to decide if it was feelings or tequila that you felt during the kiss.

From Jinho:  
Tequila

From Hui:  
Sleep on it and try to tell me the same thing in the morning.

From Hui:  
I think that’s the best thing you can do right now. You’re probably still freaking out.

From Hui:  
Let’s meet up tomorrow for lunch, we can talk more about it then. I don’t work on Sundays, so we can take as long as we need. But right now, Hyojong is pestering me about getting a cat again and I can’t convince him it’s a bad idea and text at the same time.

From Jinho:  
But I can’t sleep

From Jinho:  
I literally woke up because I remembered this mess

From Hui:  
Just try not to think about it and let yourself rest. You deserve it after midterms.

From Jinho:  
I’ll try

From Hui:  
Good, sleep well, see you tomorrow

From Jinho:  
Goodnight

 

Jinho sighed. Hui was always the rational one when Jinho was having a crisis. Mostly just because he wasn’t the one freaking out. Hui definitely had his moments of panic. Jinho saw him have a meltdown when they drove to a specialty market an hour and a half away from Hui’s apartment for specific ingredients for Hyunggu’s birthday dinner only to find out the market was closed for the owner’s daughter’s wedding. Thankfully Hyunggu was just happy to have everyone over, but Hui was still anxious for three hours after they arrived.

The conversation had calmed him down a bit, but he was still just as confused. He was so afraid he was going to lose Hongseok over this. He knew Jinho had only ever had feelings for girls, so why would he have feelings for him? Or confess? Even if it was after a few too many drinks? It didn’t make sense. He didn’t notice his fingers brush his lip in thought. 

Jinho rolled over, deciding to check twitter instead of facing the problem. He figured a distraction would help him sleep. As usual, it was nothing but needless drama and Wooseok tagging Hyunggu in dumb memes that Jinho was pretty sure Hyunggu only liked because he felt obligated to as his friend. Everyone he followed were friends and friends of friends. All the accounts he followed solely for content get drowned out by complaints and rants that he could care less about. Shinwon’s daily music recommendations were the only neutral ground. He usually enjoyed those, but he never saw them when he actually had time to check them out.

Now was a better time than ever. He pulled his headphones out of their tangled pile on the night stand and plugged them in. Jinho was thankful for the plentiful amount of threads on different bands and soloists Shinwon had created along with the daily posts. It gave him hours of music videos and interviews to binge if he felt the need to. And boy, did he need to right now.

 

__________

 

“ _God_ , how much did you drink to still be like this?” Changgu groaned as he pulled Hongseok out of the back seat. He practically fell out of the car and onto Changgu, the shorter struggling under his dead weight. He held him by the waist and carried him towards the apartment building entrance. A car door slammed shut before Yan An made his way around the front of the car with his keys in hand. He held them up to the small scanner beside the door, causing it to unlock with a click. Changgu squeezed through the doorway as Yan An held the door open for him. 

Since no reasonable inhabitant of the building as awake yet at this hour, the elevator didn’t take long to arrive. Once they squeezed into the elevator, Hongseok mumbled something indistinguishable under his breath. Changgu just sighed, headache seeping away all of his empathy for his drunk friend.

“Please, you were quiet for the last the minutes of the ride home, just stay that way.” He breathed, shifting Hongseok’s weight back against him.

“Hey, Changgu, He’s not looking too good.” Yan An told him, noticing how pale Hongseok’s skin had gone.

“Yeah, he doesn’t look good he’s still out of his mind drunk and threw up at the gas station.” Changgu huffed.

“No, I mean he _really_ doesn’t look good. _From a medical perspective_.” Yan An pressed the back of his hand to Hongseok’s cheek, almost pulling away at how icy it was. “He’s freezing!” Yan An gasped, worst case scenarios already going through his brain at one hundred miles per hour. 

“It’s still chilly outside at this time of day, I’m cold too.” Changgu pouted.

“No, Changgu. Something’s wrong. We need to get him back to the room now so I can check him over really well. He shouldn’t be this cold. Feel his skin. It feels like ice.” Yan An continued in a grim tone. Changgu placed a hand on his friend’s skin and let out a small gasp.

“Oh god, you’re right.” Changgu breathed, curling in on himself a bit out of guilt for not noticing earlier. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open with a creak. He quickened his pace as they made their way down the hall. Yan An hurriedly unlocked the door and set his things down, running back into the bedroom for his medical kit. Changgu guided Hongseok over to the couch, wrapping his arms around him in an attempt to warm him up.

“Can you take his jacket off? I want to check his breathing really quickly.” Yan An asked as he came back with a bag in one hand and a thick blanket under his arm. Changgu nodded and peeled the suede jacket off of Hongseok. He shivered when the cold air of the apartment hit him. Yan An kneeled down in front of him and frowned. 

“Sorry buddy, it’ll only take a second.” He said softly as he took out his stethoscope. He placed the cool metal piece against Hongseok’s chest, hoping the sweater was thin enough to hear through. Fortunately it was, but what he could hear wasn’t a good sign. He moved the metal piece to the other side of his chest, then to his back. Frowning once more, he pulled out the ear pieces and set the device down on the side table. 

“His breathing is way too slow and it’s really shaky. I think he drank way too much. We need to get him to drink some water, quickly. Keep him warm and don’t let him fall asleep, I’ll go get a couple glasses of water.” Changgu followed Yan An’s orders as the taller man scrambled into the kitchen. Hongseok shrunk into the blanket and pressed himself against Changgu. He wrapped his arms around the elder once again, holding him tight against him.

“Sorry I didn’t notice earlier, Hongseok.” He said softly, truly feeling terrible for overlooking his condition. He chewed at his lip in worry as Yan An came back with two cups of water and a trash can.

“You’re showing a bunch of symptoms of alcohol poisoning, so you’re definitely dehydrated on top of that. I’m going to need you to drink these for me, Okay?” Yan An addressed Hongseok as he sat on the table across from his seat on the couch. He handed him one cup, made of plastic so as not to hurt himself if he drops it, and helped him tip it upwards. Changgu watched in surprise as he chugged the first cup.

“Woah, woah slow down. If you drink that fast you mi-“ Yan An warned, cut off midway by Hongseok’s sudden gagging. Yan An quickly pulled the trash can over, knowing full well what was about to happen. Hongseok lurched over, emptying the contents of his stomach into the bin. Changgu rubbed circles into his back, unintentionally scrunching his face up at the sight. 

“If you drink that fast you might throw up. Okay. Well.” Yan An sighed, finishing his previous warning. “We gotta take this slow so you don’t get sick like this again. You could inhale it and it could harm your pharynx and trachea and the rest of the delicate tissue that let’s you breathe.” He gave Hongseok a look of pity. Hongseok panted over the trash can, suddenly feeling light headed. Yan An quickly walked back down the hall, soon returning with a warm wet washcloth in hand. Changgu helped Hongseok sit back up straight as Yan An did his best wipe his face. Once he finished, he handed the cup of water back to Hongseok, warning him to drink slower.

“You aren’t currently passed out and appear to still have the ability to respond to what we’re saying to you, even if it’s not much, so I don’t think it’s emergency room serious. But you had blacked out when we found you and Jinho earlier, so I’m still concerned. You weren’t showing any clear symptoms then, so they may have just not kicked in just yet. We’re going to have to keep an eye on you tonight, though.” Hongseok did his best to focus his eyes on Yan An as he spoke, but everything was blurry and hazy and occasionally went dark for half a second. He still felt lightheaded and his friend’s words were muffled. 

“I’ll watch him for a while if you want to try to get some sleep.” Yan An told Changgu, holding the washcloth in his lap.

“Are you sure? You’ve been awake since 6am yesterday.” Changgu asked hesitantly.

“I’ll just make a pot of coffee before you go to bed, I’ll be fine. Besides, I know how bad your headaches get when you’re hungover, I don’t need it turning into a serious migraine and you blacking out on me too. I can always wake you up if he gets worse.” Yan An reasoned. Changgu frowned but nodded his head.

“Want me to watch him while you set up the coffee maker?” He offered, arms still wrapped around Hongseok.

“That would be nice. I’ll be right back.” Changgu watched him disappear into the kitchen and heard the coffee maker power on with a beep. He turned back to Hongseok, the older’s eyelids drooping from the weight of exhaustion.

“Hongseokkie, you gotta stay awake. I know you’re tired, but you can’t fall asleep right now, it’s really important.” Changgu gently shook the older man, afraid he’d upset his stomach if he moved him much more. Hongseok tilted his head ever so slightly and gave Changgu a pleading look. “I’m sorry, but you can’t right now. Drink some more water instead.” He tapped the cup in Hongseok’s hands, urging him to drink some. Hongseok looked down at it for a moment before following Changgu’s orders, much slower than the first time. He managed to finish off what was left and keep it down, but he felt heavy and waterlogged. All he wanted to do was give into the sleep tugging at his eyelids.

Time passed by excruciatingly slow as Yan An made a pot of coffee. As he waited for it to brew, he ran around doing miscellaneous things in the kitchen and in the living room. He brought out the small hot plate they used to keep mugs of tea warm and sat it on the coffee table. He brought a collection of snacks in a bowl, possibly with the intention of getting Hongseok to eat something later. He stared at the blurry bowl of thick slices of bread and just ripened pears. Just the thought of eating made his stomach churn. He willed the feeling away as he focused on breathing for a moment.

Whatever unconscious portion of Hongseok’s nervous system that kept him breathing wasn’t currently functioning quite like it usually did. He found himself not breathing at all if he didn’t think about it for too long. The sharp inhale of air made his head spin. He really wasn’t good with vertigo. He could feel the bile rise in his throat again. He gripped tightly to whatever he could, one hand finding its place on Changgu’s thigh. He buried his face into the younger man’s neck, hoping not being able to see anything would make him less dizzy. Unfortunately, his coordination wasn’t currently up to par either and he ended up just ramming his cheekbone into Changgu’s shoulder. The pain didn’t phase him, it was the least of his current concerns.

“Ah, be careful.” Changgu said softly, helping guide Hongseok’s head over to crook of his neck.

The shrill beep of the coffee maker sounded three times to signal that the coffee was finished. Ceramic mugs and dishes clinked together as Yan An shuffled through the cabinets. He came back with a mug in one hand and the full pot in the other. Changgu blinked up at him with a tired, slightly strained smile. His headache was growing worse and worse the longer he sat there. He was truly worried for his friend, but his vision was starting to distort around the edges and sharp pain shot through his temples and behind his eyes.

“I’m going to grab a pitcher of water and a bottle of Gatorade for Hongseok really quickly and then you’re free to sleep, okay?” He told him. Changgu answered with a small nod. Hongseok’s cold cheek against his neck was sending shivers down his spine. His hot, ragged breathing sent goosebumps across his skin. He brushed the hair out of Hongseok’s eyes and pressed his cheek against the crown of his head.

“It’s gonna be okay, Hongseokkie. You just gotta hang in there.” He rubbed a warm hand up and down Hongseok’s exposed arm. The clammy feeling of his skin through his thin sweater sent waves of pity through Changgu despite his pulsating headache.

“Okay. I’ll take it from here. Go get some rest.” Yan An said as he sat the pitcher and sports drink bottle down next to the coffee pot. Changgu nodded once more and gently pushed Hongseok away from him. He rose from the couch and gave one more sad, soft glance at Hongseok before bidding the two goodnight and retreating back to his and Yan An’s shared bedroom. Yan An settled into where Changgu had been sitting a moment ago. He checked that Hongseok was still awake before pouring more water into the older’s cup and coffee into the mug he brought in earlier for himself. He handed Hongseok the cup of water, frowning when the older refused to take it.

“You’ll feel better sooner if you drink more water.” He stated, hoping to persuade him to accept it. Hesitantly, Hongseok wrapped his hands around the cup. His hands were shaky and his fingers felt like ice. Yan An leaned back against the cushions as Hongseok paced himself. 

“We’re going to have to keep you on a leash next year, aren’t we?” Yan An teased. All Hongseok could do was glance at him over the rim of his cup.

 

 

__________

 

 

“I don’t want you to lose Hongseok over something you two did when you were drunk. I told you before, he makes you happy in ways me and the rest of our friends can’t. He’s a very good friend, but if you want to keep him you can’t avoid him like I know you’re going to try to.”

Hui’s words hit him hard. His friend knew him all too well. Jinho poked at his fries, unsure what to answer since Hui called him out so easily.

“You don’t know his side of this. And you won’t if you don’t try to talk to him.” Hui continued, taking a bite of his burger. 

“I know. But doesn’t it feel like it’s too soon to ask? I mean, I’m pretty sure he drank more than I did. He was probably still drunk the next day. Neither of us have had much time to think about it. And I mean, who knows? He might not even remember it.” Jinho weakly reasoned. His attention was pulled away from his fries when a group of three men walked into the restaurant with full bellied laughter. They looked sort of familiar, but Jinho couldn’t place where he’d seen them before.

“It would be reasonable to wait another day or two, yes, but don’t put it off for much longer than that. Do it as soon as you’re comfortable and have at least _something_ figured out.” Hui told him, eyes also following the rowdy bunch.

“Just a day or two? You expect me to know what to say by then?” Jinho slumped back into his seat with a look of disbelief plastered across his face.

“Yes, a day or two should be enough time to feel like you’re comfortable enough to work things out. If you wait any longer than that, it just means you have more time to think of even more bad things and worst case scenarios than you already have.” Jinho huffed at Hui’s answer, knowing it was a reasonable answer but not wanting to hear it anyway.

“But I still haven’t figured anything out yet.” Jinho grumbled, once again poking at his fries, but not eating them.

“Don’t pout and eat.” Hui scolded him. Jinho sat up straight and quickly shoved a fry in his mouth. “Now, the thing you mentioned last night that stood out was that you didn’t want to lose him. Start with that.”

“How do I start with that?” He asked before stuffing a couple more fries into his mouth. 

“Think about why you don’t want to lose him. That’s how you can start off your conversation. By explaining that you still want to be friends and truly and honestly telling him why he’s so important to you.” Hui bit into his burger once more, his lips quirking upward in satisfaction over the juicy beef. 

“That... makes sense.” Jinho picked up his own, suddenly hungry after watching Hui’s pleased reaction to the meal.

“But, after that, you have to make sure he can tell his side of the story. Make sure he’s still comfortable being around you. If he confessed his true feelings even when he knows you can’t return them, it could make it hard on him.” Hui pointed out. Jinho nodded with his mouth full of food. “Then after that, you two just have to work it out together to decide how to continue.”

Hui made it sound so easy. Every time Jinho imagined himself talking with Hongseok, he instantly went into panic mode. It made his heart race. That’s what happens when you’re anxious, right? He picked at the bandaids he had covering the bruises on his neck, nerves starting to get to him again. He tugged his turtle neck up over them in an attempt to stop himself.

“I still can’t believe you filmed that!” The boisterous exclamation from one of the rowdy students that entered a moment ago broke Jinho away from his thoughts. They were taking a seat with their food a few tables away, but they spoke loud enough for every word to be heard clearly from just about any corner of the dining area.

“Yeah, I don’t know how you were still sober enough to even unlock your phone at that point.” Another one laughed, facing the shortest of the three.

“I was trying to enjoy myself to the fullest without a migraine the next morning, I didn’t drink anywhere near as much as you two did.” A smirk stretched across his lips and one of the other two let out a childish “ooooooooh!”. 

“Hey, you promised we were going to get hammered together, Wooyoung! Are you telling me you broke our pact and took it easy on the alcohol?” The man to his left said, eyebrows pinched together in suspicion.

“Seunghyub, I had no intention of packing on extra pounds thanks to alcohol. I didn’t even have time to keep up with my usual gym schedule because of midterms. Besides, all we ate last week was ramen, just because that was all we had time for. I wasn’t going to risk it.” The man referred to as Wooyoung answered, absolutely unbothered and already digging into his food. 

“I didn’t think of that... I’ve been bloated for a week and already forgot what it was like not to be. I need to get back on schedule...” said the one to his right.

“How could you not think about that, Hongbin? Your face gets super puffy just after one cup of ramen.” Seunghyub asked. 

“I was a little busy studying, unlike _some_ people, and didn’t have much room left in my brain to think about what foods do to my face.” Hongbin retorted.

“Also, if you guys remember, I drove us all home.” Wooyoung pointed out. “And we didn’t die or get pulled over. So I think you should be thanking me instead of arguing over the fact that I didn’t get drunk like you two.”

“Touché.” Hongbin answered.

“Not to interrupt, but one of the sophomores reposted your video onto Twitter and I think the entire student body has seen it, the notes on it are insane.” Seunghyub said, scrolling on his phone.

“That kid’s never going to get a job now that this is out.” Wooyoung laughed.

“I mean given who his roommates are, it wasn’t surprising. People like him clump together.” Hongbin scoffed, munching on his fries.

 

Jinho knitted his eyebrows together. They were so loud. Did no one have the common decency to lower their voices in a public setting anymore?

 

“Hey, don’t use them as a distraction, we’re still talking.” Hui teased, poking Jinho’s hand with a French fry. Jinho snapped his head back around to his friend.

“Sorry.” He took another bite of his burger. He didn’t know why, but those three made him uneasy.

 

___________________

 

“Yan An, Yan An where are you, I think you need to see this.” Changgu called out as he searched the apartment for the tall blonde, phone in hand. He let out a sigh of relief when he found him standing over a pan of French toast in the kitchen. He turned and blinked at him, confused at Changgu’s urgent tone.

“I thought everything went pretty well at the party, I mean we found Hongseok and Jinho in a pile of tangled limbs when we went to leave so I thought everything was okay and he finally confessed and Jinho felt feelings for him too, but oh god it’s bad.” Changgu sputtered, panic levels running at maximum. He handed Yan An his phone, pointing at the video on the screen. Yan An’s eyes widened.

“Who filmed this?” He asked quietly, eyes glued to the screen as he scrolled down to see the rest of the post.

“One of the upperclassmen in Hongseok’s major. But a second year reposted it here and now everyone’s seen it.” Changgu answered, chewing on his lip and fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.

“These comments are terrible. People are revolting.” Yan An frowned at the 245 comments below the video. His eyes landed on one in particular.

“ _No wonder he lives with who he does, he’s just as disgusting as they are, kissing other men?_ ” He read aloud and then looked up at Changgu, anger washing over his face. “Can no one keep their noses in their own business? We have to report this before it gets any worse.” 

“Who do we even report it to?” He asked.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I’m definitely going to find out.” Yan An told him before handing him his phone. His eyes softened a little. “Can you go check on Hongseok? He’s been holed up in his room resting all day. I’m worried he’s seen it.”

Changgu hummed as he nodded his head. He hadn’t been awake last time he last checked on him, so it was probably best that he checked on him again. Yan An turned off the stove top and pulled out his phone and stared furiously typing out an email. To who exactly, Changgu had no idea, but the blond was clearly on a mission and he left him to it. Before reaching Hongseok’s bedroom, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself, his heart still beating in his chest from the initial shock. He slowly cracked open the door and peeked his head in. Hongseok cracked a tired eye open, peering at him over the edge of his thick wool blanket as he laid curled in on himself on his side.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Changgu softly asked the bundle of blankets that was his best friend. He knelt down beside the bed, meeting Hongseok’s gaze at his eye level. He gave a tired shake of his head and rubbed at his eyes.

“Oh, what’s wrong? Do you need anything? You haven’t really eaten any real food for two days, do you want me to cook something for you?” He offered, pushing Hongseok’s hair out of his eyes. He felt a thin smile stretch across his lips at how warm he felt compared to almost two days ago. He still felt a bit cool, but not icy like before. The older leaned into the touch, humming at the warmth against his skin.

“I’m still really cold and tired.” His voice was weak and slightly hoarse as he answered. His tired eyes blinked up at Changgu.

“Then what do you want me to do?” He asked him. Hongseok answered by lifting up the blankets and pouting. Changgu let out a soft chuckle as he got the message and climbed in beside him. Hongseok wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face into his thick warm sweater. He couldn’t help but smile as Changgu’s body heat radiated beneath the blankets. He shifted so that his cheek was pressed against the younger’s chest. A thoughtful hum rumbled low in his throat.

“Did I really fuck up at the party?” His voice was quiet, but just loud enough for Changgu to hear.

“No, you didn’t. What makes you think that?” He replied, looking down at him.

“My phone keeps lighting up with notifications, but it’s too bright and I’m too afraid to check them.” He explained.

“Don’t worry about them too much. It’s probably just people tagging you on Twitter. Someone... recorded your drunk suburban mom dancing.” Changgu told him, gritting his teeth at the lie. He was already beating himself up over it and he knew Yan An would give him a stern lecture for lying to Hongseok about the situation. “So just ignore them for now. Everyone will forget about it soon.” 

“Oh.” Hongseok buried his head once more in shame. A few silent minutes passed by before he lifted his head to meet eyes with Changgu.

“Did Jinho get home safe? Or did he go home with... someone else?” Changgu couldn’t hide the look of pity on his face when he met Hongseok’s sad, droopy eyes.

“Yan An drove us all home. We dropped Jinho off at his apartment. Hyunggu took care of him. He didn’t go home with anyone else.” Relief washed over Hongseok’s face before being replaced with guilt.

“He wanted to go home with someone. He said that was part of why he agreed to go to the party. Did... Did I get in the way?” 

Changgu sighed. Hongseok didn’t remember what happened, and he didn’t know if he should tell him.

“He... didn’t go home with anyone, but I’m not sure if it was because you were in the way, necessarily.” He chewed on his lip, searching for the right words. “But if you were, he didn’t seem to mind while he was drunk.” Hongseok’s eyebrows furrowed at Changgu’s cryptic answer. 

“What did I do?”

Changgu drew his lips into a thin line.

“Changgu.”

He took a deep breath before making his decision.

“You may have possibly confessed and may or may not have made out heavily on a couch for close to thirty minutes before you both passed out.”

Hongseok’s eyes went wide in a combination of shock and terror. He buried his face in Changgu’s sweater once more, balling his hands up in the thick material and pulling it over the sides of his face. The younger could feel Hongseok’s groan rumble against his chest.

“Why did I do that...? Why couldn’t I just pretend I only liked him as a friend like usual? I screwed everything up.” His voice came out muffled through the sweater. Changgu wrapped his arms around him and patted his head.

“Don’t be so sure you screwed everything up until you’ve talked to him. I mean, he did kiss you back.” He consoled his distraught friend. He felt him pause in his arms.

“He what?” Hongseok craned his neck to look at Changgu. He blinked down at him.

“He kissed you back.”

Hongseok took a few moments to absorb the words before a warm pink dusted his cheeks.

“He kissed me back?”

Changgu hummed and nodded his head in reply.

“But... Jinho’s straight. He doesn’t like men, so why would he kiss me back?” Hongseok asked, eyes turning sad once more.

“I don’t know, maybe you should ask him?” Changgu suggested.

“What if I’m afraid to ask?”

“Then wait a little longer. No one else can ask him except for you. So just wait until you’re ready.”

“I guess you’re right.” He sighed. He pressed his cheek against Changgu’s sweater once more, sticking his bottom lip out in a thoughtful pout.

“On another note, is your stomach doing okay?” The younger hummed.

“I don’t feel like gagging every time I try to swallow.” Hongseok answered, eyes starting to get heavy again. “It’s not perfect, but I think I could keep a simple meal down.”

“Anything sound good? I can go get it for you or make it if we have the right stuff.” Changgu offered, softly petting Hongseok’s hair. 

“Sweet potatoes sound really good.” He mumbled.

“We just got some last weekend, so I can stick them in the oven. When do you think you’ll be hungry? Or are you hungry now?” He asked.

“Hmm.” Hongseok lifted his shoulders in a shrug as his eyes fluttered closed. The warmth weeping through Changgu’s sweater and into the flesh of his cheek was warming his insides and making him drowsy. The younger running his hands through his hair wasn’t helping him stay awake, either.

“I take it you’ll be hungry after a nap?” Changgu smiled and pulled him in tighter, fingers tangling in his dark hair. Hongseok replied with a sleepy nod. “Okay, I’ll cook them after a nap.” He surrendered himself to Hongseok’s strong, but sleepy grasp and closed his eyes. Admittedly, the past two days had warn him out too, and it was awfully hard to say no to cuddles.

 

___________________ 

 

“You should invite Hongseokkie over.” Hyunggu pouted over his dinner. 

“Just because he’s a better cook than I am doesn’t mean he’ll come over and cook just because I ask him to.” Jinho said before stuffing a large fork full of pork. “I even bought meat, you shouldn’t be complaining.”

“I’m just saying I miss him. I’m not trying to insult your cooking, you’re too sensitive. It’s just weird eating dinner without him since we ate together so often these past few months.” The younger said as he poked at his food. Jinho raised an eyebrow at the pout still on his face. 

“He has his own life too. It’s not like he lives with us. He probably wants to eat dinner with Changgu and Yan An sometimes.” He reasoned. Hyunggu didn’t look convinced. Suddenly, his face lit up with an idea. Jinho sighed, already preparing for the worst.

“Why don’t we invite them all over? It’s spring break, they won’t be busy!” Any other time, Jinho would have easily went along with Hyunggu’s suggestion, but he still wasn’t prepared to face Hongseok just yet. 

“I think Changgu and Yan An mentioned they were going to visit Changgu’s family sometime over the break. They probably aren’t home.” He lied through a mouthful of food. Hyunggu’s shoulders slumped in disappointment and his bottom lip stuck out. 

“That’s no fair.” 

“Life’s not fair. Eat your food before it gets cold.” Jinho snapped, his patience for Huunggu’s whining wearing thin. The younger crossed his arms and shot Jinho a stern look.

“Why are you in such a bad mood? All you’ve been doing the past four days is sleep your spring break away. You should be well rested and happy.” Hyunggu interrogated. 

“I’m in a bad mood because while I’ve definitely been trying to sleep my spring break away, I haven’t succeeded in three days.” Jinho hissed back. “I only managed to sleep the first night thanks to my hangover.” Hyunggu blinked his big round eyes in surprise.

“You haven’t slept in three days? What did you do the whole time you were holed up in your room if you weren’t sleeping?” Hyunggu asked incredulously.

“Rolling around in my self loathing, what else would I be doing?” Jinho huffed.

“So you just laid there?” Hyunggu furrowed his brows in confusion before his expression softened. “Did something happen at the party? Did you and Hongseok fight? Is that why you’re like this? Or why you don’t seem to want him to come over?”

Jinho curled in on himself. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He was sick of talking about it, sick of thinking about it. He stuffed another large bite of food into his mouth to avoid the conversation.

“Jinho, please tell me what’s wrong.” Hyunggu put down his fork and watched Jinho carefully. The older lifted his eyes towards him and chewed tauntingly slow. “Jinho, you’re acting like a child.”

“Says the person who was pouting like a five year old a few minutes ago.” He countered. 

“Fine. But you should still tell me.” He hated how stubborn Hyunggu was. Jinho dropped his fork onto the counter with a clatter and stared straight at his roommate.

“I’m depressed. I know you and Hui have already guessed at it. I get insomnia when it turns bad. Don’t tell me to see a counselor, I already did. They said I needed help they couldn’t give, but I can’t afford it and my insurance doesn’t cover it. There’s your answer. What more do you want?” His answer was harsh and blunt. Hyunggu shrunk in his chair. Jinho waited for his reply, but when it never came, he pushed his chair back and slid out of it. He scraped what was left of his food off into the trash can and threw his dishes in the sink.

“I lost my appetite. I’m going to bed. Do whatever you want.” He said before making his way down the hall and slamming his bedroom door shut. Hyunggu let out the breath he was holding and sat up in his chair. He didn’t mean to pry, he was just worried. Even after knowing Jinho since he was little, he wasn’t sure how to deal with him these days. He didn’t used to be like this. He always wondered if it was the stress of keeping of with his assignments and trying to pay for college that was making Jinho like this. 

He used to be a lot happier and he’d been so excited to start school four years ago. The past two years especially seem like they’ve sucked the life out of him. He never talked about how his classes were or his upcoming projects or anything about school at all. Jinho avoided the topic and Hyunggu didn’t ask. Instead he’d ask questions that would give him a vague idea about how school was going for him. He’d ask him about Hui or how his day went. He’d either end up talking about how much progress he and Hui made or about how terrible his day was, focusing on the unrelated to school events that took place throughout the day.

Hyunggu sighed and looked down at his plate. Everything on it was cold by now, but he didn’t feel like he had the right to complain. Jinho had cooked dinner for the two of them, just as he often did, and Hyunggu had only asked him to invite Hongseok. He didn’t bother to thank him for making dinner even when he could tell he still felt down. He chewed his lip in regret. He should have thanked him instead.

 

Jinho didn’t mean for his temper to get the best of him. He didn’t enjoy snapping at Hyunggu. The boy didn’t react well to being yelled at, so he always tried his best to hold back his frustrations towards him. Regrettably, with no sleep for three days, that self control had gone on vacation. He rubbed at his eyes. They were heavy, dry, and stung when he looked at bright lights. He climbed back in bed and buried himself beneath the blankets. It was no surprise to him that the immediate warmth brought Hongseok to his mind. The thought of Hongseok’s warm arms around him made his cheeks burn and he didn’t know why he already missed it so much.

With a sigh, he rolled over to face the wall. Jinho knew he couldn’t keep this up. He was digging himself too deep of a hole by wallowing in his thoughts. He did his best to figure out what to say to Hongseok. He wanted his friend back, or it else he was never going to know sleep again.

 

___________________

 

“Hongseok’s cooking dinner tonight!” Changgu sang as he bust through the door to the apartment, arms full of groceries. Hongseok grinned softly as he trailed behind him, arms equally as full. After kicking off his shoes as he walked through the door he followed his roommate into the kitchen to set down the bags. Yan An appeared from the hallway with a fond smile on his face.

“What are we having?” He asked as he placed a kiss on Changgu’s cheek and patted Hongseok’s shoulder in welcome. 

“Dakgaejang.” Hongseok answered as he pulled all of the refrigerated and frozen items out of the bags.

“Ooh, that sounds good.” Yan An replied, arms wrapping around Changgu’s waist. “You sure you’re okay with cooking tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m okay now. No more hangover, no more almost alcohol poisoning.” He smiled. He put the last container in the fridge and started sorting through what was left in the bags, since his helping hand was currently being distracted by his boyfriend. “I’m going to run to do some laundry after I finish putting all these things away, do you need me to run and get anything for you while I’m out?”

“Not that I can think of. How long are you going to be out? Don’t over exert yourself just yet.” Yan An responded, resting his chin on Changgu’s head. The shorter man hummed with a smile at the subtle affection he was receiving.

“I just have a couple loads. If it’s not crowded I should only be about an hour or hour and a half at most.” He pulled a few bottles of tea out of a bag before letting out a small “Oh!”. “I almost forgot, I need to stop by the daycare and drop off my resume and the other paperwork. Are they still open, Changgu?”

“Yeah, they should be. It’s Wednesday, so they’re open until seven.” Hongseok let out a sigh of relief and started gathering up the empty bags.

“Good. So I might be a bit longer since I’ll probably drive over there too. So... two and a half hours if I decide to grab lunch? As long as I don’t get distracted.” He laughed as he stuffed the empty bags into a medium sized bin in the corner filled with other bags. None of them had the heart to throw them away, so they kept them and reused them for everything they could until they fell apart.

“If you need anything, be sure to call us. We’ll just be here.” Yan An told him.

“We should really clean the apartment today.” Changgu pointed out. Hongseok chuckled at the immediate slump of the blond’s shoulders.

“Well, you two have fun cleaning. Let me grab those papers and I’ll head out again.” He slid past them and went into his bedroom to grab a folder off his desk. With a wave of the folder, he slipped his shoes back on and told his friends he’d be back soon. They replied with a chipper goodbye, both happy to see their roommate up and about again.

“If I catch him coming back from the gym before Friday I’m going to kill him.” Yan An mumbled. Changgu looked up at him and laughed.

“I still don’t think he’s going to be going to gym any time soon. He wouldn’t admit it, but he got winded when he tried pushing the shopping cart to the car in the parking lot.” Yan An shook his head. “He’s probably going to need a nap when he comes back before cooking dinner.”

“If he’s just going to sleep when he gets back, we could put off cleaning for a little while longer.” Yan An slyly pointed out.

“Oh yeah? And what would we do instead?” Changgu grinned innocently.

“We could mess up our room a little bit more.” The blond said with a wicked grin. Changgu scrunched up his face with an embarrassed smile and pushed his boyfriend into the hall.

“You’re terrible.” He yelled, in the fondest way possible.

 

___________________

 

Jinho pushed a few coins into the slot on the machine before turning the knob to choose the cycle. He squinted at the words, the letters refusing to stay in focus. He sighed and gave up, hoping his memory of which cycle was where was good enough and chose the third one from the right before pressing start. The washer filled with a whir and he sat down on the wooden bench by the windows. The coolness of the glass seeped through his shirt as he leaned against it. Droplets pecked against the window at a steady rhythm.

He had trudged over with his basket full in the rain, grumbling the entire time and hoping his headphones wouldn’t get wet. Everything else most definitely got wet. He was soaked from head to toe, fortunately his phone survived. He was already determined to change in the bathroom as soon as a load of his clothes were dry. Which they should be in about... twenty minutes, wonderful. 

As usual, he’d put off his laundry in favor of school and sleep. So here he was, washing and drying nearly his entire wardrobe. In an attempt to pass the time, he scrolled through his twitter feed on his phone. Unsurprising to Jinho, there was nothing of interest to be found. A message notification popped up on his screen from Hui just as he was about to sit the device down beside him.

From Hui:  
Have you talked to him yet?

Jinho was pretty sure Hui already knew the answer.

From Jinho:  
No

From Hui:  
-_-

From Hui:  
It’s been five days

From Jinho:  
Yes, it has in fact been five days since the party

From Hui:  
-__-

From Hui:  
Jinho, don’t be like this

From Hui:  
Just talk to him. It won’t be as bad as you think it will be.

From Jinho:  
I beg to differ.

From Hui:  
Do I need to come talk some sense into you?

From Jinho:  
I’m being perfectly sensible.

From Hui:  
We both know that’s a lie.

From Hui:  
What are you doing awake before noon? I’m surprised you replied so quickly

From Jinho:  
I couldn’t sleep

From Hui:  
Couldn’t sleep or didn’t sleep?

From Jinho:  
Didn’t sleep

From Hui:  
Have you been able to sleep at all since the party?

From Jinho:  
Not except for the first night after when I was in hangover hell

From Hui:  
You’ve been holed up in your apartment all week and let your thoughts take over. 

From Hui:  
Do you want to stay with me and Hyojong for the night? Maybe a change in scenery and a different bed will make a difference?

From Jinho:  
I don’t know if it’ll help but I went off on Hyunggu last night and don’t really feel like going home

From Hui:  
Jinho, you know he doesn’t respond well to being yelled at

From Jinho:  
I know, he just kept pushing me and you know I’m not a lovely person when I haven’t slept

From Hui:  
That’s true, you’re pretty terrible.

From Jinho:  
Wow thanks

From Hui:  
But really, you’re welcome at our place for the night if you want to try.

From Jinho:  
I think I’ll take you up on that offer, I’m out doing laundry right now

From Jinho:  
Would you by any chance want to drive by and pick me up when I’m done? It’s pouring and I already got soaked walking here

From Hui:  
You really need to learn to not put your laundry off until the last second

From Jinho:  
I guess I’ll never learn, is that a yes or no so I know whether it’s worth it to change into dry clothes

From Hui:  
Sure I’ll pick you up. Just text me about ten minutes in advance

From Jinho:  
Bless, dry clothes here I come

From Hui:  
You’re a mess

From Jinho:  
And you still put up with me

From Hui:  
What are friends for?

From Hui:  
I have to go to a meeting with some of the other members of student council, don’t forget to warn me in advance when you’re done

From Jinho:  
I won’t, don’t worry

Jinho let out a long exhale and sat his phone down. He was exhausted. He was soggy. And he was still incredibly confused. He was also completely alone in the laundromat. He guessed that no one bothered to come do laundry before noon on a Wednesday. Given normal circumstances, he admittedly wouldn’t either. But sitting alone with his thoughts in a laundromat was slightly better than being alone with his thoughts with an upset Hyunggu in the other room.

Hyunggu had still been asleep when Jinho left, but it wouldn’t take him long to realize Jinho was gone once he wakes up. All he would have to do is check whether he was in his room or not. He felt bad for never bothering to apologize to the kid, but he was at the point of being too tired to care. He hummed to himself as he got lost in his thoughts.

At some point, he managed to doze off on the bench. The buzzer of the dryer woke him out of a disturbingly realistic dream. Dream Jinho had already finished the laundry and managed to be a good friend, roommate, and sort of guardian and apologize to Hyunggu. All real Jinho had done was doze off for twenty minutes, not that he was going to complain. It was still twenty minutes more than he’d had all week. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and trudged over to the dryer, dumping everything into his hamper. 

He did his best to pull out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that matched and dry socks and underwear before setting them in a pile on top of the machine. He yanked the washer open and moved all the clean, but wet clothes into the dryer, popping in a few coins and hitting go. He filled up another load in the washer and did the same. Once both loads were going, he grabbed his dry change of clothes and headed to the bathroom to change. He was ready to get out of the cold damp clothes that were clinging to his skin.

The bathroom was small and slightly musty, but he couldn’t say he cared. As soon as he shut the door he peeled the wet clothes off and threw on their dry replacements. He stood still for a moment, humming in satisfaction as the warmth from the freshly dried clothes seeped into his skin. Once he gathered up his wet clothes off the floor, he exited the tiny bathroom. A singular, trouble making sock was threatening to fall out of his arms as he heard the front door open and the little jingle of the bell that signaled when someone came in. 

 

He didn’t expect to lock eyes with the one person he was avoiding when he looked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have roughly two weeks left of school and about a million and a half things due soon, so you won’t be hearing from me for three more weeks most likely. As soon as I get the chance to write again you better bet it’s gonna get soft again real fast. 
> 
> To my fellow students currently battling finals, I wish you all luck and good grades! You can do it! Let’s make it through these tough times together <3
> 
> [EDIT: Hey there readers! Finals will be over for me on Tuesday so I’m hoping to have Chapter 7 posted around that time. The way this is turning out, it’s looking like it will be a long chapter, so buckle up. It’s still a bit angsty since the boys are working their hardest to fix this mess, but I’m trying to tie up all the loose ends so chapter 8 can be soft again. I’m also filling in with some backstory for Hongseok as well as some side character information to spice things up. In the next chapter we’re gonna officially meet Hyojong and Yuto! If it works out I might throw Wooseok in there too. How exciting! 
> 
> Once again thank you all so much for your patience and I’m absolutely in shock at surpassing 1000 hits! I didn’t think that many people would ever bother to read this fic! Once everything gets sorted out in the story, I’ll give you guys a super soft, fluffy filler chapter as a reward for all your support <3 ]
> 
>  
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	7. Then Let’s Both Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (No summary this time, sorry everyone)
> 
> I’m a whole day and 2 hours late on my promised update schedule, but I was busier than expected these past couple days. (And I might have been in a food coma for a few hours out of those days...) but I’m back with another chapter! Wooooo! Hot update~ you want? (Because that joke will never get old)
> 
> Finals are FINALLY OVER!!! I’m free! As far as I know so far, I aced every class despite all the stress and anxiety that built up throughout the year. 
> 
> So, we’re finally back with a resolution! The boys finally have to confront each other and make up. But just a warning... I gave Hongseok a hard time and I want to apologize. I am 100% planning on making up for it in later chapters. In this long chapter, we get to learn more about Hongseok’s back story and officially meet Hyojong, Wooseok, and Yuto!
> 
> And without further ado, here is the update!

He nearly choked on the sharp breath he just inhaled. There stood Hongseok, just in front of the entrance, laundry basket resting on his left hip, detergent in his free hand and a book tucked under his right arm. His eyes were wide in alarm. _Like a stunned little fawn_ , Jinho thought. Lamentably, his very next thought was the memory of Hongseok’s lips on his neck and the bundle of damp clothes fell from his arms. He could feel his blood pressure rise as his heart pumped harder in his chest. It threatened to bust right out of his ribcage if it beat any harder.

Jinho didn’t know how long they stared at each other. It was clear neither of them were expecting to meet each other here, of all places. The place that they met. Hongseok was even wearing the very same sweatshirt that had once found its way into Jinho’s hamper. If it hadn’t been for that shirt, he never wouldn’t met Hongseok and gained a new friend that kept him going. His eyes went back and forth between the shirt and Hongseok’s face. By the fear and shock in Hongseok’s eyes, he guessed the taller had remembered the party after all. That just made the words even harder to find in the whirlwind of thoughts swirling around in Jinho’s head. 

Hongseok was the first to tear his gaze away, flicking it down towards the floor, his eyes scrunching shut. 

“I-I’m so sorry.” He blurted, his dark round eyes darting across the stained laminate tile floor. “I didn’t mean to... I didn’t mean for what happened to happen and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I didn’t mean to screw everything up.” He continued in a shaky voice. 

Jinho watched him squirm, taking in every word as if he hadn’t heard his voice in years.

“I had way too much to drink, I’m so sorry, and I wasn’t thinking straight and I’m sure my words didn’t even make any sense. I-I didn’t bring up... my... preferences before since I was afraid you’d be uncomfortable. So, I um, I like other men. Just like Yan An and Changgu. But I didn’t tell you and you didn’t ask. I thought... I don’t know what I thought. I wasn’t careful or in my right mind. I didn’t mean to... it doesn’t have to mean anything. It was the alcohol talking and my brain not catching it in time,” Hongseok inhaled a long breath, as if he’d forgotten to breathe between words. “I understand why you’ve probably been avoiding me and I don’t blame you and y-you probably don’t want to be around me now since we... since... because of the party, and you’re straight and I ruined your chances with Seungyeon and I understand if...” The words fell out of his mouth, tumbling out with less and less confidence, less and less purpose as he rambled on. He looked back up at Jinho with a wordless desperation in his eyes as he chewed at his lip.

All Jinho could do at first was blink at him, still not sure if this was actually happening.

“I...I need.. to sit down.” Jinho said, walking back to the wooden bench with his clothing once again loosely gathered in his arms. He sat down slow and took a few deep breaths. He saw Hongseok’s gaze fall back to the floor out of the corner of his eye. They searched the floor once more for something, answers? Words? Confidence? He sat his things down on top of a dryer and hesitantly watched Jinho, shoulders drawn in and hands fumbling with the hem of his sweatshirt.

“I haven’t figured out what to say yet.” Jinho admitted, head in his hands. 

“That’s... that’s okay.” Hongseok replied. “I don’t... I still don’t know what I’m saying.”

“I’m still really confused.” He continued. Hongseok stayed silent, his hand picking at his chapped lips out of anxiousness. Silence fell over them for a moment. Hongseok didn’t know whether to come closer or give Jinho his space. More than anything, he wanted to be sitting beside him, in a warm happy silence like all the other times they’d done laundry together. He wished he’d kept his mouth shut, that he’d stopped after that second beer, that he hadn’t kissed his friend.

“I was so drunk. I didn’t expect...” Jinho rested his hands on his knees and stared down at his shoes. “ _That_ to happen. I didn’t expect to kiss you back. I don’t know why I did. But I did. Everything inside me said I was doing something I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have because I was just kissing Seungyeon minutes before. I shouldn’t have because you’re my best friend. I shouldn’t have because I was drunk. But I didn’t pull away because drunk Jinho just wanted that sort of affection so badly. And that messed everything up even more.” By now Jinho was just trying to reason to himself, but it was all coming out of his mouth whether he wanted it to or not. 

“God, I’m so confused. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now.” He ruffled his hair in frustration before turning his head to Hongseok. “But I don’t want to lose you. You became my best friend in a matter f months and I think I’d rather die than lose you. Just these past days have left me empty and numb. I can’t sleep and I can’t bring myself to do anything. I barely leave my bed. I’m only here because I snapped at Hyunggu and I feel too guilty to even face him when he wakes up. More than anything, I don’t want to go back to that terrible feeling. You were what pulled me out of it. I don’t care whether or not I got laid, I don’t care if Seungyeon got mad at me, I don’t care about any of it.” He watched the younger man’s eyes go wide and his brow furrow.

“I don’t know if the confession was real. I don’t know if it was just alcohol talking. Im so sorry but if you have feelings for me, I can’t return them, but I want you by my side. It’s selfish and it’s probably not fair to you, but I don’t know what I’d do without you at this point.” Jinho told him. He didn’t know where these words were finally coming from, but he was glad they were finally being said. “Before I met you I wasn’t doing well. I was losing motivation, I was losing sleep, and I was lacking a reason to keep going. Hyunggu couldn’t do anything. Hui couldn’t do anything. But god, could you do something. You could make me smile and laugh and made me feel like life wasn’t so bad after all. You gave me reasons to leave the house, reasons to get out of bed, reasons to eat, and reasons to not give up. I don’t want to lose that, I don’t want to lose you. Especially not over something we did when we were drunk.” 

Before he could stop himself, his legs moved to close the distance between him and Hongseok. His body just moved on its own, out of desperation. His arms wrapped around his torso with a mind of their own and he buried his face in his chest. That same chest he’d come face to face with when they first met. The same chest he’d fallen asleep on during the movie marathon. The same chest he had run a hand over beneath his shirt on the couch at the party. He felt the taller stiffen momentarily, the sudden contact a shock. He smelled just like he remembered. Like freshly washed warm linen and the lingering scents of home cooked meals.

“Fuck, I missed you.” Jinho mumbled into the camouflage fabric of his sweatshirt. A shaky pair of hands found a place on his back, pulling him close a few seconds later. His hands were still strong and warm and gentle. He felt the heat from the palm of Hongseok’s hand through his shirt. It warmed his skin better than any ray of sun ever could. Hongseok pressed his nose into Jinho’s hair, shoulders slightly trembling.

“I missed you too.” He answered, voice cracking at the end. 

“Can we still be friends?” Jinho asked, his voice small. Hongseok nodded against the crown of his head with a sniffle. His words caught too deep in his throat to answer.

“It won’t hurt you, will it?” Jinho dared to ask. 

“No. I’ll be okay.” He choked out. “I don’t want to lose you. I’ll be okay.” He pressed his warm cheek against Jinho’s head, eyes shut tight to hold back the tears stinging his eyes. “I’ll be okay.” He repeated the words, unable to bring himself to say anything more.

 

_________________

 

 

“I got in touch with the counselors, they ended up helping me take this problem all the way to the dean.” Yan An explained softly over a bowl of soup. He and Changgu were seated at the dining table tucked into the corner of the living room, eating lunch. Both of them were dressed in sweats and T-shirts, hair still damp from the showers they took earlier.

“And...?” Changgu pressed. He sat his spoon down and intently stared at Yan An, awaiting an answer.

“It took a while since he’s so busy, but we explained the situation. He agreed it was unacceptable. The people who posted it are going to be dealt with directly through him. I have a feeling we won’t be hearing from those two for a very long time. Those who commented with hateful things are going to be tracked down and required to meet with counselors. Depending on the severity of the comments, they might possibly be losing all their scholarships. We’re still working on getting the post taken down. We’ve all reported it and now we’re just waiting.” Changgu let out a sigh of relief at the answer.

“Do you know if Hongseok has seen it yet?” Yan An tentatively asked. The shorter’s eyes softened and his eyebrows pinched together.

“As far as I know he hasn’t, but he might have checked his phone while waiting on the laundry. So we’ll probably hear about it when he comes back if he watched it.” Changgu told him, already worried for his friend.

“I hope he never sees it.” Yan An sighed just before the sound of keys jingling came from the front door. 

“Welcome back, Hongseokkie!” Changgu greeted happily as Hongseok slipped through the door and sat down his laundry hamper. He bent down to remove his shoes and placed them beside the collection of others in the hall. 

“Hey.” Was all he managed with a tired smile as he entered the living room, hamper resting on his hip once more. Changgu’s smile fell when he caught sight of Hongseok’s pink rimmed eyes. Before Yan An could even say hello, Changgu was out of his seat. He took four quick strides to Hongseok, took the hamper from his hands and placed it on the floor before pulling him into a tight hug.

“Hongseok, what happened?” Yan An asked, quickly catching on to the atmosphere.

“You’ll never guess who I ran into at the laundromat.” He said with a shaky laugh. Changgu pulled back and frowned in concern, his soft features dripping with sympathy.

“Was it Jinho?” He asked, afraid that saying his name too loud would hurt him. As soon as the name left his lips, Hongseok nodded and tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. His lips quivered and he buried his face in the crook of Changgu’s neck, holding onto him tightly. The tears fell with no sign of stopping as Hongseok sobbed against his friend. He felt Yan An’s long arms wrap around them both, the warm gesture only encouraging even bigger tears. He wasn’t even sure if they were from happiness or sadness or just stress, all he knew now that he was safely in his friends’ arms, was that the tears wouldn’t stop.

 

Yan An and Changgu pulled him over to the couch once he calmed down a bit, sitting him down and squeezing in tight on either side of him. Yan An tangled his hands in his hair as Hongseok’s head leaned against his shoulder. Changgu ran his thumb over Hongseok’s knuckles and intertwined his fingers with the other free hand. The older’s face was still contorted from crying, mouth stretched at the corners and eyes scrunched. His skin was blotchy and his cheeks still damp from the tears the others couldn’t wipe from his face. But the tears had slowed and just the occasional drop rolled down his cheek. Weakly, he tried to hold them back with a series of pitiful sniffles.

“Do you want to talk about it now? Or wait a little while?” Changgu asked softly, idly fitting his fingers between Hongseok’s. He rolled his head towards the younger to meet his eyes. He sighed and nodded, freeing one hand to rub at his eyes and tear stained cheeks. He shifted so that he was sitting up a bit straighter, trying to pull himself together to explain why he was like this. Yan An moved his hand so that it rested on his shoulder for comfort and encouragement.

“Jinho doesn’t hate me. But... he doesn’t feel the same way I do.” He started, voice quiet and trembling. “I didn’t expect him too. He still wants to be friends, though. Which is nice. I guess. I don’t want to _not_ be friends, but I’m just... everything feels all jumbled up.” He choked on his words at the end and a few more tears pushed their way out. He covered his mouth with his hand. He lifted his head and took in a long shaky breath, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to hold back whatever tears were left.

“He said he didn’t think it was fair how attached he was. And how he didn’t want to lose me.” He continued. “He said he didn’t mean to kiss me back and he didn’t mean to make things complicated. But he asked to be friends and asked if I would be hurt. He didn’t want me to hurt anymore. So I told him I’d be okay. And... and I think I will. It’s just going to be really hard at first. Maybe for a while. But I don’t want to lose him. We talked it out a little after that.”

Changgu slowly nodded. Yan An stretched a concerned frown across his lips. Hongseok turned his head back down to looked at Changgu’s fingers fitting perfectly between his. He let out a long, shaky sigh.

“Should I have just stayed with Hanbin?” He asked quietly. He felt the other two stiffen at the mention of the man’s name.

“Definitely not.” Yan An said firmly. 

“You left that relationship for a reason, Hongseok. It wasn’t good for you. He and his friends changed, they weren’t good people anymore. You’re doing so, so well now. Don’t think that you need him. He can’t help you.” Changgu said, tightly holding onto the older’s hands now. He pulled him by his shoulders into another hug. Hongseok tucked his face back into the crook of his neck, fitting against him like a puzzle piece. Yan An ran a hand up and down his back comfortingly. 

“Just think about how much happier and healthier and successful you are without him in your life and you’ll find the answer to that question.” Yan An added behind him. Hongseok nodded against Changgu’s neck. He knew the answer, he knew he made the right decision. But some sick part of him missed his old partner. He hasn’t been able to keep any relationship longer than a couple months since he left Hanbin. 

 

_They were class mates since elementary school. Hormones kicked in during their middle school years and they got curious. Hanbin was his first. His first friend, his first kiss, his first date, his first love. He was his everything. When Hongseok won a scholarship to study abroad for high school, things got complicated. He wanted to take the chance to travel, he knew it would look incredible on his college applications, and he knew it would be an amazing experience. But it meant leaving Hanbin behind. Hongseok accepted it, after the overwhelming encouragement from everyone around him including Hanbin, on the promise that they wouldn’t lose touch with an ocean between them. In the time between the news of the scholarship and his departure, they’d spent every waking moment together. Let their hands wander over each other, taking in and memorizing every inch of the other’s body. Let their tongues taste every crevice until it was seared into their brains. Whispered every loving, longing word, and listening intently so as to not forget the sound of each other’s voice._

_But Hongseok didn’t know that Hanbin was changing behind the sparkling heart and kissy face emojis he sent in his texts. He didn’t know of the things Hanbin had explored in their years apart. All he knew was that he craved his lover’s hand in his and wanted nothing more than to have him back. This need kept him blind to the small signs he should have noticed. Hanbin’s words started to change. He took it as frustration at being apart for so long. He took it as simply not remembering how he had spoken before and brushing it off._

_After graduation, when he finally returned home, the need to see Hanbin was stronger than the need to see his own parents. He’d lied and told them he’d come back a couple days later, only so he’d have two days alone with Hanbin. Hanbin had saved up to buy his own apartment after high school, wanting freedom and independence. It happened to work out perfectly for an uninterrupted welcome home. Hongseok had missed him more than anything for all the years they spent apart. He missed the sound of his best friend’s voice and couldn’t wait to feel the burning touch of his lovers fingers across his skin._

_He craved it so strongly, he didn’t object when Hanbin was rougher, greedier, than he’d expected. He didn’t complain about the bruises or the pain the morning after, he was just happy to be back in his arms. He didn’t question Hanbin’s possessive tone when they met up with their friends. He went along when Hanbin talked him into going with him to parties or when he offered one more drink and then another. He didn’t mind spending more nights with bare tangled limbs in Hanbin’s bed than back home in his own. He let Hanbin pull him away from others, friends and family, as long as it meant they could be together._

_It didn’t take long for people to see the short leash Hanbin had kept him on as soon as he had arrived home. He wasn’t going to let Hongseok leave his side again. He wasn’t going to let anyone take Hongseok from him. It reached a point that his family started calling after four weeks with no word or sight of Hongseok. He promised to come home soon, only doing so nine days later. They voiced their concerns towards his recent behavior, pointing out how much weight he had lost, how he comes home looking beaten and bruised and how they never know if he’s okay since he stopped calling home._

_Hongseok assured them he was fine._

_He spent an entire year saying he was fine. Because, he thought he was._

_Then he applied for college at his parent’s request and got into his top choice with large scholarships. It was always his intention to go, he just wanted a year to adjust to moving back to South Korea. That year was spent clinging to Hanbin, like he was his life line. Hanbin wasn’t fond of the idea of Hongseok leaving him for school again, even if the campus was only an hour and a half drive away from their home town, or just forty five minutes from Hanbin’s apartment. But, he didn’t stop him. He just made him promise to see him more often._

_Hongseok moved into his new dorm with the help of Hanbin. His two roommates soon trickled in, giving shy greetings as they started unpacking their things. They introduced themselves as Changgu and Yan An. Hongseok welcomed them with a smile and a warm handshake. Hanbin acted cold to the two, undeniably giving off a terrible first impression. Regardless, they quickly took a liking to Hongseok, even if he disappeared every weekend with the other boy. Their liking turned to friendship and eventually to concern as they caught on to Hongseok’s situation. When they’d voiced their worries the first time, he just brushed it off. He had only known them for a couple months, who were they to tell him to break up with Hanbin?_

_The second time they brought it up, it caught Hongseok off guard. They were gathered in the common area of their room, eating cereal at 9pm to try and use up the last of the milk before it went bad. The heat was broken in a way that it wouldn’t shut off. The whole building was roasting and the people in charge couldn’t get anyone in to fix it until the next week. So they sat on the cool tile floor in tank tops and their boxers, thankful that the fridge still worked well enough to keep the milk cold. Changgu pointed out how much weight Hongseok had lost. Yan An’s eyes fell on Hongseok’s exposed ribs at the other’s statement and agreed. When asked whether he was eating enough or not, he found he couldn’t answer. He hadn’t noticed he’d gotten thinner. Clothes had felt large and baggy and like they were swallowing him whole, but he hadn’t noticed the reason why._

_The third time, he got worried. He got frantic. He realized the situation slowly, painfully. The way Hanbin kept him away from friends and family under the guise of missing him like a love sick puppy. The way he threw caution to the wind and was rough as he liked under the excuse of desperately craving Hongseok’s touch. The way he acted suspicious of everyone and everything and claimed it was because Hongseok needed to be protected. The way he got angry when Hongseok forgot to tell him he’d be running late or going out with friends. The way he was starting to feel like he was a kept pet, rather than one half of a relationship as he had been so many years ago._

_One night after Hanbin had his way with him, fresh violet blooms littering his skin, Hongseok decided it was enough. With labored breaths, he had panted out “I don’t love you” and been answered with a scoff. Hanbin laughed at his remark, brushing it off as a lie, telling Hongseok that loving him was all he was good at. It took every ounce of strength in his body to pry himself off the bed, pull on his clothes, grab his things, and walk out the door. It took every screaming red and blue siren going off in his head over the things Hanbin had done that kept him from turning right back around and falling into his arms._

_He cried in Changgu’s embrace that night, with Yan An’s long arms wrapped around them both. It was a long, bumpy road after that, but he got through it. He changed his phone number, got rid of his social media for a year, changed his hair color for a short while upon Yan An’s suggestion. He was through with what he’d had. But half a year went by and he realized he was still lonely. The kind of lonely that two wonderful friends didn’t fix. The kind of hollow that going to parties and seeing friends at school didn’t fill. The kind of numb that hugs and pats on the back didn’t get rid of. And after about a dozen failed attempts at dating again, he still felt it._

It was just starting to eat at him. And the idea of being around Jinho as nothing more than friends made him happy and empty all at the same time. 

“I just... want a relationship again. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I knew it wouldn’t work with Jinho, but _god_ , he’s just so perfect.” Hongseok mumbled, sliding his hands between himself and Changgu to rub at his eyes. 

“You never let us forget it every time you got drunk.” Yan An said with a pat on Hongseok’s back.

“Ugh, I didn’t did I?” He groaned, recalling his incessant gushing over Jinho after a few glasses of rum on multiple occasions. 

“It’ll get better. You’re right, it’ll be hard. But he’s still your friend, so not everything is lost.” Changgu reassured, pressing his cheek against the crown of Hongseok’s head. “But he can’t be _that_ perfect if he’s already breaking your heart...” That last addition was muttered under his breath, just low enough for Hongseok to barely hear.

 

_________________

 

“I’m sorry for complaining last night. I shouldn’t have said the things I did.” Hyunggu said softly from the doorway. Jinho lifted his head away from the notebook sitting on his desk. He hadn’t heard the younger creep in. He looked withdrawn and tired, dark circles hanging heavy from his eyes.

“It’s fine, Hyunggu. It wasn’t you. I’ve just been on edge lately.” Jinho sighed with a sad smile resting on his lips. He took a breath, eyes flicking down to the floor and back up to Hyunggu’s round brown eyes. “I made up with Hongseok, so it’s okay now. I’ll try not to be as grumpy.” Hyunggu’s face lit up.

“You made up? So everything is okay now?” He asked in a hopeful tone. He clasped his hands together and held them tight against his chest. Jinho nodded, trying to give a more convincing smile. 

“Yeah, he gave me a ride home from the laundromat since it was raining. Oh, and um. I’m going over to Hui’s later. I’ll probably crash on his couch for the night. I came back to grab my things and to apologize when you woke up. So, I’m sorry for everything. Will you forgive me?” He said, remembering his reason for milling about at home for about an hour now. Hyunggu cooed and came to wrap his arms around his head, hugging it against his torso.

“Of course I forgive you, you were having a rough time.” He chuckled. Jinho lifted his head to give him a thankful grin, cheek smooshed against his chest. “You’re the best brother I never had, I couldn’t stay upset with you even if I wanted too. Besides, I thought it was all my fault, anyway.”

“It wasn’t, I promise.” Jinho reassured him. Their soft moment was cut short by Jinho’s phone going off. It was the ringtone Hui had set for himself. “And there’s the queue for me to pack faster. Sorry it took me so long to apologize, Hyunggu. I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll ask Hongseok if he wants to come over this weekend, Okay?” Jinho told him before picking up the phone. Hyunggu gave him a curt nod before pecking him on the cheek and leaving the room. Jinho wiped at his face in false disgust.

“Jinho, it’s been an hour since you told me you left the laundromat. Do you want me to pick you up or not? I gotta be at work in forty five minutes, I can’t wait any longer.” He heard the jingle of keys on the other side of the phone and a car door slam shut.

“Yeah, Sorry. I was talking to Hyunggu and got distracted. I’ll grab my stuff and go wait in the lobby, text me when you get here.” Jinho quickly apologized as he shoved his belongings into a large gym bag he’d never once actually brought to a gym.

“Oh, that’s good you made up. I’ll be there in probably fifteen minutes. Traffic looked pretty bad on the news.” Hui’s frustrated tone quickly subsided at the mention of the younger’s name. Hui treated Hyunggu as just as much of a brother as Jinho did. Although, Hui definitely spoiled him quite a bit more than Jinho did. He was convinced it was Hui’s fault he became such an unfortunately lovable little brat.

“Cool. See you then.” Jinho replied, packing his things more carefully knowing he had more time to spare. He went down his mental checklist. Spare clothes? Check. Laptop? Check. Laptop charger? Check. Mouse? Check. Headphones? Check. Notebook? Check. Pens? Check. Phone charger? Check. Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? He panicked before realizing he was still holding it to his ear.

“Be there soon, bye!” Hui chirped before hanging up. Jinho shoved his phone into his pocket and zipped up his bag. He flicked off the lights as he slipped out into the kitchen. Hyunggu was leaning over onto the counter playing with his phone when Jinho walked in. He lifted his head and gave him a cute, scrunched nose smile. Jinho ruffles his hair and started digging through the cabinets for snacks to bring with him. Food was pathetically sparse in their kitchen at the moment.

“Hey, you wanna go to the market tomorrow? You know, so we don’t starve?” He asked Hyunggu as he opened the fridge only to find it empty save for a couple juice boxes and a few green onions. The younger nodded with a small pout before turning back to his phone. “Who are you so furiously texting over there?” He chuckled at the sound of speedy taps from behind him.

“Yuto.” Jinho raised an eyebrow at how quick and chipper Hyunggu’s reply was. 

“Yuto?” He asked as he walked over to Hyunggu.

“Yeah, Wooseok’s roomate.”

“I know who he is, you’ve told me about him before and we met that one time. He just doesn’t seem the type to be sending anyone sparkly heart emojis.” Hyunggu nearly threw his phone across the room when he realized Jinho was peering over his shoulder at his device.

“Jinho! D-don’t read my texts over my shoulder! That rude!” The older laughed at the sudden flush of Hyunggu’s cheeks.

“Oh? What’s this?” Hyunggu covered his face with his hands, already guessing what Jinho was about to say. “Does our little Hyunggu have a boyfriend?” He asked in a voice he’d heard adults often use when talking to babies. Hyunggu just dropped his head onto the counter and yelled.

“Aww, he does!” Jinho cooed. “I’ll have to tell Hui. He’ll probably want to throw a party for you.” 

“Jinho, don’t tease me!” Hyunggu whined, still standing with his face down on the counter. 

“I’m just happy for you! I’m not teasing. I’m a proud brother who’s glad my little Hyunggu has a boyfriend.” He assured him. “But if he does anything to hurt you, I get first dibs on gutting him.” Hyunggu’s head shot up with a gasp.

“You’re not going to lay a finger on him!” The younger’s hands shot up to cover his mouth as soon as he saw the knowing look on Jinho’s face. 

“So? How long have you two been a thing? It’s clear you’re already whipped.” Jinho inquired, resting an elbow on the counter. Hyunggu stuck out his bottom lip in defeat.

“A couple weeks.” He answered dejectedly.

“Just a couple weeks? And he’s sending you hearts? Hmmm... I don’t think I Ike that.” He crossed his arms over his chest, making his keys rattle in his pocket,

“I-I mean... it became official a couple weeks ago.” He corrected himself.

“Okay, so what’s he like? I’m asking as a protective guardian figure. Is he a student? What year is he? What’s his major? What are his grades like? Does he do any drugs? Where’s his home town?” Jinho asked in rapid fire spurts.

“Uhh. He’s nice. Um. Kinda quiet but really cute. He looks scary but his cheeks get all soft and round when he smiles. I saw him cry over a picture of a dog once. He’s a freshman in the foreign relations track and he’s on the school’s baseball team. And. Um. He’s not... failing any classes? As far as I know? He... he smokes, but not super often. Cigarettes, not marijuana. But not the really gross smelling kind of cigarettes. He’s from Nagano, like Nagano prefecture in Japan.” Hyunggu said, sucking in a deep breath at the end.

“Kids these days, taking up smoking like they don’t know any better.” Jinho grumbled at the floor. He looked back up at Hyunggu. “Does he smoke around you?”

“He tries not to. He’s really careful about second hand smoke. He feels really bad about it. He’s trying to quit.” Hyunggu replied in a subtly defensive tone.

“Good. If he smoked around you, he’d be in trouble.” Jinho narrowed his eyes at his roommate, still suspicious. Hyunggu let out a nervous laugh and avoided his gaze.

“Ahaha..ha... yeah.” He rubbed at his neck and focused his eyes at the digital clock on the microwave.

“Are you guys... sleeping together?” Jinho hesitantly asked.

“No!” Hyunggu exclaimed, quicker than he’d intended. “I mean, no, we’re not. Yuto’s... uh. Never slept with a guy before.” Hyunggu’s cheeks burned a bright pink once again.

“Has he even dated a guy before?” Jinho found himself amused. He didn’t expect his roommate to fall for someone without any experience.

“H-he hasn’t dated before.” 

“Oh my god.” Jinho laughed. Hyunggu furrowed his brows in confusion. Jinho cackled until tears pricked the corner of his eyes.

“Why are you laughing?” Hyunggu pouted.

“I just- aha _ha_! Never expected you to date someone so damn _innocent_!” Jinho laughed even harder as the younger sputtered beside him.

“W-what do you mean!? I’ve dated virgins before!” Hyunggu said defensively, but it came out a bit weak.

“No, no... just like. Your initial intentions are almost always to end up in bed with them and this is just. _Wild_. The kid’s seriously never dated before? And he’s not dating you just to get in your pants?”

“No, he’s never dated.” Hyunggu crossed his arms. “And he’s... he’s kind of shy. He got so flustered when I accidentally left a bruise on his neck. I’ve never seen anyone go into such a panic.” Jinho tried to stifle his laughter but a small “pffffft” still managed to escape.

“Okay, so I guess he’s not so bad after all. Oh god, this is just so funny. But in all honesty, I’m so glad you found someone the exact opposite of all your past guys, they were huge dicks.”

“Well, I mean, that’s all I wanted them f-“

“No, just stop there.” Jinho quickly interrupted, “I don’t need to know.”

 

_________________

 

Letting out a long sigh, Hongseok unlocked his phone. He had slept for three hours since his emotional return home. It wasn’t the satisfying sort of sleep that you feel refreshed from afterwards, but the necessary sort of sleep that you need but your body still feels heavy when you wake up. He stretched out his legs, slowly realizing Changgu must have left once he’d fallen asleep. Changgu had slept in his bed more in the past few days than in the one he shared with Yan An. The room suddenly felt too big and too empty. He pulled up twitter to distract himself, hoping there’d be news about the next Marvel movie out by now.

 _That’s... a lot of notifications._ He thought to himself as he tapped the little bell symbol in the top right.

A choked noise of shock escaped his throat as he read through the messages. Insults and slurs and threats filled his screen. He didn’t understand what these were all about. As far as he knew, no one here besides his roommates knew he liked men. Why would they even care? So what was all of this? Why were they all being so cruel. He’d never seen so many harsh words being used, especially towards him and his friends. What could have happened that so many people would act like this? 

Then he found it. The post that must have started all of this. Hesitantly, he tapped on the video. As soon as it started, his phone fell onto the mattress and bounced off onto the floor with a loud thunk. He buried his face into the pillow, hands tugging at the corners.

“Hongseok? You okay?” Changgu asked, rushing in after hearing the noise. His eyes fell to the phone screen and shot back up to Hongseok. He scrambled over to the phone and quickly closed out of the app and turned it off. Placing it on the night stand, he knelt down in front of the bed and rested his chin on the mattress. “I guess you saw it, huh?” He asked softly. Hongseok nodded into the pillow.

“I’m sorry, Hongseok. We hoped you wouldn’t see it.” Changgu admitted. “Yan An already brought the issue to the dean. The people who took it are in big trouble right now. Twitter just hasn’t taken it down yet.” He pet Hongseok’s hair in an attempt to comfort him. The older pushed his hand away.

“Why did you report it? It’s just going to get worse.” Hongseok said, eyes already puffy from tears. “They’ll know it was one of us who reported them, or they’ll think it was us even if it wasn’t. How am I going to show my face in class? The students all know by now. Heck, the teachers probably do too. Random people on the internet even know. Who’s even going to _hire_ me when I graduate? Is this why the two girls from your class avoided us when I waved when we walked past them? Can I even leave the apartment now?” His tone got more tense and frustrated as he went on. Changgu shrunk in on himself. He hadn’t thought about what might happen after. He just thought he was protecting his friend. 

“I don’t feel like cooking tonight.” He said, before rolling over and pulling the sheets over his head. “Tell Yan An I’m sorry.” His voice came muffled from under the blankets. Changgu sighed. 

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought I was helping.” He said before he got up and left the room. The door closed behind him quietly with a click. He lifted his head to find Yan An walking out of the bathroom with a puzzled look. 

“He saw the video.” Changgu answered in a whisper. Yan An’s face instantly fell at the words. “He doesn’t feel like making dinner tonight.”

“That’s fine. I understand. What did he say? I heard his voice from the bathroom, but couldn’t tell what he said. He sounded angry.” Yan An replied, voice low so Hongseok couldn’t hear.

“We should talk in the kitchen.” Changgu suggested. Yan An nodded and followed him down the hall. He recounted Hongseok’s concerns once they were standing around the counter. Yan An’s face contorted in guilt. 

“Did we do the right thing?” He asked.

“I thought we did, but now I don’t know.” Changgu rubbed at his chin. 

“Let’s just hope the video gets taken down soon.”

“If we hadn’t done anything, everyone might have just forgotten about it eventually.” 

“It was going to be bad either way.”

“I know, but did we make it worse?”

“...did we?”

 

_________________

 

“I can’t believe he caved.” Jinho said as he happily pet the fat tabby cat in his lap. Hyojong beamed at him from his seat on the floor beside the coffee table. 

“I brought her home yesterday without telling him and He couldn’t tell me no after she looked up at him with her pretty green eyes.” He said proudly, puffing out his chest a little. Jinho chuckled at the thought of Hui melting over a cat looking at him.

“She’s so friendly. I’ve never had a cat just flop down into my lap like this before.” Jinho told him, scratching behind the cats ears and earning a purr. 

“She’s older than most of the rescues that come in. Her old owner was an old lady who couldn’t look after her anymore because her health wasn’t too great anymore. Cats her age normally don’t get adopted, and it hurt too much to see her sit in the cage looking all sad like that.” Hyojong explained, grinning at the fluffy old lady in Jinho’s lap.

“Hyunggu’s going to be over here all the time now.” 

“He’s welcome to cat-sit for us when we’re both at work.” Hyojong told him. The cat let out a meow in what seemed to be agreement before rubbing her face all over Jinho’s sweatshirt.

“He’d love to, I’m sure.” He cooed, rubbing the cats cheeks. “So what’s this little lady’s name?”

“Deborah.” Hyojong replied.

“Deborah?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Jinho had never heard of a cat named Deborah before, but he’d roll with it if it meant getting unlimited affection from the fluff ball in his lap.

“Oh, I almost forgot, Hui told me to tell you that we have leftovers in the fridge if you want something to eat before he gets home. And I mean, you’re over here enough, you know where all our food is. So help yourself.” Hyojong said lazily as he flopped back onto the floor.

“Thanks. I always feel bad about eating you guys out of house and home, so I brought some snacks with me. But I might take you up on the offer for leftovers.” Jinho admitted. Hyojong nodded wit a hum. He rolled his head over to look at Jinho.

“Are you doing okay now? Hui told me what was going on. Did you and Hongseok makeup? You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.” He asked, one finger twirling around a strand of his blonde hair. Jinho noticed how much the roots had grown out. The unkept look was actually quite charming on Hyojong.

“I’m doing better than I was. We made up, but it’s probably going to be awkward between us for a while.” Jinho answered. 

“That’s good to hear. Hui brings him up almost every time he talks about you. He must be really important to you if hui can’t talk about only one of you at the same time.” Hyojong said as he patted his stomach, softly calling for Deborah. The cat stretched and hopped out of Jinho’s lap and onto the carpet. Jinho smiled as he watched her trot over to the blond and lay on his chest, paws tucked under herself.

“Yeah, he is.” He paused for a moment. “Hey, Hyojong?”

“Hm?” He hummed in reply.

“Could you help me dye my hair?” It was sudden and completely unrelated to the current topic, but suddenly Jinho felt spontaneous and wanted a change. Hyojong was the only one of his friends he knew that knew anything about hair dye.

“Like right now?” He lifted his head off the floor to get a better look at Jinho’s expression. Jinho nodded, eyebrows furrowed to appear more serious. “Have you ever dyed it before?”

“Oh uh, I got it... lightened? To a dark brown once.” He said.

“What color did you want to dye it?” Hyojong was sitting up now, with Deborah in his lap, looking slightly annoyed that she had to move. Hyojong would never admit it, but he gets a rush out of dying other people’s hair. It’s a drastic change that’s incredible to watch happen in such a short period of time.

Jinho pursed his lips. He hadn’t gotten that far.

“What do you think would look good?” He asked with uncertainty.

“Hmmm.” Hyojong squinted his eyes at the older for a few seconds, thinking it over. “What about a copper-y color? Like orange but not too orange.”

“You don’t think that would look weird?” Jinho practically snorted at the idea.

“I think it would look good on you.” Hyojong stated confidently.

“Okay, but if it looks weird, you’re paying for the black dye to fix it.”

“Deal.”

 

_________________

 

“Why is it taking so long?” Hongseok grumbled under his breath, standing at the pickup counter. He drummed his fingers on the counter impatiently and looked around. The cafe wasn’t particularly busier than usual. There was always a pretty steady stream of people flowing in and out, and today was no different. The workers were usually quick with orders, but not today. Hongseok had only ordered an iced mocha and a couple chocolate chip cookies, but he’d been waiting for almost fifteen minutes now. The cookies were already baked and sitting in the case with the other desserts, so that couldn’t be the issue.

“Excuse me? I think I’ve been forgotten.” He called to one of the workers behind the counter. She turned to him in surprise. His eyes flicked down to her name tag that read “YuQi”. 

“I’m sorry, what was your order?” She asked fretfully. He guessed she was new to the cafe and pretty young based off her round baby face.

“Medium I ced mocha and two chocolate chip cookies. It’s almost been fifteen minutes.” He told her, having to raise his voice a bit for her to hear over the chatter of the other customers.

“I’m so sorry! We should have had that out to you by now! Give me just a moment.” She said, shuffling off to the dessert case. Hongseok exhaled in relief and checked his phone. As expected, he had a panicked text from Changgu asking where he was. He’d left early in the morning before either of them had been awake. He was too stressed to hole himself up in his room, so he went for a run before any normal human being would be outside. He figured he’d be in and out of the cafe before the work crowd came in, but the unexpected wait foiled his plans. He typed out a quick “went to the gym” and sent it off before shoving his phone back into the front pocket of his hoodie. 

“Here you go, I’m so sorry for the wait!” The girl said as she returned with his order. “I hope you have a great day!” Hongseok accepted the small bag and cup with a smile and thanked her before turning to leave. He squeezed past the people filing in through the front door and back outside. The soft, cool morning breeze hit his bare legs and sent goosebumps across his skin. One bad thing about wearing shorts to go run in the morning was realizing it was actually a little too chilly for shorts when you weren’t running. He shoved the bag of cookies into his bag and walked a little faster. His phone dinged with a reply from Changgu.

 

From Changgu:  
Yan An said if you went to the gym before next week he’d kill you.

 

Hongseok scrunched up his nose in disgust. He did his best to reply with one hand.

 

From Hongseok:  
I don’t care

 

He put his phone on do not disturb and plugged in his headphones. Despite his original intentions to just go back home, he turned at the corner and headed to the gym. He felt spiteful today. 

The walk wasn’t that long since the gym was just a few blocks away, but it felt like it was taking hours. It felt like every person he passed by was watching him. Like they all _knew_. He pulled his hood up over his head and walked a little faster. He did his best to convince himself he had pairs of eyes burning into his skin because he was wearing shorts and an obnoxiously patterned Marvel hoodie in the cold weather of the early morning. His eyes fell to the sidewalk, finding the cracked pavement less stressful than the faces passing him.

He lost his balance as he bumped shoulders with a passerby.

“Hey, watch where....” He looked up to meet the source of the voice only to be met with an instant feeling of dread. 

“It’s you. You _fucker_.” Wooyoung said before pushing him against the closest building. He held on tight to whatever he could, almost spewing the coffee out of his cup. Hongseok’s eyes darted between and the other two that looked equally as annoyed. “You have the audacity to run into me after all you’ve done? Do you have any idea how much this cost me? I got put on indefinite probation because of you. I can’t even graduate now.” Hongseok cringed at the vicious hiss from the older man. Wooyoung slammed him against the wall once more and the cup fell out of his hands. He caught the drink spilling onto the pavement out of the corner of his eye.

“Iced mocha? Really? Even his taste in coffee is for girls. I’m surprised he’s even out on the streets. Figured he’d at least have enough decency to lock himself in his apartment with his buddies instead of out getting coffee.” Seunghyub sneered. 

“I thought he’d be so scared he wouldn’t even come to class next week.” Hongbin added.

“So where you headed? To the gym? Like any normal day?” Wooyoung looked in the direction Hongseok had been walking. “Gonna go drool over the other guys on the machines? Act like you did nothing wrong? Find some new guy to suck face with?” 

“I feel bad for the guys that share an isle way in the locker room with him.” Hongbin grimaced, letting a shudder roll down his spine. “He probable checks them out while they change.”

“Or worse, when they shower.” Seunghyub frowned. A spark flashed in Wooyoung’s eyes and a wicked smile stretched across his lips. 

“Why don’t we join you? I could use a good work out. We can even spar a little. Hm?” Wooyoung grinned. Hongseok felt himself shrink into his hoodie. He was well built, probably just as strong as these three, but he was outnumbered, and they were visibly furious. He wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Come on, let’s go work this out like men, what’d you say?” Wooyoung tugged him close and threw an arm over his shoulder. His hand squeezed Hongseok’s bicep so hard he thought it might bruise. The older man led him down the sidewalk, to his intended destination. Hongseok quietly cursed at himself. He should have stayed home. This is what he gets for being spiteful. He suddenly wanted to be back in his bed, wallowing in his own sorrow. Anywhere but here sounded great right about now.

If the walk had felt like it took hours before, it felt more like years with Wooyoung’s arm over his shoulder and the other two trailing behind. His skin felt clammy under his hoodie. Even though he was taller than Wooyoung, he felt small and defenseless. He wanted to call for help, but who would even come? The old woman across the street? The three teenagers waiting for their school bus to arrive? Pulling out his phone and trying to get ahold of Yan An or Changgu would likely only make the situation worse, so that clearly wasn’t an option.

“We’re going to have a great time at the gym today and you’re not going to say a word to anyone about if you don’t want me to strangle you, right?” Wooyoung said through gritted teeth as they walked up to the front door. All Hongseok could do was nod. Words would probably only make things worse.

“Soyeon! How’ve you been?” Seunghyub cheerily greeted the girl at the front desk. She rolled her eyes and continued typing away at the computer.

“What do you want Seunghyub? You know the routine, just sign in and show me your member ID.” She told him, eyes never leaving the screen. He looked dejected at the girl’s uninterested reply.

“Aren’t you being too hard on him? He’s just trying to be friendly.” Hongbin said as he slid past Wooyoung and Hongseok. He leaned against the counter and shot her a bright smile. Her stern expression softened a bit.

“I don’t interact with jerks like him. Here’s the sign in sheet.” Soyeon told him and handed Hongbin a pen and clipboard. He scribbled down the time and everyone’s name.

“Got your ID on you, Hongseok?” Wooyoung asked with a smile. Hongseok felt like he was going to be sick. He slid his bag around to get to the pocket he kept it in. Wooyoung pushed him up to the counter.

“Oh hey, Hongseok! I haven’t seen you in here in a while. Were you sick or something?” Soyeon said, clearly most friendly with him. Hongseok scratched at his neck and smiled.

“I uh, got a mild case of alcohol poisoning at the party on Friday. Yan An wouldn’t let me leave the house for a few days.” He explained, just loud enough for her to hear. Hongbin snorted beside him. So, he heard it too. 

“Oh geez, I hope you’re all better now. Don’t go so crazy with the drinking anymore. That was probably awful. Can I see your ID?” He handed her his card and she ran it under the scanner. It cleared with a high pitched beep. Soyeon returned it with a smile and extended a hand towards Hongbin for his card. She scanned each one and waved them off as they headed back to the lockers.

“See you later Soyeon!” Seunghyub called. She shot him a glare before spinning back around in her chair to face the computer.

“I think she hates you.” Hongbin laughed at him.

“Yeah, I think so too.” 

They filed into the locker room and Wooyoung shut the door behind them, locking it after getting nods from the other two that it was empty. He took three long strides over to Hongseok and slammed him against the lockers. Hongseok’s head spun as he slid down onto the tile. 

“Thanks to you I won’t be graduating with the rest of my class. Im not allowed on campus once spring break is over and I have to find a new apartment. Guess we’ll be classmates next year then, huh? Won’t that be fun?” Wooyoung hissed, pulling Hongseok back up by his collar. “Thanks to you I lost my scholarships and my internship. How are you going to make up for it? Huh?” His knee connected with Hongseok’s stomach and he crumpled forward. With a hand on his shoulder, Wooyoung pushed him back up against the lockers with a clang. His head connected with the metal and he saw stars. Hongseok graced himself by holding onto Wooyoung’s shoulders. 

“Do you know how this is going to look on my record? This ruins my chances of getting into a high ranking rehab clinic after graduation. That internship would have given me a full ride to the masters program and a stable job.” Hongseok felt the warm trickle of blood down his cheek after Wooyoung punched him full force, whipping his head to the left and making his neck crack. A jolt of pain ran down his spine and he scrunched his eyes shut. He cried out as his body was slammed into the lockers once more. Wooyoung released him and he melted to the floor, tucking his knees up close to his chest. He shielded his head with his arms, fearing another attack.

“Now, how are you going to make it up to me? I deserve to get something out of this after all you’ve put me through, don’t I?” Wooyoung crouched down in front of him. Hongseok hesitantly raised his head to meet his gaze. The older stared at him for a long moment, wracking his brain for an idea. He shook his head in frustration when nothing came to mind.

“Why don’t we get back to you later?” Hongbin suggested. Seunghyub nodded in agreement.

“Meet me back here on Tuesday. I’ll let you know what you have to do for me then.” Wooyoung said before pushing himself back up to his feet. “I expect to see you after your classes end. Don’t be late.”

 

Hongseok watched as Hongbin unlocked the door and the three filed back out into the main room with the equipment, looking as if nothing had happened. The room was quiet and empty once more. He buried his head back into his arms. He couldn’t bring himself to move. Everything hurt. His head, his neck, his back, his heart. It all hurt. He should have stayed home. 

He stayed huddled on the floor for what must have been an hour. No one came in or out of the locker room. He just sat in silence, unable to do anything more. It took everything left inside him to push himself up off the floor. His limbs were heavy as he drug them towards the showers. They were empty save for an abandoned bar of soap and a stray sock. He guided his legs to the row of white porcelain sinks that lined the wall. The mirror wasn’t kind to him. It didn’t pity him and say it wasn’t as bad as it felt. Hongseok sighed as he stared at the gash on his cheek. He should have stayed home.

The hot water stung as he did his best to wash away the blood. The muscles in his neck screamed for him to stop when he bent his neck forward. Lights fluttered around the edges of his vision. His hands gripped the edge of the sink for support when a bout of vertigo hit him hard. He wondered if he got a concussion from all the times his head hit the lockers. The stiff paper towels burned as he used them to dry his face. His temples throbbed with an incoming migraine. He should have stayed home.

Eyes followed him through the gym as he made his way to the entrance. His hood was pulled up over his head once more and his hands gripped the strap of his bags so tightly it turned his knuckles white. It felt like every person in the gym had their eyes glued to him. The air felt too warm and too thick. The thought of having an asthma attack in the middle of the gym only made Hongseok panic more. Did he remember to bring his inhaler? Afraid of only drawing more attention to himself, he fought back the urge to walk faster. He should have stayed home.

The long walk back managed to feel even longer. His legs didn’t want to follow orders anymore and he found himself stumbling over curbs and cracks in the concrete. The morning rush had already started and finished by the time he left the gym, so the streets were all but empty save for an old couple and their dog. It wouldn’t have been so bad to walk past them, if it hadn’t been for the growling coming from the old terrier. The old man yanked him away by his leash before he could snap and Hongseok’s legs. He should have stayed home. 

His breathing was forced and ragged by the time he made it back to the apartment building. He had to sit down in the lobby for a few minutes until the room stopped spinning. The elevator took longer than usual and his chest started to feel tight. He stumbled in as soon as the doors opened with a ding, quickly clicking the button for the fifth floor. In panic, he dug through his bag. No inhaler. It was probably still on his desk. If he hadn’t left, he wouldn’t have needed it. He should have stayed home.

After fumbling with his keys at the door for a good five minutes, he heard a click as it was unlocked from the inside and an angry Yan An appeared from the other side. His eyes went round as he heard Hongseok wheeze. The blond hurriedly pulled him inside and sat him down in the living room, running back to his room to look for his inhaler. He wasn’t paying attention to when Changgu sat down beside him, but he was holding him up by the shoulders with a worried look on his face. Hongseok tugged at the collar of his hoodie, hoping it was just too tight and that this wasn’t happening. He really should have just stayed home.

 

_________________

 

Jinho hesitated, his thumbs hovering above the screen. It’d been almost an entire week since he last texted Hongseok. A whole week. How had so much happened in just a week. They made up. It shouldn’t be this hard to ask a simple question. He took a deep breath and typed it out.

 

From Jinho:  
Hey, you want to come over this weekend? 

 

_Was that good enough?_

 

From Jinho:  
Hyunggu really misses you

 

_Wait no, that sounded bad._

 

From Jinho:  
I mean we both do

 

 _Was that too much?_ When did Jinho get so bad at texting? He ran a hand through his light copper hair in frustration. 

 

From Jinho:  
I’ll cook

From Jinho:  
We can have dinner together like before

 

He hoped that final addition made up for the awkwardness of the first few texts. He locked his phone and sat it down beside himself on the couch. 

“Wooseok and Yuto are coming over tonight!” Hyunggu called from his bedroom. Jinho turned his head as he appeared in the hallway. “Unless you don’t want them to?”

“Nah, it’s fine. They can come over.” Jinho laughed. “Wooseok’s a good kid, and I want to officially meet Yuto.” At the mention of his boyfriend’s name Hyunggu’s cheeks flushed.

“Don’t freak him out, okay? He’s... well. He’s sort of a scaredy cat.” Hyunggu admitted, twiddling his thumbs.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you act so soft over anyone before.” The older teased. Hyunggu crossed his arms and looked away, lower lip stuck out in a pout. 

“I’m allowed to be soft over my boyfriend.” He retorted.

“Yeah, But normally all you want to talk about is what you did in bed with your partners, so this is new.” Jinho pointed out. “You don’t normally know this much about anyone before seeing them naked. I’m kind of proud of you.” He caught his phone light up out of the corner of his eye and picked it up to check the notification. 

_Hongseok is typing..._

“It’s just because Yuto isn’t comfortable with that stuff yet. He’s too shy.” Hyunggu defended. “I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“And that’s great that you care about him enough to do that. That’s why I’m proud.” Jinho reasoned, partially distracted.

“Are you texting someone?” Hyunggu raised an eyebrow and bent forward over the back of the couch to look. He snickered when he read the top text on the screen. “Hyunggu misses you? Is that really all you could think of?” Jinho swatted at him as he watched the three dots in the bottom corner appear and then disappear multiple times.

“I’m trying to invite Hongseok over this weekend like you wanted. Things are still weird, give me a break.” Jinho hissed.

“You just got into an argument, whats there to be weird about? You two made up, didn’t you?” Hyunggu pried. Jinho shot him an annoyed glare.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh, okay, I see how it is.” The younger rolled his eyes and slid away from the couch. “I’m going to go buy some snacks. I’ll be back before Wooseok and a Yuto get here.”

“Drive safe.” Jinho called before Hyunggu walked out the front door.

 

From Hongseok:  
What day?

 

Jinho cocked his head to the side. It had taken Hongseok an awfully long time to type out two words.

 

From Jinho:  
Does Saturday work?

 

A few more minutes passed by.

 

From Hongseok:  
Sure

 

Before Jinho could type out a response, the dots appeared again.

 

From Hongseok:  
I don’t think I’ll be a great house guest though. I haven’t been feeling that great.

 

Jinho furrowed his eyebrows.

 

From Jinho:  
Everything okay?

 

Ten minutes passed with the dots appearing and disappearing.

 

From Hongseok:  
Not really

 

Jinho chewed on his bottom lip.

 

From Jinho:  
Do you want to talk about it?

From Jinho:  
I’ll listen if you do

 

The next message took a while.

 

From Hongseok:  
Have you seen the video?

From Jinho:  
Video?

From Hongseok:  
On twitter? No one must have tagged you since they didn’t know you... so you haven’t seen it?

From Jinho:  
I guess not, what about it?

From Hongseok:  
[outgoing link]

 

Jinho blinked in disbelief at the thumbnail.

 

From Jinho:  
Hongseok

From Jinho:  
What is this

From Hongseok:  
You don’t have to watch it but

 

Another pause.

 

From Hongseok:  
One of the upperclassmen in my major...

From Hongseok:  
Filmed us

From Hongseok:  
He posted it somewhere and then a sophomore reposted it on twitter

From Hongseok:  
I think the whole student body in the medical school has seen it

 

Jinho drug a hand over his face in disbelief and let out a long breath.

 

From Jinho:  
Are you serious? 

From Hongseok:  
...unfortunately 

 

Jinho braced himself and opened the link. He hid his gasp behind his hand as the video auto played. It was shot at an angle so that only Hongseok’s face could be clearly seen. Jinho didn’t know where to look. Hongseok’s hand on his thigh? The one on the back of his neck and buried in his hair? His own arms wrapped around Hongseok’s neck? What about his legs that were wrapped around Hongseok’s waist? Something about watching the video felt wrong. Just like how kissing Hongseok back felt wrong. But he couldn’t look away, just like he couldn’t pull away at the party.

After the video repeated for the third time, he scrolled down to check the comments. There were so many. The words being thrown around made his stomach churn. He felt like some animal being put on display. He couldn’t scroll any further. Quickly, he switched back to his messenger app.

 

From Hongseok:  
Jinho

From Hongseok:  
I don’t know what to do

From Jinho:  
We need to report this

From Hongseok:  
Changgu and Yan An already did and it just made everything worse

From Jinho:  
What do you mean it made everything worse?

 

Waiting for Hongseok to reply only made him more anxious.

 

From Hongseok:  
I can’t leave my apartment without people staring at me Jinho

From Hongseok:  
They glare at me and avoid me like I have an infectious disease

From Hongseok:  
I can’t even go get coffee or go to the gym without being threatened

 

That struck a chord with Jinho.

 

From Jinho:  
Who

From Hongseok:  
What?

From Jinho:  
Who’s threatening you

From Hongseok:  
Some upperclassmen

From Jinho:  
What do they look like? Can you send me pictures?

From Hongseok:  
Jinho I don’t understand

From Jinho:  
Send me pictures so I know who to fucking strangle if I ever see them on the streets

From Hongseok:  
Jinho I don’t think that would help

From Jinho:  
Then I’ll call the damn cops if I have to! That’s harassment! Hell, I’ll get a friend to sue their asses!

From Hongseok:  
Jinho please stop

From Hongseok:  
I don’t want to get anymore people involved

From Hongseok:  
I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it

From Jinho:  
This involves me too! 

From Jinho:  
I’m not just going to sit here while all these people are doing this to you

From Hongseok:  
Please just drop it. It’s not that big of a deal

From Jinho:  
Hongseok. You just said you couldn’t leave your apartment. This is very much a big deal.

 

The long pause between replies proved I’m right.

 

From Hongseok:  
I don’t feel like talking about this anymore.

 

Jinho frowned at his phone screen.

 

From Jinho:  
I’m just worried about you.

 

It was his turn to pause.

 

From Jinho:  
I don’t know what I’d do if anyone hurt you.

 

_Was That too much?_

 

_________________

 

“I set you up an appointment at the clinic for tomorrow.” Yan An said as he dug through the cabinets for a couple mugs.

“Why did you do that?” Hongseok asked, all the fighting spirit already drained from him. He was standing slightly slumped over in his pajamas, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

“Because I know you and you’re going to stress yourself out so much that you’ll make yourself sick.” Yan An answered as he dropped a tea bag in each mug and poured the steaming water from the kettle over them until it was just a few centimeters below the rim. He handed one to Hongseok and he held it between his hands, staring at the slowly darkening liquid as the heat seeped through his palms.

“What can they even do?” He asked, the tone in his voice skirting on the edge of sounding hopeless.

“They can suggest different ways of coping with this sort of stress. Maybe prescribe you something to settle your stomach. Suggest a diet that will be easier for you to keep down. Whatever they do, it’s worth a shot if it might help you.” Yan An said as he leaned back against the counter, his own mug in hand. 

“Is it wrong to just want to hibernate through all of it?” Hongseok questioned, still staring at the contents of his mug.

“It’s not wrong, but it’s not the right choice.” Yan An sighed. He brought his mug to his lips and blew on the steaming brown liquid. They both stood silently as they waited for the tea to cool enough to drink. 

Hongseok broke the silence with a quiet “Jinho invited me to come eat dinner with him and Hyunggu on Saturday.” 

“Are you okay with going over there so soon?” Yan An asked, concern softening his eyes as he took a sip from his mug. Hongseok nodded slowly in response. Yan An frowned.

“I miss him more than it hurts to be around him.” The older hesitantly admitted. 

“Don’t feel obligated to stay longer than you’re comfortable staying over there, Okay? And if you need anything you know you can call me or Changgu.” Yan An took on the worried yet stern parental tone he only used when he was genuinely concerned. Hongseok tore his eyes away from the mug and finally looked at the blond.

All he could manage was a mumbled “Okay.”

 

_Ding!_

 

They both turned their heads to the toaster as it signaled it was finished. Hongseok couldn’t help but feel relieved for the conveniently timed distraction from the topic he brought up himself. Yan An pulled the two halves of a bagel out of the slots, grumbling about how burnt they were.

“We need a new toaster.”

Hongseok took that as his chance to escape into the living room, darting around the corner and doing his best to make himself comfortable on the floor. After a few minutes, Yan An followed him, mug and plate of burnt bagels in hand. He sat down beside him, leaning back against the couch and legs tucked under the coffee table. Everything was still for a few minutes as they both stared at the black television screen, neither making a move to turn it on. 

“Changgu’s birthday is coming up.” Yan An stated, his best attempt to break the silence. Hongseok hummed in acknowledgment, his eyes once again fixed on his mug. “I don’t know what to get him.”

“You know no matter what you get he still thinks just having you is enough, right?” The older told him, voice qflst.

“But that’s so cheesy!” Yan An whined. Hongseok knew he was trying to help take his mind off things, but he still wasn’t completely ready for questions like this. “I can’t just give him _me_! I want to get him something, but he won’t tell me anything.” 

“Has he talked about anything he’s into recently?” Hongseok sighed. Yan An shook his head in frustration. “What about when you two go out? Has he seen anything in a store that he stared at for a while? Something he didn’t want to let go of?”

“He always has to touch every soft thing in a store, you know this. It’s hard to tell when he just likes how something feels and when he wants something.” Yan An explained. 

“Then just get him something soft. He won’t dislike anything that’s soft and fuzzy. Just don’t get him another sweater. We need to cut him off.” A hint of a smile fell over Hongseok’s lips at the last part of his suggestion. Yan An snickered and nodded in agreement.

“Maybe I could get him that nice throw blanket we saw at the boutique down the street? And some flowers. Or would that make him cry?” The blond furrowed his brows and looked to Hongseok, worry washing over his features. The older quirked an eyebrow.

“Yan An. He cries every year. He’ll cry even if we just get him a cake.”

“Right. You’re right. He’s a softie. I’ll make sure I have tissues on hand.”

 

_________________

 

“Jinho!” The aforementioned man froze as the tall child that had just entered his apartment rushed toward him for a hug. He let out a little squeak as he was lifted away from the safety of the floor and twirled around in Wooseok’s arms.

“Wooseok! You’re going to kill him!” Hyunggu whined from the door, taking his time as he took his shoes off. Wooseok laughed nervously in response and let Jinho back down out of his arms. The older’s legs felt like jelly when they touched the wood panels. He stumbled backwards towards the living room.

“Sorry Jinho.” Wooseok apologized with a slight pout. Jinho justed smiled and waved it off. He was just a large, over excited puppy, how could he be mad?

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” He leaned against the back of the couch for support.

“Aaaaaaaaand look who else I brought along!” Hyunggu sang as he pulled another unreasonably tall man into the apartment. Jinho covered his mouth with his hand, hoping to hide his amused smile at the absolutely flustered expression on the man’s face.

“You must be Yuto?” Jinho said, voice lilting at the end in an accidentally questioning tone.

“O-oh? Yes.” Yuto replied, awkwardly bowing to the shorter man. When he straightened back up, Jinho noticed his unoccupied hand fidgeting at his side. The poor kid was so nervous he didn’t know what to do with his free hand. Yuto’s eyes didn’t seem to want to meet his for more than a quick second here and there. 

“Yuto, this is Jinho.” Hyunggu grinned. “The one I told you was basically my older brother.” Yuto nodded at Hyunggu, hesitant to look away from the more familiar face.

“Yuto, he’s not going to murder you or anything.” Wooseok groaned. That made a small spurt of laughter bubble out of Jinho’s throat. Hyunggu couldn’t help but follow with his own fit of giggles. It was satisfying to know he intimidated at least _one_ of these giants. Yuto joined in the laughter with uncertainty.

“It’s nice to finally meet the man behind all the sparkly heart emojis.” Jinho smiled and extended a hand towards him. That sent Yuto sputtering. His cheeks went rosy and round as he stuttered between an attempt at defending his use of the sparkly heart emoji and asking how Jinho knew.

“Jinhoooo! Don’t tease him!” Hyunggu whined and softly hit Jinho on the arm. He couldn’t wipe the amused smile off his face, but apologized anyway.

“Sorry, Sorry. But it really is nice to meet you Yuto.” Jinho said, giving his second attempt at a handshake. After a moment of hesitation, Yuto accepted it gave it a firm, formal shake. Jinho took a sharp inhale as he watched Yuto’s hand swallow his. Just like Hongseok’s had on the day they met. But why was he thinking about Hongseok? He wasn’t even here. He was meeting his sort-of-little-brother’s boyfriend. He shook his head to shake the thought away and beamed up at Yuto. Why did everyone he met this semester have such _large_ hands? 

“N-nice to meet you too.” Finally, Yuto returned his smile, more genuine and confident than before.

“Awww. How cute.” Wooseok said in a mocking, high pitch voice. “ _So_ , what were we going to do about dinner?” Ah, so that was why he was here.

“Wooseok, please. We just got here.” Hyunggu scolded. Wooseok shrugged as if he’d done nothing wrong.

“Just asking.”

Jinho laughed. “How about we order pizza? I’ll pay since this is the first time meeting both of you together.” Hyunggu gasped at the proposal.

“You don’t have to do that, Jinho!” For the first time since returning home, he let go of Yuto’s hand just to wave them in front of himself in absolute disagreement.

“It’s okay. I want to.” Jinho gave them all a sheepish grin. “But I cant afford more than two large pizzas, so if you want more than that I’ll need a little help...” He scratched at the back of his head, suddenly embarrassed at the sorry state of his bank account. So maybe he shouldn’t have spontaneously bought hair dye. At least Hyojong already had some bleach on hand.

“I can pay for a third.” Yuto spoke up. Hyunggu whipped his head around in surprise. “Or I can pay for all three and you can pay me back later.”

“Yes. I am absolutely okay with that let’s do it. I’ll call the closest pizza place.” Wooseok said before anyone could object. He whipped out his phone and started searching for “pizza near me”.

“Yuto, you don’t have to do that, you’re the guest.” Jinho told him.

Yuto coughed, cheeks tinted with the faintest shade of pink. “But I should make a good first impression, since you and Hyunggu are basically family.” Hyunggu placed both his hands on his chest and shot heart eyes at his boyfriend. Jinho shook his head and smiled.

“Okay, I like this kid. I’ll let you pay. I’ll pay you back for the first two after we eat and I can find my wallet.” Yuto beamed at him with his brightest smile and Jinho had to admit, it was hard not to fall for this boy.

 

_________________

 

 

“H-hello. I brought...” Hongseok’s words died in his throat as he looked up from the two liter of soda in his hand and up at Jinho. The shorter man blinked at him a couple times and looked down at the bottle. “I didn’t feel like cooking so I brought something to drink instead.”

“You didn’t need to bring anything.” 

He’s pretty sure Jinho saw him squirm in discomfort, as he quickly moved to the side to let him through the doorway.

“What happened to your cheek?” He asked as Hongseok passed by him, catching sight of the bandage over his right cheekbone.

“Nothing. It’s fine.” He replied, all too quickly. He could practically see the gears turning in Jinho’s head. He slipped out of his shoes and fled to the kitchen, intending to avoid this topic again.

“Was it the upperclassmen you mentioned?”

“I said it was nothing.” He adjusted his glasses, nerves making him fidget.

“If they hurt you, you shouldn’t stay quiet about it.” The shorter man pressed. 

“I mean it. It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” He continued, placing the bottle on the counter as he refused to turn to face the other.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, then it must be more than nothing.”

He took a deep breath and swiveled around on his heel.

“Jinho, if you want to interrogate me I’m going to leave.” His tone was stern as he stared him down. Jinho took a step back.

“I-I was just worried...”

“Don’t be. Please.” Hongseok sighed. 

“As your friend I’m concerned for your well being.” Jinho said as he straightened his back. But his face didn’t match his confident stance. He was sure Jinho could see the sadness in his eyes. He was sure he saw the dark bags that hung beneath them. He was sure he saw it all as they faced each other in silence. The slump of his shoulders. The way his hair stuck up in every direction, as if he hadn’t bothered to fix it when he’d gotten out of bed. The way his glasses were crooked no matter how many times he tried to fix them. The downwards curl of the corners of his lips. The way his steps and words were equally as careful and uncertain. All of it.

“As my friend... can we just have a night where we don’t talk about any of this?” Hongseok asked, not meaning for it to sound so tired and pleading. Jinho scrunched his eyebrows together and drew his lips into a thin line. He was fighting inside himself over what to say in response. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

“Yeah. We can do that.” Jinho cast his face downwards and nodded, moving past him to pull bowls and utensils from the cabinets. Not pushing him for answers was the least he could do. “What do you want to eat? We have everything to make ramen, and... okay so it turns out we just have ramen noodles, eggs, and the vegetables I bought earlier.” He stared at the almost empty fridge, remembering how he’d chosen to be a generous big brother and buy pizza for Hyunggu and his friends instead of save his money to buy groceries for today. He was a little mad since Hyunggu had whined about missing Hongseok so badly when he wouldn’t even be back until later. It’s not like he could skip his meeting with the dance team when they knew he was still in town over break, but still.

“Anything you make is fine.” Hongseok replied, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Jinho grunted in response and grabbed the vegetables from the drawer and shut the fridge with a dull thud. 

“Ramen it is.” 

Jinho set everything up to get to work. The cutting board was ready and waiting next to the sink. Leeks were in the sink ready to be washed. The pot was waiting on the stove already filled with a mix of water and the cup of leftover broth Jinho found in the shelf on the fridge door. The ramen was ready still in it’s packaging just beside it. He took his time cutting the vegetables. He sliced up the mushrooms into thin strips, the carrots into chunky coins, the green onions into two cm long chunks, and the cabbage into small cubes he further separated with his hands. 

The stovetop started up with a click and the flames slowly lowered as Jinho turned the dial, until they just barely skimmed the bottom of the pot. As the liquid began to heat up, Jinho let out a long breath. 

Unbeknownst to him, Hongseok was sitting at the counter, watching him with the smallest sliver of a smile. He quickly flicked his eyes back down to the counter when Jinho turned around. 

“So... did you end up getting the job at the daycare?” He asked, finally breaking the silence that was sitting heavily between them.

“Mm. I start next Tuesday.” Hongseok answered, braving another glance in his direction. “When did you dye your hair?”

“It was a spontaneous decision on Wednesday night. Hyojong did it for me. It looks weird, huh?” Jinho said, running a hand through it with an awkward laugh.

“I don’t think it looks weird. It suits you.” The words fell easily from his mouth even when it didn’t feel right to act this comfortable just yet.

“You think so? Maybe it’s just because I’ve never done anything to it before.” He slid his hand from the back of his head down to his neck.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” The small smile appeared once more on Hongseok’s lips.

“Are you excited to start at the daycare?” Jinho mirrored his smile.

“I’m a little worried about balancing my workload from school on top of it, but I’m definitely eager to start.” The conversation was getting easier. “Changgu always talks about how rewarding it is and how much he enjoys it.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to manage. You’re a good student. And I’m sure you’ll enjoy the job too. I bet the kids will love you.” Jinho assured him, looking over his shoulder to check the pot. Hongseok’s smile got a little bigger.

“I hope so. Yan An keeps telling me they won’t like me since I’m not funny.” A hint of a laugh bubbled up from his chest. 

“Not funny? I guess Yan An just doesn’t share your humor.” Jinho grinned. 

“I guess not, he’s really missing out.” 

Another laugh, but from Jinho’s lips this time. He turned as he heard the liquid in the pot start to bubble and opened the ramen. He plopped it in and pushed it under the water with a pair of chop sticks. With a series of plops and tiny splashes, he dropped in the vegetables to soften with the noodles. 

“He really is.” 

Small jars clinked together as Jinho searched through the small spice rack on the counter for what he was looking for. He pulled off four different spices and shook out strategic amounts of each into a small bowl, stirring them together with a spoon. Jinho stirred the ramen to check if it was softening correctly, pouring in some sauce from a bottle with the label nearly worn off from frequent use. He gave it one more good stir before getting the eggs out of the fridge. He stirred in the spices before turning up the heat and cracking an egg straight into the broth, whisking it in with the chop sticks. He cracked two more and let them poach in the boiling broth.

“Hongseok?” Jinho nearly squeaked as two firm arms hugged him from behind. His free hand shot up to hold onto them, survival instincts initially making him think he was about to be choked. The weight of the arms on his shoulders proved otherwise. Hongseok pressed his cheek into Jinho’s hair.

“I’m sorry.” He nearly whispered. “I just... really missed this.” He knit his brows together, knowing if he got too emotional the tears would break out again. He was getting tired of all this crying. Jinho blinked at the bubbling pot in front of him, unmoving from the embrace.

“Yeah...” His voice was soft. “I missed this too. When did it get so lonely when you’re not around?” Jinho couldn’t stop himself before the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“When it got hard to talk to you after the party.” Was Hongseok’s sad reply.

“Can we just forget what happened? Pretend we didn’t do anything dumb and just act like before?” Jinho asked, thumb running back and forth over the cotton fabric of Hongseok’s long sleeve tee.

“Can we?” He asked, the smallest, tiniest, note of hope lacing his voice.

“If you’re okay with it we can.” 

“I’m okay with that.”

“You won’t be hurt?”

“Not if we can be how we were.”

“Then let’s both forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I’m sorry Hongseok, I love you, you are a candidate for becoming my ult bias, you deserve the world, I hope you never see this. 
> 
> I hope the initial make up scene wasn’t too rushed? I felt like it would be a spill your guts or not say a word sort of situation, but I still rewrote it nearly a dozen times. 
> 
> But! This is the end of the majority of the angst! The situation with the mean upperclassmen will be resolved soon because Yan An has powerful connections he’s not afraid to use. Softness shall ensue and things will heat up again, but in a heart melting sort of way.
> 
>  
> 
> As always thank you for reading and your continued support! All comments and love in general is appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	8. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things finally start to get back to normal, but Jinho gains some unexpected competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Dawnie day everyone! It’s been a while since we last met, huh? Well, I’m happy to say I’m finally unpacked and my dogs are finally starting to let me sleep (thank goodness I thought I was going to go insane).
> 
> On that note, I have a weird mixture of a warning and apology. I said I’d make chapter 8 completely soft again. While I was writing, I realized just _how_ long it was getting to make that happen. To spare everyone’s eyes and give you a moment to breathe and take in everything that’s happening, I’ll be splitting what was originally going to one chapter into two. This means not all the issues are completely resolved by the end of this chapter. However! It’s not nearly as angsty as the last two and is thoroughly packed with moments of fluff, comedy, and friendship.
> 
> This is also fresh out of the writing app with very little editing and checking for grammar and spelling errors. I’ll try to come back and fix up any errors within the next couple days, I just felt bad for making you all wait so long!
> 
> Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy!

“Oh really?” Jinho laughed, smushing Hongseok’s cheeks with his hands. The younger was too busy cracking up along with him to get out a reply. He was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch with his head tilted back into Jinho’s lap as they attempted to watch some dumb sitcom they found on tv. Jinho was cross legged on the couch, looking down at Hongseok and cupping both sides of his face with his hands.

“I swear. When I was a kid I was wild.” Hongseok giggled out. Jinho furrowed his brows in disbelief.

“I find that awfully hard to believe. You’re such a freaking nerd. How could anyone like you be a rowdy child?” He snorted. Hongseok playfully bat at his arm.

“Okay so not when I was little, like really little. I mean around middle school age.” He tried to defend.

“Everyone is at least a little wild in middle school. That doesn’t count!” Jinho rolled the younger’s head back and forth, making his smile go big and boxy as he tried to hold back his laughter.

“What about sneaking out at night to go to the park with friends?” He asked.

“The park? That’s the lamest place to sneak out to. That doesn’t count.” Jinho taunted.

“Or what about hiding behind a tall guy at the theater to get into an R-rated movie?” 

“It would have been more impressive if you’d gotten a fake ID.”

“Fine, Fine. What about stealing a dog from an abusive house hold?”

“Such a courageous soul at such a young age. You gotta do something bad to be called wild, not something as good as saving a dog and giving it a better home.”

“Okay, Okay. So maybe I wasn’t crazy or anything.” He admitted between chuckles. The warmth of Jinho’s hands and the lack of oxygen from laughing so hard made his cheeks darken to a rosy shade of pink. They just laughed and grinned at each other like happy little kids until they could pull themselves together.

“It’s nice to see you two being so friendly again.” They both turned their heads to catch sight of Hyunggu leaning in the doorway, his bag still slung over his shoulder. He grinned real wide and practically tackled Hongseok. The taller man let out an “oof” as he rolled onto the ground with the youngest resident on top of him, hugging him tight.

“Hyunggu! I missed you too!” He said, happily, hugging the boy back just as tight. “But you smell terrible, get off me!” He made a face and pushed Hyunggu off of him with a cackle. 

“But Hongseokkie~ I haven’t seen you in forever!” He whined, but making no effort to move from his spot on the floor. 

“Go shower, you brat.” Jinho smiled, resting his chin in his hand as he looked down at the two.

“But I wanna hang out with both of you!” He stuck his lower lip out and obnoxiously pouted in Jinho’s general direction.

“I’m not going anywhere for at least a few more hours, go shower.” Hongseok told him, trying to offer some sort of consolation. Hyunggu rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

“Fiiiiiiiine.” He grinned and sat up, scrunching his nose up at Jinho. “I’ll go shower. But you better expect to be aggressively cuddled when I’m done.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less from you.” Jinho playfully sneered. Hyunggu stuck his tongue out at him as he walked back to the direction of the bedrooms.

“I see he’s just as cute as ever.” Hongseok said, looking up at Jinho.

“Oh yes, and still spoiled rotten as fuck.” They both fell into another fit of laughter. It was nice. So, so nice.

“I heard that, you meanies!” Hyunggu yelled from down the hall.

“We love you Hyunggu!” Jinho called back in his direction. They both heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start up. 

“So what’s my sweet child been up to?” Hongseok asked, sitting back up to face Jinho. He rolled his eyes with a smile.

“You’ll never guess.” He said smugly.

“Sinning? As usual?” Hongseok raised an eyebrow.

“Surprisingly, no.”

“Oh really? Then I’m out of guesses. What’s he getting himself into now?” 

Jinho let the fondest warmest smile possible fall over his face. “Your sweet child got himself a boyfriend.” Hongseok gasped behind his hand.

“A boyfriend? Our little Hyunggu is in a stable relationship?” Hongseok asked, in an exaggeratedly surprised tone.

“Mhm.” Jinho nodded. “And he’s a good kid too. He’s got my approval.”

“What’s he like?” Hongseok pressed, curiosity twinkling in his eyes. The eyes Jinho didn’t know why he’d been staring into for so long.

“Taller than you. Uh. Really polite. Like way too polite. It might be because he’s Japanese? I know all the Japanese people I’ve met were all insanely polite. A handsome kid. All sharp features but his cheeks get all squishy when he smiles. Hyunggu won’t shut up about them. He’s in Hyunggu’s year and on the baseball team. He’s also the shyest person I’ve ever met. He got flustered when I mentioned the sparkly heart emojis I’ve seen him send back and forth in Hyunggu’s texts.” Jinho rambled on. Hongseok placed a hand over his heart and had the same fond smile plastered across his face as Jinho had earlier.

“I’m so glad he found someone nice. I was worried about him.” Hongseok admitted. 

“Yeah, me too. He was getting way too wild for a while there. I think this guy is good for him. Much better than any of the past guys or girls for sure.” Jinho sighed.

“I take it he isn’t usually a great judge of character?” Hongseok asked as he crawled back to his previous spot.

“Nah. But he also didn’t want anything that was going to last. It was all just one nighters and extended hookups. He won’t admit it, but he still gets really attached. I think it was starting to wear him down. The people he slept with knew it wasn’t going to last either so they didn’t risk any feelings like Hyunggu did. He’s still a kid. He gets crushes. He gets feelings. It’s hard to do anything at his age with absolutely no strings attached.” Hongseok nodded in understanding and leaned his head back into Jinho’s lap.

“Then at what age do you think people stop having strings attached?” He asked, staring up at him.

“I don’t know? 22 seems reasonable.”

“Well dang, I guess I missed the memo.” Hongseok deadpanned. 

“I don’t know, I’ve been doing fine at it for the past two years.” Jinho laughed.

“Woah, wait. Hang on. _Two years_?”

“Yeah, I’m twenty four. But it’s about to be three years soon.”

“Why are you so _old_? You look so much younger than that!” He exclaimed. Jinho nearly smacked his head out of his lap.

“I waited to go to college so I’d have enough money to pay for tuition. But you’re old compared to others in your class, so what’s your excuse?” Jinho countered.

“I studied abroad for high school and wanted a year to get used to Korea again before starting college.” He explained easily.

“Okay, that’s a valid reason.”

The faucet squeaked as the water stopped. Jinho turned his head as Hyunggu exited the bathroom, towel drying his hair. He threw his dirty clothes into his room and rejoined the older men in the living room.

“Welcome back.” Hongseok beamed. Hyunggu returned the smile and sat next to him on the floor. “I heard you got yourself a cute boy.” The younger’s cheeks turned a rosy pink as Hongseok snickered. Hyunggu gaped at him and then at Jinho, narrowing his eyes at the smug look on the eldest’s face.

“S-so what if I did?” He puffed out his chest, attempting to act tough.

“Does he treat you well?” Hongseok asked, wrapping and arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. Hyunggu cast his eyes to the ground and gave a flustered nod.

“Do you two have much in common?” Hyunggu looked up at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as different from me.” He admitted.

“So you don’t have any similar interests?” Hongseok raised his eyebrows in concern.

“N-no we do! I mean, it’s mostly personality-wise. We both like movies and music and he likes being active.” He stuttered.

“What do you mean by _active_?” Jinho raised an eyebrow as he caught on to what Hongseok was asking. An amused smile stretched across his face as he waited for Hyunggu to get it.

“Well, he likes to work out and he goes for runs with me sometimes. And he’s on the baseball team. And um. He tries to dance when I take him to clubs or parties, but he’s not the greatest and he’s shy but it’s kind of cute.” Hyunggu explained, playing with his hands anxiously as he rambled on.

“So not... _sexually_ active?” Hyunggu’s face was nearly as red as a tomato when Hongseok finished speaking.

“NO! OH MY GOD. NO.” Hyunggu screeched, burying his face in his hands. He whipped his head around to Jinho with pleading eyes begging for help. Jinho just kept that dumb, smug grin on his face and his lips shut tight. 

“So are you not actually into him or is he asexual?” Hongseok asked seriously.

“No. No. He’s...” Hyunggu struggled for words for a few moments as his face got redder and redder. “He’s too shy. But he wants to! But just not... right now. He’s never even dated anyone before me. He’d die if he knew you two were so interested in our sex life, so please stop asking me.”

“Hyunggu.... is dating....” Hongseok blinked at him in surprise. “Someone who’s never even dated before?” 

“Insane, right?” Jinho snorted from his spot on the couch. The remark earned him a glare from Hyunggu.

“Oh, come on! I can date whoever I want, don’t act so surprised.” Hyunggu grumbled, crossing his arms.

“You’re absolutely right, you can. I’m just... happily surprised.” Hongseok reasoned, ruffling the younger’s hair. Hyunggu scrunched his brows together and gave him a confused look.

“I think he feels like I do.” Jinho cut in. “This feels like a really mature step for you. You aren’t just dating him just to play around.” Hyunggu drew his lips together in thought.

“Jinho’s right. That’s what I think too. I’m really proud that you found someone who makes you happy without sex and partying needing to be involved all the time.” Hongseok agreed. He thought Hyunggu looked a little teary eyed at their words. “It’s a lot less stress on your body and your heart, I think. And as a college student, you really don’t need anymore stress.”

That final addition was all it took to make Hyunggu pull Hongseok into a tight hug, sniffling shamelessly into the crook of his neck. Jinho let out a little chuckle at the scene. Hongseok comfortingly ran a hand up and down his back, falling victim to a bout of fond and amused laughter.

“Why do you both sound like my parents?” Hyunggu said between sniffles.

“Because we basically are.” Jinho laughed.

 

______________

 

Monday eventually arrived and the reality of how close the deadline for his senior thesis was finally hit Jinho. Unfortunately, it hit him right in the middle of his 8am art history class and everyone turned to look at him when he accidentally started choking. 

“Sorry.” He choked out, finally managing to catch his breath. The other students rolled their eyes and turned back around in their seats. Jinho wondered if they were so bored out of their minds that they’d rather watch him choke than listen to the teacher drone on any longer. He was awfully monotonous. His voice would put anyone to sleep, or make their thoughts wonder elsewhere.

So it wasn’t surprising when Jinho started writing out a checklist of all the things he still needed to do before he could graduate instead of writing down every single thing Salvador Dali used for symbolism and the meaning of each one. That plan of action would probably turn around and bite him on the next exam, but that wasn’t his current concern.

He was almost finished with his collaborative piece with Hui, he’d completed his hypothetical film score, along with most of the basic genres they had to cover. Now all that was left was finishing up his individual works and a rearrangement cover of a song of his choice. They were expected to complete an album of at least six songs utilizing their skills and outside artists to help them. Jinho would only have three once he and Hui were finished. Three. Only halfway there, with only two and a half months left. Jinho nearly started choking again.

When did he lose so much time?

“And that concludes today’s class. Be sure to be familiar with Dali’s ideologies and symbolism for the exam next week.” The teacher drawled, gathering his papers.

There it was, karma. Jinho hadn’t heard a word. He looked around the room frantically, trying to find either a familiar face or a weak looking freshman he could convince to let him copy their notes. His eyes fell on a girl with short black hair cropped right above her shoulders and he nearly cursed.

“H-hey! Yeeun!” He called, in the sweetest tone he could manage. She whipped around when she heard her name, but frowned when she caught sight of Jinho, eyes sharp like daggers.

“What do you want?” She asked in a disgusted tone of voice as he scrambled up to her. Jinho flinched at the harshness of her voice. He guessed the shy, quiet Yeeun wasn’t so shy once someone messed with her friends.

“I-I uh... was wondering if I could copy your notes?” Jinho did his best not to stutter, but he definitely failed. Yeeun looked thoroughly unimpressed. Her sharp eyes made her even more intimidating.

“After what you pulled at the party? If you were here for the whole class, it’s your fault for not taking any notes. Why should I?” She snapped at him.

“Those are all valid points, but you see..” he started, but the look in her eyes made it hard to come up with good excuses. “Look, I was really drunk at the party. I do really dumb things when I’m drunk. I know that’s not a good excuse, but I didn’t get the chance to apologize to Seungyeon about the whole thing and I’m really sorry. I completely understand if she hates me now. I would too. I’m not asking to get together with her. Heck, I’d let her smack me for what I did if she wants to. I just really need to see someone’s notes. The fact that I have so much left to do for my thesis hit me in the middle of class and realizing you have such major deadlines hanging over your head in the middle of class is incredibly distracting. You’re the only one here I even remotely know. So please.” He begged, gently holding onto her sleeve so she wouldn’t go. She looked around at the other students, giving them both odd looks as they gathered their things and left the auditorium.

“She does want to smack you, you know.” Yeeun told him, crossing her arms and holding her notebook close to her chest.

“And I’ll absolutely let her if you let me copy your notes.” Jinho pleaded.

“Fine. What’s your email? I’ll scan them and send them to you.” She handed him her note book and pen to write his contact info. He hurriedly scribbled it down and took in a deep breath before he started to thank her profusely, but he was cut off.

“Meet us in the park near campus tomorrow night after our classes end at seven. Then I’ll send you the notes.” Jinho’s eyes went wide. He really was about to be slapped in exchange for art history notes. Is this what his life has come to?

“O-okay.” At his agreement, she turned on her heel and walked out of the classroom, with the hint of a satisfied smile on her face. Jinho ran a hand through his hair, already regretting what he’d just agreed to.

 

______________

 

Tuesday came and Hongseok sat on the floor in front of the couch, his favorite spot as of late, and stared at the beige ceiling of his shared apartment. His whole body ached. His meeting with Wooyoung had gone as terribly as he’d feared. It left him with bruises and a busted lip. The corner of his mouth was torn and his eyes and throat hurt from sobbing. His limbs felt like jelly. Wooyoung had even wanted to meet again, claiming one session wasn’t enough.

The floor seemed like an appealing surface to just melt into and disappear. But it hurt to lay down. It hurt to move. So he just sat there. He sat there from when he got home in the early afternoon until he heard the door unlock with a click as Changgu arrived home from his final class of the day that always ended at 6:30 pm. Yan An had a lab at the clinic until ten. He wouldn’t be home until nearly an hour after due to traffic and from picking up dinner.

“Hey, Hongseok.” Changgu quickly chirped as he walked past the living room and down the hall to the bedrooms, not sparing more than a quick glance. Hongseok continued staring upwards at the ceiling in silence, too deep in his thoughts to hear the greeting. Thoughts such as, whether he would have been as miserable had he not met Wooyoung today, whether he would have been as miserable had he refuse to follow him into a room alone, whether he should have told Soyeon what happened after the others had left him on the locker room floor for the second time, and how much he wanted to be back at Jinho’s apartment, laughing happily with his head in his lap.

Over half an hour later, Changgu reemerged from his room, most likely to hunt for a snack to hold him over until Yan An came back with their weekly Monday dinner of chicken from the place a block away from the clinic. It was always cold by the time Yan An made it home, but they were always too hungry to care. By now it had become a weekly ritual that no one made the effort to break.

“Are you still out here? We have a perfectly good couch you could be si- Hongseok?” Changgu wandered into the living room, hand coming up to cover his mouth as he took in Hongseok’s sorry state. “Hongseok? Hey, what happened?” He knelt beside him, eyes flitting to every bruise and cut. Hongseok blinked a couple times as he came back to reality. He rolled his head over to face Changgu before lifting a hand to rub at his eyes. His throat was too dry and sore to form words, so he just pulled the younger into a hug.

“Hongseok? Did... did you get in a fight?” Changgu asked, confusion mixed with concern evident on his face and in the hand that gently patted Hongseok’s back. He shook his head against Changgu’s neck. “Did someone... mug you? There’s been a lot of reports on the news...” Another shake. “Did that old lady a few floors down finally lose it and go after you for no reason?” Another shake. “Did..” a pause. “Did you get...” Changgu couldn’t finish, but Hongseok could guess what he meant, so he shook his head again and tried to speak .

“Assaulted?” He croaked. It was hazing and beating and absolutely demeaning. He was slammed against the lockers, the floor, kicked in the ribs, the stomach, his back. It was middle school level bullying experience in the third year of college, but by well built adults instead of scrawny and weak preteens.

“By who? Did you know them?” Changgu was careful with his words. Just one word didn’t say what really happened, so his mind was left to wonder the worst.

“Upperclassmen.”

“Which ones?”

“The ones that posted the video.”

Changgu let out a frustrated sigh. “Of course it was them.”

A few seconds passed in silence. Changgu had expected tears.

“Were they the reason you had that asthma attack? And why you came home beaten and bruised?” He asked, tracing a finger along Hongseok’s spine. He pulled it away when the older flinched. He nodded into the crook of Changgu’s neck once more. 

The room felt heavy with the weight of all of this. It pressed on Changgu’s shoulders and squeezed Hongseok’s chest. The younger didn’t know what to say, Hongseok’s words from before filled his heart with guilt. Should he really not have reported it? The only way he could make up for it now was to be there and listen. Only to take action when Hongseok felt safe. A simple sorry wouldn’t change anything, but the word still fell from his lips after each flinch or jerk beneath his touch. He left Hongseok on the living room floor to retrieve the first aid kit from under the bathroom sink and a glass of water to ease his sore, dry throat. Changgu was good at caring and looking after people, but fighting was hard for him. He didn’t know who to go to or who to go against. For now, he’d wait for Yan An to get back. That’s all he could do.

Hongseok’s eyes followed him around the couch as he knelt back down beside him. He helped the older out of his sweatshirt and did his best to treat his wounds. A bandage there, peroxide here, bruises littered across his tan skin, and an occasional hiss or flinch from Hongseok. They didn’t speak until it was finished and Hongseok pulled the blue sweatshirt back over his head.

“I wanted to go to Jinho’s place after it happened.” Hongseok murmured, head hung low, staring at the gray carpet.

“Hongseok...” Changgu started, but didn’t know how to finish.

“But I don’t want to go like this.” He picked at the loose thread on his sleeve. “He’s concerned and keeps asking about everything. But I don’t want him to act like he’s worried about me. Not yet. It hurts.”

Changgu’s face fell as he heard Hongseok’s voice grow shaky.

“He wants to go out and fight anyone who lays a hand on me. You know how that sounds... How hopeful it can make someone...” He ruffled his hair in frustration.

“I know how it sounds.” Changgu said, followed by a sigh.

“It’s just so nice being around him, though. When he stops asking about everything and pretends the party didn’t happen. When he isn’t afraid to be close to me and doesn’t move away when I reach for him or if I sit too close.” The words felt hollow, as they both knew none of it would lead to anything.

“Hongseok.”

He lifted his head to meet his friend’s gaze. It was soft, but something about it was strong, stable, _determined_.

“Jinho is an asshole. Don’t hang onto loose threads like this. Get over him.” Hongseok’s eyes went wide. “You’re just hurting yourself and I’m sick of seeing you do it.”

“Changgu I can’t, I-“

“No, you’ve gotten over worse. Don’t say it’s too hard.”

Hongseok snapped his mouth shut.

“If you’re that desperate to have something with someone, look somewhere else besides Jinho.” Changgu placed a firm hand on Hongseok’s shoulder. The older’s eyes flicked down at it and back to Changgu’s face.

“Me and Yan An were going to go bowling with Seokwoo and the others this weekend. They really want you to come too, but didn’t want to force you if you don’t feel up to it. Sanghyuk is tagging along.”

“I don’t understand where you’re going with this.” Hongseok admitted.

“If you want a relationship so badly, go bowling with us. Play a match with Sanghyuk, talk to him. He’s got the most obvious crush on you and practically swoons when anyone even says your name. Give him a chance. See how it goes. If anything, you can say you tried and it might be the perfect distraction from Jinho. Who knows, you might even end up liking him back.” Changgu explained.

“He... is it... is it really obvious? Sanghyuk?” He gaped, perplexed by how he’d never noticed.

“He’s had heart eyes for you since you two met.” Changgu replied flatly. Hongseok blinked in confusion. 

“Do you think it would actually help?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“But I barely know him.”

“Then use this as your chance to change that.”

 

______________

 

He felt like he was going to be sick. Here he was, walking through the park, happy families playing around him, dogs running with their owners, street lamps buzzing, on his way to get punched by the girl he made out with at the party. Jinho couldn’t help but remember how her arms had felt firm and strong beneath his hands. She was probably strong. What if she killed him?

“Okay, calm down. That’s a little much.” He quietly told himself as he looked around for the two girls he was meant to meet. He froze when he saw them sitting together on the fountain further down the path. They turned their heads and caught sight of him at the same time. He gulped. He couldn’t read their expressions from this far away, but they likely both had scowls on their faces. With a deep breath, he continued walking towards the fountain.

“Jinho. Long time no see.” Seungyeon said with a venomous smile. “Glad you could make it.” Yeeun slid her eyes towards the older girl and snapped them back towards Jinho. She held up her phone, email composed and ready to send with a link to all of the notes in the body text. Jinho gulped.

“I believe you have an apology to give?” She calmly asked and sat her phone back down beside her, locking it. Jinho nodded and turned to Seungyeon. He got goose bumps just from her icy stare. 

“I know- I know being drunk isn’t a great excuse, but I was very, very drunk. I honestly didn’t realize it wasn’t you I was kissing. You clearly have a much higher alcohol tolerance than I do and I’m sort of jealous, honestly. But I was dumb, I was dumb and an absolute fool. You have every right to hate me and every right to smack me as was agreed for my part of the deal. I don’t know if it eases your mind at all, but me and Hongseok are just friends. I’m probably the straightest guy you’ll meet. I can assure you the kiss didn’t mean anything besides being proof of how drunk I was.” Jinho rambled, nerves making his hands tremble at his sides.

“You deserve to be mad and I apologize for leading you on in any way. It wasn’t my intention to do what I did. I’ll be completely honest I just wanted to get laid. That’s the only reason I went to the party. I’m just a gross, stupid guy who got drunk off his ass. I’m sorry for any pain I caused and I’m willing to take whatever punishment you think I deserve. I’ll never bother you or your friends again, I’ll make it seem like I don’t exist.” He continued, only stopping when he heard an amused little “pfft” leave Seungyeon’s lips. He pinched his eyebrows together in confusion.

“That was a much better apology than I was expecting.” She laughed, moving to stand in front of him with a hand on her hip. Jinho had momentarily forgotten how attractive she was. She looked just as good in a hoodie and jeans as she did in her party attire and he suddenly regretted the kiss even more.

“It was a pretty good apology.” Yeeun agreed. Seungyeon looked back and nodded.

“Hongseok’s a good guy. It’s a shame he fell for you. You know, being straight and all. I’d say you aren’t so bad yourself, besides that fact.” Seungyeon sighed. She crossed her arms and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I guess I can’t really be petty after that apology, but you still have to uphold your part of the deal.” 

Jinho drew his mouth into a line as he watched her remove her rings and hand them to Yeeun. For a second he thought he’d talked his way out of getting hit.

“I’m still going to hit just as hard as I was planning to, but I’ll buy you dinner from one of the food trucks afterwards. How’s that sound?” Seungyeon offered in a surprisingly chipper tone for someone currently winding up for a punch. Jinho hesitantly nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the blow. “Here goes!”

As soon has her fist made contact with the center of his face, the thought of her being able to possibly kill him flashed through his mind before it became static. He blinked his eyes in an attempt to get them to refocus. His head was spinning and the punch had thrown him into a daze with stars populating the corners of his vision. He didn’t realize he was on the ground until Yeeun bent down in front of him. 

“My god, Seungyeon. You gave him a nosebleed.”

Jinho squinted his eyes at the blurry shape he guessed was Seungyeon squatting down beside Yeeun. His ears were ringing and their voices sounded muffled.

“Oh damn, I did. I didn’t mean to punch that hard.”

His vision faded in and out for what felt like seconds, but when the stars started to clear, he was sitting beside a food truck with someone holding a wad of napkins up to his nose.

“Hey there, Jinho.... you okay buddy?” He slowly turned his head to see Yeeun giving him an awkward smile. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to get them to finish focusing. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose with a groan and took the napkins from Yeeun. “I uh... I went ahead and sent you the email. If you have any questions about the notes, just email them to me.”

He nodded, mind still in a fuzzy haze. He noticed the trash bin beside them full of buddy napkins. How much blood had he lost?

“I hope you like tteokbokki, because that’s all this place sells.” Seungyeon said as she walked up with two takeout bowls and a drink. “Also I couldn’t carry multiple drinks, so we’re gonna have to share. But I got three straws so it’s fine.” She sat down at the table across from the two and pulled the lids off the containers, scooting one towards Jinho and sitting the other between her and yeeun to share. 

“I don’t really feel like eating right now.” He said behind a handful of napkins.

“We should probably wait for his nosebleed to stop.” Yeeun suggested.

“Yeah... that’s probably a good idea.” She placed the lids back on the bowls to keep the food warm. “Sorry for punching you so hard I gave you a nosebleed.”

Jinho waved off the apology. “It’s fine, I probably deserved it. I acted like piece of shit to you and Hongseok. I had it coming, if not from you then probably Yan An.” 

“Yan An _is_ pretty protective, I could see him punching you.” Yeeun smacked Seungyeon on the arm for her remark.

“You were a jerk, but I don’t think you deserved this much.” Yeeun insisted, handing him a stack of clean napkins. He bowed his head in thanks and accepted the offer.

“I’ve made Hongseok cry so many times, I probably deserve a black eye and a few broken ribs.” Jinho laughed bitterly. 

“...What do you mean?” 

Jinho bit his lip.

“I mean... I told him I didn’t feel the same since I don’t like men, for one. Then I was selfish and asked to stay friends whether it hurt him or not, because he made my depression bearable. And I made him upset when I offered to beat up anyone who threatened him. He gets mad when I worry about him.” Seungyeon shot a skeptical look her friend’s way.

“Okay so maybe you do deserve a black eye, but we’ll let Yan An do that.” Yeeun said flatly.

“Wow, thanks. Way to make a guy feel better.” Jinho rolled his eyes.

“It didn’t sound like you were asking for pity.” She shrugged, taking a sip from one of the three straws and staining it red with her lipstick.

When Jinho met Seungyeon’s eyes, he felt a shudder roll down his spine.

“I forgive you for what you did at the party, but I can’t promise I will if you hurt Hongseok.” She told him, seriousness hardening her soft features. “He’s our friend as he’s been hurt enough as is. You better treat him well and be sure not to cross any boundaries he gives you.”

Jinho nodded, understanding the threat in her words.

“We can be friends too, but we won’t know each other any more if you wrong him.” She continued. Yeeun silently agreed beside him. 

“I understand. And I don’t want to hurt him.” He answered. 

“Also, I’m pretty sure you’re going to have two black eyes in the morning because you’ve already got some purple circles forming, but now I don’t feel too bad to tell you.”

Jinho let out another groan.

 

______________

 

Wednesday rolled around and Hongseok did his best to avoid everyone’s gaze. The busted lip and bruises didn’t help him stay very inconspicuous. A kid pointed at him to his mother on the street corner while they waited for the crosswalk. His fellow students watched him like an animal in a cage through their nutrition lecture. The girl working the register at the grocery stared at him the entire time she was ringing up his four items. Every parent that dropped their kids off at the daycare gave him a funny look. 

So much for making a good impression on the first day.

“Hey, Hongseok, can you come here for a second?” Yujin, the lead currently working the afternoon shift asked. She was younger than him, but she’d worked here for years. She’s roommates with Seungyeon, double majoring in early childhood education and business. He followed her out of the main classroom and into the hall. She looked concerned.

“Hongseok, is everything alright? I didn’t expect you to start your first day by coming in looking like this.What am I supposed to tell the parents when they leave their kids with someone who looks like they got into a fight behind a bar?” She crossed her arms. Hongseok let his gaze fall to the floor.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to come in like this.” Was all he could manage in reply.

“Then what happened? Why are you so beat up?” She asked.

“I...” He took a deep breath and ran a hand over a bruise on his neck. “I got assaulted yesterday and didn’t know what was worse, coming in like this or calling in sick on my first day.” She frowned and looked up at him with pity.

“I’ll call in someone else. You can go home for the day. I won’t count it against you.” Yujin sighed. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze. “Go get some rest. You can start next week instead. I don’t want the parents thinking we hire thugs. Just try to stay safe, okay?” Hongseok nodded and bowed to her before heading back to the staff locker room. 

He hung his apron up on his designated hook on the wall. He stared at the brightly colored name tag pinned to the top with his name scrawled across it in sparkly green gel pen. If he looked at the bright side, he had a caring understanding lead who just gave him an extra week to rest. If he didn’t, well, he just got sent home for looking like trash so the daycare wouldn’t get a bad reputation. 

Hongseok pulled his windbreaker and back pack out of his locker. Before heading out the back door, he dug his keys out of his bag and checked his phone. It was only about twenty minutes after five in the afternoon, Yan An would still be home. He’d rather come home to an empty apartment. 

He didn’t even make an effort to stop his fingers from typing out “can I come to your place for a while?” and hitting send. He just stared at Jinho’s name on his phone screen as he slumped into the from seat of his car, dropping his bag into the passenger seat beside him.

The buzz of his phone nearly made him jump.

From Jinho:  
Only if you bring coffee, I have a lot to do tonight

He let out the breath he was holding after the buzz and typed out a reply.

From Hongseok:  
The usual?

From Jinho:  
Yeah.

With a rumble, he started up the car and put his phone in the cup holder. The coffee shop wasn’t far, but Hongseok wasn’t in a rush. Any way to prolong going home was all he needed. He pulled out of the lot with ease and made his way down the street. 

Nearly thirty minutes later, he knocked on the door to Jinho’s apartment.

He could hear Jinho’s yell of “Come in if you brought coffee” muffled through the front door. Taking that as his queue, Hongseok slipped inside and took in a deep breath. There was just something about Jinho’s apartment that put him at ease. It always smelled like the cheap rain scented candles Jinho loved so much. It was nice, and comfortable. 

Hongseok grinned wide as he saw Jinho’s head poke out from behind the doorframe down the hall.

“Oh my god, you actually brought it.” Jinho breathed, hurriedly scrambling down the hall in shock and excitement. Hongseok raised the cardboard cup carrier over Jinho’s head and cocked his head to the side as he took in Jinho’s current state. He was dressed in his standard “I never actually went to bed last night” attire of an oversized T-shirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama pants. His eyes were rimmed with black purple circles that made Hongseok wince in sympathy when he looked at them for too long.

“Of course I brought it, why wouldn’t I?” He tried not to laugh as Jinho reached up with cute little grabby hands. “But before I give it to you, why the _heck_ do you have two black eyes?” Jinho lowered his hands and squinted at the taller man in frustration.

“Tell me why do you look more beat up than last time you came over and I’ll answer.” He huffed.

“Oop, wrong answer guess I’ll just take this coffee and go bye.” Hongseok said as he turned on his heel and made his way back to the front door.

“Hang on! Hang on!” Jinho ran after him, desperately tugging him back by the arm. He laughed awkwardly as Hongseok turned his head to him and raised an eyebrow. “I let Seungyeon punch me to make up for being a jerk to her at the party and so I could get Yeeun’s art history notes.”

“Well, that sounds like a wild ride. She got you good.” Hongseok said, bending down to get a better look at the equally as painful looking bruise on the bridge of his nose. Jinho flinched backwards. Hongseok jerked away, suddenly realizing he was too close for comfort. “Well, you uh, answered my question. Here’s your coffee and I bought you a couple donuts too. Y’know. Just in case.” Hongseok held the cup holder to him and nodded his head towards the bag in the hand Jinho was tightly holding hostage.

“Thanks.” Jinho quietly took his cup and the small paper bag.

“Did.. did you know that her and Yeeun are dating now?” Hongseok asked, picking at a torn edge of the cardboard. Maybe changing the subject would be smart right now.

Jinho looked up in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah, Yeeun uh, was really mad about what you did to Seungyeon. But Seungyeon didn’t understand why she was so furious, so she confessed.” He explained. Jinho blinked at him in astonishment. “Ironically, you made Seungyeon realize she actually doesn’t really like guys.”

Jinho took a seat at the counter. He felt like he just got punched again. After carefully setting his food down, he let his head fall into his hands. He didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry. Hongseok chewed his lip, suddenly realizing that was probably the worst topic he could have changed the conversation to.

“Sorry if that was sort of a sore topic.” He told him, hesitantly patting him on the back.

“I can’t believe I helped someone realize they were gay by royally fucking everything up.” He groaned, then paused. He lifted his head with a serious look on his face. “Is that why she forgave me so easily?”

“Maybe?” Hongseok offered, unsure of what the actual situation was since he was out of the loop.

“Wait. Shouldn’t you be at the day care right now?” 

It was Hongseok’s turn for his face to fall. 

“Oh, did it not go well?” Jinho grimaced, suddenly feeling the regret Hongseok felt towards him seconds ago.

“No, it went okay. I just I got sent home early so parents wouldn’t think a thug was taking care of their kids.” Hongseok corrected. 

“Ah.” Then silence again.

More silence.

 

It was getting weird.

 

But still, neither one made an effort to speak.

 

“So. Uh. What were you working on?” Hongseok asked, voice cracking in the middle. He shut his mouth tight at the mistake. Jinho didn’t seem to notice.

“Composition. I still have three songs to finish for my collection of work to submit to graduate.” Jinho answered.

“Haven’t you been working in the with Hui since I met you?” He leaned against the counter, his back suddenly aching from being so tense for too long.

“Yeah, But we haven’t completed one song yet. We’re still finishing up. And I’m not counting that as one of the three I have left.” Jinho ran a hand through his unstyled, unkept hair. 

“Oh, yikes.”

“Yeah, yikes.”

“Could... I help?”

Jinho turned around to look at Hongseok in bewilderment.

“I mean I’ll take any help I can get, but what can you do? You’re a med student, not a music student.” He stated bluntly.

“Well, for one, I took singing lessons back in high school. Second, I speak three languages, so I could sing foreign songs. Third, I actually take offense to that you jerk.” Hongseok pouted his lips and narrowed his eyes at the smaller man.

“You sing?” Jinho asked, wide eyed.

“Not... really in front of people anymore, but yeah. Me and my roommates joked about dressing up as a barbershop trio for Halloween. We all took voice lessons.” Hongseok replied.

“You uh, wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your voice sometime, then?” Jinho gave him a hopeful look resembling that of a college student who was seeing food for the first time in days, or how he’d looked at the coffee earlier.

“Why would I offer in the first place if I didn’t want to?”

“I’m saved. My throat is still sore from the high notes Hui gave me in our collaboration assignment.”

“Oh? You sing?” Hongseok raised his eyebrows.

“...well. Yes. I was in theater and choir all through high school, I’d hope I can sing.” Jinho deadpanned.

“Oh my god.” Hongseok cackled.

“What?”

“You? Were a theater kid?” Hongseok hid his ugly laughing behind his hand. “Unbelievable!”

“Not all of us can afford voice lessons outside of a school setting.” Hongseok quickly clamped his mouth shut.

“Did you get the lead in any plays?”

“Did I get the lead? Ha! I was always the lead as long as the costumes fit.”

Hongseok had to stifle his laughter at the thought of Jinho in oversized musical costumes on stage.

“I can see you struggling, don’t laugh at me I’m trying to brag for once in my life.” Jinho jabbed a finger at him, but the laughter was contagious.

“I’m friends with so many former theater kids, but I never expected you to be one. I mean, they’re all ga-“ Hongseok stopped himself and quickly glanced up at Jinho.

“Everyone in theater was absolutely not straight except for me and a few of the girls, you’re good.” 

Hongseok sighed in relief.

“I only know since I dated all those girls at least once.” Jinho said out loud, seemingly to himself. 

Hongseok couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the theater girls.

“But none of those worked out. As you can see.” Jinho added, gesturing to himself, a slight loneliness to his words.

 

“It was probably for the best, I’m sure they were a bit... _over dramatic_.”

“Oh my god, get out of my apartment and take your lame jokes with you.”

 

______________

 

“Hey Hongseok, you okay there?” Changgu asked from the passenger side. Hongseok snapped his eyes away from his phone to meet the younger’s gaze.

“Yeah, I’m just...” He trailed off and looked back down at his phone. Changgu leaned closer to peek at what he was staring so intently at.

“So you did get Sanghyuk’s number!” He clapped, much like a cute little seal.

“Hongseokkie’s got a date!” Yan An teased from the backseat.

“N-not until Wednesday!” He exclaimed, pink dusting his cheeks as he twisted in the driver’s seat to glare at Yan An.

“But still!” Changgu prodded him in the side with his finger. The eldest yelped and whipped back around to glare at him too. “It’s progress. And he’s really into you. Seokwoo was telling me how many times Sanghyuk’s roommate has complained to him about how he never shuts up about you when you two went and ordered more snacks.” Hongseok sighed and locked his phone before slipping it into his pocket.

“Well. I did it. No going back now, huh?” He shot a cautious smile at his friend and started up the car.

“Oh, before you drive us all home, Yan An has some good news!” Changgu chirped, grabbing onto Hongseok’s arm. He turned back around to look at the blond, who looked surprised. His mouth formed a little “o” as he realized what news he was supposed to share.

“First, Don’t get mad, because this was the best thing to do.” He started, raising his hands in defense before clasping them together to finish. “When I got accepted to this school, my dad found the best lawyer in Seoul to take up for me in case I was treated unfairly for being from another country. I called him last week after Changgu told me what happened with the upperclassman since you didn’t share that with us the _first_ time it happened.”

Hongseok felt himself grow tense.

“I asked him if there was anything that could be done that wouldn’t harm you. He told me there was no guarantee that any indirect harm would come to you, but he promised to do his best. I got a call from him a few hours before we came here to bowl with everyone.” Hongseok flicked his eyes to Changgu, catching a glimpse of his excited grin, then back to Yan An.

“With what we’ve done so far and the evidence we have, we can sue them for emotional distress, defamation, assault, and battery.”

“With what evidence?” Hongseok asked quietly.

“We have screenshots of the posts, the comments, the reports we made, the paperwork and responses from the dean on the matter, as well as your testimony and photographic evidence of your injuries.”

“Photographic evidence? But I never-“

“I instructed Changgu to take pictures when you were asleep and when he was treating you. I’m sorry for not telling you, but I was concerned and couldn’t let this slide.” Yan An sighed. Hongseok blinked at him in shock.

“This could keep them away from you. We could file for a restraining order and if they find the evidence compelling enough, who knows? They might get arrested.” Changgu pointed out, doing his best to think on the bright side.

“Wooyoung already thinks I ruined his life. Doing that only gives him more reason to be angry.” Hongseok reasoned, suddenly overwhelmed.

“He might be mad, but if the law is at least on our side, he can’t touch you and get away with it again.” Yan An countered. Hongseok turned back around to face the wheel. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled.

“Hongseok?” Changgu extended a hand towards his friends shoulder, but the older flinched away.

“I don’t... I don’t want to drive.” He breathed and unbuckled his seat belt.

“Oh? Okay. Um, Yan An, could you drive us home then? Do you want to sit in the back or on the pa-“

“The back.” Hongseok answered instantly, and pushed open the car door.

“Do you want me to sit back there with you?” Changgu asked him after he had traded seats with Yan An and was fumbling with the seat belt buckle. Hongseok bit his lip and nodded his head as he continued to struggle. Changgu nodded and climbed out of the car and into the backseat beside him. He helped him fasten the buckle before clicking his own together.

“If...” Hongseok started quietly. “If we can get the cctv footage from the gym before and after they...” he took a deep breath and felt Changgu’s hand slip into his and hold on tight. “They wouldn’t be able to deny it was them. It’s proof with a time stamp.”

“I think Yan An could get a hold of that pretty easily. And we can be your witnesses.” Changgu reassured him.

“And Soyeon. She was working both days it happened. She saw me come in with them each time. She checked us in. And she always saw me leave alone hours after they left.” His voice trembled from a mix of fear and anticipation.

“And Jinho. He’s seen you after you were beaten up too.” Yan An added as he slowly pulled out of the bowling alley parking lot.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “He did, But I didn’t... tell you that, did I?”

“Yujin told me she sent you home early the other day because of how bad you looked. It wasn’t hard to guess you went to Jinho’s instead of coming home. You only came back when your shift was originally supposed to end.” Changgu replied. 

“Right. Sorry.”

“Just let us know next time, Okay?” He ran a thumb over Hongseok’s knuckles in attempt to calm him.

“Okay.” He promised in return. 

“We’ll be driving past the twenty-four-hour cookie place. We could stop if you think it’ll help you calm down and take all this in?” Yan An proposed as they were stopped at a stop light. 

“I can’t say no to that and you know it.” Hongseok told him, his answer sounding much more lighthearted.

“I thought so.”

 

______________

 

Time was going way too fast for Jinho’s liking.

Sure, he finished another song in just under a week, but the stress levels were still incredibly high and he was absolutely stuck on lyrics for the next. He’d already had both Shinwon and Hui help him, he’d already used up all of his “phone a friend” passes. 

Maybe getting out of the house would be good? What day was it? Monday? Already? Right, he’d accidentally slept through his morning class today. Fortunately, Yeeun was an angel and sent him her notes. There was hope he wouldn’t fail the exam on Thursday after all. On another note, his classmates had all avoided him like the plague last week thanks to the nasty black eyes he had. They were finally starting to go away, though. Now they just looked like intense dark circles from not sleeping for a week, which wasn’t too far from the truth.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he threw on a pair of clean clothes and tried to make himself look decent enough to be seen in public. Just a walk down to the convenience store to get dinner should be enough. If he was feeling adventurous, he’d stop and eat whatever he bought at the little fountain on the corner. Being out in some man made nature for a little while wouldn’t kill him.

No one gawked at him as he made his way down the street, that was an improvement. The cashier didn’t ask any questions when he paid for his small box of sandwiches, bag of chips and a Redbull. The kids on the playground didn’t stop and point at him when he took a seat at one of the little tables that were used as checkerboards at some point before all the game pieces had been lost. He could enjoy his dinner in the peace of the afternoon light with casual background noise of college town life. Or _almost_ college town life. He always forgot the college was next to a pretty wealthy residential area until he saw a parent and their little demons running around. Given, not all kids were demons to Jinho, but during such a stressful time in his life, their brutal honesty was uncalled for.

Before he could take bite out of his sandwich, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. For the moment, he was hungry and couldn’t be bothered even as it vibrated so more times. He didn’t dig it out of his front pocket until he’d finished the first sandwich.

 

From Hongseok:  
I completely forgot to ask yesterday

From Hongseok:  
Changgu’s birthday is tomorrow, would you want to help us set up his surprise party?

From Hongseok:  
Hyunggu is welcome to come too!

 

With his mouth still full of bread, he typed up a reply.

 

From Jinho:  
Won’t it make him cry?

 

Hongseok replied surprisingly fast.

 

From Hongseok:  
He’s going to cry no matter what we do, you know he’s soft

 

Jinho could practically hear the fond yet teasing tone of his voice from that reply.

 

From Jinho:  
Ur right. I’m in. 

From Jinho:  
What time?

From Hongseok:  
Is 5 ok? Unless you want to go get the food and cake with me before then at 4

From Jinho:  
I can do 4, my only class of the day ends at 12 and Hyunggu doesn’t have a class on tuesdays, just club meetings he would easily miss for Changgu 

From Hongseok:  
Nice, want me to pick you two up? 

From Jinho:  
Better than riding the bus

From Hongseok:  
K! See you tomorrow @ 4!

 

Jinho smiled. A party with friends would probably do him some good too.

 

Even just the preparation lifted his spirits and relieved his stress. Hyunggu had happily tagged along for every part of the ride. His company made everything a bit more fun and kept any possible awkward situations between Jinho and Hongseok from happening. They wouldn’t have almost gotten thrown out of the market for sword fighting with carrots at long as Jinho’s forearm without him. Fortunately they were still allowed to buy the snacks they’d already thrown in the cart before being escorted out by a highly amused, slightly disgruntled manager. Thankfully, they weren’t banned for life, apparently they’d made the guy’s day.

Hyunggu’s cute face also scored them a dozen free donuts at the bakery Hongseok had ordered the cake from. He had a face that old women just couldn’t resist. The kid didn’t make it out without a good number of cheek punches and compliments that had him flustered. 

“So who else is coming to the party?” Hyunggu asked when they all piled back into the car, carefully holding the cake in his lap once he was buckled into the back seat. 

“Some of our friends, I don’t think you’ve met any of them, but Jinho has.” He shot Jinho a smile before carefully backing out of the parking space.

“Oh? Which ones?” Jinho asked, fighting off the urge to eat the free donuts he’d been given to protect with his life.

“Seokwoo, Jaeyoon, Inseong, Seungyeon, since she forgave you for what happened, Yeeun, Seunghee, and Sanghyuk.” He replied. Hyunggu raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“What did you do-“ He started to ask but Jinho quickly cut him off.

“Wait, who’s Sanghyuk?” 

Hongseok let a little “ah” escape his lips as his eyes stayed trained on the road. “He wasn’t at the party, I forgot. He’s one of the guys’ friends. Jaeyoon was his RA his first year and he just sorta fell into the friend group.”

Jinho replied with his own soft “ah” and nodded his head. Hyunggu cleared his throat from the backseat.

“Did you say something, Hyunggu?” Hongseok flashed him a glance through the rear view mirror, catching the pout he had on his face.

“Like I was asking, what did Jinho do for the girl to have to forgive him?” He asked, with a bit of frustration directed at the back of the eldest’s head.

“He, uh, kissed someone else at the party after they’d been drunkenly clinging to each other the whole time and she didn’t really like that.” Hongseok quickly and vaguely explained before either of them could get flustered.

“Oh. Who’d he kiss?”

“I was drunk out of my mind and don’t remember.” 

“Okay...” Hyunggu seemed suspicious of the short answers, but didn’t ask any more questions on the matter.

After a few minutes of silence, Jinho spoke up. “So would anyone notice if I ate one of these or...?” He wasn’t as strong willed in the face of donuts as he thought he was.

“Not if they never make it home.” Hongseok slipped him a side glance and a devious smirk. 

“I like where this is going.” Hyunggu giggled.

 

______________

 

“Well _fuck_ , guys.” Jinho gaped from the doorway.

He stood there staring at the two shocked men currently in a pile on the floor, Hongseok and Hyunggu standing just behind him. Changgu had snapped his head up and away from Yanan as soon as he’d heard Jinho. He was currently straddling Yanan’s waist, tears streaming down his cheeks, as the blond lay splayed out on the floor beneath him looking beyond flustered, a big bouquet of soft pink flowers haphazardly tossed on the ground beside them.

“What are you doing home so early?” Hongseok asked, squeezing past Jinho to put the groceries in the kitchen.

“His last class of the day got cancelled, so here he is. Early to his own party.” Yan An answered, voice a bit strained. The other two filed in after Hongseok and Jinho closed the door behind Hyunggu as the youngest carefully carried in the cake.

“And I’m guessing he’s crying because he knows about the surprise?” Hongseok raised an amused eyebrow. 

“No, he just cried because he found that soft blanket and some flowers I got him before he was supposed to.”

“You... you guys were going to surprise me?” The current topic of discussion hiccuped, wiping at his face.

“Well, we were, but you being home already ruins that.” Jinho told him.

“I don’t deserve any of you!” He cried out before falling into another fit of sobs.

“God, he’s so soft hearted.” Hongseok muttered with a smile as he finished putting the cold items in the fridge. “Everyone will be over around 6, so try to act surprised okay? And you’re not allowed to open the fridge unless we say so. We should at least keep what the cake looks like as a surprise.” Changgu nodded, still crying. Yan An raised his hands to wipe away what tears he could from his boyfriend’s face, but Changgu flopped back down on top of him and buried his face in his chest. The blond sighed and wrapped his arms around him, knowing all too well that he wouldn’t be allowed to move until Changgu was done.

“He cried before we even arrived to set up for the party. Is that a new record?” Jinho laughed as he helped Hyunggu put the cake in the fridge. 

“Actually, it might be.” Hongseok chuckled as he wiped down the counter before getting to work on preparing the snacks. 

“I’m glad you don’t cry as easily as him.” Jinho told Hyunggu. The boy smiled at him and bounced over to help Hongseok. There wasn’t enough room for Jinho to join in, so he just sorta stood in the corner and watched. It felt awkward, but it had been a while since he’d seen Hongseok in a kitchen, and that was something that felt comfortable. Being with their friends was comfortable. 

Suddenly, his cheeks felt warm. Jinho lifted a hand to his face, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. Maybe he was getting sick from not sleeping well. Yeah, that must be it.

 

______________

 

By now everyone had arrived and they were all piled in the living room, giddy chatter filling the room. Yan An and Changgu were cuddled up on the small loveseat, Seokwoo was lounging in one of the chairs at the small table, Inseong was sprawled across the floor in front of the television with his head in Jaeyoon’s lap, Sanghyuk, Hongseok, and Jinho were lined up on the couch in that order, and Hyunggu was sitting cross legged on the floor just in front of Jinho. The room was full but not crowded.

The other guest had all arrived with arms full of presents, food, and most importantly according to Inseong, _drinks_. The computer sciences major arrived with a rolling cooler in tow, filled with soju, a six pack of beer, and a couple of those fancy flavored vodkas. Fortunately, everyone agreed it was best to take it easy on the alcohol tonight. A one cup limit was set for anyone who chose the vodka, and one can or bottle for those that went with beer or soju. After some coaxing from the older guys, Hongseok opened a can of beer, hesitant to even touch alcohol again after his last time drinking.

“Just one won’t hurt you, Hongseok. Don’t worry.” Jaeyoon reassured him.

“If you’re worried about drinking too much, we’ll keep an eye on you.” Changgu offered from Yan An’s lap. The boy had finally settled down and stopped bawling his eyes out about ten minutes after everyone had arrived. 

“I’m sure none of us want you to relive that.” Yan An muttered, slightly suffocating under Changgu’s loving hold around his neck. It was supposed to be a hug at some point, but Changgu’s arms tend to squeeze a little too tight when he isn’t paying attention. Jinho raised and eyebrow and looked around the room, obviously feeling like he’d missed something.

“Did something else happen... last time?” Jinho asked, Hyunggu looking just as puzzled in front of him. Changgu stared at him in surprise. 

“Did Hongseok not tell you? He got alcohol poisoning.” Inseong cut in, swirling the little bit of vodka left around in his cup, not even looking up at Jinho.

He whipped his head around to Hongseok. “No, he never told me.” The younger looked uncomfortable under his burning gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Hyunggu tugged on Jinho’s pants leg, but the older pushed his hand away.

“I didn’t want you to worry about me. It happened, and I learned from it. I’d rather not talk about it.” Hongseok said, taking a sip from the can in an effort to end the conversation where it started. Jinho scrunched up his face in frustration but let it go. He wouldn’t pressure Hongseok and make him upset in the middle of Changgu’s birthday party. That wouldn’t be right. So he sucked in a deep breath and tried not to make his sulking too obvious.

“How about we change the subject, then?” Seokwoo suggested, then turned to face the youngest party goer. “Hyunggu, right? This is the first time a lot of us have met you. Why don’t you share a little bit about yourself?” The boy happily nodded and complied with his request. He told them the usual, name, age, major, interests, favorite color. 

“Oh, are you classmates with Taeyong?” Sanghyuk chipped in, leaning forward to see past Hongseok. “He’s a dance major too.”

“Yes! He’s so incredible! Do you two know each other?” Hyunggu answered with plenty of enthusiasm.

“I was the one who gave him a tour of this school before he applied! We’ve been friends since. We’re really close.” Sanghyuk grinned. Jinho rolled his eyes. 

Something about him seemed too exaggerated, too forceful. Jinho didn’t like it. His jokes were off putting. He’d force a laugh for the sake of everyone else in the room, but as the night went on, it sounded less and less believable. And the way Sanghyuk was being so touchy with Hongseok didn’t pass by Jinho unnoticed. When he tried to study Hongseok’s expression, he never looked uncomfortable, if anything, he thought he saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Who wants cake!?” Seokwoo called out as he brought it in, a few heart shaped candles were stuck in a circle in the center already flickering with little flames at their tips. Strawberries lined the outside of the cake and perfect icing dollops rimmed the edges. It was an absolutely adorable and tasty looking cake. But it still didn’t steal Jinho’s attention away from the hand that slowly slid onto Hongseok’s thigh as everyone broke into singing happy birthday.

Changgu was already sniffling from Yan An’s lap, hands covering his mouth and his eyes filled with love as he looked around the room. Yan An placed a big kiss on his cheek before joining in the song, slowly swaying his boyfriend back and forth in his arms. 

“Happy birthday dear Changguuuuuuuuuuuu! Happy birthday to youuuuuuu!” Everyone nearly screamed. They were all grinning from ear to ear as Changgu made a wish and blew out his candles.

“What’d you wish for?” Jaeyoon asked, moving to cut the cake for everyone. 

“I was greedy and wished for two things.” Changgu answered with a smile, voice a bit shaky since he was getting emotional again.

“And what were those?” Hyunggu joined in.

“Well, one was to stay friends with you all for a really long time.” He said, wiping his eyes. 

“And the other?” Sanghyuk pressed.

“It’s a secret.” He grinned slyly. They all bust out into laughter at Changgu’s devious smile.

“I bet he wished for birthday sex.” Inseong cackled. Jaeyoon slapped him on the shoulder, unable to contain his own laughter. Changgu’s face went beet red. Yan An pursed his lips and made an innocent face.

“It wasn’t that!” Changgu cried, hands on his cheeks in an attempt to hide his obvious flush. He looked up at Hongseok. “I just wished for everything to work out and life to get better for Hongseok soon and was afraid if I said it out loud, it wouldn’t come true!” 

Hongseok’s laughter died as he stared at his roommate, registering what he’d said. The rest slowly grew quiet as they noticed the look on Hongseok’s face.

“You... You wished for that?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. Changgu nodded, his gaze firm.

“Of course. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to see you suffer any longer, Hongseokkie.” 

Jinho suddenly felt like he should leave. He was the reason Hongseok was suffering, wasn’t he? 

But it was Hongseok that stood up. He cast a glance at Jinho out of the corner of his eye and quickly snapped it away. He muttered a quick “sorry” and quickly picked his way through the living room and back towards his room.

“Hongseok..?” Yan An extended a hand to stop him as he passed, but let him go.

“I shouldn’t have said anything...” Changgu said, holding a hand up to his mouth as he stared down the hall.

“He’s just having a hard time, it’s not you, Changgu.” Jaeyoon assured him with a gentle pat on his thigh. The younger shot him a thankful smile, but his face was still covered in concern.

Jinho patted Hyunggu to signal him to scoot over. Hyunggu did so but looked up at him in confusion.

“I’m gonna go.” He told Jinho quietly, nodding towards the door.

“Jinho? Are you leaving?” Yan An asked, his eyes narrowed. Jinho felt holes burning into his skin where everyone’s eyes were on him after Yan An spoke up.

“I...” He looked around at the various faces. “I just feel like I’m the sole reason he’s like this so I should probably just... go.” His voice nearly cracked.

“Jinho...” was all Changgu could say. He didn’t say he was wrong. No one disagreed with what he’d said. Jinho took that as his queue to leave.

“Hyunggu, you can stay if you want, I’ll meet you at home.” Jinho patted his roommate’s head.

“But Jinho, I drove us both here.” Hyunggu said, confused and worried.

“It’s fine I’ll just take the bus.” He started towards the door. “Thank you guys for having me, have a nice night.” He said with a half smile and a wave before slipping into his shoes as through the door. Everyone watched him leave in silence.

“I’ll go check on him.” Seokwoo said, breaking the silence. He squeezed past everyone and disappeared down the hall. Hyunggu looked around, hoping for answers.

“Why... why has Hongseokkie been suffering? I know him and Jinho weren’t doing well after the party, but... is that not the only thing?” He asked the room, asking anyone in hopes of a reply.

Changgu sighed and gave Hyunggu a sympathetic look. “I’ll tell you.”

 

______________

 

“Sanghyuk! I didn’t think you’d be here already!” Hongseok exclaimed, car keys dangling in his hand, the other still on the doorknob. Sanghyuk grinned at him in reply. He’d promised to meet him behind the daycare after his shift for their date, and he’d arrived perfectly on time.

“Surprise! The bus came early.” Hongseok gave him a quick hug and guided him to his car. 

“Hey, by the way, sorry about last night.” Hongseok said, shyly as he fastened his seat belt. Sanghyuk looked up from buckling his and just smiled.

“It’s fine. You’re going through a lot right now. I’m not upset or anything.” He told him.

“Ah, that’s good. Thank you.” He exhaled, relieved. “So where are we heading to? All you told me over the phone was that it was a surprise.”

“It’s still a surprise.” He beamed. Hongseok just laughed at him.

“Okay don’t tell me, but can you at least tell me how to get there?”

“Pull out of the parking lot and turn left.” Hongseok rolled his eyes, but followed his instructions. 

 

The younger’s directions led them to an arcade, brightly lit on the outside with old neon signs. Hongseok felt the corners of his lips quirk up in amusement as he pulled into the parking lot. Of course he’d bring him here. 

“So? Do you like the surprise?” Sanghyuk asked, fidgeting in the passenger seat with anticipation. Hongseok laughed, quickly stopping himself when he saw the other’s face fall.

“I haven’t been to an arcade in years, I didn’t even know there were any around here.” He explained. “I love it, I’m just happily surprised.”

Sanghyuk grinned wide and undid his seat belt, practically flinging himself out of the car. Hongseok shook his head and followed him inside. It was empty save for a few high school students and the workers. Besides the noises coming from all of the game machines, the arcade was calm and quiet.

“First round of coins are on me.” Sanghyuk said, patting Hongseok’s shoulder before making his way to the counter to ask the man at the counter for coins. The poor buy looked like he was about to doze off. Hongseok saw his eyes light up when he noticed Sanghyuk and he happily ruffled his curly mess of hair. He figured Sanghyuk must be a regular here. The boy pointed a thumb back and him and he gave a shy wave to the employee when he looked his way. The worker gave Sanghyuk a tall stack of coins and what looked like his approval in the form of a wink, a thumbs up, and a big goofy grin. Hongseok snorted, catching the pair’s attention. He just waved his hands in front of him in apology. Sanghyuk bounced back over to Hongseok, the coins now safely stored in a small velvet bag with the arcade’s logo printed on the front. 

“I take it you two know each other?” Hongseok chuckled, noticing the way his hair bounced as he walked.

“Oh, you mean Jaehyun? Yeah we go way back. We went to the same high school. He’s an awesome drummer. And he tells the best jokes, too.” Sanghyuk answered, already tugging Hongseok back towards the games. “What do you want to play first?”

“What do you suggest?”

With Sanghyuk’s connection, Jaehyun’s employee discount he continued to discretely share with them, and Hongseok’s willingness to play anything Sanghyuk suggested, no game was safe. Hongseok discovered he was in fact, still skilled at playing Streetfighter, and didn’t completely suck at ski-ball like used to. Sanghyuk however, clearly had more practice and beat him at almost everything. They got a little crazy during their heated match of air hockey and might have accidentally sent the puck flying and had to dig it out from behind the racing games.

“You don’t even have your license! How are you beating me!” Hongseok cried out as Sanghyuk passed the starting line and entered lap three while they were playing one of those very racing games.

“I don’t need a license to be good at video games!” He howled, before gracefully crashing into a wall. Hongseok cackled maniacally as he passed him and took back his first place title. He later claimed Hongseok only won because he’d gotten distracted.

“Distracted? What a lame excuse.” Hongseok scoffed, collecting his tickets.

“Hey, it’s a valid excuse when playing against someone as good looking as you.” Sanghyuk pouted. Hongseok felt his cheeks heat up. “You’re too distracting.”

“Am I?” Hongseok asked, elbowing Sanghyuk playfully.

“Distracting? Absolutely.”

“No the thing before that.” He rolled his eyes.

“What? Good looking? That’s just common knowledge. You’re freaking hot.” Sanghyuk said, no hint of banter to his voice. Hongseok punched him in the arm, face suddenly red. 

Sanghyuk pulled him over to the next machine, a shooting game, while he was too flustered to refuse. He pushed a couple coins into the slot and handed Hongseok the bright neon green gun. He did his best to compose himself enough to make it through the character select screen, choosing the girl that suspiciously resembled Laura Croft just for kicks.

They were both surprised by how good at this game Hongseok turned out to be. He took down almost every mutant beast in the nuclear power plant map before Sanghyuk could even aim. They grinned at each other as they quickly moved on to the next level. The serpent bat hybrids never had a chance against this dynamic duo. 

As they blazed through level after level, they gained a small audience of a couple high school girls and the moody looking man who was supposed to be working the snack bar. The girls squealed as the two took on an army of infected workers in hazmat suits, their skin radiating an eerie blue light and their faces half melted off. 

“I’ve never gotten this far in the game!” Sanghyuk exclaimed excitedly as they reached the final level.

“Really? I thought you were a gaming master?” Hongseok laughed, getting himself ready to take aim.

“I’ve never played with anyone as good at this as you. They’d always die before we made it halfway through.” He explained, gun hovering over the “enter next level” button on the screen.

“Well then you should consider this an honor.” Hongseok teased. He saw the moody employee roll his eyes in the reflection on the black screen just before the next level started. Sanghyuk punched him in the arm.

The metal doors opened to reveal a giant beast, oozing in radiation and sludge. His spider-like minions poured out of the vents in the wall, heading straight for the duo’s characters. In their unnecessarily dramatic way, the two yelled as they shot, rapid fire, at the oncoming wave of enemies. The two girls cheered as they downed the last one and advanced towards the final boss. Small glowing target symbols signaled the monster’s weak points, which the two mercilessly shot at. 

Sanghyuk missed a couple sludge balls from the monster, taking some serious damage. Hongseok did his best to cover for him as his character stood stunned for a few seconds. The beast fell onto his side, Hongseok delivering a fatal blow and blasting on of his wiggling tendril arms clean of his body. But it wasn’t over yet. With its two remaining arms, it lifted both the characters up, obscuring the weak point at his head, but providing a perfect shot to the one on his chest. Sanghyuk reloaded, throwing a grenade with the button on the side of the gun. It hit its mark and made the monster screech and release its grip.

Hongseok took aim at the last weak point as soon as the screen stabilized.  
It only took a matter of seconds between their combined shots to take it down. The health bar plummeted to zero and it let out a final dying cry before exploding, raining radioactive sludge all over the make shift arena. The big “DEFEATED” popped up onto the screen. They both watched the points increase until the first number was still spinning. When it finally came to a halt, the words “HIGH SCORE” flashed on screen. 

Everyone cheered. Hongseok raised his hands in victory. Then, Sanghyuk pulled him down by the collar and kissed him. Hongseok’s eyes went wide and the two girls gasped. When Sanghyuk pulled away, he looked just as shocked as everyone else. Hongseok saw the employee walk away with wide eyes out of the corner of his eye. The girls were both covering their mouths with their hands and staring at the two in shock.

“That was... so cute. Oh my god.” One of them said quietly.

Hongseok couldn’t deny the heat burning his cheeks and down his neck.

“I’m so sorry, I got too excited there.” Sanghyuk stuttered.

“No, no. It’s okay.” Hongseok assured him, keeping his voice down to save himself a little embarrassment in front of the two thirds of the audience they had left. “I... I liked it.” Sanghyuk’s eyes lit up and he gave him a big grin. Hongseok turned away and buried his face in his hands, dying inside. Sanghyuk entered their names into the high score board and collected the tickets that had finally stopped pouring out of the machine. He let out a squeak as Hongseok pulled him away by the wrist and into the karaoke booth. It was a bit crowded between the two and their mountain of tickets.

“If you want to try this one, we’ll have to go get more coins. I think we only ha-“

Hongseok cut him off by crashing his lips against Sanghyuk’s. He stiffened for a split second before happily reciprocating the kiss. The tickets fell to the floor as he wrapped his arms around Hongseok’s waist and pulled him closer. Suddenly, Hongseok was grateful this booth didn’t have see-through walls. And he found himself thinking accepting Sanghyuk’s advances wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Fun fact: I’ve technically written a novel length fanfic as of this update! I read somewhere that around 57,000 words is standard novel length)
> 
> I hope ending the chapter on a lighter note made up for how badly Jinho is currently struggling? 
> 
> Fortunately, it shouldn’t take me too long to write the next chapter since my motivation is back! But, as a warning, I’m seeing a band I love tomorrow and will probably only be able to talk and write about it and Victorian/Appalachian heartbreak and murder (the topic of many of their songs oh boy!), so guess who’s going to be brainstorming and finishing up plotting out my other ongoing fic right afterwards? ME. So I won’t promise another chapter by the end of the week, just know I’ll be jumping between this and Wicked Fascinations for a little while.
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you all are having a good summer so far!
> 
> Be back soon (probably scream singing “Everything is Awful” by the Decemberists)~


	9. Faster Than Intended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinho is figuring things out, slowly but surely. Hongseok’s not sure that he’s doing the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I noticed updating chapters isn’t treated the same way by AO3 as adding a new chapter... I’m guessing a lot of people thought I abandoned this even though I’d updated the chapter 8 preview to a full chapter....
> 
> Either way, here is chapter 9! Warning: it gets very dialogue heavy at the end!

From Jinho:  
Hey, you doing okay?

 

He shakily exhaled, forehead resting in his hand as he stared down at his phone and the unread message he’d sent a few hours ago. More specifically three hours and sixteen minutes ago.

Jinho felt like an absolute coward. Waiting a whole day just to check on his friend? Pitiful. What a _great_ friend he was. He’d barely made it through his day without his crippling self deprecation leaving him bound to his apartment in a useless heap on the floor. He managed to relocate to his room to avoid Hyunggu’s questioning before the younger had come home from his classes. He had probably guessed Jinho had already gone to bed, since that was the only time he ever closed his door, and decided to leave him be for the night.

Unbeknownst to his roommate, Jinho was very much awake and had been staring at his phone screen for three hours and eighteen minutes now, waiting for a response. He should have been finishing up the melody for the next song, but he couldn’t get his mind off of the look on Hongseok’s face before he’d fled to his room last night. He hadn’t even slept because of it.

The chime-like ding from his phone nearly made him jump out of his skin. He picked it up from his desk and glued his eyes to Hongseok’s reply.

 

From Hongseok:  
Sorry I just saw this

 

_Ding!_

 

From Hongseok:  
I was out with a friend

 

_Ding!_

 

From Hongseok:  
I’m okay now, thanks for asking though. 

 

_Ding!_

 

From Hongseok:  
Sorry for running off at the party.

From Jinho:  
It’s okay, I’m not mad about it or anything.

From Jinho:  
Just worried

From Hongseok:  
Please don’t

From Jinho:  
Don’t what? Worry?

From Hongseok:  
Yeah.

From Jinho:  
Am I not allowed to worry as your friend?

 

The clock ticked by ten minutes before Hongseok’s reply came.

 

From Hongseok:  
No

From Jinho:  
What if it’s not something I can help?

From Hongseok:  
Just

From Hongseok:  
Try not to

From Jinho:  
Do you not worry about Changgu? Or Yan An?

From Hongseok:  
...yes

From Jinho:  
So why can’t I worry about you like you worry about them?

 

Jinho knew he was treading on thin ice, but this had been eating at him since they made up.

 

 

From Hongseok:  
Because worrying brings false hope

 

Oh.

 

From Jinho:  
I’m sorry

 

Jinho sighed as it was left on read. What could he even do at this point? Just end the friendship? He wasn’t sure he was any less stressed than before he’d tried to mend it, so why was he still holding on and making the person he’s clinging on to so miserable.

 

He really hated it.

 

That he was like this.

 

He’d never held on to anyone so tightly, knowing it might not make either of them happy. 

At the very least, Hongseok had told him he was okay. He should believe him if he’s going to try to worry less. He had one thing accomplished, now maybe he could get some work done. 

Reluctantly, he priced himself out of his desk chair and yanked open his bedroom door. The entire exchange had left him exhausted. He blamed it on how anxious waiting for Hongseok’s reply had made him. You know, on top of going nearly forty hours with no sleep now. He’d bought a new container of coffee grounds to help lessen the exhaustion over this past weekend, so one single thing was in his favor tonight.

After scooping the grounds into the coffee maker and pressing a few buttons, he let his eyes glaze over as he leaned back against the counter. It was going to be another long week. He needed to at least finish the melody and lyrics for a song before dragging in anyone willing to lend him their voice. If he was lucky, he could do all of that in a week. If he wasn’t... well, he hoped he was luckier than the past had proven him to be.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me how much Hongseok was suffering?” The dreadfully familiar voice behind him was quiet, raspy, and tired.

He turned around to see the sad droop of Hyunggu’s eyes. With a sigh, he waved him over. The younger padded around the counter, remaining a ways away from Jinho.

“I didn’t know how much he wanted to share.” Jinho said, truthfully. “What he’d told me, he’d done so with hesitation.”

“Changgu too me after you left. The video, the upperclassmen, the threats, the stares, the beatings. But I still don’t know what you two argued about. He wouldn’t tell me that part. He said you had to be the one to tell me.”

Jinho froze.

“What beatings?”

“The upperclassmen. When they cornered him in the gym locker room.” Hyunggu explained, suddenly confused as to why Jinho hadn’t heard about them.

“Hongseok never told me...” He mumbled. His face fell to the floor. “He hasn’t told me anything that’s been going on for a while.”

“He... he hasn’t? But I thought you two made up?” Hyunggu took a step closer.

“We did. But it’s... complicated.” He sighed,running a hand through his rusty red hair. “Whenever we talk to each other he avoids the subject. He won’t tell me anything. He just smiles and acts fine. Talking about it just makes him upset and angry, so I just let him change the subject.”

Hyunggu scrunched up his face. He found it odd. The two were friends, and wasn’t it better to talk things out?

“I don’t want to lose him again.”

 

______________

 

Draft:  
I’m still trying to get over you

 

Hongseok stared at his phone at the unsent reply. With a grunt he shook his head and locked his phone. He should be studying. It’s been _days_. It’s not like he could just send that out of the blue. Especially if he couldn’t even send it that night. He didn’t have time to worry about an embarrassing text he didn’t send. He only had an hour or so before he was supposed to get dinner with Sanghyuk. That should be more distracting than seven words.

 

Yet here he was, staring at the same page in his textbook, fretting over those seven words as rain drummed against the windows of the library.

 

In the end, he accomplished nothing before the curly haired third year plopped down at the seat at the table across from him, looking a bit damp. Much to the dismay of the other students in the library, he continued to prove he was physically incapable of speaking quietly. 

“Ooh, what an incredible student. Studying so diligently.” He grinned. Hongseok shot him a wry smile as he packed away his books. “You hungry?”

“Where do you wanna go?” He answered with a nod.

“Have you tried the new ramen place that opened down the street?”

Hongseok shook his head. 

“Then how about we go there? I’ve only heard good things about it.”

“Sure, why not.” He pulled on his backpack and grabbed his umbrella, glad he remembered to bring one two people could fit under. They both made their way outside, Sanghyuk taking in a big long inhale of the fresh, rain scented air. Hongseok popped the umbrella open and offered a smile and a dry space to share. The other thanked him happily as they started down the sidewalk. 

They passed by a couple shops with neon signs that shimmered on the wet sidewalks and danced in the raindrops that hit the pavement. Hongseok always said he liked the rain. He always said he enjoyed being outside. But rain was much better enjoyed from inside, behind a window with a hot cup of tea and a nice book. The damp air always settled a heavy stone of loneliness in his stomach. When walking through the downpour, all other sounds are muffled. It’s almost claustrophobic. Above all, it’s lonely when you can barely hear the footsteps and words from the person walking beside you.

“Ah! Here it is!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, tapping Hongseok’s arm. He shook his head to rid himself of the suddenly unhappy thoughts he was having on what was supposed to be a happy date and closed the umbrella, following him inside. A wave of mouthwatering scents made his stomach growl as soon as they entered the restaurant. It was a small place, with only eight tables at most. The only one left open was a tall table with two tall stools by the window. Hongseok couldn’t think of a better table to sit at.

Hopping up into their seats, they pulled the yellow checklist-style menus out from behind the napkins. Sanghyuk quickly explained the order process to Hongseok. First, you choose what style of ramen you want, broth flavor, and then toppings. Then, you write your name down and bring it up to the counter and pay. Easier than trying to list everything you want to an employee that could possibly care less about being there. Hongseok thought it was a good idea.

Scanning through all the options, Hongseok couldn’t help but think about how much Jinho would like it here. Maybe he should bring him here as an apology? Or he could stop thinking about Jinho for two seconds, since he was on a date after all. A date with someone who wasn’t Jinho. That had interest in him. That liked men. That he had a _chance_ with. He quickly checked off everything he wanted and waited for Sanghyuk to finish.

“Hey, I’ll pay today since I’m interrupting your study time.” He told him, setting the tiny, very dull pencil back in the glass cup next to the napkins. Hongseok’s eyes widened.

“Sanghyuk, you don’t have to do that-“

“I want to. Plus, this place isn’t that expensive.” He cut in, stubbornly.

“Wait, I thought you’d never been here?”

“I never directly said that. And there _is_ such a thing as looking up their menu on the internet to check prices.” He slipped out of his seat and took both their tickets up to the counter. Hongseok gave him a fake glare when Sanghyuk looked back with his usual dumb grin. 

He felt bad. He was just using Sanghyuk to get over Jinho. But this kid was so nice. Hongseok didn’t think he deserved him.

“Our orders shouldn’t take too long.” He said as he came back to the table, carrying two glasses of water. He sat them on either side of the table and climbed back onto the stool. Hongseok nodded with a hum, taking a sip from the glass. 

“Thank you.” He said, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’ve got it easy compared to you. It’s only the nice thing to do.” 

Hongseok let a smile spread across his lips. 

 

______________

 

Eventually, Jinho worked up the courage to text Hongseok again. The glaring need to get another song finished by next week at the latest scared him more than an upset Hongseok. He needed someone else’s voice. He’d been trying to work on a jazzy, ballad style song, but overworking himself, lack of sleep, and the rainy weather got the best of him. He lost his voice a day ago and it wasn’t recovering quickly. In fact, he was pretty sure he was getting a cold.

 

From Jinho:  
Hey, is that offer to let me borrow your voice still valid?

 

Personally, he thought he’d been a little too straight forward, but Hongseok’s reply didn’t indicate he’d thought so too.

 

From Hongseok:  
The offer still stands. 

From Jinho:  
Would you mind sending me an audio message or video of you singing something?

From Jinho:  
I have to figure out what will suit your voice best.

From Hongseok:  
Sure, hang on.

 

Jinho set the tea kettle on the stove and turned one of the burners on as he waited, flames just tall enough to skim the bottom. A couple boxes threaten to fall out of the cabinet and attack him as he dug around for the tea he bought a while ago to help soothe his throat. He didn’t know if he’d like either of the flavors he’d ordered online, but they were supposedly the best and he had been desperate and willing to spend his last few won in his bank account that week on tea to keep him out of this very predicament. Then, as most people do, he forgot about his resolution to drink a cup of it every day as a preventive measure and the tea bags got shoved to the back of the cabinet. He found them just in time to hear his phone buzz on the counter.

 

From Hongseok:  
VID_000367.mov

From Hongseok:  
Sorry if I’m a little rusty. It’s been a while. 

From Hongseok:  
And I’m cooking dinner, so ignore any other sounds

 

As expected, Hongseok was in his kitchen. Jinho could hear the sound of a knife scraping against a cutting board as his hand moved out of view and the camera faced the ceiling, most likely sitting beside him on the counter. Soft chopping noises were followed by a low hum, setting up the beginning of the song. He starts out quiet, but gets more confident as he begins singing. Jinho recognizes the song as 10cm’s “Stalker”.

It was good. He was good. It was a little shaky at first, but he got more stable midway through. Hongseok’s voice was the kind made to sing the songs you hear in dramas that never leave your head. Smooth, warm, and full of emotion.

But something about the choice of song struck a chord. Jinho figured it wasn’t intentional. That it was just a song. But it felt directed at him and he felt sorry, even though he knew he couldn’t say it.

 

From Jinho:  
That was great

From Jinho:  
I mean really great

From Jinho:  
Are you free one day this week? 

From Jinho:  
I think you could sing the song I was intending to sing, but I lost my voice

 

The tea kettle whistled and stole Jinho’s attention for a couple minutes as he poured the hot water into his mug over the tea bag. What flavor was this? Horehound? He’d never even heard of it before. He hoped it didn’t taste like garbage.

 

From Hongseok:  
Really? I knew I could sing, but I didn’t think I was necessarily great

From Hongseok:  
I’m busy tomorrow, but I could spare a couple hours the day after?

From Jinho:  
Perfect. I’ll send you the lyrics and the instrumental so you can get familiar with it. I’m still working out some of the notes and couldn’t make the guide in time before my voice died.

From Hongseok:  
Okay, no rush

 

Jinho thanked every higher power he could think of off the top of his head and brought his mug with him over to the computer to try and find the files.

 

______________

 

Hongseok felt good. Like, _really_ good. He’d finished recording for Jinho in what the older claimed as record time with his scratchy voice. He’d taken the test he’d been studying for, able to confidently answer every question but one, and he was currently being kissed senseless by Sanghyuk as he pressed him against the door to his and his roommate, Juho’s, apartment trying to blindly unlock the door.

They’d had a few too many drinks in celebration of Hongseok taking that test in confidence. Too many drinks for Hongseok to safely make it back to his own apartment, when Sanghyuk’s was only a block away. At some point, Hongseok had gotten incredibly touchy. Now he was nearly falling through the doorway with Sanghyuk’s hands tightly gripping his waist. After some fumbling, he heard a click as the door was locked behind them. 

Hongseok’s knees gave out as the back of his legs knocked against the arm of the couch. He tumbled back onto the cushions, pulling Sanghyuk back with him. A pillow flew off the couch as they bounced back up a little. The younger let out a startled squeak as Hongseok wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled him back down by his collar. 

He let out a breathy groan when Hongseok rolled his hips against him. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sanghyuk asked between breaths and tongue. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” _with Jinho._ He gasped, head buzzing from the alcohol. He wanted Jinho. He wanted _this_ with Jinho. But he wasn’t going to get Jinho. So he went along when Sanghyuk led him by the hand into his bedroom. He let him pull his sweater over his head. Returned kisses and touches. It was clumsy and sloppy and everything smelled like beer and sweat. He let himself be loud. 

But he didn’t let himself cry out any names in fear of screaming the wrong one. 

Snoring that rattled the wall above his head woke him before the sun could fully rise to shine through the tiny window on the other side of the room. His head pounded with the telltale hangover headache and his stomach did flips as soon as he cracked open his eyes. He could barely make out the time from the clock on Sanghyuk’s desk. 

_6:03 am._

The taste in the back of his throat warned him to find a reasonable place to empty the contents of his stomach, _quickly_. The weight of a body laying on top of him stopped him from flinging himself off the bed. He grimaced as his skin stuck to dried sweat and skin. 

“Sanghyuk, get off.” Hongseok grumbled, weakly pushing him off. “I’m gonna throw up.” 

“Sorry.” The younger mumbled and moved beside him. Hongseok rolled out of the bed with urgency, taking the comforter with him. He wrapped himself up in the thick blanket before fleeing to the bathroom just in time. 

He realized the snoring stopped just before he’d finished coughing up his lungs into the toilet bowl. But it hadn’t stopped when he’d woken up Sanghyuk. That means it wasn’t Sanghyuk who was snoring. 

_Shit._

As quietly as he could, he flushed and cleaned his face at the sink. Thinking stealth was on his side, he crept out into the hall, running right into a sturdy boy with platinum blond hair. He took a few steps back in surprise. 

“You’re not Sanghyuk.” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Uh, no... I’m not.” He said back, unsure as to whether the blond was fully awake or not. 

“Then I guess you’re Hongseok?” His eyes were trained on Hongseok’s face, but they remained droopy and slightly unfocused. 

Hongseok nodded, pulling the comforter tighter around himself. The boy’s eyes caught the movement then flickered back up to his face, mouth drawing into a line in an odd gesture of understanding. Hongseok felt like he was suddenly caught in an incredibly awkward staring contest. Before he could ask who the boy was, Sanghyuk flung open his bedroom door, thankfully fully dressed in a T-shirt and plaid pajama pants. 

“Hey Hon- O-oh. Juho! You’re home!” He looked just as shocked as Hongseok. 

“Yeah I got back last night. At the usual time I get back from work.” He said flatly. Hongseok couldn’t tell if it was out of bitterness or just stating the obvious. But then he realized. Juho had to have heard everything. 

“Right. Did uh... did you...?” Sanghyuk’s eyes glanced over to a frantic, blushing Hongseok and back to his roommate. 

“Hear? Yeah. You guys were fucking loud.” 

The thought of running right back into the bathroom and locking himself in crossed Hongseok’s mind at least seven times through the entirety of Juho’s reply. 

“Uh... Sorry. About that.... we had a few too many drinks and it just... happened.” Sanghyuk tried to half explain, half apologize. 

“I mean I slept through the worst of it. Jaeyoon and Inseong are worse even when they’re sober.” He scratched behind his ear, expression blank and unchanging. Hongseok was dumbstruck. The kid seemed absolutely unfazed. 

“You. You slept through it? We didn’t keep you awake?” He sputtered. No one acted surprised but him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Juho’s... a really heavy sleeper.” Sanghyuk offered with a shrug. Hongseok just stared at them both in amazement, his face still pink. 

“It’s common courtesy to give your partner something to wear the morning after.” Juho pointed out suddenly. Hongseok’s blush came back full force. It was Sanghyuk’s turn to sputter. “That’s why he’s got the blanket, right?” 

“I’ll get him clothes, just hang on.” Sanghyuk ducked back into his room. Hongseok heard him knock over something and mutter a curse. He came back holding a shirt that looked too large for him and some neon basketball shorts. “He had to vomit as soon as he woke up. I didn’t even have a chance to offer him clothes.” He defended before handing them to Hongseok, who slipped an arm out of his cocoon to accept them. 

He muttered a low “thank you” and slipped back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. 

“You told me he was hot at least a million times but I thought it would be the sort of thing where he was only hot to you and ugly to everyone else. I was wrong.” He heard Juho say to Sanghyuk on the other side of the door. 

“Sh-shut up! He can hear you! He’s probably already dying inside you idiot!” He hissed in warning. Hongseok just pulled the clothes on even faster. His soul had absolutely left his body by this point. 

“Sanghyuk?” Hongseok started, rolling the sausage around on his plate. Juho had made them both breakfast as an apology for nearly giving Hongseok a panic attack. It was... rather crispy and... charred, but they both agreed it was the thought that counts as they smiled and waved as Juho left for his other job. 

“Hmm?” He hummed in reply, a mouth full of burnt hashbrowns. It wasn’t even eight in the morning and Hongseok already had a million regrets and high blood pressure. 

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to do what we did last night again anytime soon.” He couldn’t meet Sanghyuk’s round, childishly innocent eyes. 

“Was I that bad?” He asked, voice sounding hurt. Hongseok didn’t have to look up to see the slump of his shoulders. 

“No! No no!” He waved his hands in front of him. “You were great. I mean, I was really drunk, so what I can remember was great. And I mean you even remembered protection when I probably wouldn’t have, so thank you.” He stuttered, trying to not hurt Sanghyuk’s feelings in any way. 

“Oh uh, you’re welcome. But why...?” The younger sat his fork down on his plate. Hongseok rubbed his neck, unsure how to form the right words. 

“I just... last night was our what... our fourth date?” Sanghyuk nodded, confirming the number. “I wanted to not... go this fast. I’m not really comfortable with getting to where we are this fast. I’m not really emotionally ready for things to get this intimate after just two weeks of really dating.” He sighed. It sounded sort of dumb once it was no longer just in his head. 

“So you’re just not ready? I just thought... last night you said you were. I’m so sorry if I pushed you to this in any way.” Sanghyuk said, working through it until he reached panic mode as he spoke. 

“No you didn’t push me. Don’t think that. Drunk me... might have been ready, but sober me is better at thinking and overthinking things and wasn’t ready yet.” Hongseok reasoned. “Next time... if we ever do this again, I want it to be when I can say I’m ready without any alcohol involved.” 

Sanghyuk looked down at his plate and nodded his head. “That makes sense. I won’t make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I won’t make the first move from now on. You let me know when you’re ready.” He lifted his head and smiled at Hongseok, meaning every word whole heartedly. 

“Thank you.” Hongseok smiled back. “Really.” 

______________ 

From Changgu:  
Jinho? Is Hongseok at your place? 

Jinho squinted at his phone. What time was it? _Oh shit._ he slept through his alarm. Thank goodness Changgu messaged him five minutes after it went off or he’d be late to class. But the subject of that message was more important than him getting out of bed straight away. 

From Jinho:  
No? Is he not with you? 

From Changgu:  
No, he didn’t come home last night 

From Changgu:  
And he isn’t answering his phone 

From Changgu:  
I don’t know where he is and Sanghyuk isn’t answering either 

Sanghyuk? Why would Sanghyuk know where he was? 

From Jinho:  
Do you think he would even know? 

From Changgu:  
I mean he’s dating Hongseok so I’d hope he knows where his boyfriend is or I’m going to kill him 

...Boyfriend? 

From Jinho:  
They’re dating? 

From Changgu:  
Yes? 

From Jinho:  
When did that happen??? 

From Changgu:  
Hongseok didn’t tell you? It’s been around two weeks now. They had their first date the day after the party. 

Suddenly the words from Hongseok’s late reply meant something entirely different. _Out with a friend_? 

From Jinho:  
No, he didn’t 

From Changgu:  
Oh 

From Changgu:  
Well 

From Changgu:  
If you hear from Hongseok let me know! K! Bye! 

Jinho let his phone fall onto the bed beside him. What the _fuck_? Is that why that little curly haired brat was acting so touchy with Hongseok at the party? Were they just flirting? That whole time? In front of everyone? Jinho hated that he could hear Wooseok’s voice in the back of his head saying “really? Right in front of my salad!?” in such a serious situation. The internet had tainted that boy and he was working too hard to drag everyone down with him. 

“Ugh!” He groaned, but forced himself out of bed anyway. He peeled his pajamas off and threw on whatever clothing was easiest to get to, not caring if it matched. Which, in normal lighting, the violet plaid hoodie Hyunggu had bought him and the pair of yellow sweatpants, most definitely did not. 

“Jinho? You okay?” Hyunggu asked with a voice scratchy from sleep, quietly knocking on his bedroom door. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just woke up to some bad news. Sorry if I woke you.” He quickly apologized, knowing Hyunggu’s first class of the day didn’t start for another two hours. 

“It’s Okay, I can go back to sleep. I was just worried. Good luck in class.” 

“Thanks, you too.” Jinho called after him, hearing the floor creak in the younger’s bedroom and the door click shut. He paused before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

“Why... did I say that was bad news?” He whispered to himself. 

Shouldn’t he be happy for Hongseok? Why was he mad? It’s not like he was dating Hongseok. They were friends. He should be happy for his friend. But most importantly, he should be worried. Wasn’t Changgu’s first message about him being missing? He quickly tapped away at his phone, sending a quick text to see if Hongseok would reply. 

From Jinho:  
Hey are you okay? Changgu told me you never came home last night 

No immediate response. 

Looks like today would be another stressful day for Jinho. 

______________ 

Hongseok winced at the harsh scolding Yan An was giving him. It was hard to feel intimidated when Changgu was clinging to him, crying his eyes out. 

“Do you realize what we could have been thinking when you didn’t answer?” Yan An hissed, tone higher pitched than usual because of his temper. “Knowing all the other guys you’ve been out with and what’s been going on, we thought you’d been beaten and left to die in some alleyway!” 

“Yan An, for the tenth time, I’m sorry. My phone died. I was drunk. I know I should have let you know I was staying with Sanghyuk because I was too drunk to drive home. I know I shouldn’t have let my phone die. And I regret every decision that was made last night. Please, stop yelling. My head is still killing me.” 

“You were _drunk_? Drunk, a dead useless phone, at night, basically alone. What happened to never getting drunk again? Do you really want alcohol poisoning again?” Yan An was nearly screeching at this point. 

“No, I don’t. I was going to stop after a few drinks in celebration of surviving that test. I wasn’t intending to drink enough to be miserable in the morning. But the waitress thought I was cute and gave us a few more on the house and I felt bad wasting them. I wasn’t drunk enough to get alcohol poisoning, just too drunk to operate heavy machinery or make reasonable decisions. Now can I please just go to bed?” 

“It’s noon and you have the bravery to waltz back in here after no word from you in almost twenty four hours just to take a nap?” Yan An scoffed. 

“Yes. Actually. Like I’ve been trying to say, my stupid decisions seemed like punishment enough. I feel like death, both from the hangover and suffocating amounts of regret. So could you stop yelling at me, remove Changgu, and let me take a depression nap to try and get rid of this headache?” Hongseok replied. Yan An stared at him, stunned in disbelief. 

“I’d like to be able to wake up in time to go to my second class of the day so I don’t miss more than one today.” He continued, further angering the blond. 

“Fine.” He pulled Changgu away from Hongseok. “Go nap. I won’t check on you to make sure you don’t miss your class.” With that, he dragged his boyfriend down the hall and slammed their bedroom door shut. Hongseok sighed loudly. He didn’t want to admit it, but his head wasn’t the only thing that still hurt. 

Out of the many things currently in pain as he holed himself away in his room, he was most upset at the ache in his heart. The one that came from listening to the quiet voice in the back of his head asking, “what would Jinho think?” But he would simply ask it more questions in return. “About me sleeping with someone? Or dating? Why would he care? We’re just friends.” 

Friends. He’d only seen him face to face once since the birthday party. Only spoken through text a few times. Were they still friends? Before he could fall too deep into his thoughts, he plugged his charger into his phone and dug out a pair of clean pajamas from his chest of drawers. The clothes he wore yesterday weren’t really ideal for napping, even after being very kindly washed by Sanghyuk. At least Sanghyuk had let him shower before he left. The only evidence of what they’d done last night was the regret pooling in Hongseok’s stomach. 

Hopefully getting some sleep would fix things. At least a little bit. 

______________

 

“Hui.”

The blond hummed to show he was listening as he continued to scribble something down in his notebook.

“I think I’m going insane.”

“I thought you already were?” He laughed.

“No, really. I think something’s wrong with me.” Hui finally noticed the frightened tone of Jinho’s voice and turned around in his chair to face him. 

“What’s going on? You look scared.” He rolled his chair closer to Jinho so he could hold his hand to comfort him. 

“Hongseok’s dating someone.”

“And this relates to you going insane...how exactly?” Hui raised an eyebrow.

“I’m angry about it.” Jinho breathed. “And I don’t know why.”

Hui frowned.

“Is the guy nice?”

“I think so. He makes him laugh and smile.”

“So you’re not angry because he’s a bad person?”

“No.”

“Is he taking all of Hongseok’s time?”

“I don’t think he’s getting in the way of his work or classes or anything.”

“Have you hung out with him lately?”

“I saw him once last week.”

“Have you two talked much?”

“We texted back and forth a few times, but not for very long.”

“Did he tell you he was dating someone?”

“No, I found out from Changgu.”

“So _he_ didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“Are you mad he didn’t tell you?”

“Yes. But it’s more than just that.”

“Why else?” Hui ran a thumb over Jinho’s knuckles.

“When Changgu told me, it was because he hadn’t come home and wasn’t answering his phone. I got a text from him later that day saying not to worry and that he spent the night with a friend. Then I got one from Changgu saying he’d spent the night at his boyfriend’s house.”

“So you’re mad he disappeared, or mad he spent the night with the guy?”

“I’m...” Jinho paused to think it over.

“It’s okay, take your time.” Hui told him, patting his thigh.

“I’m mad he spent the night with the guy and didn’t tell anyone.”

“Why?”

“Because I got worried. And I’m mad he’s dating someone.”

“Why are you mad he’s dating someone?”

“I don’t know!” Jinho cried, throwing his head into his hands. “That’s why I’m going insane!”

Hui frowned again.

“Do you like Hongseok?”

“What? He’s my friend, of course.” Jinho said, looking up at Hui in confusion.

“Let me ask again, do you _like_ Hongseok?”

“I..o-oh.” Jinho’s face went blank when he realized what Hui was asking. The fact that he couldn’t say no as quickly as he had when Hui asked him a similar question before, scared him. Hui raised another eyebrow as he waited for a response.

“Hui, I... I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Jinho’s voice got shaky.

“Hey, calm down. Take it slow.”

“Is that why I’m mad?” He quickly asked. “Is that why I don’t want him to date?”

“Do you think it is? How do you feel about him?”

“Towards Hongseok?”

“Yes.”

Jinho looked back down at his hands. 

“Maybe...” Jinho started.

“Maybe?” Hui repeated.

“Maybe I feel how he felt at the party. When he said he didn’t want me to date.”

“How do you think he felt, then?”

“Like... I’d forget about him if I did. Or that I’d leave him. That I’d never like him back.” Jinho answered, barely above a whisper.

“Is that how you feel?”

Jinho slowly nodded.

“You said before you didn’t want to lose him. Is that still true?”

He nodded again.

“But are you okay with feeling how he felt after you two made up?”

Jinho let his face fall into his hands again, shaking his head.

“Maybe this is karma.” Hui told him, giving him a pat on the back and pulling him in for a hug.

“Hui?”

“Hmm?”

“Did I actually like guys, this whole time?” Jinho asked quietly, voice muffled by Hui’s shirt.

“Why do you say that? You’ve dated plenty of women.”

“But I never felt like _this_ towards any of them.”

“Then I can’t really answer that.” Hui admitted, still thinking it over. He felt Jinho wrap his arms around his waist to finally reciprocate the hug. Jinho buried his face even deeper into Hui’s shirt. He could practically feel the heat from the older’s cheeks, seeping through the fabric.

 

“I’ve been pushing him away this whole time, because I didn’t even know.”

 

“That can happen.” The blond tried his best to console him. He rested his head on top of Jinho’s and traced circles down his back with his fingers. Jinho gripped Hui’s shirt tighter in his fists.

 

“Now he’s dating someone before I could even figure any of this out.”

 

 

“It... seems like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand Jinho FINALLY figures it out! It only took him 9 chapters smh. But! Now he has to figure out how to deal with the feelings he just realized he has! What will he do? Find out in the next chapter! I don’t know when it will be done! Ya girl might have tennis elbow.
> 
> And I just realized I’m quite literally writing Changgu’s reactions to almost everything as I would react. So I’m sorry if he comes off as a cry baby. My body’s default reaction to any extreme emotion is to cry. It doesn’t really seem weird to me to cry as often as he does in this story until I read other fics and realize... it is in fact, not normal. I apologize.
> 
> On another note:
> 
> Am I doing okay? Are you angry with me for not making this soft in the way you thought I would? I never said who’d be soft, in my defense.
> 
> But I haven’t checked over this for errors yet. I gotta go speak at a kids camp in the morning and don’t have the time, so I apologize in advance.
> 
> Thank you for the hits, kudos, and comments! Have a lovely day/night!
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).
> 
> [EDIT: warning for next chapter, Hyojong is full of surprises.]


	10. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE’RE ABOUT TO GET SO SOFT HERE. I literally had to pause while writing one section to roll on the floor like a giddy child (it didn’t help that I was listening to Khan’s “I’m Your Girl?” on repeat and also thinking about Hongseok AND cute girls at the same time, but that is besides the point!)
> 
> It’s a bit sloppily edited, but it’s almost 5am here and I wanted to post because I am soft and impatient.
> 
> Things are getting wild, getting soft, and best of all
> 
> *drum roll*
> 
>  
> 
> _GETTING CONFESSED!_

“How are things with Sanghyuk?” Changgu asked, leaning against the doorframe to Hongseok’s room as he held a warm steaming mug of tea between his hands. The older had been sitting slumped in his desk chair, staring off into space and listening to sad music for nearly an hour and his roommate was getting concerned.

“Well. They’re going well.”

Changgu wasn’t convinced. He made it clear with silence and a raised eyebrow in response.

“Okay. It could be slightly better but it’s partially my fault.”

“That what I thought.” Changgu smiled. “What’s going on?”

Hongseok fidgeted a bit in his chair. “We uh... the night I didn’t come home?”

“Yeah, what about it? Yan An’s still mad.” Changgu took a sip from his mug.

“So... we were really drunk.”

“And...?”

“I might have... drunkenly... initiated... um.”

“What did you do?” He sighed.

“We uh... slept together before my sober brain was ready, but I was too drunk to make myself say no. And I might have made the first move.”

Changgu blinked at him in mild disbelief.

“How many dates have you been on?” He sputtered.

“Four, as of that night.” Hongseok answered.

“I mean... that’s not... _uncommon_... but that is pretty fast for you.” Changgu frowned. “I take it you aren’t feeling too great about it? Possibly overthinking, as usual?”

Hongseok nodded, lips pursed in an attempt to hide the obvious guilt on his face.

“Was he that bad?”

“No! Why is that always the first question?!” He groaned, dragging his hands over his face. 

“What, it’s a fair thing to ask.”

“He was great okay? We were both drunk and my intoxicated brain thought he was fucking amazing, but that’s what makes me feel even worse about it!” Hongseok exclaimed, hands tugging at his hair in exasperation. 

“Why would that make you feel worse? If anything that should be encouraging you to do it again.” Changgu cocked his head to the side, puzzled.

“Because! He’s been so unbelievably understanding and good to me and I don’t think I deserve it. I can’t even say I really truly like him back, and definitely can’t say my feelings for him are even remotely equal to his feelings for me. I feel like I’m just playing with him now!” He shook his head in frustration. “Changgu. He’s paid for almost all of my meals. He’s met me anywhere and everywhere for our dates, even if I’m the one driving us and the place we’re going to was closer to where he was before. He used _protection_ , even when he was almost too drunk to unlock his own door. What kind of angel did you set me up with?”

“One that you deserved, obviously.” Changgu grinned.

“He’s too good for me, don’t you hear what I’m saying?” 

“And I’m telling you this is what you needed. You needed someone who actually cared about you wholeheartedly. Someone who would do absolutely anything for you.” Changgu countered, taking another sip of his tea.

“Changgu, please. I think I’m just going to hurt him.”

“And why’s that? Don’t tell me you’re still pining after Jinho?” His tone turned sour at the idea. Changgu clamped his mouth shut.

“So that’s really it then? After everything he’s done? After all the times me and Yan An have helped you back up onto your feet? After finding someone who obviously likes you? You’re still after the straight boy with no intentions of keeping you from hurting just so he can still call you his friend?”

Hongseok let himself shrink and feel dreadfully small as Changgu continued spitting out the truth.

“It all just feels too soon...” He mumbled.

“So you don’t think you’ve suffered long enough?”

Hongseok looked away, unable to meet Changgu’s eyes.

“If you aren’t going to work as hard as me and Yan An are to try and piece you back together after you’ve broken, I’m not sure our efforts are worth it.” Changgu sighed. Hongseok could hear how heavily laced it was with disappointment. “I helped you this far, but you still have to get over Jinho yourself.”

Hongseok watched him turn and walk back down the hall towards the living room. He pulled his knees up into the chair and held them tight against his chest.

Changgu was right. But it was just so hard to get over someone like Jinho.

The small man that always had stars in his eyes, even when they looked tired and hollow. The guy he could sit for hours with and just talk about nothing without getting bored. The guy who helped him and admired his cooking. The one who made dinner feel like a family event, rather than a bunch of strangers sitting together at a table.

This was going to be hard, but all he could do is try.

 

_____________

 

Jinho couldn’t believe what he was doing. Is this what butterflies felt like?

He’d been going over the recordings he did with Hongseok so he could trim them and place them in the midi file for nearly two hours now. But he kept stopping, getting distracted and just enjoying the sound of Hongseok’s voice. 

It made him giddy. The fact that Hongseok sang a song _he_ wrote? Incredible. Unbelievable. He nearly felt drunk on how happy it made him.

 

But he wasn’t getting anything accomplished fooling around like this.

 

Deciding to finally stop wasting his time, Jinho scooted his laptop back and opened his notebook. He had two songs left, one cover rearrangement and one last original song. Should he start with the original one? Or figure out a song to rearrange? He still hadn’t had a chance think about choosing one. What genre would he rearrange it to? He’d probably have to decide after actually choosing a song. He ruffled his hair in frustration. There were to many things going on in his head to get anything done.

As if Hyunggu had heard his brain struggling and running on fumes, he popped his head into Jinho’s bedroom.

“Hey, Jinho? Me, Yuto and Wooseok are going out to eat. You’ve been holed up in here since you got out of your last class, you wanna join us?”

Jinho easily exclaimed an all too speedy, “Yes!” and went to find his wallet. Hyunggu laughed happily at his eagerness to take a break for food. The smaller man practically skipped out of the apartment once they’d both grabbed their belongings and slipped into their shoes. Knowing he couldn’t afford to procrastinate much more after this, Jinho was determined to enjoy himself and some quality food before his diet permanently became cheap espresso and convenience store snack foods a day away from their expiration date.

“I’m gonna drive by their place to pick them up, so it’ll take a little longer to get there.” Hyunggu warned as he slowly backed out of the parking space labeled as his on the hot pink parking pass he kept up on his dash. 

“That’s fine.” Jinho answered with a double thumbs up. “I’ve been meaning to ask, but with all my year end due dates looming over me, I keep forgetting. Things still good with Yuto?” Hyunggu giggled nervously as he watched for a chance to pull out onto the road between the steady traffic.

“Things are good. He’s good.” Hyunggu started. It didn’t take much prodding on Jinho’s part before the younger was practically gushing over his boyfriend. “He’s just so sweet and willing to actually listen, you know? And his eyes look so serious when he’s listening to me when I’m stressing over something. His face goes so soft when he’s worried, and frankly, I might just die one day because of it. I think he’s going to just drown me in gross mushy heart eyes and I won’t even try to fight it.”

“Pfft. I’m happy you’re doing well, but my god, you’re whipped.” Jinho snickered. Hyunggu lightly smacked him on the arm before quickly returning his hand to the wheel. His fond grin never left his face despite Jinho’s teasing.

“Ah, it’s just right up here. Could you grab my phone and text them we’re almost there?” He asked, ducking his head slightly to get a better look at the row of apartments ahead, and to avoid the ray of blinding light coming in through the window from the late afternoon sun.

“Mm.” He hummed unlocking Hyunggu’s phone easily. He pulled up the group chat Hyunggu had for himself, Yuto, and Wooseok, and sent a quick “We here -Jinho”. The two sent back various memes signaling they got the message. He let out a quiet huff of laughter at their choices. Yuto sent a picture of a smiling cat, while Wooseok sent something that was so heavily saturated and filtered, Jinho wouldn’t have known what it even meant without the white text at the bottom. 

Hyunggu pulled up to park on the side of the road in front of one of the small apartments. Jinho looked it over while they waited. It wasn’t a standard apartment. If anything, it was more like a regular house, but with two floors, each counting as a separate home. Yuto and Wooseok lived on the second floor, while other students lived on the first. Jinho wondered if they even knew the other inhabitants. All the apartments on the street were built in the exact same style, just with minor differences, like yard decor, simple landscaping, and an interesting array of things being used as curtains on the other side of the windows. Jinho wondered if the One Piece sheets hanging in the window of the apartment they were parked in front of belonged to Yuto or Wooseok.

Before he could ask Hyunggu, the two giants walked around the side of the building, Yuto gripping his sides from laughter and Wooseok looking pleased by a joke he’d probably just told. The tallest of the two waved at the car, Jinho waved out of the passenger seat window with a smile. 

Hyunggu leaned over to grin at the two before yelling a playful, “Get in losers, were getting barbecue!” Wooseok laughed at his altered movie reference, Yuto shot him a shy smile. Jinho punched Hyunggu’s shoulder and he moved back into the driver’s seat, still giggling. The car wiggled as the others climbed into the back seat.

“Do you guys have enough leg room?” Jinho turned in his seat to ask, after noticing he could see Wooseok’s knees on either side of his seat.

“I have more room than usual, since your legs aren’t as long as Yuto’s.” Wooseok answered easily. Jinho stuck out his tongue at the mildly teasing remark. “I’m always banished to the back seat so I’m used to it, I’m fine.” He eventually said, goofy grin stretched across his face.

“I’m fine as well.” Yuto assured him.

“Okay, then! Let’s go!” Hyunggu exclaimed. The other three cheered, followed by various other noises of excitement such as Wooseok’s low whooping sounds, Yuto’s self created slightly off key background music, and a thump and an ow after Jinho hit his elbow on the car door while doing a little dance in his seat. Hyunggu just cackled at them and made his way down the road. 

 

 

The adventure out of the house for food started out well. Yuto and Wooseok made the ride there much more entertaining than Jinho had expected out of a fifteen minute car ride to a barbecue restaurant. At some point they had all broke out into singing a song by Twice and Wooseok had tried his best to dance to the chorus with his long limbs in the crowded back seat. If Jinho wasn’t buckled in, he’d have been rolling from laughter.

The wait for a table was fortunately short, and though the place was a bit crowded, it wasn’t incredibly loud or cramped. Wooseok immediately pointed a finger and laughed at Yuto’s devastated face when he realized everything on the menu was spicy. Hyunggu did his best to assure him they could probably ask for something to be toned down or the sauce left on the side. Wooseok made fun of Yuto again when he ordered an assortment of side dishes in place of a meal. 

Unfortunately, to Jinho’s dismay, a familiar sound of laughter caught his attention from across the room. He let his eyes wander around the room before they settled on a familiar face. There sat Hongseok, all eye smiles and pearly whites, sitting at a table for two across from a curly haired boy that could only be Sanghyuk. Suddenly Wooseok’s jokes weren’t as funny as they were before. 

His attention was torn between Hyunggu and his friends, and the guy he’d just recently realized he had feelings for.

It was one thing to know Hongseok was dating someone, but it was an entirely different thing seeing him out on a _date_ with that someone. He lost his appetite as soon as he saw their fingers intertwine.

“Hey, Jinho? You okay?” Hyunggu asked, midway through stealing a piece of pickled radish from Yuto.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered, dragging his eyes away from the happy couple across the room. 

“You haven’t touched your food and you keep staring off somewhere.” Hyunggu pointed out, obviously concerned.

“I think I’m just tired. I haven’t slept in a couple days and it just sort of hit me.” He lied, partially. He had, in fact, not slept in a couple days, but the tiredness had hit him almost an hour ago. However, after doing this sort of thing so often, he didn’t care anymore. It was the sudden pang of jealousy that had really hit him.

“Well, go on and eat then. We can be quiet on the way back so you can take a nap if you want. It’ll be dark when we leave, so it won’t be too hard to fall asleep.” Hyunggu suggested. Jinho smiled at him, thankful for his never ending kindness. He was a little shit sometimes, but he’s still a good kid. Yuto nodded beside him in agreement, mouth to full to verbally respond.

“Yeah, Jinho. We can be quiet.” Wooseok chipped in. “You gotta eat to have energy to bust through all your finals and senior stuff!” He jabbed a fist into the air at the word “bust”. 

Jinho smiled a little wider out of amusement. But his eyes didn’t behave as he’d hoped they would the rest of the night. He kept catching himself stealing glance across the restaurant at Hongseok, partially out of worry, partially out of jealousy. He told himself it was just to check and see if Hongseok was happy. But he didn’t know what to do if he looked up and saw that he wasn’t. Hyunggu offered to pay for his drink if he thought a glass of beer might help him wind down. Jinho waved off the offer as politely as he could, afraid he’d do something stupid with even a drop of alcohol in his system. 

“Ah, I’m gonna run to the restroom. I’ll be back.” Hyunggu told the others before standing and picking his way through the tables to the back of the establishment. Jinho didn’t know whether to tell him, stop him, or just sit in silent panic knowing he’d have to walk past Hongseok’s table. He chose the last option.

“Hey, Jinho. You sure you don’t want a beer? You look kinda tense.” Wooseok asked, nudging him with his elbow to get his attention.

“Oh, no no. I’m fine. I just... remembered how close one of my deadlines is. That’s all.” He chuckled, nervously. He slipped his eyes back to where Hyunggu was last. Much to his dismay, the friendly first year spotted Hongseok in no time and of course sparked up a conversation. Jinho cursed how talkative and friendly the kid was. 

Then, he did the very last thing Jinho had hoped he’d do. He pointed in their table’s direction and waved. Of course Wooseok waved back. It was hard to miss the giant student even in the crowded restaurant. Unfortunately, that meant it didn’t take Hongseok long to spot Jinho either. Jinho’s chest ached at how quickly the smile fell from Hongseok’s face. Hyunggu noticed and shot Jinho a confused pout. He did his best to ignore both and waved back with an awkward smile. 

The rest of the conversation involved Hyunggu obliviously chattering on, Sanghyuk easily acting buddy-buddy with the kid (probably just to tick Jinho off), and Hongseok fidgeting in his chair in discomfort. Jinho wanted to pull out his hair watching the scene.

“Who’s That Hyunggu’s talking to?” Yuto asked innocently after turning back around in his chair after Wooseok told him to wave. 

“Just a couple people we know. One of them we’ve only met once, though.” Jinho answered, as vaguely as possible before turning all of his attention back to his food, hoping a clean plate would be a good enough excuse to leave sooner.

“Looks like that got your appetite back.” Wooseok pointed out.

“It woke me up.” Jinho answered around a mouthful of barbecued pork belly. 

Eventually, Hyunggu remembered what he’d wandered in the direction for and finally parted ways with the couple. Jinho couldn’t help but notice Hongseok stealing glances his way, meeting eyes a few times before hurriedly looking away. It left Jinho’s face feeling too warm each time. 

Jinho wondered if all those times he thought he had a fever were actually just him having a crush on his friend without knowing yet. No wonder the cold medicine knocked him out so quick, if that was the case. It worked a little too well on the colds he never actually had.

“Hey, I’ll ask for some to go boxes, you don’t look like you’re doing too good again.” Hyunggu said, pulling Jinho out of his thoughts. 

“Ah, what? I’m fine.” 

“You were staring at your rice... for ten minutes.” Yuto said, in a quieter tone.

“I think you only blinked twice.” Wooseok told him, slightly amazed.

“Was I?” Jinho asked, suddenly embarrassed.

“Yeah. We can just finish up back home. I’ll call the waiter over.” Jinho watched as Hyunggu waved the employee over, asked for boxes and the check. He nodded and quickly scurried off to the register.

“This wasn’t that spicy if you wanna try some later.” Wooseok directed his statement to Yuto, pointing at the mess of... whatever it was that was on his plate.

“What did you even order?” Yuto asked, almost looking frightened by his roommates meal.

“...You know,” Wooseok started. “I don’t remember.” Yuto just shook his head.

Before Hyunggu could comment, the waiter came back with plenty of to go containers and the check.

“Oh, can we split the check?” Jinho asked the waiter. Hyunggu waved his hands.

“No, we’ll take care of it.” He told Jinho, then turned to the waiter. “You don’t have to split it.” He nodded with a smile and left them to check on another table.

“Isn’t it easier for us all to pay when it’s split though?” Jinho asked, puzzled.

“You aren’t paying tonight.” Wooseok said, digging through his wallet for cash.

“What? Of course I’m paying.”

“Dinner’s on us.” Hyunggu replied. “You and Yuto paid for pizza last time, so me and Wooseok are paying for this.”

“But we ate _meat_! That’s expensive!” Jinho hissed, genuinely worried for Hyunggu’s bank account.

“Think of this as your reward for all your hard work and a preview of your celebratory graduation dinner.” Hyunggu smiled, laying out have the bill amount in cash and change. After fumbling through his pockets for the last few cents, Wooseok did the same. He appeared more affected by the price than Hyunggu did by the look on his face when he peered into his almost empty wallet.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Jinho sighed. 

“Too bad.” Hyunggu told him.

“So sad.” Wooseok added.

Jinho couldn’t help but laugh at their childish reply.

 

_____________

 

“Hey, is everything okay?” Sanghyuk asked, already threading his fingers between Hongseok’s as they exited the restaurant and made their way down the sidewalk. “You looked nervous after Hyunggu stopped by the table.” Hongseok sharply inhaled, surprised Sanghyuk noticed.

“Everything’s fine.” Hongseok tried to reassure him, his shy smile not really helping his cause. “It’s just the first time I’ve run into anyone I know while I’m out on a date with you. I admit I got a little nervous. But it’s just sorta hard to explain.”

“Because it feels like you got caught?” Sanghyuk cocked his head to the side and gave Hongseok an unreadable look. He didn’t know how to take the question.

“Ye-Yeah. I guess it’s a little like that.” Hongseok laughed, hoping it didn’t sound fake. “I hadn’t told him we were dating yet since it’s only been...” he paused. “...I guess it’s been a while now, hasn’t it?”

“Over two weeks now.” Sanghyuk smiled, giving Hongseok’s hand a soft squeeze. He felt his cheeks grow warm.

“But, like I was saying... I hadn’t told him yet. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure this would work out and then I just forgot to mention it at all. Seeing him gave me a shock since I knew he didn’t know about us.”

“I figured he didn’t know by how surprised he seemed.” Sanghyuk grinned in amusement. “I guess you haven’t told many people then? Are you that shy about this whole thing? I don’t mind if you show me off sometimes.” He teased, gently bumping their shoulders together.

“Yeah, I guess the only people who really knew were my roommates, Jaeyoon, Seokwoo, and Inseong. And then I’m sure you told Zuho before we...” Hongseok stopped before he could finish. For some reason the memory made his skin crawl. 

“Yeah, he knew.” Sanghyuk said, before the silence was long enough to grow uncomfortable. 

“But now Hyunggu and Jinho know. So that’s... almost everyone I think. I’m sure Seungyeon and the others found out from Changgu by now. He’s a bit of a gossiper.” Hongseok grinned when Sanghyuk laughed at the Changgu comment. They both knew he was a sucker for gossip, but it was still amusing to point out.

As if he’d heard them laughing about him, Hongseok’s phone rang with the ringtone he’d set for Changgu.

“Oh, speak of the devil. Hang on.” Hongseok sighed and took the call. “Hey, Changgu. I’m out with Sanghyuk right now, what do you need?”

“I just wanted to tell you to hurry home! Yan An’s got good news!” His best friend yelled on the other side of the phone. He had to hold it a couple centimeters away from his ear so he wouldn’t suffer any hearing damage.

“Okay, what kind of good news?” He asked. Sanghyuk watched him with interest.

“About taking Wooyoung to court!”

Hongseok stopped mid-step, nearly making Sanghyuk trip.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He didn’t even give Changgu the chance to say goodbye before he hung up. “Sanghyuk, I gotta go. I’m sorry to ask, but are you okay with taking the bus?”

He scratched at the back of his neck, looking slightly embarrassed. “I might have accidentally left my bus pass at home and... used the last of the cash I had on me for dinner.”

“Oh.” Hongseok’s mind was running in a million different directions at the moment. “You could... I...” he blinked at him a few times, his brain busy buffering.

“Sorry about this...” Sanghyuk quickly apologized.

“No, no, it’s fine. You can... if you’re okay with not getting home soon, I can just bring you back home with me. After I talk with Changgu and Yan An I can drive you home.” Hongseok suggested.

“I don’t really know what sort of good news they have for you, but making you drive me home after we get to your place seems like a bit of a hassle. We don’t live that close to each other. Aren’t we closer to my place right now?” He pulled up the maps app on his phone to check. “Or well... I guess we’re sort of in the middle.”

“Then...” Hongseok grew nervous about what he was about to propose. “You can just stay the night, if you want.” He didn’t really believe what came out of his mouth. It made Sanghyuk go all bright eyed and bushy tailed, so Hongseok didn’t have the heart to take it back.

“I’m fine with that!”

“No... um... we’re just sleeping. Okay? Nothing more.” Hongseok stuttered, hoping the boundaries were still clear.

“Nothing until you give me the okay when you’re ready.” Sanghyuk agreed. Hongseok sighed in relief, but couldn’t give Sanghyuk a full smile.

 

 

“They... they what?” Hongseok looked between his two roommates, both of them smiling so wide it looked like their cheeks might crack.

“We have enough evidence with the cctv footage from the gym to get him arrested and imprisoned for years!” Changgu repeated. “We’ve already sent all the evidence to the police. They’re investigating further as we speak.”

“With the lawyer we have, there’s absolutely no way he can get out of it.” Yan An added.

Hongseok rested his weight against the living room wall. 

Wooyoung had been threatening him since he’d last seen him. He ended up finding his phone number and texted Hongseok daily to remind him what he would do next time he saw him. Hongseok had stopped reading them. Somehow, he’d managed to avoid him and completely given up on going to the gym. He’d even considered getting a membership to one on the other side of the city. But now, once everything came back and he was found guilty, he’d be locked up and Hongseok could live his life again.

“That’s... incredible.” He mumbled. 

“I promised we wouldn’t let anyone hurt you again after...” Yan An shot a side glance at Sanghyuk, standing in the kitchen, out of the conversation. “...Hanbin. And I’m not breaking that promise now. If he knows what’s good for him, he won’t bother you ever again.”

“No one hurts our friend and gets away with it.” Changgu nodded.

“Thank you, both of you. Thank you so much.” Hongseok told them, eyes already threatening to pour out tears. 

“Oh, c’mere.” Changgu stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. 

“Just remember, you’ll have to see him again for the trial. But that should be the last time you’ll ever have to see him.” Yan An warned. Hongseok nodded into Changgu’s shoulder.

“Don’t hold back when it’s your turn to speak. When you’re called up, you tell them every single thing he has done to you. If you have to cry, go ahead, but don’t let it keep you from telling them everything. You’ll have to hold it all in just enough to say everything you have to say.” Changgu told him, patting his back.

“Okay. I will.” Hongseok promised, already both fearing and anticipating the trial.

 

 

 

“You sure you’re okay with me sharing your bed?” Sanghyuk asked, arms wrapped around Hongseok’s waist and chin resting on his shoulder. “You still feel tense.”

Hongseok kept his eyes trained on the wall. It was hard to relax. Even when Sanghyuk was warm and his embrace was gentle. He turned his head and pressed his face into the pillow. He was worried he’d slip if he relaxed. That he’d slip up and do what he did that night, but without any alcohol in his blood.

“I don’t mind sleeping on the couch if this isn’t okay.” Sanghyuk quietly continued.

“It’s okay.” If Hongseok sent him to sleep on the couch, he’d feel like he was pushing him away. “I’m still just on edge over what Yan An and Changgu told me.”

His flinch from Sanghyuk’s leg brushing against his wasn’t convincing.

“I don’t think you’re comfortable with this yet. You won’t disappoint me or anything. I’ll go out in the living room.” He pulled his arms from around Hongseok and shifted to sit up.

“I said it’s okay, you can sleep here.” Hongseok repeated, sitting up to face him.

Sanghyuk sighed. “You say that, but you don’t look like you mean it.”

Hongseok’s face fell. 

“I’ll just bring this extra pillow and a blanket out there. The pajama pants you’re letting me borrow are thick, so I won’t get cold.” He ruffled Hongseok’s hair before climbing out of bed and grabbing the pillow he was just using.

“Sanghyuk...”

“Just be sure not to sleep in, you promised to drive me home before your morning class.” He smiled before sliding through the bedroom door and pulling it shut behind him.

Hongseok pulled his knees up to his chest. 

He really needed to get over Jinho. Soon.

 

_____________

 

“You know, out of all of our friends, you were that last one I’d expect to be having boy troubles.” Hui said, looking down at Jinho from the couch with a plate of fruit in his lap.

“Im sure you never expected me to be laying on your floor complaining about seeing the boy I’m crushing on out on a date with his boyfriend either, right?” Jinho deadpanned, limbs spread across the carpet and Deborah curled up on his stomach.

“At least Debbie loves you.” Hyojong teased.

“Oh, shut up.” Jinho stuck his tongue out at the droopy eyed man sitting next to him.

“Her love is more valuable than any man’s, you wouldn’t understand.” Hyojong mumbled, scratching her behind the ears. “It’s okay Debbie, I still love you.” Jinho could feel the rumble of her purr against his stomach.

“Do you want any of this before I unconsciously eat it all while I’m trying to help you through your early midlife crisis?” Hui asked, holding the plate low enough for the other two to reach. Jinho was content with a handful of grapes and a few apple slices. Hyojong earned a smack on the hand when he attempted to take all of the strawberries for himself. 

“It’s not a midlife crisis.” Jinho muttered before popping a grape into his mouth.

“Okay, a sexuality crisis.” Hyojong corrected. “But not just the temporary kind you get when you see a hot guy in a movie.”

“Thank you Hyojong, for clearing that up.” Jinho rolled his eyes.

“Let’s get to the point here so we can find a solution.” Hui clapped his hands together to get their attention. Even Deborah looked up at him, seeming to be listening intently. “Jinho finally realized he’s hopelessly in love with Hongseok.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration isn’t it?” Jinho asked from the floor.

“You told me you fell asleep to the sound clips you had of him singing a couple nights ago.” Hui raised an eyebrow.

“Whipped.” Hyojong whispered.

“Okay. Fine. Continue.” Jinho let it go for the sake of wanting to know what to do.

“But, Hongseok is already taken because Jinho didn’t realize quick enough that it was actually feelings and not just tequila.” Hui said, crunching on an apple slice.

“Okay now you’re just bullying me.”

“So! Now we have to figure out how to: A. Help him get over his crush, B. Help him break up the two lovebirds and make his move, or C. Help him deal with it enough to try and wait it out and hope they break up.” Hui proposed.

“I like option B.”

“Of course you do, Hyojong. Of course you do.” Jinho sighed.

“I personally believe that option is morally wrong, but from what I’ve gathered through stalking Hongseok and his boyfriend’s social media and from what Jinho’s told me, they seem a little too happy to break up any time soon on their own.” Hui admitted.

“You stalked their social media?” Jinho asked, incredulously.

“I’m the concerned dad friend. I don’t know what you expected me to do.”

“He’s got a point. He might be tiny, but he _is_ the dad friend.” Hyojong agreed.

“Nowhere in my statement did I mention my height.” Hui glared daggers at Hyojong before turning back to Jinho. “But yes, I dug through their social media. Sanghyuk is obviously happy to share his affection online, but he’s still careful. He goes by Dawon on his Instagram, which must be a nickname only his friends use. He doesn’t use his real name anywhere. That’s good as far as privacy and probably for Hongseok’s sake as well. He never uses Hongseok’s name in posts either.”

Jinho had to admit, he was sort of impressed by his friend’s detective work. 

“I doubt he’s posted about every date they’ve had, but they both seem happy in each one. I’d say Hongseok’s a bit more timid than Sanghyuk, based on his expressions. Sanghyuk’s apparently a fan of candid photos, so most of his pictures of Hongseok aren’t staged or selfies. He looks pretty at ease, so breaking them up would be hard if there isn’t any conflict happening that we don’t know about.” Hui continued.

“Wouldn’t it be more fun if it was a challenge?” Hyojong quickly clamped his mouth shut before Hui could throw the plate at his head. 

“If you choose option B. and Hongseok ever finds out, you’re done for. So, I don’t advise that option, but it is an option. I won’t actually help you if you choose that option.” Hui warned Jinho.

“I don’t think I’d have the heart to take anything away from him that makes him happy, so I don’t like option B. either.” Jinho replied.

“Whiiiiiiiiiiiipped.” Hyojong quietly announced. 

“If you’re not gonna help, go to another room.” Hui ordered with his strict parent voice. Hyojong’s shoulders shot upwards and he hunkered over to pet Deborah, pretending as if he’d never said anything. Hui sighed and focused back on Jinho. “Good, I’m glad you find it immoral as well.”

“Nah, I’d do it if I thought I could make Hongseok happier than that brat can.”

“Okay, never mind. You’re both children.” Hui groaned.

“I thought that was kind of touching.” Hyojong mumbled.

“Thank you, Hyojong.” Jinho said, patting the younger man’s leg.

“But you’re probably right. I doubt you’d be able to make him happy. Sanghyuk’s probably _way_ better at sex than you are.” Hyojong bluntly pointed out.

“I never once considered that and now I am more self conscious, thanks.” Jinho slapped where he’d just been patting the other’s thigh. Hyojong let out a yelp that made Deborah jump. 

“Now look what you two have done. You scared the cat.” Hui waved a hand in Deborah’s direction.

“Hyojong just insulted my skills in bed and all you care about is the cat. Wow.” Jinho huffed.

“As much as I just _love_ talking about your sex life or anyone else’s, do you even _know_ how to do the do with a guy?” Hui looked down at Jinho with a knowing look. 

His face turned bright red as he realized he did not, in fact, know there was really a difference. Now that he was thinking about it, it wasn’t unreasonable for there to be a difference. He just hadn’t really thought about this topic, ever.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Hui mockingly laughed. 

“Pretty sure I know more than him and I’m a virgin.”

Hui and Jinho jerked their heads around to stare at Hyojong in shock.

“You’re a virgin?” Jinho gasped. “But... you’ve dated so many people.”

“You’ve even made out with everyone we know except Jinho.” Hui said, equally surprised.

“I admit to all of that, but I just haven’t felt the need to try it. Sounds uncomfy.” Hyojong shrugged.

“Not even when you were dating than one older lady for almost two years?”

“Nope. She just thought I was cute and paid for all our meals when we went out. She was nice. She bought me some nice clothes too.” 

“Are... are you telling us...” Jinho blinked his eyes in disbelief. “That she just... paid you to go out to eat with her?”

“I mean we cuddled sometimes too.” Hyojong scratched at his chin, utterly unfazed.

“Tonight was supposed to be about helping Jinho through his boy troubles and all we accomplished is finding out Hyojong’s a virgin _and_ he was a sugar baby, I can’t fucking believe...” Hui buried his face in his hands.

 

_____________

 

Hongseok slammed the door behind him as he entered the apartment. He was in no mood to gently close any door he passed through. If he could slam the elevator doors, he would have. 

“Hey! Don’t break the door!” Changgu yelled, appearing from the hall.

Hongseok incoherently grumbled something in reply before brushing past him and slumping down onto the couch.

“Someone’s not in a good mood.” The younger said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.

“No, I’m in a great mood, can’t you tell?” Hongseok rolled his eyes, his sarcasm laced with misplaced venom.

“Okay, Mr. Grumpy Pants. You wanna talk about it?” Changgu sat down in the chair at the small table beside the couch.

“Sanghyuk is being passive aggressive about me not wanting to share a bed with him the other night.” 

“Is that why he was out on the couch when I left for class?” Changgu asked. Hongseok nodded in reply, sinking further into the cushions.

“I kept telling him it was fine, but he didn’t believe me and left to sleep on the couch. But now the asshole is acting like I made him sleep out there.” Hongseok spat. He was annoyed and heated.

“Woah there, language.” Changgu cut in. “What happened to him being an angel?”

“He kept being petty today and asking if I was uncomfortable before he did _anything_. He wouldn’t even hold my freaking hand in the car when I was trying to make up. It was obvious he was mad, but he wouldn’t say it directly so he just kept acting like a five year old with a dumb grudge.” Hongseok gave Changgu a steely glare, emphasizing how fed up he was. “He’s not an angel, he’s a child who selectively uses his manners to get what he wants.”

“Maybe he just had an off day and was taking it out on you?” Changgu offered.

“That doesn’t excuse his shitty behavior.” Hongseok mumbled, turning to glare at the blank tv instead.

“...He could just be tired of waiting for you to return his affection.” Changgu stiffened as Hongseok’s eyes burned into him at the suggestion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been dating for three weeks. Most people are comfortable with each other by now. Most people are sleeping with each other by now. Three weeks is usually when you move past the casual PG rated dates and start getting a bit more serious.” He explained. “You still won’t even sleep with Sanghyuk unless you’re drunk.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault he’s displeased with our relationship?” Hongseok hissed.

“Yes. You know why?” Changgu’s voice raised a bit in volume before he paused, waiting for Hongseok to answer. He didn’t. “Because you’re still thinking about Jinho, aren’t you?”

“So what if I am?” Hongseok retorted.

“Now you’re the one who sounds like a child. Get over him and get over yourself.” Hongseok rarely saw Changgu mad or annoyed, but he didn’t care if he was the reason for his friend’s anger at this moment. He was ticked off and if it meant having a yelling match with his roommate, so be it.

“Yeah? Well, fuck you too. I’m leaving.” Hongseok pushed himself off the couch and headed for the door.

“Oh? And where are you gonna go?” Changgu raised an eyebrow.

“That’s none of your concern. Go be happy and perfect with your boyfriend and don’t call me.” Hongseok grabbed his keys and walked back out of the front door, ignoring the furious glare Changgu was giving him. He let it slam behind him as he practically stomped down the hallway. Admittedly, he felt a bit childish, storming out like this. However, he knew if he had stayed for much longer, he’d end up punching something or someone, that someone most likely being Changgu. While he was most definitely furious, he wasn’t mad enough to punch his best friend and roommate. 

No matter how much he hated it, Changgu still wasn’t wrong. In his own defense, Hongseok had been trying his best to get over Jinho. He just wasn’t making much progress. All he’d done was keep his distance. That clearly wasn’t solving any of his problems. Everything was going well if he ignored how often he thought about Jinho when he was with Sanghyuk. Truthfully, he thought about him the most when he was making out with Sanghyuk. It was very distracting, but he couldn’t just stop and apologize for something no one else knew he was doing. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts just as he was opening his car door. It hit him that he didn’t actually know where to go. He didn’t even grab his phone that he’d dumped onto the living room table. At the very least, his wallet was still in his jacket pocket and he had whatever he permanently kept stored in his car. That meant a couple spare changes of clothes in a gym bag in his trunk, the spare inhaler Yan An recently made him keep in his glove box, a bag of granola in the pocket behind the passenger seat, and a flashlight. Hongseok plopped down into the driver’s seat and went through a list of places that weren’t closed or closing soon.

His options included: the library, a bar, a street vendor, the twenty four hour cookie place, and the gym. The gym would be too quiet. If he got frustrated or made any noise he’d be glared at. If he wanted people staring at him in anger he would’ve stayed in his apartment. A bar is probably the last place he should go while angry. He didn’t feel like getting alcohol poisoning again or spending all of his money. Feeling stingy with the meager amount of cash in his wallet also ruled out the street vendor and cookie place, so all that was left was the gym. 

 

Aggressive eight o’clock workout it is then.

 

He started up the car and pulled out of the parking space. Traffic wasn’t too heavy at this hour, so the drive didn’t take that long. The gym parking lot was a completely different story. It was more crowded than normal. Everything made sense once Hongseok remembered tonight was yoga night and nearly every nursing student on campus came for a free class. Fortunately, that meant even though it was packed, not many people will be using the equipment. They’d all be crowded into the tiny dance studio they used for the free yoga classes instead.

“Hey, haven’t seen you in a while.” Someone chirped when Hongseok signed in. 

“Been too busy to come.” He grunted, scribbling down his name on the clipboard.

“I’m gonna guess it’s been a rough night. You’re usually all smiles when you come in.” She sighed, frowning at Hongseok’s serious expression. “Don’t work yourself too hard on the equipment.”

“No promises.” He told her and headed back towards the locker room. He hesitated at the door, his last few visits here a bit too fresh in his mind. Forcing his fear to the back of his mind, he stepped inside. The only person inside was the janitor cleaning the showers. Hongseok let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

The air was cold as he slipped out of his jeans and into the pair of shorts he’d kept in his gym bag. Even with the room completely empty, save for the janitor who was out of view, Hongseok felt self conscious. He was shirtless, exposed, and defenseless. Being in the locker room at all didn’t sit well in the pit of his stomach. He dug through his bag for a tank top and hurriedly pulled it on. After throwing his bag in a locker and locking it, he exited the locker room and surveyed the equipment, deciding where to start first.

Treadmill seemed like a good start. A little bit of cardio wouldn’t hurt. Careful not to pull anything, he stretched out his ankles, legs, hips, and lower back. It was awkward running in silence since he was so used to music playing from his phone through headphones. But he wasn’t able to follow his usual routine with his phone left abandoned at home. He’d just have to make do with whatever Soyeon had playing over the speakers.

Running to warm up slowly turned into running to blow off the steam he’d built up earlier. The spread was up as high as Hongseok knew he could go. Running and running and running. The arguments still swirling around in his head only pushed him to keep going. He didn’t notice just how hard he was breathing until he started to feel light headed. He slowed the speed down to a slow walk and leaned over the controls, panting. He rested his elbows against it, then his forehead against his forearms. The small screen showed he’d been going at it for almost forty five minutes.

If he didn’t catch his breath soon, he might panic and trigger another asthma attack, which is something he really didn’t need right now. Eventually his heart decided not to beat as fast and it finally felt like enough oxygen was entering his lungs. Hongseok wiped the sweat off his forehead with the hem of his tank top, eyes starting to burn from saltiness of the sweat running down his face. Once he got his heart rate back to a reasonable pace, he turned the treadmill off with a beep and made his way to the water fountain. His mouth was so dry his throat was starting to hurt.

He already felt less frustrated, but maybe it was best to stay a bit longer. He would rather not risk the possibility of punching Changgu before the night was over.

 

_____________

 

It was already a week into April and Jinho was _struggling_. He was making decent progress on the last original song he had to compose and produce, but he was struggling to accept the fact that what he’d written was basically a pitiful love song. If he showed it to Hui, he’d never hear the last of it, especially since he was supposed to be going with plan C. and waiting it out. 

It was embarrassing.

Jo Jinho had never written a love song in his twenty four years of life.

Yet here he was, fine tuning a love song obviously aimed at a certain sports medicine student he hadn’t even talked to since he recorded said student’s voice for the third to last song on the list.

He felt like dying. Mostly because, while the song was rather mushy, it came out to be one of the best he’d completed this semester. That only made him feel even more embarrassed about it. Maybe all those song writers who draw from their own relationship experiences were actually onto something. Jinho felt bad for ever doubting them.

Violent vibrating from his phone made him jolt in his chair.

“Geez, That nearly gave me a heart attack.” He breathed, clutching his chest. He looked at the digital clock resting in the corner of his desk, wondering who would even be texting him this late on a Sunday night. He unlocked his phone, surprised at the name that popped up and the long string of messages that appeared beneath it.

 

From Hongseok:  
Changggguuuuuuuuuuu

From Hongseok:  
I tol yuu he’s an asswhole

 

Jinho snorted at the typos. Guessing by the fact that Hongseok thought he was texting Changgu, he must be drunk 

 

From Hongseok:  
*assholee

From Hongseok:  
Can u com pick me up

From Hongseok:  
I cant druve 

From Hongseok:  
M dru nk

 

Jinho’s guess was right.

 

From Hongseok:  
I at hte sreet vnr dor bbbbbbb

From Hongseok:  
Oop

From Hongseok:  
Wrong button 

From Hongseok:  
*The street vdnor 

From Hongseok:  
*GTe street vendir 

From Hongseok:  
*VENDOR

 

Jinho tried really hard not to laugh, but Hongseok’s need to spell things right even when drunk was admirable and absolutely hilarious.

 

From Hongseok:  
He one by the

From Hongseok:  
The market 

From Hongseok:  
Wih te goood bread. The styffd ones with th littli anomal faces

From Hongseok:  
*Animal

 

Out of all of the typos, he specifically needed to correct that one. Only one.

 

From Hongseok:  
Pleeeeeeeeaase;;;n;

From Hongseok:  
The lad y told. E I had to leevae 

From Hongseok:  
Leave

From Hongseok:  
But I can”t drivw 

From Hongseok:  
An I dont havr money for a taxxx xi taxi

 

Jinho felt bad for laughing when his friend was begging. Hyunggu was out with Yuto, so that left him with only one option, the bus. He pulled on a pair of pants he deemed decent enough to wear out in public and grabbed his keys and his wallet. He unlocked his phone again to let Hongseok know he was on his way.

 

From Jinho:  
I’ll come pick you up. I’ll be there soon.

From Hongseok:  
THAN KYUO

From Jinho:  
Just try to stay quiet and stay still, okay? Tell the lady I’m coming to pick you up. I’ll be a little while, but I’m on my way.

From Hongseok:  
O no thast a lot of words

From Hongseok:  
I’ll tell the lady

 

Jinho quickly locked his door and bolted down the stairs, if he could make it to the bus stop in three minutes, he might just catch it in time. He sprinted out of the lobby and down the sidewalk, frightening an old woman and her dog. He yelled back an apology and ran faster when he could see the bus turning the corner. In record time, Jinho made it to the bus stop just as the bus opened its doors. A man climbed on in front of him and swiped his bus pass while Jinho was digging his out of his wallet as quickly as he could. The driver raised an eyebrow as he swiped his card, still panting.

Luckily, there were only four other people on the bus besides Jinho, so he took a seat and tried to catch his breath so the small child sitting a few seats ahead of him would stop staring over their mother’s shoulder at him. It was starting to freak him out. His phone buzzed in his back pocket, so he pulled it out to check what Hongseok had sent this time.

 

From Hongseok:  
She said I cn stay a littrl e longer

From Hongseok:  
I had t show her my phon so she kneww I wasn ‘ lying

 

Jinho huffed out a quiet chuckle.

 

From Jinho:  
We have to take the bus back, okay? Can you ride the bus or are you sick?

From Hongseok:  
I’m not sicc I’m drink

From Hongseok:  
&drunk

From Hongseok:  
*

From Hongseok:  
I dont have money

From Jinho:  
I’ll pay for you, it’s okay

From Hongseok:  
Wow yoor so nice

From Hongseok:  
Yuo know wyoure nice lik Jinho 

From Hongseok:  
Jinho is nice

From Hongseok:  
You wer wrong but dont g. I’m still thnkingh about Jinho 

From Hongseok:  
I likJinho

From Hongseok:  
I said t

From Hongseok:  
I dony want a stop

From Hongseok:  
Oo h no

From Hongseok:  
Don’t get md

From Hongseok:  
Mad

From Hongseok:  
I stll need yuo yo pick me up

 

Jinho stared at the screen. His cheeks felt warm.

 

From Jinho:  
I’m not mad

From Hongseok:  
Oh goog good goodk 

From Hongseok:  
Im mad thought 

From Hongseok:  
I wanha hog home

From Jinho:  
I’m on the way, hang on a little longer 

From Hongseok:  
Okay a lttle lomger 

 

Nine stops passed before Jinho could see the small market on the corner. He only knew where it was since the bread was Hyunggu’s favorite. Whenever the younger came to visit before he started college and moved in with Jinho, he’d always insist Jinho take him there to buy bread. His favorite was the strawberry flavor bun with the little lamb somehow drawn on the outside. Jinho pressed the bright yellow button to request the stop. The bus driver pulled up to the corner and Jinho hopped off, thanking the driver before he started to look for the street vendor.

It was just a little bit further down the street, a large tent set up beside the food truck. The glow from the lights inside it cast shadowy shapes of people against the sides of the tent. It looked oddly busy for a Sunday night. When he approached the tent, he saw a woman with an apron carrying an armful of empty plates.

“Oh, excuse me.” He called after her. She turned around, face scrunched up as she tried to make out Jinho’s shape in the darkness. Her expression softened as he got closer and into the light cast from the street lamp behind the truck.

“Yes, dear?” She asked, setting the plates down on an empty table. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to take my friend home. He texted me saying he was told to leave, do you know where he is by any chance?” Jinho asked, showing her the text messages he’d sent him. Her mouth made a small “o” and she nodded.

“The poor boy has been moping in the far back corner for over an hour. He and his friend got into and argument and the other stormed off. It broke my heart to ask him to leave, but I need to close up soon and he doesn’t have enough money to buy any more food to make an excuse to stay.” She told him, eyes turning sad. She pointed him towards the back corner of the tent and thanked him for coming to get his friend. Jinho thanked her in return and picked his way through the few tables crowded with what he guessed were students on the school’s soccer team judging by their uniforms. He didn’t know there was a game tonight. By the way they were singing and yelling, they must have won.

When he made it to the corner, Hongseok was draped over the table with a pout settled on his lips. Five bottles of soju and a few empty plates were stacked up next to him on the part of the table he wasn’t basically laying on.

“Hey, Hongseok.” Jinho greeted as he took a seat across from his friend. Hongseok rolled his sad, droopy eyes up at him and knitted his eyebrows together. 

“You’re not Changgu.” He said simply, his pout getting a bit stronger.

“No, you texted me, see?” Jinho pointed to his phone screen and showed Hongseok the messages he sent him.

“Oh.” He shifted his head so that it was leaning against his arm. 

“The lady told me you were here with a friend? Where’d they go?” Jinho asked, feeling as if he already knew the answer.

“Sanghyuk left.” He answered, turning his sad pout into an angry pout. It was kind of cute. The way his cheeks were all rosy from the alcohol only made it more so. Jinho wanted to poke his cheeks, but stopped himself. “I yelled at him because he yelled at me and he got mad and left.”

“Why were you two yelling?” Jinho couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t seen Hongseok in person in weeks. He looked so soft. Jinho rested his elbow on the table and ran his hand through Hongseok’s hair. The younger made no attempt to move. 

“Because I’m not being a good boyfriend.” Hongseok huffed, unconsciously leaning into Jinho’s touch.

“Why do you say that? What makes you a bad boyfriend?” Jinho twirled a lock of Hongseok’s dark hair between his fingers, humming.

“I don’t love him enough.” Hongseok stated simply. “I’m too distan... distant. He thinks I’m distracted. He said distracted. But I don’t know what he meant.” Hongseok’s eyelids drooped as Jinho gently drug his fingers in circles against his scalp. “He said he’s putting... putting in all the work ‘n I got mad ‘cause he doesn’t have to do as much as he does but he does it anyway.”

A smile spread across Jinho’s face and he rested his cheek in his free hand. He shouldn’t be happy when his friend is having relationship troubles, but it gave him hope. And just being able to get this close to Hongseok again after so long had him absolutely elated.

“He keeps bring-bringing up how I won’t sleep with him now.” Hongseok nearly whined, his eyes fluttering closed from Jinho’s touch. Jinho’s smile fell at the thought of Hongseok in bed with someone else. “I think it’s because I slipped up ‘n got drunk that one date and let him fuck me.” Jinho stiffened. “I told him it was okay but I was _drunk_. I didn’t wanna but I did it ‘cause I was drunk and it was okay if I was drunk.”

“But I didn’t wanna do it again ‘cause I felt weird about it after.” He continued. Jinho’s fingers went still and Hongseok cracked an eye open to look up at him. “That felt nice. Please don’t stop.” Jinho gave in to the pitiful look on his face and did his best to keep his emotions in check, once again playing with Hongseok hair.

“Now he gets mad if I don’t like to do something even if I’m not ready. He’s mad ‘cause it’s been a month and I won’t let him stay the night and I won’t stay at his place ‘cause I’m afraid I’ll slip up again.” Hongseok sighed, closing his eyes once more.

“What do you mean you’ll slip up again?” Jinho asked, not quite following and not sure if he wants to.

“I’m afraid I’ll sleep with ‘im again.” 

“So you don’t... want to?”

“Noooooo. I want to but I’m afraid I won’t say his name.” Hongseok turned his face down to the table and shook his head. 

“I... I don’t understand what’s wrong with that. You don’t have to say his name.” Jinho stuttered, feeling the tips of his ears and his neck heat up.

“But won’t it be bad if I say Jinho?” Hongseok squished his cheek against the table, head facing the wall of the tent. Jinho couldn’t find any words to use to answer him.

“Aren’t I ‘sposed to say Sanghyuk if I’m sleeping with Sanghyuk?” Hongseok asked, voice a bit quieter this time. Jinho was too flustered to speak.

“I did really good and didn’t say any names last time, but what if I mess up and say Jinho next time?” Jinho blinked down at the ground.

“I’m really sleepy, can we go home?” Hongseok looked up at Jinho with round, glassy eyes. 

“Ye-Yeah. We can go home.” Jinho finally choked out. He pulled his hand out of Hongseok’s hair and stood up.

“I already paid the nice lady.” Hongseok yawned as Jinho helped him stand up. He gathered up Hongseok’s loose items and shoved them into his jacket pockets.

“That’s good.” Jinho bowed to the “nice lady” as they left and he guided Hongseok out of the tent. He was heavier than Jinho remembered, but it was probably dead weight. The taller was nearly falling into Jinho with every other step. 

“Are we going home?” He asked, stumbling over the sidewalk.

“Yeah, we’re going home, but we have to wait for the bus.” Jinho told him as he helped him over to the bench at the bus stop. 

“But I don’t have any more money.” Hongseok told him, looking ready to cry and Jinho helped him sit down.

“It’s okay, I’ll pay for you, remember?” Jinho remained standing in front of him, keeping watch for the bus.

“You’re so nice to me.” Hongseok looked up at him in awe. Jinho checked the time on his phone, frowning when he saw they still had ten more minutes before the bus arrived. 

“I’m just being a good friend.” Jinho said, already wincing at the words as soon as they left his mouth. Hongseok’s shoulders slumped and his pout made a reappearance.

“Stop that.” Hongseok told him, puffing out his cheeks.

“Stop what?” Jinho asked, fighting back a smile.

“Stop using ‘friend’.” The younger answered.

“Then what am I If I cant call myself your friend?” Jinho continued, feeling himself fall harder and harder for the cute, tall, drunken man sitting in front of him.

“You’re my Jinho.” Hongseok answered like it was the simplest question in the world. Jinho sputtered out a laugh.

“I’m _your_ Jinho?” He repeated, hiding his laughter with his hand. Hongseok nodded firmly.

“Mhm!” 

“But I can’t call you mine. You have Sanghyuk.” Jinho pointed out, a bit hurt that he can’t return the pet name.

“I’m not Sanghyuk’s.” Hongseok crossed his arms.

“Then who’s are you?” Jinho felt like he was crossing a line, but he had to know.

“I’m Jinho’s if Jinho liked me back.” Hongseok’s eyes fell to the ground, droopy and heartbroken again.

“Then I guess you’re mine, then.” Jinho answered with a thin smile, barely louder than a whisper. Hongseok looked up at him, his eyes round. Before either could say anything, the bus pulled up to the stop. Afraid they’d miss it, Jinho pulled Hongseok up by the arm and onto the bus. He swiped his pass and quickly fed a few bills into the slot for Hongseok, their arms looped together to keep Hongseok from falling over. The bus driver nodded and Jinho guided Hongseok back into a seat.

“Are we going home?” Hongseok whispered, eyes wide as he looked out the window.

“Yeah, we’re going home.” Jinho told him as he watched him gaze out at the passing scenery. 

“Can I go home with you?” Hongseok asked him, turning to face him. He was so close, Jinho could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. 

“With me?” Jinho pointed to himself.

Hongseok nodded. “‘Cause I’m yours.” 

Jinho felt his heart melt, right then and there.

 

_____________

 

Hongseok groaned as he slowly came to consciousness and buried his face in the nearest object. Even through his killer headache, he couldn’t help but notice how nice it smelled. Then it moved. Just barely. He opened his eyes, squinting through the pain. He could just barely make out the embroidered lettering on a sweatshirt. 

Funny, he didn’t remember going home, let alone falling asleep next to anyone. But now that he thought about it, this wasn’t his bed. It was a couch. But it wasn’t his couch. He lifted his head, just enough to look around the dimly lit room. He was at Jinho’s apartment. Why was he at Jinho’s place? Suddenly piecing the obvious together, he turned his head to see who he was just shamelessly nuzzling into a moment ago. 

_Jinho_.

His head hurt too much to panic, so he tried to calm himself down and reason it out. Worst case scenario, he drunk called Jinho and confessed again. But that wouldn’t make the fact that he’s asleep on the couch with him make any sense. He couldn’t remember much past the third bottle of soju. He could still easily recall the argument with Sanghyuk and watching him storm off, but everything after that was a little blurry. 

He should really call and apologize to Sanghyuk. It was the right thing to do, but something was tugging at his heart to stay where he was for as long as possible. So that’s what he did.

Hongseok laid his head back down on the pillow that was halfway under Jinho’s shoulder and let himself relax. He prayed that nausea wouldn’t hit him any time soon so he could lay there longer. Listening to Jinho’s shallow breaths slowly lulled him back to sleep. He couldn’t fight the heaviness of his eyelids and let the weight of sleep settle over him once more.

 

 

“Hongseok?” A voice gently asked. Someone softly shook his shoulder, attempting to wake him. He blinked open one eye to see Hyunggu smiling at him. The boy was kneeling in front of the couch, hand still resting on Hongseok’s shoulder. Jinho was nowhere to be found. “Hey, you awake?”

Hongseok was thankful Hyunggu was keeping his voice low, his headache hadn’t gone away even after sleeping a while longer. He nodded to answer Hyunggu’s question and rubbed at his eyes.

“Jinho had to go to class and asked me to to check on you.” He explained. “He told me you’d probably be hungover.” He grabbed a glass of water off the coffee table and help Hongseok sit up. He scrunched up his face and softly pushed at his stomach as it churned from the change in position. With a small nod he took the glass and gulped it down, throat so dry it felt like it was cracking. 

“I have to go to class in about an hour, but I can stay if you don’t think you’ll be okay here by yourself.” Hyunggu told him, setting the glass back down on the table for him. “And Jinho already texted Changgu about what happened, so don’t worry about him wondering where you are. Jinho said Changgu can come pick you up after his morning class is over.”

“Mm...” Hongseok pressed at the soft space between his eyes and his eyebrows, hoping to dull the pain a little. “I think I’ll be okay here.” His voice came out hoarse and gravelly. 

“If that’s the case, I should start getting ready to go soon. Do you need anything first? Medicine for your head or nausea? Or both? Something else to drink?” Hyunggu asked, leaning back on his heels. 

“All of that sounds good.” Hongseok mumbled between his hands. Hyunggu nodded and got up to retrieve all the desired items from the kitchen. He was sure the younger was trying to be as quiet as possible, but even the quiet rattling made his head hurt. The pain was really starting to make him nauseous.

“Here. The white one is for your head and the bigger green one is for your stomach. You can chew that one. The white one is one of Jinho’s migraine pills, but it’s the only thing that actually works when either of us are hungover.” Hyunggu said as he knelt back down in front of him, refilled glass in one hand and pills I’m the palm of the other.

“Thank you.” Hongseok accepted the pills and the glass and wasted no time swallowing the white one and grimacing as he chewed the other. It tasted minty, but in the toothpaste sort of way. It wasn’t terrible, but it still wasn’t very pleasant to chew. He gulped down the water to try and rid his mouth of the taste.

“No problem.” Hyunggu smiled. “Is there anything else?”

Hongseok winced as a bolt of pain shot through his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut to push it away. He could still smell the alcohol on his clothes and the waistband of his jeans was digging into his stomach from how bloated he felt. All the street food he ate and alcohol he drank clearly wasn’t his best choice.

“If it’s not too much to ask, could I borrow a change of clothes? Mine smell a little too much like soju.” He asked, hoping there’d be at least a spare pair of sweatpants he could wear. Skinny jeans weren’t ideal to sleep in and he was pretty sure his legs lost circulation while he was passed out on the couch earlier.

“Hmm. I think I have some things that might fit you. Hang on.” Hyunggu padded back towards the bedrooms in his socks. Hongseok guessed Hyunggu had abandoned slippers for the sake of his headache. A few moments passed before he came back with a large purple hoodie and a pair of black cotton pants.

“Yuto gave me these because he outgrew them a while ago and didn’t know what to do with them. They’re a bit too long for me, but they might be perfect for you. You’re welcome to keep them if they fit.” Hyunggu explained, handing him the pants. “The sweatshirt is big on me too, but it’s my favorite shirt so make sure you bring it back, okay?”

Hongseok nodded with a weak smile as Hyunggu handed him the hoodie too. “I guess I’ll go... change in the bathroom.” 

“You can just change here if you want, I can go start getting ready so you have some privacy.” Hyunggu suggested. Hongseok nodded and watched him leave the room with a cute little wave. Once he heard Hyunggu’s door softly shut, he set the clothes aside in the couch and stood up. His headache was messing with his balance, he nearly stumbled into the coffee table. Ready to do away with the tight jeans, he undid the button and unzipped them, carefully peeling each leg out of them with one hand on the arm of the couch for support. He frowned at all the red intentions left on his skin from the folds in the denim. 

He held the cotton pants up to his waist, happily surprised when they looked like they were the right size. He pulled them on and fastened the little buttons on the side. Thank goodness they fit because Hongseok had already decided they were the comfiest pants he’s ever worn. If it wasn’t for the fact his shirt still smelled terrible, he would have just curled back up on the couch. Regardless, he tugged the T-shirt off over his head and slipped the hoodie on, arms first.

“Hongseok? I just realized I left my phone out there, are you done changing?” Hyunggu asked, head poking around the corner, but with a hand covering his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m done.” Hongseok answered, lips quirking up in amusement at the childish gesture.

“Oh! They fit you so well!” He smiled big and bright as he approached the taller man. He was dressed in a bright blue zip up jacket with purple stripes down the arms and straight leg jeans, unlike the fuzzy pajama pants he’d been wearing just a few minutes earlier. “I was worried they might be too small in the waist for you.” Hyunggu patted Hongseok’s hip as he slipped past him to grab his phone off the coffee table.

“Ah, mine is probably dead...” Hongseok breathed, realizing it had been suspiciously silent even though he had an alarm set every day for seven in the morning.

“You can borrow my charger if you want.” Hyunggu offered.

“That would be nice, thanks.” 

“Oh, and nothing had moved since you were last here. If you get hungry, feel free to dig through the cabinets. We’ve got cereal and fruit. Or just crackers if your stomach isn’t doing well. I think we have some cans of ginger ale somewhere too.” 

“I’m good for now, but I might grab something later.” Hongseok eased back down onto the couch. He tried to stifle yawn that bubble up his throat. “I think I’m just gonna lay back down.” 

“Okay, if you need anything before I leave, just let me know.” Hyunggu reminded him and turned to head back to his bedroom again. Hongseok nodded with another yawn and laid back down, positioning the pillow under his head a bit better than it was last night.

He heard a click behind him as Hyunggu quietly plugged the charger into the wall and into his phone. 

“Sleep well, Hongseokkie.” He whispered before slipping back out of the room.

 

_____________

 

Jinho couldn’t focus. His teacher was droning on and on about the Dada art movement and none of it made sense. Nothing made sense except the fact that he was Hongseok’s. And if he confessed, Hongseok was his. It made him giddy. The thought of the two of them, belonging only to each other. 

It made sense.

Why Hongseok didn’t want him to date. Why he agreed to stay by his side, just as friends. It all made sense. It made Jinho’s heart flutter and break all at once. He was Hongseok’s, but Hongseok still wasn’t his as long as he was still dating Sanghyuk. It made perfect sense.

But he had a right to daydream. Fantasize about the situation. Pretend Hongseok was his when he knew it wasn’t true. He was allowed to be nonsensical like the poems the teacher was reading off the monitor, or like the collages crowded with images with no relation to one another.

So that what he did.

That daydreaming kept him in a lovestruck daze until students around him started to stand and gather their things. He watched the teacher leave and half the class file out the door one by one. He stayed seated, even when he was the only one left in the room.

He had no witnesses to see him do something silly. Something like changing Hongseok’s contact info in his phone to read “My Hongseok”. No one else had to know. And they didn’t need to know how long he’d stared at the changed contact name with a fond smile on his face. It’s not like he had class right after this. He had a forty five minute break in between, so he was safe to be a lovesick fool for a while longer.

He nearly squealed when he got a text from Hongseok.

 

From My Hongseok:  
Thanks for picking me up last night. I really appreciate it. Sorry you had to put up with drunk Hongseok.

 

Jinho’s smile stretched up to his cheekbones.

 

From Jinho:  
It’s no problem. Drunk Hongseok isn’t such a terrible guy you know.

 

He didn’t know how much he actually remembered, considering how many empty bottles were on the table beside him. He hoped it was both nothing and everything, all at the same time.

 

From My Hongseok:  
Is he? He gave me a hangover, so I can’t say he’s that great.

From Jinho:  
Are you still at my place? Changgu should be on his way soon.

From My Hongseok:  
Yeah I’m still here. Changgu hasn’t called yet, his class might have ran over.

From Jinho:  
Feeling any better?

From My Hongseok:  
I don’t feel like I have to throw up anymore, so there’s that

From Jinho:  
That’s better than nothing. Did Hyunggu get you something for your head?

From My Hongseok:  
Yeah. It’s just a dull pain now.

From Jinho:  
That’s good. 

From Jinho:  
If you’re still gonna be there a while and need anything, I’m on a small break between classes, so feel free to text me.

From My Hongseok:  
Thanks, I’ll let you know if I need help.

 

That felt like a conversation ender, so Jinho wasn’t sure what to reply with in return. He wasn’t ready to stop texting Hongseok just yet. It let him indulge a bit further into his game of pretend.

But when there was no more messages from Hongseok, he figured it was best to stop pretending. Reluctantly, he gathered his things and stuffed them into his bag. He still had thirty minutes left until his next class. Food sounded like a good option for wasting some time until he remembered he shouldn’t be buying anything since he was running low on cash at the moment. Trying to bust out song after song didn’t allow much time for the odd jobs he took throughout the school year to keep himself fed and keep up with rent. 

Fortunately, he always kept some spare snacks in his bag. So what if the muffin was a little stale? He wasn’t about to waste the money he used when he impulse bought it last week. However, Jinho quickly decided the banana nut muffin was actually really unpleasant when it was stale, but he was too stubborn and hungry to throw it away.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he was walking towards the music building, eating his muffin. He was disappointed when the message was from Hyunggu, but he opened it anyway.

 

From Spoiled Brat:  
Jinho! Guess what!

From Jinho:  
What am I guessing

From Spoiled Brat:  
I just ran into Changgu, he was about to call Hongseok and let him know he was on his way to pick him up.

From Jinho:  
What a coincidence

From Spoiled Brat:  
But that’s not the important part! He was picking up Hongseok’s birthday present!!!

From Jinho:  
Is his birthday soon?

From Spoiled Brat:  
It’s next Tuesday, same day as yours! Isn’t that incredible! :OOO

 

Jinho blinked at his phone screen in disbelief. 

 

From Jinho:  
Okay, THAT is a coincidence holy shit

From Spoiled Brat:  
I suggested we have a big party for him next weekend, but Changgu said Hongseok doesn’t like having bday parties :(((( 

From Jinho:  
Huh, I wonder why? He doesn’t seem like an anti party kinda guy

From Spoiled Brat:  
Apparently the last one he had went really bad D: 

From Spoiled Brat:  
Changgu wouldn’t tell me what happened

From Jinho:  
Hm weird. Guess it was really bad.

From Spoiled Brat:  
But we should still get him something! You know what he likes better than I do

From Jinho:  
I’d suggest a nice big non stick frying pan, but I don’t have that kinda money right now even if I only covered half the price

From Spoiled Brat:  
If I didn’t know Hongseokkie better, I’d say that sounds more like a wedding gift...

From Spoiled Brat:  
But I can cover it. I get paid for those dance lessons I gave last week soon.

From Jinho:  
You sure? I could probably think of something else

From Spoiled Brat:  
No I like that idea best. I’m paying :P 

From Jinho:  
Fine, but don’t cry when you see the price tag

From Spoiled Brat:  
Now I’m afraid

From Jinho:  
Gotta get to class bye

 

Jinho shoved his phone back in his pocket so he’d have a free hand to open the door to the music building. He threw his empty muffin wrapper in the closest trash can and headed for the stairs.

Hongseok didn’t seem the type to dislike birthday parties since he prepared so much for Changgu’s and even helped Jinho cook for Hyunggu’s when they first met. Whatever happened must have made birthday parties feel jinxed to him, or just served as a terrible reminder of something. The idea of Hongseok just sitting at home or going out alone on his birthday didn’t please Jinho either.

He wasn’t going to let Hongseok spend their birthday alone.

 

_____________

 

It took the next week for Hongseok to make up with Sanghyuk after the argument at the street vendor. It took more talking, more begging, more compromising, and more promises than he wanted to make. But he did it. Partially because he didn’t actually hate being with Sanghyuk and partially because Changgu was breathing down his neck about it.

Neither of them had much time to spare for each other over the weekend, but Hongseok put in a lot of effort to make up for it if it meant everything was fixed. He kissed Sanghyuk until they were both breathless in the back seat of his car Saturday night, and showered him in affection for the hour he was able to see him on Sunday. He thought everything was back to normal.

 

But he should have known, he still had one more compromise to make.

 

“Let me take you out to lunch on Tuesday.” Sanghyuk demanded. “It’s your birthday.”

“Sanghyuk, it’s not that big of a deal. Besides, I’m busy Tuesday. I have class from nine in the morning until two in the afternoon which close to when my shift at the daycare starts and I don’t get off until six.” Hongseok sighed. He didn’t like it when people made a fuss over his birthday. 

“Then what about after six? We could go see a movie, or maybe we could grab dinner-“

“I have dinner plans with a friend at eight thirty.” Hongseok cut him off. Truthfully, he was still on the fence about those plans. Jinho had invited him over for Tuesday night dinner earlier today claiming he really wanted this specific thing for dinner but could only buy bulk ingredients for it. The fact that he didn’t have time to cook that specific thing until Tuesday seemed too suspicious to be a coincidence, but Hongseok still needed to return Hyunggu’s hoodie and he didn’t know when he’d have another chance to give it back.

“So dinner isn’t an option then.” Sanghyuk frowned, clearly disappointed. “Who’s this ‘friend’ you’re eating dinner with then?”

“Jinho, you met him at Changgu’s party.” Hongseok answered quickly, hoping he could change the topic before Sanghyuk could continue. He wasn’t quick enough.

“Jinho? Isn’t he the reason everything was going downhill for you? You really want to spend your birthday with him?” Sanghyuk scoffed.

Hongseok squared his jaw. 

“So life has been rough on me thanks to a mistake we made, but he’s still one of my best friends, why wouldn’t I want to spend my birthday with him?” Hongseok asked, already feeling anger boiling in the pit of his stomach.

“Changgu is one of your best friends too, but you didn’t mention having dinner with him on Tuesday.” Sanghyuk looked less and less amused as the conversation continued.

“Because our class schedules don’t line up to even see each other on Tuesdays. We have plans for Monday night instead.” Hongseok replied dryly.

“So everyone is allowed to have birthday plans with you but me?” Sanghyuk grumbled. Hongseok sighed. The younger was acting like a child, it was making him want to take back all the kisses he’d given him. But that was probably a childish thing to think. 

“Sanghyuk, I don’t want to argue with you. We just worked out our last one.” Hongseok groaned.

“You have time between your shift ending and your dinner plans. Just let me come over to see you. We can just lay on the couch and do nothing if that’s what you want.” Sanghyuk reasoned. 

Hongseok knew if he said no to the request, he’d end things like they ended them a week ago. He was too emotionally tired to deal with that again. He sighed again and gave in.

“Fine. But I’m not picking you up or driving you home.”

 

 

When Tuesday came, Hongseok tried his best to stay positive. He ignored the flood of birthday messages, discount emails, and notifications. He narrowly evaded Changgu’s death grip hug this morning before they both left for class. He even got to his first class just before the teacher arrived. Things seemed to be going well.

 

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for him that day.

 

He got stuck in the rain on the way to his second class, ruining a majority of his notes and just barely sparing his phone. 

There was a surprise quiz in his pharmaceutical elective class.

Traffic made him thirty minutes late for his shift.

And worst of all, he had to deal with one of the snippy tiger moms that had complaints about the daycare’s quality of service. He sat through the woman yelling at him over her son coming home with useless interests and saying he wants to be an artist when he grows up instead of a prosecutor like she wants him to be. Hongseok had nothing to do with any of that. Those were all things that naturally occurred at the child’s age when he’s around other kids from a wide variety of backgrounds. It would happen at any daycare that didn’t treat the children like inmates in a prison.

 

Needless to say, it took some serious self pep talks to prepare himself for Sanghyuk’s company. 

Trying to calm his nerves, he changed into a clean pair of joggers and a soft gray sweatshirt. Moving back to the kitchen, he turned on the hot water kettle, hoping to make a cup of tea. Comfy clothes and a warm beverage we’re always good options. He lifted himself onto the counter as he waited, checking his phone. No messages. 

That was all he had to check for besides emails. He’d deleted all his social media apps except for Instagram, just because Sanghyuk insisted, so he never got any notifications anymore. He turned them off. The whole video situation made the idea of social media leave a sour taste in his mouth. He deleted all his accounts and changed his username on Instagram and adjusted the privacy settings just to be safe.

It was kind of nice. Not being online all the time. Not staring at a phone screen until his eyes hurt. He couldn’t say he really missed it. Especially considering all the ugly comments he kept getting. It was better to just get rid of anything he could.

A knock on the door kicked him out of his thoughts. Hongseok hopped off the counter and padded over to the door in his slippers. Sanghyuk appeared on the other side with a smile as he pulled it open. All he could do was let him in and try to smile back.

“Sorry I’m a little late.” Sanghyuk said, giving Hongseok’s cheek a quick peck as he moved inside to take off his shoes.

“It’s fine.” Hongseok answered back. He shut the door and went back into the kitchen, hearing the electric kettle beep. Sanghyuk trailed in after him, socks skidding across the wood floor. “Do you want some tea?” Hongseok asked him, without turning around.

“Mm, that would be nice.” He said with a hum, coming up behind Hongseok to wrap his arms around his waist and rest his chin on Hongseok’s shoulder. Fortunately, they kept mugs hanging by the handle on a little rack along the wall, so he didn’t have to move far to get one for each of them. 

“What kind do you want? All we have is some herbal teas and green tea.” Hongseok shifted to the left a bit to reach the cabinet above his head.

“Green tea is fine.” Hongseok nodded and grabbed a sachet of green tea and one of the honeysuckle and lavender herbal tea and dropped them in their mugs. Carefully, he poured the hot water over them until the water reached just below the rim.

“Do you take sugar or honey in your tea?” 

“Sugar, about a small spoonful.”

Hongseok dipped a teaspoon into the small jar of sugar under the mugs and unceremoniously dumped it into Sanghyuk’s tea. He raised the mug to Sanghyuk, hoping he’d take it and remove his arms from around his waist.

“Thank you.” He backed up a few steps after accepting the mug. Hongseok turned to lean against the counter, mug held in both hands.

“How’s your day been so far?” Sanghyuk asked, blowing on the tea to cool it down enough to drink. It was an innocent question, but Hongseok couldn’t give a happy answer. He recounted his day to Sanghyuk with as little bitterness as he could manage. His voice just came out tired, probably not much different from how he looked. Sanghyuk’s face fell with each unfortunate addition to the story.

“Ah geez, I’m sorry your day has sucked so bad.” He said, running a nervous hand over his neck. “I didn’t expect your luck to be this bad on your birthday.”

“It’s like this every year.” Hongseok stated before taking a sip from his mug. “But at least I’m smart enough not to get drunk on a weekday this year.”

“I take it you did that last year?” Sanghukdrummed his fingers on the side of his mug.

“Last few years.” Hongseok stared at the floor. “It usually didn’t end well.”

“Ah.”

The conversation ended like that. Both of them avoiding the other’s eyes in silence. The occasional cling of the mug. They stayed that way until Hongseok found it almost comforting.

He took a moment to watch Sanghyuk, peering into his cup after each sip. He was dressed comfortably, not too differently from Hongseok. Track pants, miss matched yellow and blue socks, a baggy T-shirt with a soft red flannel on top. Something about it made Hongseok’s heart beat a bit faster. 

“I know you’re just in casual clothes, but you look nice tonight.” He told him, breaking the silence. Sanghyuk lifted his eyes from the mug. They were round and playful, a smile threatening the corners of his mouth.

“Yeah? You think so?” He asked.

“Mm.” Hongseok hummed. Sanghyuk gave him a quick once over in return.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” Sanghyuk smiled down at his mug.

“Yeah?” Hongseok sat his mug down on the counter beside him.

“Yeah.” Sanghyuk answered.

“Then why don’t you say it to my face instead of your mug?” Hongseok felt a thin smile stretch over his face. Sanghyuk looked back up at him, his playful smile still in place. He sat his mug down and took a couple steps forward until their faces were just inches apart.

“You look good tonight, Hongseok.” He breathed. Hongseok met his eyes through his long lashes, lips slightly parted. Sanghyuk’s gaze slowly traveled down Hongseok’s face. His hand came up to brush his knuckles against Hongseok’s cheek. The older didn’t pull away as Sanghyuk leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Hongseok blinked down at Sanghyuk’s mouth a few times when he pulled back.

Then, he tilted his head and kissed him deeper.

Hongseok’s hands latched onto the edges of his flannel, tugging him closer. He tasted sweet. And Hongseok had a sweet tooth he wouldn’t admit to. He let his eyes flutter closed and pressed his hands against Sanghyuk’s back, stretching his fingers over the fabric bunching between them.

Lips brushed past each other as their breaths mingled. Sanghyuk cupped Hongseok’s cheeks in his hands, rubbing his thumb over the bone he could feel just below the skin. He felt a shudder roll down his spine. The gesture was so familiar, comforting. But the memory didn’t match the face.

Sanghyuk pressed further until Hongseok felt dizzy from lack of air. The younger moved across his cheek and down to his jaw as he gasped for air, a hand tangling in Sanghyuk’s dark, curly locks. Out of reflex, Hongseok lifted his leg, pressing it between Sanghyuk’s thighs. He felt the other’s breath hitch against his neck.

“Is this the okay?” He exhaled in a hot breath of air just behind Hongseok’s ear. He nodded, their cheeks brushing and the dark curls tickling his nape. Warm hands felt their way up Hongseok’s back, trailing over his ribs and stopping just below his shoulder blades. He felt himself burn under their touch, thinking of how much he wanted a pair of hands on his skin like this, for how long, and by who. Once again, the fantasy didn’t match the face.

Lips pressed against the shell of his ear in a gentle kiss before moving back to his throat, leaving a trail of faint marks that would bruise by morning in their wake. Hongseok already felt the syllables threatening to fall off his tongue. He gritted his teeth and bit back a whimper trying to hold them in the deepest part of his throat. 

A gasp slipped between his teeth with a roll of Sanghyuk’s hips, earning a smile pressed against his skin. He turned his head and pulled Sanghyuk’s face back up by the chin to meet his. The face didn’t match the desire, but was he really allowed to be so picky? Their lips crashed together in a war of tongue and teeth. Sanghyuk’s hands tenderly brushed down Hongseok’s sides, making him press his body closer. Hongseok now had both hands tangled in Sanghyuk’s hair, tugging lightly on the strands between his fingers. One tug caused a low groan from the younger.

Those gentle hands left his side to crawl up his toned stomach which was tended in anticipation. Fingers traced every dip and crevice before finding their way back down to play at the waistband of Hongseok’s joggers. One was experimentally dipped behind the elastic, either going unnoticed or welcomed by the older. Then two, then three. Hongseok was lost in the kiss and the thought of some one else’s hands roaming his body.

Sudden panic swallowed him as a hand slipped under the waistband of his boxers. He couldn’t stop the instinctual bite nor the pair of hands that shot up to push Sanghyuk away, sending him back into the fridge with a thud.

“Ow, _fuck_.” Sanghyuk gasped, hand rubbing at the vertebrae that had connected with the stainless steel. Hongseok stared wide eyed down at the kitchen floor, chest rising and falling in a ragged pattern and hands clenched around the counter.

“What the hell was that about?!” Sanghyuk asked, surprised, in pain, and unsure whether to be angry. He stared at Hongseok in disbelief. “You gave me the okay!”

“Get out.” Hongseok mumbled, still struggling to catch his breath.

“What? I can’t hear what you just said.” Sanghyuk took a step forward extending a hand. Hongseok raised a hand in return to warn him not to get any closer.

“Get out.” He repeated, a bit louder than before.

“...what?” Sanghyuk lowered his arm, staring at Hongseok in shock.

“I said, _get out of my apartment_!” He yelled. Sanghyuk flinched. Hongseok lifted his head, eyes glassy with tears threatening to spill. “We’re done. I don’t want to see you again.”

“Hongseok I don-“

“Just get your things and _GO_!” He gritted his teeth as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Sanghyuk took a couple steps back, then a couple more, before grabbing his things off the counter, stepping into his shoes and wrapping his hand around the door knob. He looked back up at Hongseok, expression sad, confused, and frustrated.

“ _GET OUT!_ ” Hongseok shouted, sending Sanghyuk scrambling out the door. He sunk down onto the floor as soon as the door slammed shut behind Sanghyuk, burying his face in his sleeve. 

“Dammit!” He hissed to himself, already hating every word he’d said. A sob wracked his rib cage and was followed by many more that left his throat sore and burning. Hongseok folded his knees up to his chest. He cried until everything looked foggy and his eyes stung. Until there wasn’t any tears left to choke out. Until he fell silent and numb, with his cheek resting against his knee cap.

The two mugs of tea were left to turn cold, abandoned on the counter.

“Why couldn’t you just get over Jinho?” He asked himself in a whisper. “Why do you still want to see him? After all of this?” 

He heard his phone buzz on the counter. Most likely another message including some for, of “happy birthday”.

He didn’t want to see it.

Birthdays weren’t happy.

Not for Hongseok.

 

_____________

 

Jinho patted himself on the back. Everything looked great so far. Nothing had burned, nothing was spoiled, and the cake had cooled and was ready to decorate.

He’d panicked just thirty minutes before when Hongseok had sent him a message. 

“I don’t think I’m going to make it tonight” was what he’d sent. 

Jinho wasn’t going to let him flake out without good reason.

 

From Jinho:  
You okay? Did something come up?

 

The thought of Hongseok alone and the food going to waste pulled the corners of his mouth into a frown.

 

From My Hongseok:  
I got into a really bad argument with Sanghyuk

 

Jinho’s blood boiled at the name. Some boyfriend he’s turning out to be, arguing with Hongseok on his birthday. Jinho wanted to punch the guy right in the jaw.

 

From My Hongseok:  
I don’t... I don’t think I’m going to see him anymore

 

...not see him anymore?

 

From Jinho:  
Did he break up with you?”

 

On his birthday? What a _jerk_.

 

From My Hongseok:  
No 

From My Hongseok:  
I told him. 

From My Hongseok:  
I said we’re done and told him to leave.

 

_Oh._

 

From Jinho:  
I’m... sorry. I’m not sure what to say

From My Hongseok:  
It’s okay. I don’t really know what to say either

From Jinho:  
But, I can’t just let you sit at home upset

From Jinho:  
It’s your birthday? Right?

From My Hongseok:  
Birthdays aren’t my thing and I just really don’t feel like company right now

From Jinho:  
Come over.

From My Hongseok:  
Jinho, I just said I don’t really feel like it.

From Jinho:  
Come over so I know you won’t be alone and so I know that you aren’t skipping meals

From Jinho:  
Your day has been terrible enough, let me try to make it a little better

 

The delay of Hongseok’s reply had left Jinho afraid he wasn’t going to reply at all.

 

From My Hongseok:  
Okay

From My Hongseok:  
But I’m not going to be great company

From My Hongseok:  
And I just don’t want to talk about any of this

From Jinho:  
That’s fine. Just stay safe getting here, Okay?

From My Hongseok:  
I will. See you soon.

 

It took more than a few deep breaths and a small break for Jinho to recover. 

Something about Hongseok being the one to break up with Sanghyuk made him grin when he knew he shouldn’t. Maybe plan C was working. Maybe the wait, though shorter than expected, was worth it. Maybe things were going to work out. He’d tried his best not to get his hopes up too high, just in case.

It didn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat when he heard a knock at the door. 

He was thankful Hyunggu wasn’t home to see him practically skip to the door and nearly slip. He cracked the door open and got a feeble wave from Hongseok. The wet hair and faint pink rimming his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Jinho, but he chose not to say anything and welcomed him in with a smile. 

“Dinner will be ready in just a couple minutes, go get comfy in the living room and I’ll bring it out.” Jinho told him, giving him a light pat on the back that lingered a little too long. Hongseok’s sweater was soft under his palm. He hated to pull his hand away.

“Thanks.” Hongseok said, his voice a bit scratchy. “Oh, and I brought Hyunggu’s hoodie back.” He held up the purple hooded sweatshirt in his hands.

“I can go drop it off in his room for you, no worries.” Jinho took the garment and led Hongseok into the living room.

“The music you have playing is nice.” Hongseok hummed softly before taking a seat on the carpet beside the coffee table. Jinho smiled, feeling proud of his playlist. It was just quiet, mellow indie music, but it was calm enough for background music for a nice dinner.

“Thanks. I just have it playing through the speakers from my phone, so if you want to skip a song or something just let me know.” He answered before quickly running the hoodie back to Hyunggu’s room. He plopped it on the bed and hurried back to the kitchen before anything burned.

“What did you cook? It smells nice.” Hongseok called out.

“Roast beef.” Jinho yelled in reply from the kitchen. He carved the roast into thin slices and piled them on a platter. He poured the leftover juice and sprigs of rosemary floating in the pan over the meat and sprinkled it with a pinch of black pepper. He spooned the crispy green beans into a deep bowl and the roasted potatoes into another. Just to be safe, he packed some fresh cooked rice into two small bowls to bring out as well. 

Jinho brought out plates and silverware and placed them on either side of the coffee table. Hongseok looked up at him with a conflicted expression.

“Jinho, are you sure you’re okay with me eating this? A whole roast is expensive.” He asked, hands playing with the hem of his black cotton pants. The ones Hyunggu had given him.

“It’s fine, I’m treating myself. It’s a special day for me and it’s your birthday. Think of this meal as your present.” Jinho reassured him. “What do you want to drink? We have water as usual and a bottle of cider that we haven’t opened yet. Before you feel bad about drinking the cider, it was a gift from Hui.”

“I guess I’ll drink the cider. Thank you.” Hongseok answered, looking slightly defeated. Jinho just smiled and returned to the kitchen to pour them both a glass. He sat them on the table with a clink and went to finally bring out the food. Hongseok’s eyes widened at the sight of all torn it. Jinho flipped the light off in the kitchen and took a seat at the other end of the coffee table. 

“Jinho, this looks amazing.” He breathed. Jinho placed a few pieces of roast beef on Hongseok’s plate. He looked up at him, eyebrows pinched together.

“Dig in. Eat as much as you want and don’t feel bad about it.” Hongseok nodded in reply, eyes looking a bit watery. He piled a good helping of potatoes and green beans onto his plate. Jinho waited until he was done to put any on his own. Silverware clinked against the plate as Hongseok cut into the roast and took a bite.

“How is it?” Jinho asked, knowing it was juicy and tender from the test bite he took before Hongseok arrived. The younger didn’t look up, but nodded his head. Jinho caught the slight quiver of his lip. Hongseok sniffled and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, taking another bite.

“Take your time. You’ve had a rough night.” Jinho told him, voice soft.

“It’s really good.” Hongseok eventually mumbled around a bite of roast beef, his voice cracking.

“That’s good to hear. Do you need anything else?” Jinho was doing his best to be gentle, knowing asking certain questions would cause more than the occasional sniffle from Hongseok. But it didn’t seem like there was a right choice for words. Hongseok bit his lip, eyes scrunched shut. He shook his head. Then, he couldn’t hold the tears back any longer and a hiccup bubbled up out of his thought as they fell down his face.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay.” Jinho cooed, crawling over to the other side of the table and pulling Hongseok into a hug. The younger wrapped his arms around Jinho without protest and sobbed into the crook of his neck. Jinho pressed his cheek against Hongseok’s damp hair and rubbed a hand up and down his back. 

“I’m sorry.” Hongseok hiccuped against Jinho’s shoulder. “Th-the food is-is gonna get cold.” His hands gripped onto Jinho even tighter.

“It’s okay. Let it out. We can always reheat the food.” He told him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

 

The food didn’t taste any less delicious after a quick moment in the microwave, just as Jinho had hoped. Hongseok finished his meal quietly, too worn out to carry on a conversation. Jinho didn’t blame him. His cheeks were still a bit blotchy from crying, but he seemed better now that he’d done so.

“I have one more thing. Do you have room for desert?” Jinho asked as he stood up to collect their plates. Hongseok looked up at him with round eyes that flitted towards the kitchen and back to meet his. 

“I still have to finish it though, so you just wait here a moment, okay?” Jinho smiled and headed back towards the kitchen. He set the dishes in the sink and after another trip, packed the leftovers in containers and placed them in the fridge. Before closing it, he grabbed the strawberries and whipped cream. 

He still wasn’t sure how he’d managed to succeed, but he baked an angel food cake just for today. Jinho wasn’t much of a baker, but he decided he was going to change that for his and Hongseok’s birthday. He made a ring around the top and bottom edge of the small cake with little blobs of whipped cream and placed a strawberry between each one. After he stuck the last one on, he dug around in the drawer for the small tube of icing he’d bought to write out the message on the top. He did his best, though the writing wasn’t perfectly centered. He poked a few candles around the top edge and grabbed two more plates and forks.

As not to give away the surprise, he brought out the dishes first. When he brought out the cake and placed it on the table, candles glowing with tiny flames, Hongseok stared at it in silence. 

“It’s...” he started, voice failing him. His eyes were glued to the writing on the cake. 

_Happy Birthday Hongseok + Jinho._

“Do you want to make a wish together?” Jinho smiled softly, taking hold of Hongseok’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. Hongseok drew his lips in between his teeth and nodded, eyebrows knitting together again.

They were quiet for a moment, then Jinho asked Hongseok if he’d made his wish. He nodded. Omg the count of three, they blew out the little flames on the candles. Hongseok covered his mouth with his hand to hide how he was biting back another round of tears.

“Happy Birthday, Hongseok.” Jinho said quietly, running his thumb over Hongseok’s knuckles.

“Happy birthday, Jinho.” He choked out in return.

Jinho cut a small piece and put it on the plate sitting in front of Hongseok, then did the same for himself. Hongseok took a deep inhale as he collected himself. He wiped away the tears that didn’t get the chance to actually fall and gave Jinho the best smile he could manage. Jinho gave Hongseok’s hand a little shake as he grinned back.

“Thank you.” Hongseok looked down at where heir fingers were intertwined. “For all of this.”

“After the day you had, you definitely deserved it.” 

Hongseok was the one to pull him into a hug this time, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“And thank you too.” Jinho hummed, arms wrapped around Hongseok’s waist.

“What for?”

“For spending our birthday together with me.” 

Hongseok buried his face deeper into Jinho’s neck.

“You know,” Jinho started once more. “That night I brought you home from the street vendor?”

Hongseok nodded, uncertainty creeping up the back of his neck.

“I was really surprised. You thought you were texting Changgu.” Jinho leaned his head against Hongseok. “You told me you couldn’t drive because you were drunk and sad. When I asked why, you said it was because you had an argument with Sanghyuk. I got really mad. I didn’t understand why he’d storm of like that if you two were dating.”

Hongseok quietly listened as Jinho went on, fingers tracing the seam around his sleeve.

“So I went to get you. I had to take the bus, but I went anyway. You look so sad, all alone in the back corner. It hurt me to see you like that. It hurts me to see you cry over Sanghyuk in general. I don’t think he’s worth your tears. I never liked him, you know. You told me what you two argued about and it made me hate him even more. I thought then that he didn’t deserve you.” 

“Jinho...” Hongseok mumbled as a soft warning.

“I know, I’m not going to mention him much more.” He answered. “I was just so worried he wasn’t making you happy. That your side was all compromise and no mutual affection. I was worried that it wasn’t a good relationship and that it was just going to hurt you. And you told me all of that stuff, like you had nothing to hide. Like before everything went wrong.” 

Hongseok took a long shaky breath.

“I’ve thought a lot since then. I realized I had a lot to figure out and I wasn’t treating you like I should have. You meant so much to me, but I didn’t fully realize just _how_ much. But I know now. I was so, so wrong. Everything flipped upside down after I met you. The more you distanced yourself from me, the more I blamed myself and really thought about why.”

Jinho buried his face in Hongseok’s hair. The smell of his shampoo filling his nostrils and making him feel almost drunk from how close they were.

“When we were waiting for the bus that night I took you home, you told me not to call myself your friend.”

He had no idea where his spurt of confidence was coming from to say any of this, but he was afraid if he didn’t say it now, he never would.

“I asked you what you wanted me to say instead. Asked what I was to you. I couldn’t believe it when you told me I was yours. My Jinho. That’s what you said. I don’t think you knew how happy that made me.”

Hongseok pulled back, locking eyes with Jinho. His eyes searched his face in confusion.

“What are you...?” He mumbled.

“I said that wasn’t fair. Because I couldn’t call you mine. You were Sanghyuk’s, so I couldn’t.” Jinho felt his eyes start to burn. He didn’t know he’d start getting this emotional. “And you said... you said that you were mine if I liked you. That you weren’t Sanghyuk’s.”

Hongseok stayed silent, but brushed his thumb over Jinho’s cheek to wipe away a tear.

“So I told you that I guessed you were mine. And when you asked to go home with me I didn’t have the heart to say no. When I asked why, you said it was because you were mine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any words that have made me happier.” Jinho smiled, tears spilling out. 

“But...you... you don’t like...” Hongseok stumbled over his words.

“I like you, Hongseok. I really fucking like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone and I didn’t notice until it was too late, but I like you so much my heart aches when I see you upset and it beats really fast every time I get to see your face.” Jinho sputtered. “I was so stupid and so sure I liked girls. That’s how it was supposed to be. I’d always been told I’d grow up and meet a nice girl and get married, but my family had it all wrong. I don’t like girls. I don’t think I’ve ever liked girls. I just pretended I did for so long that I forgot I didn’t. I was so dumb. But I met you and suddenly nothing made sense and the idea of dating a girl didn’t fix anything. And seeing you with Sanghyuk made me feel so hollow inside and I couldn’t sleep worrying and wondering if he was treating you well. Every time I heard you argued with him I wanted to go tear him to shreds for not giving you everything you deserved. I’m so sorry you suffered all this time because of me. I don’t deserve to have someone like you in my life, but I never want you to leave.” 

Jinho got too choked up to continue, so he just held tightly onto Hongseok’s hands as the younger took it all in.

“You... like me? You like me back?” Hongseok said slowly, still not believing the word he’d heard. 

Jinho nodded and wiped away his tears. “So much it hurts.”

“So... when I kissed you, at the party, and you kissed me back...”

“Because I wanted to kiss you back, I didn’t understand why, but I didn’t stop.” Jinho explained.

“I... Jinho- God. I don’t even know what to say.” Hongseok laughed, more nervously than anything.

“You told me I was yours. And you’re mine, if you want to be.” Jinho breathed, confidence fading away as he grew uncertain.

Hongseok blinked up at him. 

“I want to be yours.” He smiled and pulled Jinho back into his arms. “That’s all I’ve wanted.”

“Then I guess you’re my birthday present?” Jinho chuckled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes again.

 

“Happy birthday, Jinho.”

 

“Happy birthday, Hongseok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took 10 chapters but Jinho finally did it. 
> 
> And this is not the end! I refuse to stop! Writing! About! The! Soft! Boyfriends! Or soon to be soft boyfriends.
> 
> Thank you all so much as always for your support and your patience.
> 
> If you ever want to come scream at me about Pentagon, Hongseok, ~~cute girls~~ , or AUs, you can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).
> 
> I don’t have everything 100% planned for next chapter, so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update next.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and hits are all appreciated!<3


	11. Working Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is finally coming together for these two lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was having trouble writing, but I managed to scrap together a filler chapter on the days I wasn’t suffering as much to tie up some loose ends and get the story rolling again.
> 
> And Shinwon finally makes an appearance! Our lovable dork gets to have some spotlight after 10 chapters. (Sorry  
> Shinwon I love you I didn’t mean to put off writing you in for this long)
> 
> I tried to look over it multiple times, but it’s hard to catch every mistake when your mouth hurts, so let me know if you catch any errors!

Contented sighs filled the room as the two lay tangled together on the couch, stomachs full and limbs heavy. Jinho ran his fingers over the soft knit of Hongseok’s sweater as they remained in a happy silence. Hongseok ran his long fingers through Jinho’s rusty colored hair. 

It was nice. Comfortable. Just as it was before, but now it was even better.

Hongseok chewed on his lower lip, a thought from the back of his mind suddenly eating at him. He readjusted, resting his chin on the crown of Jinho’s head that was resting against the space between his chest and shoulder. Jinho smiled a soft, lazy smile at the action.

“Jinho?” Hongseok started, voice low from being silent for so long.

Jinho hummed to show he was listening.

“I want this. I really want this. For there to be an us. Just you and me.” He paused to inhale deeply, gathering the words in his head. “But I can’t just dive right into this either.”

Jinho quietly took in Hongseok’s words.

“I know if we go too fast, it could turn out badly. But I know if we go too slow, we’ll get frustrated. This is all gonna be really new to you, I’m sure. And I’m...”

Jinho craned his neck to stare up at Hongseok’s face. “Go on. I’m listening, promise.” Hongseok nodded and took another deep breath.

“It’s only been hours since I ended things with Sanghyuk. I know jumping into another relationship the same day as a breakup doesn’t look good or work out too well. It’s like... I’m just really vulnerable right now. I want to make sure I’m approaching everything with a clear head before I make any big decisions.” He admitted. No matter how much he wanted this, he wasn’t willing to lose it by being too eager.

“I understand that. What should we do?” Jinho replied.

“I guess... give me a week or so. I want to make sure everything else is settled before I jump into something new. Once I get it all sorted out with Sanghyuk and make sure half my friend group doesn’t hate me for breaking his heart, I’ll be ready.” Hongseok smiled down at Jinho.

“Yeah, I’d rather your friends not hate you.” Jinho chuckled.

“But I want to take things slow, okay?” Hongseok told him. “Like I said, a lot of this is going to be really new for you. If we rush through too many steps all at once you might get overwhelmed or I might get overwhelmed. Plus, you’ll hate me for bringing it up, but finals are soon and so are all your senior assignments. I don’t want our grades to suffer just because we’re happily distracted.” At that, Jinho groaned.

“I really don’t want to think about school there’s still an hour left of our birthday, don’t ruin it by talking about assignments and finals.”

Hongseok laughed softly. “Okay, I won’t talk about school. But are you okay with everything I suggested?”

“I trust you. I think that sounds like the best plan as well.” Jinho answered, finding Hongseok’s hand and knitting their fingers together. “But what are we until everything is sorted out? I don’t want to accidentally cross any boundaries before they’re even made.” His eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“I guess...” Hongseok looked like he was holding back a fit of laughter. “Ironically, we’re still just friends.” Jinho lightly punched Hongseok in the chest with their intertwined hands.

“Oh, so you’re allowed to say ‘friends’ but I’m not?” Jinho teased. Hongseok smiled wide enough to make his nose scrunch up.

“Only temporarily.” He pointed out.

“Okay, but on one condition.” Jinho said, eyes narrowing.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Hongseok raised an eyebrow.

“Once everything’s settled, you have to change my name in your phone.”

Hongseok blinked at him in amusement. “And what do I have to change it to?”

“My Jinho.” The older scrunched up his face in an embarrassed grin at his own reply. Hongseok sputtered with laughter and pushed Jinho’s face away, cheeks flushed. They couldn’t help but laugh at each other.

A loud commotion from the front door made them both jump. Jinho squeaked and flailed, accidentally pushing Hongseok off the couch and sent him tumbling onto the carpet.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINHO!” Hyunggu yelled strolling into the living room with Yuto and a gift bag in tow. They both froze at Jinho’s shocked expression and the unexpected guest laying stunned on the carpet.

“Hongseok?” Hyunggu blinked at him in confusion. “What are you doing here? And why are you on the floor?”

Jinho’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t bothered to share his birthday dinner plans with Hyunggu, thinking he’d be out for the night. Yet here his roommate was, standing in the doorway with his boyfriend looking incredibly flustered and confused behind him.

“He...” Jinho started, shooting pleading glances in Hongseok’s direction. Fortunately, he got the message.

“You scared us! That’s why I’m on the floor.” Hongseok quickly explained. Stalling to answer the first question until he thought of something.

“But... I thought you didn’t like company on your birthday?” Hyunggu muttered, puzzled.

“I...” Hongseok looked back at Jinho who obviously didn’t have a good answer. “I broke up with Sanghyuk.” Hyunggu dropped the gift bag and covered his mouth with his hands in shock.

“He texted me about it earlier.” Jinho nodded.

“So he invited me over to try and cheer me up.” Hongseok continued.

“And I made dinner because I figured he’d be too upset to get food for himself.” Jinho quickly added, fearing questions coming once Hyunggu opened the fridge.

The younger ran over to where Hongseok was sitting and wrapped him in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Hongseokkie.” Hyunggu apologized. “You must have had a terrible day. Stay as long as you need to.” Hongseok awkwardly hugged Hyunggu back.

“I think I’m okay for now. Jinho helped me talk it out. But thank you.” Hongseok looked at Jinho for help. 

“Oh, Hyunggu! Hongseok’s only seen Yuto from the other side of a restaurant, why don’t you introduce him?” Jinho quickly chimed in, smoothly changing the subject. Yuto looked between the three as if he was thinking about his escape options.

“You’re right! They haven’t officially met yet! And you’re probably tired of talking about Sanghyuk anyway.” Hyunggu agreed, pulling away from Hongseok. “Yuto c’mere!” He waved his boyfriend over with a big smile.

Yuto hesitantly picked his way over to the two, picking up the gift bag and setting it on the coffee table as he did so. Hyunggu pulled him down by the arm to sit next to them. He looked at the smaller man in shock.

“Yuto, this is our wonderful friend Yang Hongseok. He and Jinho share a birthday.” He held a hand up towards Hongseok’s face, who did his best to give an earnest smile. “Hongseok, this is my boyfriend Adachi Yuto.” Hyunggu hugged Yuto’s arm to his chest, staring up at him with obvious heart eyes. Yuto flushed under the weight of all the eyes on him, but bowed his head towards Hongseok.

“It-it’s nice to meet you.” He said. Hongseok’s eyebrows raised at how low his voice was. He bowed his head back.

“Nice to meet you too, Yuto.” He replied. He studied the boy for a moment. “Hyunggu’s a lucky guy.”

“Why do you say that?” Yuto blushed harder. Hyunggu looked to Hongseok expectantly.

“You’re really handsome.” Jinho shot him a warning glare from the couch. Hongseok just laughed it off.

“Oh, th-thank you... I’m really not that good looking.” Yuto stuttered, bowing his head again. Hyunggu pouted and gently punched his arm at the lie. 

“Wow, handsome, polite, _and_ humble.” Hongseok playfully gasped. Yuto’s face couldn’t have been redder.

“He gets all shy when people compliment him.” Hyunggu rolled his eyes with a smile.

“I-I don’t!” Yuto disagreed.

“Then why are you all red and trying to subtly hide your face and hide behind me?” Hyunggu asked, almost having to look over his shoulder at Yuto from where he had slowly scooted behind him. Yuto just gave a distressed expression back in return.

“So Yuto, Hyunggu talks a lot about you.” Hongseok started. Yuto already looked frightened. “I heard you’re on the baseball team.”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“I’ve also heard you’re the star player.” 

“...I’m sure that’s just a rumor. I’m not the best.” He did his best to explain.

“Well they had to give you that title for a reason.” Hongseok defended.

“He’s really good.” Hyunggu cut in. Yuto almost looked offended.

“Hyunggu’s also told me he’s your first.” Hongseok smiled playfully. Yuto sputtered until he choked on air, or words, or both. Jinho broke into laughter.

After a good ten minutes of choking, gaping at everyone in the room and looking like he might cry, Yuto did his best to reply. “F-first date, yes.” Hongseok raised an eyebrow.

“Did you think I meant something else?” 

Jinho thought Yuto looked like he was about to combust. It was hilarious.

“Hyunggu, I want to go home.” He fumbled, tugging on Hyunggu’s sleeve. Hyunggu only leaned into him with a giggle.

“Okay, Okay. I’ll stop.” Hongseok laughed, hands raised in surrender. Yuto sighed in relief, slumping forward. 

“Oh! I just realized! Since Hongseok’s here too, I can give you both your presents!” Hyunggu suddenly chirped. He pried himself out of Yuto’s grasp and ran back to the kitchen. He came back with a large plastic bag with a box inside. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here, so I didn’t get to wrap it. But this is from me and Jinho.” 

Hongseok stared in surprise at the large item. Hyunggu handed it to him with a big grin. Hongseok peeked inside the bag, gasping when he saw what it was. He looked up at Hyunggu and then to Jinho in disbelief.

“You guys bought me a pan?” He exclaimed, staring back down at the gift.

“Do you... not like it?” Jinho asked, wondering if his idea had turned out to be a horrible idea.

“Are you kidding? Yan An broke the handle on my favorite pan when he chased a spider around the apartment a month ago. I love it.” Hongseok gushed, hugging it close to his chest. Hyunggu and Jinho both exhaled dramatically.

“Oh good, I got worried for a second.” Hyunggu breathed, a hand placed on his chest.

“He researched what the best pan was for three days.” Yuto said from behind where Hyunggu was standing.

“What really?” Hongseok stared up at him in surprise.

“Yeah, Yuto got mad at me for looking up brand ratings during lunch one day.”

“I didn’t get mad, I just didn’t like you staring at your phone the whole time.” Yuto countered.

“So you were just being needy and wanted all my attention.” Hyunggu turned back to grin at him smugly. Yuto clamped his mouth shut and looked away.

“Wow.” Hongseok gasped again, resting his cheek against the box, looking absolutely touched by the gift and Hyunggu’s effort.

“Aaaand now for Jinho!” Hyunggu pulled the gift bag off the table and handed it to the oldest, still perched on the couch. Jinho accepted it with wide eyes.

“I thought we weren’t doing presents?” He said, but still pulled the tissue paper out of the bag.

“I saw them and couldn’t help myself.” Hyunggu simply said.

“What’s even in here?” Jinho couldn’t see over the top of the bag when it was sitting in his lap, so he just blindly stuck his arm in.

“A few things.” Yuto answered.

Jinho touched something soft and pulled it out first. 

“A neck pillow?” Hongseok scrunched his eyebrows together.

“You don’t understand, this is great.” Jinho said, immediately checking to make sure it fit around his neck.

“Jinho pulls a lot of all nighters, and it puts a lot of strain on his neck. Now if he needs a break or a nap, he can do it wherever he’s working.” Hyunggu explained.

“Oh, that makes sense.” Hongseok pursed his lips and nodded.

“And one more thing.” Hyunggu said, pointing at the bag excitedly. Jinho quirked an eyebrow and reached in again. His hands found a box. He pulled it out and gasped, much like Hongseok had.

“Hyunggu, Oh my god.” He looked shocked. “These are so expensive, why would you do this?” 

“Because a musician and composer with your talent deserves high quality noise canceling headphones. Stop using those cheap ones.” Hyunggu replied proudly. Jinho just glared at him in disbelief.

“How did you afford these?” 

“I saved up all the money I made from the dance lessons I gave since January.” Hyunggu answered honestly.

“I don’t deserve these _or_ you.” 

“Too bad. The receipt mysteriously vanished. Now we can’t take them back.”

“Hyunggu, I cant accept these.” Jinho pressed.

“No, we actually lost the receipt. It fell out of his pocket on the way to the car.” Yuto admitted.

“Shhh! He doesn’t need to know that!” Hyunggu hissed. 

Hongseok cackled at the exchange.

 

_____________

 

“Hongseok? Oh my god! We were so worried!” Changgu cried as Hongseok was locking the door behind him. He was caught by surprise as Changgu ran to hug him. He nearly dropped the bag he was carrying. The plastic rattled as Changgu’s weight forced him to take a couple steps back.

“Hey, I thought you’d be asleep by now.” Hongseok softly laughed, eyelids and limbs heavy from exhaustion. He didn’t understand why Changgu was being this way. Then he looked up and saw Yan An and Seokwoo standing in the living room, Yan An casting not so kind glares in Hongseok’s direction. He really didn’t know what was going on.

“How could I sleep!? I thought you had gone out drinking like last year and got worried when you weren’t answering.” Changgu said, muffled against Hongseok’s sweater. “I tried calling Sanghyuk but he didn’t answer either.” Changgu looked over at Seokwoo.

Hongseok tensed a little.

“Zuho called me.” Seokwoo sighed from the living room and walked closer. “He told me you broke up with Sanghyuk. The kid’s devastated.” 

Hongseok couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Then Seokwoo called us to check on you. But you weren’t here.” Changgu explained.

“Did you invite him over just to break up with him and then go drink the night away?” Yan An scoffed, leaning against the door frame.

“No, I-“

“Then where the hell were you?” Yan An wasn’t happy. Not in the slightest.

“I...” Hongseok couldn’t speak with all the pairs of eyes burning into his skin.

“Me and Seokwoo checked every bar in town.” Yan An hissed. “Because Changgu was so worried about you, we even checked some twice.”

“I figured you’d be upset too, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else you’d go.” Changgu buried his face in Hongseok’s sweater again.

“We were just trying to figure out where else you could be before you waltzed in like everything was fine.” Yan An crossed his arms.

“And what’s that?” Changgu looked up at Hongseok, pointing at the bag in his hand.

“O-oh, this?” Hongseok lifted it a bit higher. Changgu nodded. “It’s a new frying pan.”

“Where did you get that? All the places that sell pans around here have been closed for hours.” Yan An asked.

“It was a gift from Hyunggu and Jinho.” Hongseok answered honestly.

“Jinho?” Changgu backed away from Hongseok, releasing him from the hug. His face turned serious. 

“Yeah... I uh...”

“You were at Jinho’s place? On your birthday?” Changgu frowned. “What happened to getting over Jinho? What happened to not liking to celebrate your birthday? It took me weeks just to get you to have your birthday dinner with me the night before your actual birthday.” Hongseok could feel the panic creeping up his back.

“It’s not like that, not originally. Changgu, please.” Hongseok started. Yan An rolled his eyes. Seokwoo just looked disappointed.

“Then what is it if it’s not that?” Yan An asked.

“Just... let me start from the beginning, okay?” He begged. The three reluctantly agreed and they moved into the living room, cornering Hongseok into a chair.

First he explained the plans he’d made with Sanghyuk, how he hadn’t wanted company but compromised after the man had persisted. Then he explained Jinho’s insistence on eating dinner with the excuse of having bought too many ingredients. None of them looked happy he’d agreed. He told them he didn’t know Jinho even knew when his birthday was, so he figured he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Changgu admitted to running into Hyunggu and telling him, knowing he probably shared the information with Jinho.

Hongseok ran through all the unfortunate events from earlier in the day up to his time with Sanghyuk, making it clear that he still wasn’t really ready to get more intimate but tried to anyway for Sanghyuk’s sake and the sake of their relationship. But he couldn’t do it so he panicked, pushed him away and hastily broke up with him and told him to leave. He thought Changgu looked guilty for a split second.

“I just... It was too much. I felt horrible for yelling at him like that.” Hongseok sighed, staring down at the floor. “I cried for hours. I can’t do anything about whether you believe me or not, but I did.”

Changgu was picking at his sleeve, looking anxious.

“I didn’t know what to do, so I texted Jinho to let him know I wasn’t going to come over. I didn’t want to risk anything else. My day was shit and I felt like it too.” Hongseok continued. “But he insisted I came over. He was worried I wasn’t okay and that I wasn’t going to eat or sleep. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have. So I agreed to come over eventually. I showered and changed because I felt dirty. I scrubbed my skin until it was almost raw and still didn’t feel clean. I drove over there myself, but had to stop every few blocks because I couldn’t stop crying.” He pulled his knees up to his chest.

“When I showed up, he didn’t mention Sanghyuk. He didn’t ask me if I’d been crying even though I knew I looked like I had been. He didn’t mention my birthday. He didn’t ask me anything besides what I wanted to drink.” Hongseok knew if he had any tears left, they would have started rolling down his cheeks by now. “It was so nice, not having to talk about anything. And he made a whole meal. When I told him I felt bad for eating it, he told me it was okay because he was treating himself and it was my birthday. But he said it so casually.”

Seokwoo listened quietly, lips drawn in a line and eyebrows knitted in a sympathetic expression. Yan An’s eyes were still cold.

“I thought I could hold it together, but when I started eating I couldn’t help it. Everything tasted so great and he’d made it all by hand. And he made it seem like it was just for me. It’s been so long since I’ve really had a home cooked meal. I haven’t had time or energy to cook anything for myself. I just started crying again. At first he didn’t bring it up, but then it got so bad I couldn’t eat. He just told he to let it out and let me cry on his shoulder. He didn’t try to get me to stop or to talk. He really let me cry it all out until I felt better.” Hongseok rubbed at his eyes. They were stinging from being dry and tired. “When I stopped, the food was cold. So he reheated everything and we finished dinner and I just felt better.”

“But then he said he made dessert too and I started crying again when he brought out a cake.” Hongseok buried his face in his hands. His bottom lip was starting to tremble, but he was still too dehydrated for tears. “It was his birthday too. I had no idea but he wrote it on the cake and we shared it even though I was a fucking mess. He was so kind and gentle and I just really needed that. He let me just sit there and let everything out and we talked and it was just so nice.” 

“Then Hyunggu and his boyfriend showed up. They didn’t expect me to be there, but they had just gotten back from buying Jinho’s gift. They got me the frying pan too. They got the nicest one they could find and I know it’s so expensive. But they got it for me because they wanted to. So I stayed a little longer and they offered to let me stay the night, but I thought I’d over stayed my welcome so I came home.” Hongseok wiped his face with his sleeve, even though he couldn’t cry. “The day was shit, but for just a few hours my birthday didn’t seem so bad. For the first time in years, I didn’t hate that it was my birthday. So please, please don’t interrogate me like this anymore.”

Changgu chewed on his lip. He felt guilty for upsetting Hongseok, but he’d been so worried. He was about to apologize when Yan An spoke up.

“We wouldn’t have to if you just bothered to let us know where you are.” Yan An grunted. Hongseok looked at him with a hurt expression. “You have a phone and both our numbers. You don’t have an excuse, sob story or not.” 

“I’m sorry, but Yan An’s right. Just start letting them know where you are and a lot of this wouldn’t happen.” Seokwoo sighed. “And you’re going to have to talk to Sanghyuk at some point. He doesn’t understand anything that happened.”

“... I know.” Hongseok let his eyes fall back to the floor. “I’m sorry.”

 

_____________

 

Jinho felt like he was floating through the next week. Everything suddenly seemed to be going well. He and Hongseok weren’t dating, but he’d confessed. Hongseok knew Jinho was his whenever he was ready. And it felt wonderful. 

He finally decided on a song and it was the only one left. He had plenty of time to make sure it was perfect. Things were looking up. Shinwon had agreed to help him with the instrumental, since he was the only one of his friends who could play guitar. Jinho wanted to do something jazzy. Something fun but moody at the same time. 

Even though he had plenty of time and didn’t have to stress, he still stayed up late most nights while inspiration and motivation levels were strong. Hyunggu found him asleep sitting up at the kitchen counter one night when he’d ventured into the kitchen to get something to drink at three in the morning. Gently, he’d shaken the older boy awake and suggested he sleep in a bed rather than a chair. It didn’t take much to convince Jinho, so he saved his progress and went to bed.

By Friday, the feeling still hadn’t warn off. His instructor complimented his work, he passed his second to last art history exam, and gotten a coffee on the house because one of the girls working behind the counter thought he was cute. He didn’t mention he recently realized he didn’t like girls, or that he was technically taken. A free coffee is a free coffee and as a poor, caffeine addicted college student, he wasn’t one to refuse.

Hongseok messaged him more often. No matter how many times he saw “My” written before Hongseok’s name, a smile still spread across Jinho’s face. Hyunggu hadn’t noticed. If anything he was just happy Jinho wasn’t so down and didn’t question it.

Occasionally, he felt guilty for being on such a high. Hongseok was trying his best to figure out how to make things right with Sanghyuk, but Jinho wasn’t much good at making up and couldn’t give any suggestions. The younger man was stressed over the situation. But the fact that he always came to Jinho for help and encouragement meant a lot to him. 

 

From My Hongseok:  
I’m just worried about the two obvious options

From My Hongseok:  
He’ll either want to get back together, or hate me forever. There’s no in between.

 

Jinho knew that the two outcomes were very possible, even if Hongseok was overreacting.

 

From Jinho:  
You’re a smart guy, I’m sure you can figure something out. There’s gotta be another result than just those two

From My Hongseok:  
Yeah? Like what?

From Jinho:  
Maybe he’s been in a similar situation and understands? If he was pining after you for a while he might have done exactly what you did

From My Hongseok:  
...I guess... that’s fair.

From My Hongseok:  
But what if he hasn’t?

From Jinho:  
That’s just a chance you’ll have to take, unfortunately 

From My Hongseok:  
AND THATS WHAT IM AFRAID OF!

From Jinho:  
Well... don’t be

From Jinho:  
You have to talk to him eventually

From My Hongseok:  
I know

From My Hongseok:  
I don’t think my roommates will let me live until I do

From Jinho:  
So they know?

From My Hongseok:  
Do they know? Are you kidding? I think everyone who knows me and Sanghyuk knows.

From My Hongseok:  
Even Seungyeon and Yeeun are mad at me... were they this frightening when they were mad at you?

From Jinho:  
I don’t know what they’re doing to you exactly but I’m gonna go with yes they were frightening 

From Jinho:  
I take it they aren’t very happy with you then?

From My Hongseok:  
I think Yan An wants to strangle me, first off

From My Hongseok:  
Second, Changgu’s guilt tripping himself for setting us up

From My Hongseok:  
Seokwoo is just quietly disappointed in me, Inseong definitely pulled a protective parent moment and gave me a lecture, and I think Jaeyoon just doesn’t know what went wrong. They all thought we’d do well together

From Jinho:  
More than anything you just weren’t ready, they should have seen that

From My Hongseok:  
I think Changgu sees it, and Seokwoo and Jaeyoon seem like they’re starting to realize that too

From My Hongseok:  
It’s mainly Yan An and then Seokwoo begging me to make up so Sanghyuk’s roommate won’t stop bugging him about it because Sanghyuk won’t leave him alone now...

From Jinho:  
Oh yikes

From Jinho:  
Sorry I’m not much help...

From My Hongseok:  
You’re willing to listen to me while I freak out and rant, so you’re still helpful but in a stress relief sorta way

From Jinho:  
Woo! I’m not useless!

From My Hongseok:  
Lol, no you’re not useless

From Jinho:  
That’s reassuring, I was really worried for a while there

From My Hongseok:  
Besides you’re too cute to be useless

From Jinho:  
Oh are we flirting now?

From Jinho:  
Are friends allowed to flirt?

From Jinho:  
Hongseok? U there?

From My Hongseok:  
FORGET I SAID ANYTHING I GOTTA GO

From Jinho:  
Call me cute and leave I see how it is

 

Jinho laughed quietly, his cheeks warm with an undeniable blush. 

Goodness, was he in love.

 

_____________

 

“O-oh am I late? I was sure you said to meet at five...” Sanghyuk hesitantly says as he walks up to the table Hongseok was seated at, anxiously rearranging everything sitting on top of it. He still couldn’t believe he was sitting in this cafe, waiting for Sanghyuk so he could apologize and end things on a better note.

“No, no. I just came really early to... um. Think things over.” He came an hour and a half early, to be more specific. “You’re not late.” Hongseok says. “I’m glad you even came. Please, take a seat.”

And Sanghyuk does, tired eyes lifting to meet Hongseok’s. The older felt his heart break a little at the sight. Not enough to take him back. Not more than he wants Jinho. That’s why he works up his courage to get it over with. He took a deep breath and folded his hands in his lap.

“First, I want to apologize. For everything. My behavior, the mixed signals, acting distant, all of it. I’m truly sorry.” Hongseok said, pouring every ounce of sincerity into it as he possibly could.

“Then why did you push me away?” Sanghyuk answered after a moment, his pupils shaking. Hongseok swallowed the lump in his throat. He was expecting him to ask something similar, just not so quickly. At this point, all he could do was be honest. No more lies.

“Because I was sick of feeling like I was just playing with you.” Sanghyuk looked taken aback.

“Playing with me? Are you saying you weren’t serious about me?” He asked Hongseok.

“No, I was serious. I agreed to go out with you hoping it would help me get over someone.” He tried to explain.

“Oh, so I was just your rebound?” Sanghyuk scoffed.

“No, that’s... that’s not what I’m trying to say.” Hongseok shook his head. “I fell for you. I really did. I wanted to do it all with you. But no matter what I did, whenever we were... intimate... I couldn’t stop thinking about the person I was trying to get over. Even if I wanted to be thinking about you, I just couldn’t. I felt like I wasn’t giving you my all and I couldn’t fix it no matter how much I tried and I was worried I’d just hurt you in the end.” He blurted out in response, his confidence and composure already broken.

“Well, you hurt me anyway.” Sanghyuk sighed, eyes falling to the table.

“There’s no guarantee your heart won’t get broken in any relationship...” Hongseok answered quietly. Sanghyuk nodded in solemn agreement. “I was so afraid to hurt you by getting close, that I ended up hurting you more by pushing you away. And I’m sorry. A million times over.” He apologized again.

“You were incredibly sweet to me. You were someone I didn’t deserve. I wasn’t ready and I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I felt pressured and I bent until I snapped. Some things were said and mistakes were made. Please know you’re a good guy, regardless.” Hongseok continued. “I liked being with you, and I don’t regret the time I spent with you. But I don’t want to hurt you anymore and I know that’s all I’m going to do if we stay together. Your well being is important and I don’t think I’m what’s best for you.”

Sanghyuk’s eyebrows knit together as he chewed on his lip with a nod.

“So, this is it?” He asked, not meeting Hongseok’s gaze.

“...yeah. This is it.” Hongseok scratched at his neck.

“We’re done?” He finally looked up at him, crestfallen.

“Only after I answer whatever questions you want answered and you let me buy you an overpriced coffee as an apology. You deserve at least that much.” Hongseok did his best to offer a smile, but he knew it looked forced. Sanghyuk nodded. Hongseok could have sworn he heard a small sniffle.

“This is upsetting.” Sanghyuk laughed, but it came out hollow. He rubbed at his eyes. “But it beats being yelled at to leave with no explanation, I guess.”

“I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that.” Hongseok’s smile fell as he felt another apology on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s.. it’s okay. It happened. It’s over. You’re apologizing now and trying to make it right.” Sanghyuk told him, finally looking up at him. “It’s not going to hurt as badly now. I’ll get over it, eventually.”

“I really, really... I never wanted to hurt you.” Hongseok sighed.

“I know. I was taking things faster than you were willing to go, so it’s my fault too, I think.” Sanghyuk played with the loose thread dangling from his jacket sleeve. Hesitantly, he asked Hongseok a question. “But... can I ask who you were trying to get over?”

Hongseok felt something shatter inside himself. Maybe this was a bad idea. This... making up quickly just so he could hurry back to Jinho’s side as if none of it had happened thing was a bad idea. Was he sweating? He was definitely panicking.

“I guess not then.” Sanghyuk’s eyes fell once more.

“It was Jinho.” Hongseok quickly answered. He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. Sanghyuk looked up at him with eyes filled with a emotional cocktail of sadness, frustration and pity.

“The guys told me what happened at the party.” The younger quietly stated. “How you confessed to him then.”

Hongseok slowly nodded, chewing on his bottom lip and wringing his hands under the table.

“Changgu said you were devastated when Jinho rejected you, saying he’s straight.” He continued. “You never got over it, did you?”

Hongseok shook his head, fighting back the tremble of his lips.

“Don’t chase after someone who won’t return your feelings, Hongseok.”

The older bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything else he’d regret.

“At least you had feelings for me. Even if they weren’t completely there or solid, you had them. And I’m thankful for that. But if Jinho doesn’t have any for you, you’ll just keep getting hurt.” Sanghyuk pulled one of Hongseok’s arms up to rest on the table and held his hand tight between his. “I’m hurting, but you’ve been hurting a lot longer. Even if I can’t be with you, I don’t want you to be in pain. I’ll get over it, but I won’t stand by and watch while you suffer.”

“Sanghyuk...” Hongseok stared down at their hands. “Please don’t worry about me. I won’t suffer for much longer.” He gave him a gentle smile.

Sanghyuk returned the smile, for the first time since he’d arrived.

“What do you want to drink? Anything you want, it’s on me.” Hongseok asked, happy things weren’t going disastrously.

 

_____________

 

“I’m not so sure charging right into this is the best idea.” Hui sighed, petting Deborah who was curled up in his lap purring. He and Jinho were sitting on Hui’s bed while Hyojong was stretched out on the floor in front of them, pouting over the fact Deborah chose Hui cuddle time over playtime with Hyojong.

“I mean, we’re not necessarily _charging_ into it.” Jinho argued.

“It hasn’t even been two weeks since Hongseok broke up with Sanghyuk. That isn’t going look to good on him if he’s already dating someone else this soon.” Hyojong begrudgingly agreed with Hui, voice muffled through the rug he was currently laying face down on.

“See, even Hyojong agrees.” Hui said as he rolled his eyes.

“Why... why does that sound mildly insulting?” Hyojong lifted his head up, looking puzzled.

“I’m just saying, you don’t normally have good judgement.” Hui explained.

“You’re not wrong, but it still kind of hurts.” Hyojong pouted.

“Is it really that bad?” Jinho asked quietly, twiddling his thumbs.

“It’s pretty bad, Jinho.” Hui answered. “You should wait a bit longer.”

“I’m still surprised you had the guts to confess though.” Hyojong mumbled into the rug.

“Hey now, I have guts.” Jinho countered.

“I’ve seen you literally get scared by your own shadow.” Hui deadpanned.

“Being easily scared and having guts are two very different things.” 

“I don’t see it, but okay.” Hui huffed. “But I’m serious, don’t go into this so quickly. For Hongseok’s sake at the very least.”

“And what happens when you two start dating? You haven’t dated in years and you’ve never dated a guy before.” Hyojong pointed out.

“Hongseok’s roommate’s will probably hate you more than they did before too.” Hui added. “Especially if you two start dating so quickly.”

“Okay, I get it. I’ll talk to him about it. I’ll offer to wait longer.” Jinho groaned. Wanting to quickly leave that subject, he leaned forward to look at the blond still on the floor. “But what do you mean, Hyojong? How is it going to be any different than dating a girl?”

He rolled over and gave Jinho a look that obviously meant, “are you serious?”. 

“Jinho, please.” He said, looking up at the rusty brunette. “You haven’t really thought about it?”

“...I guess not?” 

“First off, you already know there’s a ton of homophobic ass-hats on campus after what happened with the video of you two making out. You’re gonna get looks. Dirty looks. And some people are going to say some hateful things both to your face and behind your back.” Hyojong began to explain.

Hui nodded in agreement.

“Don’t let those things get to you. If you let it get to you, you might do something dumb. The goal is for the relationship to be happy with as little strain as possible. But you also shouldn’t let that stop you from doing things. Make out in public, hold hands, go on lunch dates, whatever. Don’t stop doing those things because of what people think. If you stop doing what you both want to do, it’ll limit how far your relationship goes. It might also look like what other people think of you is more important to you than Hongseok and that would be bad. Very bad.”

“This is already one of the most intelligent, longest speeches you’ve ever given Hyojongie.” Hui teasingly cooed. He was quickly silenced by a stuffed mouse cat toy thrown at his face.

“Second, since you have lived your entire life so far thinking you should like girls and only girls, it’s gonna feel weird. It’ll feel right and wrong at the same time because of how you’ve been brainwashed by your parents.” Jinho watched as Hyojong got even more into it and started vaguely gesturing with his hands along to each word he said. “So don’t doubt yourself if something feels right. Don’t let your internalized homophobia stop you from getting the guy. You confessed already, but that’s just the first hurdle. So you gotta be ready to jump a bunch more.”

Jinho agreed with Hui, this speech was incredibly long for Hyojong.

“Third, what the heck are you gonna do if you end up in bed together? Like in the not just cuddling sorta way?” He propped himself up on his elbows to look at Jinho.

“Uh...”

“That’s what I thought.” Hyojong sighed and flopped back down onto the floor. “You’re going to have to be okay with either doing research before hand, or suck it up and not be too embarrassed to ask Hongseok to tell you what to do when the time comes. I’m not going to teach you, because that’s just weird, but you can’t pretend you know what to do. If you two are making out and you get hard, for the sake of your relationship, throw your pride out the window and ask for help.”

“For talking about sex, that was rather profound.” Hui laughed. He was slowly amassing a collection of cat toys that Hyojong had thrown at him.

“Why does it always come back to that subject?” Jinho asked.

“Because, you’ve gone so long getting by with the occasional one night stand, I’m sure you’ll end up horny at some point.” Hyojong answered simply.

“There’s more to a relationship than just sex, you know.” Jinho retorted.

“Says the guy who probably only dated girls for this long because of sex.” Hui murmured.

“We all know that was the main thing that held your past relationships together.” Hyojong agreed.

“M-maybe so! But maybe that was because I didn’t know what actually being in love was like!”

“You sound like such a sap.”

“I’m being serious! Like yeah, sex is great and all, but I want to do more than just have sex with Hongseok. I want to do other things too! Like.... like... wow this sounds stupid, but I want to hold his hand and make him laugh and I want to cook dinner together and wake up together to go to class and help him study and take him home for the holidays and go on a cheesy vacation with him and do laundry together and stay up late watching movies and wash our faces together and brush our teeth together side by side at the sink and sing him a freaking lullaby when he can’t sleep.” Jinho sputtered.

“That’s so domestic and mushy I think I’m gonna vomit.” Hyojong replied.

“I never thought I’d hear any of that come out of your mouth.” Hui said, staring at Jinho in disbelief. “You really are in love, aren’t you?”

“Did you think I was lying?” Jinho whined.

“I just didn’t think you were this serious.” Hui answered.

“You sound like you’re already trying to wife the guy.” Hyojong laughed.

“I’m trying to what now?” Jinho was so confused.

“To wife. You’re trying to wife the guy. You’re acting like you want to _marry_ him.” Hyojong explained, being more and more done with Jinho as he wasn’t catching on.

“Oh.” Jinho said, pink dusting his cheeks. Marriage was an awful big topic to bring up before he even officially started dating Hongseok. It made him nervous and giddy thinking about it.

“Now he’s thinking about marrying Hongseok, nice going Hyojong.” Hui groaned. “You need to take it _slow_ , remember? No thinking about marriage. You just realized you like guys less than a month ago. Same sex marriage isn’t even legal here yet. Stop it.” Hui smacked the back of Jinho’s head with one of the cat toys Hyojong had thrown at him.

“Ow, Its not like I’m going to propose to him the next time I see him!” Jinho cried.

“Just... don’t think about it before you even start dating. That’s too fast.” Hui sighed. 

“But if you two ever get married, can I be the best man and can we force Hui to be the flower girl?”

“HYOJONG, DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM!”

 

_____________

 

Hongseok nervously unlocked his apartment door, already knowing Changgu and Yan An were probably waiting on the other side. It had been a few days since he met with Sanghyuk, but he knew their schedules hadn’t lined up properly for them to give him any sort of intervention. With a deep breath, he opened the door, surprised to see a head of pink hair instead of blond.

“Jaeyoon?” He said, sitting his keys on the kitchen counter as he made his way to the living room. The pink haired man was sitting across from Changgu with a mug of tea in his hand. 

“I take it you weren’t expecting me, huh?” The older man laughed.

“No, I wasn’t.” He answered honestly, shrugging off his backpack and taking a seat beside Changgu on the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“To both apologize and thank you.” Changgu answered for him. Jaeyoon nodded.

“What do you mean?” Hongseok looked between the two, confused.

“We want to apologize for setting you up with Sanghyuk when you weren’t ready. Me and Changgu thought it would be good for you, and it seemed like it was at first, but you started getting so stressed and it was clear it just wasn’t working anymore.” Jaeyoon started. Changgu placed a hand on Hongseok’s shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I also want to thank you for making up with Sanghyuk, even if you didn’t get back together. He was hysterical after your birthday, but after you talked to him this week, he’s already doing so much better. Seokwoo isn’t getting any more angry calls from Juho. He actually called him because he thought something was wrong with Sanghyuk since he wasn’t acting as needy and sad. I don’t know how you did it, but everything’s already going back to normal despite our mistake, so thank you.”

“I... I don’t really know what to say to that.” Hongseok told him.

“Just roll with it.” Changgu suggested. 

Hongseok laughed. He wasn’t expecting this. He wasn’t expecting an apology. He was expecting another lecture. This was a much appreciated surprise.

“The kettle still has some hot water in it, you want to have some tea and talk with us for a while?” Changgu asked with a smile. 

“I was actually going to head back out. I just came home to switch out my bag and textbooks so I could go study at the library. But thanks for the offer.” Hongseok admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt bad declining their offer, but he really needed to study and Jinho may have just so happened to offer to bring him coffee in an hour or so.

“Oh come on, be irresponsible for fifteen minutes and have a cup of tea!” Jaeyoon fake whined. Changgu laughed at how funny he sounded.

“No, no. I really shouldn’t, it’ll just make me too relaxed and I won’t be in the mood to study anymore.” He reasoned.

“Ahh... that’s hard to argue with.” Jaeyoon surrendered. “I do that too.”

“You made a valiant effort.” Changgu teased the oldest man. “Good luck studying, buddy. If you change your mind, we’ll both probably still be here. It’s only seven after all.”

“If you’re still here when I get back, I’ll take you up the offer for tea.” Hongseok smiled and patted Changgu on the head before making his way back to his room. Humming, he dug through his bag and took out the notebook he needed and shoved it between two notebooks in his back up bag. 

If he was being honest, there was a good chance he wouldn’t get much done before Jinho comes with the promised cup of coffee. They hadn’t seen each other in person since their birthday and he was starting to feel anxious after not seeing him for so long. It was one thing to go this long when he was trying to avoid him, but nearly two weeks after being confessed to? Torture. Absolute torture.

Even if all they did was quietly sit together in a library for a couple hours, he’d be perfectly happy. Hongseok just missed Jinho and that’s all there was to it. He missed seeing the boy who surprised him by liking him back. He missed his smile and his voice. Hurriedly, he shoved his laptop and whatever else he thought he needed into the bag. Pausing, he grabbed an extra bag and stuffed a spare set of clothes and an extra toothbrush into it. Maybe he was being too hopeful, but it was better to be prepared, right? After checking that he had everything he needed, he entered the living room once more.

“In case you’re gone when I get back, it was so nice seeing you Jaeyoon!” He called out with a wave as he went to put his shoes back on. 

“Good to see you too! Well have to go bowling together again. You were pretty good. Inseong isn’t much of an opponent.” He laughed, returning the wave.

“Don’t study too hard for too long! And remember to eat if you haven’t yet!” Changgu yelled at him as he was walking through the door.

“Okay, mom!” Hongseok grinned and shut the door behind him.

 

 

Needless to say, neither of the two men accomplished much at the library.

Hongseok fiddled around with this and that, flipping through his nutrition textbook and through some physiology flash cards. Though, nothing was really retained from skimming the aforementioned materials as he waited for Jinho. His focus wandered from his textbook, to the bookshelves, to his laptop to, how comfortable the couch he’d chosen to sit on was, and to the clock on the wall at least every two minutes expecting it to say something different. 

Once Jinho got there, it was a completely different story. They really tried to be as quiet as possible, but it wasn’t working too well. Jinho had arrived, coffee in both hands and his messenger bag slung across his body with a big smile. It was obvious he was just as eager to meet up as Hongseok was. His intentions were to work on his final composition assignment while Hongseok studied. This, of course, didn’t happen.

The two were fidgety and unfocused. In Jinho’s opinion, it was because it was too hard to see his laptop since the literal sun was sitting right next to him. For Hongseok, well, he was too busy thinking about he and Jinho, together, as a thing, boyfriends. Just the thought of the word was enough to make his face flush deep red. 

In the midst of their silent procrastination, Jinho’s stomach growled.

“Are you hungry?” Hongseok quietly asked, stifling a smile.

“No, no I’m fine.” Jinho lied.

_Grooooowwwwl_

“You sure?” Hongseok pressed, nearly chuckling.

“Okay, maybe a little.”

“Neither of us are getting much done here.” Hongseok stated, closing his textbook. “You wanna go grab something to eat?”

“Only if you’re hungry too.” Jinho said, shyly. Hongseok smiled, face growing warm.

“Absolutely.”

So they packed up their things as quietly as they could as not to bother the other students in the library, and headed outside. The night air was cool, causing Jinho to pull his denim jacket tighter around himself.

“What sounds good to you?” Hongseok asked, digging his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “Not much is open at this point.”

“Ugh... Jiajangmyeon sounds so good right now but the closest place that serves it closed at ten...” Jinho groaned, his stomach groaning with him.

“The convenience store a block down is still open. We could buy the stuff to make it if you don’t mind waiting a little longer.” Hongseok suggested, thinking over whether it was worth it to drive a block down or just walk there and back.

“You know how to make jjajangmyeon?” Jinho was perplexed by the idea.

“...yeah? It’s not that hard. It’s only... around six ingredients total.” Hongseok replied, confused at Jinho’s astonishment.

“I just... it’s just one of those things that I never thought of being able to cook at home... like it was the nation’s secret recipe only restaurants were allowed to know about.” He admitted. Hongseok laughed at his confession.

“Really? I think it was literally the first meal I learned to cook unless microwave ramen counts.” The younger gently grabbed Jinho by the wrist and tugged him towards the sidewalk. “C’mon, I’ll teach you. But we have to buy the stuff first.”

“Oh, Okay.” Jinho mumbled and let himself be pulled down the street to the store. He kept his eyes on Hongseok’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. His cheeks were bright pink, even visible under the light the dim street lamps they passed. Suddenly, he forgot the reason why they were going to the convenience store.

“Oh, I forgot to ask, is it okay if we cook at your place? Changgu thinks I’m still studying.” Hongseok laughed nervously.

“Absolutely. You can stay the night if you want.” Jinho sputtered.

“Would it be bad if I hoped you’d say that and brought extra clothes?” He asked behind a hand to hide is smile.

“You’re unbelievable.” Jinho couldn’t hide his bright blush and wide smile.

 

_____________

 

“Can you chop up the vegetables while I take care of the chicken?” Hongseok asked Jinho as he plopped the chicken breasts onto the cutting board. The older dried his hands from where he’d just rinsed the last potato.

“Yeah, do we just need them cubed?” He asked.

“Yeah, about... a centimeter or two big, depending on how chunky you want it.” Hongseok told him. Jinho nodded and brought the onion, radish, zucchini, and three small potatoes over to the counter to start cutting. Hongseok had already peeled the radish and potatoes while Jinho was digging out the right pan to cook everything in, so it wouldn’t take long to cut everything up.

Going with the one centimeter thickness, he chopped up the potatoes, then the zucchini, the radish, and lastly the onion, only because he knew his eyes would water. With a sniff he looked over at Hongseok, who was stir frying little cubes of chicken in the pan. Preferably, they would have used pork instead, but there weren’t any portions small enough at the store. Sadly, neither of them had the money nor the reason to buy and entire pork shoulder when they only needed about a cup and a half of meat. Chicken would have to do. Fortunately, it already smelled amazing, despite what little Jinho could smell with his currently runny nose at least. 

“Oooooooh my god, that smells so good!” Hyunggu whined from the living room. “I’m gonna die from amazing smells before it’s even done!” The apartment, sadly, was not empty when Jinho and Hongseok arrived with grocery bags. It was obvious they came to cook and Hyunggu was happy to share the spoils of their hard work. Jinho had hoped Hyunggu was out with Yuto or at a late night club meeting, but that clearly didn’t happen. So here they were, all of them dressed in their pajamas, cooking jjajangmyeon (except Hyunggu) at twelve in the morning.

“Are you done with the vegetables?” Hongseok asked, snapping Jinho out of his thoughts and making him realize he was definitely just staring at him for a solid five minutes.

“Yeah, yeah I’m done.” Jinho mumbled, sliding the cutting board full of cubed vegetables towards Hongseok.

“Thank you!” He said in a sing song voice, happily scraping them into the pan. It sizzled rather aggressively as the new additions hit the hot metal. Jinho watched as the taller man stirred them around the pan until they started to brown at the edges. “Can you hand me the black bean paste?”

Jinho almost jumped. Quickly, he handed him the container, pretending he didn’t space out watching Hongseok’s muscles ripple in his arm. Why was this kitchen suddenly so warm? 

“Should I start the noodles?” He asked, hoping to save himself from being caught staring by either Hyunggu or the person he’s staring at.

“Yeah, make sure they’re chewy. Unless you don’t like them chewy.” Hongseok answered. He scooped out a couple spoonfuls of the paste and plopped it into the small space he’d made in the center of the pan. It sizzled in the center with the wall of vegetables and chicken cubes. Jinho nodded and turned the burner on under the pot of water. Hongseok stirred and stirred the paste for about a minute before mixing it all together.

“Do you have any cornstarch?” He asked suddenly.

“Cornstarch? We might have some up in the cabinet. I think I bought some when I made that beef roast...” Jinho opened up one of the top cabinets, feeling around the bottom shelf where he was pretty sure he’d put the container. He grinned when his fingers hit a familiar object and pulled it out. “Found it!” 

He handed the bright yellow container to Hongseok and watched him mix two tablespoons of cornstarch, one teaspoon of sugar and one fourth cup water in a bowl before slowly stirring it into the lumpy brown concoction in the pan. The sauce started to thicken after a few moments.

Finally, the water came to a boil and Jinho dropped the noodles into the bubbling water in small handfuls. He swirled them around in the pot with a pair of chopsticks, slowly working them apart so they would cook evenly. In about five or so minutes, they were soft to Jinho’s liking. He clicked off the burner and brought the pot over to the sink. Slowly, he drained out the excess water, dodging the boiling hot droplets that splashed out of the sink. He quickly rinsed them under cold water and drained them once more to make them a bit more chewy. 

“Done with the noodles? I’m all done over here.” Hongseok asked, turning off the burner.

“Yeah. We need some bowls...” Jinho sat the pot back down on the stove and searched for three clean bowls. He was pretty sure they only owned three bowls. At one point they had more, but he may have possibly broken a couple while being half asleep and trying to eat cereal. Thankfully, all three were clean and he sat them in a row on the counter, ready to be filled.

Hongseok took care of serving the food. He filled each bowl with noodles and spooned out even portions of the lumpy brown mixture that smelled like heaven and msg. Jinho was afraid he’d start drooling.

“Dinner’s ready!” Hongseok announced as he and Jinho brought the bowls into the living room. Hyunggu clapped from his seat on the floor with wide eyes. He eagerly accepted the bowl and chopsticks Jinho handed him and dug in without delay.

“It’s soooooo GOOD.” Jinho laughed at the younger boy, eyes scrunched shut like he was holding back tears as he ate. He and Hongseok piled into the couch and mixed their noodles so the sauce coated them completely.

“Thank you for the meal~” Jinho hummed before taking a bite. He groaned in satisfaction with his mouth full of noodles. Hongseok smiled at him before taking a bite of his own.

“I’m so sad we didn’t make enough for seconds.” Jinho mumbled through a mouthful of food.

“You just started eating and you’re already worried about seconds?” Hongseok chuckled.

“Yeah, because it’s so tasty I could die happy after a second helping.”

“Well, we technically made more than one portion for everyone with the amount of noodles we used. So you’re getting seconds at the same time as your first.” He reasoned.

“My diet is toast, but I don’t even care.” Hyunggu said between bites.

“Diets don’t exist after twelve.” Jinho told him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” Hongseok laughed. 

“Maybe that’s why my diets never work.” He replied with a cheesy grin. Hongseok elbowed him in the side playfully, amused by Jinho’s response. The oldest was just happy to be eating together again. Even with Hyunggu. It felt like a family dinner. Warm, friendly, and comfortable. 

 

Maybe a little too comfortable.

 

After they all finished their meal, they chatted about nothing for another hour, all of them unable to move from being so full. Eventually, Hyunggu gave up and forced himself off the floor. He didn’t want to sleep through his alarm in the morning from a food coma, so he told them both good night and headed to bed. 

Jinho and Hongseok stayed on the couch, quietly enjoying eachother’s warmth. Hongseok had his legs crossed and his empty bowl safely sitting in his lap as he leaned against Jinho. Jinho rested his head on Hongseok’s shoulder and felt the younger rest his head on his own in return. He let out a contented sigh as Jinho hummed in thought on his shoulder.

“What’s on your mind?” Hongseok softly asked. Jinho pursed his lips as he tried to put together the right words.

“I know it’s been two weeks...” He started. “And you agreed to give your answer soon, but maybe we should wait a bit longer?”

“You think so?” Hongseok yawned, nuzzling his face into Jinho’s hair, taking in the scent of his shampoo.

“I’m worried you’ll look bad if we start dating this soon.” He explained. Hongseok processed Jinho’s words for a moment before replying.

“I guess they might act weird about it, huh?” He said, his voice lower and softer.

“Mm. Maybe we should wait until after finals?” Jinho played with the loose string on Hongseok’s pajama pants. He couldn’t help but smile at the pink and black polka dot print.

“Won’t you have to move back home not long after finals are over?” Hongseok asked sadly. “I won’t get to see you then.”

“They found a part timer to help out at the restaurant for the summer, so they don’t really need me to come home. And I found a few jobs I could take over the summer while I try to find a studio to sign with.” Jinho answered. “I can stay here for the summer with Hyunggu, so we can still see each other.”

“Good.” Hongseok sighed. “I’d miss you too much.”

Jinho felt his cheeks get warm again. A smile slowly stretched across his face. He swore he could just melt right then and there. 

“Then are you okay with waiting that long?” Jinho eventually asked, once he wasn’t too flustered to speak. He waited for an answer, but when none came, he shifted to look up at Hongseok’s face only to find him fast asleep. God, was he soft for this man. Gently, he took his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie and set an alarm. He placed it beside him on the couch and leaned into Hongseok even further, allowing himself to melt into his side and fit perfectly.

He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

 

_____________

 

Once Hongseok was awake enough, they’d talked over their agreement a bit more. Wait until finals before making anything official, that was the deal. They both agreed it was best for their grades and decency towards Sanghyuk. However, cuddles and eating dinner together were not off limits.

Either way, the wait might have killed him had he not had finals as a distraction. By now, Hongseok only had one test left, and he was more ready to get it over with just to see Jinho than to actually pass the class. He hoped his grades wouldn’t suffer too much because of that. 

Studying was proving difficult at this point. The test was tomorrow, but he had the whole night ahead of him to go over his notes. Between being tired of staring at words on paper and on screens and his frustratingly long bangs poking him in the eyes, he didn’t want to study anymore. With a grumble he searched around his room for a hair tie to solve his hair issue. He managed to find one buried in the back of his desk drawer and tied his gangs up out of his face. Hongseok figured he probably looked ridiculous right now, but no one was around except his roommates to see, so it didn’t really matter. They’d definitely seen each other in worse.

Still not wanting to work, he picked up his phone and hovered his thumbs over the keyboard. He chewed on his lip, hesitating to send a message. Jinho was probably finishing up hos rearrangement he’d been working on all week. No matter how bad he felt about the possibility of interrupting him, they hadn’t talked at all in three days and he was getting a little lonely. It was just a text, if he was busy he wouldn’t have to reply right away.

 

From Hongseok:  
Jinho? You up?

 

He sat his phone back down on his desk and waited. He convinced himself that if Jinho didn’t reply in ten minutes, he’d be a good student and get back to work. After just three minutes, his phone dinged with a response from the older. Hongseok had an excuse to procrastinate a bit longer.

 

From Jinho:  
Yeah I’m still awake. Taking a break from studying?

From Hongseok:  
Yep. And I missed you :)

From Jinho:  
Stop that. Hyunggu has Yuto over, I don’t want them to catch me blushing.

From Hongseok:  
:(

From Hongseok:  
How’s the song rearrangement going?

From Jinho:  
I finished it earlier today

From Hongseok:  
Yay! So you’re all done then?

From Jinho:  
I’m reviewing all the tracks right now and making any last minute changes I think they need. Then all I have to do is input all the song info and send them off to the professor

From Hongseok:  
Soooooo.... when do you think that’ll be done?

From Jinho:  
I’m hoping to be finished by tomorrow night since it’s due by 11:59pm tomorrow. Otherwise I’d fail. I do not plan to fail.

From Hongseok:  
So after tomorrow are you all done? :D

From Jinho:  
Unfortunately not. Why do you ask? 

From Hongseok:  
:(((( I wanted to see you

From Jinho:  
Sorry, graduation preparation involves a lot more stuff than I expected

From Jinho:  
We have rehearsals and lectures before the real thing almost everyday

From Jinho:  
I won’t have the time to meet up until this weekend 

From Hongseok:  
That sucks. A lot.

From Jinho:  
I know, maybe we can sneak in a video chat or something?

From Hongseok:  
Yeah, but it’s just not the same

From Jinho:  
Here, I’ll send you a photo since you want to see me. but just as a warning I’m really bad at taking pictures of my face

From Jinho:  
IMG_026658.png

 

Hongseok grinned wide at the selfie Jinho had sent him. It was at a funny angle and was clearly taken in the bathroom, but he was smiling in an awkward but cute way. He loved it. And he most definitely saved it to his camera roll.

 

From Jinho:  
But you know, I miss seeing you too...

From Hongseok:  
Are you asking me to send you a selfie back?

From Jinho:  
I might be

 

Hongseok shook his head and smiled. 

 

From Hongseok:  
I’m ugly right now, are you okay with getting an ugly selfie?

From Jinho:  
I don’t think it’s possible for you to be ugly, so send away!

 

Hongseok swiveled in his chair to face the light and smiled at his phone, trying not to laugh at himself. Before he could decide he was too embarrassed, he quickly sent the photo.

 

From Jinho:  
I just snorted and now Hyunggu’s making fun of me

From Hongseok:  
How dare you laugh at my ugly selfie, that’s rude

From Jinho:  
I laughed because it was cute. Your hair is cute like that.

 

Hongseok chewed on his bottom lip, fighting back a smile.

 

From Hongseok:  
So you don’t think I’m ugly?

From Jinho:  
No, you’re cute

From Hongseok:  
I’m sorry, what was that? Could you repeat that?

From Jinho:  
I know what you’re doing you little shit

From Hongseok:  
Can’t I just enjoy being called cute?

From Jinho:  
Wait a few days and I’ll tell you in person ;)

From Jinho:  
Now go study 

From Hongseok:  
I’ll anticipate it :)

 

He sat his phone to the side and slumped back in his chair. Even just a quick conversation with Jinho through text was enough to make him happy. It was highly likely Hongseok would be smiling like an idiot for the rest of the night, but that was fine. Following Jinho’s orders, he rolled back up to his desk and grabbed his highlighter, ready to go over his notes for the millionth time today.

 

_____________

 

“I just asked the woman to trim my bangs but she chopped them off instead.” Jinho patted Hongseok’s shoulder as he recounted his terrible experience at the salon. They were piled into the same side of a booth at a small diner, neither of them wanting to sit across from each other. “I’m never trusting a new employee there again.”

“It’s not that bad. It’s cute. And it makes your face really round.” Jinho laughed, stealing the baseball cap off of Hongseok’s head. The younger flailed his arms in a n effort to get it back, but Jinho placed the hat on his own head and ruffled Hongseok’s now very short hair. It was just long enough for Jinho to bury his hands in, but not much longer. Hongseok surrendered with a pout. 

“It’s horrible.” He disagreed.

“No it’s not.” Jinho repeated. “Now we match! And I think it would look really nice styled up.”

“...you think so?” Hongseok asked, opinion swaying with Jinho’s encouragement.

“Yeah, if you pushed it up and over and curled it a little it would look really nice.” Jinho explained with a smile.

“I’ll try that out before I take a shower later and see.” Hongseok grinned sheepishly. “How’d your composition final go? I wanted to ask a couple days ago, but wanted to hear about it in person.”

“The professor loved it, you want to hear it?” Jinho asked, leaning against Hongseok. They were in the back corner, so he wasn’t too worried anyone would see them.

“I’ve wanted to listen to your whole album since you told me you were making it.” Hongseok admitted. Jinho softly punched him in the arm when he felt his cheeks heat up. As he tried to recover from getting flustered from Hongseok’s enthusiasm, he dug his headphones out of his bag and plugged them into his phone.

“Here you go, just press play.” Jinho handed his phone over to Hongseok, who accepted it happily. He watched as the younger put all of his focus into listening to what Jinho had created. 

The restaurant wasn’t busy around this time and it was still hours before they closed. The two had already finished their food, two hamburgers, a plate of cheese fries, and two pieces of pie at least fifteen minutes ago. Jinho had paid for the both of them, as consolation for Hongseok’s bad haircut experience. So now they were just enjoying eachother’s company before Jinho had to head back to the studio to clear out his files from the computer.

“This one...” Hongseok started. “Is this the rearrangement?”

Jinho looked down at the phone screen to see what was playing.

“You chose the song I sang for you?” Hongseok asked, looking intently at Jinho.

“I really liked the lyrics. And since you sang it, it made me think of you so I wanted to use it.” Jinho nodded. 

“It’s incredible. I can’t believe this is the same song.” Hongseok breathed, looking back down at the phone. Jinho’s heart swelled with pride. He’d worked incredibly hard on that one. Taking a slow, melancholy indie song and making it a bit more upbeat and jazzy was a challenge, but it paid off.

“It got me a job.”

Hongseok whipped his head around in surprise. He paused the music and pulled out an earbud.

“It got you a job?” He gasped. “What kind of a job?”

“The professor asked me to be his TA for the summer. Pays more than the minimum wage job I applied for just before finals.” Jinho grinned.

“Oh my god! That’s awesome!” Hongseok pulled Jinho into a hug. “What do you have to do as a TA? Just help people with composition and things?”

“Help the summer students with getting to know the equipment and software as well as songwriting and composing. I’ll mainly be working in the studio and being the person who watches over the sound booth and things while the students are using it.” Jinho mumbled against Hongseok’s chest, which his face was currently buried into because of the tight hug.

“That doesn’t sound too hard. I’m so proud!” Hongseok pressed his cheek against the top of Jinho’s head. Jinho could tell from the pressure from his cheek he was smiling.

“The best part is that I have access to the studio twenty four seven. I can keep writing and working on personal stuff over the summer.” 

“You better let me hear it all.” Hongseok demanded, but it came out more playful than serious.

“Of course.” Jinho laughed, patting Hongseok’s back. “Okay, now can you let me go? I can’t breathe.”

“Only if I get my hat back.” Hongseok told him. Jinho rolled his eyes and pulled the cap off his head. Hongseok pulled away as Jinho offered it back, happily placing it on his own head where it belonged. “Thank you.”

Jinho paused for a moment, debating whether or not to ask the question that’s been rattling around in his brain since he presented his songs to the professor in class. Hongseok raised an eyebrow at his silent staring.

“What’s that look for?” The younger asked. Jinho chewed on his lip for a couple seconds as he worked up the courage to answer.

“Are we...?” He vaguely asked waving his hands in front of him awkwardly.

“Are we... what?” Hongseok tilted his head, not getting what Jinho was trying to say.

“You know, us. We.” He mumbled, scratching at his neck. Why was this so difficult to ask? He could feel his face and the tips of his ears heat up. Confessing was one challenge, but asking Hongseok out was proving to be another.

“What... Oh. _We_. Are we starting now?” Hongseok finally realized what Jinho was getting at, pink slowly dusting his cheeks.

“Do you want to?” Jinho asked shyly. Being around Hongseok was comfortable. Talking to him was easy. So why was this so hard?

“What about you?” Hongseok countered, voice a bit breathy, as if he couldn’t believe this was happening. His eyes were wide and couldn’t stay away from Jinho’s flushed face. The older nodded hesitantly.

“I want to.” He answered eventually.

“Me too.” Hongseok said his a soft, flustered smile.

“So is this...”

“Our first date?”

“Yeah.”

“I think this counts.”

Stupid grins were plastered over their faces once the question was out in the open and answered. Despite being intently focused on Hongseok, Jinho caught the time on the old analog clock on the wall in front of them.

“Oh shit, I have to go get my files before the computer gets wiped.” He jumped up out of the booth and started gathering his things. Hongseok gave him a pout, but he pushed the bill of the younger’s cap downwards so he wouldn’t be tempted to stay. “I only have a few on there but they’re really important. I’ll see you later okay?”

“Fine, but text me later, okay?” Hongseok said, extending a hand with just his pinky and thumb stuck out. Jinho laughed at the cute gesture and wrapped his comparatively shorter pinky around his and touched their thumbs together.

“I promise.” He smiled before turning on his heel and running out onto the sidewalk. The music building was just a few blocks away, so he should be able to make it in time to get his files. The impending deadline to get them didn’t stop him from smiling like a love sick fool all the way there.

 

_____________

 

From Hongseok:  
Hyunggu, help. I want to plan a surprise graduation party for Jinho, how do I do this without him finding out?

From My Sweet Child:  
Aww that’s so sweet. You don’t live with him, so that’ll be pretty easy to do. It’s hard to hide decorations and food when you share an apartment.

From Hongseok:  
I mean... yeah I don’t live with him, but he’s over here often enough to catch on.

From My Sweet Child:  
What did you have in mind?

From Hongseok:  
I was thinking about taking him out to dinner with Changgu, Yan An, and I. You’re welcome to come too, but if we go somewhere that serves drinks they may not let you in...

From My Sweet Child:  
One thing’s for sure, you can never go wrong with food when it comes to Jinho. And it’s okay, I’m taking Jinho out for breakfast before graduation :)  
I don’t have to be at dinner too

From Hongseok:  
You’re an angel, did you know that?

From My Sweet Child:  
Multiple people have told me that, but I still can’t find my halo anywhere ;)

From Hongseok:  
You think he’d be okay with just a tavern then? But like... a high class tavern that serves more than just pretzels and beer cheese

From My Sweet Child:  
I have a feeling he’ll just be happy to drink after graduation XD but quality food is probably better for his stomach

From Hongseok:  
Okay, I’ll ask the guys if they want to go. 

From Hongseok:  
Thank you Hyunggu!

From My Sweet Child:  
I don’t think I really did anything, but you’re welcome Hongseokkie!

 

Hongseok took a deep breath and wandered out of his room to find his roommates. As usual, they were both piled on the couch, watching a movie with Chinese subtitles for Yan An in case something was said that he didn’t completely understand.

“Hey, can I ask you two something really quick?” He said, raising his voice a bit so he could be heard over the movie’s background music. Yan An paused it and peeked over the back of the couch. Changgu sat up from where he had been laying on top of a Yan An.

“What’s going on?” Changgu asked. “You sound nervous.”

“I want to surprise Jinho with a graduation dinner, just the four of us. I know Yan An is still a little... hostile towards Jinho, so I was afraid t ask.” Hongseok explained. Yan An pursed his lips when he found he couldn’t argue with Hongseok’s reasoning.

“Would we go out somewhere?” Changgu asked, seeming interested.

“Yeah, I was thinking about that one tavern that had the really good seafood pasta.” He nodded. Yan An’s eyebrows raised at the mention of the tavern.

“Oh, that sounds great!” Changgu exclaimed just before a thought hit him and his expression fell. “I haven’t been incredibly towards Jinho either... maybe we can use this dinner to make up for it.” He turned to face Yan An who looked like he was still mulling it over.

“He did cheer you up on your birthday... so I guess he isn’t really as bad as we thought.” The blond mumbled. Changgu clapped his hands together happily.

“Let’s do it.” He grinned up at Hongseok. He returned the smile and started suggesting times.

“The graduation is going to be at the big auditorium and ends around eight, so we could drive straight from there. If we made a reservation now, we wouldn’t have to wait. It would probably take around... what? Fifteen, twenty minutes to drive there?” He said, working out the math in his head.

“So maybe make the reservation for about eight thirty? Or maybe nine in case there’s traffic?” Changgu suggested.

“I’d say nine, just to be safe.” Yan An piped in. Hongseok nodded in agreement. 

“That’s probably our best bet.” Hongseok told him.

“I can try to call tomorrow since you two have an early shift at the daycare tomorrow.” Yan An offered, looking between the two.

“If you wouldn’t mind, that would be great.” Changgu smiled.

“The graduation is on Thursday next week, so be sure to make it for that day.” The eldest pointed out. “Otherwise you won’t get that seafood pasta.”

“I don’t think I can mess up that badly. You have no faith in me.” Yan An scoffed.

“I have faith in your desire to eat that pasta.” 

“Okay I guess that’s fair.”

 

_____________

 

“Hui. Hui. Hui.” Jinho repeated, sitting at the kitchen table of Hyojong and Hui’s shared apartment while the now brownish gray haired music major sat going through his school papers and sorting out what he did and didn’t need anymore.

“I know, you’re hungry and want to go eat. I’ll try to be quick. I want to finish this before I forget.” Hui mumbled, scanning over a page of hastily scribbled notes.

“No, no not that.” Jinho said, fiddling with his hands in his lap.

“Then what?” Hui looked up with a raised eyebrow.

“I technically asked Hongseok out.”

The grayish-brunette let his jaw drop in shock. Wit a shy grin, Jinho nodded to show he was telling the truth.

“You...you...” Hui stuttered. Jinho nodded again. “Not the other way around?”

“Nope.”

“What do you mean by technically? And when did this happen?” He asked, still in mild disbelief.

“It happened a few days ago. And I didn’t specifically ask if he’d go out with me but we both agreed to be more than friends now aaaaaand technically had our first date.” A blush crept up Jinho’s face as he explained.

“As long as there’s a clear agreement, I think it counts.” Hui grunted. “Congratulations on getting they guy, buddy.” He ruffled Jinho’s hair with a bright smile.

“Thanks for helping me through all of this.” He mumbled in return.

“I was just here to listen and make suggestions. I didn’t do as much as you think I did.” Hui disagreed, turning back to the pile of papers on the table. 

“But I wouldn’t have made it out of it as sane as I am without you.” Jinho countered.

“Was there really any sanity left in you to save?” Hui asked with a playful grin.

“Hey.” He retorted. “I might be depressed, but I’m not insane.”

“I’ve seen you at parties. The blackmail I have saved on my phone says otherwise.”

Before Jinho could say anything, the front door bust open with Hyojong waltzing in through it.

“Guess who I ran into on the way home?” He yelled happily.

“...who?” Hui asked flatly.

“Shinwonnie!” With That Hyojong pulled the tall lanky man into the apartment by the arm.

“Shinwon! It’s been forever since we saw you!” Hui greeted, standing up from the table to give their guest a hug.

“Sorry I’ve been so busy. I meant to stop by a few times while I was in the area, but never got the chance. It’s nice to see you guys.” He said, wrapping his long arms around the shorter man.

“It’s okay, you have like thirty jobs and all the credit hours our college allows a student to take per semester. We can’t be mad at you for being busy.” Jinho smiled, turning in his chair to wave hello.

“Jinho! You’re here too! I didn’t recognize you with that hair color. When did you dye it?” The tall man exclaimed, coming over to examine his friend’s rusty reddish brown hair once Hui released him from the hug.

“I dyed it for him back in... March I think?” Hyojong answered.

“Yeah I think it was after spring break.” Jinho agreed. “How’ve you been besides busy?”

“Lonely, honestly. All the friendly people in my major have all dropped out or gone to study abroad for a year or two. And I never get to see you guys anymore.” He pouted, broad shoulders drooping.

“You know you’re welcome here anytime, Shinwon.” Hui assured him with a pat on the back.

“I know, but I’m so busy between work and school and shows that I don’t have the time.” Shinwon whined. “I haven’t even had time to get a hair cut in almost six months. I regret going blonde. My roots are horrendous.”

“They... are pretty grown out.” Jinho admitted.

“You can always text us. Group chats are a thing for a reason.” Hyojong suggested, hopping up onto the table to sit. Hui scowled at him for sitting on his neat pile of syllabus packets from the past semester, but didn’t say anything.

“I know... but I’ve been using all my free time to sleep.” Shinwon confessed.

“You sleep?” Hyojong gasped. Admittedly, they were all thinking the same thing, but only Hyojong would have the guts to ask.

“Yes? Did you guys think I’m some robot or something? That’d be pretty freaking cool, but I’m not. I wish I was though.” He laughed.

“You just always seem to be awake and doing things.” Hui told him.

“And running your music review and recommendation blog and twitter through the night.” Jinho added.

“Oh yeah. Well. I sleep, but the amount of time I sleep shall remain undisclosed mainly because I don’t keep track of it.” He pursed his lips. “Enough about my mysterious sleep schedule, what’s new besides Jinho’s new hair?”

“You’re not going to say anything about my hair?” Hui asked, sticking his lower lip out.

“You’ve dyed your hair a few times so it’s not as surprising. I’ve learned to recognize you by other physical features.” Shinwon defended.

“We got a cat!” Hyojong screamed, running off to find Deborah.

“He finally broke you?” Shinwon asked Hui. The shorter crossed his arms in defeat and nodded.

“Here she is! Our furbaby, Deborah!” Hyojong announced as he returned to the kitchen with Deborah in his arms and a new set of scratches on his left hand.

“She’s so... big.” Shinwon simply stated, looking at the lump of fur in Hyojong’s arms.

“We might have spoiled her a little too much since we’ve had her.” Hui admitted.

“The vet said we have to cut back on treats or else we’ll have to buy the expensive diet cat food.” Hyojong told him.

“She’s fatter than when I last saw her.” Jinho said.

“That’s just. A lot of cat.” Shinwon breathed.

“She’s pretty friendly with strangers, unexpected but true. So you can pet her if you want.” Hui said. Shinwon’s eyes lit up and he took a few steps closer to let her sniff his hand. He did a funny little wiggle or dance, none of them were sure what it was, when Denorah started to rub her face against his hand after deciding he was okay. He scratched her behind the ears and practically melted when she started purring.

“I love her.” He said matter of factly.

“Then come visit more often!” Hyojong cackled, pulling Debbie away to kiss her on the head. “Then you can give her your love whenever you want.”

“This is bribery and I’m absolutely okay with that.” He told him with a smile.

“Oh, and another piece of news.” Hui chirped, side eying Jinho. “Jinho got himself a boyfriend.” Shinwon whipped his head around in shock and Hyojong’s face lit up with a smile. Jinho sputtered a bit at Hui’s announcement.

“Are they official now?” Hyojong asked eagerly. Hui nodded smugly. “Oh my god, they’re dating!” Shinwon gasped at Hyojong and back at Hui and at Jinho.

“I thought you were straight?!” He exclaimed, utterly confused. Jinho only blushed harder.

“Jinho had a sexuality crisis.” Hyojong laughed. “He met a cute sports medicine student who turned him gay.”

“Actually, he made him _realize_ he was gay, not turned him gay.” Hui clarified.

“But what about all those girls you dated??” Shinwon asked, still very confused.

“Turns out he likes fucking girls but isn’t romantically attracted to them.” Hyojong answered, petting Deborah lovingly.

“So you just dated them for sex?” Shinwon turned to Jinho. The eldest fidgeted in his seat, unsure how to answer, especially with everyone else in the room talking for him.

“I-I didn’t realize it at the time!” He stuttered. “I thought I liked them because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do.”

“But how did you realize you didn’t like them before now?”

“Because I hadn’t kissed a guy before now!” Jinho blurted out, quickly covering his face in embarrassment.

“You kissed a guy? And I didn’t hear about it until now? When did that happen?” Shinwon was nearly hysterical at this point. This was a lot to take in about his longtime friend he thought was ridiculously straight.

“In his defense, he was pretty intoxicated when it happened.” Hui said, with a small chuckle.

“But it had him questioning his entire life for nearly a month.” Hyojong reasoned, taking a seat on the floor.

“It happened right before spring break.” Hui continued. “The other boy confessed and kissed him, and our drunk little Jinho kissed him back.”

“I didn’t know why I did it at the time.” Jinho mumbled.

“And in a month or so, he started questioning his preferences.” 

“We helped him through his mid life crisis so he could get the boy of his dreams.” Hyojong added.

“And now he’s officially dating him as of a few days ago.”

“That’s... insane.” Shinwon breathed, a hand stuck in his hair as he took it all in.

“It was a wild ride.” Hyojong agreed.

As if on queue, Jinho’s phone buzzed on the table. Shinwon automatically looked at the screen as it lit up and caught the words “My Hongseok” in the notification.

“Oh my god.” He said. Hui’s eyes followed Shinwon’s just before Jinho could snatch the phone off the table and he burst into a fit of laughter.

“My Hongseok?” He cackled. “You have him saved in your contacts as ‘My Hongseok’?”

“He what? Lemme see.” Hyojong let go of Deborah and stood up, hovering over Jinho.

“No, we will not be looking at my phone.” Jinho said about as firmly as he could while his face was glowing red. A hand tickling his side made him Yelp in surprise and he nearly through his phone. Hui snatched it and unlocked it easily.

“You should change your password.” He told Jinho as if he hadn’t just broken into it.

“I wanna know what he looks like. Find a picture.” Shinwon told him.

“This dork.” Hui sputtered. He turned his head to look at Jinho. “You really saved the screenshot he sent showing he save you in his contacts as ‘My Jinho’? You’re unbelievable.”

“That’s so gross.” Hyojong fake gagged from behind Jinho.

“I didn’t think Jinho would be party of a mushy couple, this is so weird.” 

“You’re in luck Shinwon, this lovesick puppy saved a bunch of his man’s photos. Even the ugly ones.” Hui said, bringing Shinwon’s attention back to the phone screen.

“He’s definitely good looking...” Shinwon said. “I’m jealous of his face...”

“You’re seriously handsome too, though.” Hyojong told him.

“I guess, he’s just got a really nice, unique face. I’m pretty plain don’t you think?” 

“Hyojong’s right. I’ve always wondered why you never thought about modeling.” Hui answered. Jinho weakly nodded. Shinwon turned back to the phone screen, a bit flustered by the compliments.

“And the real kicker? This guy’s ripped.” Hyojong pointed out. “But Jinho’s still all soft so I doubt he’d have any shirtless pics of Hongseok saved yet. He might save some when he starts getting thirsty though.”

“Hyojong!” Jinho squeaked in embarrassment.

“But He has post workout pictures on his Instagram.” Hui smugly said, opening the app on Jinho’s phone.

“Please don’t do anything on there.” Jinho begged.

“I won’t. I’m just showing Shinwon your boyfriend’s Greek god body that me and Hyojong are jealous of.” Hui reassured him.

“That’s so embarrassing, oh my god.” Jinho mumbled as he buried his face in his hands once more.

“Shit, he _is_ ripped.” Shinwon breathed. “He makes me feel like a noodle in comparison.”

“You are a noodle, Shinwon. But you’ve got all of us beat when it comes to how broad your shoulders are.” Hui laughed.

“I’ve got at least one thing going for me then.” Shinwon joked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still sort of on hiatus, kind of... I have to start preparing to go back to school and things are slowly getting crazy. So no promises for when the next update will happen! But I’m not dead and neither is this love story! I might be dead by the second week of the fall semester though, so don’t count on steady updates after August 27th! They’ll happen, but very, very slowly.
> 
> Thank you for reading!<3
> 
> [EDIT]  
> Things keep getting worse for me every time they start to look up. I’m sorry my updates are so sporadic. I’m sorry I disappear often. I’m sorry I can’t hold it together to update frequently. I just found out today that I lost a friend I’ve known for over ten years. He’s gone and I’ve never had it hit me as hard as this. Not even when family members have died. I can’t bring myself to do anything right now but I desperately want something to distract myself with. The only thing I have that doesn’t remind me of him is KPop and this fic, so that’s what I’m grasping onto right now. I don’t know if there will be an update before the fall semester starts or not. Im still just trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone forever when he was alive and well and posting silly things on Facebook just two days ago.
> 
>  
> 
>    
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	12. Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still basically feel like garbage. But I did this. It’s unedited because I quite frankly don’t feel like it. My friend’s gone forever, my dog’s have heart conditions and their next vet bill is going to be insane, antis are still after Hyojong, and I don’t want to go back to college because my major is run by... a fool. 
> 
> Have a chapter that’s 87% filler because I can’t develop the plot while feeling like this honestly.

“You don’t look that bad.” Hyunggu whined.

“I’m telling you I look like a fifth grader graduating from primary school. I look stupid.” Jinho continued to argue.

“I helped you get ready and picked out your outfit for you, so I’m mildly offended.” The younger pouted, tying his bow tie for him for the third time today. He was starting to get frustrated with his older roommate, but it was his big day so Hyunggu did his best to hold it in.

“It’s not that, it’s the cap and gown. I feel like I’m being swallowed.” Jinho groaned, letting his shoulders slump. His cap was still dangling from his hand that hung at his side. The school didn’t allow for decorations on the cap, but Jinho still managed to stick his gold pins he received as rewards for good merit the past four years on his robe over his heart. 

“Can I slip in a few minutes with the college graduate?” A soft voice asked. Jinho looked up to see Hongseok smiling over Hyunggu’s shoulder. He tried his best not to gasp. He looked good. Really good. He wasn’t necessarily wearing anything too special, but it suited him almost too well. A dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with skinny white stripes, a simple silver chain necklace, black dress trousers, and a pair of suede oxfords was apparently all it took to leave Jinho in crisis. He settled on chewing on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying anything too embarrassing. 

“Hongseokkie! You came!” Hyunggu greeted as he turned with a smile. “Did Changgu and Yan An come with you?”

Hongseok nodded. “Yeah, they already found us some seats. You said five others were coming, right? We saved your seats and enough for the others.” 

“Oh thank goodness. I didn’t think we’d get to sit together! It’s so much more crowded than I was expecting!” The youngest dramatically exclaimed.

“We got seats in the section by that ice cream stall right next to the entrance. I can finish helping Jinho if you want to go grab your seat or help all the others find out spots.” Hongseok offered with a warm smile.

“Thank you so much. I’ll go drag Yuto and Wooseok away from the fountain outside. Hui and the others should be here soon. Thank you, Hongseok!” He called as he speed walked down the hall with a wave. The two shook their heads in amusement before catching each other’s eye again.

“Y-you look really good.” Jinho sputtered once Hyunggu was out of sight and earshot. Hongseok laughed and stepped closer, straightening his bow tie.

“So do you Mr. Bachelor’s in Composition and Music Production.” The warmth in the small smile on Hongseok’s lips made Jinho’s cheeks heat up.

“Thank you.” He replied, voice cracking halfway through. That turned Hongseok’s smile into a bright grin.

“So, does our college grad have any plans after this?” He asked, admiring his work with the tie, and maybe the pink dusting Jinho’s cheeks too.

“My parents couldn’t make it so Hyunggu and the others took me out for breakfast this morning. But I don’t have any plans for tonight... why do you ask?” Jinho lifted his eyes to meet Hongseok’s once more.

“I was hoping I could take you out for dinner and drinks afterwards.” Hongseok told him.

“J-just-just us two?” Jinho stuttered, already flustered at the thought of getting wine and dined by Hongseok.

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it? But Changgu and Yan An want to make up for their harsh feelings towards you, so they’re tagging along to apologize.” Hongseok sighed.

Jinho tried to hide his disappointment, but a thought crossed his mind.

“Do they... know about us?” He asked hesitantly. Hongseok gently shook his head.

“I haven’t told anyone yet and I won’t until you’re ready for people to know.” That warm smile was back on Hongseok’s face and Jinho could feel his heart melt. He stepped forward and pulled Hongseok into a hug, burying his face in his chest.

The sudden affection startled Hongseok and his eyes went wide. After a couple blinks of confusion, he wrapped his arms around Jinho and rested his chin on the crown of his head.

“Thank you.” Jinho murmured.

“Anything for you.” Hongseok replied quietly.

They let a few moments pass by like that before they pulled apart.

“It’s almost time for you to start lining up. Let’s get your cap on.” Hongseok smiled, taking the cap out of Jinho’s hand. Out of instinct, Jinho stood up straight and let the younger position it on his head. Carefully, he untucked a strand of hair here, another there, fixed his bangs, and stepped back with a look of admiration. “There. Now you look like a real graduate.”

“Thanks, Hongseok.” Jinho smiled back. An announcement rang over the loud speakers in the hallway for the students to take their positions. He gave Hongseok a small wave and made his way down the hall. Just in case, he looked back once before turning the corner just to be met with an embarrassing heart shaped hand gesture from Hongseok. His face felt like it was burning.

He found his group and fit into his assigned spot in line, finding regardless of how many rehearsals he’d had standing and sitting next to these people, they were still complete strangers to him. The wait felt long with no one to talk to, but he knew it wouldn’t last forever. 

As soon as the line started to move forward, it passed by in a blur. They walked to their seats in twos, stood and listened to a speech, sat, listened to a speech, stood once more, sat once more, stood again, then walked to the stage one by one to get their diplomas and sat back down. At some point Jinho caught sight of his friends in the crowd. It was hard to tell from this far away, but he could of sworn it looked like Hui was crying. He smiled to himself, knowing it was over how proud his friend was for him.

The walk to the stage felt more like some weird daze. He blinked and he was already back standing in from of his seat with an incredibly expensive piece of paper in his hands. Why did his eyes feel watery the next time he shot his eyes towards where everyone was sitting? He stood through one more long speech afterwards. His ears had started to tune out as he noticed Hongseok, staring straight at him with the biggest smile he could manage as he wiped tears from his eyes. 

“Congratulations to our students! You’re all now graduates!” 

Hats were thrown into the air all around him, but he was frozen. Everyone in the audience stood and clapped and whistled. Hyojong was parting hui on the back as he sobbed too hard to clap. Hyunggu, Changgu and Yan An were both clapping enthusiastically. Shinwon, Yuto and Wooseok were doing some weird deep voiced chant he couldn’t make out over the noise and fist pumping. And then there was Hongseok, with a smile so bright Jinho could see it from miles away. 

He didn’t realize he was crying until the other students started filing out of their seats to go to their families and friends. He looked around as he pulled himself out of his daze. Where were the stairs again? He needed to get to his friends. He needed to get to Hongseok.

Wiping his eyes, he made his way through the swarm of graduation robe clad students and through the crying and sniffling tangle of people out in the hall. Jinho did his best to look for the ice cream stall he knew would be close to the section they were seated at, but struggled to see over and past the ungodly tall group of people that seemed to be going in the same direction as him. Unsure what else to do, he followed them down the hall.

“Jinho!” A deep voice yelled from somewhere to his right. Over the crowd he could see Wooseok and Yan An waving him over. He choked out a sigh of relief and pushed through the crowd to get to them. He broke as soon as he could see all of them, running into the arms of whoever was closest, knocking his cap off his head. It just so happened to be Hui and the two practically sobbed their eyes out together, earning a big group hug from everyone else.

Once he’d cried as much as he needed to, everyone pulled away, proud smiles on their faces. Hyunggu stepped forward and placed the cap back on his head.

“Thanks, Hyunggu.” He smiled. He turned to the others with an ever wider grin. “Thank you guys. Really. Thank you for coming to this.”

“We were going to come whether you invited us or not!” Shinwon laughed, lightly punching Jinho in the shoulder. He chuckled back at the taller man, happy to see the others nod in agreement.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Hongseok breathed as he pulled Jinho in for another hug. He tried not to let his ears go as pink as his face was after crying, but it was a tough battle. He hugged Hongseok back, careful not to seem to enjoy it too much. The knowing look from Hyojong made him shoot a quick glare at the younger, blond boy. He pursed his lips and looked away quickly, feigning innocence at the sharp stare.

A half hour passed before they started to file out of the hallway and outside. One by one, his friends hugged him, congratulated him for the millionth time, and bid their goodbyes until it was just him, Hongseok, Changgu, and Yan An.

“So... where are we going for dinner?” He asked Hongseok.

The only thing Jinho got in reply was an excited smile and three men leading him towards a car. He wondered if he ought to be worried.

 

_____________

 

Jinho hadn’t intended to drink as much as he did. Really. It wasn’t his intention to get drunk on such a big day. But you see, the wine at this place was really great and the glasses were bigger than usual. His three glasses definitely counted as more than three glasses.

He was responsible, though. He spaced them out and ate something with every glass. A glass with the salad, a glass with the entree, and a glass with dessert. The whole meal took them around an hour and a half before they finished and chatted in the comfort of a full stomach. And he wasn’t _that_ drunk. Just drunk enough to lose his filter on the words that left his mouth. And maybe drunk enough to get a bit affectionate and sappy. But nothing more than that. Really.

“Can we get a couple more glasses of water?” Hongseok calmly asked the waiter. When she left to head towards the bar, he turned his head back to Jinho. “When you’re ready to go, just let me know, okay?” He told Jinho, running a hand up and down his back. He couldn’t help but t lean into the warm touch. 

“M’kay.” He sighed as he stretched his arms over his head. When he let them fall back to his sides, he let his body slump beside Hongseok, head resting on his shoulder. 

“A-ah does that mean yes? We can head out if you’re tired.” Hongseok said, risking a quit glance at Yan An and Changgu. Jinho stuck out his lower lip and shook his head. He wrapped an arm around Hongseok’s stomach and buried his face in his chest again, breathing in the scent of his eucalyptus scented cologne. 

“Hey, uh, Jinho? You okay?” Hongseok asked, a bit flustered at how cuddly Jinho was being in front of his roommates. “How much wine have you had?

“I’m so glad I met you” Jinho mumbled against the slick fabric Hongseok’s shirt. The younger chuckled at him nervously.

“What are you suddenly getting all mushy on me for?” He asked, ruffling Jinho’s hair. Changgu raised an eyebrow their way. 

“I’m not gonna leave you ever again.” He continued. “Never ever.”

“Jinho...” Hongseok breathed. 

“I was starting to think you’d stopped leading him on, but I guess not.” Yan An grumbled over his glass. “So much for making up.”

Jinho turned his head with an angry pout.

“Yan An, please don-“

“Leading him on?” Jinho said, raising his head. “You think I’m leading him on right now?”

“Well you don’t like men, so I don’t know what else you’d be doing right now.” Yan An countered. Changgu quietly watched, biting his lip. He wasn’t sure what side to take since it did look like Jinho was leading Hongseok on, but it was also his graduation dinner and they were in public. He’d rather they be anywhere else but in public while having this confrontation.

“What made you think I don’t like men?” Jinho retorted, disgust in his tone.

“You rejected Hongseok and told him you were straight. Are you saying that was a lie?” He scoffed, drinking the rest of his wine in one shot before sitting the glass back down on the table.

“I’m not a liar.” Jinho reasoned. 

“Oh? So then you are leading him on?” Yan An said in a sarcastically cheerful tone.

“I didn’t know I was in love with him then.”

Every one’s eyes at the table went wide except for Jinho’s.

“Jinho, are you su-“Hongseok started quietly, only to be interrupted by a shocked Changgu.

“You what?” He gaped.

“I was in love with Hongseok.” Jinho said, carefully enunciating each word as clearly as he could after multiple glasses of wine.

“...was? You?” Yan An mumbled, still in disbelief.

“ _Am._ ” Jinho corrected, squishing his cheek against Hongseok’s chest again. Hongseok’s wide eyes darted from one man to the next, lost for words. The other two blinked at Jinho in stunned silence.

“Oh my god what’s even going on.” Changgu said, holding his head in his hands and staring down at the table as if it had the answers.

“Hongseok? Is what he’s saying true? Or do you even know?” Yan An asked, finally regaining a the tiniest bit of his composure.

“I-I...” He looked down at Jinho and back up at the blond. 

“Go ahead.” Jinho said, not fully grasping the situation.

“I.. um...” Hongseok tried to find the words. “We...”

“You...?” Yan An raised his eyebrows.

The waitress wandered up to the table, looking a bit awkward at the sudden tension at the table. She quickly sat down the glasses of water and scuttled off. 

“We’re... dating... now.” Hongseok answered, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Dating?!” Changgu hissed in a whisper, surprised by the answer.

“Yeah.” Hongseok nodded.

“When... when did that happen?”

“We... just a few days ago.”

“But I thought... I thought Jinho was straight?”

“He... wasn’t. But he didn’t know that. At least until recently.”

“But what about Seungyeon? At the party? He seemed pretty interested then.”

“Just to sleep with her. That’s sounds really bad, actually.” Hongseok struggled for a not as awful explanation. “He’s not romantically attracted to girls. But he is... uh... this is weird to talk about in a restaurant. But he likes guys. He thought he was supposed to like girls so he pretended he did, but he didn’t know he actually liked guys. And then uh... we met and he sort of realized a month or so ago.”

“So he’s... not straight?”

“No?”

“Why did that sound like a question?”

“He’s not romantically straight.”

“This is just so weird, oh my god.” Changgu groaned, his head was starting to hurt from trying to process all of this.

“So you’re dating now.” Yan An stated, not really asking a question, just repeating it to try to make sense of it.

“Yes. As of a few days ago.”

“He’s my first boyfriend.” Jinho gasped, catching everyone’s attention. That extra wine was really starting to hit him now.

“..yes. He is.” Changgu said slowly. “And you’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Noooooooooo. I’m not drunk!” Jinho disagreed. “I only had three glasses of wine!”

“Three glasses here is closer to five any where else, he’s drunk.” Changgu said flatly. “We should take him home. My head hurts and I want to go to bed this is too much to think about.” He waved his hands in surrender and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Hongseok asked, confused.

“To pay the bill. You can pay me back later, I want to go home.” Changgu said, turning on his heel to head towards the bar to pay. Yan An watched him go and then turned back to Hongseok.

“He really likes men?” He asked once more. Hongseok sighed.

“Yes. If you want more proof I can give you Hui’s number. He was the one who sobbed during the whole ceremony earlier. He’s Jinho’s childhood friend and just so happened to be the first one he went to when he realized.” Hongseok clarified. 

“This feels like some ridiculous drama but instead of the gay character turning out to be straight, but it’s the other way around.” Yan An mumbled, resting his forehead in his hand.

 

_____________

 

“Ooooooh my god.” Jinho groaned when he woke up.

“I know, but just go back to sleep.” Hongseok drowsily grumbled beside him.

Oh.

_Beside him._

He was in Hongseok’s bed.

His cheeks flushed. He didn’t drink enough to black out or forget anything. He knows they didn’t do anything and clearly remembered all the ridiculous things he said at the restaurant and... unfortunately in the car as well. But _still_ , he was in Hongseok’s bed.

They’d all been driven home by Changgu, who had passed on the wine and offered to be the designated driver at the beginning of the night. Hongseok had offered to call Hyunggu to come pick him up, but Jinho refused. So, he ended up being given a pair of oversized pajamas and a shirt that was so large it hung off one shoulder to sleep in. He didn’t complain since he knew they were Hongseok’s. Changgu was the shortest of the three, but he couldn’t have been bothered for a spare set of clothes for Jinho to borrow. Even though his may have fit Jinho a bit better, he was the first to head to bed and refused to come out until morning.

Now here he was. Squished in beside Hongseok on a twin bed at... what did the clock say? Was it really only five in the morning? He turned his head to look at Hongseok. He was laying with his back pressed against Jinho’s, wrapped up in the blankets. Jinho looked down at his uncovered legs. Maybe it was a good thing the pajama pants were longer than his legs after all. Now that he looked at them, they were the pair he’d seen Hongseok wear the most. The plaid flannel pants with a small hole just above the hem of the left leg. It shouldn’t have made Jinho as happy as it did to realize he was wearing them, but it did. 

It felt strange to share a bed. Size wise, it was no different than sharing the couch back in Jinho’s’ apartment. But it was different than the couch. It was a bed. That he knew was Hongseok’s and only Hongseok slept in it. It was easy to accidentally fall asleep together on a couch. It happened between friends, strangers, anyone. But a bed was different. Sharing a bed was reserved for sleepovers when he was little or for whoever he was dating.

And he was dating Hongseok.

Wearing his pajama pants and T-shirt.

And _shit_. Now Yan An and Changgu knew.

And suddenly, Jinho was scared of what they thought about the whole thing.

“Do you think they hate me even more now?” He quietly asked. He heard Hongseok sigh before he rolled over and snaked his arms around Jinho’s waist.

“I don’t know, but it’s too early. Don’t think about it right now and just go back to sleep.” He mumbled into Jinho’s hair. 

That was easier said than done.

Especially with Hongseok’s warm breath against his neck. 

“I don’t think I can.” Jinho admitted.

“Just try.” Hongseok breathed, already dozing off again.

“No no, I mean I can’t.” Jinho insisted. Hongseok sighed in drowsy frustration.

“Why not? What’s wrong?”

“This.” 

Hongseok lifted his head cracked open his tired eyes to look at Jinho in confusion.

“What do you mean this?” He asked.

“We’ve... never shared a bed before.” Jinho replied, shrinking in on himself.

“Is it too much? Do you want me to-“

“No! No. I know your going to offer to sleep somewhere else. But don’t.” Jinho said quietly, turning his head to look up at Hongseok. “It’s a lot, but... it’s nice? But I can’t fall asleep with... your arms around me.”

“Oh, Sorry.” Hongseok breathed, pulling his arms away. “I didn’t think it would bother you since we’ve slept like that before.”

“On a couch.” Jinho pointed out. “I’m just... what’s the word... flustered? It’s making my heart race right now and I can’t sleep.”

Hongseok let out a single breathy, amused huff of air.

“I’m making your heart race too much for you to sleep?” He asked Jinho, lids still heavy.

“...yes.”

“God, you’re so cute.” Hongseok chuckled, pulling Jinho back towards him by the waist. He nuzzled against Jinho’s neck and breathed in a deep, contented breath.

“H-Hey!” Jinho softly hissed, cheeks glowing red in the dim room. “I’m telling you I can’t sleep if my heart is beating this fast!”

“Then I guess I’m never letting you sleep again.” Hongseok cooed into Jinho’s ear. The smaller covered his face with his hands to hide his embarrassment. To think just a few months ago, he never would have thought a man could make his heart race like this.

“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” Hongseok hummed, spooning Jinho even closer than before. He could feel the top of the younger’s thighs pressed against the back of his through the flannel pajamas. Hongseok’s chest rose and fell against his spine and shoulder blades and his arms were wrapped warm and tight around his waist. He could feel the pads of Hongseok’s fingers gently pressing into his sides through the thin cotton fabric of his shirt.

Jinho felt like his heart was going to explode.

 

_____________

 

“So how did...” Yan an waved his hands between Hongseok and Jinho. “... _This_ happen?”

Hongseok nervously met eyes with Jinho and turned back to his roommates.

“He uh... asked me out during lunch one day.” Hongseok honestly said.

“No I _mean_ how did Jinho manage to decide he wasn’t completely straight and that he wanted to date you and how you agreed even after everything that happened.” Yan An clarified in a frustrated grumble. “Now that there’s no wine getting in the way, I want a better explanation.”

Jinho pursed his lips, unsure where to start.

“The party?” He shrugged.

“What about the party? Which one?” Changgu asked, cocking his head to the side.

“The one before spring break, after midterms.” Jinho answered.

“But what about it?” Yan An grumbled, trying to get a clear answer out of the eldest.

“That’s when we kissed.”

“Yeah but why are you bringing that up?”

“Because I think that’s what made me start to realize I didn’t hate it.”

“Hate kissing Hongseok?”

“No, liking guys. That maybe I was wrong and didn’t actually like girls.”

“So you knew since then?”

“No, but I think that was what initiated the slow discovery.”

“Then when did you realize?”

“I can’t remember if it was right before or right after Hongseok started dating Sanghyuk.”

“That’s... actually a while afterwards. You must have really thought about it...” Changgu mused thoughtfully.

Hongseok felt like he’d just watched a tennis match from turning his head between Jinho and Yan An. He felt a little dizzy and nervous.

“Hui really helped me through it. It was a much longer process than I realized. I didn’t understand it since I’d apparently never actually had romantic feelings for a girl.” Jinho nodded, leaning back in his chair.

“So... never? Not even once, after all this time?” Changgu leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

“Nope. I never had those butterflies people talked about until I met Hongseok.” He explained, then chewed on his lip before adding, “And it’s... weird to admit, but I liked the sex part of dating girls but didn’t feel much more than that.”

“Aah... So there was sexual attraction but no romantic attraction? I guess that makes more sense.” Yan An said, running a hand through his blond hair. Jinho nodded his head.

“I didn’t know there was a difference until recently. I never paid attention since I thought it was just something... non-straight people felt. I mean, turns out I wasn’t straight anyway... but I just hadn’t considered it before. All the things I felt towards Hongseok were so much different.” Jinho rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, pink dusting his cheeks. Hongseok was also sporting a light blush beside him.

“I’m glad you worked it out eventually.” Changgu hummed with a smile on his face that made his cheeks big and round. 

“Me too. I don’t know if I could have made it through the semester without Hongseok, so I’m just glad I didn’t figure it out too late.” He peeked up at the taller man beside him through his lashes as he said the last part. Hongseok was too flustered to meet his gaze.

“That was so sweet and genuine.” Changgu pouted from the cuteness. “You even made Hongseok the panicked gay for once.” Yan An chuckled beside him.

“I-I’m not panicked!” Hongseok retorted, blush saying otherwise.

“You look like a stuttering tomato right now.” Yan An laughed. Jinho couldn’t help but swell with a bit of pride at being the reason Hongseok was acting that way. Clearly outnumbered, Hongseok slumped his shoulders in defeat.

The tension Jinho had felt from Hongseok’s roommate’s was slowly dissipating. The sharp stares and clipped words became less frequent until they were fully replaced with laughter and smiles. After explaining a bit further how everything happened, and skillfully avoiding the true time he confessed to Hongseok, he won their silent approval. 

That was all he could ask for.

 

_____________

 

Weeks went by and things continued to go right. 

Yan An and Changgu forgave Jinho for everything, now understanding he was working through it all and that it’s hard to make the right decisions when you don’t know what they are.

Jinho started his TA position and got a reasonably sized check at the end of each week that covered rent, groceries, and still left him with extra spending money.

He had inspiration and ideas for new songs as well as full time access to all the equipment necessary to make them.

His parent’s restaurant was reviewed by a popular local food critic and business was starting to pick up.

Hongseok texted him to inform him Wooyoung, the scumbag who posted the video from the party and tormented him for over a month after, was finally facing charges for what he’d done. 

They threw a party to celebrate at Hongseok’s apartment that night and fell asleep together on the couch in bliss.

But best of all? He was officially Hongseok’s and Hongseok was his. 

It wasn’t always everyday that they got to see each other and sometimes it was just for a few minutes or through video call, but they were together nonetheless. They tried their best to eat lunch together through the work week and cook a meal for dinner at least once day over the weekends. Jinho wasn’t sure who loved them cooking together more, him, or Hyunggu when dinner was cooked at their shared apartment. Every chance they had, they fell into the pattern of sleeping at Hongseok’s apartment one night, then Jinho’s the next, and repeat so long as their schedule allowed.

However, oddly enough, they didn’t have their first kiss until two weeks after Jinho’s graduation. Both of them were afraid to make the first move. Hongseok was worried he’d make a move too soon or at the wrong time. Jinho was afraid the moment would be right, but he’d be too short to initiate it. That stopped either from making the first move, until two weeks later.

It happened in the laundromat parking lot one night after they had done a few loads together to pass the time. They had both just loaded up their laundry baskets and climbed into Hongseok’s car. Jinho mindlessly buckled himself into the passenger seat and looked over at Hongseok. The younger had just started up the car and was still trying to find the buckle that had managed to wedge itself deep into his seat.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but Hongseok looked great today. _Really_ great. He wasn’t dressed up or wearing foundation or anything. He hadn’t even styled his hair. But there was just something about the way Hongseok looked in his tacky thrift store t-shirts that made Jinho’s cheeks feel warm. Maybe it was the fact that he was dressed in a similar fashion when they first met? Tonight he had a gray zip up hoodie that was a size or two too large and hung off one shoulder and those Adidas track pants that hugged his legs just the right amount. The yellow light from the street lamp outside made his skin glow with a warm golden light that made it look inviting enough to touch. Jinho wanted to punch himself when the first thought that came to mind was that he looked like an angel in casual clothes. 

Before he could fall in too deep, Hongseok finally got himself buckled in and brought his hands to the steering wheel. He turned to Jinho, taking a breath to say something but stopped when he noticed Jinho already staring at him. The younger sat there silently with his lips slightly parted. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” He asked slowly, quietly even when they were alone in the only car in the parking lot. Jinho was sure Hongseok felt it now. Whatever it was Jinho had been feeling during this whole trip. That weird tension in the air mingled with the comfort of being near one another. Wordlessly, Jinho took hold of the exposed sleeve of Hongseok’s t-shirt and pulled him closer.

He hesitated when their faces were centimeters apart, feeling Hongseok’s shaky, surprised breath brush over his skin. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he leaned forward and closed his eyes.

He tasted sweet, like the melon soda from the vending machine in the laundromat and his lips were slightly chapped.

The kiss was soft and gentle, lasting just a few moments before Jinho pulled away. His eyes fluttered open to meet Hongseok’s dazed expression. The younger’s eyes were round and the tips of his ears had turned red. Just as Jinho was about to worry he’d made a mistake, he felt Hongseok’s hand at the back of his neck and their lips meet again.

They took it slow, no heat, no hunger. Lips lazily slid against each other and fingers brushed over cheeks and tangled in thick hair. It was different from their first kiss. It wasn’t desperate and sloppy, it was careful and hesitant as they tested the waters of a kiss with no alcohol involved. Jinho couldn’t stop the upward curl of the corners of his mouth. He tugged at Hongseok’s sleeve when his lips wandered to the corner of Jinho’s mouth and back. 

The AC was starting to raise goosebumps on Jinho’s arms, so he hooked them around Hongseok’s neck to move them out of the path of the cold air. Now that he wasn’t drunk and full of conflicted thoughts, Jinho could fully enjoy the feeling of kissing Hongseok. Their mouths fit against each other perfectly. He angled his head slightly, just to deepen the kiss. Hongseok ran a thumb over the older’s jawline, shifting a bit to keep his hand at the back of Jinho’s neck.

At some point, he’d forgotten breathing was a necessary thing to do and started to get lightheaded. He broke apart just far enough to try and catch his breath. He closed his eyes for just a second and felt Hongseok rest their foreheads together. When he blinked them back open, Hongseok was breathing heavily with a subtle smile on his lips. He squeezed Jinho’s cheeks with a breathy chuckle when their eyes met.

“Did I do okay?” Jinho asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” Hongseok breathed, staring at Jinho’s flushed cheeks and pink lips. “You did well.”

“When we catch our breath... can I kiss you again?” He asked shyly.

“Absolutely.”

 

_____________

 

Hongseok felt guilty for letting his mind drift off at work the next day. It was hard to keep track of toddlers when all he could think of was how great that kiss with Jinho had been. It was the first time they’d kissed since the party and it only made him realize he wanted to do it more often. A _lot_ more often. He brushed his thumb over his bottom lip as he thought about it. A shrill cry from a little girl ripped him away from his thoughts before his cheeks could take on a pink tint.

“Teacher Hongseooook! Teacher!” The little girl cried, running over to where he was sitting on a pile of foam mats. She wrapped her tiny arms around him and cried into his apron.

“Hey, hey. Nayoungie what’s wrong?” He asked, patting the sobbing girl on the back gently.

“Yein pushed me! He pushed me and I fell on the floor!” She whined, jabbing an accusatory finger at a little boy standing a few feet away holding a stuffed dog.

“Yein? Did you push little Nayoungie?” Hongseok asked the boy softly, knowing all too well that kids aren’t always truthful.

“She tried to take my puppy!” Yein told him, hugging the doll close to his body. Hongseok sighed and looked down at the sniffling little girl.

“Is that true, Nayoung? Did you try to take the puppy?” He watched as she paused and looked up at him with big round eyes, then at Yein, and back up to Hongseok.

“I told him it was my turn to play and he wouldn’t give it.” Her little eyes looked so sad, Hongseok felt his heart sink. 

“So it was your turn to play? It he wouldn’t let you have the puppy?” Hongseok repeated. Nayoung nodded her head, making her short little pigtails bounce on either side of her head. He turned back to Yein who was already pouting in defeat.

“Yein, you can play with the puppy a little longer, but then you have to let Nayoung have it, okay? Now can you say sorry and give her a hug? It’s not nice to push people.” Hongseok sweetly asked. Reluctantly, Yein nodded and padded over in his little sock feet.

“I’m sorry, Nayoung. I won’t push you anymore.” He told her. She rubbed her eyes and extended her arms for a hug. They squeezed each other with a little wiggle until they were both smiling and giggling. 

“Can we play with the puppy together?” Nayoung asked Hongseok.

“If it’s okay with Yein, you can play together.” He nodded.

“Can we both play with the puppy, Yein?” She asked as she turned around. He happily bounced his head in a nod and held the stuffed dog out to her. Hongseok smiled and rested his chin in his hand. It was cute, how easy kids worked things out. They forgive and forget like nothing happened and just keep playing. If only things could be that easy when you grow up. To just get over things and not let them bother you or keep you from moving on.

He let out another sigh and pushed himself onto his feet. It was almost snack time for the kids. They still had about ten minutes left, but he still needed to gather everything up on the cart. What was it today? Today was... Thursday so that meant yogurt, nuts, fruit slices and rice snacks. He was thankful the yogurt came in small pouches now. Giving four and five year olds cups of yogurt would just be a mess waiting to happen. 

He checked the time on the clock hanging above the classroom door. Hongseok did a quick scan of the room to make sure everyone was still behaving and no one was crying. The other staff member assigned to this class, Eunbin, was sitting in the corner with a pair of twin sisters sitting in her lap reading them a story about three hungry bears. She made up voices for each one and asked the girls to growl when they saw the big mean black bear who kept stealing the other’s food. 

“Eunbin, I’m going to go get the snacks. Can you keep track of the kids?” He asked softly as he approached her. The two girls looked up at him with big round eyes at the mention of snacks.

“Of course. I’ve got it covered!” She chirped happily. She gave him a big reassuring grin and waved him off so they could finish the story.

Hongseok shook his head with a smile and picked his way through the children and out of the room. The kitchen was at the end of the hall, conveniently labeled as such with colorful chipboard letters strung above the door. Another teacher pushed through its doors, wheeling a small cart filled with goodies for the kids to their classroom. They gave Hongseok a friendly wave and he returned it happily. When he reached the kitchen, Yujin was helping another teacher load up a bright pink plastic cart. 

“Ah Hongseok, just in time.” She beamed, placing the last tiny cup of rice snacks on the top shelf of the cart. “Roll a cart over.”

Hongseok looked around, most of the carts were gone already. Fortunately, the last two were tucked away behind a counter. He pulled one over and started to load it up alongside Yujin. She hummed at him with a knowing smile.

“You seem to be doing well lately.” She casually pointed out. “You seem happier.” A shy smile stretched over Hongseok’s lips.

“Yeah, I’m doing well. Really well.” Thinking about the reason he was doing really well made him fumble and almost knock a whole row of cups of fruit slices off the top of the cart.

“So who’s the lucky person making Teacher Hongseok so happy?” Yujin asked, watching him expectantly. Hongseok scratched at the back of his neck, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Ah, how’d you guess it was a person that was making me happy?” He laughed, doing his best to not make it sound awkward.

“You’ve just got this glow about you. Seungyeon had it when she and a Yeeun started dating. It’s really cute. You must like them a lot.” She explained, getting back to the rice snacks.

“Really? I never really thought I had a _glow_. But he does make me happy, and it’s so cheesy, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with a guy than him.” He admitted, counting the little snack filled cups and yogurt pouches.

“I’m happy for you. You deserve someone like that.” She told him. “You had it rough for a while.”

“Thank you.” Hongseok smiled back, full of warmth. He gave her a small bow and rolled the snack cart out into the hall. He couldn’t help but smile to himself. Knowing he had a nice job, great friends, an adorable loving boyfriend, and just one more year of school ahead of him felt incredible. There was no way he could be any happier.

 

_____________

 

“Hui, we gotta talk.” Jinho said as soon as he entered the recording studio. Hui swiveled around in his chair at the sound board and raised an eyebrow at him. The class Jinho was TAing for just let out and Hui had texted him earlier that he’d be in the sound room once it was vacant.

“What is it this time? Did the kids spill coffee on the mic again?” He asked, resting his elbow on the edge of the sound board, careful not to hit any dials or buttons.

“No, it’s not related to those little heathens this time.” He shook his head and pulled a chair over. Once he plopped down into it and dropped his bag on the floor beside him, he clapped his hands together and leaned forward. A cheesy grin was plastered across his face. Hui wasn’t sure what was scarier, the phrase “we gotta talk” or the weird excited grin Jinho was giving him. 

“Then what is it?” He asked, eyebrow raising even higher.

“I made out for the first time with Hongseok in his car last night.” Jinho nearly squealed. His shoulders rose in giddiness until they touched his earlobes and he did a little excited wiggle in his chair. Hui blinked at him, unsure how to respond.

“Okay So first, you look like a middle school girl that just had their first kiss, second, is this seriously your first kiss since you started dating Hongseok?” Hui raised a finger with each point. Jinho shrunk back a little at the second one.

“I mean we kissed at the party before sprin-“

“That one doesn’t count. You weren’t dating and you were drunk.”

“Okay. So ... um... yes, it is our first kiss?” Jinho twiddled his thumbs in his lap and pursed his lips. Hui leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, looking absolutely astonished.

“That’s so hard to believe. Until now it was unsurprising for you to already be sucking face the first day. But it took you this long just to kiss Hongseok?”

“Well... yeah.” Jinho answered plainly. “But, I mean, we were both still sorta scared to since everything went crazy the last time we kissed so is it that weird?” 

“No, it’s not weird, it’s just weird for you if I compare it to your past relationships.” Hui explained. 

“Okay, you have a point.” Jinho surrendered.

“But congrats, you got your first makeout session with your boy. I’m sure it felt great after waiting so long.” Hui smiled. He felt sort of proud in an odd way. Like watching his child find the love of his life, except Jinho’s definitely not his son and it would be weird for the dad to be younger than the child. He shook off the thought when he saw the older’s pink dusted cheeks.

“It was great.” He answered with a giddy chuckle. 

“I’m happy for you, but I honestly don’t know what you want me to say now.” Hui told him.

“I don’t know either. I honestly just came to tell you because you were the only person around who’d care and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I gotta go meet Hongseok for dinner soon anyway.” Jinho giggled.

“You’re... such a dork.” Hui said with a soft pat of Jinho’s head and a warm smile. “Now leave me alone, I gotta write a jingle for an organic market downtown.” He gave him a soft bat on the ear and shooed him away. Jinho laughed at his gentle attempt at violence and did as he was told.

“See you later, Hui!” He called as he threw himself through the doorway.

 

 

He wasn’t expecting what he walked into when he got home to drop off his things. Maybe walked into is a little strong, it was more like what he _heard_ when he walked through the door.

As soon as he stepped through the front door and pulled his keys out of the lock, he heard the latter half of a strangled moan through the wall to his left. For a good few seconds he was frozen in shock. He hadn’t warned Hyunggu that the professor canceled the afternoon classes today so he could get to a doctor’s appointment. 

“Hyunggu, _oh god_ , w-wait.” 

He could recognize that deep raspy voice anywhere after hearing it nearly every other day for an entire semester. Was... did... did Yuto finally agree to...? His shoes were in the entry way, and so were a few articles of clothing.

“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” He heard a softer voice ask, muffled through the layers of dry wall. That was absolutely Hyunggu’s voice. They were definitely both in Hyunggu’s room. He tried really hard not to think about what they were most likely doing in there.

“I heard the front door open. I thought Jinho wasn’t getting back until eight?” Yuto’s voice sounded breathy but panicked.

“He’s not, his class doesn’t end until eight so he’ll probably come back even later than that. Don’t worry, everything’s fine.” 

Jinho’s eyes darted around the kitchen. He had a few different options here. Firstly, he could leave and pretend he never came home or heard them. Second, he could stay as quiet as possible, drop off his backpack, and pack a bag to stay at Hongseok’s so he can avoid the... happy couple in the other room for the rest of the night. Third, since he know’s how easily flustered Yuto is, he could get revenge on Hyunggu for all the times Jinho’s felt awkward walking in on him. Something about that last one was really appealing. He decided to combine the last two options.

When he heard a low groan through the wall, he took it as his signal to make Yuto panicked again. He plopped his keys onto the kitchen counter. He’s no linguist, and his Japanese doesn’t go much farther than “kawaii”, “konnichiwa”, and “sushi”, but he’s pretty sure he heard a Japanese expletive come from the other room.

“What was that?” He hissed, at who Jinho hoped was Hyunggu, but he could never be sure.

“Oh? What, this?” Hyunggu’s voice replied. Jinho felt kinda creeped out hearing Hyunggu’s voice in a not so sweet and innocent tone. Another foreign curse word slipped out of Yuto from the other side of the wall. 

And was... was that a whimper? Did Yuto whimper just now?

“N-no! Not that. Fuck. Not that.” The deeper voice sounded desperate at this point. “Keys. I swear I heard keys.”

“Yuto, please. If you want me to stop you don’t have to make up excuses just tell me you want to stop.”

“No! That’s... no, I don’t... I just really think Jinho might be home, okay? And it’s freaking me out! What if he can hear us? I haven’t... exactly been... _quiet_.”

Jinho pursed his lips. Yuto wasn’t wrong. Giving them a short break from the torment, he creeped back into his room to drop off his bag and pack his dufflebag with clothes and whatever he thought seemed necessary to bring at the moment. He apparently needed a pack of pens along with his pajamas because they got thrown in the bag too. Satisfied with his sloppy packing job, he slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out into the living room and stared at Hyunggu’s closed bedroom door. 

He guessed Hyunggu had once again convinced Yuto he hadn’t arrived home surprisingly early once more, because he heard another long low moan slip under the door. He scrunched his face in disgust. At this point he thought of them both as little brothers that were unfairly taller than him, so this was just weird. 

Now was his chance. 

Jinho padded up to Hyunggu’s door and knocked loudly between the rated R noises coming from inside the room. 

“I TOLD YOU!” Yuto whisper screamed, not as quietly as he thought he did.

“Hey, The professor cancelled the afternoon class so I came home early to drop off my bag. I’m gonna go grab dinner with Hongseok. Go easy on the poor kid Hyunggu, he sounds a little shy.” Jinho yelled through the thick dark wood of the door. 

“Oh my god, I wanna go home.” He could barely hear Yuto say.

“See you two later, hopefully fully clothed!” Jinho finished and turned around to head for the kitchen. He grabbed his keys, patted his back pocket to make sure he had his wallet, and opened the door.

“Yuto, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you this is so embarrassing.” Hyunggu groaned. Jinho laughed quietly and squeezed through the doorway with his duffle bag. He wouldn’t admit it out of pride, but even with a smug smile of victory plastered on his face, his cheeks were still bright red in embarrassment.

That’ll teach him not to sin in their apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m finally able to not cry every time I look at anything, so I’m available to talk to over on tumblr @ a-tt-acus. My queue is down because I don’t feel like fixing it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, please never stop supporting OT10.  
> Goodnight, I’ll post another chapter eventually
> 
>  
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	13. Humility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t got a clue what tf I’m doing. But here’s... the closest I’ll ever get to smut, hello. It’s vague and I don’t even mention like... anything but kissing but.... woo. Things happen.
> 
> And uh... nobody asked for it, but drunk monopoly makes its return in this chapter just a little less tipsy.
> 
> [Chapter now edited!]

“How long has it been now?”

“How long we’ve been dating?”

“Yeah.”

“What... around two months, I think?” 

Jinho, Hongseok, and his two roommates all sat around the coffee table in the living room. An all but abandoned game of monopoly was spread over the table top. They’d gotten distracted when Changgu started chatting to pass the time as they waited for Hongseok to deal out the money at the end of Yan An’s turn. The blond had snagged all the high paying squares on the board and it took a while to get his earnings counted. Somewhere halfway through, Hongseok gave up on the brightly colored bills and joined the chatter.

“Wow, two months already?” Changgu mused, swirling the cheap mimosa Yan An had made him in a mug with paw prints all over it. What was a game of monopoly without a little alcohol anyway? “It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.”

“It really doesn’t.” Jinho hummed before taking a drink from his can of beer. The memory of his last drunken monopoly hangover was still a bit too vivid, so he drank more carefully this time around.

“Happy two month anniversary, you two.” Changgu smiled. Jinho thanked him with a blush.

“I mean time flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it?” Yan An said with a sly smile. Jinho didn’t know why exactly he blushed, but a side glance at Hongseok told him he wasn’t the only one.

“Oh? What’s this? Have you two already...?” Changgu chirped, trailing off and letting his wiggling eyebrows finish the question.

“No!” They both quickly answered, looking at each other in surprise.

“That... was kind of suspicious, but okay.” Yan An narrowed his eyes at the couple, but dropped the accusation. Jinho chugged the rest of his beer to avoid further questioning.

“But... do you, um, have any experience?” Changgu shyly started. Jinho sputtered, spilling a bit of the alcohol onto his pants.

“Ex-experience with what?!” He stuttered, voice cracking. Hongseok frantically picked up the stacks of money again, pretending like he was counting it out. He didn’t even remember how much he was supposed to give Yan An at this point. If this was real money he’d be arrested for accidental fraud.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Yan An cackled. 

“Don’t let that scare you away. Hongseok’s had plenty, he’ll teach you.” Changgu waved away Yan An’s incoming teasing as he comforted Jinho. To the eldest, that wasn’t really comforting at all.

“Oh, like you would know.” Yan An playfully scoffed. It was Changgu’s turn to turn red in the face. Hongseok collapsed onto the tabletop, groaning and spilling the game pieces onto the floor. Brightly colored fake money fluttered onto the carpet.

“I-I’m his best friend. Of course I’d know! We-we talk about everything!” Changgu shakily countered, not meeting Yan An’s knowing gaze. He turned his head to Jinho with a wicked grin. He felt his heart suddenly and unexplainably drop.

“You don’t know do you?” The blond asked.

“Yan An, dont you-“ Changgu interrupted, being silenced halfway by Yan An’s hand over his mouth. The brunette looked offended. 

“Don’t know... uh... what?” Jinho asked, a bit frightened to know what Yan An was referencing.

“About Hongseok and Changgu?” He said, stretching out the words as far as he could.

“...what about them?” Jinho looked down at the table, where Hongseok was face down and covering his ears.

“They dated before Changgu and I became a thing.”

Jinho sat stunned, gripping his empty beer can. He looked at Changgu, who had his face buried in his hands, then down at Hongseok, and back up at Yan An. 

“They...”

“Yep.”

“But...”

“They became friends so quickly they thought it was a sign. Hopeless romantics, the both of them.” Yan An shook his head in pity.

“I... I’m so confused.” Jinho stared down at the floor, unable to comprehend what he’d just been told.

“They didn’t last long, if you’re worried about competition. They found out they weren’t quite as compatible as they’d hoped.” Yan An reassured him. Jinho scrunched his eyebrows together and shot him a puzzled look. “They didn’t even make it to fourth base.”

“Yan An I swear if yo-“ Changgu attempted to cut in, once again being cut off by his boyfriend.

“They found out they were both bottoms.” Yan An announced all too happily. The two started yelling nonsense after it had been revealed. Hongseok was literally just screaming into the game board. Jinho stayed silent and watched the two have a ten minute mental breakdown while Yan An looked ridiculously pleased with himself. When Hongseok and Changgu managed to finally calm down to just a mildly flustered state, the younger of the two noticed Jinho looked absolutely unfazed by the information.

“How are you so straight faced? You’re always one of the first to blush.” Changgu asked, slightly amazed. Jinho chewed on his lip. “Are... are you a top?”

“I... uh... I’ve only ever seen ‘bottom’ and ‘top’ used on Twitter a few times with no context.” Jinho admitted. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Oh, thank god.” Hongseok groaned.

“Hongseok can tell you what it means.” Yan An suggested, taking a sip of Changgu’s forgotten mimosa.

“I refuse.” Hongseok firmly replied. He folded his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“Look it up.” Yan An told Jinho, gesturing towards the older’s phone on the table.

“...okay?” He said, picking up his phone. 

“Jinho. I really don’t think you want to know what it means right this second.” Hongseok told him, slightly panicked.

“It can’t be as bad as you guys are acting like it is.” Jinho shrugged, pulling up the internet and typing it in.

“No, no. It’s not... _bad_ it’s just...I mean... you might want to, um, wait until you’re home or when you’re comfortable with the whole...” Hongseok vaguely waved his hands around, reluctant to say anything that may give away the definition.

“I don’t understand what.... you’re... talking..... about...” Jinho trailed off as he started reading the various urban dictionary definitions, a bright blush creeping up his neck and cheeks. He shifted a bit on the carpet, suddenly too fidgety to sit still. “O-oh. _Oh._ ”

“You just... ignored all of my warnings.” Hongseok sighed.

“You-you-you’re into... _that_?”

Hongseok looked away, too uncomfortable to talk about this in front of his roommates.

“Okay, now _I’m_ even uncomfortable.” Yan An interrupted. “Let’s change the topic since Hongseok destroyed our fine game of monopoly.”

“I don’t think changing the topic’s going to help.” Changgu mumbled.

 

_____________

 

Two and a half months.

Jinho blinked up at the ceiling of his bedroom. 

Two and a half months was usually about how long the majority of his relationships lasted. By now he would have gotten bored with the girl and wanted someone new. By now he would have kissed her until she was breathless and slept with her more times than he could count.

Two and a half months in and he still got flustered when Hongseok spooned him. And he didn’t think he was going to get tired of him any time soon. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t even seen Hongseok shirtless. It’s summer. They even went to the beach once and Hongseok still kept his tacky T-shirt on the whole time. 

Jinho huffed out a sigh.

Hongseok hadn’t made a move to take things any further, probably thinking Jinho should be the first to do so. That, or...

He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow as the memory of their last drunken game night came to mind and warmed his cheeks.

He’d gotten so flustered that night, he lost any sort of courage he thought he had to research such topics.

He still knew absolutely nothing.

He cracked an eye open and stared at his laptop, still sitting open on his desk. He drew his lips into a thin line. Still lacking confidence, he grabbed his phone and texted Hyojong.

 

From Jinho:  
Hyojong. I’m a coward

 

He meant to reword that before he hit send but the backspace button suddenly moved, he doesn’t know what happened. It absolutely wasn’t what he meant to send.

 

From Dawnie:  
Jinho, we all know you’re a coward

 

Jinho scoffed. He was offended.

 

From Jinho:  
That’s not what I meant.

From Dawnie:  
Oh shit he pulled out the period

From Jinho:  
Hyojong

From Dawnie:  
He means -B U S I N E S S-

From Jinho:  
I was going to ask for your help but you know what nvm

From Dawnie:  
DDDD:

From Dawnie:  
Noooo comeback, what do you need

From Jinho:  
It’s been two and a half months and I still don’t know how to sleep with a guy

From Dawnie:  
Okay so that wasn’t my first guess, I admit

From Dawnie:  
Did you ask Hyunggu? He’d know what to do

From Jinho:  
First of all, THATS THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOUVE EVER SUGGESTED

From Jinho:  
Hyunggu’s like a little brother, I’m not asking for gay sex tips from my little brother. No. Absolutely not.

From Dawnie:  
Okay geez, it was worth a shot

From Dawnie:  
So then what do you know so far so I know which direction to point you in?

From Jinho:  
All I know is that Hongseok is a bottom? I looked it up but I’m still confused as to what that means when you

From Jinho:  
Uh

From Jinho:  
Do the thing

From Dawnie:  
Wait wait wait

From Jinho:  
Waiting

From Dawnie:  
R u telling me

From Dawnie:  
That big muscle man sports medicine

From Dawnie:  
Is a BOTTOM

From Jinho:  
I am uncomfortable I regret telling you this

From Dawnie:  
And you don’t know what that means???

From Jinho:  
I mean I know in concept but not in... uh. Practice

From Dawnie:  
So you’re saying you haven’t done any research

From Dawnie:  
No wonder you almost failed Art History

From Jinho:  
Hey that’s a low blow

From Dawnie:  
That’s what hingseok’s gonna give u when u two get in the mood

From Jinho:  
ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY HONGSEOK’S GONNA BLOW ME ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FREAKING

From Dawnie:  
Oh no I broke Jinho 

From Dawnie:  
I’m adding Hui I need back up

 

Jinho’s phone dinged as a new member was added to the text chat.

 

From Hui:  
Hyojong what did you do 

From Dawnie:  
Why do you automatically assume I did something?

From Hui:  
When have you ever not done something before adding me to a chat with one of our friends?

From Dawnie:  
No comment

From Jinho:  
I JUST WANTED ADVICE FOR NOT BEING AFRAID TO SLEEP WITH HONGSEOK AND HE JUST

From Jinho:  
IMG_026774.png

From Dawnie:  
Oh that’s a screenshot

From Hui:  
Did you really say that knowing you’d freak him out

From Dawnie:  
I saw the chance to make the joke and I took it

From Hui:  
You’re lucky I’m in the studio and not at home so I can’t smack you

From Dawnie:  
You wouldn’t hit me in front of our child!

From Hui:  
I KEEP TELLING YOU DEBORAH IS NOT OUR CHILD

From Dawnie:  
She technically will be if she lives till we’re 40 and uphold our pact to get married if we’re still single

From Hui:  
WE WERE BOTH DRUNK WHEN I AGREED TO THAT. IT DOESNT COUNT.

From Jinho:  
Okay so now it’s my turn to say wait wait wait

From Jinho:  
You two made a pact to get married if you were still single by 40???

From Hui:  
WE WERE DRUNK THE PACT ISNT. ALUD

From Hui:  
*ISNT VALID

From Dawnie:  
Loyalty is dead

From Dawnie:  
Is no blood pact sacred these days?

From Jinho:  
What the hell were you two drinking???????

From Hui:  
Fireball mixed with Apple ale and this weird cinnamon vodka that tasted terrible but that’s not the point

From Jinho:  
That... sounds like it could kill you

From Hui:  
Well we survived but Hyojong isn’t going to see the sunrise tomorrow

From Dawnie:  
This is partner abuse I’m calling the cops

From Hui:  
WE ARENT EVEN DATING SHUT UP OR ILL TAKE DEBORAH AND LEAVE

From Dawnie:  
BUT WE AGREED TO JOINT CUSTODY YOU TRAITOR

From Hui:  
THERES NO JOINT CUSTODY IF THERES NO MARRIAGE NO CONTRACT AND NO DIVORCE B I T C H

From Dawnie:  
Jinho did you see that? Hui just threatened to take my cat called me a bad word. He’s so mean to me :(((((

From Jinho:  
I don’t think I should interrupt...

From Hui:  
I can’t help Jinho with his sex problems and if I see Hyojong’s name pop up on my phone screen again I’m going to drive home and hurl him out the window.

From Hui:  
Good luck

From Huim  
Hyojong I’m blocking you

 

Jinho’s phone dinged again as Hui removed himself from the chat.

 

From Dawnie:  
He didn’t even try to help you smh

From Jinho:  
Is that really the first thing you noticed 

From Dawnie:  
I’m sorry he was yelling at me the whole time, I had to find something not about me since I added him to help you

From Jinho:  
...okay.

From Jinho:  
So how do I.... research.........this topic

From Dawnie:  
Well first u gotta find some porn

From Jinho:  
I’m blocking you too

 

_____________

 

It feels like he blinked and three months went by. It’s like he just breathed after Jinho technically asked him out and now they were on Hongseok’s couch with Jinho in his lap, kissing his neck.

He couldn’t completely recall the series of events that led to this makeout session that was much steamier than the others they’ve had before, but he wasn’t complaining. Jinho’s lips felt _great_ on his neck and if that’s where he wanted them to go, Hongseok wasn’t about to stop him.

The current situation was like the reverse of the way they were positioned at the party before spring break. It was kind of funny to notice how the roles were reversed. Now instead of being in Jinho’s lap, he has Jinho in _his_ lap.

Little did he know, Jinho had no idea what he was doing.

Hongseok ran his thumbs in slow circles over Jinho’s exposed thighs, making the smaller man shiver. He was happy Jinho wore shorts today, his legs were ungodly soft. Confused, he blinked down at Jinho. He’d suddenly pulled away from Hongseok’s neck and buried his head against his shoulder instead. His small fists were balled up in his shirt just where they had been before.

“Jinho?” He hummed, concerned. He moved a hand from Jinho’s thigh and placed it on his back.

“Sorry, I just got nervous.” Jinho admitted.

“What are you nervous for?” Hongseok asked as he rested his cheek against the top of Jinho’s head. He stuck his lower lip out in a concerned pout, even if he knew Jinho wouldn’t see it.

“Because I don’t really know what to do.” The older mumbled.

“We’re just kissing. I know you know how to do that.” He reassured him with a gentle pat on the back.

“Yeah, but... I don’t know what to do if we go, well, past just kissing.”

“...ah.” Hongseok pursed his lips. “Do you... want to?”

Jinho hesitated. “... sort of?”

“We don’t have to go all the way, I mean we could start small...” Hongseok felt his face grow hot and his stomach did a little flip.

“M-maybe not... tonight.” Jinho bit his lip, a little scared to try anything yet.

“Whenever you want to try, just let me know, okay?” Hongseok sighed, placing a soft kiss on Jinho’s hair. He nodded against the younger’s shoulder. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

“What do you wanna watch?”

“Can we... um. Watch the Incredibles again?”

“Are you really that excited for the sequel?”

“Maybe.”

Hongseok chuckled quietly and gave him a tight hug. A small noise of surprise left Jinho’s lips before he melted back into Hongseok.

“Okay, so Incredibles and takeout?” He hummed.

“Yes please!” Jinho chirped, nuzzling into Hongseok’s neck.

“You have to let me up first. You’re still sitting on top of me, you know.”

Jinho scooted out of his lap with rosy cheeks. 

“What do you want to order?”

“Mmmmm... dalkbal?”

“This late?” Hongseok laughed.

“Yes?” Jinho did his best to look cute in the hope of getting the dish he was suddenly craving. A pout and a wiggle always worked. Hongseok scoffed, but smiled at him anyway. 

“Should we get some makgeolli to go with it?” He made a drinking gesture with his hand and grinned wide when Jinho nodded excitedly. Hongseok ruffled his hair and grabbed his phone off the coffee table. Resting the phone between his cheek and shoulder, he dug around for the Incredibles DVD in cabinet under the tv. He placed the order as he booted up the DVD player and placed the disc inside.

When everything was ordered and the movie was set up, he plopped back down beside Jinho on the couch and pulled him closer with an arm snaked around his waist. 

“You might not be comfortable enough to go all the way just yet, but you’re welcome to kiss my neck whenever you want.” Hongseok slyly whispered to Jinho, face buried in his hair. The shorter covered his reddening face with his hands. 

 

_____________

 

“Why is it... so hot.” Hongseok groaned as he stepped outside the apartment building, Jinho in tow behind him. The taller squinted up at the bright morning sun.

“Well it’s the middle of July, I don’t really know what you were expecting.” Jinho deadpanned before a long yawn and a satisfying stretch. He adjusted the shared gym bag slung over his shoulder as Hongseok shot him a soft glare.

“I mean, it shouldn’t be this hot already this early. It defeats the purpose of getting up early.” He grumbled, pulling out his keys as they meandered over to the parking lot Hongseok’s car was parked in.

“We could always go back inside and just not go to the gym. That’s a great idea don’t you think? We could eat some ice cream and watch a movie with the fan blowing right on us.” Jinho suggested a little too quickly. Hongseok gave him another look as he unlocked the car doors.

“You promised you’d start going to the gym with me a week ago and this is the first time you’ve left the house to do so, I’m not letting you weasel your way out of this one.” Hongseok laughed, waiting for Jinho to get in first. The older pouted and tugged the gym bag off over his head and plopped himself down into the passenger seat. Hongseok climbed in after and started the car, immediately turning on the AC. His seat belt fastened with a click and he waited for Jinho’s to do the same.

“I didn’t think you’d hold me to it... Going to the gym isn’t really my top priority right now.” Jinho said with a huff as he buckled himself in. 

“A little exercise will do you good, I promise.” Hongseok sighed as he started to pull out of the parking space. “But now you made me curious, if the gym isn’t your top priority, what is?”

Jinho panicked.

He wasn’t smooth enough nor confident enough to just be honest and say “You”.

Oh. Wait.

Did he just say it?

He whipped his head around towards Hongseok only to see him fighting back a fit of laughter.

“I-I meant getting a company to offer me a contract.” Jinho belatedly corrected.

“Sure you did.” Hongseok chuckled, checking both directions of incoming traffic before pulling out onto the main road. “I’m flattered.”

“I should have said ‘staying as far away from a gym as possible’...” Jinho grumbled, leaning his head against the car window. He quickly decided that was a bad idea after two pot holes. 

“Too late to take it back now!” Hongseok teased. Jinho rolled his eyes, refusing to look his way.

Fortunately, the drive was pretty short and the parking lot was surprisingly empty this early on a Saturday morning. The gym itself wasn’t too crowded, so Jinho didn’t feel as self conscious knowing there wouldn’t be too many eyes watching him as he struggled on some piece of exercise equipment. 

“Hongseok! You’re arriving later than usual today.” The girl at the front desk greeted. She was shorter than Jinho and definitely younger, but something about her sharp eyes, winged eyeliner and unreserved way of speaking to her elders intimidated him. “Who’s your friend? He’s cute.” Hongseok laughed as he saw Jinho cheeks turn pink.

“This is Jinho. Be nice to him, he doesn’t look it, but he’s older than both of us.” Hongseok said easily, obviously familiar with the worker. He handed her his membership card and leaned against the counter on his elbows. 

“He’s older than you!? I thought you had finally brought someone my age for me to talk to!” She gasped, poking her head around Hongseok to get a second look at Jinho. Jinho tugged on the bag’s thick strap. So much for not having to worry about too many eyes on him.

“Nope. You’re still the youngest person I talk to Soyeon.” Hongseok answered, ruffling her hair. He eyed her dark locks with a fond smile. “I haven’t seen you with black hair in forever. Did you dye it this week?” 

“Yeah, I had to cut something out of my budget to get ready for college and the expensive conditioner I had to use to keep my blonde hair healthy was the first to go. Back to Black it is for now until after I have all my textbooks and school supplies purchased for the year.” 

Jinho quietly stood behind Hongseok as the two chattered comfortably. He didn’t intend to, but after a few minutes of conversation he wasn’t involved in, he zoned out. A quick look around the gym told him everyone else had the right idea and stayed home. There were only five people out on the floor. Two girls on the treadmills, a guy at the drinking fountain filling up his water bottle and two more in the corner lifting weights.

It was kind of cold in the gym too. Jinho was regretting not bringing a jacket now. It made him sleepy and gave him goosebumps at the same time. Curling up next to Hongseok and going back to sleep sounded really great right now.

“How’d you meet your friend? He doesn’t really look like a gym rat like you. I’m surprised he agreed to come this early.” Soyeon’s high nasally voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Normal people don’t come to the gym this early on a Saturday unless they’re getting paid to like me.” Hongseok looked back at Jinho with a warm smile. Suddenly he felt a little less cold.

“We met at the laundromat. Jinho had accidentally ended up with one of my sweatshirts.” Hongseok explained. “And he promised to go to the gym with me a week ago, but today’s the first day I was able to drag him out here. It’s easier to convince him when he’s already at my house and I can physically drag him out the door.” Soyeon practically snorted at that. Her eyes went wide as a sudden realization hit her. She clapped her hands together and her eyebrows scrunched together. Jinho didn’t know what was happening.

“He spent the night didn’t he?” She asked Hongseok. He replied with a telling smile. She grinned. “So he’s the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about! You never told me his name!” She punched him in the arm, a little harder than Hongseok expected. His amused laugh sounded slightly pained as he rubbed the spot she’d punched. 

“You told her about me but didn’t tell her my name?” Jinho asked, expression a mix of flattered and surprised.

“I told you I wasn’t going to tell anyone about us until you wanted me to. I never said I wouldn’t anonymously brag about you.” Hongseok grinned. Jinho didn’t expect to get this flustered at the gym.

“God, he’s cute. Look at him blush and squirm.” She cooed, holding her chin in her hands. “It’s not fair. You always get the cute ones. Save some cute boys for me!” Soyeon whined playfully. Hongseok made a face at her. Seeing him play around happily with his friend made Jinho feel all soft and mushy, especially when he didn’t have to worry about them being possible competition. Not that he was the jealous type. Actually, he didn’t know if he was the jealous type or not now that he thought about it. He didn’t have a reason to be jealous until Hongseok.

Wow. He was whipped.

“Okay I got you and your plus one all signed in. Don’t work the guy too hard, he looks too soft for your usually routine.” Soyeon handed him his card back and winked.

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Hongseok reassured her. Jinho wasn’t scared of what Hongseok’s “usual routine” was until now. “C’mon, Let’s go put our stuff in the lockers.” Hongseok pulled him past the desk by the wrist. Soyeon grinned wide as she waved at them both. Jinho wanted to beg for help.

 

For Jinho’s sake, Hongseok took it easy on him. He helped him with the machines and suggested which ones were good to start out on if he wasn’t used to regularly scheduled exercise. They ran together for a little while on the treadmills, but Jinho was already gasping for air ten minutes in. It was incredibly embarrassing. Hongseok assured him it was fine and that no one would judge when he pulled Jinho over to a bench for a break. As he was taking an oversized gulp of water from his water bottle he noticed Hongseok meet eyes with the two girls on the treadmills a row down from them. 

They quickly turned their heads and started talking in low voices Jinho couldn’t hear. When he turned back to Hongseok, he looked frustrated. He raised an eyebrow as he swallowed his mouthful of water.

“Do you know them or something?” He asked him. Hongseok looked down at him, surprise lacing his features.

“They’re in my major, why?” He asked Jinho in return.

“I dunno. You looked angry for a second there.” Jinho wiped the sweat off of his forehead. How was he already this sweaty?

“It’s nothing.” 

Jinho knew it was a lie, but he let it go. After catching his breath, he decided to rest on the bench a while until Hongseok was done on the treadmill. He watched him plug his earbuds in and turn the machine back on. Something inside of him was disappointed he was wearing a big baggy tank top and loose shorts. But those shorts still showed off his thighs, so it wasn’t _all that bad_.

As the sweat started to cool on his skin, he could feel the cold air of the gym once more. He tried to rub the goosebumps away on his arms and legs but it didn’t work. Eventually he gave up and laid down on his back on the bench and stared at the cheap, gray tiled ceiling. The wall beside him was cool to when he placed his palm against it, spreading his fingers wide and frowning at how stubby they were. He pulled it back down to his chest and rolled his head to the side so he could watch Hongseok again.

To be completely honest, Jinho envied Hongseok’s figure. Tall, muscular, illegally handsome. He tried to reason with himself that he could also be that muscular, but he decided it would look weird for his height. And he wasn’t willing to put in the gym time it took to get that fit. It really just wasn’t something he could motivate himself to do, truthfully. He stayed active enough to be healthy, but his stomach and arms were still soft. 

At some point in his small episode of displeasure with his body, his eyelids grew heavy. He fought it, he really did, but one blink and it was over. He was out cold. Dead to the world. And Hongseok? Obliviously still jogging away on the treadmill.

After he finished his goal time on the machine and stepped off, the first thing he saw was a peacefully snoozing Jinho. He hovered over him for a few moments, staring at him in amusement with his arms crossed over his chest. Despite Jinho promising to work out together, Hongseok didn’t have the heart to wake him up. He muttered a teasing “Sleep well” before moving to another piece of equipment in the same area so he could keep an eye on him.

Time passed by quickly with Hongseok making it through half of his routine workout before he needed to move to the other side of the gym to finish it. When he walked over to the bench once more to get a drink from his water bottle, he smiled down at Jinho, still sleeping. He was laying on his back with his head turned to face the wall with one arm thrown over his chest. Hongseok pursed his lips. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a sudden urge to poke Jinho. Maybe it was because he looked so small and soft when he was asleep. Of course, he was small and soft when he was awake too, but the softness was tripled simply by the way his cheeks puffed out and his lips formed a tiny pout as he slept. It was like he was too adorable not to poke.

So, he did.

He playfully poked Jinho’s stomach, thinking it was cute how squishy it was compared to his own hard, muscular torso. The action made Jinho stir with a frown and a quiet grumble. He sleepily swatted Hongseok’s hand away and rolled over. He realized too late that there was nothing to actuall roll over onto. He let out a squeak as soon as he realized the air wasn’t going to catch him. Hongseok’s eyes went wide and he rushed to catch him, only managing to hook an arm under one shoulder and around his chest before Jinho’s hip hit the hard tile floor with a thud. Jinho grimaced at the jolt of pain that rolled up his spine. Hongseok furrowed his eyebrows, feeling guilty for waking him up now.

Carefully, Hongseok helped him back up to sit on the bench. Jinho rubbed at his hip as the taller apologized endlessly.

“It’s okay.” Jinho reassured him. He caught the two girls whispering and looking their way out of the corner of his eye. They were standing by the water fountain, shooting quick glances their way.

“Are you sure? That sounded like it really hurt.” Hongseok worried, chewing on his lip. 

“Well... yeah. It hurt a lot. But you didn’t expect me to roll over, so don’t apologize for waking me up. I didn’t mean to fall asleep in the first place.” Jinho admitted. He shot a cold glare at the two girls. Hongseok noticed and followed his gaze, frowning. The two girls quickly turned and walked away.

“How about we call it a day?” Hongseok suggested, turning back to Jinho. The older nodded in agreement. Hongseok gathered up their things and pulled Jinho up by his arms and helped him back to the locker room to grab their bag.

Jinho looked back at the two girls once more, wondering if they had recognized him from the party or maybe the video. Or was this part of what Hyojong had warned him about? The disapproving stares and whispers? He wanted to say it didn’t bother him, but he’s never been too great at lying.

_____________

 

“I can’t believe it’s already so bruised...” Hongseok said as he checked Jinho’s hip. “It doesn’t hurt too much does it? Besides just being sore?”

Jinho nodded, pink dusting his cheeks as Hongseok hands gently held onto his hip. They’d gone back to Hongseok’s place and taken turns showering after leaving the gym. Hongseok gave Jinho a pair of his sweatpants to borrow that pooled around his ankles and hung low on his hips. Jinho was holding up the right side of his shirt so Hongseok could get a better look at the injury. The waistband had been tugged down a bit further on that side, revealing more of his skin than Hongseok had seen before. They were in the living room, Hongseok sitting on the edge of the couch as Jinho stood in front of him with his right side facing the younger.

“Can I check to make sure it’s just where the bruise is that’s sore? If it hurts you can tell me to stop.” Hongseok asked, looking up at Jinho. Once again, Jinho nodded. Hongseok slid his eyes back down to the darkening bruise and moved his hands over the ridge of Jinho’s hip. He gently pressed against the bone with the pads of his fingers, looking up to see Jinho’s reaction each time. 

“Ah!” Jinho gasped as Hongseok pressed into a spot just beneath the purple bloom on his skin. He bit his lip in an attempt to shut himself up.

“It hurts there, doesn’t it?” Hongseok frowned. “What kind of pain was it? Can you describe it for me?”

“Like um... when you hit the inside of your elbow really hard?” Jinho answered, hoping that made sense. Hongseok hummed and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Can I check a little lower? I’m worried you might have hit your femur too. It’s the bone in your thigh. It sticks out a bit where it connects to your hip, it’s easy to hit, honestly.” Hongseok asked, wanting permission before venturing lower.

“I-I guess so?” Jinho stammered, cheeks darkening slightly as he held onto the waistband of his borrowed sweatpants. Hongseok shot him a knowing look and patted his back to comfort him before pulling them lower. Jinho did his best to keep his front covered but his upper thigh was completely exposed now. 

“God, you hit hard.” Hongseok mumbled as he blinked at the even bigger bruise just a few centimeters down. Jinho’s breath faltered when he felt Hongseok’s fingers brush over his thigh. “There’s no shooting pains when you move your leg right?” 

Jinho shook his head. 

“Can I check here too? Just in case?” 

“Mhm.”

Jinho knew he shouldn’t be so flustered. Hongseok was just making sure he was okay. But he couldn’t help the heat in his cheeks and the stutter in his words. He looked away as Hongseok pressed his fingers against his thigh. His hands weren’t perfectly soft. They were rough from using the weights at the gym. For some reason, Jinho didn’t want them to leave his skin. He furiously blinked away the thought of those same hands digging into his skin in a less... medical manner.

“You didn’t feel anything strange anywhere, did you?” Hongseok asked, saving Jinho from his little internal struggle.

“No, no weird pains.” He croaked, eyes flying wide open at the weird noise that were supposed to be words that came from his mouth.

“Are you sure? Your voice sounds strained.” Hongseok furrowed his brows in concern as he looked up at Jinho. In an attempt to save himself, Jinho chose to nod in reply rather than speak. Hongseok didn’t completely look convinced, but didn’t ask any further. He pulled the oversized sweatpants back up to Jinho’s waist and tied the drawstring for him. Gently, he patted his left thigh and gave him a soft smile before standing up.

Jinho let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Before he could say anything, Hongseok slowly pulled him into a hug, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and cradling his head against his own broad chest. Jinho blinked in surprise. He couldn’t see the look on Hongseok’s face, couldn’t see the knitted brows and lips drawn in a line. Fingertips slowly brushed against Jinho’s scalp in circles. His body practically melted against the taller at the subtle affection in their touch. 

“What’s this for?” Jinho mumbled, tugging him even closer. Hongseok nuzzled against the side of Jinho’s head.

“I just... felt like I needed to make up for what happened earlier.” Hongseok murmured quietly. The warmth against his ear made Jinho shiver. He slid his hand up Hongseok’s spine, feeling each and every ridge as it traveled upwards.

“It’s something I could have done anywhere whether you were there or not, you don’t need to make up for anything.” Jinho replied, pressing a featherlight kiss against Hongseok’s neck, since it was all he could reach.

“They only recognized you because you were with me.” The explanation came out so low, Jinho almost missed it.

“...recognized me? Who?” He had a feint suspicion. 

“The girls at the gym. Other students in my major.” Hongseok further clarified, almost too scared to say it out loud. “I know they saw the video. They’ll think we’re together even if we weren’t.”

Jinho took a moment, worry and realization slowly setting in.

“It’s okay if they think we’re together.” He eventually told Hongseok. He felt the taller freeze and slowly pull away, searching Jinho’s eyes for any sign of uncertainty.

“You’re okay if other people know?” Hongseok blinked and swallowed the lump in his throat. Jinho gave a shy feeble smile.

“I want them to know you’re mine.” 

That got Hongseok flustered.

“Y-you don’t, you don’t mind if they look at us funny?” Hongseok asked, face slowly flushing red.

“I look at everyone funny except my friends and the majority of my family, how’s that any different?” Jinho offered playfully.

“No, no like... not happy looks. Glares, uh... or hateful stares?” Hongseok stumbled over his words, not sure Jinho understood. “People aren’t going to like that we’re together despite the positivity we’ve gotten from my friends. Not everyone supports this.”

“I know. If I thought it would bother me, would I have confessed?” Jinho reasoned. Hongseok looked a bit stunned.

“Ah, I just...” He reached a hand around his head to anxiously scratch at his nape. “You’ve probably never... you probably don’t know what that really feels like yet, so it’s hard to say it won’t bother you....”

“I mean, I don’t like those looks and it’s not something I enjoy for sure, but I’m not going to break up with you just because people I don’t even know disapprove of us dating.” Jinho admitted. Hongseok pulled him back to his chest, wrapping his arms around Jinho firm and tight.

“Please, never change your mind then.” He breathed against Jinho’s rust colored hair. 

Jinho pressed his cheek against Hongseok’s shoulder as he hugged him back, feeling the warmth bleed through the taller’s t-shirt and into his skin. Three words got caught in the back of his throat as a voice in his head told him it was too soon. 

 

_____________

 

“Why don’t we let loose a little? It’s been... _quite a day_.” Hongseok suggested, pulling four bottles of soju out of the cabinet with a big grin.

“As long as we don’t drink any more than that. I don’t really want a sore hip _and_ a hangover.” Jinho laughed from his spot on the couch. Hongseok grunted in agreement and padded over with all four bottles and a bottle opener hanging dangerously from one finger.

_Pop! Pop!_

“To your bruise hopefully going away soon!” Hongseok teased, holding his bottle out to Jinho for a toast. He obliged with a chuckle.

_Clink!_

“I should probably sleep at my place tonight.” Jinho sighed after he took a sip of his liquor. 

“Ah... you think you could ask Hyunggu to pick you up? I’d be afraid to drive after two bottles and don’t want to send you off on the bus alone.” Hongseok asked, slinging an arm over the back of the couch and behind Jinho. The smaller leaned his head back against Hongseok’s arm.

“Yeah, as long as I catch him before he leaves work he could probably pick me up on his way back home.” Jinho hummed taking another drink.

“How’s he liking teaching at the dance camp?” 

“It’s not really a full dance camp, I think? Like it’s just little kids and they’re just there for maybe four... five hours?” Jinho explained. “But he loves it. All the kids are between four and seven. He loves kids like crazy. He mentioned possibly double majoring in child care to me a week ago.”

“Oh wow, he must really love it then.” Hongseok nodded. 

“He never shuts up about it. I’m happy he’s enjoying it.” Jinho smiled warmly. “I don’t have to worry about him now. He’s had nothing but luck finding nice jobs, has a nice boyfriend, he’s getting good grades, and he’s calmed down immensely. No more wild parties.” 

“He’s growing up! Our little boy’s an adult now!” Hongseok fake sobbed into his hand. That pulled a laugh out of Jinho and earned the younger an elbow to the ribs. He fought back a fit of laughter as he took another drink. 

“He’s not growing up, he’s just growing more mature.” Jinho corrected.

“Fine, fine.” Hongseok surrendered, holding his hands up in defeat. “What about Yuto? How’s he doing with Hyunggu dragging him along?”

“As far as I know he’s got his hands full with a couple summer classes, summer baseball practice, and a part time job at a clothing shop in that kinda trendy area downtown.” Jinho said after swallowing a big gulp of soju. Hongseok pursed his lips and nodded. “Oh, and since you kept bugging the poor soul about it wanting to know, he slept with Hyunggu.”

Hongseok sputtered.

“Seriously?!” He gaped. “I figured it would take longer than this.” Jinho shook his head.

“Nope. I walked in on them, it definitely happened.” He sucked his lips in between his teeth, recalling the awkward memory.

“Oh my god. When did that happen?” Hongseok looked like he was having a mental break down.

“Like... a month and a half ago? I think?” Jinho placed his now empty bottle on the table and moved to open the second one. 

“That’s even sooner! Holy shit.” After a moment of stunned silence, Hongseok chugged the rest of his soju and opened his second bottle as well. Jinho raised an eyebrow and huffed out an amused puff of air over the lip of his bottle.

“It wasn’t pleasant to walk in on truthfully.” Jinho grimaced. “It’s like walking in on your brother.”

“I’ve done that. He was even more embarrassed than the girl.” Hongseok sighed in understanding. 

“Oh yikes, I forget you have a brother.” Jinho cringed. 

“You never forget that kind of image once you see it.” He said. “Not gonna lie though, I think that’s when I realized I was gay.”

“I didn’t... actually see them thankfully. The walls in our apartment are just a little too thin.” Jinho confessed.

“That’s not quite as bad, I guess.” Hongseok tilted his head and shrugged.

“Yeah, but I’d heard Hyunggu before. Now I have to live knowing what Hyunggu _and_ Yuto’s moans sound like.” Jinho groaned. “And I’m pretty sure Yuto’s a bit of a potty mouth in bed. If what he said wasn’t some sort of curse in Japanese, I don’t know what else it would be.”

“Too much info. Now I’m scarred.” Hongseok grumbled. 

“How do you think I felt?” Jinho snorted.

It didn’t take too long for them both to empty their second bottles. It took a little less time to feel the subtle buzz at the back of their skull.

 

Jinho liked it. A little too much for just a small buzz.

 

Just drunk enough to find things funnier than they really are. 

 

Just drunk enough to not care if Hongseok caught him staring.

 

Just drunk enough to lean forward out of instinct.

 

Just enough alcohol to taste it on his tongue.

 

Just enough alcohol to give him a little encouragement.

 

Just enough to fuel that tiny burning coil of tension in the pit of his stomach.

 

 

And Jinho liked it. A little too much.

 

 

To Hongseok’s surprise, he made the first move. Slowly, he slid a hand down the front of Hongseok’s sweatpants, giving a soft, experimental squeeze as he sucked at the tan skin of Hongseok’s neck. The younger choked on his sharp inhale, practically throwing his head over Jinho’s shoulder in surprise. His hands quickly found purchase on Jinho’s arm and shoulder, grip tight and strong. 

He didn’t know whether the sudden confidence came from the soju or the kiss, but he wanted to hear Hongseok’s ragged breaths in his ear and the warm air against his neck. But maybe that was too much. Worried he’d moved to fast, he began to pull his hand away, only to be stopped by a larger hand wrapped around his wrist. He felt Hongseok shake his head against his shoulder and guide his hand back down. So Jinho did as he silently instructed.

With each hitch of his breath and gasp that escape Hongseok’s lips, Jinho felt more and more confident. 

Suddenly, it started to make sense.

He knew what felt the best through experience, doing it to Hongseok came easy.

The younger’s breathing quickened and turned erratic as he continued. It made Jinho’s heart race. 

Feeling Hongseok shift to press himself forwards told Jinho he was doing everything right so far. The choked out sounds from Hongseok’s mouth told him he was doing very, very well. He felt the fingers wrapped around his bicep tighten their grip and dull, trimmed nails dig into his shoulder. He nuzzled Hongseok’s head away from his shoulder, once again targeting the familiar spot on his neck. Determined, he was going to leave more than just a memory of this on Hongseok’s warm skin.

A raspy groan traveled up and out of his throat as Jinho left his mark. Tension pooled in his abdomen, making the muscles in his thighs spasm when it became too much. With a gasp that tapered off at the end, he buried his face against Jinho’s neck and gritted his teeth as soon as he knew he was done for. 

Hongseok’s weight pressed against Jinho as the larger man melted against him, breathing hard and still clinging to him tight. 

Jinho wasn’t sure where to go from here. Hearing that final breathy gasp had him aching. He refused to force anything, despite his personal problem and desires. He could be patient.

But Hongseok didn’t seem to be recovering. His breath continued to fall out of rhythm. The hands clinging to his arms seemed desperate in another sense.

“Hongseok?” He tried, unable to pry him away enough to meet his eyes.

“Desk.” He gasped.

“What?”

“Top... top drawer. _Please_.” Hongseok pleaded, voice barely more than a shaky breath. Jinho felt the panic roll down his spine and threw himself off the couch and down the hallway. He skidded into Hongseok’s room and pulled open the drawer, not sure what he was looking for until he saw it. He grabbed the inhaler and sprinted back around the couch.

Hongseok’s face was red in a way that wasn’t just a blush. Fighting the urge to stand frozen with fear, he quickly handed the inhaler to Hongseok. Fortunately one of them knew what to do and it obviously wasn’t Jinho. He just sort of hovered above him, unsure what to do, but definitely not about to leave Hongseok like this. He watched Hongseok slowly press down on the button and breathe in as best as he could, twice.

 

At least the scare sobered him up a little.

 

Hongseok eventually caught his breath, breathing going back to a normal pace. Jinho quietly stared at where Hongseok’s fingers were intertwined with his, still unsure when the other had slid his hand into Jinho’s. The younger looked dizzy and embarrassed. Unsure what else to do, Jinho opened his mouth.

“I didn’t know you had asthma.” Those weren’t quite the words he had intended to say, but they could have been worse he guessed.

Hongseok rested his forehead in his free palm, nodding his head.

“I can usually manage it pretty well.” He told him, voice hoarse and dry. “This is... humiliating...”

“Y-you couldn’t help it, I mean, I don’t think you could help it?” Jinho attempted to comfort him, realizing how little he knew about asthma. “If you manage it well... Then... what happened today?”

“A lot of things.” He bluntly answered. He took a deep breath and turned his head to look at Jinho, not quite able to meet his eyes. “I went to the gym, so exercise. That’s something that can make it flare up. The air was bad outside today and I didn’t wear a mask. That can trigger it. So can stress... and alcohol.”

“Oh.” Jinho softly replied, looking down at his feet. Was he responsible for the stress part?

“Don’t... don’t think you caused this.” Hongseok mumbled as if he’d read his mind, squeezing Jinho’s hand. “You just caught me by surprise and I should have asked you to stop as soon as my chest felt tight.”

“Then... if there’s... _another_ time... um, will you let me know?” Jinho felt guilty regardless, but he just hoped they could have a second chance without an asthma attack at some point.

“Mm. I’ll let you know.” Hongseok answered.

“Promise?” Jinho held out his other hand, pinky extended. Hongseok looked up at him in disbelief. The only way to describe the expression that replaced it was a smile full of affection as he curled his pinky around Jinho’s. The size difference and the sentiment softened his heart and threatened to make him melt into a puddle on the floor.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was okay? I’m too tired to check over it for errors. School has started and I gotta be awake in... 6 hours to get ready for class. I kind of want more sleep than I got yesterday, so goodnight~ 
> 
> In case anyone wants to know how I’m doing, things are getting easier. I still can’t talk about him to people... and it’s so hard when people ask how my summer was. They always ask why when I say it was horrible. But I don’t want to tell them. But classes are starting and all my focus is going to go towards my class work. I’ll be distracted so I’m hoping I won’t feel as bad. One of my classes is basically just a field trip every week which will be fun. I’m just hoping nothing else happens. No more. August just kept taking and taking and taking. I hope September will give us more than just October.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope this chapter is coherent enough to understand. Hope you’re doing well and that everything goes right for all of you.
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	14. Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why were these three words so frightening, yet easy to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I made any of you worry. All the stuff regarding Pentagon in combination with stress from school had me in a pretty bad place. It was hard to write, so I just... didn’t.
> 
> For now, I’m back with a short chapter full of a lot of mush and a little bit of necessary filler to move the plot along. I could have made this a bit longer, but it just didn’t feel right.
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope you enjoy this new chapter.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Changgu snorted as he caught sight of a drowsy, messy haired Hongseok emerging from his room. 

“G’morning.” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. 

“It’s two in the afternoon.” The younger raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yesterday was a tiring day.” Hongseok shrugged, left hand still rubbing around his eyes. “And you said good morning first.”

“Touché.” Changgu hummed as his eyes latched on to the older’s neck, what he saw catching his interest. “A tiring day, you said? _How so_?”

Hongseok blinked at him, confused by his tone. “I went to the gym with Jinho? He fell asleep and fell off the bench he was laying on and hurt his hip? Uh... we took turns showering and I checked to make sure he didn’t break anything? We had a couple bottles of soju and then I had an asthma attack?” He rambled, still confused.

“Oh crap, really? Are you okay?” Changgu’s expression changed in the blink of an eye from mischievously knowing to flat out concern.

“I’m... alive? So... yeah? I don’t know what else to say about that.” Hongseok rubbed at his neck in discomfort, wincing as he accidentally hit the dark bruise he didn’t know was there. His face flushed suddenly. Finally aware of the mark, his hand stayed glued to his neck.

“As long as you’re okay, I wanna talk about that bruise.” Changgu stated, clearing his throat and trying to pull his worry back in.

“The b-bruise? What bruise?” He nervously laughed in reply. 

“The one you’re hiding, you fool.” Changgu smirked playfully. “Did you and Jinho get _touchy_ after the soju?”

“W-w-w-we...... might.. have.” Hongseok admitted, hands sliding up to cover his burning cheeks.

“Oh?” The younger leaned against the wall. “How far did you get?” Hongseok had to take few deep inhales before answering.

“He shocked me and gave me one of the best hand jobs of my life.” He breathed. Changgu’s face fell in slight disappointment. Hongseok cocked an eyebrow.

“ _Just_ a hand job? Really?” 

“Well... yeah. I had an asthma attack really close to the end so we kinda just... left it at that.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Changgu sputtered. “Of _all_ the times for you to get an asthma attack!? It had to be then!?”

Hongseok crossed his arms over his chest as Changgu doubled over in laughter, slapping his knee. “And here I thought you were concerned.”

“No, it’s just-pffffff!” The younger struggled to contain his laughter. “It’s just that you started having one during sex, I’m-pffhahahaha! I’m glad you’re okay, but what kind of terrible timing even is that?” Changgu was practically guffawing at Hongseok’s misery. He wasn’t having it.

“It’s no different than the time you sneezed on Yan An’s face when you decided to be romantic while you had a cold.” Hongseok countered. Changgu cleared his throat and stood up straight. 

“Okay, so we’ve both had embarrassing moments.”

“And I’m going to hold that one against you if you ever bring this up again.” Hongseok replied firmly, eyes piercing his roommate with a steely glare.

“Okay. Agreed.” 

“...but uh.... is it... bad if we didn’t really talk much afterwards?” Hongseok hesitantly brought up, thinking about how he had Jinho had made the pinky promise and then fallen silent for the rest of the time the older had been at their apartment that night. Changgu pursed his lips.

“I mean, what would you really say after the guy you jerked off had an asthma attack?” He bluntly answered.

“I... I dunno? Maybe just... small talk? Or something?” Hongseok shrugged. “It just felt so awkward.”

“If you’re worried that it messed anything up, Jinho doesn’t really seem to be the type to drop you for a health condition. I mean he knows about your anxiety and still confessed _and_ basically asked you out.” Changgu reasoned. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m overthinking this.” Hongseok shook himself out of the bad thoughts, earning a light chuckle from Changgu.

“Go eat some breakfast and stop letting the bad thoughts eat at you.” He laughed, ruffling Hongseok’s hair as he squeezed past him and made his way down the hall. 

 

_____________

 

“WAUGH!” Jinho yelled with a jump backwards. 

“Wahhh!” Yuto exclaimed out of mutual terror from Jinho’s loud entrance.

Hyunggu blinked between the two in confusion, adjusting his face mask after Yuto had tackled him in a frightened hug. Jinho was leaning against the kitchen counter, one hand clutching the countertop with white knuckles and the other hand was on his chest. 

“God, you scared me.” He wheezed.

“Yeah. I can see that.” Hyunggu replied, mildly amused. “Are face masks really that scary? It’s just skincare.” 

“They aren’t usually, but whatever that... is in your face is terrifying to see right when you walk into a room, Okay?” Jinho defended. Yuto slowly pulled away from Hyunggu as he got his bearings. He looked embarrassed that he had just gotten so scared from Jinho’s cry at the scene.

“They’re One Piece themed. It was the only way I could convince Yuto to have a face mask party with me.” Hyunggu pouted. 

“But Jinho’s kind of right... I know yours is supposed to be Chopper, but it’s kind of scary.” Yuto admitted, fixing his own. Hyunggu looked offended at his boyfriend’s opinion.

“I’m cute and Chopper’s cute, how can I possibly look scary?” He huffed.

“I dunno I’ve seen you look scary even without the mask.” Jinho coughed, looking up at the ceiling as he feigned innocence. Hyunggu scowled at him from the living room floor. 

“You can be scary sometimes.” Yuto mumbled in agreement, flinching when Hyunggu turned the glare to him. 

“Fine. You two are never invited to do face masks with me again.” The youngest grumbled. 

“What other characters are on the face masks?” Jinho asked, catching the packaging out of the corner of his eye. “I know there’s Chopper and Luffy since you two are using those...” he walked over and knelt down, scanning over the characters in the pack. 

“There’s only.... six? In the pack I think?” Hyunggu hummed, also looking back at the box.

“Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, Nami, and Sanji.” Yuto quickly answered.

“Yeah that’s right. He was mad it didn’t come with a Zoro one.” Hyunggu nodded.

“What a nerd.” Jinho laughed. Yuto shrunk down a little at the words and Jinho immediately felt bad for saying them. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, it’s cute! Please don’t think that was an insult.” He quickly clarified. He saw the taller’s shoulders relax.

“Do you want to try one?” Hyunggu asked, picking up the box. “I didn’t expect them to feel this nice. It makes my face feel all tingly in a good way.” 

“Maybe not right now.” Jinho laughed, waving away the offer. “But Hongseok’s coming over later after his shift ends, he might want to.” 

“Hongseokkie!” Hyunggu cheered. “It’s been _soooooooo long_ since he was over when I’m actually home at the same time!” Yuto giggled at his boyfriend’s excitement. 

“I’m sure he’ll be just as excited to see you too. He keeps asking me how his ‘son’ is doing these days.” Jinho rolled his eyes, his smile giving away his fake disgust. Hyunggu grinned wide, accidentally pulling off some of the face mask. If it hadn’t looked mildly frightening before, now it was definitely terrifying in an illusion of a layer of skin falling off someone’s face sort of way. Maybe Jinho’s just seen too many scary movies in his life time.

He let his bag slide off his shoulders and onto the floor as he fell into lighthearted chatter with the two. They talked about Hyunggu and Yuto’s jobs. The kids had grown as attached to Hyunggu as he had to them and he wasn’t ready to see them go. Yuto had already gotten a small raise for the amount of garments he’d sold. Hyunggu joked it was because he was handsome. The taller flushed at the suggestion, mumbling something about the customers all being women. Jinho thought it might be because of his recently improved fashion sense. It was nice seeing the boy in something besides black skinny jeans, black T-shirts, black sweatpants, black hoodies, and black leather jackets. It appeared Hyunggu had given him tips on how to accessorize. His outfits featured dangly earrings and increasingly bulky, yet simple jewelry more often these days. 

Hyunggu ruined the moment by giving a rather sultry compliment to his boyfriend that neither Yuto nor Jinho were ready for. As if he knew his parental skills were needed, Hongseok called to let Jinho know he’d arrived and was trying to find a parking space. The two flustered men let out a relieved sigh as Hyunggu cheered. A mediator was obviously going to be needed the later it got.

 

_____________

 

Once Hongseok arrived, it took a surprisingly short amount of time for Yuto and Hyunggu to call it a day. They bid them both goodnight after cleaning up the mess they had made in the living room. Hongseok and Jinho had both tried out the face masks while the younger two had still been awake. Yuto had chosen the Sanji one for Jinho while Hyunggu had chosen the Nami one for Hongseok, much to everyone’s amusement.

The older two retired to Jinho’s bedroom after peeling off each other’s face masks and tossing them into the trash in the kitchen. Both men changed into sleepwear in comfortable silence. They faced opposite walls as they undressed, still shy in that regard. Jinho made the mistake of lifting his eyes just in time to see Hongseok pull his T-shirt over his head in the small mirror over his dresser. He covered his mouth as a gasp unconsciously escaped his lips. 

He wasn’t used to heat rising in his cheeks at the sight of another man without a shirt. He didn’t really know why his face had gone warm or why he gasped. It wasn’t a surprise that Hongseok was well built with how often he went to the gym. Jinho had seen peeks here and there of his toned stomach, but seeing the whole thing was another experience entirely. Hongseok shot him a worried look as he registered the noise as coming from Jinho. The smaller man waved it away as he finished pulling on a pair of thin sweats over his boxers. 

Jinho jolted in surprise as a pair of hands turned him around and pulled him into the softest, sweetest kiss he’d had in weeks. When he felt Hongseok pull away, he let his eyes flutter open, lips slightly parted. The warm smile he was met with made his heart do a flip. Hongseok’s thumb brushed under his eye, wiping away a stray eyelash that had been stuck just above his round, rose dusted cheek.

Those three words threatened to bubble up the back of his throat once more. He wanted to say them, let them out one by one, but they snagged on the back of his tongue as Hongseok gently tugged him by the wrist over towards his bed. The bed frame creaked as he climbed in, pulling the sheets upwards for them both to slide under. Jinho followed him, suddenly feeling lightheaded from giddiness. The younger hooked an arm around Jinho’s middle and pulled him close for another kiss, just as sweet as the first. Then a second, then a third, then a fourth and fifth before he rolled over and rested his hips between the older’s thighs. The proximity sent chills up Jinho’s spine. 

It was a weight more-so than friction. Just a weight that pinned him to the bed as hands moved to cup his cheeks and guide his head upwards to meet Hongseok’s lips for the seventh time tonight. Still, with the seventh kiss, there was no heat or hunger. Just a slow, warm comfort of their mouths slotting together perfectly. Slowly, Jinho slid his hand up Hongseok’s chest, over his shoulders, and around his neck just to let it get lost in the slightly longer locks at the back of his head. He was thankful Hongseok’s hair was beginning to grow out a bit more. Now he had something to hold onto when he felt like he could just float away.

“Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?” He wondered out loud in an airy voice as they parted for a breath. 

“What do you mean?” Hongseok asked in an exhale, eyes still glued to Jinho’s pink lips. Jinho’s eyes were equally focused on Hongseok’s as he worked up the courage to respond.

“Being in love?” He breathed, risking a glance upwards. They locked eyes as he did so. Hongseok blinked a few times before an unfamiliar expression flashed over his face that Jinho couldn’t decipher. He searched the older’s eyes before taking a shallow inhale.

“What do you think it feels like?” He asked him. Jinho’s eyes faltered and looked away.

“Like I’m floating constantly. In a blissful way rather than a dissociating way.” Jinho started shakily. “Like I’m always excited but comfortable at the same time. And like everything is going to be okay as soon as I see your face or hear your voice.” He saw Hongseok’s eyebrows furrow and a small smile stretch across his lips. 

Jinho let out a surprised squeak as Hongseok started peppering his face with butterfly kisses. The shock turned into giggles and playful, weak punches to the chest as Hongseok littered every available inch of skin with kisses. He finished with a quick peck on the lips before he rested their foreheads together, looking down at Jinho through his dark lashes.

“That sounds an awful lot like love.” He whispered.

“Then I guess I’m in love, huh?” Jinho mumbled back.

“I guess it’s a good thing I am too, then.” Hongseok answered with a smile that scrunched up the corners of his eyes. 

“I love you.” Jinho finally said, relieved as the words spilled out of his mouth with certainty.

“I love you, too.”

 

_____________

 

Jinho wouldn’t really call this a date.

Yes, they were in a cozy little cafe together eating overpriced sandwiches and coffee that looked better than it tasted, but that’s where the date-like things ended. 

Hongseok had his eyes glued to his laptop as he was trying to find all of his important class enrollment emails for the upcoming semester. He was sitting across from Jinho at the table, his coffee already cold and his sandwiches untouched. Jinho pouted, in the hopes that Hongseok May look up and see that he was getting frustrated.

He wasn’t usually the type to be needy, exactly. However, he’d already finished his coffee and his sandwiches and they’d barely spoken. At first, he was satisfied with admiring how handsome Hongseok is while wearing glasses and while he’s focusing really hard on something. But it’s been at least forty minutes and he just felt ignored. It was time to do something about it.

Unable to think of any other way to get the younger’s attention at the moment, Jinho threw his feet up into Hongseok’s lap. The sudden action made him jump, almost sending his glasses flying off his face. Hongseok stared at him with wide eyes in shock, hands slightly raised in the air. Jinho snorted. It wasn’t fair that he could look this cute when he’s startled.

“What was that about?” Hongseok huffed, still confused but with a hint of amusement in his voice. He pushed Jinho’s feet out of his lap and shut his laptop. Ah, yes. Just what Jinho wanted.

“I’m starting to feel like I’m just eating alone.” Jinho pouted in a possibly, intentionally, overly-cute way. “You’ve just been staring at your computer the whole time and not me.”

Hongseok laughed as a pale pink settled on Jinho’s cheeks from his own words.

“I’m sorry, was I not giving the baby enough attention?” Hongseok teased, reaching over the table to ruffle his hair. Jinho’s face lit up.

“I-I’m not a baby! I-i’m older than you!” He stammered in defense. He wasn’t entirely sure he _hated_ Hongseok calling him a baby, but that was beside the point.

“I know, I’m only kidding.” He cooed, taking a sip of his coffee and frowning when he found it had already turned cold.

“Hongseokkie!” They both whipped their heads around at the familiar voice.

“Hyunggu!?” Jinho blinked in surprise. He suddenly wished his blush would go away.

“What are you two doing here?” The boy asked as he walked up to the table they were seated at.

“We were grabbing lunch before my shift at the daycare started.” Hongseok explained, saving Jinho from trying to make up some terrible excuse. Hyunggu nodded with a little “Ah” of understanding. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh! My friend works here! We were going to go see a movie after her shift ends.” He grinned, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his joggers. 

“Oh, is it Jamie?” Jinho asked. “I swear I thought I saw her here earlier, but I didn’t know she worked here.”

“Yeah, she started... about a month ago?” Hyunggu hummed thoughtfully. His mouth formed an “o” as a thought hit him. “Actually, I’m glad I ran into you! I have some big news!”

“Oh? Big news? What kind of big news?” Hongseok asked, looking prepared to be a very proud parental figure if it turned out to be good big news. Hyunggu did an excited little wiggle before he answered.

“I got invited to teach at a month long dance camp a couple of hours away from here!” He grinned wide. The older two gasped in happy surprise. Hongseok shot out of his seat and pulled the younger into the biggest, tightest hug he could give without crushing him.

“I’m so proud of you!” He said, a little too loudly for a cafe setting. Hyunggu’s smile was so wide Jinho was afraid he’d pull a muscle in his face or something. He watched in confusion as the youngest’s eyebrows furrowed when he was released from the bear hug and his eyes grew more serious. He turned to Jinho with a hint of concern washing over his features.

“But I don’t want to decide if I’ll accept it without asking you first.” He told Jinho. The older blinked in surprise, but understood what he was getting at. Hongseok on the other hand looked puzzled as to why Hyunggu had to ask for his roommate’s permission. Hyunggu noticed his confused expression and smiled softly.

“Jinho has a hard time when I’m gone for a long time.” He started to explain. “It’s like when you get used to living with someone and then suddenly they’re not there. That lonely, empty feeling. But Jinho... feels it more strongly. It’s sort of hard to explain.”

“It’s... my depression. It makes living alone for long periods of time hard. Hyunggu keeps me happy and gives me something to protect and worry about I guess. Or it’s the other way around, he’s there for me when I need support.” Jinho admitted slowly. “I like being alone, but not... too much.”

Hongseok glanced over at Jinho, an entirely new softness filling his eyes.

“So I wanted to check if Jinho thought he’d be okay with me leaving for that long before I decided. Since he has Hui and Hyojong and Shinwon I thought he’d be okay last time... but they’re all so busy he didn’t end up feeling any less lonely since they could never come over. But now he has you too, so I thought it might be better this time.” Hyunggu continued.

“I think I’ll be okay. You should take the job. This is really big for you, Hyunggu.” Jinho grinned, giving the youngest’s arm a reassuring squeeze. 

“Are you really sure? It got really bad last time...” Hyunggu didn’t seem fully convinced.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t get bad.” Hongseok piped up. Hyunggu looked surprised at the enthusiasm in Hongseok’s voice. “I.. I-I’ll keep him company so he doesn’t feel lonely.” Jinho chuckled at how flustered Hongseok was getting.

“I was hoping you’d say so.” Hyunggu laughed, giving Hongseok another quick hug. He turned back to Jinho. “If anything happens you can still call me okay? If things get bad, I promise I’ll come back if you ask.” He took Jinho’s hands and gave them a squeeze.

“I know you will. But you won’t have to.” Jinho smiled, squeezing back. Hyunggu nodded with a serious pout and whipped back around to Hongseok. The action startled the taller man.

“After I’m gone for a few days, Jinho will start to miss me whether he’ll admit it or not. I’ll send you specific care instructions tailored just for Jinho before I leave. It’s on you to keep him happy now since you offered.” 

Hongseok’s hands were raised in surrender as if it was pure instinct when being told what to do. It made Jinho laugh. 

“I don’t think he’ll need to do that much to keep me happy, don’t scare him.” Jinho snorted. 

Hyunggu joined in the laughter and Hongseok slumped into his seat in relief.

 

_____________

 

Hongseok let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Something about the way Jinho was curled up in his arms made him feel as if so much as a breath could break him. The older looked so small and fragile like this. Curled up like a baby rabbit all tucked away in a nest that just so happened to be made of Hongseok’s strong arms. 

The first week without his roommate had just passed and Jinho seemed to be doing pretty well. Hyunggu kept them both updated with long texts summarizing each day at camp. He was really happy there, that was obvious. The kids already loved him as much as he loved them. 

Maybe Hyunggu was just overreacting. Maybe Hongseok didn’t need to worry this much. Carefully, he pressed a soft kiss against Jinho’s forehead. 

He ran a thumb over the thick fabric covering Jinho’s shoulder. The older was wearing _his_ sweatshirt. The camouflage sweater he’d warn half a year ago when they met. The shirt nearly three sizes too large for Jinho. Just that sweatshirt and a thin pair of boxers. The corners of Hongseok’s mouth quirked up. 

Earlier, he’d returned the handjob Jinho had given him weeks before. No asthma attack this time. At some point, Jinho ended up shirtless, but got too shy to stay that way. To solve that problem, Hongseok had donated his, leaving himself half-bare instead. It was hard not to recall the way Jinho’s eyes had lingered on him before pulling the shirt over his head. That had left Hongseok in nothing but his sweatpants, not that either of them were complaining.

Rather than dig around in his bag for another shirt, he just opted to leave it off as they snuggled in to sleep. It was reasonably warm snuggled up next to Jinho, so he didn’t really need one anyway. Hongseok felt the hand Jinho had resting against his bare back twitch. When he looked down at the smaller man’s face, he could see his lashes flutter as he dreamt. He hoped it wasn’t a nightmare. There’s nothing quite like watching the one you love battle demons in their sleep. That’s one battle Hongseok can’t fight on Jinho’s behalf.

Just to be safe, he held him tighter and hummed a quiet song. Specifically the song Jinho had rearranged. After a while, Jinho softly stirred, burying his face into Hongseok’s chest and wrapping his arms around the taller’s waist to be as close as possible. Just as quickly as he’d stopped dreaming, he fell back into a deep sleep.

Hongseok fought the urge to coo at how cute he was. Maybe he’d save it for the morning, sleep was finally tugging at his eyelids. He let Jinho’s shallow breaths lull him to sleep as they kept each other warm beneath the blankets. 

 

The sound of his phone alarm and a disgruntled groan woke him. Blindly, Hongseok searched for the phone with the one hand that wasn’t numb and pinned down by Jinho. It took him longer than he would have liked, but he found the device and dismissed the alarm. Jinho rolled over and grumbled, taking the blankets with him. Hongseok huffed out a laugh and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“That alarm’s for you, you know.” Hongseok told him, voice a bit gravelly. 

All he got in response was another groan. Hongseok rolled his eyes.

“You have to get ready for work.” He said as he rolled Jinho back over. The older already had a grumpy pout on his face before he cracked open an eye to look at Hongseok.

“Why does summer school start just as early as regular school?” He grumbled.

“I don’t know, but you agreed to take the job.” Hongseok reasoned, tugging at Jinho’s arm in a gentle attempt to get him out of bed.

“Can’t I just call in sick?” He whined, flopping over onto his stomach.

“Then you’d be lying to your boss.” Hongseok sighed, poking Jinho in the ribs.

“Hey! But what if I am sick?” Jinho flinched when Hongseok’s finger made contact with his side.

“Oh yeah? And what illness do you have, then?” Hongseok played along, for now. Jinho hesitated.

“I’m lovesick.” He buried his quickly reddening face into a pillow. Hongseok sputtered into a fit of laughter.

“That was so cheesy, oh my _god_!” He cackled.

“Never mind, I’ll get ready for work.” Jinho mumbled, pushing Hongseok off the bed so he could get up. The taller gently swatted his hands away and flopped back down beside him. Jinho blinked at him in surprise.

“Well? Aren’t you going to call in?” Hongseok asked, keeping as serious of a face as he could. “I’ve heard lovesickness is pretty deadly if not treated immediately.” 

“What... what’s the treatment?” Jinho quietly asked, unsure where Hongseok was going with this.

“Oh, it’s a long process. But the first step is plenty of cuddles.” He wrapped his arms around the smaller man once more and pulled him towards his chest. A cute giggle escaped Jinho as he buried his face in the crook of Hongseok’s neck. “And then you’ll need lots of kisses.” 

Jinho cringed with a whine of fake disapproval as Hongseok started peppering his face in kisses, some soft, some sloppy. The younger gave him a quick peck on the lips, then another, and another until Jinho kissed him back. It didn’t take long to turn into a lazy make-out session, with Jinho half laying on Hongseok. The older fumbled for his phone that had been buried somewhere under his pillow.

“Are you going to call off?” Hongseok breathed as they parted. Jinho nodded with a hum as he pulled up the professor’s contact. He hit the call button and brought the phone up to his ear, waiting as it rang. Hongseok slowly pulled him back down by his collar and kissed his cheek. Jinho scrunched up his face as the other made his way down to his jaw.

“Hey, Jinho. What do you need?” The professor said as he picked up. He sounded slightly distracted, probably setting up the equipment for today’s recording demo.

“Ah, professor. I’m not feeling too great this morning. Would it be okay if I took the day off?” Jinho asked, trying to keep his voice steady as Hongseok brushed his lips over his neck. He was suddenly thankful for the sleepy rasp in his voice.

“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. Rest up.” He replied. “If you still aren’t feeling great and don’t think you’ll be able to make it in tomorrow, would you mind letting me know later tonight? I might need a hand with a crash course with a new mic and I’ll need to know if I have to find an extra set of hands.”

“Can do. Thank you.”

“Feel better, Jinho.”

“Bye, professor.”

“ _Click._ ”

Hongseok broke away from the spot he was slowly sucking at on Jinho’s neck.

“So? What’s the verdict?” He asked.

“I got a sick day.” Jinho answered.

“Good, because this lovesickness has progressed farther than I thought. You’re going to need to see a physical therapist.” Hongseok said in a serious tone. “It’s a good thing I know one who’d be happy to help you out.”

Jinho fought back a laugh. “Oh yeah?”

“Yep. But he’s really handsome, so try not to fall too hard for him, okay?”

“Sure.” Jinho smiled, nose scrunching up in amusement. “When’s he gonna be here?”

“Lucky for you, he’s already here.” Hongseok grinned before pulling him back into a kiss. 

 

_____________

 

There it was. That familiar feeling. Creeping up inside him even as he tried to ignore it. It was getting old.

Jinho sighed as he stood in the kitchen with a mug of fresh coffee. Hongseok had gone home last night and Hyunggu was still off at camp for another two and a half weeks. The apartment was so quiet. It was fine, but as the morning went on, it just didn’t settle right with Jinho. 

With a small huff, he wander into the living room and sat down on the couch. He pulled out his phone, wondering if anyone else was awake. Maybe Hui? Curious, he shot him a text to see if he was awake.

 

From Hui:  
Yeah, I’m getting ready for work. Do you need something?

From Jinho:  
Could I call you?

From Hui:  
Yeah of course, is something wrong?

From Jinho:  
No, I just want someone to talk to.

From Hui:  
Okay. Give me just a second.

 

Jinho waited for his phone to buzz and the candid photo of Hui stuffing his face with ramen to flash across his screen.

“Hey, what’s up? Also is it okay if I brush my teeth real fast?” Hui asked over the phone. Jinho set him on speaker phone so he could sit the phone on the table.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He said over the rim of his mug. Just the sound of Hui brushing his teeth and water running in the background was enough to calm his nerves a bit. 

“Do you have work today?” Hui mumbled, obviously with his mouth full of toothpaste.

“Mm. But I still have an hour.” Jinho answered. 

“Anything exciting happening with your class?” The younger continued.

“The kids are finally recording their first songs.”

“Oh, that’s pretty big for them.” He said with a hum. “Any promising youngsters in the class?”

“Not necessarily. You can just tell who has the natural talent for it and who has to work twice as hard.”

“Yeah. Fortunately it’s just pre-college. They don’t have to worry about flunking just yet.” Jinho could hear the shuffle of feet and fabric from Hui’s end. “How’s things with Hongseok? Everything still okay?”

“Mm. Everything’s nice. Really nice.” Jinho pulled his knees up to his chest with a tiny smile. 

“You two look really good together. I’m happy everything’s going pretty smoothly now. Any recent developments? Special milestones?” He could practically see Hui’s eyebrows wiggling in anticipation.

“It’s been... over three months now? I think?” Jinho laughed. “So that’s pretty big.”

“Congratulations, you lovebird.” Jinho could hear the smile in his voice. “Anything else...?”

“I’ve seen him shirtless a lot recently?” Jinho shrugged, even if he knew the other couldn’t see the gesture.

“Is he as Greek God chiseled as his Instagram led on?” Hui asked, a hint of hesitation. Jinho huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes. He knew his friend envied Hongseok’s body, but he didn’t have the time or drive to get there.

“Yeah. He is.” He felt the heat rise in his cheeks as he thought about how he’d woken up to his cheek pressed against his boyfriend’s bare chest just a few nights ago.

“God. I just don’t see how he does it.” Hui sighed.

“Well, he wakes up earlier than you when he doesn’t spend the night here.” Jinho pointed out. “He’s at the gym before the sun rises.”

“Oh. I’m not waking up early just for that.”

“I kind of figured.” 

“Hey, I heard that laugh.”

“Sorry, Hui.” Jinho said behind a hand. “It’s just funny how you get jealous but then give up so easy.”

“I mean... I don’t _need_ to look like a god to be happy, but I’d love to just wake up looking like that one day.”

“You’re already pretty muscle...ey. I mean you had abs last semester, right? I haven’t seen them since then though.”

“...because I lost them.”

“But you still have nice arms. I’m here looking like that one dough guy on the frozen biscuit packaging.”

“You’re not as squishy as you used to be. You’ve never looked like you’re made out of dough either. You’re just small and cute. And you’re strong despite not really working out. But you’ve also been eating better, so I’m sure that’s part of it too.” Hui reasoned.

“I did almost break Shinwon’s arm that one time.” Jinho mused.

“Yeah, so don’t give him a congratulatory punch in the arm ever again for his well being.”

“That probably won’t be so hard. I never see him anyway.”

“He stopped by yesterday. He said he was going to call to see if you were home, but I guess he either forgot or you were busy.” Hui said. “He was pretty exhausted when he came to our place, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he fell asleep in his car or something and forgot.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Jinho laughed as he quickly checked his missed calls, quietly cursing as he saw Shinwon’s name at the top of the list. He must have accidentally swiped away the notification earlier before seeing it. Or... with the time the phone said he called, he might have been heavily distracted by a certain tall, tan, and gorgeous man. 

 

_____________

 

He’d been quiet all evening. Hongseok was trying not to worry, but something felt off. Jinho normally wasn’t this... silent. 

They were both curled up on the couch, Hongseok laying on his side with his arm folded under his head and Jinho laying close to him on his back. His arm was pressed against Hongseok’s chest and his legs were thrown over Hongseok’s where they were bent, loosely spooning the smaller man. Hongseok had his free hand resting on Jinho’s stomach, thumb occasionally brushing over the edge of his ribcage through the fabric of his shirt.

Slowly, he bent his head forward and placed a soft kiss on Jinho’s temple. Having grown accustom to the occasional kiss here and there, Jinho remained still, eyes fixed on the television screen. Hongseok nuzzled into his hair, feeling mildly ignored. The smaller shrugged him off and rolled onto his side, scooting back so he was pressed against Hongseok’s back.

The corner’s of Hongseok’s mouth curled downwards. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked quietly as he wrapped his arm around Jinho’s middle. He heard the other sigh as he melted further into his embrace. Hongseok lowered the volume on the television when Jinho turned his head.

“I’m just tired.” Jinho answered. Hongseok hummed in thought.

“Physically tired, or emotionally tired?” The words came from his mouth in a low tone, hesitant to say them.

Jinho drew his lips into a line and let out a long breath.

“Both.”

Hongseok held him tighter, burying his face in the hair at the crown of Jinho’s head.

“Can I do anything to help?” He mumbled through messy brunet locks.

“Don’t leave.” The sadness in Jinho’s voice made Hongseok’s heart ache. “Just stay here.”

“I promise I won’t leave.” Hongseok assured him.

“...tomorrow too?”

“Mm. If you want me to stay tomorrow, I’ll stay all of tomorrow too.”

“But what about work?”

“I’ll call off.”

“Hongseok...” Jinho started, but didn’t know how to continue.

“I haven’t missed any days since finals. It’ll be fine.” 

Jinho went quiet again. Hongseok felt an arm slide over his and a hand wrapping around his wrist.

“I swear I’ll stay as long as you want me too.” Hongseok breathed.

Jinho’s grip tightened and he let out a shaky breath.

“I love you.” The older choked out.

“And I love you too. So, so much.” Hongseok pressed another warm kiss against Jinho’s head. The smaller rolled over, pressing his face into the crook of Hongseok’s neck. His warm breath flooded over Hongseok’s skin. 

“Can... can we just go to bed early?” He asked, voice muffled.

“Absolutely.” The younger answered, eying the clock above the tv that read 8:26pm. He helped Jinho up and slid his hand into his. He gently tugged him towards the bedroom and easily pulled him under the sheets. 

“I love you.” Jinho repeated, once again burying his face in Hongseok’s neck. 

“Love you too.” Hongseok echoed, running his fingers through Jinho’s hair.

_____________

 

“Are you sure this is okay? I can have Changgu pick everything up for us if you want to go home.” Hongseok asked over his shoulder. 

“We’re already here, it’s okay.” Jinho,quickly answered. “You already drove us here, I’d hate to leave without getting what we came for.”

Hongseok gave him a thin smile and ruffled his hair.

“We can be quick. There aren’t that many ingredients.”

Jinho nodded, feeling out of place in the middle of the grocery aisle. He trailed behind the taller man as he searched the shelves for the right kind of noodles.

“You really don’t have to make jajjangmyeon for me.” Jinho mumbled.

“You said it sounded good. With how little of an appetite you’ve had, I’m not letting you pass up any meal that sounds good in hopes that you’ll eat more.” Hongseok said as if it was common sense, eyes still glued to the shelves. Jinho sighed with a tiny smile.

“It mainly sounded good because you made it so well before.” He admitted. That made Hongseok turn back to him with a proud grin.

“Then I’ll have to do even better this time, huh?” He finally found the right noodles and grabbed a couple packages of them, enough for a day or two worth of leftovers. 

Jinho followed him out of the aisle and down another in search of black bean paste. Quietly, he took the basket Hongseok was carrying.

“I could’ve carried that.” Hongseok told him, raising an eyebrow.

“I know.” Jinho replied before intertwining his fingers with the younger’s. Hongseok looked down at his hand and smiled. Jinho didn’t hold his hand that often in public. Even if it was something simple, it meant a lot to him. Understanding Jinho’s intentions, Hongseok turned his attention back to the jars in front of him.

They worked their way down the grocery list on Hongseok’s phone as they wove through the aisles and all over the produce section. If anything caught Jinho’s eye, Hongseok took note, sometimes dropping it in the basket when Jinho wasn’t looking if it didn’t weigh much. 

No matter how heavy his limbs felt or how fuzzy his brain seemed, holding Hongseok’s hand made Jinho feel better. Sure, he’d rather be home in bed, but he knew it was better to get out of the house occasionally. He knew Hongseok knew it too, but he wasn’t going to force Jinho if he wasn’t ready. Being out of just about anything edible was a worthy excuse to force them both out, so Jinho had agreed on a trip to the grocery.

Hongseok broke Jinho out of his thoughts as his thumb brushed over his cheek. He blinked up at the taller man.

“Thinking hard? You spaced out there for a little while.” His voice was so soft and warm just like the hand pressed against Jinho’s cheek. He felt the slightest tingle of heat rise in his cheeks. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, looking down at their interlocked hands.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Hongseok looked down at the basket and smiled. “We got everything we need, want to go check out?” Jinho nodded.

He didn’t expect to be met with Hui’s bright smile when it was finally their turn at the register.

“Jinho and Hongseok? I didn’t expect to see you guys today.” He said with a grin as he started scanning the items Hongseok was unloading onto the belt. 

“Jinho ran out of food.” Hongseok simply explained.

“Oh, I believe that. He’s not very good at keeping his fridge and pantry stocked when Hyunggu’s away. Hyunggu’s usually the one who drags him out to buy things.” Hui laughed, typing in the code for the onions after he checked the weight.

“I just don’t like going to the grocery.” Jinho weakly defended. Hui gave him a knowing look. He crossed his arms at the quiet sass from his best friend. 

“You must not mind it so much with Hongseok, then.” Hui said, continuing the conversation. “It’s a good excuse to be all cute and domestic, right?”

The couple’s cheeks turned a pale shade of pink. 

“You guys are so cute.” Hui shook his head with a smile and finished ringing them up.

 

_____________

 

Hongseok peppered kisses across Jinho’s exposed stomach. It was still rising and falling with each pant as the older finally started to catch his breath. Satisfied, he looked upwards through his lashes. Jinho still had one fist tangled in the sheets beside his head and an arm thrown over his face. Even though he’d agreed to let Hongseok suck him off for the first time, he’d been too embarrassed to watch.

The younger crawled onto the bed beside him, resting his chin in his palm. 

“You okay?” He asked, voice a little off. Jinho’s mouth opened and quickly shut. Hongseok didn’t miss the slight quiver of his bottom lip.

“Hey, Jinho?” He said with a bit more concern. Gently, he pushed Jinho’s arm up and away from his face. He cracked open one eye with a grimace as Hongseok’s eyes widened.

“Did-did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?” Hongseok fretted, both hands quickly cupping Jinho’s face as he examined the tear stains running down his cheeks. 

“No, no.” Jinho croaked. “It didn’t hurt. You didn’t hurt me.” He held onto Hongseok’s wrists, still trying to ground himself after his high. His cheeks burned red both from the memory of what they’d just done and the undivided attention he was currently getting from Hongseok.

“Then what’s wrong? Why were.. why are you crying?” Hongseok brushed away the fresh tear that threatened to fall from Jinho’s eye. The brunet bit his bottom lip.

“I-I don’t know.” He answered, voice unsteady. “It felt good. It felt really good. But I just felt... a lot.”

“A lot?” Hongseok furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“It was just kind of overwhelming. I’m still sort of sad and empty but I’m happy and so in love and nervous and excited and then all of _that_ just made it a lot of emotions all at once. I guess too many.” Jinho explained as best as he could. “And it’s also a lot since this is.. I’ve... since I’ve never done any of this with another man before...”

Hongseok’s breath got caught in his throat. 

“Should I have waited longer?” He asked. Jinho shook his head.

“No, I-I liked it. I didn’t know I was going to cry.”

“So besides feeling a ton of things at once, it was okay? You’re okay we did this?” Hongseok was worried beyond belief and he was certain Jinho could tell. The little chuckle that bubbled out of the older surprised him.

“I’m okay, I promise. And it ...felt nice. It’s sort of embarrassing, but I liked it. I’m okay we did this.” Jinho assured him, slightly stumbling over his words. “But could-could you get me a pair of pajama pants? I’m um, I feel a little exposed... right now and my legs feel like jelly after that.”

“Of course.” Hongseok huffed out with a smile. He slid back off the bed and rummaged through Jinho’s dresser for a pair his thinner ones. Jinho pulled his shirt back down from where it had been pushed up to his chest as he watched Hongseok. He pulled the hem down until it came mid thigh. The cold air in the room was starting to get to him again and no matter how great it had felt, Jinho didn’t think he’d survive a second blowjob.

Hongseok padded back over to the bed, unfolding the knit pants. Jinho felt his gut tighten when he knelt down in front of the bed, the image him from earlier still fresh in his mind. The younger slid one leg into the pajamas and then the other, pulling them up until they reach his thighs.

“Can you raise your hips?” He asked as he stood back up, tapping a couple fingers against his upper thigh. Jinho nodded with uncertainty and gave his best attempt. Fortunately, his attempt was good enough, because the pajamas slid on with ease. Hongseok crawled back up beside him and wrapped his arms around his middle.

A blush bloomed over Jinho’s cheeks. 

“You’re telling the truth?” Hongseok asked softly as he nuzzled his face into Jinho’s hair. “This wasn’t uncomfortable?”

Jinho nodded. “I’m telling the truth. It... it was weird at first, but I liked it more ...than I thought I would.” He said, hooking an arm around one of Hongseok’s.

“Good.” Hongseok breathed. “Because I want to hear you make all those noises again.”

Jinho smacked the taller man in reply, his face bright red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes. I don’t always catch what autocorrect changes whether it’s actually right or not.
> 
> Because of my school schedule, it might be over a month or so before I can be anywhere near finished with another chapter. However, to ease the pain of waiting a little bit for all of you, I have created both a [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) and a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus) where I’ll be happy to talk to all of you and answer any questions you may have! If there’s anything you’d like to know about the boys that I haven’t covered in the previous chapters or if you just want to talk, I’ll try to check these accounts regularly.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for waiting for Chapter 14! Comments are always appreciated and read at least 7 times <3 I like hearing from everyone!


	15. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I took so long with this update. I was going to finish it during my thanksgiving break, but I found out my dog died on top of a lot of personal and family issues and it... was a rough time. Right after thanksgiving break we get launched into 4 consecutive weeks of finals where I go to bed at 4 am or later and wake up every morning at 9am just to get everything done and only sometimes have time to eat and breathe and this is finally my last one. I barely had time to grieve between assignments and tests and getting my things together for my school’s holiday sale and just trying to function as a person. Depression has hit me really hard and it hasn’t been this difficult to function since four years ago when I thought life felt meaningless, so I haven’t been able to do much but school work that has to get done.
> 
> *inhales*
> 
> So, this chapter is only half the size it was originally going to be, but I hated to leave you all in the dark without updates. I hope 2018 is treating all of you better than it has treated me so far and that 2019 doesn’t suck as bad as this. Thank you all for your patience. I think we all need a big group hug, a batch of fresh out of the oven cookies, a soft blanket and therapy that doesn’t cost $100 an hour.
> 
> Sorry for any spelling, grammatical or autocorrect errors.

“ _Oh shit_.” 

Hongseok and Jinho broke apart at speed of light when they heard the familiar voice. The smaller buried his face in the couch cushions as he felt it go red. Hongseok was left to awkwardly lock eyes with Yan An as he stood in the doorway in shock.

“Should... should I... _go_? Or, uh...” He stuttered, one hand gripped tight around the doorknob and the other on the handles of a grocery bag.

“...no?” Hongseok didn’t know what to say, so he just let the first thing that came to mind tumble out of his mouth. He silently thanked every god to ever exist that he still had on everything except his shirt. Jinho... well Jinho had one of Hongseok’s shirts and his boxers still on, but from where Yan An was standing, he probably looked pantsless.

He blond pursed his lips but remained frozen in the doorway. 

This was awkward.

_Really awkward._

“Hey Yan An, what are you just standing in front of the door for?” Changgu asked as he walked up behind him carrying more bags. Hongseok’s eyes flitted to where he was peeking around Yan An. His eyes went wide when he found out why Yan An had yet to enter their apartment.

“We... uh... we can... go... to another room.” Hongseok said slowly, still awkwardly hovering over Jinho on the couch.

“Now I know how you felt when you walked in on us.” Yan An admitted quietly, finally ripping his eyes away. Hongseok swallowed thickly.

“We’ll just go... put these in the kitchen. Do whatever you have to do.” Changgu quickly said, pushing past Yan An and heading to the kitchen.

Jinho buried his face in his hands and the couch.

“C-come on... we should probably... go back to my room...” Hongseok suggested as he climbed off of Jinho and the couch. He picked up the few garments that had been discarded to the floor and offered a hand to Jinho. The smaller peeked through his fingers at him.

“Did they leave?” He whispered. Hongseok nodded, his own face still as red as Jinho’s. He helped Jinho off the couch and led him back towards the bedrooms. Just to be safe, he locked the door behind them. 

“God, that was so embarrassing!” Jinho whined as he flung himself into Hongseok’s bed.

“It could have been worse if they’d come any later.” Hongseok pointed out as he scratched the back of his head. 

“Ugh, you’re right.” Jinho groaned, face down into the comforter. He turned his head to look at the other with a frown pulling his lips down at the corners. It was more of a pout, really. “Do you think Yan An thought I wasn’t wearing any pants?”

“By the look on his face? Absolutely.” Hongseok answered with a tiny chuckle before he flopped on top of Jinho on the bed.

“Wahh!” He cried out as he got smashed into the mattress under Hongseok’s weight. “You’re so heavy, you’re crushing me!”

For the older’s sake, Hongseok rolled over onto the empty space beside him. Not even a second passed before he was already wrapped around him again. They were allowed to be clingy in private, but Jinho squirmed in his arms.

“How thick are the walls in your apartment?” Jinho mumbled.

“Moderately thick? Why?” Hongseok asked, raising an eyebrow.

“....because.” He huffed in reply.

“Because...?” 

“Because you caused a problem I really wanted you to resolve.” Jinho stammered into the comforter.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Hongseok grinned, already knowing full and well what he meant.

“Fine. I’m still turned on. Happy?” He snapped. With that, Hongseok flipped him over onto his back, startling the smaller and making his eyes go wide. Softly, the younger ran a hand up Jinho’s thigh and slowly traveled inwards. That sent a multitude of alarms off in Jinho’s head. Some good, some bad, some he didn’t understand completely. 

With a gasp, he wrapped his hand around Hongseok’s wrist to stop him.

“H-hang on!” He quietly hissed, eyes glancing at the door. “I-If you do what you did the other night... I won’t be able to be quiet.”

“Then we don’t have to-“

“ _Knock knock knock_.”

They both froze.

“Uh... Hey. Me and Yan An are.. going to go get dinner.. even though we just bought ingredients to make dinner... we’re going out for steak in...uh instead!” Changgu declared, loud enough to be heard through the door. “We’ll probably be gone for an hou-what was that? Two hours. We’ll be gone for two hours. So if you um, if you need anything, give us a call.”

Both men waited until they heard Changgu’s footsteps fade down the hall and the front door open and close. Once they heard the slam of the heavy door, they sighed with relief.

“I... I think Yan An might not have seen your boxers, but I think he saw the problem you wanted me to take care of. Otherwise, they probably would have stayed.” Hongseok confessed. Jinho buried his face in his hands and yelled something indistinguishable as his face turned red. Hongseok instinctively scrunched his face at the loud noise. 

“So... when you’re done freaking out, do you want me to take care of said problem?” Hongseok asked over Jinho’s incoherent noises. Once he calmed down, he peeked up at the taller through his fingers and nodded sheepishly. That put a sly smile on Hongseok’s face that made Jinho’s stomach do a flip.

 

 

Turns out, two hours was more than enough time to solve Jinho’s problem. Maybe more than enough for a couple times with time left to spare.

So what else would they do besides snuggle up under the blankets and watch some random anime on Netflix? Hongseok was sitting with his back against a pile of pillows and his legs crossed, Jinho fitting perfectly in the empty space between them. The smaller was resting his head against Hongseok’s chest. The laptop they were watching on was safely perched on his lap. 

He really should be better at this by now. At watching something and _not_ falling asleep halfway through. But between being satisfyingly tired after getting off, cuddling afterwards, and being nice and cozy, it was proving to be too difficult. Jinho kept finding himself blinking his eyes open, not remembering when they closed in the first place. His dozing wasn’t obvious at first, but when his head rolled to the side and then jerked back up, there was no denying it.

“Do you wanna watch this another night?” Hongseok asked, pausing the show and running a thumb over Jinho’s knuckles. Oh? When did they start holding hands? Jinho must have been asleep when it happened. 

“No, it’s okay. I can stay awake.” He said, only half believing his own words. In an attempt to wake himself up a little, he tried to reposition himself. The way he was sitting originally was still the comfiest, so all he really did was waste three minutes shuffling around only to end up right back where he was. Hongseok snaked his arms around Jinho’s waist.

“Okay, that’s enough wiggling. Are you sure it’s okay? You’ve had a long day, we could just go to bed.” He insisted. Jinho shook his head, feeling Hongseok’s tank top wrinkle up against the back of his head. 

“It’s barely ten, I can stay awake. One more episode.” 

“Okay.” Hongseok said with a smile and subtle eye roll before hitting play.

About ten minutes in, they heard the front door open and a set of keys jingle.

“Do you think they’re... done?” Asked a muffled voice through the wall.

“I don’t know. They’re in that weird honeymoon stage where they can’t keep their clothes on or keep their hands off each other, I guess.” Said another voice. Jinho could practically see Yan An’s shoulders shrug through the wall.

“I just feel bad for making things awkward. What did we do when Hongseok walked in on us? Didn’t we get too embarrassed to even do anything afterwards?” The first voice had to be Changgu’s by how concerned it sounded. Hongseok shifted behind Jinho, uncomfortable from the memory of walking in on the couple he lived with. Jinho paused the show again. 

“You were right, the walls are pretty thin.”

 

____________

 

With a jingle of his keys, Jinho unlocked the front door and happily stepped into the apartment. Hyunggu was finally home from the dance camp and Jinho had been kind enough to let him have the apartment for some much needed alone time with Yuto after a month of not seeing each other. To avoid any... repeats of the last time he walked in on those two, he’d been sure to call before he actually arrived at the apartment building.

Said couple was piled on the couch haphazardly wrapped in a bright purple blanket watching a rerun of Power Rangers on Hulu when Jinho walked into the living room.

“Okay Yuto, it’s my turn to cuddle the heck out of Hyunggu.” He laughed as he entered. The two younger men whipped their heads around.

“Jinho!” Hyunggu happily exclaimed. He probably would have jumped up to give Jinho a big hug if Yuto didn’t have a death grip around his waist. The taller boy had a playful pout on his face, not ready to give up quality time with his boyfriend just yet. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, is there room on the couch for one more?” Jinho asked as he let his bag drop to the floor. They both scooted over to make room for the eldest. He sat his phone on the coffee table and plopped down beside them, immediately gluing himself to Hyunggu.

“Jinhooooo, you’re clingier than Yuto! You really did miss me!” Hyunggu grinned, rubbing their cheeks together since Yuto still had his arms on lockdown. 

“Of course I missed you, you little brat!” Jinho chuckled, pinching Hyunggu’s cheek. The youngest boy grimaced and rolled his eyes, making Yuto giggle at the scene. 

“Did Hongseokkie do okay keeping you company?” Hyunggu asked with a serious, concerned pout. Jinho paused.

It was a little rough somewhere in the middle, but he got through it thanks to Hongseok. That counted as a success, right? Hongseok had an entire arsenal of options to try to help Jinho get through it. Plenty of which Jinho wasn’t ready to disclose to Hyunggu or Yuto just yet.

“Y-Yeah! He did great! It wasn’t nearly as bad this time!” Jinho assured him, unable to control the oddly insincere tone of his voice. Yuto raised an eyebrow, clearly catching it.

“...are you sure it was okay?” Hyunggu’s pout disappeared and was replaced with a worried stare.

“Yes! I promise. It really was better. It got... kind of bad at one point, but Hongseok stopped it from getting worse! So it’s fine!” He quickly explained. A little too quickly. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? 

“He really helped?” Hyunggu continued.

“Y-Yeah. He.. um, helped a lot.” Jinho nodded, avoiding Hyunggu’s eyes that were a little too intense for comfort.

“What did he do that helped?” The younger questioned. “That way we’ll know what works best if this happens again!”

Jinho froze. Was he blushing?

“H-he-he uh, we... Hongseok...” stuttering was apparently the only thing he was capable of right now. 

“H-Hey, are you okay Jinho?” Yuto asked from over Hyunggu’s shoulder. He released Hyunggu from his hug and rubbed a comforting hand up and down Jinho’s arm.

“I-I’m perfectly fine!” He said a little too quickly. He wasn’t ready to reveal his big self discovery and relationship with Hyunggu just yet. But he had no clue what to say.

“Are you sure? Your face is really red and you feel really warm even through your shirt sleeve...” Yuto stated, blinking down at where his hand had stopped midway up Jinho’s arm.

“I-I’m just... embarrassed!” Jinho sputtered. “Yeah.. embarrassed.”

Hyunggu scrunched his face in confusion. “What are you embarrassed about?”

“I... I’ve never... that’s the first time Hongseok saw me get that bad and it was embarrassing.” Jinho answered. That... sounded valid. He was going to run with that. But he thought he felt his heart stop when Hyunggu’s face fell.

“...did he not react well?” Hyunggu asked.

“No! No, no, no.” Jinho quickly replied. “He was calm about it. That’s why he was so good at helping, he didn’t freak out. I just felt embarrassed since he was seeing me like that for the first time. He was willing to do whatever he thought would help me and it was just... embarrassing having to rely on him...”

“Ah...” Hyunggu nodded, lowering his gaze. When he lifted his head again, he looked sad. “Did I overreact the first time I saw you like that?” Jinho pursed his lips.

“I.. wouldn’t say you... okay... yeah a little.” He admitted. The youngest buried his face in his hands.

“Ugh, I thought I was being too much.” He groaned. Yuto pulled him back against his chest into another hug, hooking his chin over the shorter man’s shoulder.

“I’m sure you couldn’t help it if it was the first time, right? Jinho couldn’t be mad if you were just trying to help him, right Jinho?” Yuto reassured, looking to Jinho for confirmation.

“I’m not mad, Hyunggu. You just go all in when you care about someone. It can be sort of overwhelming. I know your intentions were in the right place.” Jinho joined in. Hyunggu lifted his head. Jinho smiled when he looked a little less defeated.

“I’m just glad at least Hongseok seems to know what he’s doing. I’ll have to get him to teach me.” 

“I-I... don’t think all of his methods would work for you...” Jinho stammered, face starting to heat up again.

“Oh? Then what’s something I _could_ do?”

“Well he...” Jinho paused. “He stayed the night a few times. I um, asked if he’d... cuddle with me like you do in the mornings sometimes to wake me up. He even took off from work to spend afternoons with me in bed... He didn’t object... so that was one thing.”

“Well if it was something based off of what we already do, that’d be easy.” Hyunggu looked relieved. “But that’s cute that he agreed to cuddle. I’ve only ever seen you two cuddle when you’re drunk.”

“Ahaha... Yeah...” Jinho awkwardly laughed. “When I started to feel less tired and got a little of my appetite back he cooked dinner for me, but he brought me to the grocery to get me out of the house and to see if anything else sounded appetizing to me. He ended up buying whatever I mentioned sounded good on top of the ingredients we needed without me knowing until it was all paid for. I didn’t really want to go out but since I was starting to feel better by then it wasn’t as bad.”

“Ooh, that’s a good idea.” Hyunggu had a look on his face that clearly said “Why didn’t I think of that first”.

“Hongseok must really care about you.” 

Jinho blinked at Yuto in surprise.

“W-what?”

“He must really care about you if he’s willing to do all that for you. He took off work just to be there when you needed someone. That’s a pretty big thing for a broke college student.” Yuto explained. 

“I... guess you’re right. I mean we are best friends after all...” those words felt bitter on his tongue. He didn’t enjoy saying them when he knew they weren’t the whole truth.

“You two seem as close as Yuto and Wooseok then.” Hyunggu hummed. Jinho let out a long breath of relief.

“He’d do something like that for me if I wasn’t doing well.” Yuto agreed. “And he knows I’d do that for him too.” 

 

____________

 

“Hey, can I talk to you really quick?” Hongseok quickly asked after Hyunggu left the room.

Since Hyunggu was finally home from camp and through with Jinho’s make-up cuddle time, they had agreed to have dinner together like they had before. Hongseok and Jinho would cook and Hyunggu would give encouragement from somewhere while waited for the meal to be done.

“Of course, what’s wrong?” Jinho asked as he stirred some vegetables around in the pan.

“So you know how... I got beat up a few times?” Hongseok started with hesitation.

“...yeah? I’m glad it stopped happening. What about it?” 

“Well it... um... it was assault. Because I’m into men. A classmate’s friend recorded that video you saw of us at the party. He used it to out me to the whole school.” He lowered his voice as he started to go into further detail.

Jinho sat down the spoon and turned to Hongseok in shock.

“Yan An got it reported and my classmate got suspended and lost his scholarships. He didn’t really like that and targeted me directly. He beat me up at the gym a couple times. I didn’t know what to do. I thought fighting back would just make it worse, even though I knew I could take him. So I just let him do his worst in hopes that he’d just leave me alone.”

“Hongseok...oh my god.”

“But Yan An has a really good lawyer and he reported him to the police. He helped me gather up evidence and got him arrested.” Hongseok took a deep breath. “Now the trial to see how long his sentence is going to be is soon and I had said you were a witness...”

“So you need me to be at the trial?” Jinho asked.

“...yeah. I’m sorry for dragging you into this.” Hongseok stared down into the pot of simmering soup.

“No, no, ‘Seok. It’s okay. I’d happily go, whether I was legally required to or not.” Jinho patted his back in reassurance. “I don’t want anyone to hurt you and get away with it. If my account of everything will help put that guy behind bars for a long time, I’ll do everything I can.”

Hongseok smiled at Jinho, still looking a little guilty. 

“Thanks Jinho.” He reached for Jinho’s hand and gave it a thankful squeeze.

“Who else is a witness?” He quietly asked. “If I’m allowed to know.”

Hongseok let out an amused little chuckle. “Yeah, you’re allowed to know since you already know most of them.” He pulled his hand away from Jinho’s to stir the soup while he spoke. “Changgu and Yan An are witnesses, I feel like that was pretty obvious though. The girl who works at the gym I go to, Soyeon, she’s a witness. There’s a few others I thought could be too... so... Sanghyuk is one...” 

Jinho tried not to frown at the mention of the man’s name.

“I know you don’t really like him, but he was... we were dating around the time all this was happening, so he knows a lot about the situation.” Hongseok said with a sigh. “Yan An had talked with the Dean about it too, since he’d been who Yan An reported the video to. So we’ll see if we can get him in there too.”

“That sounds like a pretty solid list of witnesses.” Jinho stated.

“Witnesses for what?” Hyunggu asked as he walked back into the room. Jinho turned around and blinked in surprise. He’d gotten so used to Hyunggu not being here that he’d forgotten to talk quieter.

“Uhhh...” Jinho looked at Hongseok in slight panic.

“I was just telling Jinho about a story one of the kids I oversee at the daycare told the other day. It sounded like a lie but he had five kids say they saw him do it.” Hongseok quickly lied, shooting a glance at Jinho as a way of asking “did I do okay?”.

“What’d he claim to have done?” Hyunggu seemed to have bought the lie as he plopped onto the couch.

“He... said he jumped off the top of the monkey bars during recess without wiping out when he landed. I thought it sounded like a lie since it’d be hard for a kid his size to land without getting himself hurt from that height.” The tallest continued to lie.

“Oooh, impressive.” Hyunggu nodded. 

Jinho let his shoulders slump in relief. 

 

 

“So, I’ve been wanting to ask...” Hyunggu started as he scooted the last few veggies around on his plate. “Are you seeing anybody new Hongseokki?”

Jinho jumped as Hongseok started choking beside him.

“Oh my god, you killed him.” Jinho said, looking at the youngest in horror. He hoped he could change the topic as quickly as possible.

“Geez, are you okay? I didn’t really kill you did I?” Hyunggu asked, sort of worried.

“I’m-“ _Cough_ , “still coughing, aren’t I?” Hongseok wheezed. “I can’t be dead if I’m still trying to breathe.”

“He makes a fair point.” Jinho shrugged. He patted Hongseok on the back a few times as his coughing finally started to die down.

“Ugh. Sorry. I just... choked on a piece of cabbage.” Hongseok said as he cleared his throat one last time.

“That’s not what you usually choke on.” Jinho pointed out. He froze after he realized all the different ways that comment could be taken. Hongseok just narrowed his eyes at him in confusion.

“Now that you’re not dying, are you still single?” Hyunggu reiterated. Jinho drew his lips into a line at his roommate’s persistence.

“I-I... I’m not...” Hongseok stammered, scratching at his nape. “Really... looking for a new relationship right now.”

Well, that wasn’t a _lie_. He was with Jinho now, so he wasn’t looking for a another relationship.

“Was the break up with Sanghyuk really that bad?” Hyunggu pouted.

“Oh... no... I just... we weren’t right for each other and I’ve been busy with a lot of things already. So... looking for someone new just isn’t really my top priority.” Hongseok’s ears were tinged with a subtle pink.

“So the problem is just time?” Hyunggu leaned his chin into the palm of his hand. 

“Y-Yeah. I just don’t really have the time to get to know a new person.”

“What if I set you up on a blind date with someone I know?” 

It was Jinho’s turn to choke, but his mouth was empty.

“A blind date? If he doesn’t have time to meet someone new, why would he go on a blind date?” That came out a little more frustrated than Jinho intended it to be. Hyunggu’s brows furrowed. 

“But then he wouldn’t have to do the looking himself! I have plenty of very nice, incredibly handsome friends I could introduce him to! He wouldn’t have to do anything beside show up!” Hyunggu said defensively.

“Most of your friends are three years younger than him. I doubt he’d date someone that young.”

“Hey! They’re not children!”

“Most of them are EIGHTEEN!” Jinho pointed out in exasperation. “That’s basically a child!”

“Can we lower the volume here... just a little?” Hongseok asked.

Jinho and Hyunggu turned to him with apologetic looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry Hyunggu. I really appreciate the offer, but I just don’t think an uncertain relationship is something I need right now.” 

“Oh.” Hyunggu’s face fell. “I’m sorry for pushing a blind date on you.”

“You’re just trying to help, don’t be sorry.” Hongseok reached over the coffee table and gave Hyunggu’s shoulder a soft squeeze. That made younger smile a little.

____________

 

“You don’t have to be so shy about all this you know.” Jaeyoon said with a smile. Hongseok turned his head to listen in on the conversation between his friend and boyfriend. Jinho was blushing from ear to ear. It was hard to hear what they were saying over the noise from the party.

Inseong had suggested they have one last hurrah before classes started back up for the semester. Much to everyone’s surprise, Seokwoo agreed to having the party at his place. It’d been a while since they’d all been to his house. He’d managed to snag a nice place for a reasonable rent price not too far from the school. It was a cozy two story house with two bedrooms that was big enough to accommodate guests but small enough to keep it from feeling lonely. 

Every time he’s here it takes him by surprise. It’s always so clean. What college student who lives alone has a clean house? It’s unheard of. And yet, Seokwoo’s house is the definition of minimal chic. It’s mostly due to being unable to afford anything besides tuition, but still. There’s at least one candle on every flat surface, plants sitting in corners or hanging from the ceiling every two feet, and artsy posters hanging on the walls. His house always smells like some aromatic herb garden. All of his furniture matches, dark stained wood, shiny aluminum and warm gray upholstery. Hongseok bets he bought the majority of it at IKEA. His floors are all either white tiles or dark hardwood and his walls are painted varying shades of gray. 

Hongseok occasionally wonders if Seokwoo would be interested in having a roommate, but only after accidentally walking in on Changgu and Yan An. 

“I...I know... it’s just really different than what I’m used to, y’know?” Jinho stammered, barely loud enough to break Hongseok’s thoughts away from his house envy towards Seokwoo. The two were sitting across from each other on separate fuzzy black bean bags. Jinho was fiddling with the can of beer in his hand. Jaeyoon’s recently dyed hair shined a dark navy blue from the silvery fairy lights hanging over both their heads. Those were a Christmas gift from Changgu last year, Hongseok remembered Seokwoo opening them in confusion.

He had to strain his ears to hear what they were saying when Seungyeon turned up the speakers when Dally came on shuffle. Why was he sitting so far away? 

“What’s so different about it in the end, though?” Jaeyoon asked, taking a quick sip of whatever drink Inseong had mixed for him earlier. “He’s still someone you like, right?”

“I mean, of course he is. But... this whole dating a guy thing is new.” Jinho tried to explain. “Wasn’t it weird for you when you first dated a guy?”

“No, I didn’t really think it was strange. I just knew I liked him and that was all that mattered.” He replied thoughtfully. “Even if it was a new experience, that didn’t stop me from being affectionate or talking about him with others.”

“Then why is it so hard to so hard not to be embarrassed?” Jinho asked. Something in his face looked sad and confused. It made Hongseok ache. Was he embarrassed to be with him?

“Didn’t you say you’ve never really felt this invested before?” 

“...yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say I’m in love with anyone and mean it except for him.”

“Then maybe that’s it. You’re just embarrassed because your feelings for someone have never been this strong before. You’re not used to it yet, so you get flustered more easily.”

Jinho was quiet for a moment.

“You think... that’s it?” 

“I don’t know what it be otherwise if you really like him that much.” Jaeyoon smiled warmly. It looked like any sense of doubt melted out of Jinho right then and there. Hongseok let out a long breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“You better be staring down your boyfriend and not mine.” Hongseok jumped when a hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned his head to see a slightly spooked Inseong standing next to him. “Geez, don’t scare a guy like that I was just trying to start up a conversation.”

“You’re the one who came outta nowhere, why did you get scared?” Hongseok laughed, eyes still flitting back to Jinho occasionally.

“I... I’m not scared.” Inseong quickly retorted.

“...you literally just admitted to it a few seconds ago.” He pointed out.

“Fine, you got me. I scare easy. I can’t help it.” The older shrugged. “But I saw you undressing Jinho with your eyes. Seokwoo will kill you if you two get it on in his house.”

“I-I wasn’t undressing him with my eyes, you old perv!” Hongseok shot back.

“ _Sure_ you weren’t.” Inseong rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you go talk to somebody instead of staring at your man then? We’re all friends here.”

“Like you haven’t been doing the same to Jaeyoon most of the night?” Hongseok said mischievously, raising an eyebrow. Inseong gawked back at him.

“How could I not!? Have you seen him? He’s starting to become a gym rat just like you. The guy’s been bulking up and _god_ , is it hot.” Inseong gasped. Hongseok was worried he was going to start drooling. 

“Since when did he start going to the gym?” He dared to ask.

“Mm.. beginning of summer maybe?” Inseong hummed, rubbing his chin. “I just know he can carry me back home no problem when I’m drunk off my ass now.”

“...that’s reassuring.”

“And he can slam dunk me into the bed too.”

“Didn’t need to know that. I’m going to go find someone else to talk to.” Hongseok patted Inseong’s shoulder and scanned the room for a conversation to join.

“‘Seokkie, come dance with us!” Seungyeon yelled over the music when she saw him looking lost. It was better than hearing Inseong talking about how Jaeyoon’s visits to the gym benefitted their sex life, so he shrugged and walked over to where Seungyeon, Yeeun, Seunghee, and Yujin were dancing. 

“I haven’t seen you enjoying yourself this much in a while.” He said with a smile when he saw Yujin. 

“I haven’t had the time to!” She grinned back, still dancing. He felt a tug on his left arm. When he whipped his head around to see who it was, Seunghee was waggling her eyebrows at him. He laughed and let her pull him into an empty space. Seunghee was fun to dance with since she wasn’t super serious about dancing well, just about moving around and having fun. So when another upbeat song came on, they both instinctually started dancing like the old people you see at karaoke bars. Everyone was sputtering with laughter around them at how in sync they were. Changgu spared no time in joining in. 

Jaeyoon and Jinho both wandered over to hype them up further. They whistled and clapped to the beat of the song from the edge of the makeshift dance floor that was the empty space where the coffee table used to be. Hongseok pulled Jinho in as soon as he’d finished his beer.

“Hope it’s not too embarrassing, but I’d rather dance with my boyfriend.” He said with a dazzling smile he knew would make Jinho blush.

____________

 

“Thanks for driving me home.” Jinho hummed as he undid his seatbelt.

“Thanks for coming to the party.” Hongseok said in return. “And for dancing with me in front of everyone.”

Jinho felt his cheeks heat up a little. 

“It-it was fun.” He ran a hand up and down his arm nervously before turning back to Hongseok. “I’ll be less shy in front of your friends next time. I promise.”

Hongseok gave him a sympathetic smile and ruffled his hair.

“This is still weird for you, so don’t rush yourself if it’s too much, okay? I can wait.” He told him softly.

That made Jinho feel all mushy. 

He was really starting to get used to this. 

“Hey,” he started, leaning a bit closer and lowering his voice. “I really think I love you.”

“Really, really?” Hongseok said, doing the same. 

“Really, really.”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure I love you too.” With that, Hongseok lifted Jinho’s chin and gave him one of the sweetest kisses he’s ever had. Something inside him was thankful that he’d be able to remember this as a happy memory since he stopped himself after three cans of beer.

A loud clanging noise made them both jump and pull away from each other. Jinho stared at the source of the sound in fear. 

“I-is that....” Hongseok mumbled, staring straight at the blushing and gaping person in front of the car.

“Shit.” He breathed. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-“ he continued to say as he opened the door and threw himself out of the car, eyes never once leaving the young man staring at the car in shock as cans of soda rolled away from his feet.

“Yuto, Yuto. I know... this... is weird, but don’t freak out.” Jinho reasoned. Yuto’s eyes jerked away from Hongseok and towards Jinho.

“Wh-why were... what... I-I thought-“ He pointed at the car, confused but still trying to piece everything together in his mind. 

“I’ll explain but you have to promise not to say anything to anyone yet, okay?” Jinho said, bending down and picking up the grocery bag and run away cans of soda off the sidewalk. Hongseok unbuckled and turned off the car, getting out to join Jinho and Yuto in front of the apartment building. 

“Yuto, you can’t tell Hyunggu about this.” He said as he approached them. “Hat will make things really messy right now.”

“B-but you... and you were just-“

“I know, but you can’t tell him, I have to tell him. So you can’t say anything until then, okay?” Jinho explained, handing the bag back to Yuto. “And don’t open the dented ones for a while.”

“This is... a long story...” Hongseok sighed. Yuto crouched down onto the side walk, head in his hands.

“But I thought you were....Hyunggu said you like girls... you’ve only dated girls before...”

“That... I um... found out I don’t actually like girls.” Jinho said, clearing his throat. He sat down beside Yuto on the sidewalk.

“And... I was the reason he figured that out. Hence what you just saw...” Hongseok added as he joined them on the curb.

“I figured that out because of him and we’ve been dating for about three months now...”

“Thr-three months!?” Yuto exclaimed. Hongseok and Jinho quickly shushed him. 

“Yeah, three months.” Hongseok nodded.

“I started liking him when I first met him in January, but didn’t realize it until April. He confessed to me back in March, but I still thought I was straight then so I didn’t take it well.” Jinho recounted.”

“And when he figured it out I was dating someone else. But I couldn’t get over Jinho so I broke up with that guy on my birthday. And when Jinho invited me over for dinner he was doing it to comfort me, but originally it was to confess. That’s why I was there when you and Hyunggu came home.”

“It’s been... a mess. But... I figured out I wasn’t straight, confessed to Hongseok, and now we-we’re dating.” Jinho stumbled over his words.

“We weren’t going to say anything until Jinho was certain and comfortable about all of this since it was so new to him. So we haven’t told Hyunggu. You can’t say anything since we haven’t told him yet. It might hurt him if he finds out Jinho has been keeping this secret for so long through you and not one of us.” Hongseok clarified.

“So please, please don’t say a word of this to him, okay?” Jinho put a hand on Yuto’s shoulder. Though his words were gentle, everything else seemed a like a warning not to say anything or else.

“...I-I want to go home.” Yuto squeaked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because things are hard I can’t promise a set timeframe for the next update. Please wait for it. I won’t abandon this. I’ve become too dependent on Pentagon to abandon this now.
> 
> I’m still available to be contacted on Twitter and Tumblr, but I don’t check Tumblr as often... because I forgot my password... I’ll make the chapter update post when I remember it.


	16. Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning in advance:  
> I went to art school, not law school. I have absolutely no idea how any freaking judicial system works. The trial scenes probably aren’t 100% realistic, but my knowledge of what goes on in them doesn’t extend past a childhood of watching Judge Judy and a 40 minute research session with google.

“What are we gonna do? I don’t even know what to say to Hyunggu!” Jinho groaned in distress. He paced back and forth on the pavement. Hongseok watched him walk back and forth with his eyebrows knitted together. Yuto was sitting a little ways away from him on the curb, still looking distraught over this surprise reveal and anxiously sucking in smoke from his cigarette.

“Well with the look you gave Yuto earlier, I”m pretty sure he thinks you’ll kill him if he says anything.” Hongseok replied. He shot a glance towards the youngest.

“I-I swear I won’t say anything!” Yuto quickly blurted, the eye contact scaring him out of his shocked daze.

“I’m not trying to threaten you into silence, Yuto.” Jinho sighed. “I just want to be the one to tell him.”

“That seems like the best thing to do.” Hongseok agreed.

“And I mean... I’m sure he’s probably been a little suspicious because of how much time I spend with Hongseok and some of the things I’ve said, but...” He trailed off, suddenly feeling slightly ashamed.

“...but?” Yuto repeated.

“I’ve known the kid since he was a baby. The only time I’ve ever lied to him was about Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. He knows I’d never lie to him, so he probably still thinks I’m straight. Heck, I seriously thought I was too.” Jinho explained. “I haven’t really said anything to him to signal that my orientation is different than what I thought it was either. He also hasn’t tried to ask about it recently.”

“He has a lot of trust in you.” Hongseok nodded. “He can be a little shit, but he’s a good kid who looks up to you.”

“That’s why I need to time this right.”

“You sound like you’re planning out when to plant a bomb.” Hongseok laughed lightly.

“I mean... that’s not... completely untrue. If I don’t ease into it when I tell him, it will really feel like I’m dropping a bomb on the poor kid.” Jinho sighed in defeat, sitting back down on the curb beside Hongseok and pulling his knees up to his chest.

“Do... you want me to bring it up tonight?” Yuto quietly asked, playing with the ring on his right thumb nervously before taking another drag. “So you could prepare Hyunggu for it?”

“No.” Jinho snapped, unintentionally. He looked shocked at his own reaction. “Er-sorry. Please, not tonight. I still don’t know what to actually say.”

“Then... if not tonight, when are you going to tell him?” Yuto hesitantly looked towards Jinho.

“I... don’t know.” The eldest slumped over onto his knees in despair.

“Maybe you could just... start throwing out subtle hints?” Hongseok suggested. “Or let him know you have something important to tell him but you haven’t figured out how to say it?”

“Ugh. Why do you have such good ideas I’m too scared to carry out?” Jinho groaned.

“Why are you scared? Hyunggu wouldn’t be upset if he knew about you two dating. He already calls you his parents anyway.” Yuto said, confused.

“I’m not scared of getting rejected by Hyunggu for dating Hongseok, I’m worried about admitting to lying to him this whole time.” He rested his cheek on the top of his knee and stared at the other two.

“But you haven’t really said you two weren’t dating, and you haven’t said you’re straight for a while though, right? Is it really lying if you haven’t said anything false?” Jinho blinked at Yuto in surprise. Where did the shy giant go? Who is this wise old man sitting on the curb?

“But he was still withholding information, which can be considered just as bad as lying.” Hongseok pointed out, shattering Yuto’s sudden sage-like image.

“Oh, that’s true...” Yuto pulled at his sleeves, eyes back on the pavement.

“I’ll figure it out soon. But he’s probably wondering why you’re taking so long to get a few cans of soda from the convenience store.” Jinho said, pointing towards Yuto’s bag of very shaken cans of soda.

“He’s going to smell that I smoked and kill me...” Yuto mumbled, staring at his cigarette he’d lit not long after Jinho broke the news to him. Jinho looked at the kid with pity. Hyunggu had just been bragging about how he was helping Yuto give up the sticks of death and that he hadn’t touched one in over two weeks now. If he hadn’t seen Jinho and Hongseok kissing he wouldn’t have gotten so stressed. It was just bad timing.

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Hongseok asked, running a hand up and down Jinho’s back. He felt heat rise in his cheeks from Hongseok’s affection. Yuto knew now, but it still felt strange. Like he shouldn’t be doing this. He shook off the thought. That’s just what his parents conditioned him to think.

“If you come in, you gotta spend the night or else I might fuck up and say something since I’m still a little drunk... I’ll need someone to shut me up.” Jinho admitted.

“You... you’re drunk?” Yuto exclaimed in further confusion.

“We just came from a party some of my friends put together. He’s not drunk _drunk_ , just a little loose lipped after three beers.” Hongseok clarified. “I’m only here because I drove him home from the party.”

“All of this makes a little more sense now.” Yuto slowly nodded.

____________

 

Carefully, Hongseok shifted to pull his arm out from under Jinho. It had been under him for over two hours and he hadn’t been able to feel it for a worryingly long amount of time. He tried to hold off as long as he could, hating to wake Jinho, but he was actually starting to fear for the safety of his arm.

The bed creaked just as his arm was almost free. He froze, worried he woke up Jinho. The older just barely stirred. With a quiet sigh of relief, Hongseok pulled his arm free. It didn’t take long for the pins and needles feeling to kick in. The stinging was especially strong this time, probably from having Jinho on top of it for two hours.

“Shit.” Hongseok breathed through gritted teeth. He was trying his best to suffer silently, but _god_ was he struggling.

“Mm...?” Jinho grumbled softly, rubbing at his eyes. “...Hongseok?”

The younger frowned at his failure to not to wake the brunet. Though Jinho didn’t same much in his semi-conscious state, Hongseok knew what he was asking. _Are you still there? Are you okay?_

“I’m here. My arm fell asleep so it’s all tingly now.” He told him quietly, trying not to sound pained.

“Oh.” Jinho breathed. A few more seconds passed before Hongseok could move his arm without wincing. Once it stopped tingling, he rolled back onto his side to face Jinho, folding his arm under the pillow. With a sigh, the older rolled over and buried his face in Hongseok’s chest. 

For Jinho’s sake, he’d walked him up to his apartment to come up with a cover up story until Jinho knew what to say to Hyunggu. The most reasonable thing he could think of to say was that Jinho was drunk, so he was taking him home and they almost hit Yuto in the parking lot because they didn’t see him in his all black clothes. That took care of the issue of explaining why he was here, why Jinho seemed off, why Yuto took so long, and gave Yuto another reason to have been so stressed he resorted to smoking after two weeks without a cigarette. He only got a short stern lecture from his boyfriend thanks to the story. After that, Hyunggu suggested Hongseok stay and chat for a little while since they hadn’t seen each other in so long.

As more time passed, Jinho had started to get quieter. Hongseok figured keeping up the act was getting to him. Even Hyunggu picked up on it. He was the one how asked if Hongseok would like to stay the night. 

“You can probably help him more than I can.” Hyunggu had said before he headed to bed. Yuto was already passed out in his bedroom, all the stress of today had worn him out. They all agreed he was in no condition to drive back home. Hongseok smiled and nodded, thankful Hyunggu didn’t question when he followed Jinho into his bedroom.

He’d started leaving spare pajamas and sweatpants in Jinho’s room when Hyunggu had been away for that dance camp. He changed into them quietly as Jinho did the same. The shorter man had fallen asleep first, leaving Hongseok to worry about him as he held him tight around the waist and close to his chest.

“Do you think he’s going to be mad?”

Hongseok looked down at where Jinho was curled against him. Softly, he slid a had under the back of Jinho’s shirt and slowly ran his palm up and down his spine. He felt Jinho relax under his touch.

“He might be upset, but I don’t think he’ll be mad at you.” Hongseok answered. He kept his voice low, just above a whisper.

“I still don’t know what to say.”

“Then think about it tomorrow, go back to sleep.”

“I’m not embarrassed to be dating you. You know that, right?” Jinho mumbled, voice so soft it was almost just a breath. 

Hongseok blinked, caught off guard when his brain registered what Jinho had said.

“I... I know.”

“I don’t regret confessing.” Jinho continued, barely awake. 

“I’m glad you don’t regret it.”

“I love you.” Jinho sighed, fists slowly clenching around the lose fabric of Hongseok’s t-shirt. “So much.”

“I love you too.” Hongseok wrapped his arm around the older and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

“Love you.” Jinho repeated, dragging out his word like he was hanging onto them just to stay awake long enough to say them.

“Love you, to the end of the universe and back.” Hongseok whispered, letting his eyes flutter closed. 

Out of all of the times Hongseok had been with Jinho, he’s never been as honest, as innocent and as fragile as he was when he’s fighting back sleep. There’s something about Jinho’s barely conscious “I love you”’s that really tug at his heart. Jinho at 1:46am might just be his favorite Jinho. 

____________

 

Preparing for the fall semester was tiring even post-graduation. Jinho groaned into the palms of his hands as he took inventory of all the studio equipment and made sure everything still functioned after the pre-college classes had finished. He’d accepted a job as a full time TA for his old professor. It paid well and the guy he worked for was decent, that’s all he could ask. On the plus side, he got unlimited access to the studio at any time. On the downside, he has to deal with students. At least he knows Hui will behave.

He jumped as his phone dinged in the silence of the sound booth. It had been a few hours since he’d had a break, checking his phone wouldn’t hurt. While he was at it, he’d figure out what to do about lunch.

 

From Hui:  
How’s my favorite guy holding up? Ready for the new semester?

From Jinho:  
Your favorite guy is on equipment inventory duty. Wanna take over for me?

From Hui:  
Nice try, but I gotta finish cleaning the apartment just so I can find all my supplies

From Jinho:  
You’re no fun

From Jinho:  
I was even going to offer to buy you lunch

From Hui:  
Hmmmmm

From Hui:  
That’s tempting

From Hui:  
...what are you buying?

From Jinho:  
You really think I’ve decided that yet?

From Hui:  
I had hoped you’d prove me wrong

From Jinho:  
Sorry to disappoint 

From Hui:  
Speaking of disappointing, Hyojong somehow managed to make Debbie gain more weight with diet cat food than she did with non-diet cat food 

From Hui:  
He had to take her to the vet yesterday for a check up and they reprimanded him

From Hui:  
She’s on a strict non-fat and limited treats diet that I’m stuck enforcing because Hyojong is weak against her big round eyes and high pitched meows

From Jinho:  
Fucking incredible

From Hui:  
Says the one who didn’t have to lug the diet cat food up to the apartment

From Hui:  
I had to smack Hyojong’s hands away from the treat jar this morning

From Hui:  
He has no will power at all.

From Jinho:  
You know how he is with animals. 

From Jinho:  
He used all his lunch money back in high school to buy cans of tuna to feed stray cats in his neighborhood, didn’t he? That’s why he looks like a darn twig

From Hui:  
He looks like a twig because his metabolism is so damn high!

From Hui:  
The little shit never gains any weight!! It’s not fair!

From Jinho:  
...that fucker.....

From Hui:  
Hongseok drag you to the gym lately?

From Jinho:  
LOL

From Jinho:  
Last time we went I ended up with a huge bruise on my hip without even being on any of the equipment, you think I’d go back that easy?

From Hui:  
You caved and went again didn’t you

From Jinho:  
...

From Jinho:  
...Yes

From Hui:  
Whipped

From Jinho:  
I get a prize for every time I can break my high score for number of pull ups, shut up

From Hui:  
A prize? *eye emoji*

From Hui:  
What kind of prize?

From Jinho:  
It... varies

From Hui:  
For example?

From Jinho:  
Well

From Jinho:  
Sometimes it’s a kiss... or a home cooked meal... or

From Jinho:  
You know

From Jinho:  
Something else

From Hui:  
Getting laid?

From Jinho:  
NO NOT

From Jinho:  
...quite

From Jinho:  
Fully laid... more like... kinda laid

From Hui:  
I take it you guys haven’t gotten that comfortable/brave yet?

From Jinho:  
I think Hongseok’s ready to go whenever but...

From Jinho:  
Fuck, Hui, I’m so nervous about it 

From Hui:  
What are you nervous for?

From Hui:  
I’m sure ?hongseok knows what he’s doing

From Hui:  
Whoops ignore that ?

From Jinho:  
Of course he knows what he’s doing you fool

From Hui:  
Then what are you nervous for????

From Jinho:  
What if I mess something up? Or what if I’m really bad at it!?

From Hui:  
Well first off, it’d be your first time doing any of that. I highly doubt Hongseok would be offended if you made a mistake when you didn’t even know what you were doing in the first place.

From Jinho:  
I guess that’s true

From Hui:  
Of course it’s true

From Hui:  
And second, if Hongseok is ready to go at any time, I’m sure he’ll guide you through it. 

From Hui:  
You’ll be,ju,he gkukilliililliillii knuvkug 

From Hui:  
Llllllllllljkkjkjllkjijljiljillijijlijlbrrsgtc((5$($(5$(5$$(5$5(*5@3&-*/: ):’))/

From Hui:  
“:,,,,mhvhvj b b. Bvmnv. Jveo

From Jinho:  
...I’m sorry could you repeat that

From Hui:  
Debbie just knocked the phone out of my hand, sat on it, and proceeded to yell at me relentlessly

From Hui:  
She still hasn’t adjusted to the diet

From Jinho:  
Okay that makes more sense

From Jinho:  
I was worried your high levels of stress caught up with you and that you were having a heart attack or something

From Hui:  
Do you really take my cardiovascular system to be that weak?

From Jinho:  
I’ve seen you faint in a haunted house

From Hui:  
And I heard you scream higher than the 4 year old girls in Hongseok’s daycare class at that same haunted house, what’s your point

From Jinho:  
I’d rather not talk about that

____________

 

“I’m going to have an aneurysm before I even make it into the courtroom.” Hongseok mumbled.

“You’re going to be fine.” Jaeyoon consoled, playfully rolling his eyes.

“Now calm down and eat, I’d rather not pay for your meal if you aren’t even going to eat it.” Inseong grumbled half heartedly, truly worried for the anxious man sitting across from him.

“There’s no way Wooyoung will leave that courthouse without paying compensation at the very least.” Rowoon nodded, elbowing Hongseok gently. 

Hongseok sighed down at his meal. The steak sounded great when he’d ordered it, but anxiety did wonders at killing his appetite. Even with three of his friend sitting in the booth beside and across from him comforting him, he was already at wits end.

“I’m sure he’ll leave with more than just compensation payment.” Jaeyoon said calmly.

“You think he’ll get jail time? Or just like fake jail time where you’re locked up for under a year?” Inseong asked, chomping down onto a bbq rib.

“Depends on how the judge and jury views the case. Could be a month or so, could be years.” Rowoon replied. “But let’s stop worrying about that and enjoy our food before it gets cold.”

“I agree.” Jaeyoon hummed, picking up his knife and fork again. “We brought you here to cheer you on and treat you to a nice meal before the trial tomorrow, not to think about what could go wrong.”

“Eat up, sunshine.” Inseong said through a mouthful of meat. Hongseok half smiled at the semi-gross demand.

“Please... don’t talk with your mouth that full ever again.” Rowoon grimaced.

“It’s not attractive, ‘Seong.” Jaeyoon agreed. The eldest’s expression changed to that of a puppy in time out in the blink of an eye. 

“Thanks guys.” Hongseok quickly said, interrupting the weird silent communication suddenly happening from the couple across from him at the table.

“You don’t need to thank us.” Rowoon laughed with a hearty pat on Hongseok’s back. “I’m sure you’d do the same for us.” Inseong nodded, cheeks stuffed once again. Hongseok noticed the tiny jolt through his body as Jaeyoon’s arm moved somewhere under the table. He hoped he’d just squeezed Inseong’s thigh or something normal like that.

“Still, I really appreciate everything you guys do for me.” He continued.

“And I’m still really sorry I couldn’t get out of my meeting, the head orthopedic doctor over at the clinic didn’t have any other time available until after the internship deadline. I need that to pay my car payment next month...” Jaeyoon told him, feeling guilty for not joining his group of witnesses.

“It’s okay, everyone who can make it all have solid testimonies.” Hongseok said as he started cutting into his steak. “It won’t hurt the trial if I’m missing one testimony that’s just about the same as the others.”

“Oh good. I was so worried.” Jaeyoon sighed in relief.

“Hey, we should plan something to celebrate after you win the trial.” Inseong interrupted.

“ _If_. If I win the trial.” Hongseok corrected.

“Okay, _If_.” Inseong groaned. “But it’s gotta be something good!” They all watched as he mulled over what they could do, a half eaten pork rib still in both hands.

Jaeyoon jumped when Inseong threw the meat back down onto the plate.

“I’ve got it!” He exclaimed, gaining even more curious and annoyed stares from the other restaurant patrons sitting in the surrounding booths. Fortunately, he wasn’t oblivious to the attention and lowered his voice before continuing.

“Oh? And what’s your idea?” Rowoon asked, hesitantly.

“A foursome, _obviously_!” 

Hongseok choked on the piece of steak he just put in his mouth.

“Excuse me?” Jaeyoon said, voice a slightly higher pitch than usual.

“You, me, Hongseok, and Jinho! A four way!” Inseong explained. “We could celebrate by just going at it unt-“

“No. No. Absolutely not.” Hongseok cut in, cheeks already red. “We are _not_ doing that. Never. No way.”

“I second that.” Jaeyoon joined in.

“I’m not even a part of it but I agree with them.” Rowoon said exasperatedly. “If Jinho’s still new to all this, there’s no way he’d be comfortable sleeping with anyone besides just Hongseok, _especially_ not all at the same time.”

“Oooh come on, it’d be great!” Inseong whined. “No one gets left out in a four way!”

“No! _God_ , no!” Hongseok sputtered.

“And who said I’d agree to this?!” Jaeyoon added.

“C’mon babe, you know it’d be pretty hot.”

“No! It would be uncomfortable!” Jaeyoon shot back. Inseong stuck out his lower lip at him in disappointment.

“Now can we change the subject before they forcibly eject us from the restaurant before I can finish my meal?” Rowoon grumbled, noticing the warning glares from the servers passing by.

“Please, anything but this.” Hongseok agreed.

“Fine, Fine.” Inseong surrendered. “But...”

“Inseong, don’t you dare.” His boyfriend warned.

“Have you and Jinho even done it yet?”

“Inseong! I’m kicking your ass when we get home.”

“Ooh, kinky.”

“Not like that!”

____________

 

Jinho’s never been a witness in a trial before. Now that the trial date was here, he was more nervous than he think’s he’s eve been. With all the evidence against him, he knows the guy who assaulted Hongseok would be found guilty as long as the jury weren’t all homophobes or just plain dumb as nails. Yet some little voice in the back of his head was determined to convince him that he would singlehandedly fuck up the trial, in those exact words.

Not to mention he forgot how uncomfortable his nice gray suit was. He pulled at the hem of his blazer in discomfort as they were all herded into the court room. He felt a hand slide into his and give it strong squeeze. When he turned to see who it was, Hongseok was standing beside him, looking more anxious than he had when he invited Jinho to the pre-spring break party. Unsure whether words were welcome or allowed at this moment, all he could offer was a smile and a firm squeeze in return.

“Hey, you’re going to do fine. You have the best lawyer in Seoul on your side and plenty of evidence.” Yan An reassured the taller over the noise of people filing into the courtroom.

“There’s no way he’ll be found innocent.” Changgu agreed beside him.

Hongseok nodded, his nerves still keeping his words stuck in a lump in his throat. 

“We can do this, I’ll be here for you no matter the result.” Jinho said. Hongseok smiled at him, eyes shining with gratitude.

“We need to get to our seats.” The man Jinho thought was the lawyer quickly said before guiding Hongseok up to the front. Jinho and the others followed and took their seats where the witnesses were instructed to sit. It was him, Yan An, Changgu, Soyeon, and Sanghyuk. He wasn’t sure who the lawyer would call up to testify, since it depended on where the trial seemed to be going.

He watched as last minute instructions and encouraging words were muttered into Hongseok’s ear by the lawyer. 

Jinho knew it was useless, but he thought hard in Hongseok’s direction in a sorry attempt to silently send good luck wishes and I love you’s telepathically. It was probably childish, but the room was quoting down and he couldn’t catch Hongseok’s eye.

Once it started, it went by like a long drawn out blur. Each lawyer gave their introductory explanation and some evidence, then witnesses and specifics started to be pulled out. Legal terminology Jinho didn’t really understand was thrown around like confetti. He couldn’t fully see it, but he was pretty sure Hongseok would nervously glance over at the man in handcuffs on the other side of the room every once in a while. 

The only thing he vividly remembered was the glare that man gave him as he swore to tell the truth as he answered any question he was asked. He swore there were two holes being burned into his forehead as he sat in front of the court. Unexpectedly, the intimidation he felt was outweighed by spite.

When the lawyer asked, “Mr. Jo, what is your relationship with Mr. Yang?”, he looked the man who’d been called Jang Wooyoung dead in the eyes and answered.

“I’m his partner.”

Hongseok’s eyes had gone wide at how immediate Jinho’s answer was. He’d seen it out of the corner of his eye. 

But after that, it was all a blur again. Then they were told to exit the court room as the final decision was being made. 

It went so slow and so fast all at the same time.

As he and the others on Hongseok’s team filed outside and regrouped, Jinho felt a different set of eyes burning holes into his back.

“Wh-where was the bathroom again?” Hongseok quickly asked Changgu, who had been smart enough to go before the trial started. Jinho watched Changgu explain how to get there with overdramatic hand gesturesonly to give up with a sigh and drag Hongseok off somewhere. Yan An was discussing things with the lawyer and Soyeon was scrolling through her phone. That left Sanghyuk as the one with the searing glare on Jinho’s back. He ran a hand through his hair and turned around to face him.

“I can practically feel you trying to use laser vision to set the back of my suit on fire, Sanghyuk. What do you want?” He asked, fighting to keep his tone as civil and calm as possible.

“Even if you’re on Hongseok’s side for the trial, I really can’t say I like you.” The taller replied, voice low enough to be left unheard by the others, but loud enough for Jinho to hear over the conversations of the complete strangers that were in the court room with them minutes before.

“Likewise.” Jinho said flatly.

“If this trial doesn’t end well, It’s all because of you.”

Jinho blinked at the taller man.

“How the _hell_ is it my fault?” 

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes at that before he bothered to answer. 

“Because _you_ led him on under the disguise of being _best friends_. _You_ kissed him back when you still said you were straight.” He sneered. “If you’d just pushed him away like a _straight man_ would’ve, there would have been nothing for Wooyoung to film in the first place. Then he never would have targeted Hongseok at all.”

“I kissed him back because I’m-“ Jinho started, but the words died in his mouth as his brain processed what Sanghyuk was saying. He didn’t know what his heart was trying to tell him then. He didn’t understand any of those feelings at the time. 

 

 _Technically_ , it was his fault.

 

It was his fault just because he kissed Hongseok back.

His fault because he was the one Hongseok confessed to.

His fault because he went to the party.

His fault because he chose to befriend Hongseok.

His fault because he returned Hongseok’s shirt.

His fault because he kept the shirt he knew he wasn’t his in his laundry.

 

“That’s what I thought.” Sanghyuk grunted. “Hongseok would’ve been happier without you. It’s a shame he fell so hard for someone who’d only bring him pain.”

“I..” Jinho knew Sanghyuk was saying these things because he disliked him. He knew he was just trying to mess with his head, guilt trip him for everything he’s done. But it was working. The doubts were slowly starting to gnaw at him again.

“Don’t open your mouth if you have nothing to say.” Sanghyuk frowned. “Because of you, Hongseok missed out on the chance of me making him the happiest man alive. I was willing to give him everything. And what about you? What can you offer him? A _birthday dinner_? Is that all? I bet you don’t even know how to sleep with another man-“

“So what if I don’t?” Jinho snapped, cutting into Sanghyuk’s words. He felt tears fighting to escape, but he forced them back. Sanghyuk was reopening Jinho’s self-made wounds and he wasn’t going to let him continue. 

“So what if I don’t even know the basics of sleeping with a guy? If I’m not afraid to ask him to guide me, what’s so wrong with it?” Jinho spat. “And what do you mean _what can I offer him_? I’m giving him more than I’ve given to anyone. He’s the only one I’ve ever given my heart to. I’m giving him my love, my trust, my faith, my strength when he needs it, my weaknesses when he can handle them, my past, my present, and god I hope I can give him my future. I’m giving him everything I have.”

Jinho took a deep breath. “Acting like this... what are you giving him besides less and less reasons to believe in you?”

Sanghyuk took a step back. 

“Is there a problem, you two?” 

They both turned to look up at Yan An, towering over them with an annoyed look on his face directed towards Sanghyuk. 

“We’re here for Hongseok, not to deal with grudges.” Yan An said, eyeing Sanghyuk.

“We’re just catching up, Yan An. It’s been a while.” Jinho answered with a smile. He caught Sanghyuk’s shocked face out of the corner of his eye. “We were just finishing up.”

____________

 

Hongseok thought he was going to leave the courtroom today with an enlarged heart because how hard it’s been working all morning. Beating so hard he thought it might burst one of his lungs in the process. He felt lightheaded and dizzy for over half the trial. His mind was still reeling from how confidently Jinho had claimed to be his partner. 

_His_.

He wondered if the trial had felt like a strange haze to the others. He wanted to run over to them and beg to be taken home. Hug them and cry out all the stress and anxiety on their shoulders. It took all of his strength not to do just that as they exited the courtroom while the final decision was being made.

And his strength wasn’t quite enough.

As soon as he and Changgu stepped into the empty bathroom, his composure shattered.

“Hongseok?!” Changgu stammered as his friend burst into tears. He quickly took two big steps towards him and pulled him into his arms. “Hey, Hey, what’s wrong?”

He tried and failed to choke out an answer.

“Hongseoooook.” Changgu cooed, sliding a hand up and down his suit clad back. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I-I-I-it’s-“ hongseoked stuttered before a sob wracked his body.

“Is it too much?” Changgu asked, already guessing what Hongseok meant to say. “The trial?”

With his lip quivering, he nodded against Changgu’s shoulder.

“It’s hard isn’t it?” 

Another nod.

“But we’re almost done. And the trial seemed to be leaning in our favor.”

One more nod.

“Were you holding this in the whole time?”

And another.

“You must be really nervous, huh?”

A whole string of nods of agreement came from Hongseok. The corners Changgu’s mouth downturned into a subtle frown.

“You know we’re all here for you, right?” He asked, leaning his head against Hongseok’s.

“Yeah.” Hongseok answered with a sniffle.

“And you know we won’t stop until you’re safe and that asshole gets what he deserves, right?”

“Y-yeah, I know.”

“Good.” Changgu hummed. “Because if he walks out of there innocent I’ll punch him before the security guards can stop me.”

“Don’t. You’ll get arrested.” Hongseok said behind stifled laughter.

“If I can get arrested for a single punch, he should have a life sentence for what he did to you. No excuses.” Changgu huffed playfully.

“You know that’s never how this works out.” Hongseok replied, wiping the leftover tears from his eyes and face.

“Well it should be.”

“This is why you’re majoring in psychology and not law.” Hongseok chuckled.

 

 

The air caught in his lungs as the judge declared the final decision. It’s like his brain hyper focused on every word from his mouth and slowed them down.

_Jang Wooyoung found guilty._

_Restraining order._

_Compensation for mental and physical trauma._

The final decision was in his favor. It was in _his favor_.

He blinked. Once. Twice. Five times before a pair of arms wrapped around his middle. He looked down to see Jinho beaming and squeezing him tight. Everything still felt like it was happening at half the speed it should be.

“We did it!” Changgu said as he came bounding over with tears in his eyes.

“This is why you’re the best lawyer in Seoul.” He heard Yan An say behind him to the man he’d hired to help them win this case. 

“I knew you’d win the trial!” Soyeon told him with a big grin.

“We won?” Hongseok breathed.

“Yes! They decided Wooyoung was guilty!” Changgu exclaimed.

“Ah, Hongseok.” Jinho reached up and wiped something wet off his cheek. “You’re crying.” 

“I am?” He asked as he touched his cheek where Jinho’s thumb had just been. The shorter pouted at him and squeezed him even tighter.

“We won! You don’t have to cry over it anymore!” He whined, rocking Hongseok back and forth.

“I... I didn’t mean to...” Hongseok admitted. “We really won?”

“Of course. How many times do they have to tell you?” Sanghyuk grumbled, but his soft smile gave away his fake frustration.

“He can’t hurt you now without facing even greater consequences.” Changgu reassured.

“Now you have us _and_ the law on your side.” Soyeon stated proudly.

“Thank you. Thank you, all of you.” Hongseok said, louder this time. “Thank you much for this.”

“You don’t have to thank us,” Yan An said as he put a hand on Hongseok’s shoulder. “We were happy to help our friend when he needed us.”

“Oh! Yan An, the envelope!” Changgu gasped. Yan An made a soft “Ah” sound before digging an envelope out of his bag. Hongseok gave him a confused look as the blond handed it to him. It had “for our brave Hongseok” written in Mandarin on the front. It wasn’t in Yan An’s handwriting.

“Yan An... what’s this?” He stared down at it in his hand.

“It’s from my parents.” He explained. “To congratulate you for winning the trial.”

“But... how did they know Wooyoung would be found guilty?”

“They just believed in you and your lawyer.” Yan An smiled. 

Hongseok felt the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks this time, and wiped them away before they had the chance.

“Thank you, to you and your parents.” He pulled Yan An into the hug. Taking that as their signal, everyone joined in.

“Guys, not all at once. I’ll start crying again!” Hongseok laughed as they all squeezed him into the center of the group hug.

“You haven’t even stopped crying since the decision was made, you nerd!” Soyeon cackled. Changgu shushed her with a chuckle.

“So? Are you going to open it?” Jinho asked as the others slowly released Hongseok from the hug.

“Oh, right.” Hongseok looked back down at the envelope in his hand. Hesitantly, he pulled open the flap. Inside was a card, it was simple but elegant, just as a card from Yan An’s parents would be. It was all in Mandarin, just like the writing on the outside. On the inside was a smaller red envelope and a hand written message.

“You’ve taken such good care of our precious son these past years. For that we are very grateful. This year has been so hard for you from what Yan An has told us. We know everything will work out for you, and that this year will end better than it started. There is no doubt that terrible man will pay for what he did. So, for you to be able to celebrate without worry or stress, take this. Spend it however you wish. And please know, you are welcome in our home any time. Though you aren’t from our bloodline, you are family here.”

Hongseok bit down onto his bottom lip to stop himself from getting even more emotional. Has he mentioned he really freaking loves Yan An’s parents? They’re absolute angels. He opened the smaller envelope and gasped.

“Yan An!? I can’t accept this!” He exclaimed. No one else caught a glimpse of the smaller envelope’s contents and looked between them in confusion.

“No, no. It’s fine. And you know they won’t take it back.” Yan An waved it off.

“But this is _₩1,000,000_!” Hongseok hissed under his breath.

“Holy shit.” Soyeon and Sanghyuk said in unison.

“That’s... that’s a lot.” Jinho mumbled.

“Hongseok, just take it.” Yan An insisted. “If they didn’t want you to have it, they wouldn’t have had me give it to you in the first place. And they’ll kill me if they find out you didn’t take it before the next time I go home.”

“But...” Hongseok glanced back and forth between the blond and the money.

“Just take it. It’s not like Yan An’s family isn’t well off enough to drop ₩1,000,000 on their favorite honorary son.” Changgu rolled his eyes.

“Dang, how rich _is_ your family to just give away ₩1,000,000 like it’s nothing?” Soyeon gaped.

“I mean, they run a huge franchise. It’d be ridiculous if they ran such a company and were still poor don’t you think?” Yan An scoffed. “Besides, that’s just lunch money for them.”

“Lun-lunch money!?” Jinho suddenly felt a strong internal pain just at the idea of spending that kind of money just on lunch.

“God, I gotta find me a company heir.” Soyeon muttered to herself. “Hey, you got any cute relatives? Gender and orientation doesn’t matter, just the size of their walle-hearts. Their hearts.”

“...no. They’re suddenly all taken.” Yan An quickly answered. Soyeon groaned at his obvious lie.

“What am I even going to do with this?” Hongseok sighed, distraught at the idea of even having ₩1,000,000 in his wallet all at one time.

“I don’t know, go buy yourself a fancy dinner. A new suit. Heck, you and Jinho go have a couple’s spa day. It’s your money now.” Yan An shrugged.

“Or treat you and Jinho out to a fancy dinner _and_ a spa day.” Changgu suggested.

“Or go buy things from those pretentiously expensive stores in the shopping district.” Soyeon giggled. “Wouldn’t it feel great to waltz in there knowing you could actually afford something?”

“Or just spend it all on yourself.” Sanghyuk cut in. “It’s yours after all, who says you have to share it?”

“But that’s part of the fun of having money, Sanghyuk.” Changgu chided. “It”s no fun if you can’t use it to make others happy.”

“So you say, the man currently with the lowest income in our household.” Yan An chuckled. Changgu shot him a glare. 

“It’s not my fault I had to take less hours this summer so I could take that summer course!” Changgu retorted with a pout. Everyone laughed at the exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I’m sorta meh towards it but I needed to tie up some loose ends in the plot.
> 
> Happy late holidays and new years! This fic is already almost a year old, can you believe it? Thank you to those who’ve kept up with this for so long.
> 
> Kudos and comments are all appreciated!
> 
> You can contact me on my [Tumblr](http://a-tt-acus.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/a_tt_acus).


	17. Stuffed Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s hard to hide a relationship when you get careless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:  
> -it’s an emotional roller coaster  
> -gets mildly explicit (scroll through if you wish to skip, there’s mushy stuff at the end of each steamy scene)  
> -small argument and then a bigger argument at the end  
> -still has happy ending!!!
> 
> Please enjoy!

“Hongseok... this is way too fancy.” Jinho said, lowering his menu to shoot an exasperated look at his boyfriend sitting across from him.

“I’m... sort of out of my element too.” He admitted, ruffling his short black hair as he looked over the options. The number of zeros in the price of each dish made him nervous. 

“I don’t even know what half the ingredients are!” Jinho whisper yelled, leaning forward slightly. Hongseok had eventually chosen to use the money Yan An’s parents had given him to treat himself and Jinho to a nice dinner, but the place they chose on a whim wasn’t necessarily beginner friendly. “I’ve already had to look up five things on my phone just for the first option alone...”

“We could... go somewhere else?” Hongseok offered, just as distressed as the elder.

“Now that we’re here I’d hate to just leave, though.” Jinho said, rubbing his face.

“If one of us slips away to use the bathroom, we could make it look like we didn’t just up and leave.” Hongseok suggested, an idea lighting up his face. “Then after maybe ten, fifteen minutes, the other could take a fake phone call and leave the restaurant. Another ten minutes pass and the one in the bathroom can stealthily make their way out of the restaurant too. It’s warm outside so we don’t have to worry about trying to leave coats behind or anything. That way it won’t seem as suspicious.”

Jinho didn’t have a better idea, so he quickly agreed to the plan.

“Meet at the car?” Hongseok said.

“Definitely. You should be the one to leave first so you can have the car running.” Jinho replied. They both nodded and began their plan. 

Jinho bee-lined towards the bathroom just before the waiter came back. He heard Hongseok apologize and say that his friend would be right back and that he’ll wait to order when he returns. The waiter doesn’t appear to suspect them. Once Jinho finds the bathroom and occupies the very last stall, he quietly chuckled to himself at how ridiculous this is. They haven’t done anything wrong, they just felt bad for coming in and not even ordering anything before they leave. They didn’t even order drinks yet.

It’s not illegal to leave if you have nothing to pay for, after all.

He shot Hongseok a text to let him know he arrived safely. 

 

From My Hongseok:  
I feel like we’re in some really badly written spy movie

From Jinho:  
We’ve already begun the plan, just go with it

From Jinho:  
Do you want me to call you in 5-10 minutes? 15 seems ridiculous

From My Hongseok:  
It kind of is, isn’t it?

From My Hongseok:  
5 is fine

 

Five minutes suddenly felt like a really long time. To pass the time he absentmindedly scrolled through Twitter. It had actually been a while since he’d checked any social media at all. It didn’t take him long to remember why he didn’t. It was always either word vomit from people he sort of knew or memes he didn’t understand. He closed the app almost as quickly as he’d opened it.

Seeing the sleeve of his suit reminded him that he had actually tried to look decent today. Maybe an honorary photo for the occasion wasn’t a bad idea, even if it was just in a fancy bathroom stall. He snapped a quick photo in the same pose and at the same angle as all the selfies he’s ever taken. It didn’t happen often enough for him to really try anything new.

Finding the right direction to face to get the best lighting ate up those five minutes much quicker than he’d expected. He dialed Hongseok as soon as he noticed.

“Ah, hello? This is Yang Hongseok speaking.” 

Jinho stifled his laughter at how professional Hongseok was trying to sound.

“This is Jo Jinho. You were expecting a call from me, correct?” He could still hear soft noises of dishes clinking and hushed conversations. Hongseok must still be at the table.

“You had said you had something urgent to tell me earlier? What was it?” 

Hongseok sounded so serious. 

“Yes. I’m going to need you to meet me at the car as we decided prior to this conversation.”

“I understand. I’ll be there as soon as I can-Excuse me sir, I’m so sorry to leave but an urgent matter just came up. Would you mind letting my friend know when he gets back? Oh, thank you.”

Jinho nodded his head, impressed by how natural this sounded coming from Hongseok. He was really good at this. Almost scary good.

“Smooth.”

“I’m glad you think that, sir.”

“Oof. Pulling out the sir, are we? Are you being formal with me? And here I thought we were on a first name basis.” Jinho teased.

“Please keep the jokes to a minimum until we discuss the issue you called me about.”

“Okay mister businessman.”

“Thank you, I’ll be there soon.”

“Have you ever considered acting? I think you’d be great at it.”

“Oh, shut up.” Hongseok’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “I’m out of the restaurant. You could probably leave in a little while. I’ll start up the car.”

“Nice. I’ll be out in a bit.” Jinho smiled.

“See you soon!” Hongseok said before hanging up.

“I didn’t get to say it back, what a jerk.” Jinho muttered to himself and exited the stall. Out of habit, he washed his hands before leaving the bathroom. He did everything in his power to stay inconspicuous as he slipped out of the restaurant. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice or care.

That didn’t negate the fact that he was absolutely embarrassed. He sprinted towards Hongseok’s car with red tinted cheeks. Hongseok was already cackling as Jinho threw open the door.

“Why did we even go through with that?” He laughed, wiping laughter tears from his eyes before returning his hands to the steering wheel.

“God, I wish I knew.” Jinho wheezed, climbing in and shutting the door behind him.

“Then what now?” Hongseok watched as Jinho clumsily buckled in, missing the buckle a solid three times because he was still laughing too hard.

“Well,” Jinho said, voice a bit breathy from the giggles fighting to bubble up his throat. “I don’t know about you, but I’m still hungry.”

“I feel like we should be eating somewhere nice with this money, but do you wanna just go get teokbokki from the street vendor we passed driving through the shopping district?” Hongseok suggested. His expression was filled with guilt for suggesting such a thing.

“That honestly sounds so good right now.” Jinho grinned. The taller nodded and pulled his car out of the parking spot with ease.

“Maybe a bottle of soju to split?” He added, checking both ways before pulling out of the lot. “But only one at the beginning of the meal and only if we split it because I’ll have to drive us home somehow.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll drink most of it for you.” Jinho replied with a wink when he caught Hongseok glancing his way. 

“Oh, my knight in shining armor!” Hongseok sarcastically swooned.

“But hey, this is kind of delayed. But...” Jinho paused his sudden confession, already feeling embarrassed.

“But...?” Hongseok drawled out. “You can’t just leave me hanging here.”

“Your serious acting back there was kinda hot.”

“O- _oh._ ” Hongseok took a deep breath. “I guess I got a little too into it.”

“No, no. It was... convincing.”

“What...” Hongseok forced his shoulders to relax as they sat at a red light. “...would you do if I talked like that more often?”

“I don’t know when you would use it, but I’d have to ask you to keep it to a minimum.” Jinho answered immediately.

“Was it that annoying?” Hongseok asked, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards.

“It wasn’t annoying.”

“Then why would I have to keep it to a minimum?”

“Because that’s not the Hongseok I know.” Jinho sputtered. Then, mumbling under his breath, “And because it gets me kinda hot and bothered and I don’t want to risk that in a public space.” 

By the smirk on Hongseok’s face, Jinho could guess he heard the mumble loud and clear. He quickly looked out the window to hide his growing blush.

“I guess I’ll have to test that out tonight, then.” 

“W-what!?”

____________

 

“Look at us.” Hongseok laughed. “Eating teokbokki when I could have treated both of us to a meal at a five star restaurant.”

“Who says this isn’t just as good?” Jinho shot back before stuffing another rice cake into his mouth, careful not to drip any of the sauce on his suit.

“We look like business men who just got off work.” Hongseok continued.

“Just two guys, eating teokbokki, taking it easy after work.” Jinho rolled his eyes and bumped Hongseok’s arm with his shoulder. Their table was really too small to be sitting next to each other, but that hadn’t stopped them.

“Sitting way too close together for it to be considered a casual dinner.” Hongseok pointed out. Jinho turned his head away, feeling his ears get hot. After quick glance around told him despite how close they were sitting, no one seemed to care. It was just them, a group of high school girls, another pair of businessmen, and a few older men talking loudly about some sports game on the tiny tv monitor hanging on the back of the food truck.

“You really sure this is okay over a world class meal?” Hongseok mumbled, poking around at the rice cakes in his bowl.

“Of course.” Jinho replied confidently. “It’s as good as first class if I get to eat it with you.”

The taller avoided Jinho’s gaze as his face heated up. His eyes went wide as he felt an arm wind around his sleeve and small fingers slide between his under the table.

“H-hey, people can see us..” Hongseok muttered, staring down at their intertwined fingers.

“Yeah? So?” Jinho took another bite with a smile. Hongseok gave his hand a squeeze. Jinho pulled their hands into his lap and took a gulp of soju. Hongseok couldn’t help but notice his cheeks flush a bit. He grinned wide and poked his toothpick into another rice cake. 

“Hey, open up.” Hongseok said softly. Jinho turned his head back with a confused look on his face. Holding a rice cake up to the older’s mouth, he repeated his demand. Without protest, Jinho ate it. A soft giggle bubbled out of the younger as Jinho avoided his gaze and mumbled something about “we ordered the same thing I don’t know why you’re feeding me yours”.

“I didn’t expect you to take it.” He admitted. That only made Jinho’s cheeks a darker shade of pink.

“W-what else was I supposed to do?!” Jinho sputtered. He pulled his hand away from Hongseok’s to use both to cover his reddening cheeks. “I didn’t want people to start staring...”

“Too much, then?” Hongseok pouted, cocking his head to the side.

“...no.” Jinho replied. “It just... caught me off guard is all.”

“Then consider yourself warned in advance.” Hongseok told him. “Now open up again, because your reaction was really cute.”

“I don’t wa-mph!” Jinho started, but was cut off by food being stuffed into his mouth. With a grumble, he begrudgingly chewed it and swallowed so he could finish what he had to say. “I don’t want to eat yours if we ordered the same thing.”

“Fine, then give me two of yours in exchange.”

“What? I’m not giving you my food. I’m a growing boy.”

“I’m sure you stopped growing years ago you liar. And you said you were going on a diet.”

“I can dream can’t I? And the diet was paused when you offered to buy me food. I’ll get back to it tomorrow.”

“You know I could care less about whether you actually lose weight or not, right?”

Jinho chewed on his tongue at Hongseok’s statement.

“I just want to be able to wear some of my old clothes.” He lied.

“And which ones are those? I’ve seen you wear everything in your closet.” Hongseok crossed his arms as he quickly found holes in Jinho’s reasoning.

“Because they’re in boxes.”

“Fine, then why not just come to the gym with me more often then? You could eat more that way but still lose fat.”

“I’m... not fit enough to go any more often than I already do.” Jinho mumbled. “I look like a dying hippopotamus on a treadmill.”

“When I started I could barely jog for more than a few minutes without wheezing.” Hongseok admitted. “You don’t have to _be_ fit to go to a gym. You go to a gym to _get_ fit.”

“And I feel like I jiggle when I work out...” Jinho continued in a lower tone.

“You know how muscular I am and I still feel that way when I exercise.” Hongseok said in an attempt to reassure him. “Just because I’m muscular doesn’t mean my body is rock hard all the time.”

“I just want to lose whatever fat I can faster without all the jiggling.”

Hongseok frowned.

“You’re a perfectly healthy weight for your size.” He told him, voice a little stern. “There’s no reason for you to have to lose weight or fat if it doesn’t affect your health.”

“Yeah but... I’m the only one who’s not skinny or all lean and muscular out of our friends.”

“So? I like that you’re not muscular.” Hongseok exhaled a deep sigh. “You’re better to hug, better to cuddle, and your cheeks are _way_ better to kiss.”

As if to prove his point, Hongseok leaned over and planted a quick peck on Jinho’s red cheek. Letting out a soft gasp, the smaller pushed him away.

“Too much.” He mumbled. Staring down at the table, he scooted his chair a bit further away from The other. Hongseok’s shoulders slumped as he watched Jinho continue to eat his meal in silence.

What was he supposed to do now? Apologize? Scoot back to him? Ignore the situation and just keep eating? If he apologized, what would he say? With a long sigh, Hongseok let his hand fall into his lap.

“I’m sorry.” He said to Jinho in a soft voice. “I wasn’t... thinking about being out in public.”

Jinho’s eyebrows knitted together as he popped another rice cake into his mouth.

“But I meant what I said.”

“How could you forget we’re out in public?” Jinho asked, voice low. “We’re outside, there’s high school girls giggling about some idol behind us, there’s a bunch of old men yelling at a tv... how could you not know?”

“I-I was more focused on trying to convince you that you didn’t need to diet because of how everyone else looks.” Hongseok stammered.

“That’s... not a very good excuse.” the brunet mumbled.

“I’m really sorry, Jinho.” Hongseok hated that he was already starting to sound desperate.

Jinho glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and kept eating. Frustrated, Hongseok ruffled his short black hair. Rather than saying something else and making the situation worse, he turned back to his food and finished his meal.

He didn’t say anything to the other as he paid for their food and threw away their empty paper bowls and glass bottle. Jinho had finished the soju by himself. He didn’t protest, he was the one with the keys anyway.

Hongseok returned to the table as Jinho was slinging his bag back over his shoulder. As he stood up from his chair, they both paused. Hesitantly, Hongseok broke the silence. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” 

The older chewed on his bottom lip, still not meeting Hongseok’s eyes.

“Or...” He continued. “Do you want to just walk around for a little while? It’s really nice out right now.”

“We can walk.” Jinho said quietly.

____________

 

Hongseok wasn’t lying when he said it was nice out. It was warm but not humid and there was a soft breeze that sent cool air brushing over Jinho’s cheeks and through his hair. His suit jacket flapped a bit from the wind from where it was slung over his arm as he held onto the strap of his bag with one hand. The gold and silver lights from the shop windows made his eyes shine as he stared at them. There was no way he could never afford a single thing behind the glass, but it was so dazzling it was hard not to look.

“Ah, sorry.” Hongseok hastily apologized as his hand bumped against Jinho’s. He drew his lips into a line and quickly looked away.

This was awkward. But Jinho didn’t know how to fix it.

So, unable to think of anything, they keep walking. Quiet and avoiding all contact. Jinho felt like he was back to square one. Back to whatever they were after the party before spring break. It didn’t settle well in the pit of his stomach.

This was supposed to be Hongseok’s time to celebrate after the favorable outcome of the trial. Yet here they were, giving each other the silent treatment like five year olds. 

Five year olds?

Jinho blinked at the window they were walking past and stopped. He heard Hongseok’s steps slow and saw him turn around out of the corner of his eye. Maybe he could fix things, while still acting like a child.

“Could we go in here?” Jinho quietly asked, pointing towards the shop as he struggled to look at Hongseok.

“A toy store?” Hongseok answered after a moment of pause. “...sure.”

He trailed after Jinho as the older wandered into the store. The bell above the door played a little melody Jinho knew from a song from his childhood. Everything inside the shop was bright and colorful. A little model train chugged past them overhead along a hanging track with little trees and animals along the edges. A little battery powered bird chirped from somewhere as Jinho looked around, trying to find the source. As they roamed the store, he felt Hongseok’s eyes on him every now and then.

“Can I help you two?” A store attendant chirped happily as she approached them with a friendly smile. Jinho turned away from the mountain of stuffHe caught the name “Miyeon” written on her name tag in a swirly font. “You look a bit overwhelmed.”

“A-ah, we’re just looking.” Hongseok spoke up. Jinho blinked back at him, a fat ram plush still squished between his hands.

“For a back to school gift?” Miyeon asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

“Back to school? Oh, no. No. We were just passing by and thought the store looked interesting.” Hongseok quickly explained, suddenly understanding what she was getting at.

“Well if you need any help, please let me know. There’s a section in the back that might cater to older kids.” 

Jinho blinked at her in disbelief.

“Older kids?”

“Yes, like model kits and game consoles.”

“Um, Jinho...” Hongseok started.

“I’m sorry, I get this a lot. An easy mistake. But I’m pretty sure I’m the oldest of the three of us Miss.” Jinho sighed, trying to stay polite.

“O-oh, I’m so sorry sir. I shouldn’t have just assumed-“ Miyeon stuttered, heat rising to her cheeks in utter embarrassment.

“No, no. Please, it’s okay.” Jinho said, already feeling guilty. “Like I said, I get it all the time. I know you weren’t trying to be rude.”

“My apologies.” She exclaimed, bowing and scrambling off around the corner.

“I... I think you broke that poor girl.”

“That wasn’t the intention...” Jinho admitted. “I was hoping I’d be seen as a twenty five year old man and not a child in a suit.”

“The suit isn’t nearly as convincing after you’ve been squishing that sheep in your hands for ten minutes.” Hongseok laughed.

“But you don’t understand! It’s stuffed with those little plastic beans that make it so satisfying to squish!” Jinho cried, holding it out towards him so he could experience the satisfying squish for himself. Hongseok just shook his head in amusement and gave Jinho a look he couldn’t quite decipher.

“..what?” Jinho hesitated.

“Are we okay?” Hongseok asked, a soft smile still pulling at the corners of his lips. Jinho smiled back and nodded.

“Yeah, we’re okay.”

 

 

 

“I have no idea where I’m gonna put this.” Jinho said as he looked down at the large rabbit plush in his arms. It wasn’t one of those giant ones that were as big as him, just larger than the average rabbit.

“We can’t take it back since the store is probably closed now.” Hongseok told him, hand in his, gently swinging their hands back and forth as they walked back to the car. He had Jinho’s bag slung over his shoulder so the older could carry his stuffed animal easier. He was still surprised Jinho had so quickly become enameled with the cute plush rabbit. The way his eyes had twinkled when he offered to buy it for him was still burned into Hongseok’s mind.

“Never!” Jinho gasped. “He’s part of the family now, I can’t just return him.” 

That made Hongseok laugh. He pursed his lips as he tried to remember how far his car still was. He vaguely remembered the carrot being close to a bank. The food truck they’d eaten at might still be out in front of it, but they always had weird hours, so he couldn’t rely on just that. A loud yawn from beside him caught his attention.

“You tired?” He asked Jinho, who was struggling to rub his eyes and still keep a firm grip around the rabbit.

“Mm. A little. Sorry if I fall asleep on the way back.”

“Are you coming over tonight?” Hongseok asked,

“If the offer still stands.” Jinho smiled. “I have a spare set of clothes in my bag.”

“Why’d you carry this around with you instead of just leaving it in the car? I’ve been wanting to ask.” Hongseok questioned as he lifted the bag up a bit by its strap.

“I... um. Didn’t want it to get stolen.” He answered. Hongseok raised an eyebrow but didn’t push the topic any further.

“Gosh, that’s a pretty hotel.” Hongseok wondered out loud, gazing up at the ornate exterior as they passed by. Jinho stopped and peered in through the window. Glittery chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling along with translucent fabric that was draped across the pillars in the lobby. It was ridiculously fancy. 

“What? Do you wanna get a room?” Jinho snorted when he was done looking, quickly noticing Hongseok was still mesmerized. The younger blinked down at him in surprise and then turned back to the building.

“We could see how much they charge for a one night stay.” He answered, completely serious.

“Really? I was just joking.” Jinho chuckled. 

“I’m not.” Hongseok replied. “Let’s go see.” He was alrea gently tugging Jinho towards the door.

“...can we get the car first so I can leave this rabbit in there? I don’t want them thinking I’m your little brother or something.”

“Yeah, we can get the car.” He laughed.

____________

 

“Do you mind if I ask how much a one room, one night stay would cost?” Hongseok sweetly asked the pretty attendant at the front desk. Her hair fluttered over her shoulder as she looked up from a pile of documents in front of her. Jinho wouldn’t say it in front of Hongseok, but she was pretty hot.

“Would that be for a room with two beds?” She responded, typing away at her computer to find the price. He looked down at her name tag, trying to memorize it so he could be polite when thanking her if everything goes well. He felt like he was staring way too intently at her in a place he shouldn’t be even if his intentions were good, so he quickly looked away.

“One bed. Queen if possible.” Jinho quickly answered. Hongseok shot him a proud, cheeky smile and turned back to the girl. She simply nodded and found what she was looking for in just a few clicks.

“Because it’s conference season, we have a discount on single room suites.” She explained. “So without factoring in any room service or special requests, it would be ₩600,000.”

“That’s... discounted...?” Jinho whispered to himself in shock.

“That sounds great. Do you take cash?” Hongseok seemed incredibly enthusiastic over the price. Jinho had to remind himself the taller was using his gift money and not his personal savings.

“Of course, cash is accepted.” 

 

“H-Hongseok... this room is so nice... there’s rooms... in the room...” Jinho breathed, wandering around their suite. Hongseok huffed out a laugh at the room number written on the access card. _417_. How fitting. “Look at this fucking bathtub!”

Hongseok’s lips curled up in a smile as his boyfriend yelled from the bathroom. Knowing he’d just keep yelling if he didn’t come look, he did as he was told. The older didn’t overreact. It looked like a bathtub you’d see on those pretentious home remodeling shows on tv. It had golden feet and could comfortably fit two people. There was even a clean, glass walled shower in the corner. The floor looked like tiny black granite hexagons all tiled in a perfect pattern across the floor. The mirror above the sink took up the entire upper half of the wall.

“Oh my god, there’s mood lighting.” Jinho snickered as he turned a knob on the wall, dimming the lights to just a warm orange glow. He froze when Hongseok turned around to face him.

“I-is something wrong?” The taller quickly asked, seeing Jinho’s shocked expression.

“N-no! Um. Nothings wrong.” He said as he awkwardly laughed it off. “You just looked really good when you turned around in this lighting.”

“Oh?” A smirk stretched across Hongseok’s face as he took three slow strides towards Jinho. The shorter man felt heat creep up his neck and a tiny flicker of excitement in his chest. “You think there’s mood lighting in the bedroom?” 

The sound of Hongseok’s low voice as he asked the question sent goosebumps across Jinho’s skin. As soon as they were close enough, his hands unconsciously slid up the front of Hongseok’s blazer. A finger hooked around the back of Jinho’s waistband and guided him out of the bathroom. Hongseok’s dark pupils slid side to side as he looked for a knob or a slider switch on the walls of the bedroom. A big grin appeared when he found it. He slid Jinho’s bag off his shoulder and let it hit the floor with a dull thud.

Jinho’s heart skipped when the backs of his thighs hit the bed, sending him falling into the plush comforter. His eyes followed Hongseok towards the switch and then his hand as it turned the little white dial on the wall. In the dim light, he walked back over to where Jinho was laying. His hands slid up towards Jinho’s head, over the silky comforter. The brunet inhaled a sharp breath when he took a short detour up his sides. 

“The lighting really did you in, huh?” Hongseok breathed against Jinho’s neck. He turned his head so he wouldn’t see the bright red burning across his cheeks. The action unintentionally left most of his neck exposed, leaving it wide open for Hongseok’s lips. As soon as he felt them brush across his skin, he slid his hands around Hongseok’s back.

“If you want me to stop, tell me.” Hongseok said before planting a slow, soft kiss against his jaw. 

“No...I don’t want you to stop.” Jinho murmured. He’d thought he’d have more control over the situation than this. This wasn’t part of his original plan. “If...”

“If?” Hongseok echoed between two more kisses, one pressed against the tender skin just in front of Jinho’s ear and the other just below.

“If you want to... we can try _it_.” The words didn’t come out quite right. Maybe he was mixing up the lines he’d mentally rehearsed from step six with step one.

“Try what?” Jinho felt Hongseok breathe in deeply against his neck. It made a dull heat coil in the pit of his stomach.

“This. But going all the way.” 

Hongseok pulled his head away from the older’s neck so he could stare down at him. It looked like he was searching Jinho’s face for any sliver of humor or uncertainty.

“All the way? Do you know... what that is?” He asked. Had anyone else asked it, it would have sounded harsh, but Jinho had never heard Hongseok’s voice so gentle.

“I asked Jaeyoon... for advice at the party.” He admitted in return. “And he promised to text me later to explain how... it all works.” A careful hand brushed away a stray lock of hair from his eyes. 

“Did he explain... everything?”

“There... were some things he couldn’t really explain just in words, so he suggested a couple, um, _videos_ that might help. He said it’s what he’d watched when he was trying to learn when he first dated a guy.” Jinho felt himself starting to stumble over his words. “So I know what happens, but I don’t know how to put any of that into action.”

“ _Videos_?” Hongseok blinked, a faint blush washing over his cheeks. Jinho squinted his eyes shut, scrunched his face up, and nodded. 

“It was kind of uncomfortable to watch, since I’m not really one for watching other people do... things.” Jinho mumbled. “But I didn’t want to mess up on the first try...”

“I’m... I’m kind of flattered you went so far as to ask for help.” Hongseok chuckled. Jinho blinked up at him in surprise. “You really thought hard about this, didn’t you?”

Jinho nodded again.

“If you’re one hundred percent sure you want to, I’ll guide you through it.”

“I’m sure.” Jinho replied, afraid if he said anymore, he’d stutter.

“But we don’t have any of the things we need... I wasn’t really expecting you to, well, be _ready to go_ tonight.” Hongseok sighed, nuzzling his face back into Jinho’s neck. “We can wait until a night when we’re more prepared.”

“I-I have them. In m-my bag.”

Hongseok snapped his head back up.

“Y-you do???” He gaped. Jinho nodded again, intently staring at the wall this time. He felt like he was going to combust his face felt so hot.

“You can.. check, if you want to.” 

 

“ _God._ ” Hongseok breathed in an airy laugh. “I can’t believe you came so prepared...” With a grunt he pushed himself back off the mattress to locate the bag. It was just a step or two away from the bed. Bending down, he unbuckled the flap and unzipped the biggest pocket. There was a spare change of clothes, his phone charger, pill case, wallet, and... _Ah_ , he wasn’t lying.

Jinho flinched when he saw Hongseok stand back up with the box of condoms and lube in either hand. What was he expecting? Hongseok to pull a rabbit out of his bag? Why was he surprised by the things _he_ brought?

“These aren’t my size, so I take it Yan An outing me as a bottom stuck, huh?” Hongseok laughed, staring down at the box as he turned around.

“Thank god, I was so worried urbandictionary lied to me and I had it all wrong.” Jinho groaned, covering his face with his arms in embarrassment right after.

“No, it didn’t lie.” Hongseok reassured as he tossed the items onto the bed beside him and leaned over the mattress again. “I like the receiving end.”

Jinho’s hand on his chest stopped him from going down any further. One blink. Two blinks.

“Jinho.”

“Hm?”

“Are you not actually ready to do this?”

“Pfff. What makes you think that?”

“Well, your nervous laughter isn’t helping your case. But your hand physically stopping me from getting any closer to you is awfully suspicious.”

“Oh, That?” Jinho smiled pitifully. “You see. I was just thinking how you don’t have a spare set of clothes.”

“What’s that have to do with anything?” Hongseok frowned, unhappy his question continued to be left unanswered.

“If we do this, with these suits on, won’t they smell sorta... funky afterwards?” Jinho pointed out.

“Then we can just take them off now-“ the taller began to suggest, before Jinho cut in.

“B-but I’m still way too nervous to be fully unclothed.” Jinho stated.

Hongseok sighed.

“Then what do you suggest we do? I’d rather not go pay for our stay in the morning at check out smelling like a hot and steamy night we had in a discounted luxury hotel room.”

“The robes. In the bathroom.” Jinho answered. “We can wear those.”

“That’s... true.”

Once again, Hongseok stood back up and left Jinho alone on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling as he tried to calm himself down a little. No amount of mental preparation could truly prepare him for this. 

“Wah!” Jinho exclaimed as something white and fuzzy attacked him. He bolted upright, staring down at the white robe laying on the floor in front of the bed.

“...did... did I scare you?” Hongseok asked, already halfway done with unbuttoning his dress shirt. His tie and blazer had already been set aside on the dresser and the other robe was slung over his arm.

“...I was thinking. About... things. Really intensely.” Jinho explained, still staring at the robe with his face burning in embarrassment.

“Well stop thinking so hard and take off your clothes.” Hongseok snickered. “This was your idea, remember?”

“Right...” Jinho slid off the mattress and picked the terry cloth robe off the floor.  
____________

 

“Sh-shit!” Jinho hissed. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes as his back arched off of the comforter. Long lashes brushed against his stomach before Hongseok lifted his head in concern.

“I’m sorry, I got a little carried away there.” He quickly apologized, placing a gentle kiss over a faint bite mark on Jinho’s skin. He ran his thumb over the skin just above his hip bone, where the mark had already started to bruise. It was a new addition to the growing collection trialing down from his left collar bone. 

“Do it again.” Jinho breathed, sounding needier than he intended to.

“Here?” Hongseok said as his breath warmed another spot of skin just on the inside of Jinho’s hip. Slowly, he traced the crest of the older’s hips with his fingers. An experimental lick made Jinho squirm. Then, he sucked and gently nipped the same spot. 

“Ah-!” Jinho whined, hiding his face in the sleeve of his robe. He’d already gotten the best blowjob of his life, but whatever Hongseok was doing was already getting him riled up again. Here he was worried he’d be too worn out to actually go all the way just a few seconds ago. Now his lower half was already saying otherwise.

“Are you sensitive down here?” Hongseok hummed before scraping his teeth against the opposite hip. 

“I-I don’t kno-Ah!” Jinho gasped when Hongseok pressed his thumb into one of the bruises and bit down on another. He was already half hard from that alone. A shaky and ragged exhale followed another bite.

“Hearing you make all that noise is making it hard for me, you know?” Hongseok teased. “How am I supposed to hold myself back when you’re like this?” Jinho shivered as he felt a pair of fingers trail down to his inner thigh. 

“Hh!” The sensation of warm wet lips against the flesh of his thigh took him by surprise. He twisted his hand into the terry cloth across his chest. After leaving two fresh marks, Hongseok pulled away, leaving Jinho panting.

“You still sure you want to do this?” Hongseok asked. It had been asked so many times since they put on the robes that Jinho had lost count.

Without missing a beat, he nodded.

The bed shifted as Hongseok lifted himself up and crawled forwards to hover above Jinho. The smaller pulled his sleeve away just a little so he could peek up at him with one eye. His cheeks permanently burned like the hottest flame he could imagine. The way Hongseok stared down at him warmed every cell in his body. 

He’d known what lust looked like for a long time, having nailed the outward expression of it early on in high school. That one was easy. Love? That was a bit more complicated, but he was able to recognize the ways his parents had expressed it for each other. He’d seen it in Changgu and Yan An’s relationship too. But the way Hongseok looked at him was different. It wasn’t just one or the other. It wasn’t even just those two things. Hongseok’s eyes reflected everything Jinho felt for him. There was both love and lust, but there was admiration, trust, and something else there too. Jinho wanted to swim in it. He wouldn’t even fight it if he somehow managed to drown.

His hands rose to meet Hongseok’s cheeks. Brushing his thumbs over the slight protrusion of bone came as instinct. He let his eyes flutter closed as the other leaned down to place a long, sweet kiss on his cheek. With a slight turn of his head, he met Hongseok’s lips just before he could leave another on the opposite cheek. Tasting himself in someone else’s mouth wasn’t ideal, but Hongseok was worth it. Hands brushed up his sides beneath the robe. A quick glance downwards told Jinho that Hongseok was _very_ turned on from everything they’ve done so far. A sudden, tiny prickle of fear crawled up the back of his neck. Choosing to ignore it, he forced it back down and chose to kiss Hongseok even harder.

“Fuck.” Hongseok seethed, pulling away first. “This is killing me.” He sat up, just barely straddling Jinho’s waist. Clumsily, he grabbed the bottle of lube and fumbled to open it.

That fear forced its way back in. Before he could register what he was doing, his hand was around Hongseok’s wrist just when the bottle finally popped open. He was met with a confused stare. His eyes darted between Hongseok’s face and where his hand was wrapped around his wrist with an iron grip he couldn’t seem to release.

“I-I can’t.” 

The words left his mouth without warning.

“I’m so sorry, Hongseok.” He breathed. “I still d-don’t think I’m ready.”

Hongseok’s eyebrows knitted and his eyes flitted around the room in exasperation. 

“It’s-it’s okay, but _shit_ I’m so hard it fucking _hurts_.” He winced, clearly flustered and struggling to fight whatever urge he had.

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m sorry.” Jinho stammered. Panicked, he did his best to think of a solution, a compromise. “Wh-what can I do instead?”

“First, please let go of my hand.” Hongseok panted. Jinho followed his command. “Second, what part is it you can’t do bec- _fuck_! Because I was really expecting something up my ass.”

“Th-that.” 

“Then just-just...” Hongseok looked around, struggling to figure out what to do. “Either kiss me as hard as you can while I do it myself, or suggest a better idea.”

“D-do it yourself?” Jinho’s face burned.

“Please, just... back up onto the pillows.” Hongseok said with a gentle shove as he crawled off of him. Jinho pulled himself further up the bed and sat up, back pressed against the down pillows piled against the headboard. Hongseok followed him and initiated a kiss that was rougher than usual. It wasn’t entirely unwelcome in Jinho’s opinion. The taller was practically in Jinho’s lap, hips hovering just above his thighs.

Hoping to help, Jinho trailed a hand down the taller’s exposed chest, stopping just above his groin. He felt him shiver beneath his finger tips. Hongseok groaned into his mouth as he stroked him.

The sound of something slick made him flinch. Suddenly he understood what Hongseok meant when he said he’d do it himself. Hearing all the noises he made as he worked his fingers in and out of himself only made Jinho want to do something more. Thinking fast, he guided Hongseok’s chin over so he could suck at his neck. The satisfied hum that rumbled deep in his throat proved that Jinho made the right decision. He nibbled and kissed a path down towards his collarbones, making note of how Hongseok’s groans got a little louder.

The bed creaked as Hongseok moved to rest his elbow on the wall beside Jinho’s head, allowing Jinho to reach a wider expanse of exposed skin. His robe barely hung from his shoulders. Just as Jinho left his first mark underneath his right collarbone, Hongseok’s breathing hitched. Some sort of high pitched noise escaped his lips. When Jinho sucked on the same spot, he was rewarded with a long low moan.

“My hips and your collarbones?” Jinho hummed in amusement. 

“You might be on to something.” Hongseok grunted.

With a smile, Jinho bit down, giving Hongseok exactly what he wanted.

____________

 

“Sorry I chickened out.” Jinho quietly said, running his fingers through Hongseok’s hair. The taller man was laying face down, partially on top of him with his face buried in the crook of Jinho’s neck. Their legs were tangled and Jinho could feel the dried sweat on their skin sticking together whenever they touched.

“Don’t apologize.” Hongseok sighed as he played with the belt of Jinho’s robe. It was far too long even after it was tied, just perfect for Hongseok to comfortably reach and idly fiddle with. “I’m not going to force you if you’re not ready. But I feel like I sort of forced myself on you anyway... maybe I should apologize.”

Hongseok’s words were warm against his skin. Thinking it over, he frowned. Jinho hadn’t felt uncomfortable with what they did while they were doing it, nor did he feel uncomfortable about it now. Truth be told, he was still a little dazed.

“If I shouldn’t apologize, then neither should you.” He decided. “I enjoyed it. It was sorta awkward since I got too nervous right in the middle, but it wasn’t bad.”

Jinho pressed his cheek against Hongseok’s forehead. He felt the younger’s lips stretch into a smile against his neck.

“I’m glad you didn’t hate it then.” He mumbled, wrapping an arm around Jinho’s waist. 

“And...” Jinho continued. “I think it gave me more confidence for next time.”

“To go all the way like you wanted to?” 

“Mm. I really did want to try. Just let my nerves get the best of me.”

“I understand.” Hongseok pressed his lips against Jinho’s neck for a soft kiss. “But don’t be nervous. You’re not going to hurt me if that’s what you think. And I won’t let you go into it blind, I’ll help you through it.”

“I know. Thanks for being so patient.” He replied, giving Hongseok’s forehead a peck in return.

“Hey...” Hongseok said. His voice came out airy and content.

“Hm?”

“Would you still be up to trying something new?”

“I don’t think either of us have enough energy left for another round tonight.” Jinho chuckled. Hongseok raised himself up onto one elbow, a subtle smile stretched across his lips.

“I didn’t mean another round. Just something we haven’t done before.”

“Mmmm. Maybe. Depends on what you have in mind.” Jinho hummed. He couldn’t help but crane his neck to give Hongseok a quick kiss. 

“Would you be opposed to taking a bath together? The bathtub here is big enough for us both to fit.” 

“A bath?” Jinho blinked up at him. The sweet smile on Hongseok’s face was nothing but innocent.

“Just a bath. No funny business.” Hongseok clarified. “Unless you want to see if the shower gel can be used to make a bubble bath.”

“So are you saying you want to take a bubble bath with me?” Jinho laughed.

“Would you want to?” Hongseok asked.

“I guess we can. It’s just embarrassing.”

“Why’s it embarrassing?”

“I mean... I’ll be completely naked...”

“Jinho. We literally just had sex.” Hongseok scoffed. “I’ve seen you naked before.”

“Yeah but! Not often? Or completely. Usually it’s just partially!” Jinho stammered.

“But I’ve still seen you, you dork.” Hongseok snickered, pinching his cheek.

“Wah, stop that!” Jinho whined as he batted his hand away. “I’m still embarrassed about it anyway.”

“But you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.”

 

 

“This is so nice I think I’m gonna fall asleep.” Jinho yawned as he rested his back against Hongseok’s chest just like he did when they watched movies together in bed. A soothing piano ballad played from Hongseok’s phone on the counter and the lights were just high enough to see to move around without bumping into anything. Everything about this moment made Jinho warm and fuzzy.

“Don’t do that, it’s dangerous to fall asleep in the bathtub.” Hongseok warned, bringing his arms around Jinho’s middle to hold him close. The bubbles jiggled from the movement and sent a few floating through the air. They resembled tiny floating marbles of amber under the low warm light. Jinho smiled as one popped in front of his nose.

“But you wouldn’t let me drown, so I don’t have to worry too much.” Jinho countered. 

“Yeah, but what if I fall asleep too?”

“Then we’re dead, I guess.” Jinho shrugged. “At least we’d die warm and happy.”

“Mmm... I’d rather die after I graduate. I want the satisfaction of a diploma too.”

“That’s fair.”

Hongseok hummed happily as he craned his neck to rest his chin on top of Jinho’s head.

“Your hair is getting pretty long.” He pointed out, burying his face in the brown locks.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll let it get much longer though. I won’t be able to see.” Jinho replied. He slowly swirled his fingers through the bubbles, relishing the quiet popping and fizzing noises they made as he did so.

“And I’d hate it if I couldn’t see your eyes crinkle up when you smile.” Hongseok told him with his voice muffled in the shorter’s hair. The corners of Jinho’s lips twitched up at the words. The three words he’d gotten so used to saying bubbled up in his chest again.

“Then I guess I really can’t let it grow any more, huh?” He said with a grin.

“Nope. Letting your hair get any longer is forbidden. Prohibited. Illegal.” Hongseok joked, giving his waist a squeeze. That pushed a giggle out of Jinho. “God, I love your laugh.”

“What else do you love about me?” Jinho ventured to ask, genuinely curious.

“Uuuuugh. I don’t know, there’s so much.” Hongseok groaned. 

“Then just your favorites.” Jinho suggested. He could feel Hongseok hum in thought.

“Your laugh is one of my favorites. It’s so bright and honest. I love how cute you are when you pout. And the way your lips sort of stick out when you talk. I love that you tell me when something makes you happy or upset. You don’t lie all the time just to make me happy.” Hongseok explained.

Jinho felt the blush blooming on his cheeks getting darker with each example.

“I love your voice when you’re singing along to something unconsciously. It’s so soft and tender and genuine. I don’t think you even know you’re doing it half the time and I think that’s why I love it so much. I love how you’re the perfect size for me to rest my chin on your head like this. You’re the perfect size for me to curl up next to in bed. I love when we’re both cooking a meal together in comfortable silence. I love the faces you make when you eat something tasty and the little satisfied noises you make when it’s a dish you cooked.”

“I wasn’t expecting that many...” Jinho mumbled, feeling both flattered and guilty.

“That’s not all of my favorites.” Hongseok smiled against the crown of Jinho’s head. “I love how soft your cheeks are... and the rest of you too. Like a big teddy bear. I love how determined you are to make music production your career. You know it can’t happen over night and you just work even harder to make up for it. You treat everyone with so much respect. You don’t judge anyone for how they look or who they love, unless they’re assholes and then they kinda deserve to be judged for their terrible attitude. I’m so thankful you accepted me and my friends knowing we weren’t straight before you found out you weren’t either. I love you for that.”

“Hongseok...”

“But you know what I love the most?”

“What’s that?”

“How brave you are.”

“But I’m not brave...” Jinho murmured, staring down at the bubbles.

“Then how did you confess to me? How did you make the first move every time in a type of relationship you’ve never been in before if you weren’t brave?” Hongseok breathed. He pulled him even closer, so close Jinho could feel his muscles pressing into the soft parts of his back.

“Then I’m only brave because I’m in love.” Jinho stated. That seemed like the only reason he could do what he did.

“And I’m so, so glad you are.”

“I love you.” Jinho said in response, unable to say anything else for fear of getting choked up.

“And you know, without a doubt, I love you back.” Hongseok hummed.

____________

 

Jinho woke to the sliver of sun peeking through the thick curtains warming his cheeks and a gentle hand tracing circles on his thigh. Hot breath against his ear and neck made it obvious that Hongseok was curled around him. He was the big spoon. Jinho was the little spoon. It was so warm, sharing body heat beneath the soft silky hotel sheets. He took in a deep breath as he thought about how well he fit against him. Perfectly. Just like Hongseok had told him last night. Just like two puzzle pieces, or nesting dolls, or measuring cups that fit together in a seamless stack.

“Good morning.” Hongseok said no louder than a whisper. His voice was still rough from sleep as he spoke. He nuzzled closer, his nose brushing against the back of Jinho’s left ear. The flutter of eyelashes tickling against his skin made a sleepy giggle threaten to escape. Hongseok placed a kiss just behind his earlobe and stretched out his right arm that the older had used as a pillow. Jinho felt the muscles stretch under his head and ripple against his other ear. 

“Your hands are warm.” Jinho hummed, reaching out his left hand to lock his fingers together with Hongseok’s. A sigh escaped him as he felt the warm hand on his thigh slide up over his boxer brief clad hips and beneath his undershirt, stopping to curl around his waist. That gentle touch warmed him to his core. The heat radiating through Hongseok’s arm seeped into Jinho’s skin and melted him down to the bone. He could imagine himself as a puddle of flesh on the bed.

“Did you sleep well?” Hongseok asked, eyes closed as drowsiness tempted him back to sleep.

“After sex and a warm bubble bath? How could I not?” He chuckled after a long yawn. “And you kept me nice and cozy all night.”

“Hm, I wanna do that for a little longer.” Hongseok yawned back.

“When do we have to check out?”

“Before noon I think.” 

Jinho peered over at the alarm clock on the night stand. Just barely ten in the morning. They could sleep another hour.

“Is your phone close? I think mine is still in my bag.” Jinho asked him.

“Mm yeah. It’s on the night stand.” He mumbled back.

“Hang on, I’ll set the alarm.” He grunted, reaching for the device. He just barely slid it off onto the bed, almost losing it to the floor instead. By now his boyfriend’s passcode was as easy to remember as his own. Ignoring the text notifications and missed calls from Changgu and Yan An, he set an alarm for eleven and let it drop back down onto the bed.

“Do you want to move your arm before we go back to sleep so it doesn’t go numb?” Jinho asked, noticing how Hongseok’s fingers didn’t quite grip his hand back. He waited for an answer, but the taller had already fallen asleep again. Jinho just smiled when he felt his even breaths against his neck. 

Sleep swallowed him quickly, so fast that he blinked his eyes and the alarm was already ringing. He groaned and turned it off. Anything to stop the sound blaring from the phone.

“‘Seok... ‘Seok we gotta get up.” He grumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

Hongseok groaned into the thick hair at the back of Jinho’s head. Reluctantly, he rolled over, freeing Jinho from his hold. He took that freedom as his chance to sit up and stretch.

“Did you tell Changgu and Yan An where we were?” Jinho scrunched up his face at how weird his voice sounded when he asked.

“Ugh, no. I forgot.” Hongseok grumbled, hands covering his face in frustration. “They’re gonna kill me.”

“Maybe you should just reply to their texts for now.” Jinho suggested, seeing Changgu’s name and a new message light up on the phone screen.

“Can you hand me my phone?” Hongseok asked, lazily draping an arm over Jinho’s lap, palm up waiting for the device.

“Here you go you lazy bum.” Jinho yawned, plopping the phone into his hand.

“Oof. Too bright.” He mumbled as he unlocked it. Jinho saw the light from the screen on Hongseok’s face dim as he adjusted the brightness. He squinted at the screen as he replied to his concerned roommates. Jinho thought was funny how tired and grumpy he looked, typing away with his lower lip jutting out. 

“Did you tell Hyunggu you were staying out tonight?” Hongseok absentmindedly asked as he continued to type. Jinho looked down at the sheets in shame. Hongseok rolled his head to look in his direction after a few moments passed. “I’m guessing that’s a no?”

“I meant to do it when we got to your place... but since we didn’t do that I completely forgot.” He admitted.

“How dare we be so spontaneous.” Hongseok chuckled, finishing up his texts. With a grunt, he rolled out of bed. Jinho’s eyes lingered on the dark bruises scattered across his collarbones before he turned and stretched as he made his way toward the bathroom. He was thankful Hongseok had at least put his boxers and the tank top he’d worn under his dress shirt back on. They might not make the noon checkout otherwise.

Before he forgot, he crawled out of bed to dig his phone out of his bag. One new message.

“Only one?” Jinho wondered aloud. Curious, he opened it.

 

From Spoiled Brat:  
Hey, just wanted to let you know the dance team meeting went longer than expected so I’m just going to stay at Yuto’s since the studio is closer to his place than our apartment. I’m gonna stay over there for most of tomorrow too. Yuto’s baseball season starts soon and now that he’s working at that clothing store and his family’s restaurant we won’t get to see each other as often :( so I wanna spend some time with him before we get too busy. I’ll stay safe, promise! Love ya!

 

“Oh.” He breathed, happily surprised. An idea popped into his head at the thought of an empty apartment.

“Get a dozen worried texts from Hyunggu?” Hongseok asked as he re-emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed. Jinho stared at his phone a few seconds longer before turning to his boyfriend.

“Do you wanna comeback to my apartment?”

“I-what?” Hongseok did a double take, stopping in his tracks on his way towards Jinho.

“Hyunggu’s at Yuto’s and will be for most of the day.” 

“...so... you’re asking me to come home with you to your empty apartment?” Hongseok said slowly, having an idea of what Jinho was getting at.

“I want a second chance.” Jinho breathed. “I won’t chicken out this time.”

____________

 

“Hey, you’re still breathing really hard, you okay?” Jinho asked, voice filled with concern even as the corners of his vision were still fuzzy. Hongseok was panting beneath him, his chest rising and falling in an uneven pattern. Scrunching his eyes up, Hongseok nodded in reply.

“I’m okay.” He reassured him. Jinho knitted his brows together. “Not an asthma attack. Just... out of breath.”

“You sure? We both finished a while ago now. You shouldn’t still be breathing this hard. I’ll go find your inhaler-“

Hongseok grabbed Jinho’s wrist before he could crawl off the bed.

“I’m sure.” He firmly said between breaths. “Stay... That just... took a lot out of me... just stay here a sec... I’ll be fine in a moment.”

Jinho frowned as he watched Hongseok’s eyebrows furrow just before a ragged breath. Reluctantly, he moved back to where he was, resting on his elbows over Hongseok. Jinho swore he could feel Hongseok’s heartbeat in his thighs that were still pressed tight around his waist.

“You... were great, by the way.” The taller huffed, surprising Jinho. He cracked open one eye to look up at Jinho with a thin smile on his parted lips.

“...really?” He raised an eyebrow, unsure how that ridiculously clumsy first attempt had been great. Hongseok nodded and turned to face the wall as he ran a hand over his neck. His fingers traveled over still blooming bruises Jinho had left behind, gently pressing a few to see if they were tender. 

“You didn’t... hold back did you?” Hongseok asked after a noticeable wince. “But yeah, really.”

“Sorry about that...” Jinho mumbled.

“It felt great while you were... doing it. Don’t apologize.” He told him as he ran a hand through his hair. “It just... left me a little dizzy.”

“I’m getting your inhaler, is it in your bag?”

“Maybe you should, I’m... really light headed all of a sudden...” Hongseok mumbled behind his hands. “It’s in the side pocket.”

“I’ll be right back.” He exhaled, pushing himself off of Hongseok and out of bed. His thigh’s stung from the new movement. It was painfully clear he was out of practice. He pulled his boxers back on and wondered back out into the living room where they’d abandoned half their clothes and the bag Hongseok had hurriedly packed after changing out of his suit during the quick pit stop at his apartment. Jinho rubbed at his arms, self aware of how cold the apartment was as he looked around. He found Hongseok’s camouflage sweatshirt in the hall and tugged it on over his head as he searched. 

He found the bag close to the couch and quickly dug through the smaller pocket on the side. Once he felt the familiar object in his palm, he pulled it out with a satisfied grunt and returned to his room. Hongseok had both of his hands resting on his forehead when Jinho got back, his face had a faint pink color to it.

“Here.” Jinho said as he pulled one of Hongseok’s hands away from his face and placed the inhaler in his hand. He fumbled for a second before bringing it to his mouth. One long sharp inhale and he let it fall back onto the bed.

“This... isn’t even an attack... I just can’t catch my breath for some reason..” Hongseok mumbled, his face twisted in confusion and frustration. “I don’t want to do this every time... we do _this_.” He vaguely gestured between them with his hands before throwing an arm over his eyes.

“This is just embarrassing.” Hongseok sighed.

“Hey, Hey. Don’t worry about that.” Jinho said. “It’s not like you can help it.”

“God, that just... that felt great. I just wanted to enjoy the damn afterglow, not do this.” He complained. “I got too worked up before at the hotel, maybe it carried over today...?”

“Does it work like that?” Jinho asked as he looked around the room.

“I don’t know... heavy breathing, physical exertion... stress and over excitement are supposed to all be contri...contributing factors. I don’t know if it can be a delayed reaction or not though.” He turned his head to stare at Jinho. 

“Still, you can’t help it.” At that, Hongseok frowned.

“Can you hand me my sweatpants since you stole my shirt?” Hongseok paused and the corners of his lips twitched upwards. “Again.”

“O-oh Yeah. Hang on.” He stammered, searching the floor for a pair of gray sweatpants he definitely remembered forcefully pushing Hongseok onto the bed just to take off. Fortunately, they weren’t far from where they’d been removed. Jinho stood back up to see Hongseok resting on his elbows before pushing himself up into a sitting position.

“Ah!” He gasped, lurching forward after he sat up. His teeth clenched on instinct as the sharp pain in his abdomen slowly faded.

“Are you okay? What just happened?” Jinho asked, rushing to the side of the bed. Hongseok shook his head and waved it off.

“It just... happens sometimes. After sex. I just... haven’t done it in a while.” Hongseok explained in clipped sentences.

“Okay..” Jinho murmured and handed him the pants. Hongseok’s eyes fell on the pile of tissues and the discarded condoms on the bed.

“Did we really only do it once?” He asked, sort of breathless. Jinho followed where his eyes were staring and felt his face heat up.

“We got off a couple times, but we only did the real deal once.” He explained, remembering exactly what they did. His cheeks flushed at how vivid the memory of grinding on each other still was, even though it was only maybe an hour ago. He forced himself not to think about it too hard.

Nodding, Hongseok slowly pulled the sweatpants on one leg at a time. He took a deep breath before lowering himself back onto the bed to pull the waistband over his hips. Just that small amount of movement left him exhausted. 

“I feel like an old man.” Hongseok grumbled, frowning up at the ceiling. “I’m absolutely worn out.”

“Then do you wanna just... go to bed?” Jinho suggested, kneading his thighs that were starting to ache from standing so long. The younger nodded, but pushed himself back up.

“I... gotta run to the bathroom first.” He said as he slowly slid off the bed. His legs looked a little wobbly at first, so Jinho’s arms were already in position to catch him if he fell.

“Can you make it there okay?” He worriedly asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just give me a moment.” 

Jinho watched as Hongseok got his bearings and sluggishly made his way out of the room. Turning back to the bed, the brunette sighed and did his best to clean up. He tossed the pile of tissues into the trash bin by his desk, careful to throw the condoms in first so they weren’t easy to see. 

Now that his worrying was starting to fade, that warm buzzing feeling was starting to come back. He’d managed not to chicken out this time. Finally, he can say he’d properly slept with Hongseok. Having the younger guide him through it between gasps and moans was... actually kind of hot. He didn’t skimp out on telling Jinho if he did something right. In fact, now that he thought about it, the amount of times he remembered getting praised is probably why Hongseok had said it felt great. 

A weight on his back and strong arms that wrapped around his neck signaled Hongseok’s return. Jinho smiled and waddled over to the bed, his boyfriend in tow. He helped the taller into the bed and climbed in after him. Jinho was pulled close to Hongseok’s chest as he tugged the blankets over them both. Hongseok’s breathing was still a bit heavy, but it had leveled out a lot in comparison to earlier.

Jinho didn’t mind how his arms stuck to Hongseok’s sides or how his cheek stuck to his chest from the sweat dried onto their skin. It was warm and everything felt fuzzy. It didn’t take long for the rise and fall of the chest he rested his head on to start to become shallow from sleep. Jinho smiled and let his eyes fall closed. 

 

 

Sleep didn’t last long as Jinho’s bladder screamed at him to wake up. He pried Hongseok’s arms off of himself and rolled out of bed, quietly muttering to himself about how he should have gone to the bathroom before they went to bed. After dragging himself out into the hall, he stretched his hands up in the air and silently groaned as his back popped in three places. He had to squint as he took the four steps to the bathroom across the hall since the sun was still shining brightly through the windows. Jinho shut the door behind him and flicked on the little plastic lamp they kept in there to use at night so they wouldn’t blind themselves with the brighter lights around the mirror. 

He didn’t hear the front door being unlocked and pushed open.

“-maybe we can all go out for a movie before everything gets too crazy.” Yuto suggested as they walked through the door behind Hyunggu. He stopped when the smaller man held up a hand and gave him a serious look. “What... what’s going on?” He asked quietly, letting his eyes wander around the entryway. His eyes landed on a jacket on the floor in front of them.

“I think Jinho’s home... But... I don’t think he’s alone...” Hyunggu quietly explained, slipping off his shoes and padding into the living room in his socks. There was a bag at the end of the couch and a giant stuffed rabbit staring at them when they walked in.

“What... the hell?” Yuto mumbled, looking around. He stepped closer to the bag, eyes falling on a cheesy novelty T-shirt he was sure he had seen before somewhere but couldn’t quite place it. Hyunggu nudged a pair of pants with his toe with a thoughtful frown.

“I don’t get it...” He sighed. Yuto looked up at him and cocked his head, confused. Hyunggu shook his head. “None of these clothes look like they belong to a girl.”

Yuto felt his body go rigid. Suddenly the t-shirt came back to him, it’s owner’s face clear in his mind. Jinho will hadn’t told him. Shaken, he took a step back, accidentally knocking the tv remote off the arm of the couch. It hit the ground with a loud crack and the little back piece that held in the batteries went flying across the floor. 

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTM- Hyunggu!?” Jinho yelled as he spun out of the bathroom, a hair dryer in his hands pointing at the two like a gun and his hair sticking up in every direction. He blinked in confusion between the two shocked faces he definitely recognized. “Y-Yuto?” 

“Jinho?” Hyunggu replied, looking a little stunned. “Why are you pointing a hair dryer at us?”

Embarrassed, Jinho lowered it. He quickly realized he wasn’t wearing pants and tugged at the hem of the sweatshirt down over his boxers. Hyunggu’s eyes followed the movement and his eyebrows furrowed, then it looked like something clicked. They flicked to the sweatshirt and back up to the older’s face.

“Jinho...” He started. Jinho dreaded what his next words were going to be as he caught him staring at the bruises on his inner thigh. Yuto was looking anywhere but at Jinho, in fact, the boy looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown. “Who else is here?”

Jinho whipped his head around in horror as his bedroom door squeaked open. 

“Is everything oka- _Oh._ ” came Hongseok’s groggy voice, until he noticed the two standing at the end of the hallway. “Oh my god.”

“Ho-Hongseok?” Hyunggu stuttered. His eyes grazed over the marks across his neck and chest before dragging themselves back to Jinho’s face. “Jinho, what’s going on?”

“I-I...” He gaped. Words failed to form in his brain.

“They’re dating!” Yuto sputtered behind them, quickly covering his mouth as soon as the words left his lips. Hyunggu stared between the two. 

“You’re... dating a guy? You’re dating Hongseok?” Hyunggu breathed before turning to Yuto with a hurt expression. “And you knew?”

“Hyunggu, I’m sorry but it wasn’t really my place to tell you...” Yuto stumbled over his words as he tried to explain.

“And you...” Hyunggu pointed at Jinho. “We tell each other everything, why didn’t you tell me? I thought you were acting strange. I figured you were dating by how often you were out of the house, but I just thought you were using hanging out with Hongseok as a convenient lie. You don’t have to tell me all about your relationships but... this? Since when was this a thing!? Since when did you like guys? How long have you two been hiding this from me?”

Jinho looked away. Guilt crawled up his spine and rested heavy on his shoulders.

“And Hongseok, you’re no better. You just played along with this game, huh? You’re half of this relationship , you could have told me. Yet you didn’t. Why didn’t you?” Hyunggu’s tone started to fade from frustrated to sad.

“I thought you trusted me.” He said, facing Jinho again. “I’ve always told you everything. We don’t have secrets. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because when I should have told you I still didn’t even know what to tell myself!” Jinho exclaimed, making Hyunggu flinch. 

“Jinho-“ Hongseok rested a hand on the eldest’s back, hoping he won’t completely break.

“What the hell am I supposed to say when I didn’t even know what this was? What was I supposed to tell you when everything came crashing down and I realized that all my life I’ve just been dating girls because that’s what I was expected to do? That I didn’t even like them? And that I was attracted to guys this whole time but just lied to myself that I wasn’t because that’s not what I was supposed to feel? What am I supposed to say when I suddenly got jealous when my best friend was dating a guy? What am I supposed to say when I kissed him back when we were drunk when I didn’t even know why?” Jinho shook his head furiously, trying to shake off the frustrated tears burning behind his eyes, trying to force their way out. 

Hyunggu stood there stunned at the outburst, a frightened Yuto standing behind him. Hongseok gave his shoulder a squeeze and stared at the floor. His heart screamed that he should pull him into his arms and try to calm him down, but all of this was long overdue. It was probably best for Jinho to let it all out.

“I didn’t grow up like you, Hyunggu. My parents didn’t let me have as much freedom as yours did for you. I always had to be interested in guy things and do things for guys and just... be the standard... guy. I played with trucks, wore colors that are stereotypical colors for boys, I didn’t take part in clubs or sports that aren’t for guys. My parents barely let my interest in music slide. I did everything they told me to, wore what they told me to, liked what they told me to, and thought how they told me to.” 

A flash of guilt swept over Hyunggu’s face. 

“I wanted to tell you everything but I didn’t know how to. By the time I could form anything coherent enough to say in my head I felt like it was already too late to tell you and I got scared.” Jinho mumbled. “I felt like I was the one who should be giving advice, not the other way around. By the time I could really tell you, I was worried you’d think I hid it from you. Putting it off like this only made it so that I really did hide it. I didn’t want you to be upset when you found out. I knew you’d be hurt because I didn’t tell you about any of this sooner. I’m an idiot for putting it off, but I just didn’t know what to say. I still... don’t know what to say...”

The stream of tears that started flowing down Jinho’s face was the last straw for Hongseok. He pulled him into his arms and let him bury his face into his chest. The hair dryer hit the ground with a clunk, just barely missing their feet.

“I’m sorry.” He whimpered. “I shouldn’t be crying. I should have told you sooner.”

“Shh. Calm down, you can talk more later.” Hongseok whispered, petting his hair in a soothing manner. He turned his head to Hyunggu. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. I didn’t feel like I should say anything until Jinho was comfortable with all of this. Then, like he said, it got to a point where it felt like it was too late to say anything. We talked about telling you a few times, but the timing never seemed right.

“I found out a few weeks ago by accident...” Yuto admitted. “I told him to tell you, but when he explained, I agreed that it had already been so long it was going to be really hard... it didn’t feel right for me to tell you behind his back. It would have been worse if you’d found out from someone other than Jinho.”

Hyunggu drew his lips into a line, but his eyes still looked sad as he stared at Yuto and then at Hongseok and finally Jinho.

“I’m... I’m upset you didn’t tell me.” He said softly. “But... I’m not you. I don’t know how you deal with things like this. I’ve never... really been uncertain about my orientation. And I don’t know how your depression affects any of this either.”

“You’re right. I didn’t grow up like you. I’m glad I didn’t, honestly. I’m upset, but I don’t know what you’re going though and I don’t fully understand the reasons you had for not telling me. But I hope you know that you can tell me anything, Jinho. Even if it’s just gibberish. Even if you don’t know what you’re saying. Just tell me.” 

The look in Hyunggu’s eyes was so sad, Hongseok felt like he’d kicked a whole box of puppies just by looking at him. He snapped his head down as Jinho pulled away from him and walked to Hyunggu with his head down. As soon as he was close to the other, he pulled him into a hug. 

“I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” His voice cracked halfway through and Hyunggu wrapped his arms around him tightly.

____________

 

Everything had been said that could be said, and everything was fine now, but the silence in the apartment felt suffocating. Hongseok could feel it, so he knew Jinho had to have felt it too. He glanced to his left, where Jinho was sitting beside him on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest. They were separated by the big stuffed rabbit from the toy shop. He’d found a pair of pajama pants to pull on before they explained everything, and Hongseok had put on the extra shirt he’d packed so he didn’t feel so exposed.

They’d just told Hyunggu everything. Start to finish. A glance across the room made it clear the younger was still trying to absorb and register everything he’d been told. Yuto shifted uncomfortably in a chair in the corner. 

“I still just... can’t believe you like men.” Hyunggu huffed in an almost bitter amusement. He stared down at the rug, something flashing across his face.

“...I can’t really believe it either.” Jinho murmured.

“You know, I had a crush on you when we were kids.” Everyone blinked in surprise at Hyunggu’s sudden confession.

“You did?” Jinho croaked, throat sore from crying. Hyunggu nodded.

“I thought it was just me loving you like my older brother at first.” He continued. “But I heard the girls at my school talk about crushes and boys and I realized that wasn’t so different from how I felt towards you. I think I knew since then. That I liked guys too.”

Hyunggu looked up, a sad smile on his face.

“But you were older and you said you had a crush on the pretty girl in your class. You’d never like someone who was like your little brother. So I know how Hongseok felt. Why it hurt so badly. But I was a kid, I got over it.” He turned to Hongseok. “I’m happy it ended up working for you in the end. Falling for a straight guy sucks, at any age.”

“I had no idea Hyunggu...” Jinho curled in on himself a little further.

“It’s okay, I told you I got over it. I dated other people, okay a lot of other people. I’m not upset you didn’t like me back anymore.” He smiled in Yuto’s direction. “And now I’ve got his guy, who makes me really happy.”

The Japanese boy blushed profusely in return.

“I just... wish finding out who you like wasn’t so hard.” Hyunggu said. “And that relationships weren’t so complicated. Some people really deserve a good relationship. You fought really hard for each other and I think you two earned that kind of relationship. I think you fell for a good person, Jinho. I hope you two can stay together for a long time.”

Hongseok felt his face heat up a little. He felt like he just got approval from Jinho’s parents to date him, even though it was only Hyunggu. 

“I always joked you two were like my extra set of parents.” He laughed. “Now you sort of are, huh?”

Hongseok smiled, tugging at the collar of his T-shirt. 

“I guess we are now.” Jinho answered, voice a bit more cheerful.

“And now you don’t have to be careful around me.” Hyunggu added. “Cuddle, kiss, whatever you want as long as you don’t fuck loudly when I’m home.”

Jinho sputtered.

“So we’re allowed to have sex, but only if we’re quiet?” Hongseok cackled.

“Hey, if I can’t hear it, I don’t know it’s happening.” Hyunggu pursed his lips and raised his hands in surrender. 

“Jinho’s too loud, we’ll never get away with it.”

“Oh my god shut up.” Jinho buried his face in his arms. 

“I can’t believe you’re the loud one!” Hyunggu laughed, his whole body swaying with it.

“But you said it’s better to be loud?” Yuto said in confusion.

“Pffft!” Hyunggu could hardly hold back his laughter to answer. “No, no, babe, it is better to be vocal if it feels good or not so your partner knows whether they’re doing the right thing. It’s just funny because I didn’t expect it from Jinho.”

“I’d really rather we didn’t talk about my sex life.” Jinho groaned.

“Okay, but who tops?” Hyunggu waved off Jinho’s plea.

“-Ah, um.” It was Hongseok’s turn to get a little flustered. He looked at Jinho and back at the younger.

“Are you the _bottom_?” Hyunggu gasped in revelation.

“Seriously?” Yuto asked, surprised.

“...yeah. But, Jinho’s officially a top as of today.”

“He doesn’t need to know that.” Jinho hissed at his boyfriend.

“ _Oh my god_ you two did it for the first time today?” Hyunggu exclaimed. “No wonder you had so many bruises!”

“Hyunggu, please....” Jinho quietly begged.

“To be fair I still did most of the work, since Jinho didn’t know what he was doing.” He grinned, nudging Jinho in the side.

“How am I supposed to know when I’ve never done it before!?” Jinho snapped, face red.

“That’s how it was when me and Yuto did it for the first time.” Hyunggu giggled into his hand. Yuto went rigid as his entire body drained of color. 

“B-b-but, you told me you liked being the one in control!” Yuto pitifully cried out.

“Ooooh, a power bottom.” Hongseok nodded, unsurprised. 

“I don’t know what that means and I don’t want to.” Jinho shook his head.

“Is that like something from the weird quiz you made me take?” Yuto hesitantly asked.

“Oh no, it’s not from that.” Hyunggu quickly answered.

“...what kind of quiz did you have that boy take?” Hongseok narrowed his eyes at Hyunggu.

“I just wanted to know what he was into is all.” He said, waving it off.

“Yuto, run away now.” Jinho told him, only get it a confused and fearful look in return.

“It’s _fine_. He’s a softie anyway. He just really likes it when I compliment him.” Hyunggu said, shooting a sweet smile towards his boyfriend. “Isn’t that right, handsome?”

“Hyunggu, please don’t t-talk about that.” Yuto begged, face red as a tomato already.

“Aw look, you’re already flustered.”

“He gets flustered when any of us compliment him.” Hongseok pointed out.

“Yeah, but get him in a closed dark room with a bed and that flattery goes straight to hi-“

“Hyunggu, please!” Yuto wailed.

“Can we all collectively just go to bed? Separately?” Jinho suggested, ready to tear his hair out.

“But I wanna know every embarrassing detail!” Hyunggu pouted.

“He cried the first time I gave him a blow job.”

“I was emotionally unstable and you know it, you jerk!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d love to hear what you guys think now that everything is out in the open! I also hope this chapter was longer and much more satisfying than my past few. I’m not great at writing this kind of intimacy since it’s not what I personally prefer, but I know not everyone feels the same as me. I just thought it’d be really cute if Jinho overprepared himself for it but still got too flustered ;; 
> 
> And now I have a couple questions for you dear readers regarding the progression of this story:
> 
> I’m reaching a point where issues are all slowly being resolved and major milestones are being reached in Jinho and Hongseok’s relationship. At this point in the story, I can either bring it to an end within a few chapters, or add in another conflict to extend it further. If I were to end this fic, I had the idea of doing some side stories involving the other relationships and characters in the story. If I add another conflict, I may not do the side stories. So would you mind telling me your thoughts? 
> 
> I’m about to start busting my butt getting all my course work done for my last semester of school and want to try and plan out when I can fit in time to write. I’m also taking a fiction writing course and want to explore some new plot lines. I have a couple ideas I abandoned that I want to return to and I’m satisfied with this story enough to see it end without regrets, though it’s been incredibly fun to write.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave kudos, comments and/or contact me on my Twitter (will add link soon, but it is available in past chapters in the endnotes too!), since I’m still struggling to find my tumblr password...
> 
> Much love! <3<3<3


	18. Chuseok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongseok invites Jinho to come home with him for Chuseok and he finally tells him about Hanbin.
> 
> Changgu says something he shouldn’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abusive/possessive relationship. Hongseok talks about Hanbin and gives a little more detail in some places compared to the flashback earlier on in the fic!

“I can’t believe you’re really going to work like that.” Changgu sighed. Hongseok whirled around on his heel and shot him a confused look

“I don’t know what you mean I’m dressed like I usually am any other day.” He replied, stuffing a textbook and a thin jacket into his backpack.

“Hongseok, the bruises.” Changgu groaned. His roommate’s face flushed.

“Are they still that noticeable?” He awkwardly laughed, busying himself by fighting with the main backpack pocket’s zipper.

“”Well, being that it’s only been a day, yeah. They look pretty fresh.” The younger crossed his arms with an amused smirk. “And I really doubt the moms that drop of their kids are going to take too kindly to them.”

“Oh god, Mrs. Jang would scream if she saw them.”

“C’mere.” He waved Hongseok over and jerked his head towards the bathroom. Obediently, he followed, abandoning his bag on the counter. His eyes followed Changgu’s hands as he dug through his bag of makeup products. “I didn’t have the right concealer or foundation for you back then at the party but I found some I thought might match a couple weeks ago.”

“I’m really not in the mood for makeup, Changgu...” Hongseok mumbled. “And we really need to get going, I wanted to pick up something for lunch before our shift started.”

“I won’t be long. Just going to hide those bruises and add a thin layer on your face so it blends in better.” He reassured. “Nothing fancy.”

“If you touch anything that isn’t concealer or foundation, I’m washing my face and risking it all at the daycare.” The older warned. Changgu raised his hands and pursed his lips.

“Okay, Okay. Just know that threat is more of a punishment for you than it is for me.” He shook his head and squeezed out some primer onto the back of his hand. “Now hold still.”

 

 

“Teacher Hongseok? Your face looks weird today.” A little girl’s voice said from somewhere at the small round table he was seated at with the students during snack time. Hongseok raised his eyebrows as he flicked his eyes up from the juice box he was struggling to stick a straw in for one of the other students. 

“What do you mean? Do I look funny?” He asked, immediately making a goofy face. That sent a roar of high pitched laughter around the table. 

“No Teacher! Your skin looks funny.” She said again, revealing it to be little Dahye sitting beside him who asked the question. He pouted, still not sure what she meant. Before he could say anything, she poked his cheek. Her face contorted into a look of horror as she noticed her finger had changed color when she pulled away. “Your face came off on my finger!” She squealed. The other little girl beside her, Minjoo, did the same. Hongseok scrunched his eyebrows together but smiled at their antics.

“That’s not my face, it’s just makeup.” He explained, handing the juice box back across the table, a tiny straw now sticking out of the top.

“You wear makeup Teacher Hongseok? But I thought only girls wore that.” Minjoo asked, genuinely curious.

“Guys can wear it too.” He said with a shake of his head. “All those handsome guys that sing and dance on tv wear it too.” 

“Oooooh.” They all said in unison.

“But how come you never wore it before, Teacher?” Dahye asked.

“My roommate really wanted to put my makeup on for me this morning and I let him.” Hongseok explained, careful to leave out the reasons why.

“Is your roommate a boy too?” Minjoo is eyes were big and sparkly, fully engrossed in the conversation.

“Mhm, he really likes makeup. He’s a teacher here too.” He smiled, opening a bag of apple slices another little girl handed him. She giggled after he ruffled her hair and handed the snacks back to her.

“He does!?” The kids gasped. 

“You’re roommate’s with another teacher? That’s so cool!” The little boy with the juice box said.

“How come you live together, Teacher Hongseok?” The boy beside him asked.

“We go to school together at the big college downtown.” 

“Are you both friends?” Dahye asked.

“He’s my best friend!” Hongseok grinned. A chorus of little “waaaaah”s sounded around the table.

“I wanna live with my best friend when I get big!” The little boy with the juice box exclaimed, the tiny straw sticking out of his mouth.

“Ah, Hyunjae be careful not to choke on your straw.” Hongseok warned. 

“I wanna live with Minjoo!” Dahye squealed, hugging the girl beside her with a big smile. Minjoo hugged her back and quickly replied with a high pitched “I wanna live with Dahye, too!”

Hongseok rested his cheek in his hand and smiled fondly at them.

 

 

He couldn’t help it when his mind wandered off as he was hanging up his apron for the day. Seeing how curious and accepting these kids always were made his heart melt. He really enjoyed working here. Or maybe he just really liked kids.

He wouldn’t mind having kids, at some point. Having his own is sort of out of the question, but he wouldn’t be opposed to adopting. Maybe just fostering at first, just in case his income wasn’t the best or if he wasn’t ready for that kind of long term commitment just yet.

He could curl up on the couch with the child in his lap and Jinho’s head on his shoulder as they watched a movie together. Or they could cook a meal as a family. They could take trips to the zoo, swinging the kid’s arms between them or letting them sit on their shoulders. Jinho could sing them to sleep when they had nightmares...

Jinho...

Had he ever thought about any of this? Having kids? If he did, how many? Where would he raise them? Who would he raise them with?

Hongseok shook his head. It was embarrassing thinking so far ahead when he and Jinho hadn’t been dating that long. They hadn’t even known each other for a full year yet. And how could he be certain they’d even still be together? Just because he’s Jinho’s first boyfriend doesn’t mean he’ll be his last. 

Sighing, he pulled his backpack out of his locker and dug his keys out of the front pocket.

“I’m still in college, I shouldn’t even be thinking about this.” He muttered to himself. _I need my degree first. I need a job. A home. A few years to save up._ He thought to himself.

“Hey, Hongseok!” A cutesy voice called. Snapping his head away from the locker, he saw a smiling Eunbin in the doorway.

“Ah, Eunbin! How are you? You weren’t with my class today.” Hongseok grinned, closing the locker door.

“I was with Changgu today, his helper called in sick. Yujin told me since you have the smallest class you’d be able to handle them on your own and told me to help him for the day.” She explained. “Sorry I couldn’t let you know sooner.”

“It’s okay, things happen.” He shrugged, smile never leaving his face. Eunbin was just so precious, it was hard not to smile when she was in the room. He slung his backpack over one shoulder as they chatted for a little while. He hadn’t been in for most of the week in preparation for the trial, so Eunbin had plenty of fun stories involving the kids to share.

“Oh, and Hongseok?” She chirped.

“Hm?” He hummed in reply, opening his eyes a little wider to show he was listening.

“I know you usually leave right after your shift ends, but me and the others are going out for dinner together. No special reason, just because.” 

He blinked in surprise that she had noticed how quickly he left after work each day. At the same time, he was touched she was inviting him. Something told him Yujin sent her because she knew he couldn’t say no to cute little Eunbin. Or, well, she was one of the tallest girls working there, but she was still the youngest out of all of them, so little was just figurative. He felt bad that he was still going to have to decline.

“I was actually about to go pick up my boyfriend...” He started, scratching the back of his head. “I can’t really ditch him. Otherwise, I’d love too, just not tonight.”

“You have a _boyfriend_!?” She gasped. Hongseok froze, not knowing where this was going. She pouted at him, her bottom lip quivering. “That’s no fair, you never told me about him!”

A gush of air left his lungs as he sighed in relief. 

“Sorry, we weren’t really... public about it until recently.” He chuckled, brushing off the sudden dread he’d felt seconds before.

“Then you should bring him! If you’re picking him up I’m sure it means you’re taking him to eat anyway, right?” Eunbin energetically suggested, bouncing on her heels.

“I... I guess I can ask him if he’d like to tag along.” Hongseok awkwardly grinned, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Yes! I get to meet Hongseok’s boyfriend!”

“I haven’t asked him yet, don’t get your hopes up too high.” He reminded her. He typed out the question and sent it to him, knowing he was already a little late and that Jinho was probably mucking around on his phone waiting for him by now.

“Is he cute? I bet he’s super cute.” She asked, leaning closer. “What’s his name? Does he know anyone my age who’s single and likes pastries?”

“Slow down there.” Hongseok laughed, catching the little “...” typing bubble popping up on his screen.

“Is he shorter than you or taller than you? You seem like the type to want someone shorter.”

“He’s shorter, and I don’t really have a height preference about who I date.” 

“Okay, how old is he?”

“Twenty-five.” He quipped, scanning over Jinho’s reply. “And he say’s he’ll come depending on where we’re going.”

“Oh, we’re going to a cool new fusion place. They have ramen and pizza and tacos and steak and crab soup... and um... they have a baby octopus dish but I don’t remember what the name of it was.” She answered.

“Well, he sounds interested, and mildly upset I haven’t picked him up yet, so I gotta go. Can you, Changgu or Yujin send me the address?”

“Yeah, of course! Go get that boy!” She squealed, running back out into the hall to tell the others.

Hongseok shook his head with a smile and shot out the back door and into the staff parking lot. 

____________

 

“My cheeks are so sore.” Jinho whined. Hongseok puffed out an laugh as he turned into his apartment’s parking lot. “Why do your work friends all collectively feel the need to pinch my cheeks?”

“Because you’re cute and tiny, Jinho. And you have a baby face.” Changgu reasoned from the back seat, tapping away on his phone.

“I’m not tiny! I’m average!” He whined again.

“No, you’re a little under average height and I’m pretty sure you know it.” Hongseok side eyed him as he backed into a parking spot.

“You’re supposed to take my side!” He cried. “And it’s not fair when everyone you know is so freaking tall!”

“We can’t help how tall we are, Jinho.” Changgu said flatly. Jinho wondered what he was doing back there for his tone to be lacking in it’s usual cheeriness.

“Also, Hongseok?”

“Yeah?”

“Yan An says your mom is here.”

The car stopped mid-park.

“She’s what?”

“She’s here because she wanted to wish you luck on your final year at school but you weren’t answering your phone.” Changgu read aloud, word for word, from the text Yan An sent him. “She just came to the apartment because she didn’t know where else to find you.”

“A-are we at that stage where I meet your parents?” Jinho stammered.

“I don’t know she’s never given a damn about my love life before. I haven’t spoken to my parents in almost a year because they’ve been so busy.” Hongseok admitted, slowly finishing his parking job so he could panic in peace without the risk of getting hit by another car stupidly flying through the dark parking lot.

“Yan An’s entertaining them for now.” Changgu unbuckled and leaned forward between the front seats. “You can’t just leave her in there after she drove all the way up here.”

“I-I just figured she’d forget I was up here and keep being a doting, slightly obsessive grandparent to my brother’s one year old until I moved back home.”

“You were going to move back home?” Jinho asked, face a little sad. Hongseok gaped at him, lost for words. “And you’re an uncle?”

“I told my parents I’d move back home but that was never really the plan..” Hongseok quickly confessed. “I was gonna move in with uh...” he looked at Changgu and got a shake of the head in return. “With... a friend at the time, but they didn’t know that. But we don’t talk anymore, so that plan got scrapped too, now I was just planning on being a third wheel housemate with Changgu and Yan An until I had enough money for my own place.”

Jinho blinked at the anxious word vomit Hongseok had just answered him with.

“Okay, sooooo.” Changgu clapped his hands together to grab their attention. “What do you wanna do?”

“I mean I know I gotta go inside but I know she’ll ask who the heck Jinho is and since she’s never asked me about relationship statuses before I don’t really know if my parents are opposed to... _this_.” He said as he waved a hand between him and Jinho.

“Us? Or you being with a guy?”

“Being gay, but I guess us too since you’re.. not... exactly wealthy. Or prostegious. Or tall, dark and handsome. No scratch that, you’re handsome just not the first two.”

“That hurts, but I understand.”

“So, are we introducing your mom to Jinho?” Changgu raised an eyebrow.

“I guess so?”

____________

 

“There’s my baby boy!” Mrs.Yang cried when Hongseok awkwardly stumbled —was pushed— into the living room where she and Yan An were chatting over tea at the table.

“Hey, mom.” He responded fondly. Jinho noticed how his eyes turned soft when he saw her. She pulled him into a long hug, one that Hongseok reciprocated without hesitation.

“Oh, I missed you so _much_!” She cooed, squishing his cheeks and gently shaking his head back and forth.

“Okay, Okay!” He chuckled, prying her hands off his face. “That’s enough of that.”

“Hello, Changgu!” She happily said as she peered past Hongseok. “I haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you?”

“I’m doing great Mrs. Yang, it’s so nice to see you. It’s been forever! You look so pretty today, I’m sorry we kept you waiting for so long.” Changgu replied, polite as ever. “We just got back from eating with our coworkers. It was a little loud so he didn’t hear his phone.”

“He was never very good about answering when I called anyway.” She said as she playfully rolled her eyes. “And who’s this? I’ve never seen this adorable face before. Your cheeks are so rosy!”

“This is Jinho.” Hongseok said, pausing in hesitation. He looked to Jinho for encouragement. The older shot him a look that clearly said “...aaaaaaand?”

“Is he a coworker? Or did you three get another roommate?”

“He’s my, um, my boyfriend.” 

Jinho gave her a ninety degree bow and a brilliant smile. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Yang.”

She stared at him in mild surprise for a moment before turning back to Hongseok, her mouth forming a tiny “o”.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you too, Jinho.” She greeted, extending a hand and surprising everyone with how calm she seemed about the whole thing. “I hope you’re taking good care of little Hongseok, because you are absolutely _precious_!” Jinho shook her hand with a slightly darker shade of pink dusting his cheeks.

“You’re... not upset?” Hongseok asked, still not understanding what just happened.

“Why would I be upset? Look at him!” She threw both her arms in his direction, proudly putting him on display. “All the ladies at the salon are going to be _so jealous_ when they find out my son is dating the cutest boy in South Korea!”

“Ah, that’s very kind of you to say...” Jinho blushed, rubbing his hand over his neck.

“Your mom is more whipped for Jinho than you are him and they’ve only known each other for thirty seconds!” Yan An cackled behind them.

“But... But I thought you’d... I don’t know? Be surprised I was dating a guy?” Hongseok admitted.

“Oh, honey. You live with a happy couple made up of two men, I kind of figured you preferred men as well.” She told him. “And you were awful close with that boy Hanbin when you two were kids. I had a feeling.”

“Mom, I’d rather not talk about Hanbin.” He said quietly. Jinho had never seen the expression that was currently plastered onto Hongseok’s face before. It wasn’t just one emotion, but a collage of something akin to heartbreak, hatred, sadness, anger, fear, emptiness and desperation. He furrowed his eyebrows, but dared not to ask due to the way Hongseok’s eyes looked hollow and suddenly much older than they ever had. He knew there was something Hongseok wasn’t wanting to tell him, and he had a feeling his mom didn’t know what it was either.

“Ah you’re right, I shouldn’t talk about your past crushes in front of your boyfriend, should I?” She pouted. “I’m sorry, honey.”

“Thank you.” It looked like the life had been drained out of him just from hearing the name.

____________

 

“You just got adopted on sight.” Changgu laughed over his bottle of beer. He’d made the executive decision to drink since it was Friday and the positive encounter with Hongseok’s mother was a reason to celebrate according to him. To be fair, no one else had argued against the suggestion. Two bottles clinked together as Yan An and Changgu giggled out a “cheers”.

“Your mom called my ass cute and I’m still in shock.” Jinho sputtered. Yan An nearly spewed beer out of his nose.

“While that’s sorta weird, I agree, she’s not wrong.” Hongseok stated, tipping the top of his bottle towards his lover. “I’m just glad she decided to stay at a hotel and not here.”

“Why? So you can get some of that ass?” Yan An quirked an eyebrow. “I’d really rather you didn’t while me and Changgu are here.”

“No!” He quickly snapped in reply. His cheeks flushed red. “That... wasn’t the intention. I just didn’t want her to stay here and nitpick my living habits all night.”

“But uh, would you want... to...” Jinho mumbled from the other side of the couch. Hongseok turned and blinked at him.

“Are you saying you _want_ to have sex despite knowing these two can hear us?” He asked, exasperated and pointing his finger between Changgu and Yan An. Jinho stared hard down at his lap, cheeks bright red.

“You two really must have had a good time the other night.” Changgu said before taking a sip from his beer. Hongseok shot him a quick glare.

“I meant to ask if you’d want to do that again anytime soon, but I started getting flustered halfway through.” Jinho clarified.

“Oh.” He breathed. “Yes, absolutely.”

Jinho looked away, holding his cheek in one hand to hide the curled corner of his mouth and his blush.

“Just please, don’t do it here.” Yan An reiterated. Hongseok just snorted, rolling his eyes.

A violent vibration from Jinho’s pocket startled him, starting a domino effect around the room of startled men. He pulled his phone out to see Hui’s ugly selfie flashing across his screen. 

“Ah, sorry, he’s been trying to call me all day. I should probably answer.” Jinho said with an embarrassed smile.

“Put him on speaker phone! I wanna say hi, since we haven’t talked since your grad ceremony. If he has something important to talk with you about you can always switch it over after.” Changgu clapped his hands together in excitement.

“Sure, I can do that.” He chuckled, swiping up and switching it over to speaker. “Hey Hui, don’t say anything weird beca-“

“HOW COULD YOU TELL HYUNGGU THAT YOU AND HONGSEOK FUCKED BEFORE TELLING ME?!”

“-use you’re on... speakerphone...” Jinho finished, eyes wide and face red. His expression was mirrored in Hongseok’s, surprise clear on the other two’s faces.

“Oh... who... who else is there?” Hui mumbled.

“Me, Hongseok and his roommates Changgu and Yan An... you met them at graduation...”

“I am so incredibly sorry you two had to hear that.” He quickly apologized. Jinho imagined he was bowing on the other side of the phone. 

“So you.. uh, tell Hui... about things we do?” Hongseok’s blush had yet to recede.

“Isn’t it sort of... best friend code to tell each other stuff like that?” Jinho innocently grinned with an unconvincing shrug.

“He’s told me a lot.” Hui admitted from the phone’s speakers.

“I just didn’t think you were the type to gush about me to your friends.”

“Well you were _wrong_.” Hui laughed. “He won’t shut up about you whenever we hang out. Stop giving the guy so much to talk about, I wanna talk about dumb stuff like tv shows and outdated memes sometimes too.”

“Hello Hui!” Changgu yelled in the direction of the phone.

“Hello! That’s Changgu, right?” Hui checked before he continued.

“Yes, this is Changgu!”

“It’s so nice to talk to you again! Sorry I couldn’t say much at the ceremony, I was too busy trying not to cry.”

“You did nothing _but_ cry and you know it, Hui.” Jinho countered.

“Okay, so I never said I was doing a good job of trying not to cry.”

“The moms behind us started laughing at one point because you were wailing when Jinho walked out.” Hongseok added.

“I don’t need this from you, mister gym rat.” Hui whined.

“It was cute though, you two must really be close for you to cry so much over your friend.” Changgu laughed.

“Well... yeah. I’m his best friend. Of course we’re close!” Hui retorted, embarrassment obvious in his tone.

“How long have you known Jinho?” Yan An asked sweetly. He’d been so quiet, everyone had forgotten he was there for a moment.

“Oh? Is that Yan An? Why is your voice so cute?” Hui asked in his own cutesy voice. Changgu pursed his lips at Yan An’s smug smile. “I’ve known Jinho for a little over four years now. I met him while I was restocking shelves at the grocery I work at. He was a freshman then and it was before I’d applied for college.”

“How do you make friends with someone while you’re restocking shelves?” Hongseok questioned, eyebrows furrowing.

“You accidentally fall on top of the person you’re befriending, like he did.” Jinho chuckled behind his hand.

“You know I’m not great with ladders.” Hui whined.

“Is that really what happened?” Changgu gasped.

“Mm, that’s the short version.” Jinho hummed.

“Long version is that the ladder wobbled a little while I was putting stuff on the top shelf and Jinho was getting something off another shelf beside me. I lost my balance and took quite a few boxes of cereal down with me. Jinho broke my fall and miraculously saved both of us from injury. I had to pay for the bottle of milk that broke open when I fell on it, but the dumb jokes we made about it beforehand made it clear we’d get along. Jinho ended up talking to me every time he came to the store until we just started hanging out.” Hui told them, laying out the story of how they met for the others.

“I can only imagine the awful dad jokes you two told each other that day.” Hongseok teased.

“Says the king of dad jokes himself.” Jinho shot back.

“We can’t save you from your fate, Hongseok.” Yan An merely said when he looked to his roommates for help. His shoulders drooped with a pout, making the others laugh.

“Did Hongseok Just surrender? I can’t see anything through the phone.” Hui asked, not a part of the laughter.

“It’s okay, Hongseok’s just pouting.” Jinho told him, getting a soft glare from his boyfriend.

“Don’t let him fool you Hongseok, he thinks your pout is cute. He just might kiss it away if you keep at it.” Hui cackled.

“ _Hui_.” Jinho groaned. Hongseok grinned before pouting even harder.

“Now you just look dumb, stop it.” He told him before gingerly punching him in the arm.

“Just knock him out, Jinho.” Yan An snickered from across the room.

“Then maybe we’ll finally get some peace and quiet around here.” Changgu joined in.

“I don’t encourage violence, you might want to stop whatever you’re doing Hongseok.” Hui giggled. Jinho smiled in amusement as he caught Yan An’s cheeks flush from hearing Hui’s laughter.

“Oh no, I think Yan An thinks you’re cute too, Hui.” Changgu announced, taunting the blonde. 

“I-it was just his laugh, I’m already dating you, you fool.” Yan An retorted, covering his rosy cheeks with his hands.

“Well I’m honored you think my laugh is cute. But I’m sorry to say Jinho and I don’t have the same preferences for romantic interests and I know you’re not single.” Hui said in a playful manner.

“He’s playfully and politely saying he likes girls.” Jinho clarified as he rolled his eyes.

“You don’t have to say it like that...” Hui mumbled. 

“You didn’t really strike me as gay, so I’m not really surprised.” Yan An admitted. 

“I don’t really know how to react to that.” Hui laughed, obviously a little flustered.

“Oh! Jinho met Hongseok’s mom today!” Changgu chirped, suddenly remembering the recent event they’d been discussing just moments ago.

“You met his _mom_???” Hui gasped. “You’re leveling up so fast! What did she think?”

“She immediately started saying how she was going to brag about how cute Jinho was at the hair salon.” Hongseok groaned with a smile.

“Oh my god, that’s like, instant adoption.” He exclaimed in reply.

“I’m convinced she think’s Jinho’s cuter than her own son by the way she cooed and made over him the whole time.” Changgu chuckled.

“She didn’t even make a fuss about him not being a doctor or a ceo or any of the generic _my child must be dating the best_ crap. I was honestly surprised.” Hongseok told them.

“Is she usually fussy about that sort of thing?” Hui asked.

“I mean, she went on for years about how my brother married a successful business woman. I just sort of figured she expected me to date and eventually marry a high ranking, upper class, noble, prodigy, sort of person.” Hongseok stumbled a bit through the end of his explanation.

“But she _adored_ Jinho on the spot. Hearing how happy he made Hongseok only seemed to win her over even more. She didn’t ask what he did until right before she left.” Changgu continued.

“She seemed even more impressed that he made music. Going on about finally getting an artist in the family.” Yan An added in an amused tone.

“Hearing it again now, it kinda sounds like she’s already planning your wedding.” Changgu cackled. Jinho and Hongseok blushed furiously.

“Don’t let her rush you two, you’re both still young and you haven’t even known each other for a year. There’s no rush.” Hui reminded them both.

“Yeah, don’t freak out about your mom’s eagerness. Moms only want one thing at this point in life: grandchildren.” Yan An said in a comically serious tone. Jinho, Hui and Changgu sputtered at the ridiculous idea, but still knowing Yan An was completely right.

Hongseok swallowed hard. The blush wasn’t leaving his face anytime soon. His thoughts from earlier flooded back to him, certain the beer he’d had wasn’t helping him.

“I’m surprised you didn’t laugh too.” Yan An said, staring straight at Hongseok. “You and Changgu usually laugh at the same things.”

“That’s right... You were the only one who didn’t laugh.” Changgu mused, cocking his head. “Are we losing our best buddy connection ‘Seok?”

“N-no, we’re not losing our connection.” He awkwardly laughed, a little too quickly.

“You feel kinda warm, you okay?” Jinho asked, suddenly cupping his cheek. Hongseok reeled back, eyes wide.

“I’m okay, the alcohol’s just... getting to me is all.”

“We’re you guys drinking? Without me?” Hui gasped.

“Oh shush, you have work in the morning.” Jinho retorted before turning back to Hongseok with a frown.

“We’re you seriously thinking about having kids, Hongseok? In the future?” Yan An asked. Hongseok whipped his head around in horror.

“He was.” Changgu gasped. Hongseok’s blush quickly became contagious as Jinho’s face burned.

“I-I-I mean, we all think about it at s-some point, right?” Hongseok stammered. “You can’t tell me neither of you have thought about it.”

“We’ve talked about it, of course.” Changgu calmly answered. “But it would be really hard since we can’t even marry each other in Korea, let alone adopt a child together.”

Jinho and Hongseok stared blankly at the two.

“I’m just calling you out since I’m sure Jinho was involved in whatever daydream you had about kids.” Yan An nonchalantly revealed.

“Was I?” Jinho asked, voice so low it was almost a whisper as he looked back at Hongseok.

“The plot _thickens_.” Hui narrated dramatically.

“...yeah. You were.”

Jinho pulled his eyes away, suddenly looking at everything but Hongseok. Unthinking, he took a gulp of beer from the bottle before grabbing his phone.

“Hui, I’ll call you back.” He hung up and stood from his seat, hands first playing with the hem of his shirt then running through his hair.

“Hey, Jinho, are _you_ okay?” Changgu asked, raising an eyebrow at Jinho’s odd reaction. 

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong-“ Hongseok reached out.

“No, it’s fine. That’s just. Thinking really far ahead. I don’t-I haven’t thought about anything like that. Not this soon at least.” Jinho interrupted in clipped sentences.

“You sound a little overwhelmed, take a deep breath, I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Yan An said, standing up, holding his hands up like he was training a raptor from the Jurassic Park series. 

“You’re right, I’m just a little overwhelmed.” Jinho nodded, sucking in a long breath.

“I shouldn’t have said anything-“ Hongseok started again.

“If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t have asked.” Jinho cut him off again before another long inhale. Slowly, he sat back down on the couch.

“So then... what’s with this reaction?” Changgu hesitantly asked.

Jinho frowned and avoided Hongseok’s gaze.

“It hasn’t been that long since I realized I liked guys or started dating one.” Jinho mumbled. “Thinking about starting a family with another man so early into this is a little scary. It was already scary before, but this time it’s unfamiliar.”

“Why was it scary before?” Yan An furrowed his eyebrows.

“I mean... I never really felt the urge or need to have anything long lasting or serious with any of the girls I dated. If I can’t even imagine being with them that long, trying to imagine having a family is frightening since I can’t see it lasting.” Jinho admitted, round eyes looking up at a Yan An. The blonde flinched at the unintentionally sad puppy eyes he was being given.

“Do you see us lasting?” Hongseok said behind him. Jinho turned his head, not far enough to completely see Hongseok but just enough to let him know he’d heard. He paused, afraid he wouldn’t sound sincere no matter what he said.

“This is the only relationship I’ve had that I want to last.” He breathed. A hand fisted tightly around the collar of his shirt took him by surprise. He blinked and a pair of warm lips were crashing against his. 

“Goodness...” Changgu mumbled from somewhere. It was hard to tell what was happening while Hongseok was busy kissing him silly.

____________

 

“You look exhausted! What the heck happened to you?” Hyunggu exclaimed, watching as Jinho dragged himself into the kitchen. “Did you run all the way here from Hongseok’s place?”

“No, I didn’t run here. He dropped me off on his way to the gym.” Jinho explained, climbing into one of the chairs at the counter. Hyunggu turned off the burner on the stove so he could turn his full attention to his roommate.

“Then why do you look so tired?” He asked again. 

The older snapped his eyes away with a faint blush. 

“Oh?” Hyunggu raised a knowing eyebrow. “Did Hongseok keep you up late last night?” 

“He-he might’ve.” Jinho mumbled.

“Well, I can only hope his roommates weren’t home.” Hyunggu chuckled.

“They um... had a loud movie marathon in the living room.”

“Scandalous.” The younger gasped behind a toothy grin.

“Do-don’t patronize me!” Jinho shot back.

“Hey, I’m not trying to harass you about it! I’m just happy you’re telling me now.” Jinho’s heart nearly melted a little at the warm, innocent smile that accompanied Hyunggu’s words. “And I never knew you were so easy to fluster! You must really be in love this time.”

“You almost had me there at the beginning.” He grumbled.

“I do this out of love.”

“Hyunggu?” Jinho looked back up at him, voice suddenly serious.

“Hu-huh?” His expression quickly shifted to mild shock and concern.

“I really fucking love him.” Just saying that, Jinho managed to hit himself with a wave of emotions. He couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in his eyes.

“Oh, Oh Jinho, hey, it’s okay.” Hyunggu quickly comforted, stepping forward. “I didn’t mean to make you cry if it’s because of what I said-“

“Sorry, I’m just really tied and he’s so good to me.” Jinho cut him off with a sniffle. “I don’t know what I did to deserve him.”

Hyunggu hurriedly rounded the edge of the counter to come wrap Jinho in a tight hug.

“Why are you crying? Doesn’t all of that make you happy?” He asked, pouting and not sure what to do.

“That’s why I’m crying! I’m so happy I don’t know what else to do!” Jinho sobbed into his roommate’s t-shirt. 

“Then let it out if you need to.” Hyunggu smiled, eyebrows still slightly scrunched in pity and amusement.

“He really is just perfect.” The older said between blubbering cries and mumbled nonsense. “He’s not perfect _perfect_ , since he’s got anxiety and asthma and he wears dumb cheesy t-shirts and he can be a little clingy but he’s perfect to _me_ despite all of that.”

Hyunggu patted his head and cooed as he babbled, even as the tears soaked through his shirt and made the fabric cling to his skin. 

“He always listens to me and we can talk things out if things get bumpy and he always tells me I don’t need to diet and he supports me no matter what. We can just be in the same room and talk or say nothing at all and we’re still just as happy.”

“You deserve someone great. From what you’ve told me, Hongseok fits that description.”

“I want this to last, Hyunggu. I want it to last so badly.”

“And I hope you two stay together for a very long time.”

____________

 

A month later, they were still going strong. In the sense that there was no sign of them breaking up. To be completely honest, Hongseok had just watched the both of them slowly grow increasingly domestic and even more content to simply share the same space. They hadn’t had nearly as much sex as Inseong insisted they had in a month. It was just once. They didn’t have the sex drive the computer science major had. Thinking about it, he pitied Jaeyoon. Poor guy’s probably alway sore. Maybe that’s why he’s gotten so muscular recently.

Regardless, the quiet was nice. He could finish up research for his thesis while Jinho would work on his own personal projects or piddle around the apartment. He loved it when they’d both get in the zone with whatever they were doing because that’s when Jinho would always start humming something. If it was a really good day and Jinho had offered to cook, Hongseok got to hear quiet singing from the kitchen.

Those were the best days. 

But his phone had been interrupting those sweet little moments more often lately.

Hongseok’s mom was already harassing him about coming home for Chuseok. She was dropping not so subtle hints that she wanted him to bring Jinho home with him for the holiday. 

“Are you going to answer that?” Jinho called, turning around to give him a look from the stove. “That’s your mom’s ringtone isn’t it?”

“The fact that she’s called so much recently that you know her set ringtone is ridiculous.” Hongseok laughed, a slight bitterness to his tone.

“Well?” Jinho raised an eyebrow and frowned, pointedly looking at the phone then back up at Hongseok.

“She’s asked me the same thing every time she calls for a week now, I’d really rather not be asked the same question again for the millionth time.”

“It’s your mother, suck it up and answer the phone.” Jinho said flatly.

“ _Fine_ , Jiminy Cricket.” Hongseok sighed, picking up the phone and swiping up to answer. Jinho pursed his lips at the nickname and shot him a glare before turning back to the vegetables he was busy sautéing. “Hey mom, did you need something?”

“Seokkie, I need to know how many people to expect so I can start planning my grocery list tonight. Are you and Jinho coming home for Chuseok this year?” By the way she told him so sweetly, he knew she was starting to get desperate.

“Mom, of course I’m coming home for Chuseok. My internship didn’t carry over after last fall semester, so I can actually come home for the holidays.” He answered.

“Oh but what about Jinho? Is he going home to his family or is he able to come stay with us?” His mom persisted.

“Mother, I don’t know I haven’t asked him yet.” Hongseok sighed, definitely not staring at Jinho’s ass while he stirred the vegetables in the pan.

“Well then why don’t you ask him? By the way you sound he’s with you isn’t he?” 

“What do you mean by the way I sound?” Hongseok scoffed.

“Seokkie, don’t play dumb. You sound distracted on the phone when you’re with Jinho.” His mom explained.

“Okay, Yes he’s here. But he’s busy right now, I shouldn’t bug him.”

“Does your mom need something?” Jinho turned, catching on that he was the topic of conversation.

“Oh, is that Jinho? Won’t you ask him for me while he’s not busy?” Hongseok’s mom chirped shamelessly. Hongseok gaped at his phone.

“She... wanted to know if you were... coming home with me for Chuseok.” Hongseok said, fingers playing with the corner of his textbook.

Jinho’s cheeks flushed a bit at that.

“Well? What did he say? I can’t hear anything.”

“He hasn’t answered yet mom, hang on.” Hongseok quietly hissed.

“She wants me to come stay with you for Chuseok?” Jinho stammered.

“Yes, she won’t stop harassing me about it.” Hongseok groaned.

“I heard that, mister!”

“I’m sure you did.” Hongseok replied before looking back up at Jinho. “So, do you want to think about it and let me know later?”

“I’ll come home with you.”

“Okay, just let me kno-what?” Hongseok snapped his head up. “Really?”

“Did he say yes?”

“Mother, _please_.”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” Jinho nodded. “My parents usually have to keep the restaurant open for the people who come in on Chuseok. They try to give out some meals to people who can’t really afford to celebrate if they made enough through the year to do so. It’s not a strict family-only holiday at my house. Since they hired a new part+timer, I can miss it.”

“He... he said yes. He’ll come home with me.” Hongseok mumbled into the phone. He had to quickly rip it away from his ear as his mother cried out in celebration.

“I could hear that from here.” Jinho laughed, turning back to the stove.

“Thank you for blowing out my eardrum, mom.” Hongseok grumbled.

“I’m sorry, honey. This is just such wonderful news!” She cooed. “Your brother is excited to meet Jinho too.”

“You told him?” 

“Of course I told him! He’s your brother!”

“But he’s okay with this too?”

“He was just as surprised as I was.”

“But you said you weren’t surprised.”

“Exactly!”

“Did you all just _know_ this whole time? And never said anything?”

“We didn’t want to assume...”

“But... that’s _exactly_ what you did!”

“Oh calm down, us knowing or assuming doesn’t change anything. We still love you no matter what.” He could practically see her waving her hand around in the air through the phone.

“It still kinda weirds me out.” Hongseok admitted.

“I already told you it was hard for us not to think you liked boys with how you clung to Hanbin.”

“Mom.”

“You two were awfully cute together. Do you two still talk? He hasn’t visited in almost two years. I miss him.”

“Things didn’t work out. We don’t talk and please, try not to miss him.”

“Oh, but how could I not? He was _so_ sweet. Always helping us around the house when he was over. Remember when he helped you and your dad fix that hole in the roof? He was such a wonderful young man.”

“Mom, I promise you he’s not. Please stop talking about him.” 

“Or what about when you two went to the little prom together at your middle school? You said it was just as friends, but I’m not so sure now.”

“Okay, it wasn’t as friends. Happy? Now _please_ , Mom, please just stop.” He begged. Something told him if she kept this up he might start crying.

Jinho turned off the burner and looked back at Hongseok, the desperation in his voice taking him by surprise.

“Alright, I’ll stop. There’s no need to be so upset about me talking about him. I’m sure Jinho doesn’t mind. He was just a childhood crush.”

Hongseok just sighed, not sure how to tell his mom that half of what she said was so far from the truth.

“I’ll let you go so you can get back to your quality time with Jinho, goodnight Seokkie.” She said with a kiss before hanging up. Hongseok sat the phone down and buried his face in his hands.

Jinho blinked at him and frowned. 

“Hey, everything okay?” He asked, voice gentle with concern.

“Yes and no.” He answered truthfully.

“How so?” Jinho leaned his elbows on the counter. He was expecting a whole story of an explanation.

“My mom keeps bringing up bad memories, but I can’t worry about them because they’re things that are done and over with that I can’t change. So I’m fine, but I know at some point I have to tell you.” He mumbled. Jinho had to really focus to make out what he said. “I’m sure if I don’t tell you, knowing my luck, something will happen and things will be worse but I’ll still have to tell you.”

“Do you want to tell me now? I promise I’ll listen.” Jinho hummed. “But you don’t have to tell me yet.”

Hongseok looked up at him, eyes admittedly a little watery from the stress.

“If I don’t tell you, I know my mom’s going to keep bringing it up until I spill everything in the middle of family dinner or something. Plus, I don’t know when I’ll have the courage to tell you if I don’t do it now. So... I’ll tell you, so you can help me change the subject.”

“I can try and change the subject whether I know or not, Hongseok.” Jinho raised an eyebrow.

“But... I’m... I want to be selfish and have someone else explain to her why she shouldn’t talk about him for me when it goes too far. I don’t think I’ll be able to.” Hongseok let his shoulders droop. Jinho tilted his head to side and smiled at him sadly.

“So it was something pretty bad then, huh?” Jinho sighed, pulling out one of the chairs at the counter so he could sit across from Hongseok. “That’s why you don’t want to talk about him?”

Hongseok nodded.

“Do you want to wait until after we eat?”

“Yes, please.”

____________

 

“Okay, here goes nothing.” Hongseok sighed, head resting against .Jinho’s crossed legs. The older was sitting behind him on the couch as he sat with his legs splayed out across the carpet. Jinho ran his hands through Hongseok’s hair in an effort to keep him calm. It had grown in so thick, his fingers would occasionally get stuck.

“I knew Hanbin since we were kids. We went to the same elementary school and didn’t live too far from each other. He was... my best friend and for a very long time, my only friend.” Hongseok started. “We were attached at the hip, constantly hanging out or having sleepovers at each other’s houses. We had a whole schedule after school, every other day I would go to his house. The other days were spent at mine.”

“We did everything together and shared everything. We went to middle school together too. Around second year things started to feel weird. Nothing between us changed, but the other kids ostracized us and whispered horrible things behind our backs. Hanbin had other friends he’d made in the classes we didn’t have together and joined the basketball team, so he was pretty well known. The others weren’t as harsh to him. I just kept to myself, though. All of my free time was still spent with him. I’d even beg my parents to let me stay to watch him during basketball practice.”

Jinho thought the story was sort of sweet so far, but he knew it had to turn sour at some point.

“I started having not so platonic thoughts about him. I’d realize I was blushing when he’d smile at me across the classroom or when he was on the court. It felt weird. I’m sure you understand how strange it feels at first.” Hongseok tilted his head back to look at Jinho. He smiled and nodded back at him.

“One night he was sleeping over at my house, I found out he was thinking the same way about me. We had somehow talked about dating girls in our class like it was some forbidden fruit. Neither of us really thought any of the girls were worth going after. Why ask them out if you weren’t interested anyway? Then we got on the topic of kissing. I wanted to know what it was like so badly. Hanbin got really quiet after I’d said that, then he offered to try it with me. God, my face must of been bright red then. I agreed, though. It was the most innocent first kiss I could ever imagine. He kissed me like a kid kisses their mom on the cheek.”

Hongseok buried his face in his hands.

“As the year went on, we got braver. Hanbin looked things up, since I was too embarrassed to. He got really good at kissing. By third year he’d kiss me until I was lightheaded. We were still kids, so we never did anything crazy. The farthest we went was making out on his bed without our shirts on. We went to the middle school’s sad excuse of a dance together. The theme was ‘prom’, which seemed rather redundant, but no one cared enough to complain. We told our parents we were going as friends because we were too scared to ask any girls to go with us.”

Jinho massaged little circles into the nape of Hongseok’s neck.

“I got a scholarship that year to go to high school abroad. Hanbin didn’t want me to go. My parents really wanted me to and I didn’t think I’d have a chance like this again, so I accepted it. We promised to stay loyal even though I’d be overseas for four years. I stayed true to my promise. Even when I had a few girls and guys flirting with me through the years, I turned them away. We kept in touch through texts and video calls.”

His hands fell onto his lap as he took in another long breath.

“He started to change. I didn’t notice it, whether I was just blind or wasn’t willing to accept it. It was hard to see past the hormones sometimes, I admit. I really loved him. The longer I was away, the more I wanted to see him. We got... we... I don’t even know how to put this.”

“Think it over and say it when you’re ready.” Jinho hummed, gently scratching at the back of his head. Hongseok closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

“Well, to be blunt, we got horny.”

“Ah, wasn’t quite expecting that just yet.”

“I found out long distance relationships as a teen are difficult for _many_ reasons.” Hongseok told him, the scratches making him a little drowsy. “We had no idea what we were doing. Once again, I was too embarrassed to try to learn how to do anything, so Hanbin did it. We tried doing things over the phone, but it felt weird. Video calls were risky, but worked better. Thinking back, it was so stupid. Since I thought Hanbin knew more, I did what he told me.”

That never seemed like a good way to start out in Jinho’s opinion, something seemed fishy.

“He got his own apartment a few months before I came back. We made plans for me to stay with him a few days before I went back home. I didn’t tell my parents because I was afraid they’d get suspicious. By the time I arrived, Hanbin had experienced so many things I hadn’t. He wouldn’t admit it, but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t his first... even though he said he’d stayed loyal. He knew how to handle liquor, he’d been to parties, he lived by himself. He had grown up so much since I’d last seen him. His hair was different, his ears were pierced, even his clothes were different. I’m sure I looked pretty different too, I came back tall and well built from working out with friends I had made overseas each day for nearly three years. He picked me up at the airport and drove me back to his place. As soon as we walked through the door, our hands were all over each other.”

“Not seeing someone for a longtime does that to you.” Jinho nodded.

“That night was my first time. I didn’t know what sex was supposed to be like. All I knew was how that night felt with nothing else to use as reference. Hanbin had done all the research, but actually doing something is different from knowing how to do it. The first time was clumsy and uncomfortable. I think it was mostly because of me. Hanbin pulled out all the tricks he’d learned but supposedly never tested. I stayed at his place for nine days. We kept trying until it wasn’t clumsy anymore. At one point he pulled up some pretty crude videos on his laptop for us to use as a guide. I went back home sore, but feeling like my head was in the clouds from finally being able to see the person I loved again. I ended up putting off applying for college for a year so I could get used to being back home. I spent more of that year with Hanbin than with my family. Sometimes I wouldn’t see them for weeks. I’d go to parties with Hanbin, get fucked up and then get pounded into the mattress when we got back to his apartment. I was reckless in the sense that I wasn’t really taking great care of myself. I let Hanbin do whatever he wanted. At some point, he took that as the okay to view me as his property. He was possessive and got hostile withanyone who’d even look my way. I didn’t have friends, at least none I’d made on my own. They were all technically his friends, but even then, I wasn’t allowed to talk to them too much. He got jealous when I talked to other guys at parties. If I did something he didn’t like, he’d only get rougher in bed.”

“Hongseok...”

“It got really bad, but I didn’t even realize. It only got worse when I started college. I moved into a dorm with Changgu and Yan An and started the semester while still doing everything I did before. Those two became my friends pretty quickly. Hanbin hated them. He hated them because they took my time away from him. Somehow he managed to pull me away from them every time. They started noticing the way Hanbin acted, how possessive and controlling he was. They didn’t really point it out too seriously until I started losing a lot of weight. I wasn’t sleeping well since Hanbin was keeping me up most nights and wearing me down. The busy class schedule on top of spending all of my time with him was eating me alive. When they pointed out what was going on, I didn’t really believe it, but it stuck with me. Time with Hanbin seemed to move excruciatingly slow after that. I started noticing little things I hadn’t before, like the way he talked to me when others were around, how I felt more sore than satisfied after sex, how he got mad when I chose to spend time with any one else, even my own family, or if I needed to stay after class to ask my professor a question. Whenever I tried to bring it up, he’d shut me up with kisses and a hand down my pants.”

Jinho bent over and kissed the top of Hongseok’s head, heart aching.

“I was wasting away. Changgu and Yan An told me to stop seeing Hanbin because being with him was going to kill me. My family was getting concerned that my health was deteriorating because of college. They didn’t know I was dating him. Even my professors started asking me if everything was alright with genuine concern. They thought it was just trouble at home. I broke down in the middle of a fast food place when my roommates told me everything that they’d noticed. It all sunk in, all at once, and it broke me. But I kept letting him in. I kept being submissive and crawled back to him whenever he called until one night I couldn’t do it anymore. One night he fucked me so hard I could barely stand up. I couldn’t do it any more. Once my legs felt sturdy enough to run, I told him I didn’t love him and that I was done. He laughed at me then. He didn’t believe me. So I grabbed my things, called Yan An to pick me up, and left. If it wasn’t for him and Changgu, I would have gone right back to him the next night. They helped me stay away. It was so, so hard. I don’t even know why I kept wanting to go back when it was so awful being with him. He started calling me and harassing me over the phone and online, so I changed my number and deleted all my social media. I called campus security or the police whenever he’d show up at the dorm or the school. I started over. Yan An even helped me dye my hair, just to try and change everything I could. I dyed it gray. I don’t know why I chose that color, I just wanted something unexpected.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jinho whispered when he felt Hongseok’s shoulders trembling against his knees. “Take your time.”

He wiped at his eyes, internally beating himself up for crying over this after so long.

“After a year he either moved on or stopped trying to find me. I don’t know why I felt so empty without him. I tried everything, distractions, drinking, dating, none of it helped. At one of my lowest points, Changgu pulled me back up on my feet and I fell for him. I was desperate for something, anything. That’s how I ended up dating him for a while. He made me happy, but we were too similar, it didn’t really work out. We were better friends than lovers. I cycled through guy after guy for two years, none of them lasting over a month. Things always seemed the worst on my birthday. For two whole years, that was a day I’d spend with Hanbin. A full twenty four hours. Kissing and cuddling and fucking our brains out. Back in middle school it was more innocent. When I was overseas, it was just as lewd, but with an ocean in between. It went from a day full of love to a day full of regret and disgust. Once I’d left him, I’d go out and get so drunk I wouldn’t be able to remember anything that happened the next day. A shopkeeper found me passed out in front of her store one year when she had walked out to lock up for the night. She called Changgu at random and stayed with me until he came to pick me up. That’s why I was so against parties and celebrating my birthday.”

“I’m sorry for forcing you to come over...”

“No, I needed that. I’d been wallowing in that mindset for three years, I needed to stop doing that.” Hongseok shook his head. “When I met you, I couldn’t feel that hole he’d left in me anymore. Meeting you got rid of tha emptiness.”

Jinho stared down at him as Hongseok brought his hands up to cup Jinho’s cheeks.

“You gave me the best birthday I’ve ever had and you gave me your heart.” Hongseok exhaled shakily. “You gave me everything, but it’s still so hard to think about him and what he did.”

“I’m sure that’s hard to forget.” Jinho sighed. 

Hongseok nodded, lips quivering. It made Jinho’s heart ache. He slid his hand up to Hongseok’s cheeks, mirroring the younger. He wiped away a couple stray tears that had rolled onto his cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” He choked out.

“It’s okay, you weren’t ready until now. I can’t get mad if you’re not up to telling me all of this. It’s probably painful to replay it all in your head just to tell me. But you did it eventually, that’s what matters in the end, right?” Jinho reassured him. Hongseok searched his features with watery eyes, all warmth and rounded edges.

“You’re nothing like him. You’re so gentle compared to him. So... soft and kind. Dating him is like... it’s like... chugging Fireball and swallowing shards of glass at the same time. He’s the personification of poison. Being with him was as good as being dead. But you... you’re just-just... big stuffed animals and sweet homemade pancakes with hot chocolate and whipped cream.” 

The contrast pulled a soft chuckle out of Jinho. He bent down and pecked his lover on the forehead. Hongseok’s eyes scrunched shut and his lips drew back as he fought to hold back tears.

“I’m honored you think so highly of me to compare me to pancakes.”

A featherlight kiss on the tip of his nose forced one eye to crack open. Jinho smiled down at him, eyes filled with love and warmth and something Hongseok chose to call protective and safe. A gasp left Hongseok’s throat and he gritted his teeth. A few more tears escaped before he could keep it together enough to form words.

“Jinho..” He couldn’t care less how unsteady his words were as they left his lips.

“Hm?” Jinho hummed in reply.

“Can... can you take care of me? Just... for tonight?” He was being vague, he knew that. But he just wanted Jinho, his affection, his attention, his arms around him and his hand in his hair. “Be gentle with me and make me feel so, so, so loved.”

“I’ll do whatever you ask me to.” Jinho told him. 

Hongseok hiccuped as he turned in Jinho’s grasp, he crawled up into his lap and kissed him. Jinho went along, curling his arms around his waist and kissing him back, soft and sweet like the breakfast food he’d just been compared to. Hongseok’s cheeks were sticky from the tears that had started to dry there. Jinho kisses them away as more continued to roll down. Hongseok pulled away, shaking his head, choking out another quiet sob as he rubbed at his eyes. Jinho carefully pulled him back in, resuming the kiss. His lover’s eyes scrunched shut, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. When they parted, the older texted Hyunggu, kindly asking him to stay at Yuto’s for the night.

 

Jinho did everything Hongseok asked. He was gentle with everything he did, his words, his touches, his kisses. When Hongseok had pulled him by the hand back to the bedroom, Jinho pampered him and praised him and did everything he could to make him feel good. Teeth scratched but didn’t mark. He made sure he was only as rough as Hongseok asked him to be. There were still tears in his eyes when Jinho watched him catch his breath. He cleaned him up and kissed him all over, no questions asked. They laid tangled together as Jinho hummed and whispered sweet things into Hongseok’s hair. 

He scrubbed his back and washed his hair as they sat on the floor in the bathroom, careful not to spray water in his eyes. Jinho helped him into clean clothes and wrapped him in the softest, warmest blanket they had, rubbing his hair dry with a thick towel before moving to dry his own. Hongseok stayed huddled close as the towel flapped around over wet brunet hair. The taller trailed behind him as he padded through the apartment to the kitchen. Mugs clinked on the counter as milk was poured into a pot and placed on the stove. Chocolate syrup, powdered milk, cinnamon and whip cream joined the mugs. He made two hot chocolates topped with small hills of cream and curled up against him on the couch to watch heartwarming movies without major romantic plots until 2:00am. Jinho kept Hongseok’s hand locked in his as he brushed his thumb over his knuckles, whispering little I love you’s through the night.

The shorter even sang him to sleep as Hongseok rested his head in his lap. 

When the younger woke up, Jinho asked if he wanted pancakes. Save for the occasional soft “Jinho”, Hongseok had been quiet since he’d told him everything. After getting a soft yes, he pulled Hongseok to the kitchen, still bundled in the blanket and hair all messy. Jinho poured him a glass of water and sat him at the counter before getting to work. He flipped on the hot water kettle Hyunggu had recently bought, pulling out two clean mugs for tea. Two sachets of chai tea found their way into the mugs. Jinho hummed the song Hongseok had sang for him months ago as he moved to make the batter. It didn’t take too long, making them for Hyunggu when they were kids nearly every weekend had burned the recipe into his brain. Big dots of batter were being poured into the pan before he’d finished the song. He plopped the last one onto a plate just as the kettle beeped. 

“Do you want the usual pancake toppings?” He asked as he poured the water over the tea bags. 

“Yes, please.” Hongseok mumbled through the fuzzy blanket.

Jinho sat one mug in front of him on the counter and turned back to the cabinets, pulling out the syrup and digging the butter back out of the fridge. Humming another tune, he divided up the pancakes and brought them to the counter. Hongseok gave him a breathy thank you before snaking an arm out from under the blanket to reach for the syrup. 

They finished up in a comfortable silence. Jinho put all the dishes in the sink and guided Hongseok back to the bathroom. Gently, he sat Hongseok down on the little plastic stool they kept in there and grabbed all of his skin care products from the cabinet. Some of them clattered into the sink as he placed them on the counter. Humming a soft tune once again, he lined them all up in order and wet a wash cloth. He sat on the closed toilet and tilted Hongseok’s chin up, pushing his short bangs away from his face with a stretchy, terry cloth headband. Hongseok obediently let Jinho wash his face, scrubbing gentle circles into his cheeks and forehead. He scrunched his eyes shut as the elder did his best to rinse away the soap. Jinho did the full routine, even the steps he was always too lazy to do himself. When he was done, he kissed the top of Hongseok’s head and eased the headband off.

Something about the way he leaned back a bit and smiled down at him with nothing but love sent Hongseok’s heart fluttering. Slowly, he wrapped a hand around Jinho’s wrist, his hand still gripping the headband. Despite their morning breath mingled with the taste of the tea, Hongseok pulled him down for a kiss, a thank you he’d rather show than tell.

 

____________

 

Jinho stared at the wall in silence. Hongseok had left a few hours ago, leaving him alone in the apartment. He’d been thankful but embarrassed for everything Jinho had done. They’d been domestic before, but this time was a few steps above and both men felt flustered looking back at it already. Hongseok could barely meet Jinho’s eyes as he said his farewells.

The story about Hanbin still rested heavy in the pit of Jinho’s stomach as he loosened and tightened his grip on his mug of coffee unconsciously. Hongseok had some... unexpected, yet awful baggage. While he knew it was probably best to continue to act as he always had to Hongseok, he couldn’t help but worry if he’d overstepped any boundaries he hadn’t known existed. 

“Knock, Knock! Please don’t be naked!” Hyunggu announced as he opened the front door. He blinked at Jinho in surprise when he saw him looking sullen and deep in thought in his spot on the couch, no Hongseok in sight. He kicked off his slip-on sneakers and took a few more steps into the apartment. Still no reaction from his roommate. He sat down his things at the kitchen counter and walked over to the couch.

“Hey, Jinho? You okay there?” He asked, voice quieter than when he entered. Watching Jinho pull himself back from the void wasn’t something Hyunggu got to see everyday. As the older came to his senses, he looked up at Hyunggu, a subtle surprise plastered all over his face.

“When did you get home?” He asked, eyebrows knitted together. Hyunggu stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Just now. I literally yelled when I walked in the door.” He answered. Jinho looked away, almost out of shame.

“Sorry, I was thinking about something.” He apologized.

“That’s okay, you must have been thinking really hard.” Hyunggu said it was okay, but he didn’t really feel like it was. “Where’s Hongseok? It’s only two, I figured he’d still be here.”

“He went home a while ago.” Jinho told him, taking a sip of his coffee. He scrunched up his face as the lukewarm drink hit his tongue. Nothing was worse that room temperature coffee. 

“Did... you two fight?” Hyunggu asked, voice low like he was afraid to say it out loud. “I thought from your text that you two were just... horny... or something.”

“No, we didn’t fight.” Jinho shook his head. “Hongseok was just... having a really rough time last night.”

“Is everything okay?” Hyunggu sat down next to the brunet on the couch.

“It is now, but things weren’t okay for Hongseok a couple years ago.” Jinho sighed. Hyunggu frowned, confused.

“What do you mean?” He cocked his head to the side, waiting for an explanation.

“He told me about something... really serious last night and I don’t really know who he’s comfortable sharing it with. It took a lot of courage just for him to tell me.” Jinho admitted. He sat the nearly full mug on the coffee table.

“Oh... I understand.” Hyunggu looked down at his hands.

“But I don’t really know what to do with the information now that I have it.” He mumbled.

“You know I won’t say anything if it’s something that serious.” Hyunggu reminded him. “If it’s something so heavy, you need to talk about it just to figure out how to deal with even knowing it, I’ll listen.”

“I think... I think I need you to do just that.” Jinho breathed with a slow nod. “But, for Hongseok’s sake, I’m going to be as vague about it as possible.”

“That’s reasonable.” Hyunggu quietly agreed. 

Jinho took a deep breath as he tried to figure out where to start.

“He... told me... that he was in a relationship for a very long time. It started out well, but turned... toxic near the end.” He saw a hand fly up to Hyunggu’s mouth out of the corner of his eye. “His parents don’t know about it, and his mom constantly talks about his ex. Of course, that just brings back all those bad memories.”

“Poor Hongseokkie...” Hyunggu whispered behind his fingers.

“Changgu and Yan An helped him get out of it, but it still just... left him fucked up over the whole ordeal. Now just hearing the name makes all the color drain from his face, I saw it happen. Right in front of me.”

Hyunggu placed his free hand on Jinho’s thigh, a gentle, warm reassurance.

“He asked me to go home with him for Chuseok and I agreed.”

The younger made a quiet, confused noise at that sudden change in subject, but let Jinho continue.

“His mom keeps asking about the ex over the phone and Hongseok literally begs her to stop. It’s just going to be worse when he’s in the same room with her, so he wanted someone to help change the topic. He told me it would be better if I knew why he wanted to change the topic so badly, so that’s why he told me.” 

He turned his head to face Hyunggu.

“But I don’t know what to do now that I know.”

The younger’s eyes softened with sympathy.

“Do I treat him like I always have? Do I have to walk on eggshells around him now that I know? Have I done something wrong and not known? Did I accidentally trigger him or make him think about it before now?” His words became a bit frantic before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Calm down.” Hyunggu told him, voice mirroring the softness in his eyes. “Treat him the same. If you start acting like he’s made of glass now, it’ll probably just make him feel worse. Don’t necessarily act like he never told you, but don’t baby him either. If he needs you to treat him more carefully, I’m sure he’d let you know.”

Jinho’s eyes turned sad.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Hyunggu pulled back, concerned over his friend’s change in expression.

“Hyunggu... he was so upset after he told me last night... that’s why I texted you to stay at Yuto’s. He looked me dead in the eyes with tears running down his face and _begged_ me to take care of him.”

“Because that must have been what he needed then.” Hyunggu felt a pang of sympathy in his chest picturing Hongseok begging for that sort of affection. “...did you?”

Jinho nodded, cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. 

“Good. It would have been downright cruel to refuse a handsome crying man when he’s asking to be loved.” Hyunggu huffed, crossing his arms. Jinho puffed out the quietest little laugh in return. Hyunggu lowered his arms again and smiled. “You did the right thing. Plus, he trusts you enough to tell you all of that. He knew things might be weird or different afterwards, but they don’t have to be that different. Pay attention to things he says a little more, or maybe how he acts. If something seems off, check on him, but don’t be pushy. Just remind him you’re there for him and if he needs you, all he has to do is ask.”

“Thank you, Hyunggu.” Jinho softly smiled back.

____________

 

Chuseok came faster than expected. Jinho told his parents he was going to celebrate with friends who couldn’t travel home for the holidays. They didn’t protest, seeming happy enough that Jinho was still celebrating with loved ones of some sort rather than alone. 

Hongseok drove them all the way to his hometown, refusing his mother’s offer to come pick them up. The trip was long, but not unbearable. The closer they got to Hongseok’s home, the more nervous Jinho felt about meeting the rest of his family. It was clear his mother loved Jinho, and his brother seemed excited to meet him, but he knew nothing about his dad or other family members. It was hard to guess what they’d be like.

“Before I forget,” Hongseok spoke up as they zoomed down a long stretch of highway. “You’re our guest, if things get uncomfortable for you at any point, let me know. You don’t have to stay in the same room as everyone if it’s overwhelming, you can always go to my room or hang around outside.”

“Outside? Do you have a house? Not an apartment, but an actual house?” Jinho blinked in surprise.

“My dad has a really good job, so we were able to afford a small house big enough for four people. It’s sort of far from his office, but it’s quiet and all of our neighbors are elderly folk or young parents.” Hongseok explained. “It’s in an older part of town where they still have an old temple and some statues scattered around the streets.”

“We just live above my parents’ restaurant...” Jinho replied. “Having a yard of any sort seems so... unreal.” 

“We got really lucky too. The old lady who had lived there before had given us a really good deal. She was moving into a place meant for people who can’t live on their own anymore and needed to sell the house quickly to afford the costs of moving, so she sold it to us for a lower price.”

“Maybe I’ll get that lucky one day.” Jinho laughed. Hongseok went quiet. The silence tugged at Jinho’s heart in a weird way.

 

When they finally arrived, it was nearly dark. Dim yellow lights were already glowing from lamps on the streets and from the windows of the houses. A few children ran by as Jinho was pulling his things out of the trunk. He peered around the car and caught Hongseok staring at the house, car keys still in his hand. His eyes held a glint of melancholy towards the old building. Maybe it was the memories he had here, or maybe it was the questions he knew were waiting for him inside. 

Jinho shut the trunk and slung his bag over his shoulder. Slowly, he trudged towards Hongseok. He reached out and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, a wordless little “I’m here if you need me“. Hongseok returned it with a soft smile and a squeeze of his own.

“I’ve never introduced any of my boyfriends to my family before.” He quietly admitted, words nearly swallowed up by the cool, early evening air. “But none of them have really been good enough people for me to do so.”

“I’m honored I get to be the first then.” Jinho giggled, cheeks dusted with pink.

_And I hope you’re the last_ , Hongseok thought to himself. It was probably too soon to say the words out loud, but he couldn’t see being with anyone after Jinho. He hoped there wouldn’t have to be an after.

“C’mon, let’s go. I shouldn’t have slept through our last pit stop because my bladder is going to explode.” Jinho told him with a tug of his hand and a big cheesy grin.

Hongseok was terribly, hopelessly, _absolutely_ in love.

He let himself be pulled up to the front door before he dug around for his keys, just in case his parents forgot to leave the door unlocked for him. Testing the handle, he let out a sigh of relief when he found it unlocked. He really didn’t want to make a fool of himself fighting with the lock on the front door in front of Jinho. He pulled Jinho into the house behind him and sat his bag down.

“Hongseok? Is that you, honey?” The voice of Hongseok’s mom called from somewhere farther into the house.

“It’s me, mom.” He called back as he untied his shoes. Jinho bent down to do the same.

“Did you bring your boyfriend?” She called out.

“ _Yes_ , Jinho’s here too.” He yelled, placing his shoes on an empty shelf on the shoe rack in the entryway. Jinho placed his noticeably smaller sneakers next to them. 

Mrs. Yang came skittering into the hall in her slippers, bright smile stretched across her face. That’s where Hongseok gets it from. Jinho quickly bowed his head and said hello. She gave both of them a big hug as she greeted them.

“I’m so glad you made it home safe.” She said as she gave Hongseok’s cheek a quick peck. “And Jinho, sweetie, make yourself at home. Our home is your home for Chuseok. If you need anything at all, just let me know, alright?”

“Will do. Thank you for having me.” Jinho smiled. Hongseok’s mother cooed and cupped her hand around Jinho’s cheek.

“You are just the cutest little thing.” She cried. Jinho chuckled, trying to ignore the growing blush on his cheeks.

“Is anyone else already here?” Hongseok asked her, looking down the hall to where he thought he could hear faint chatter.

“Junseok and his wife and daughter arrived earlier. They just put little Hyejin down to bed a while ago and are finishing up their dinner. Also, your dad is at your grandparents’ house. He’s going to drive them over tomorrow.” She told him, reluctantly pulling away from Jinho. “There’s still plenty left over from dinner if you two are hungry.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Jinho quickly replied, not at all oblivious to how empty his stomach felt. “But first I want to set my things down, this bag is kind of heavy. Should I put them in Hongseok’s room for now?”

“Go right ahead. Can you show him where it is, honey? I’ll go set your plates for you.” She patted Hongseok on the shoulder and disappeared back to the kitchen.

“I’ll show you where the bathroom is too.” Hongseok whispered back at him.

“Thank _god_.” Jinho groaned.

____________

 

“So how did you two meet?” Junseok’s wife asked sweetly, hands cradling her chin as she rested her elbows on the table. She was incredibly pretty, Jinho had to admit. Her eyes always seemed to sparkle when she spoke or when she looked at her husband.

“He accidentally stole my shirt at the laundromat.” Hongseok laughed. “He was wearing it when I met him there a month later.”

“It was really comfy okay.” Jinho pouted playfully before joining in the laughter. “I promised I’d wash it and return it to him.”

“We exchanged numbers then, right?” Hongseok asked him, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, we did. And I put a shirt emoji next to your name in my phone then.” Jinho hummed, remembering it fondly.

“Ooh, because you had to return his shirt.” Junseok nodded.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to forget.”

“But he’s basically stolen it again.” Hongseok rolled his eyes with a smirk at Jinho.

“I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do when you consistently leave it at my apartment.” Jinho shrugged. “It’s so frequent, I’m pretty sure you’re doing it on purpose.”

“I’m sure any of his shirts just about swallow you whole!” Mrs. Yang chuckled.

“They do and it’s adorable.” Hongseok agreed. Jinho couldn’t help but get a little flustered.

“You two are so cute.” Junseok’s wife giggled behind a hand.

“I agree with Ari.” Junseok smiled wide, looking between the two. “I’ve never seen Hongseok so genuinely happy.”

“Ari? Is that a new nickname?” Hongseok asked with a blush.

“He’s called me that for a long time.” She answered. “How long have you two been together now?”

“Since graduation so... what? Around five months?” Jinho mused.

“Getting close to six now.” Hongseok added.

“Well happy early six months anniversary!” Ari cutely congratulated, clasping her hands together.

“Ah, thank you.” Jinho stammered, bowing his head.

“And what about you two? Isn’t it close to your three year wedding anniversary?” Hongseok said, smoothly changing the topic.

“It is, isn’t it?” Junseok smiled fondly at his wife. 

“Doing anything special?” Mrs. Yang asked, smiling mischievously.

“There’s a little festival happening in a park close to our apartment around then. We were going to take Hyejin there to let her see all the lights.” Ari said, placing a hand on Junseok’s arm.

“But you don’t have any special plans just for you two?” Mrs. Yang frowned. “You know I’m available to watch Hyejin whenever you need me to if you both want a break.”

“You remind us nearly every other day, mother.” Junseok sighed, smile still on his lips. “But we want seeing Hyejin’s eyes going big when she sees all the lights to be our anniversary gift. We can do something alone next year.”

“If you’re sure...” She pouted.

“I think you just want Hyejin for yourself, mom.” Hongseok snickered.

“Shh! You’ll give me away!” She laughed, weakly smacking his arm.

Junseok just shook his head. Ari yawned beside him.

“I think we should be heading to bed, I’m worn out from the ride here and that home cooked meal made me sleepy.” She leaned her head on Junseok’s shoulder and stuck out her lower lip, big round eyes looking up at him. 

“I guess we better go to bed then.” Junseok rolled his eyes again.

“Sleep sounds like a good idea... I had an early shift at work today.” Hongseok agreed with a stretch.

“And you drove us here.” Jinho pointed out.

“All of you go on then, I’ll clean up in here and go to bed too.” Mrs. Yang said, already shooing them out of the kitchen.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Jinho turned back to her.

“No, no. You can all help me clean up after we eat tomorrow. There will be way more dishes then. This is nothing.” She shook her head. “Go on to sleep.”

Reluctantly, they all stood from their chairs, said their goodnights, and filed out of the kitchen. Junseok and Ari gave out generous hugs to both of them before they escaped to the guest bedroom. Jinho felt Hongseok’s hands slid into his as he was pulled into the next room. As soon as he shut the door, Hongseok cupped his hands around Jinho’s cheeks and kissed him deeply.

Jinho blinked in bewilderment when he pulled away. 

“What was that for?” He mumbled in confusion, face beet red.

“Just because.” Hongseok smiled. “And I’m absolutely ecstatic my family loves you just as much as I do.”

Jinho’s heart melted.

____________

 

“That’s so domestic.” Hongseok laughed as he walked into the kitchen, still donning his pajamas. He wasn’t the only one. Junseok and his wife were both sitting at the kitchen table in matching blue striped pajamas with Hyejin giggling in a high chair between them. She was eating Cheerios from a bowl, though the majority seemed to have been sacrificed to the floor. She had another bowl with little cubes of fruit next to the Cheerios, but they must not have been nearly as important to the bubbly one-year-old as the cereal.

Jinho peeked around Hongseok in the doorway. What they were eating smelled so good he pleaded for his stomach not to growl loud enough for them to hear. He’d been living off of cereal, snack sausages and stale granola bars for breakfast for so long he forgot what a traditional breakfast even was.

“You’re one to talk.” Junseok shot back over a spoon full of oi naengguk. “Isn’t Jinho wearing your old high school sweatshirt?”

Jinho snapped his head up and back down at his shirt. Hongseok looked over his shoulder at him and then back at Junseok.

“Touché.”

“Why don’t you two sit down? There’s plenty more of all this in the fridge.” Ari said as she put a few stray Cheerios back into the bowl. “Mother made enough to feed a small army and I made an extra gaeran mari that I don’t have room to eat.”

“As a college student, it’s illegal to turn down food.” Hongseok stated. Junseok shot him a single, knowing finger gun since his mouth was full. He wandered over to the fridge and gasped when he opened it. “You weren’t lying. I haven’t seen it this full since I was in middle school.”

“Right?!” Junseok mumbled around his food. Ari shook her head at him.

One by one, Hongseok reheated the leftovers, pulling a few bowls out of the cabinets.

“You okay with sharing most of this? I don’t want to dirty a bunch of dishes.” He asked Jinho.

“I don’t mind.” Jinho hummed, leaning his forehead against his broad back.

“Cool, then help me carry these.” Hongseok said, turning around so fast Jinho almost lost his balance. He gathered himself enough to take the bowls he was being handed to the table. The taller followed behind him after putting the extras back into the fridge. 

Once Mrs. Yang was awake, things became a blur.

 

 

Preparation along with the celebration itself went by in a whirlwind of food, chatter, and at some point roaring laughter as Hongseok dramatically, but accidentally, spilled soup on himself.

Hongseok’s dad had been slightly awkward around Jinho, but it was more of a “this is new and I don’t know how to be the Best Dad in this situation” sort of awkward not an “I don’t approve of this relationship” awkward. Hongseok’s mom at some point told Jinho just to refer to her as mom and not Mrs. Yang and neither he nor Hongseok completely recovered from how direct she was. Junseok was all too happy to play along and started referring to Jinho as his brother in law. Jinho might have blacked out for a few seconds the first time he said it. Hongseok’s grandparents didn’t completely understand what was going on with him and Jinho, regardless of how many times the term “boyfriend” was used throughout the night. They just took it as the male version of when girls call other girls they are close with their girlfriends. Ah, to be old and confused. Fortunately, they still treated him like he was just part of the family. A happy, loud chaotic family. 

It was refreshing.

 

“Today was so different than how I usually spend Chuseok.” Jinho hummed as he buried his face into Hongseok’s neck while the younger scratched slow circles into his scalp. They were tangled together in Hongseok’s bed, clock on the wall reading well past two in the morning. Jinho liked Hongseok’s bed. It was cozy and soft and the mattress was resting on a short platform on the floor. He didn’t have to worry about falling out of bed or struggling to climb into it if he was too stuffed full of food.

“Good different or bad different?” Hongseok asked, voice quiet and sweet.

“Good different. I already told you my family usually spends the holiday feeding people who don’t have family or can’t afford a big holiday meal at the restaurant. It’s always just me, my sisters and my parents cooking and waiting on strangers. It’s not bad, I enjoy how happy everyone is eating our food, but I missed out on celebrating like this. It’s never been just with family.” Jinho explained.

“You have sisters?”

Jinho nodded, eyes fluttering closed.

“Mm, two. One of them is in school to be a cosmetologist and the other works full time at the restaurant since she’s not sure what she wants to do.”

“You’ve never mentioned them before.” Hongseok said, a sad tone to his voice.

“We don’t talk much anymore.” Jinho admitted. “The one who works at the restaurant thought I was abandoning mom and dad for not going to a closer school or living at home. She stopped harassing me about it once they hired a part timer and now she hasn’t said anything to me since. The other one is just really busy. She got a job being a stylist for a new idol group, so that means she’s always traveling. She doesn’t get paid much, so she can’t afford to take any days off or to travel home often. It keeps her stressed and it’s usually best to not bother her.”

“Ah... I’ve never had to deal with that sort of thing.” Hongseok replied, thoughtfully. “My brother and I are still pretty close. At least, close as we can be when he’s got a rampaging one-year-old to look after. I can’t imagine how hard it is to not be on the best terms with your siblings.”

“It doesn’t bother me that much. I know I’ll still see them on most holidays.” Jinho mumbled. “Plus, life’s been crazy because of school and now being a TA that I don’t think about it much.”

Hongseok nodded against his head, no words coming to mind as his lids grew heavy.

“Thanks for inviting me.” Jinho said with a small yawn. 

“Thank you for coming.” Hongseok answered. Jinho felt him yawn too, it was contagious.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

____________

 

Jinho scrunched up his nose and pulled away. Hongseok tilted his head in confusion. Jinho was sitting between his legs, sheets still draped over his shoulders. The sun was already shining in through the window. It had to already be early into the afternoon, but they hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.

“Morning breath.” Jinho said with a smile.

“Ah, sorry.” Hongseok chuckled, letting his eyes fall to the bed.

“I’ll get over it.” Jinho mumbled as he took the younger’s face in his hands and leaned back into the kiss. Hongseok didn’t protest, slowly wrapping his arms around his neck. 

It was a lazy kiss, not too soft but not too hungry. They were still half asleep after all. There was just something about the way Hongseok’s hair is just the perfect length to stick up at goofy angles after a good night’s rest that made Jinho want to kiss him silly. 

However, Hongseok gently guided the kiss into more dangerous territory, turning into subtle lip bites and open mouths. Jinho placed a hand on either side of Hongseok’s waist to support himself while he was pulled forwards as the taller leaned back against the pillows. The corners of his mouth twitched up when Hongseok’s breath hitched from Jinho’s hands sliding up his shirt. He let his fingers brush up his sides and down his front, relishing the flex of Hongseok’s muscles under his touch.

Feeling brave, he gently pushed Hongseok’s legs a few more centimeters apart. They moved with little resistance as all of Hongseok’s focus was in how hard he could kiss Jinho back and not what his limbs were doing. Jinho grinded down against him, making Hongseok groan into the kiss. His grip on Jinho’s hair tightened.

_Knock, Knock!_

They pulled apart at lightning speed and whipped their heads towards the bedroom door in fear. Jinho sat back on his heels and Hongseok propped himself up on his elbows before they heard Mrs. Yang’s voice through the door.

“It’s almost two in the afternoon! You two already missed breakfast, so I suggest you get your lazy butts out of bed if you don’t want to miss lunch too! We’ve waited as long as we can!” She called, never once making the effort to open the door. With that, she walked back down the hall.

“I think I would have pissed myself if your mom walked in on us.” Jinho groaned in a low voice, letting his head hang in relief.

“First off, you better not because you were on top of me.” Hongseok scoffed, lightly shoving Jinho’s shoulder. “But it’s probably for the best we were interrupted. I don’t keep any of the things we need here.”

Jinho looked up, his cheeks flushed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right... I didn’t bring anything either.”

“Pfft. So you had the decency to not intend to fuck me with my parents around. How thoughtful.” Hongseok snickered.

“I don’t know, with the way you were kissing me just a moment ago I was considering it.” Jinho grinned. Hongseok pushed him off the bed.

“Go brush your teeth, your breath stinks.” He told him, pulling the covers back up around his neck and rolling over to face the wall.

“You jerk!” Jinho gasped. “Are you just gonna go back to sleep?”

“I’m just going to sleep until you’re done in the bathroom.” He answered.

Jinho squinted his eyes at his boyfriend and pursed his lips.

“I see how it is.” He grumbled and pushed himself onto his feet. “I won’t wake you up when I’m done.” He grabbed a fresh change of clothes, his toothbrush and face wash from his bag on his way out of the room. He scampered into the bathroom, hoping to avoid anyone possibly lingering in the hallway. Thankfully, he made it without being spotted. He was admittedly still a little _excited_ and absolutely did not want to risk the possibility of popping a boner in front of Hongseok’s family. He’d never be able to speak to them again.

____________

 

“J-Jinho! You’re back!” Yuto yelped in an awkward greeting, nervously looking between the man standing in shock in the doorway to the kitchen and up at Hyunggu who was still straddling his waist. He crossed and folded his legs, desperately trying to hide the obvious tent in his sweatpants. Hyunggu swiveled around with a bright blush on his face. 

“I... interrupted. Didn’t I?” Jinho asked, staring at the two messy haired men on the couch. At least they were still mostly clothed. Except... Yuto appeared to be missing his shirt as he was now covering his exposed chest with his arms. Jinho had no idea he was so ripped. Hyunggu looked down at a furiously blushing Yuto and back to Jinho.

“Could-could you uh, got to your room... for like... ten minutes?” Hyunggu stammered. “Maybe turn on some loud music or something?”

“Hyunggu I-I don’t think I can do anything now that he’s back and seen us like this.” Yuto looked like he was about to cry from the embarrassment.

“I can definitely go blast some Police for half an hour and pretend I don’t know exactly what you two are doing.” Jinho nodded, already turning towards his room.

“We won’t do it on the couch!” Hyunggu quickly said. “I-I just didn’t want you to see us run to my room in shame...”

“Thank god, I’d never be able to sit there again.” Jinho sighed. “Uh, stay safe, lemme know when you guys are done, take however long you need.” He scrambled into his room, closing his door behind him as soon as he was inside.

Quickly, he turned on his Bluetooth speaker, plugged his phone into it and put his Britpop playlist on shuffle at the highest volume he could without blowing out his eardrums.

 

Hyunggu hesitantly knocked on his door almost forty five minutes later. Jinho opened it to see an embarrassed, wet haired Hyunggu standing on the other side. His hair was shorter than it was before Chuseok, his bangs stuck out at wacky angles.

“Sorry for... not warning you.” He said, looking down at his slippers. “I didn’t know you’d be back this early...”

“It’s bound to happen sometimes, right?” Jinho shook his head, remembering the day Hyunggu discovered him and Hongseok. It might not have been in the act, but it was after, which is still pretty bad, right? “I just feel bad for Yuto.”

“Oh, he’s still as red as a tomato.” Hyunggu awkwardly chuckled. “But he’s back out in the living room. He won’t uncocoon himself from he blankets.”

“I don’t blame him.” Jinho replied. “Not to be rude, but I’m really hungry. Can I leave my room now to grab some food?”

“Oh, Yeah, Sorry!” He gasped and stepped out of the way. Jinho flicked off his light and padded into the hall. “There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you want it.”

“I stuck some leftover’s Hongseok’s mom gave me in there before I walked in on you two, so I’ll probably eat those.” Jinho said as Hyunggu followed him down the hall. “But If there’s still some leftover later, I won’t say no.”

“All yours.” Hyunggu laughed. They both saw Yuto jump as they walked into the living room. Hyunggu wasn’t lying, Yuto was just a giant mass of fuzzy blankets. Now that he wasn’t in a compromising position, Jinho noticed the light brown highlights in his damp, wavy hair.

“Please forget everything you saw earlier.” He begged as soon as Jinho was in earshot. 

“You don’t have to ask me, I’m already trying to forget it.” Jinho waved him off. “When did you change your hair?”

Yuto’s eyes went wide and he reached a hand up to his head.

“The color?” Jinho clarified.

“We went to the salon over break.” Hyunggu explained. “We went yesterday actually since it was closed until then. His hair was getting so long he couldn’t see, so we both went for a trim. The stylist loved Yuto’s hair and went on and on about how good he’d look with highlights.”

“She held up little color samples next to my head and Hyunggu really liked this one...” Yuto blushed.

“We ended up convincing him to go for it. Didn’t it turn out nice?” Hyunggu beamed.

“It looks good even when your hair’s messy, I’d say you made a good decision.” Jinho nodded. “I was just so used to your hair being black.”

“Ah, thank you.” He rubbed his cheek, flustered from the compliment.

“It looks a lot better dry.” Hyunggu added. “I’ve never seen his hair anything but black either.”

“It hasn’t always been black.” Yuto quietly defended.

“It hasn’t?” Hyunggu asked, surprise evident on his face.

“Wooseok uh, talked me into dying it blue after we graduated high school.”

“You had _blue_ hair!? And never showed me pictures!?” Hyunggu all but wailed. Yuto cowered back into the blanket cocoon.

“I didn’t have it for long since we did it ourselves and it damaged my hair kinda bad, but I took a couple photos. Wooseok had green hair because he wanted to look like Zoro. We couldn’t both be Zoro, so I ended up losing Rock Paper Scissors and had to choose blue instead.” He babbled on. 

Jinho’s growling stomach interrupted him. They all turned to him in surprise.

“Go get some food.” Hyunggu laughed. Then he turned back to Yuto. “Try to find pictures while Jinho’s foraging.”

“I-he what? Foraging?” Yuto looked bewildered.

“Getting food. Usually what you see animals doing when they gather food for the winter. Or like a bird _foraging_ for berries. Foraging.” Hyunggu said slower, tone soft. Jinho looked between them with a raised eyebrow. 

“Ah. That’s a new one.” Yuto nodded. “Foraging.” He repeated it to himself to try and commit it to memory. He pulled his phone out of the blankets and started scrolling through his photos.

____________

 

“How was Chuseok?” Changgu asked as Hongseok plopped down on the couch beside him and Yan An.

“Well.” He started, rolling his head on the back of the couch to look at his roommates. “Jinho has been completely adopted into the family. My mom told him to just call her mother. My brother and his wife are already calling him brother in law. My grandparents didn’t really understand the whole boyfriend thing, but they still treated him like another grandchild. You know who was never mentioned. And to top it all off, mom gave Junseok and Jinho leftovers, but not me. How could she?” He dramatically placed a hand over his heart at the last bit.

“I’m glad it sounds like you had a good time.” Yan An smiled, reaching behind Changgu to ruffle Hongseok’s hair. He grinned at the affection.

“I’m glad my family loves Jinho as much as I do.” He laughed. 

“Then how about we celebrate?” Changgu perked up. “Let’s go out to dinner!”

“Ah, but I just got home...” Hongseok pouted. “I don’t wanna sit in a car again. I’ve had enough driving for a month.”

“Oh, come on. You’re gonna say no to the taco place downtown?” Changgu whined.

“They do takeout now.” Yan An stated knowingly. Hongseok shot his head up the idea of takeout.

“We’re getting tacos, boys.” He said with finger guns. He grabbed his phone and quickly pulled up the number. “What do you two want?”

“Ohhh the pork tacos are so good we have to get those.” Changgu was already drooling at the thought as he said it.

“I’m fine with anything.” Yan An said, looking over the menu on his phone. “Why don’t we do the four person variety set? We’ll probably eat enough for four people.”

“I like the way you think.” Hongseok told him with a grin. He held the phone up to his ear, listening to the dial tone in hungry anticipation.

 

 

“Everything’s spinning.” Changgu suddenly said, slightly drooped over the table.

“No one made you drink that much.” Yan An remarked over the rim of his glass. “You just don’t know what moderation is.”

“How are we s’pose to moderate when it’s right _there_?” Hongseok retorted with a slight drunken drawl, gesturing towards the empty bottles and cans scattered across the table. The tops of his cheeks were a warm red and the big goofy smile stretched across his face hadn’t left since the blush appeared.

Yan An just shot him a disapproving look.

Hongseok’s phone buzzed on the table, precariously vibrating in its place on the very edge. The blond couldn’t help but read what flashed up on the screen and snorted.

“What?” Hongseok pouted at him as he picked up his phone and unlocked it, only after three tries. “You reading my texts?” 

“It’s only been three hours and Jinho’s already missing you.” He cackled.

Hongseok looked down at the new text from Jinho and blushed. He felt something in his chest tighten.

 

From My Jinho:  
I know we literally just got home, but I miss you already

 

The image of Jinho sleeping beside him flashed behind his eyes. Falling asleep and waking up each day to Jinho in his arms. All the little touches and soft words. Sharing meals, sharing a room, sharing a family. It was everything Hongseok wanted and now he’d had a five day trial of it.

“We-we just spent five days together, living in the same house and same bed and...” He rambled on in defense. “I already miss him too.”

“Oh-Oh no, Hongseok don’t get upset I wasn’t trying to be mean.” Yan An quickly sat down his glass when he saw his roommate’s bottom lip tremble. Five days are just enough to tease him.

“I really miss him.” Hongseok pouted, bottom eyelids slightly pushing upwards to fight back tears. He wanted those five days to last so, so much longer.

“Hongseokkie, you’ll see him again soon.” Changgu cooed, finally looking up at something that wasn’t the table top. His face glowed an equally bright shade of red and he looked a little wobbly as he held onto the table for support. “You don’t need to cry.”

“No, Changgu, I miss him _so much_. So, so much.” He repeated, like his friends just weren’t getting it.

“Hongseok, he’s literally texting you right now. You just saw him three hours ago. You spent five days, never leaving his side. It’s okay, he’s not going anywhere.” Yan An did his best to console him. He was a bit frazzled at how sudden Hongseok’s attitude changed.

“No, _Yan An_!” He said louder, furiously shaking his head. “I miss him so much, I don’t want to ever, ever, ever be away from him!” He clutched his phone to his chest.

“Hongseok, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Yan An furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, currently frustrated he’s the only one in this apartment who’s still competent and sober. “Why are you so upset all of a sudden?”

“What if this isn’t it? What if Jinho isn’t the _one_? What am I going to do if he leaves?” He choked on his words as the left his mouth, afraid saying out loud would make his worries come true. “I’ve finally found the love of my life and I’m scared he’ll leave.”

“Nothing’s certain when it comes to relationships, Hongseok.” Yan An sighed. “I can’t just sit here and lie to you that you’ll be together forever, when I have no way of knowing for sure. But, I don’t think Jinho is going to let you go that easy.”

“But-but... but what about when we’re older? What then? We can’t even get married! If... if we can’t do that... there’s nothing holding us together.” Hongseok continued. “Dating and rings won’t mean anything.”

“Hongseok. Me and Changgu can’t get married either, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop loving each other as we get older. It doesn’t mean we can’t spend the rest of our lives together.” Yan An reasoned, as best as he could with the drunken man sitting on the floor across from him. “So what if we can’t get married? I don’t care about the tax breaks or all that legal bullshit. Marriage is just an expensive piece of paper in the end. Having a priest say it’s okay to kiss the man you love doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be married to do any of the stuff you’re already doing, so why is it important later on?”

“South Korea’s shit.” Changgu suddenly yelled. The two looked at him in surprise. “I just wanna marry a cute boy from Shanghai!” 

Yan An fell quiet. Hongseok turned back to the blond. His eyes were searching Changgu’s face as the pink blush rose in his cheeks.

“I-you...” He stammered. “What did you say?”

Changgu rolled his head to face him with a grumpy pout.

“I said, South Korea is shit for not letting me marry you.” 

“Do you just mean in general, because men can’t marry other men-“ Hongseok started.

“No, because if I propose to him, it means I can’t do anything about it. We’ll just be engaged forever and ever and never be able to get married.” He interrupted with a whine. “I wanna propose and it actually mean something besides just a ring!”

“A-are... are you...” Yan An stared at Changgu, completely forgetting what they were just talking about. Suddenly he couldn’t stand by his opinion of marriage being pointless anymore.

“I wanted to get you a ring for our annivasi-anniversary, ‘cause I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” Changgu threw his arms up in the air in frustration. “But South Korea says gay married men are illegal and I can’t have the gorgeous prince of Shanghai as my husband!”

“For your anniversary? Just before Christmas?” Hongseok asked, still watching tears slowly bubble up in the corners of Yan An’s eyes.

“I was gonna propose, but it’s no use.” Changgu frowned, all of his words coming out slightly slurred. “I wanted to propose on our anniversary and then plan the wedding after graduation and have it at that pretty garden we went to on our third date and I’d kiss him under the hanging pots of fuschia and baby’s breath when there’s no snow. But we can’t even get married so it’s just a dumb dream that can’t actually happen and it makes me so _angry_!”

Hongseok wasn’t used to the aggressive, drunken tone of Changgu’s normally bubbly voice. He flinched as the younger yelled out his frustration. 

“I want someone to say ‘you can now kiss the groom’ and then Yan An will sweep me off my feet and we’ll go on our honey moon to Europe because he’s always said he wants to go but he’s never had the chance and we’ll take cheesy couple pictures at the Eiffel Tower and in those pretty churches and visit all the art museums.” Changgu went on. “But we can’t because South Korea is shit!”

“You... you were really going to propose?” Yan An’s voice trembled. “You were going to propose... to me?”

“I’ve been planning it for months, but it’s just! Not! Fair!” Changgu groaned as he kicked his legs like a child. “I was going to have everyone over for a party and they’d all be in on it and then later I was going to pull you away romantically and get down on one knee with flowers and the ring in my pocket. And then when you said yes we’d pull out a bottle of champagne and party even harder all night long and then I’d kiss the _fuck_ out of you.” 

Yan An covered his mouth with one hand. A tear spilled down his cheek.

Hongseok was sober enough to know he’d had a lot to drink. He knew he was drunk enough to get a little over emotional and have the nagging thoughts in the back of his head bubble up to the surface occasionally. But Changgu? Changgu was drunk enough to reveal that he was going to propose to Yan An. Hongseok knew that had to mean Changgu wasn’t going to remember he’d said it when he woke up tomorrow. There’s no way he’d spoil that big of a surprise if he knew what he was saying.

“Changgu.” Yan An hiccuped behind his hand. Hongseok watched in utter shock. Yan An didn’t cry all that often. He cried at funerals and after achieving really big goals and when all of the cats preferred him over everyone else at the cafe they visited that one time, but Yan An wasn’t as much of a crier as his boyfriend. This was the first time he’d seen his friend cry in almost a year.

“Changgu, you dumbass.” He sobbed, punching the other in the arm weakly. “You drunken idiot!”

“Wahh! Don’t hit me!” Changgu whined, but Yan An just punched him again.

“You ruined the surprise proposal and you’re not even gonna remember it in the morning!” The blond cried out and shook Changgu’s arm back and forth. So Yan An knew he wouldn’t remember it either, huh?

“D-don’t shake me there’s four of you now instead of two!” Changgu exclaimed.

“You fucking _idiot_!” Yan An yelled at him this time, his voice high pitched and shaky. “I can’t believe you just gave away the entire surprise like it was nothing!”

He shook his head and let go of Changgu and grabbed his phone. His eyes looked conflicted and Hongseok didn’t even know what to say. The blond furiously punched numbers into his phone and stood up, bringing it to his ear. Hongseok watched him walk away from the couch, unable to do anything. Changgu was slumped against the couch, holding on for dear life. The room must still be spinning for him.

“Jaeyoon?” He paced back and forth in the hall. “Can I stay with you and Inseong for the night? I know you two don’t have a lot of extra room, but your apartment’s closer than Seokwoo’s.”

“No, not really. There’s just a lot going on right now and I need to be somewhere else so I can clear my head. I’ll try to explain when I get there.”

“Thank you.”

He turned back towards the living room and bit his lip, clearly wanting to say something, anything, but he couldn’t. Tears were still rolling down his cheeks. He exhaled heavily out of his nose and made his way down the hall to his and Changgu’s bedroom. Hongseok heard the sound of zippers being pulled and clothes being stuffed into a bag. 

The clock on the wall said it was only eight at night, but it suddenly felt so much later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I’m going to wrap up the story!  
> Also me: let’s add more conflict!
> 
> Sorry for making this chapter a little hectic, I was trying to write myself into the end, but things weren’t lining up right. That’s what happens when life gets crazy, huh?
> 
> Most of those who left comments agreed they wanted to see some side stories, so I really am going to try to bring this story to a close. I’m just unsure whether that means ending with 20 chapters or more than 20. 
> 
> In the mean time, who do you want to see first in the side stories? Hyunggu and Yuto, Wooseok and Yuto, Changgu and Yan An, Hui and Hyojong, Hyojong and Deborah, or Shinwon? I’ve started trying to think up little bits to write up for each, but I don’t know where to start.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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